Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The drive back was always the hardest. Hours upon hours filled with nothing but an endless loop of songs she could sing along to in her sleep muted by the inescapable feeling of sadness that claws against her ribs. Sometimes she wonders if the discordant discomfort she often feels in the static of silence would be better than this.

She supposes she should be grateful. The feeling of sorrow that overtakes her every time she leaves means she has something worth missing, or so eomma had said.

It doesn't change how much it hurts.

Or how she constantly feels like her life is on pause while she's away.

She knows that life at home doesn't stop when she's gone. That her moms still make breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day, still watch movies on the couch on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and make pancakes on Sundays. They still wake up, work, sleep, and get a day older for every night she's not there.

But what stings the most are all the ways Eunjoo changes while she's gone.

She gets taller, louder, sassier. She finds out who she is and what she likes, and by the time Hana's home for break again, her little sister has changed.

Eunjoo stacking the building blocks for the person she wants to be has always been one of Hana's favourite things to witness. Eyes wide with wonder as knowledge worms its way into her brain, shy excitement at learning a new dance from her friends, the way she scrunches her face in concentration when trying to explain something interesting to Hana like she has to deliver a perfect presentation to get her older sister to buy in. Hana always buys in — whatever Eunjoo loves, she loves too.

They talk on the phone every other day, so she's not entirely out of the loop, but not being there in person when these changes happen makes her heart ache in a way she's never felt before.

Maybe it's not her life that is on pause while she's away, maybe it's her. Stuck with a version of reality that is no longer exists by the time she walks through the threshold of their front door.

The ache persists the morning after. Duller, by a small margin, but more bearable. Hana feels like she can breathe without every inhale cracking the dam that holds the tears at bay.

Her phone buzzes against the shiny finish of the particleboard nightstand.

mimi
Can you give us a call when you have a second?
Not urgent or bad.

Despite re-reading the second text a couple of times, her body buzzes with anxiety.

Her moms never text asking her to call, they just call. It's incredibly annoying at times, especially when the call could've just been a text, but right now she thinks she prefers the insistent ringing of her phone from three different contacts on rotation.

Unlocking her phone and opening the group chat, her finger trembles as she hits the video call button on the top right corner. To her surprise all three of them answer.

"Hello?"

"Hi, gomdung-i. How was the drive back to school?" Rumi asks.

Hana tilts her head to the side in confusion — she can't hear the question echo from her two other moms' phones. "Fine? Um, what's going on? Are you not all in the same room? Did something happen?"

"I told you guys she's too perceptive for this." There's a laugh in Zoey's voice like they had discussed this at length prior to calling.

"Like mother, like daughter, I guess," Mira replies with a fond roll of her eyes.

"Nana!" Eunjoo's head pops right below Rumi's. "Can you turn your computer on? Please?"

"Uh, sure, I guess."

"You're all really bad at this. I don't know what you did without me," Eunjoo's voice floats out of the speaker as Hana moves to her desk, laughter bubbling out of her when she catches the look Eunjoo throws their moms across the phone's camera.

Eunjoo's face is expressive in a way so completely different from her own. While Hana is an open book, wearing everything she feels on her face, Eunjoo is a lot more methodical about showing how she feels. More reserved, and a little more guarded, she rarely shares more than a sharp stare unless the moment calls for it. Not being able to see the deadpan of her face as she delivers flawless, loving jabs at their moms is probably the thing she misses the most.

"Okay my computer's on."

Eunjoo lights up at her words, goofy smile taking up most of her face.

"Okay! Okay! Now open Discord and Overwatch."

"Juni?"

The nickname had stuck after the year toddler-aged Eunjoo tried in vain to say 'Jupiter', because she too wanted to be Hana's favourite.

"I wanna be your favourite, Nana. Like juniper."

"You're already my favourite juniper."

"Ugh just do it, Nana!"

She opens both applications. As soon as Discord loads she's getting a call from a group chat she does not remember being added to.

"Mami?" she asks, seeing her mom's bright smile — as wide and as warm as always — when she joins the call.

"Okay first of all, we're all so sorry for invading your privacy and making Juni break into your Discord when she borrowed your phone to play FNF." Oh. Of course. She should've seen that coming. "But we wanted this to be a surprise and we thought it would be better than any of us seeing what's going on in your group chats."

"Nothing is going on in any group chats, madre!" Her voice comes out an octave higher than normal, screechy and guilty. None of her moms needed to know about any of the stickers from that one server.

"Uh-huh, sure, tortuguita." At the cheeky smile her mom throws her way, Hana goes beet red and she immediately moves to cover her face with her hands.

"Can you just tell me what's happening right now and stop giving me that look. Please."

The participant connected alert echoes in her headphones. "We just wanted to do something different this semester," Mira's calm voice comes through

Another participant connected alert chimes at the same time as the Overwatch party invitation noise.

Tabbing over to the game, she sees the banner up top asking her to join mimi1013's party.

"Eugh, I forgot you changed your username to that Mimi," she rolls her eyes with a fond smile. "Gross."

"Be glad she shot down my suggestion of 'lovergirl1013'," Rumi snorts out, making everyone on the call groan.

"Wait, there's five players," she notices after she's added to the party. It's usually just her, Eunjoo, Mimi, and mami. "Who…?"

Realization dawns on her at the same time as Rumi is giving her one of those signature dorky smiles she's never outgrown. She wouldn't really be her eomma without them.

"Eomma?" she asks hopefully.

"We got her on the Steam Deck so we can do this as a family when you're away for school Nana. This way you won't miss us as much," Eunjoo says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Like spending time playing one of her favourite games while she's away is a given. It makes Hana's eyes sting and her breath catch.

"You're not going to be able to play on that, eomma," she croaks out with a wet laugh.

"Your eomma can't play anyway," Mira says matter of fact. "We've relegated her to heals-only Lucio."

Laughter spills out of her before she can stop it. At the way her eomma looks both offended, but also proud to be included. At the way Mira gives her that fond smirk.

At the way her family is just so ridiculous.

And loving.

And hers.

"Do I still get my pocket healer?" Hana directs the question to the only person on the call that can answer.

"Always."

Chapter Text

"How's Rumi?" Mira asks as the sound of the access door closing echoes through the quiet buzz of the night.

Hana — in one of her hyper-focused deep dives — had learned that Venus would be visible at night for the next couple of weeks and had begged to be allowed to stay up. Tonight. Mira, keeping her claim as Hana's favourite adult, had helped present the case to her mom, and after an afternoon of negotiating nap times Zoey had agreed.

"Good. Excited to be coming home tomorrow." She can hear Zoey's footsteps approaching the outdoor lounge chair Mira's perched on with Hana sitting securely on her lap. There's a slight limp, barely there, but Mira makes an entry in her internal to-do list to help Zoey apply some of the gel on her knee before bed. "She asked me to tell you that you spoil her gomdung-i too much."

"There is no such thing." Mira pulls Hana in closer, bouncing Hana on her lap in a way that makes the seven year old squeal with laughter. "Plus when Rumi's not home, she's my little menace."

"You both fight over her like you were the ones who carried her for nine months." Zoey's eyes glint with mischief that's only just noticeable in the faint light of the city around them before she leans into Hana's personal space with an evil cackle. "She's mine, all mine!"

"Mamiii!" The protest dies in a bout of hysterical laughter as Zoey tickles the spot under her ribs. Hana wraps her flailing arms around Zoey's neck in an attempt at diversion, knowing that her mom will never pass up on holding her if she asks.

Zoey beams and straightens up, arms wrapped around Hana like she's the most precious thing in this world. She is, Mira has had the pleasure — the honour — to find out.

As the laughter subsides and she makes herself comfortable in Zoey's arms, Hana gives her a small kiss on the cheek. "Sharing is caring, mami."

"Is that so?" Zoey gives Hana a quick look before levelling her gaze on Mira. "Does that mean I can steal your spot on Mira's lap?"

Heat crawls from her chest to her cheeks at the question, and based on Zoey's growing smirk, Mira knows her thoughts are painted across her face.

The way Zoey makes her feel is unlike anything Mira has experienced before. Love without conditions, kept alive by affection and open communication and not a running tally. There's no transactions or unattainable expectations. It's real. Hard and sometimes flawed, but genuine and full of care. And god does it make her feel alive.

"I guess that's fine." Hana looks at Mira, lip jutting out in a small pout like somehow Mira can save her from this wretched and unfair fate of being without her Mimi.

Instead Mira betrays her. Kind of. "If mami sits on my lap that means you get double cuddles."

As expected, Hana's eyes light up, little body wiggling with joy in Zoey's arms.

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" she chants, pumping her arms up in the air. "Double cuddles! Double cuddles!! Best! Night! Ever!"

Zoey laughs as she puts Hana down. It's that same warm laugh that made Mira fall in love with her — unguarded and full of joy. The one that makes her heart pump harder and faster. The one that makes her wonder what she did to deserve this. Deserve her. Deserve them.

She settles between Mira's legs like the space was made just for her — and with the way Zoey's body moulds against hers, perhaps it was — and leans back into Mira's chest.

Hana climbs on next, moving her body left and right until she's comfortable on her mom's lap, leaning back as well.

It's perfect.

The weight of both of their bodies against hers feels like home.

Mira moves to place her hands on top of Zoey's, whose arms are wrapped around Hana, and interlaces their fingers.

"Do you see Venus, baby?" Zoey asks softly.

"Mmm, I don't think so." Over Zoey's shoulder, Mira can see Hana's head darting left and right as she looks up at the sky.

"Here." Zoey takes Hana's right hand, Mira's fingers still tangled with her own, and moves it to point at a particularly bright star. "Follow your hand and you'll find it."

"I see it!"

"Venus is fascinating," Zoey starts. Mira recognizes the enthusiasm laced between the words, the one that's always present when they touch upon one her favourite topics. Mira lives for moments like these. "It's so cool that it's the hottest planet in our solar system, even though there's another planet between it and the sun. And did you know that it's the only planet in our system that rotates clockwise? Also! It has a lot of volcanoes."

"Volcanoes!" Hana yells before continuing to nod enthusiastically at the rest of Zoey's facts.

Mira, for her part, settles for watching the two of them instead of the night sky. She could live like this forever.