Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

You hear the wind through the trees. You take a deep breath of clean… sweet… air?

You go from lying down to standing in a scramble of fabric. You nearly stepped on your own cloak on the way up.

When did you go to sleep in a clearing? You- you avoid doing that, anymore-

Bonbon? Is someone burning caramel? Please, it has to be caramel. Like last time. It’s okay. Breathe.

In…

Out…

“Siffrin!” You hear in the distance, getting closer. “Siffrin!”

You turn to Mira, ready to speak, and stop short.

She. She doesn’t own that outfit anymore. She got rid of it because she thought it would bug you before you could tell her it was okay WHY IS SHE WEARING IT SHE HASN’T HAD IT IN YEARS-

Why is she making that face.

Oh, you’re hyperventilating.

“Siffrin?”

Breathe.

In…

Out…

Mira. doesn’t reach out to comfort you.

…Hold on, her hair’s longer than this? She said she didn’t want to cut it. And- earrings? She’s proud of not having those! She let the piercings heal over to say she is not interested in bonding!

This… it can’t be- 

You smile. It seems you’ve missed your cue.

“Sleepover, Clocktower?”

“Wh- how did you know about- you remember?”

There is hope in her eyes and it hurts and you process what she said-

You bolt.

She yelps in surprise in the distance. You skid past the shop and the Odile with no grey hair who should not be done with inventory, and the Isa with no glasses who’s coming back from the Favor Tree hours upon hours early-

You can’t breathe, your eye is burning, you have to go, you have to find-

“LOOP! LOOP!” You yell as you reach the tree, almost hurling yourself up into the branches. The scrapes barely register.

For a moment, no one is there and you feel yourself breaking at the last of your life being ripped from you-

-and then they’re there and you throw yourself at them so hard you almost knock you both out of the tree, sobbing into the star on their chest.

“Je-jeez, stardust, you missed me that much?”

Your only response is a hiccupy noise, hugging them tighter. They gingerly pat your back.

“You’re still bad at hugs.” You almost giggle through your tears.

“Oh, ha-ha. You’re one to talk, you’re squeezing me like a cheesecloth.”

You take a few deep breaths, slowly calming down.

“How long’s it been, anyway?” 

Another couple breaths. You don’t pull away. “I’ve- hic- I’ve been waiting for you for ten years, Loop.”

Their hand pauses on your back. “Oh. That… that’s a while.”

They hold you like that for a bit. Then their fingers dig in slightly. Oh, stars.

“Why are we here again?”

“It wasn’t me!” You protest. “I- I was waiting! I wouldn’t wish for- you’d kill me if I did this, and I’d let you.”

Their hand abruptly releases.

“...” Loop shifts like they’re thinking of pushing you away, but doesn’t.

You hold on tighter.

“...The Mirabelle here.”

“...What about her, stardust?”

“She asked me if I remembered.”

“Ah.”

In the silence, you hear footsteps on the path. Loop stiffens.

“...Did you-?”

“None of them are following the script.” You hiss. “I- I can’t- I can’t.”

“Siffrin?” Someone calls from below. Mirabelle. Not Mira.

“Sif?” And- and that’s not your Isa.

“Does anyone see him?” Not-Odile asks.

“FRIN!” And that’s definitely not Bonbon, Bonnie is nearly an adult-

Loop tenses a little as your hold tightens, but seems to understand. Why wouldn’t they? They did the same thing to your party.

“How did you say he was, Mira?”

“He- he was already awake when I went to wake him up, and then he looked at me and started breathing fast.” Mira- Housemaiden recounted. “Then he asked about the clocktower. And- I asked if he remembered the loops! And he ran.”

“So that’s, ‘yes, probably’.” Fighter mused. “He was pretty upset when he ran past me. I think I heard yelling over here? Something… loops! He was yelling about the loops.”

“So he does remember!” Housemaiden sounded cheered for a moment. “But- why is he so upset?”

“Maybe he remembers… the rock.” Researcher suggested delicately.

The entire party shuddered.

“Okay, that would be upsetting.”

“But we made sure it never ever happened again!” The Kid protested.

They went silent, thinking.

Loop holds you tighter, this time. Neither of you know how to handle this.

The entire party looping?

…Except you?

Stars above, you can’t deal with this. Not now. Not after so blinding long.

“So… where is he?” Fighter breaks the silence. 

“His footprints stop.” There’s a rustle as Researcher touches the grass. “There’s no indication he slowed or paused, the prints simply vanish mid-stride.”

“But that can’t happen!” The Kid protests.

“We would have found out if he knew a secret craft by now, wouldn’t we?” Housemaiden worries.

Ha.

Loop gives you a warning squeeze, which confuses you for a second, before you remember you used to have manic episodes. Not just a single sarcastic laugh in the privacy of your own head.

Maybe you are better prepared than last time. It sure doesn’t blinding feel like it.

“...Let’s go. He might show up for dinner.” Researcher proposes. 

“Yeah.” Fighter cheers slightly. “Good ol’ Sif. He’s always hungry.”

Both of you slowly relax as the party troops away.

You’re silent for a while.

“...Stardust, as much as I appreciate how much you seem to have missed me, let go.”

You release Loop. Right, they barely got touch, either. …They must have missed you, too.

You look at each other silently.

Loop looks away for a moment. “So, how can I help you this wonderful new loop, stardust?”

“...Are you still against my final plan?” You half-joke.

They give you a glare. Then they sort of… deflate.

“Well. It got you out, now didn’t it?”

You slump, too. “I… I didn’t mean it like that. I- stars, Loop, I shouldn’t have done that when you said not to.”

They snort, and you wonder how they make their noises, with no mouth. 

“Ten years, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“...How is everyone?”

“They’re… doing well.” You swallow the lump in your throat. “You know… they still ask about you, sometimes.”

Loop goes still.

“I always have to say I haven’t heard from you yet. …I think Odile thinks you’re dead.” You look away. “She’s got a lot of books published. Odile, I mean.”

“...Author-ology?”

Despite yourself, you burst out laughing. “Oh stars! I haven’t heard one of those in forever.”

Chapter Text

Your feet are light, a scarf is covering your hair and face, and Loop has your hat and your cloak and can keep the hat permanently for all you care. You pack up the orbs and enough food to last you to the top, then slip out of the blinding Clocktower as silently as you’d come.

The plan was a lot more purposely lonesome than the first, ten years ago. 

You open the gate, then see if you can lock it behind you. You’re not sure how to eject the orbs, so you report to Loop, who has all your travel stuff, and instead leads a trail away, to throw them off and waste their time in the morning.

The rock trap, you get through without worrying about resetting it because you don’t feel safe in that room whatsoever. So you can’t trigger it! Yaaaay.

The Sadnesses are even less of a problem than they were a decade ago, and you easily clean them up as you get the keys. After you get them all… you lock up their doors again and hide them. In different places.

You feel a little bad about this, but you cannot deal if this party catches up to you. You need to see if you can find clues yourself.

After all, it’s been ten years. You know Mira.

And the blinding carrot method, by now.

The King is a joke to you, at this point. And by the time you get there, the party probably won’t even be in the House. Plenty of time.

You defeat the first floor boss without blinking.

As you pause to eat in the snack room, you consider the House. It’s a shame you won’t get to visit some of the special rooms on your way up. There’s some stuff on the third floor you’d love to see again… outside the current selection of company.

Oh, Loop’s never seen the orrery room, have they? Since they seemed surprised at some of the Memories you got, way back when. They probably couldn’t have read the password.

…Hold on, have you told Loop that you know?

Oh, stars, why is that more challenging than taking on the House alone? You’ve been working on your communication problems for ten! Blinding! Years!

You shake your head at yourself, finishing up, and miss grown-up Bonbon’s treats.

…

The secret library is a lot more interesting when you actually know some of the theory.

You pick up a craft book on the way out. You can read during your next snack break.

[Stardust.]

You make the fourth sign with a little rustiness. (Loop? What’s going on?)

[The sun’s up, and they’re taking the bait. Call you back later~!]

(Thanks, Loop!)

You smile as you hide the keys. You don’t know how to close the secret library, so you sort-of throw one of the keys down there for the heck of it. It’s unlikely they’ll catch up this far anyway.

Book tucked under your arm, you open the gate, and rush the floor Sadness.

…

You miss your cloak. You’ll get it back next loop, but right now you’re really appreciating all your missing pockets and cold protection.

The book is interesting. You’ll see what happens if you apply this to your paper attacks. The King may as well be paper himself, when you get to him. Really, though, you prefer learning by imitation. You’re better at it.

Finishing up your snack, you leave the book here as you pack up to move on.

[...] Loop starts a line.

You pick up. (How did it go?)

[They stopped following me. Is this the second floor?]

(Entering third.) You clarify.

[Just so you know, I’m keeping your hat and cloak for the rest of the loop.]

(I figured.) You smile as you push through the door. (Hey, Loop?)

[Yes, stardust?]

(You can keep the hat. I’ll hand it over myself every loop.)

[...Really?]

(Yeah. I missed it a little, but it belongs to you more than me, really.)

Dead silence. Your brow furrows.

(...Loop?)

They sound tense. [What do you mean, stardust.]

(Well, you’ve worn it more than me? I haven’t had that hat in ten years. Sure it’s a nice hat, but you have dibs anyway.)

[What do you mean, stardust.]

Rip the plaster off. (...Did I never tell you I figured out who you are?)

[YOU REALLY BLINDING DIDN’T, STARDUST.]

(Oops?)

[.....] You defeat a Sadness distractedly as Loop goes silent.

(I really did wait for you. We all did.)

[...Did you tell them?]

(That’s your secret. I’m not going to tell your secrets, Loop.)

You get the first key one-handed.

[You… knew, and still waited?]

(Of course I did. You’re blinding annoying, but I don’t think there’s anyone I trust more in the Universe. You’d have shown up eventually. You wouldn’t leave forever without saying something sarcastic first.)

[...Haha… You really have that much faith in me?]

(You got me out.) You shrug as you slash a Nostalgie into sugary mush. (I really wouldn’t have made it without you. …I’d let you have our cloak back all the time too, but I’m freezing my crabbing butt off in here, stars above it’s a lot colder than I gave it credit for.)

Loop laughed. It sounded a little wet.

(I’ll thank you in person next loop.) You decide. (You can tell me what they looked like chasing after you.)

[They definitely saw I was wearing… our… outfit.] Loop informed you slowly. [So when they see the gate- hold on, I want to go see.]

(Tell me about it next loop!) You thaw out the correct path. (I’ll probably be at the King’s by then.)

[See you next loop, then, stardust.]

(See you then, Loop.)

That went well. You hang up as you stop in front of the Change God’s statue.

You wait.

“...Come on, I need the keyknife to go through. I thought you said you’d give it every time.”

Nothing.

“This isn’t going to be the last loop, I know that.” You tell it, annoyed. 

Nothing.

“Don’t you want to see what happens?” You coax. “A very different Siffrin making it to the top, alone? Don’t worry, the Hh- Mirabelle is coming, I just changed some things around on the way up. Won’t that be interesting?”

Absolutely nothing.

You turn around and call Loop again.

(Problem, Change God’s being a jerk.)

…

You strike at the sharpening stone with your blade again, and this time, the sparks catch, and you’re blinded for a moment. Gagging as the smell of burning hair hits, you press your face to your sleeve.

(It worked! That was a great idea, Loop!)

[Of course it was~]

(I’m heading up, thank you again!)

[See you later, stardust.]

Humming, you take care of the floor boss, and head up to take your last snack break. You really doubt the party is further than the first floor.

Maybe you should have brought a second book. Eh, there’s always next time.

And next time.

And next time.

You breathe in, and out.

Part of the problem last time was how you were in a ‘hurry’ for nothing. There’s no time limit, Siffrin. Enjoy your food.

Bonbon samosas are good, even if they’re a little cold and potato-y. None of them are burnt, which didn’t register at first, but now reminded you that this Kid is also remembering this time loop. You must have gotten ‘lucky’ that they were doing samosas again this time.

It’s fine, though. You haven’t eaten samosas in… a long time. The aversion has worn off. Not something you can say about other foods, but you know why you don’t like those, and it’s not because they got old. Samosas are fine. Even potato ones.

…You want Bonbon’s snacks, you remember just yesterday you hung around their kitchen cart and they shoo’d you off with cheesy stuffed pepper bites.

You miss them already.

…Oh, you seem to be seasoning these. Mm, salt.

Chapter Text

“...Bright One. Do you remem-”

“Hey.” You interrupt with no enthusiasm. “Before we get into it, can I ask you a question?”

“...” He almost seems to peek out from behind his hands. “...Go on then, Bright One.”

“Has it even once occurred to you that no one will remember Vaugarde?”

He recoiled. “No… noo… ooh… oooh………”

You tilt your head at him. “Really? No, seriously. You never thought about how a frozen country is basically already dead and gone? Statues can’t be friendly.”

“Oohh… oh… ooh… Bright One…”

“Do you know how many people have died because of you?” You start counting on your fingers. “147 died of exhaustion. 289 of starvation, because all their trade and food sources were frozen. Families fled inwards, and half of them died to wild animals or to the Sadnesses made by the terrified frozen people, and the remainders were frozen lost in the countryside. The final fatality count is never known.”

The King is shaking, tears multiplying.

You spread your hands. “Congratulations, legacy of the Northern Island, killer of Vaugarde. No one will remember any of this. Just your wish. What a blinding joke.”

“Nooo…. nooooo….”

“Give up on your wish.” You demand. “Release them.”

“...Bright One…” He shuddered.

“One way or another, Vaugarde will be remembered.” You snarl. “Either you give it up, or I put you down. You know where I am from, same as you. Don’t resist.”

You glare up at him, and wait.

His shaking gets worse and worse. You have to side-step Tears. But you’ve always wondered if it were actually possible, and there isn’t anyone for him to grab but you. And you do not trust him to get that close.

Vaguely, you wonder why he’s calling you Bright One even without the cloak and hat. It’s probably the hair. But if he remembers, all the better- you can tear him apart more than once and he’ll remember it.

It takes a bit. You’re pretty sure he’s having a panic attack.

Then hot, sugary air whips around, and you shield your face, and- huh.

The King is about average height. He’s wearing armor, but it doesn’t have so many stars on it, nor is it so intricate. He huddles on the ground as the House thaws, and you look down at him. You don’t much care about the craft fatigue he’s likely facing.

You’ll have to remember this next time. It’s a lot less annoying when you don’t get slammed by offensive time craft multiple times in one battle. And this was… so much more cathartic. He’s truly destroyed, now, and you didn’t even have to draw your blade.

Stepping around him, you wander off ahead.

…

The Head Housemaiden looks confused.

You don’t blame her, she was expecting Mirabelle to come save the day.

You don’t talk to her. Not yet. Instead, you go look over the railing and see if you can spot your island from here. Yep, there it is, one little spot on the horizon that plucks at your brain like a string instrument.

“...Hello?”

“Hello.” You fiddle with your coin, not looking at her.

“Where is Housemaiden Mirabelle?”

“On her way up.” You wonder what it’s like to be in the main House while it shuffles itself back into position. Probably disorienting.

“What… happened to the King?”

You jerk a thumb over your shoulder. “Made him stop. He’s in a heap. Crying. Like always.”

“Who are you, Bright One?”

You hesitate. You can’t. You can’t. You aren’t theirs.

“...Stardust.” You mutter.

You turn your head as you hear the far door open.

“Welp, best be off. Don’t tell them where I went.”

So saying, you draw your knife, and hop over the railing. Euphrasie gasps in shock, but you aren’t there, or falling, when she rushes to look over the edge.

You kinda wish you had a second knife to hang onto the stonework with, but this is good for now. You don’t exactly need a plan to get back up. You’re just… going to hang out. Heh.

You hear her walk back to her position slowly.

“Mirabelle?”

“Head Housemaiden Euphrasie! What happened? How was the King defeated?”

“I don’t… I don’t know.” 

You feel very powerful and mysterious for a moment, but also you’re hanging over a very long fall, so the feeling goes away quickly.

“Have you seen someone in a darkless hat and cloak?” Researcher demanded. “Goes by Siffrin?”

“No, I can’t say I’ve met someone like that. But there was someone up here!”

“Describe them.”

“Lightless clothes, dark scarf, bright hair, very… unusual calm disposition. Introduced as Stardust.”

“That… Stardust?” Fighter repeats.

“Despite having defeated the King, Stardust was pristine.” The Head Housemaiden told them. “I could not discern their craft type, somehow, and they knew where you were when I asked.”

“That’s… odd.” Researcher stated.

You sort of wanted to laugh. Unfortunately, you can’t call Loop from here. You’ll have to do that next time.

“Where did they go, ma’am?” Fighter asked.

Euphrasie hesitated. “I… don’t know.”

“You don’t know.”

“I can honestly say that Stardust is one of the strangest people I have ever met, and that is a very high bar.”

You smile at the compliment, but also hanging here is getting old. Set the loop already.

Wait. Have they gotten past the King before?

Aw, starfallen-

-

It took an hour for them to trigger the Head Housemaiden’s script. Your hands almost ache when you sit up, but there’s no time for that.

You bolt into the forest before Housemaiden can possibly reach your starting point. You don’t go straight to Loop. They know where you disappeared last time. So that’s where they’re all going to be.

Which means none of them are going to be near the Clocktower. You can pull the trick twice in a row without having to sneak in overnight.

…

You take a circuitous route back to the Favor Tree, edging along below the cliff on the wrong side of Dormont. You’re very pleased with yourself, bags weighing you down slightly.

[Stardust, where are you.]

(Hi Loop! I got our stuff again. Is the party still near the tree?)

[Thankfully not. I hated that, by the way.]

(Well, you can do what I did, and run off into the woods before they get there.)

[You forget the Fighter starts near the tree.]

(Oh, right. My bad?)

You climb up and into the woods behind the Favor Tree.

(If it helps, they’re going to get back to the Clocktower and realize all our stuff is gone. And the orbs.)

[So?]

“So, they won’t visit the tree first.” You finish, stepping around the trunk and sitting on your side.

Loop materialized on their root, staring expectantly.

You laugh, and hand over your hat. “Do we try baiting them with you again, or are they too smart for that now?”

“Whatever will let me wear the cloak.”

You look up at the leaves thoughtfully. “Do you think wishing for double cloaks would stick around?”

They huffed, settling the hat over their flare decisively. “Don’t even joke about that, stardust.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You put your bag down between you, giving them the go-ahead as you leaned back against your root and picked up a leaf to twiddle between your fingers. “I really missed you.”

“I do not miss the loops.”

“Me either, but that’s different.” You half-smile, amused.

Loop fidgets with their hat. “...You’re different.”

You shrug. “It’s been ten years, and I got put in therapy.”

They snort in disbelief. “You? Therapy? Really?”

“Yeah, my last loop I was hallucinating.” You admit. “And apparently I didn’t act like a living human for, what, a month after? It was a relief to be out, but the loops were horrible and I never saw one of my family members ever again.”

“What? Who?!” Loop demands, alarmed.

“You, you blinder.”

They freeze.

You look at them softly. “I’m not sure you really get how much I missed you.”

Their eyes get shiny. You think you see a tear. “Ew… mushy… gross…”

“Yeah, well, that’s what you get for disappearing on me for an entire decade.” You huff, tipping your head back to stare up at the canopy. The bits of light you can see look almost like stars.

“...I didn’t mean to.”

“...Hm?” You tilt your head back down.

Loop isn’t looking at you. “The wish was done and I… I was done, too. I faded, stardust. I wasn’t coming back. It… it hasn’t been ten years for me.”

Something in you drops. 

You breathe, hand curling around the leaf. In… out…

“Stardust- are you crying?” Loop is looking at you, blurry through your eye.

“You were dead?” Your voice comes out fragile. “But. The loop. You died?”

“Well, I’m here now, so it doesn’t exactly seem permanent.” They glance away uncomfortably.

There’s the sound of footsteps.

“FRIN!!!”

You both jolt to face the path, startled.

You dearly wish, for a moment, that you could disappear into thin air like Loop, dropping the leaf and scrambling to get up the tree-

Everything goes fuzzy.

You can sort of sense Loop out of your periphery, the both of you watching, frozen, as Bon- the Kid, skids into sight and stops.

Straining your ears, you can hear them saying something about thinking they heard your voice.

They drag their feet as they leave.

You both wait another couple moments, then release.

You have a coughing fit as sensation floods your body again, falling off the side of the tree and flat on your back. Loop’s breath hitches, and they cough… too?

Eyes meeting, you realize you can see their face. The one they share with you.

“What in stars’ name just happened.” Loop rasps.

“I… don’t… know.” You wheeze. “You have a nose.”

Their hands fly to their face, and they go still.

Panting, you sit up, eyes wide, and look them up and down. Then, still breathless, you smother your laughter.

“Pff- we… we don’t have to… fight over the cloak anymore…”

“...Shut up, stardust.”

Chapter Text

This time, you decide to pick up a different book on the way up, looking at shields as you eat. It’s interesting reading about something you already know how to do, the whys and hows you ignored to learn it at all.

You leave it in the snacks room, and don’t pick the correct tears to thaw, on purpose. It’s not like the Change God will help you. So you’d rather spend time in the starmap room.

Besides, it probably can give you a brush-up on your highly illegal memories of the stars. 

You snicker to yourself as you remember that conversation with Odile. That’s certainly a fun way to describe it.

Stopping by the window, you unroll one of the scrolls, and attempt to find the constellation depicted. You can’t tell if it’s still nighttime, because of the King’s blinding infinite stars thing. Does that have actual constellations? You’ve never questioned it before, but the craft required to plunge an entire portion of sky into eternal night must be terrifying.

…Hm. Why is this more impressive than anything else the starfallen blinder has ever done?

Eh, enough about him. Time to stare in the direction of your birthplace and get a heada-

What.

You slowly lift your hand and call.

(Loop?)

[I’m a little busy, stardust.]

(I can see the Island from the House.)

[Don’t make yourself start bleeding again.]

(No, Loop, I can see the Island.) Your voice breaks a little. (It’s a bit dark, but I think it has mountains. I can sorta see the peaks on the horizon. Just barely.)

[...What.]

(It doesn’t hurt.) You breathe.

[Wh- ack! Call you back stardust-]

The line went dead.

…Well, hopefully they didn’t catch them. Oops?

Maybe you should go set fire to the gate again and then come back here so you won’t be bothered. No point in messing with keys when the way forward is available.

…

[Stardust?]

(You alright, Loop?)

[Oh, good, you aren’t out of range. Don’t call me while I’m being chased, stardust.]

(...I’ll try not to? I just. I thought you’d want to know. Are you okay?)

[Of course I am~! But they’re getting persistent. Are we doing this again next time?]

(That depends on if we want to go into the House at all. We can just relax next loop, and figure out our whole… deal.)

[...You’d let them get to the King?]

(Loop, you heard them, they’ve been doing this without a Siffrin for a while. The Housemaiden probably knows shields backwards and forwards. I’m not going to freak out when he opens the battle.)

[I… see.]

There’s a pause. You swing your legs, relaxed.

(...Do you want me to sneak in every time?) You ask. (Because I’m rapidly running out of things to do in here all on my own. I mean, it’s interesting being back here after ten years and being able to think about everything calmly, but I’d rather see what the celebration in Dormont is like for once.)

[...I’ve never been to it either.]

Another pause. You get to hear the novelty of Loop breathing.

[Are you sure about this?]

(It’ll be annoying to steal the orbs from them every loop anyway.) 

[Alright. Tomorrow… free day.] They sounded disbelieving of themself.

(Free day.) You agree happily. (Hey, what floor do you think the party’s on right now?)

[One? They followed me a lot.]

(Alright, I want you to see how I defeated the King last time. You’re going to love this.)

…

You left your cloak and hat in the starmap room, and then went and ripped apart the King’s will to live again.

Loop was still laughing when you got out of range. 

You grin as you approach the Head Housemaiden, remembering what she said last time and intending to make the top of the list this time.

“Hello Euphrasie~ the King is defeated, Vaugarde is saved, and H- Mirabelle should be up within five-ten minutes.” You bow. “I’m Stardust, by the way. Buh-bye~!”

You throw your concentration on the feeling of being detached that had hidden you from the Kid, and are very pleased when you vanish.

The Head Housemaiden gaped at where you’d stood.

This has to make the top of her ‘strangest person’ list.

…

You almost pout as you put on your hat and cloak to continue stargazing. Or skygazing, you suppose.

Defeating the King got rid of the convenient nighttime, unfortunately. But mostly, you’re put out being referred to as ‘one of’ the strangest she had met. Whoever’s on top of that list must be legendary.

Bored with the stars hidden, you turn your attention on the other things in the room. Oh, right, there’s a hat in here. Do you still have an equips menu? There you are. Maybe you can give it to Loop. Start them a hat collection, in their equips, where the loops can’t take it away.

Oh, books.

…Wait, this doesn’t hurt your head at all?

Experimentally, you try to read the words out without translating.

Oh. That’s… that’s super blinding weird. You have to show this to Loop.

You glance up as the world begins to flicker.

Right on time.

-

Half the party goes to the Favor Tree, and half to the Clocktower.

You, hat and cloak unequipped, calmly walk through town, enter the Boulangerie, and get two pan au chocolates. You manage to get the second by saying you really wanted to pick something up for someone else, too.

Waiting until Loop signals all-clear, you check town with a glance, then wander over and put the Familytale in Mirabelle’s abandoned paper stack. Housemaiden’s abandoned things, you mean.

Turning right back around, you go off to meet with Loop.

“You’re good at predicting them.” They say, sitting primly on their root.

You push the other treat into their hands. “Mhm, eat so I can eat mine now.”

They look down at the food, stunned, then it all at once seems to register.

The poor pan au chocolate never stood a chance.

Amused, yours lasts only a little longer, and you sit down on the other root.

“So, how can I help-” Loop clears their throat. “-What’s our plan for this wonderful new loop, stardust?”

“Fair food, stargazing, festivities.” You list off. “And talking. We have plenty to talk about.”

“Ten years is cheating.”

“That stuff, too, but you really have to hear what our language sounds like-”

…

“Do it again.”

Okay.

“I can’t hear it, but I know it.” Loop is equally fascinated at the sensation.

You grin. Words travel through your vocal chords, over your tongue, and cease to exist outside your body again.

You should really give it a shot, it’s fun.

“I don’t… remember how.” They admit.

You consider this.  We can head into the House at some point? Or, wait, there’s a headache book at the library! You can read that to remember.

“...Tomorrow?”

Tomorrow.  You agree happily.

They slouch. “Ugh, the party is surprisingly inconvenient.”

…Let’s talk about something else.

“What happens if you talk to the King like that?”

You grin at each other.

Next loop.

“Next loop.”

…

You point out a few more constellations for Loop to illegally remember. They look over at you, and pause in their rapt attention of your secondhand lesson.

“You’re glowing.”

“What?”

Loop reaches out, and brings some of your hair into your field of view. You blink at it, literally luminous in the darkness.

“You are too.” You point out, now poking at your own hair in bewilderment.

They check themself, startled. “What? Still?”

“Right, we never figured this out.”

Chapter Text

Loop still has lightless star-flecked skin, and the big star on their chest.

Thing is, now you do, too.

“What.”

“I don’t know!” You poke at the mark, and shudder slightly at the sensation.

“How?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did you make a wish?”

“I really blinding didn’t, Loop!” You snap. “I’d remember doing a starfallen ritual! And I was in front of you the whole time!”

They hold up their hands, eyes narrowing.

You take a deep breath. “Didn’t mean to sound like that. Just. Freaking out.”

“You get used to it.” They shrug, looking down and wiggling starry fingers. “...This is… better.”

You look down at your own bare skin, twisting to try and see your back. “Maybe we’re… equalling out? Would this have happened if we… if you stayed? Would it have saved you?”

“I don’t…” Loop trailed off. “It would be nice if the Universe gave a blinding receipt from time to time. Just so we know what starfallen thing we even purchased.”

You laugh dryly. “Stars, if only.”

They start putting on their undershirt again. “At least I get my own blinding clothes this time.”

“Oh, right.”

Loop glances over at you, and you pull the Starry Hat out of your equips. You grin at them.

“I thought it would be funny to start you a hat collection! Here, put it in your equipables, it’ll come with you.”

“...Stardust, you really think of me often, don’t you~”

You snort, handing the hat over to be stashed properly. “I really have no idea where you got the flirty thing from.”

Loop laughs, emotion unreadable. “Teehee~! Don’t flatter yourself.”

“So… star… person… things.” You gesture at the pulsing light in your chest. “Is there anything I should know?”

“Mmmmeh.” They shrug, and busy themself with their new hat, investigating the lining under their own glow.

“I mean, I can do your disappearing thing at will-”

“-You can what.”

You blink at Loop’s sudden proximity.

“I… can hide like you do all the time?” You suppose suddenly evening out must’ve been distracting. “Last loop, I did it in front of the Head Housemaiden. She made a really funny face.”

Loop buries their face in their hands. “...Why are you like this..?”

You just shrug.

Also it’s getting cold. You should probably put your cloak back on.

-

You almost sleep in, but Loop nudges you awake in your little nest in the branches.

“Quiet.”

Rearranging so you’re crouched, you peer down at the ground. The Party is there.

“The orbs didn’t disappear this time, but Siffrin didn’t appear either…” The Researcher mused as they searched the roots. “When we reach the house, will this ‘Stardust’ have beaten the King again?”

Loop shoots you a look. You shrug sheepishly.

“Well… what else do we do?” Fighter reasoned. “If we take too much time looking, we might not make it to the top at all, if ‘Stardust’ isn’t here this time.”

“But we have to find Frin!” The Kid protests.

“We also have to pin down ‘Stardust’.” Researcher adds. “They aren’t consistent. They know something.”

Your lips press together in bitter amusement.

[Don’t you dare laugh]

(I’m not! I wasn’t!) 

[Uhuh.]

You watch them investigate the surroundings.

[So, giving away a particular nickname, are we?]

(If they call me Siffrin I will probably break my craft on the spot.)

Loop draws back slightly. [Like… that?]

(Maybe. Listen, it’s the only nickname I like that isn’t half ‘Siffrin’)

[Awe, Stardust~!]

You duck into your collar. (I can feel you using capitalization shut up.)

They giggle at you over the line as you wait for the party to get a move on.

…

Eventually, they leave. You’re pretty sure they don’t have the time to make it all the way through, but you don’t particularly care.

“So, do we just… show up?” Loop asks. They seem nervous.

“Well, we do need to not be mistaken for a saviour.” You hum.

They look down at their distinctive darkless cloak. “...I can't believe you got my hopes up, Stardust.”

You snort. “Um- you don’t have to take it all the way off, look-”

You take yours off to demonstrate, and flip it, putting it back on with the lining-side out. It’s now a dark item of clothing with light marks here and there, outer pockets, and equally light stitching.

“See? You can still wear it.”

They copy you. “...Done this often, then?”

You look away, waving a hand. “Eh… I wasn’t… I’m not great with strangers, and every time we went to a town, I’m the most recognizable. I’d get mobbed.”

Loop winces in sympathy. “Ah. So..?”

“Isa’s suggestion, actually. He wanted to make me a new cloak, but I didn’t want that.” You rub the fabric of your collar between your fingers. “I didn’t have my hat, so I was just a weird person with really, really light hair. Sometimes the eyepatch would give me away, but not often.”

Loop touches their patch. “...But Dormont has seen your face.”

You nod glumly. “Going and getting pan au chocolate may have been a little bit of an oops.”

“Stardust…” They hesitated, then made a face. “I want to call you stupid, but I also want you to get pan au chocolate again for us.”

You laugh once. “Yeah. It was worth it.”

They roll their eye, then pull at their patch. “Well, now we can’t wear these. Do you have something else to cover with-?”

They paused at the look on your face.

“Stardust?”

You snap out of your surprise. “Oh, um, you don’t have to cover. You have two eyes.”

They poke at their eyelid, startled. “-Oh. That’s convenient.”

“Can you see out of it?” You’ve been curious ever since you figured out who they were.

“...A little.” They turn their attention on you. “Patch off, let’s see the damage.”

You grimace at the choice of words, and pull yours off.

“...Huh.”

“Is it bad?” You check, suddenly self-conscious.

Loop considers it, tilting their head. “Well, it’s not a normal eye. Whatever, you can get prosthetics in all sorts of shades nowadays~ Patch stays off.”

“Alright?” You slip it into one of your pockets, having to remember they’re on the outside of your cloak right now. “What does it look like?”

They lean in, analyzing it. “Well, the part that should be light is lightless, your eye color is now light, and you have- is that a star? In the middle.”

This sparks a memory. You cringe.

“What?” Loop raises a brow.

“It’s… It’s what my eyes looked like when I, um. Did the thing. I asked.”

They squint at you for a moment, before it clicks. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” You look away, touching the skin under it, and feeling the slightly uneven surface of a scar.

“Well, it looks good on you.” They decide. “Are we done now? Let’s go.”

“Hold on.” You take a string out of a pocket, and step forwards.

Loop stiffens slightly in confusion as you reach up. You scoop their hair backwards, finger-combing it a little, and use the fuse to tie their long bangs into a small ponytail.

“There.” You step back, satisfied. “Now you look different enough even with the hat. You could equip the starry hat, too, if you want.”

The hat switches out without another word, and Loop gingerly pats their hair.

“Ready?”

“Ah, yes. Lead the way, Stardust~”

“Alright, here we go.” You grab their hand, and pull them along.

“Stardust, slow down!”

“You said lead the way, Loop!”

Chapter Text

You get a few comments on how you look a lot like one of the saviours, but you’re otherwise left to celebrate in peace.

You and Loop make up for missing breakfast with a lot of finger foods.

Even after ten years, you’re still not a fan of crowds, so the both of you are over at the edge of the event, enjoying the music. Loop managed to get a bottle of something alcoholic, and then drank it all, and they don’t even seem buzzed.

They seem… disappointed about that.

After a moment of thought, you drag them over to someone else with a bottle and initiate a drinking contest. Other drinks will pop up in a moment, it’s a rule. People love a faceoff.

…

“Ah~” Loop giggles, finally tipsy after seven bottles. You are surrounded by people that are too drunk to move. You think the Fashionable One passed out sitting up. Terrifying.

“We could make some serious money off you with betting.” You tell them, stunned.

They giggle again. “No time~”

“Huh?”

Loop gestures at the edge of town.

You watch the darkness eat up the grass. It went a little slower than walking pace out around the edges, but it’s here, and, well, it’s the last place. You have seconds.

“Well.” You sigh. “Strike a pose.”

You promptly do a scissors sign and make a silly face. Loop giggles, and mirrors you.

“Here’s to a fun loop~!”

“Here, here.”

Then it reaches you, and everything stops.

…

..

.

You blink. 

You blink again. Same result, for an impossible action.

Turning your head, you look at Loop. It seems like they’re frozen, lightless with lack of time, except- 

Are you… pretending to be frozen?

Loop’s light-on-lightless eyes flick in your direction, star blazing on their chest despite their layers. You glance down to find a matching marking on yours.

Shh movin’s against th’ rules~!

Oh. My bad.

Reeling slightly but now amused, you resume your pose.

It’s… fascinating, really. You’ve never been anywhere frozen except the House. Crossing the curse is stupidly dangerous, one wrong step and it keeps you. But it already has you, and you’re safe somehow, and oh, is that a bird in mid-flight?

Wait.

Hold on, are you drunk enough you remember how to speak our language???

Shhhhhhhhush. Yer frozen. Frozen people don’ talk, Stardus’~

Right.  You muffle a laugh. You’re teasing them later. 

…

It takes about five minutes for drunk-Loop to get bored of being ‘frozen’ and start wandering around. You follow, checking on the margin between the curse and the House every once in a while. The Party doesn’t have a lot of time before it catches up. You wonder if they’ll even make it to the King beforehand, what with all the time they wasted this morning.

In any case, you’re enjoying Loop declaring clouds, rocks, random birds, and a sheep their ‘third favorite thing’, the first two being the sun, and food.

What about me?  You ask curiously.

They turn, give you a long look, then whip around and point at the shrub they’d just indicated.

You are d’moted t’ fourth.

Awwe~ You knew they cared. You try not to laugh, because you know you’ll be demoted too if Loop decides to be mean. 

You both look up as the House flashes with the King’s opener-

-And you sit up in a bright field of grass.

What.

What?!

You know you don’t trigger the loops here by being frozen, but-

What.

Why did that happen? You know they should be able to survive-

Unless they didn’t.

Unless you’ve severely overestimated how far they’d gotten.

Unless-

[Stardust, are you running or not?!]

You flinch, and disappear.

[That works, I guess.]

Housemaiden appears on the path, but she’s… wobbly.

You remember the first time the King killed you with sudden clarity. It hurt. It hurt so much more than anything else you’ve ever felt.

She’s breathing hard as she reaches your starting spot and collapses to her knees, crying. You’re. You’re right there, in front of her. You should have- should have left.

(...Loop?)

[...Yes, Stardust?]

(We… we need to talk to them at some point.)

[Mnoo.]

(Loop.)

[Stardust.]

(The Housemaiden is acting like she’s never been hit by the opener before. She’s crying.)

[...But she isn’t ours.]

(Yes, but the only way we got out the first time was by talking…)

You hear an exasperated grunt. [Fine, but I’m not-]

(Loop, if I have to do this on my own, I will blow up the House and maybe the world.)

[Fine. And you think I’m dramatic.]

(We are equally dramatic.) You reply in your primmest voice, getting a startled laugh.

Then you let yourself come back into existence.

The Housemaiden doesn’t notice, her head is bowed. Ugh, you’re going to have to initiate the conversation.

“First time’s the worst.” You try.

She startles so badly she ends up on her butt, staring up at you, shocked out of tears.

You decide to continue. “It just. Lingers in your bones. You wouldn’t think that much pain could come back with you, but then, you have to remember you took continent-level Time Craft to the face. So, first time’s always the worst, because you don’t have a good pain threshold yet.”

She just. Stares.

“Good talk.” You’re not cut out for this.

You walk around her, and down the path.

“Wa-wait! Si-”

You whip around. “If you call me Siffrin I am never appearing again.”

Her mouth snaps shut.

“Great. Meet us under the Favor Tree in… an hour?” You shrug. “Grab everyone, I guess.”

You walk sideways off the path into the woods.

(Loop? Anyone near the Tree?)

…

Neither of you want to do this. Not in the slightest.

But it’s going to get really annoying if you avoid them. Eat into both of your schedules. You’re barely willing to work with them, sometimes, maybe.

So you need to do this. Once.

You both reluctantly watch the Party come down the path and stop under the tree.

“...So? Where is he, then, Mirabelle.” Researcher demanded, unimpressed.

“They said they’d meet us here! I swear!” She protested.

“Are you sure you weren’t seeing-”

“Hallucinations aren’t fun, I agree.” You say from behind them all.

You take some joy in how they all fall over each other to face you, beyond startled.

“You’re early.” You tell Housemaiden in faint disapproval.

“I’m? Sorry???”

“Sif-!”

Apparently the look on your face is enough to make Fighter go silent.

“So.” Researcher starts, “You remember.”

“I’d blinding hope so~!”

The Party startles again, turning around to face your mirror of a self.

“After all.” Loop growls, “You took us away~!”

“Wh-what’s-”

“Two???”

They look between you rapidly, your calm frown and Loop’s angry smile.

Chapter Text

“What loop are you on?” You ask, before anything goes much farther.

“Um-”

“Thirty-two.” Fighter tells you almost shyly.

“Thirty-two?!” Loop repeats in utter disbelief. “Thirty-two.”

“I- I know it’s a lot-” Housemaiden starts-

“It only takes thirty-two for you to get this desperate? Oh, my, stars.” Loop turns around and kicks a rock, sending it into the woods.

“Wow.” You agree. “I only started getting restless around loop seventy-something. How about you,” Loop?

“I don’t even know.” They laugh. “I lost count, remember,” Stardust? “I don’t even remember my early loops.”

You turn your attention back to the Housemaiden. She shudders under your stare.

“We aren’t yours, if you were wondering.” You inform all of them conversationally. “You stole us. We’re a set that got out of this, escaped already.”

“You put us back in this starfallen place~!” Loop laughs. “Encore, encore, the Universe blinding loves a good show~! Teehee~!”

“Si- you- uh.” Fighter stutters, “How-how did we steal you?”

“Wishcraft~!”
“Wishcraft.”

You both lift your heads at their confusion.

“Oh, I see you haven’t gotten that far.”
“Oh, they’re so new~! Teehee~!”

You share a look, and you resignedly clear your throat, crossing your arms.

“Wishcraft is invoked through rituals and want. It can do many, many things, whether or not you mean for it to.” You roll your eyes. “Ergo, we’re accusing you of wishing us here.”

“‘Someone to save us’, ‘a way to get out’, ‘answers’, … ‘a Siffrin that remembers’.” Loop lists acidly.

Multiple Party members flinch.

“I see we have our culprits.” You note. 

“Oooh, I see~ exit Siffrin, stage left, enter Understudies.”

“What happened to our Siffrin, then?” Researcher demands.

You both shrug. “How would we know?” “This isn’t our fault.”

“Are you going to help us?” Housemaiden asks hopefully.

You look her dead in the eye. “I already did my part. When we finally tore my loop open, it took me years to stop panicking at the scent of burning sugar. It took me longer to stop letting myself get injured because I couldn’t feel pain correctly anymore.”

“...Years?” She whispers.

“It’s been a decade.” You bare your teeth. “We’re retired, and you aren’t our responsibility.”

“They’re telling you to get blinding stuffed.” Loop translates. “We’re unwillingly on vacation.”

So saying, you both turn and leave.

“Pan au chocolate?” Loop suggests.

You bump them with your shoulder. “I thought you said you can’t read my mind.”

“Oh, shut up.” They shove you away playfully.

…

You take the usual stuff, since the Party is distracted, but this time you manage to get Loop to come with.

The Sadnesses don’t stand a chance.

You pick up a few books from the hidden library to read when you take breaks. You also grab some blankets and pillows, because why not?

The two of you settle in the stargazing room, surrounded by books and maps, in a nest of soft things. You find constellations until you fall asleep.

-

“Hey. Hey. Um. Other guy.”

You stir, blinking up at infinity, before turning your gaze reluctantly to the side.

It’s Fighter. The rest of them are standing back. Good, they don’t want to talk to you.

You fix him with a stare.

What do you want.

He winces. “Wh-what?”

You stand, and raise your voice.

What do you want.

The lot of them falter at the sudden-onset headache. You figure that’s enough.

“I said, what do you blinding want.” You translate, accent still very strong.

“...You opened up the wrong wall of tears.” Fighter mumbles.

“It doesn’t matter if we use the right one.” You cross your arms. “The blinding Change God knows we aren’t supposed to be here, so it doesn’t give us the Knifekey. Keyknife. Whatever.”

“So we’re stuck if you decide to come up first?”

You snort. “No, of course not.” Loop “-likes to set the stuff on fire.”

Digging in your bag, you take out your flint and steel, and toss them onto the table.

“Now go away.” You curl back up. “And take a while on your snack break, if you don’t mind. We’re enjoying ourselves.”

“Vaugarde is being frozen!” Housemaiden protests.

“You have at least another five hours.” You dismiss cozily. “Rushing your loops just makes you go insane faster.”

The Party stares at you.

You make a ‘shoo’ gesture, and turn over so Loop’s on your blind side.

“Don’t die on the first strike again, please. It’s annoying.”

“If the real Frin were here, he wouldn’t crabbing say that.”

You pause, then sit up again, leaning so you see around the desk.

“If your Siffrin were here, he’d be blaming himself for all this. Ten years ago I was deeply depressed, Kid.”

They glower at you. “The real Frin would help.”

“I am helping.” You hiss. “I’ve left all your answers out in plain sight at least twice. You lot just want someone to do it for you.”

None of them meet your eye.

You lie back down. “Housemaiden.”

She flinches and nearly drops the book you throw at her.

“Actually read it this time.” You recommend in a scathing tone.

“O-okay.”

“Do you treat your Mirabelle like this?” Fighter demands.

You’re upright and crouched on the desk in front of him before he has time to blink, in his face.

“My Mirabelle? My Mira read the book in the first place!” You snarl. “All I had to do was find where it was and she skimmed it and suddenly everything was much easier! My Mira ISN’T BLINDING HERE!”

She flinches as you turn to face her.

“Instead I have to deal with the Housemaiden. With all of you. Because you kidnapped us.”

“Si-”

Your hand is planted firmly over Fighter’s mouth before he can complete the syllable.

“If any of you call me Siffrin, or Sif, or Frin…” You say darkly, “I am fully capable of turning the House into a pile of rubble. I probably won’t even do it on purpose.”

“...That’s quite a claim.”

“Oh, Researcher~!” Loop croons, sitting up. “They aren’t kidding. You really should have seen their final loop~! I believe the word is… apocalyptic?”

You look away, slightly embarrassed. “...My craft is… rather unfortunately linked to my emotional state.”

“You aren’t ours. You don’t get to call us what our families do~!”

“Now go away.” You slide off the desk and sit in your spot. “We’re busy.”

“Bye~!” Loop waves cheerily. “Don’t hurry back~!”

…

“Not that I’m accusing you of anything, Stardust, but you seem especially venomous about being here. More than I am. Why?”

You twitch slightly.

“I mean, ten years is a lot, yes…” They trail off, not seeming to know what to say.

“Siffrin.”

“...I don’t go by that anymore, Stardust-”

You shake your head, facing them. “No, you don’t understand. We’re here.”

“Oh-kay..?”

“Siffrin isn’t.”

What little darkness their face had drains, leaving them the same luminous, darkless shade as their hair.

“They got rid of us.” They whisper, horrified.

You nod silently, eye burning.

“Stars above, how are you being so nice about it, Stardust?”

“Therapy does wonders. You should try it.”

Loop swats you. You fend them off semi-playfully, still subdued.

Chapter Text

There’s a flash and a rumble. Then, in a couple minutes, another.

*

You sit up in the meadow. Didn’t catch the second one, did they.

Getting up, you stare down the path. But the Housemaiden doesn’t come. Good.

You stroll into town, ignoring how the Housemaiden and Researcher stare at you, shaken, and continue your path towards the Favor Tree. The Fighter watches you walk past, but doesn’t call out.

You sit down on your root, opposite Loop’s, and sigh. They drop out of the tree, landing neatly on theirs, and sit down, too.

“So~! What are we doing this wonderful new loop~?” They chirp, not looking away from you.

The Fighter, still in his starting position, seems discomforted by being completely ignored.

“I’m not sure. You think the Fishing One has two spare rods?” You speculate.

“There aren’t fish anymore.”

“So you weren’t watching that time I actually caught one.” You grin.

Loop leans forwards. “You actually caught one?!”

“Yep. Tossed it back, but a fish was in fact caught. Startled me so much I still remember.”

“What are you waiting for?! First one to catch the fish wins!”

They lunge, grabbing your hand, and drag you with them as they make tracks. Both of you don’t look at the Fighter on the way past. You don’t want to see his expression.

…

The Fishing One only had one spare rod, but they seemed very pleased that both of you were interested, and let Loop hold theirs, folding their hands and watching.

As always, the activity is calming. You haven’t gotten to do it in a while, you’d forgotten what it was like.

Probably the only source of discomfort is how you’re aware of eyes on your back. The party has gathered around the Housemaiden’s bench, and is watching you. You’re trying to ignore it, but you’re just far enough away that you can hear them talking, but not what about.

Loop gets fed up at almost the same time, you find, as the both of you turn at once to glare.

The party goes quiet.

As the nearest to the route, you point in the direction of the Clocktower very deliberately with your free hand.

-Your attention is caught by a gasp as Loop’s line jerks, and they whirl back around to reel it in. The Fishing One happily gives advice on how to keep the fish on the line.

Loop is left with a dripping, silvery prize. They stare at it, wide-eyed, then turn to face you wearing the same bewildered expression.

“You win, Lu.” You confirm.

“I win!” They laugh, sounding at once flabbergasted and gleeful.

The Fishing One is ecstatic, and the three of you carefully unhook the creature, and let it back into the water. A flash of scales and it’s gone.

“Good job!” They tell you.

Loop is almost literally glowing with pride. You smile, even though you lost, because they’re so happy and it doesn’t feel like a loss at all. You should lose to them more often.

-

You don’t even bother being sneaky about grabbing the orbs. You just walk in and rifle around until you have them all. They watch you take them, having breakfast, the Researcher looking like she wants to comment.

“Talk to the Boulangarie's daughter about the book she’s reading next loop.” You say, leaving.

“Okay?” Fighter calls after you.

…

The party catches up with you and Loop on the second floor.

Loop absentmindedly tosses them the library’s key. “Cheers~!”

The both of you return to bending over the wishcraft ritual book, pointing out different things.

Wishing on stars? Do you think I counted?

Who knows, Loop. Do both of us count as stars?

Let’s give it a shot.

Eh?

Loop turns towards you and clasps their hands, smiling evilly.

“Oh- no, no, don’t you blinding dare-” You scoot away.

A bit more height, a bit more height, a bit more height.

It feels like you got a static shock for a moment, and your hair crackles slightly, frizzing.

“Lu, why.” You complain.

“Stand up, I want to see if it worked!” They grab your arm and drag you up with them.

You stand next to each other. Loop looks down at you.

“Oh, you absolute starfallen-” You start, jabbing a finger at them.

Loop cackles. “I’m taller than you now!”

“-so many things you could use that for-”

“How’s the weather down there~?”

“-and you decide to wish for ten centimeters.”

Loop laughs harder, bending over. They nearly lose their hat.

“I’m going to kick you in the blinding shins.” You fume, fighting off a grin.

“Haa- if you can reach~!”

“I’m going to climb you like the blinding Favor Tree and we’ll both be ground level.”

“Try it- AH NO WAIT I WAS JOKING-”

Loop flails, but your weight isn’t enough to knock them over, even when you settle on their shoulders. They pause.

“...Have we always been this light?”

“Hm. Maybe we need to eat more.” You speculate, still perched and keeping their hat from falling off.

Loop considers. “Pan au Chocolate.”

“Pan au Chocolate.” You agree.

“Can I try wishing for one?” Is… Loop okay? They normally wouldn’t risk it, right?

“I’m not sure the wish will actually turn out as expected.” You hop down, crossing your arms as you have to look up again. “Best not to risk something convoluted like that. Besides, You used my Craft to get your ridiculous centimeters. I’m tired.”

There’s a slight cough, and your gazes turn towards the party.

“What?” Loop asks. “You have the key. You can blinding go now.”

“There might be useful books down here. Such as that one.” Researcher indicates the wishcraft book.

Loop snorts violently. “Of course~! Teehee~!”

You shake your head, unamused. “There are no other books worth wasting time on if you’re actively attempting to break the loop. But sure. Here.”

You hold the book out.

The Researcher takes it, opens it, and promptly drops it on the ground.

“Ha~!” Loop giggles to themself. “Don’t abuse books, dear Researcher~! Shame on you~!”

“Only natives can read Lost.” You inform her. “And only if a suitable sacrifice is given.”

“Quite cruel of the Universe to take more just to let us read our native language~!” Loop looks into space. “Cruel indeed.”

“...So, we’re trapped, then?”

Loop was distracted, staring at the floor, so you spoke up again.

“Well, yes. Unless a different one of you made a wish that isn’t fulfilled, we’re all trapped.”

“What do you mean???” Housemaiden asked, pensive.

You.

You’re too angry to speak for a second.

Deep breath. In… out…

They noticed, though you keep your face pleasant again, all of them tense and ready to back away.

You, for the first time, smile at their presence. It’s the same one you wore during your own loops. You kept it because it’s surprisingly easy to scare strangers off with.

“You got rid of him.” You chirp. “You removed Siffrin. You abandoned him to the Universe’s mercy.”

You step forwards. They step back. Out of the corner of your eye you can see sparks snapping off you, like when Loop’s star form got mad. It feels like your entire body is full of static, prickling.

“Wishing someone away is the worst thing you could do. That anyone could- He was your family.” Something rolls down your cheek. You’re crying. “And you think we- we-”

Hands close around your upper arms. You look up at Loop, going silent.

“I’m afraid we won’t be working with you, Siffrin’s party~” They freed a hand to do a scathingly sarcastic gesture near their face, smiling widely. “We don’t help betrayers, you see~! Teehee~!”

“It hurts.” You whimper.

“-Hey- hey now, you’re the one that got to do therapy! Hold it together-” Loop immediately switches to panic.

You close your eyes and breathe. “...Have you ever gotten to see the orrery room?”

“Only through your perspective, Ss-” Stardust!

“I’m going to show you the orrery room. It’s neat. Let’s go.”

“Sounds good~!”

Chapter Text

Loop loved the orrery room. They played with the orrery for ages. You’re pretty sure they started trying to figure out what the loops were doing with the rotation of the planet, scrolling it up to the date you gave and moving it back and forth in increments.

You curl up with the book with a star on the cover, reading it out loud so you both can enjoy it.

“So, wait, they did it on purpose?” Loop giggles incredulously.

“Yup. You know, this book is actually part of how I realized.” You reflect wryly. “The thought of another of yourself… and a bit of time so you can actually look back at suspicious behaviour clearly.” 

“Suspicious! Oh, I’m wounded, Stardust.”

“You aren’t actually subtle, Loop.” You grin.

“Ten years is cheating.” They pout at you.

“It is.” You agree, amused, setting down the book and grabbing a starmap to look at. “And so is specifically wishing to be taller than me.”

“You haven’t undone it~!”

“I’m not going to, but the fact remains… it’ll get undone next loop.”

“Boo.”

You stick out your tongue at them, and go back to reading. The clicking of the orrery is a pleasant backdrop to other tasks. Familiar. …Probably suspiciously familiar, given you never touched the thing.

There’s a wooden sound. Everything shudders a few steps to the side and back. There’s a thump as Loop falls over.

“What in the-”

“Equipment can’t be in two places at once.” You tell your map, amused. “You’re wearing the hat already, it can’t be in the drawer.”

“What.”

“Universe self-correcting. Ignore it.”

“WHAT.”

“Loop, it happens all the time, I did it like one-twice a loop in ours?”

“SHOW ME AGAIN.”

You shrug, and sit up. “Alright, uh… I’m not sure any of the other equipment spots are accessible from here, hold on… …Alright, next loop, then.” 

*

You sit up, then stand, a little bemused.

[Did they even get to the King?]

(I think it might’ve been the floor sadness?) You guess, unsure. 

You start walking, again ignoring the looks the party gave. The Fighter was coming back from the direction of the Favor Tree and nervously stood aside so you didn’t even have to walk around him.

Loop met you at the tree as per usual. “So, what is our plan for this wonderful new loop, Stardust?”

You smile. “Well, you wanted to watch the Universe rewind again, so I thought we’d go look at where all the equips are found. By any chance do you remember what the Stylish One needs to hear to give up the bow?”

They stared at you.

“Next loop for the bow, then.” You decide.

You both stand, and you slowly tip your head up.

“You’re blinding kidding me.”

Loop starts cackling. “I’m still taller~!”

…

The Researcher comes out of the Boulangarie’s shop. You pause.

The both of you stare at each other.

“...Where’s the other one?”

“Going in as unexpected identical twins would be mean.” You tell her flatly.

“The blunt one.” She mutters to herself.

“Did you get the book you were looking for?”

She hesitates. “I…”

You watch her, brows furrowed, before figuring it out. “Oh. Hold on.” She isn’t awesome with strangers, or strangers’ kids, or strangers that are kids.

You slip past her and go through the whole song and dance to get two pan au chocolates, then inquire about the familytale from the child, all smiles. Real smiles, you actually appreciate these people for all you never even once knew their names. 

Exiting again, you shove the familytale into the Researcher’s hands, and walk off to present Loop with your mutual treat. You don’t look back.

You are not part of this, not for her.

…

Loop is absolutely fascinated with the Universe fixing itself up every time it re-makes a mistake.

You’ve hit the kitchen, forge, and every other spot up to the second floor. You’re tempted to thaw the tears on the wrong side, but that’d mean you don’t get to play with the star rooms this loop. You even grabbed more books and bedding to carry up, you’d run today’s plans.

A good chunk of the spots actually did contain their items, unfortunately, so this tour is going to happen again next loop just to give the satisfaction.

You leave the non-Siffrin equips in the snack room on the way to the third floor, neatly sorted.

…

“It’s unfair you get to be taller.” You tell Loop, put out, as they read over your shoulder.

“Make your own wish, Stardust~!”

“Fine, I will!”

You set your gaze on their smug pose.

Faster and higher, faster and higher, faster and higher.

“Really, faster?” They raise a brow as craft crackles and fizzes off them.

“That was always my choice at the change god statu-ooooh stars-”

Loop catches you as you pitch forwards. 

There’s an awful pressure, you can’t breathe- tight- something’s cracking- tearing-

FWAP.

Loop lets out a yelp as you nearly hit them in the face. Dazed, you go limp, panting for breath.

Gingerly, they poke at the slightly sparkly-bloody wings splayed out around you.

“...Perhaps you should have been more clear.”

“Owww…” You whine, burying your face in pained mortification.

“Faster and higher, Stardust~”

“...Blind you, Loop…” You’re not sure how to feel about this.

“You almost did~ I saw wings flash before my eyes.”

“Ughhhh…” You suppose, unlike a bigger wish, you can just let it go if you don’t want to keep them. 

…

The party doesn’t bother you this time, thankfully.

You’re bundled up in a blanket, still recovering from being ‘gifted’ wings. They’re tucked up under your cloak, and it feels so weird. The books were abandoned, and now you’re both napping. Loop was drained of craft, and, well. Your wings.

You really shouldn’t have been playing with wishing on a star person.

Live and learn, you suppose.

*

You sit up in the field, still a little sore, but cleaned of blood. You’re not sure why your blood sparkled in the first place, you’re going to have to follow up on that at some point.

Experimentally, you unfurl them again, shivering at the raw, new feeling of the limbs, and give a couple flaps.

…You’re not getting in the air like that, put some want into it.

“Into the sky, into the sky, into the sky-” You scrunch your eyes closed, beating your wings faster and faster, a ringing sound slowly getting louder.

Your feet leave the ground.

You squeak, veer off-course, and crash into a tree trunk.

…You can hear Loop cackling over the line.

(Let’s see you do better.) You snip, brushing yourself off and spreading your wings for another try. Maybe if you use the shorter ones only?

[Oh, Stardust, I wouldn’t rob you of being faster and higher than me~!]

(Oh, shush.)

This try goes much better, though you’re still half-dangling and very wobbly. You try to sort out your other limbs, hovering.

…This is actually pretty cool.

Putting a burst of effort into it, you zip upwards and spiral wildly. Nothing to hit when you’re above the treeline!

When your smaller wings start to burn, you flick out your larger set.

…This doesn’t go well.

Flapping rapidly apparently doesn’t work with bigger wings. You learn this as you hurtle towards the ground in an uncontrollable spin.

Oh stars oh stars oh stars-

WHAM.

…

Poke.

You groan, and lift your head.

It’s that sky-loving kid from town. They jump back slightly, startled that you’d moved.

“Oh, stars.” You put your face back on the ground.

“Are you from the sky???”

“...Sure.”

You realize your wings are still out, splayed. You pull them back in, wincing.

“Woah…” The child gapes at you, eyes sparkling. “Can- can you fly?”

“I’m not very good at it.” You admit playfully, sitting up stiffly and probing at a new bruise you’re pretty sure covers the entire upper left of your face.

“Oh! That sucks. Do you need a healer?”

“I’m okay!” You smile, and snap your fingers, activating Craft. “See? All good.”

They gape at you, eyes sparkling even more as your bruise clears up and some of the aching goes away. “So cool.”

…

You’re not entirely sure how you ended up invited to sit with the children.

Eventually, Loop comes over, and the kids look between them and you with confusion.

“...Can I join?”

“Can you fly, too?” The Sky-loving kid demands excitedly.

“They can sparkle!” You provide mischievously.

Loop sighs, then narrows their eyes in concentration. Their hair fizzles, sparking slightly for a moment.

“Woah.” The Wizard-loving kid is enthralled. “Can you do anything else?!”

(Poof!) You suggest.

Loop looks between the children nervously, then vanishes.

“WOAH!”

“Cool!”

Loop pops back into existence, a little flustered. “Cool?”

“Cool!” The kids agree again, and move around so they can sit next to you.

They sit down.

There’s a beat.

“So, Stardust, nice landing~!”

“Oh shush, the ground got in my way.”

Loop laughs at you in person this time.

Chapter Text

You’re wandering the house when something catches your eye on the other side of a barrier of Tears. There’s not supposed to be a Sadness over there, and something’s moving. What is it?

“...Stardust?”

You’ve already used the Crest for this floor. So either you can try and force your way through, or…

Your wings pop up.

“Stardust-”

“Be right back-”

You beat your wings as quickly as you can, angling yourself forwards.

You leave the ground so fast you nearly veer into a wall. The bricks blur past, too fast-

Thwack-

You hit the ground, another body under you, and look down into an incredibly startled face identical to your own, except-

The darkened copy evaporates, leaving you sprawled on the floor alone.

You furl your wings again, disoriented, and sit up.

“What was that about?!” Loop yells from the hall.

You jog back to the wall of Tears. “Loop- Loop there was someone-”

“What?” 

You pause. You don’t think it was your… nothing of yours but you and Loop are here, the Change God doesn’t even recognize you and you’re even fairly mentally stable! It wasn’t- yours. Not you.

“Loop… I think I saw Siffrin.”

“...That isn’t funny, Stardust.”

You shake your head. “No, Loop, I flew into him. He was solid. He’s here.”

You stare at each other.

“-I’ll go look down the other halls.” Loop quickly asserts.

“I’ll wait here, in case he reappears.” You agree, scanning the hall behind you.

“Stars above!” You hear Loop in the distance as they sprint off. “I need a speed wish, too!”

“You can try that next time!” You yell, before darting the other way to check in the infirmary.

Oh, they never collected the items from over here either.

“Siffrin?” You ask the air as you swipe those into your equips for the moment.

You look around, sitting on one of the beds. “It’s okay, we’re here to help you.”

Nothing.

You close your eyes.

“You can probably tell, but yes, we’re you. I didn’t mean to crash into you, by the way, I’m just not great at flying yet.”

Nothing.

 You get up, and open the door to the hall.

“We’re here to help you.” You repeat. “Come on. I know this is… startling… but hiding isn’t going to make it better.”

Silence.

You sigh. “...We run away a lot, don’t we.”

…

You searched all the way up to the top, but no luck.

“...Bright Ones…”

“Shut up, you blinder.” Loop snaps. “We’re busy.”

You lift up another hank of hair and look under. “...I feel like this is a sign of desperation.”

“Well, we’ve looked everywhere else!”

“We haven’t looked past him.”

You both side-eye the King.

You walk up to him, and point to the side. “Move, we need to get around you.”

“......What are you looking for..?”

“The unfortunate third member of our unnatural triplets~!” 

“Ah… I have not seen a third Bright One…”

“He’s a Dark One right now.” You supply.

“...I have only seen you here…”

“Blinding stars.” Loop swears, and kicks the wall.

“Move, so we can go check behind you.”

“...I can freeze you… keep you safe…”

You make eye contact, and punch a Tear. 

…

You blink once as you come back up to speed, and spread your arms, unimpressed.

“He looks like this right now. Get out of the way so we can look behind you.” Your voice sounds very strange coming out of a frozen throat, accent extra thick and getting multiple tones.

“...You are not frozen.”

“We’re partly immune. Move.”

He leans to the side, and does as requested, awkward as his size gets in the way.

You tug at Loop, and you both walk past, having to make big steps over cords of darkless hair.

“....Do you remember, Bright Ones?”

“The island is volcanic and gets very cold at night.” You say as you escape out the doors.

“Wait-! Come back, Bright Ones! Please!”

You both ignore him. It’s rather cathartic.

…There’s no one up here but the Head Housemaiden.

“Stars above.” Loop groans.

You look over the side. “...If I practice flying, I can check the roof?”

“Do it.” They walk over and consider the frozen Head Housemaiden. “I’ve never been up here before anyway.”

You spread your smaller wings, and launch. Maybe you can figure out how to use the big ones this time.

…Oh, wow, stars…

You should fly at night again, it’s beautiful…

…

The party managed to get past the King. The sky suddenly cleared, daytime reinstating itself in an instant. 

Your wings instinctively snap out flat, and you frantically rub your eyes, completely blinded.

Then you panic because you stopped flapping…

…But you aren’t falling?

After rubbing the brights out of your eyes, you look back over your shoulder at how your big wings are out. It’s like you’re being supported by the air itself. So that’s how you use them.

Gingerly, you tilt them, and your stomach lurches slightly with unfamiliarity as you begin to turn into a wide curve.

…This is nice, actually.

You should probably track down some books on how things fly. You feel like you’d benefit from it. Instead of crash-landing every single blinding time.

Have you ever landed right?

Whuh-oh, you might be in trouble…

Looking around, you find you got pretty far away from the House. You’d gone in a straight line when blinded. Your gentle turn was taking you back around… slowly.

(Loop?)

[Why did you never mention the Head Housemaiden is nice???]

(...It seemed less pressing than her lines giving me nightmares. Are you having fun?)

[I! Don’t like talking to people!]

(Do what I did. Jump off the side and stab your knife into the brickwork until the loop restarts.)

[Where are you?]

(Look to the… right, off the balcony? I’m coming around.)

[Why are you all the way over there???]

(It got very bright very suddenly and I couldn’t see.)

[What do I do???]

(Step behind something and disappear. Works every time.)

*

You walk into Dormont, and make a beeline for the library.

Just because the loop landed you safely doesn’t mean you don’t want to learn to do it yourself.

[I want to wish for speed, Stardust, get over here.]

(Give me a little while. Trying to find a bird book.)

[Bird book?]

(It’s more likely to tell me how flight works than a bug book.)

[Fair enough, I suppose. Hurry up.]

Chapter Text

“I get to wish on you back. Make it even.” You say as you arrive, sitting across from Loop.

“Oh? What are you going to wish for, Stardust?” They seem curious.

“If I could tell whether Siffrin was actually there or not, we wouldn’t have had to search the entire building.” You reason. “And I was blinded entirely by the King’s night going away. So something to do with my senses?”

“You go first, then.”

You look up from your books in surprise. “Oh, are you sure?”

They make an inviting gesture, cocking their head. “Go for it, Stardust~!”

“Alright then.”

You concentrate.  Sense the unseen, sense the unseen, sense the unseen.

“Seems like a safe wording.” Loop agrees as their craft reacts, sparking off them.

“Augh! Everything tickles!” You shake your head violently for a moment as you get used to it, eyes scrunched shut.

“Let me see?”

You rub at your face, blink at them, then jerk backwards and look up, eyes wide.

“Stardust???”

“.........I just made myself see color.” You manage. “The tree is… I don’t know any of the words for this. We should go find the color theory book again.”

“Oh stars. Does it hurt?”

“Not… really? I think I’m just not used to it.”

You turn your face back down, blinking at them. Loop leans forwards slightly to inspect you.

“...I think there’s color in your eyes now. I’m not sure what any of the words are either.”

“Does it look nice?” You ask.

They consider you. “...Sure. My turn.”

“Go ahead.” You stretch out your arms.

They pause to word it.

Strong and fast, strong and fast, strong and fast.

“You sure about that one? Asking for two things kinda backfired last time.” You point out as you crackle and fizz.

“It’ll be fi-oooh.”

Their legs give out, and they fall off their root with a disoriented thump. 

“Loop?!”

“Ah- ach-” They clutch at their head, whining.

You hurriedly get off your root and huddle down next to them. “Let me see, let me see-”

A pause.

“....Want to go annihilate Sadnesses?”

“Oh stars how bad is it-”

…

You watch Loop turn the nearest Sadness into jelly, their tail whipping behind them in rage.

Yes. Tail.

Apparently being stronger and faster than they already were means they get extras, too. They refuse to take off their shoes, but you’re pretty sure their feet aren’t fitting in them quite right anymore.

Maybe it’s like a cat. Long tail, good balance, turn nicely. Like you read in that one book.

Or the little horns are to protect their skull, and therefore strengthen them.

Whatever the explanation, Loop is absolutely incandescent with fury that they accidentally messed up their human form. Again.

You stand behind them, very carefully not saying you told them so, mostly doing healing and speed buffs so they can wipe the floor with everything without stopping. You think it’s helping them work the rage out. A little.

In between repeatedly sweeping the halls just to mow down the poor things, you were checking everywhere for Siffrin. Theoretically, you can see them even if they’re hiding, now. The frozen halls feel more dead than ever without the color outside, with the extremely startling exception of the Sadnesses. You’d taken one look at the tutorial Sadness and nearly choked to death on your own spit. They are no midtones, just color and dark and light.

You had no idea you were less colored than a blinding Sadness. That feels unfair.

Eventually, Loop calmed down somewhat, and you visited the areas the equips used to be again. Their fascination with the phenomenon calmed them down further. You let out a silent sigh of relief and refrain from commenting on how their bright tailtip wagged.

…

You both pour over the color theory book. 

It’s… a lot less helpful than you’d thought it’d be.

“Ugh.” You put it back, and pull out one of your bird books instead.

“Did you get anything from that? At all?” Loop turns towards one of the craft books you’d nabbed on the way up.

“I can tell which color it’s talking about, but there’s a lot more than one, and it didn’t give me any good words for them, unless I misread something somewhere. There were words I didn’t understand.”

“Me either. Do you think there’s a ‘color for beginners’ book somewhere?”

“Probably? Given the language it’s in, a lot of it is probably on the Island, though.” 

Loop hummed. You flip through your book until you find wing diagrams.

“Do you think going back to the Island would kill us?”

You pause. “...You know, I have no idea.”

…

The Party seems taken aback when you spot and walk up to them. 

“Um? Is- something wrong?” Housemaiden asks.

“Do any of you know anything about color theory?” You particularly look at Researcher.

“What about color theory?” She asks warily.

“Just… any of the color names.”

“And you’re asking us why?”

You hold up the unhelpful book. “This thing is useless. I already know what the broken color looks like, I just want to know what it’s called. And I know at least a couple of you know a few color names.”

“Colors?” The Kid thinks real hard. “Oh, the weird shades we can’t see. I learned it at school. It wasn’t very interesting so I crafted a drawing on my desk. The grass is supposed to be ‘grin’ and the sky’s shade is ‘bloo’.”

“Bloo and grin.” You repeat to yourself. “Thank you.”

“Are those the color names you wanted?” Fighter checks.

You shake your head. “Oh, no. But it’s still nice to know them. I guess I’ll just have to come up with some nonsense words to use until I get the real ones.”

You turn around and leave.

“Wait! You’ve seen a color?”

You glance over your shoulder, then say the name of your country.

The entire local reality seems to shake, and they grab their heads with pained yelps.

“...So, did you see it?” You ask conversationally. “The broken color.”

“What the crab was that?!”

“It happens whenever someone tries to say the name of our island.” You cough slightly, and blink at the liquid on your glove. “Oh, here we are. Stars, ow.”

You smack a visceral handprint on the wall, and leave. Now your throat is sore.

“Hey, want to come up with color words?” Your question breaks spectacularly in at least ten places as you call out.

“What in stars’ name did you do to your voice?!” You hear in the distance, Loop’s behatted head popping out of a doorway.

“Said it.”

“Why would you risk that?!”

“I only did it once, once won’t kill me.” You cough again, and they pull you into the clay room.

…

“So, the broken color is Visc, the sunny color is Shine, and the one you said was between them is… you named it after a fruit.”

You nod, rubbing your face and ignoring the smears you left. “I’m tired, okay? Orange will do.”

Loop rolled their eyes. “Fine. Think you got them all?”

You shrug. “I think? We can name more later.”

You turn back to the clay you’re kneading. Technically, it’s frozen, but it’s still malleable if you put effort and intention into it.

“What will you make now?”

“Dunno. I’m not good at this.” You glance at the blobby figures lined up next to you. 

“That dog came out just fine, though~!”

“....That’s a sheep.”

“Oh. Hum.”

There’s a slight scuffing noise. You whip your head around, and the indistinct double freezes.

“...Do you want to try, too?” You hold up a handful of clay.

They take a wary step back.

“Hey- it’s alright Siffrin, don’t- aaand he’s running.”

You get up, but Loop waves you down. “We can catch him again later, Stardust. Chasing him down every time might… put him off.”

“But why is he so skittish?” You sit back down with a small thump.

“Probably freaking out about being… a Dark One.” Loop made a gesture at themself, indicating the darkless getup that always inspires the ‘Bright One’ nickname.

“I guess…” Would a you that never entered the loops be worried about others with your face..?

You look down at your clay, and start making a little pointed hat.

One thing about Frozen clay is that it can’t dry out.

…

You leave three little cloaked figures on the worktable. One is a little tall, and two of them are missing eyepatches.

You hope he likes them.

Chapter Text

It takes a few more loops before you decide on a change of pace.

The Party finds you playing dice in the entry hall.

“...Why are you two down here? I thought you liked the third floor.” Researcher asks warily.

“We’re trying to… complete a task.” You don’t look up. “We aren’t making progress, so it’s time for new ideas, unfortunately. And the one thing we haven’t tried is watching what you do on the way up.”

“Ignore us~! We’ll just follow you around. You won’t even notice~!”

“It’s rude to eavesdrop.”

Loop lets out a laugh. “Oh, Researcher~! You think we don’t already know anything you’d talk about? Teehee~! So silly of you~!”

“We’re probably going to zone out anything you say.” You agree blandly, adding up your score. “We’ve heard it all before. We know every secret this place has. We know you. Eavesdropping isn’t the word for this.”

“We’ll only pay attention to you if you do something interesting~!” Loop packs away the dice, vanishing them under their cloak.

“An unlikely event.” You turn around the scorecard. “I win.”

“Oh, ugh.” Loop makes a face. “You always win!”

“...I’ve only won six out of twenty-seven, Lu. You’re having a better run than me.”

“You know what I mean.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, yeah, so mean of me.”

You both get up, then stand aside.

They edge past.

“You’re still taller.” Fighter notes.

Loop laughs. “I know, it’s great! We think it stuck because we’re not supposed to be in this loop~!”

“Less great if you mess up a wish.”

Loop reaches over, and bops your hat off your head. “We aren’t talking about that~!’

“Did… something happen? Should we be worried?”

“It’s cosmetic, not something you should worry about.” You dismiss. “We weren’t wishing for anything big. It’s still risky, but it’s less risky if it’s smaller like this.”

“So, you were playing with wish craft.” Researcher obviously disapproves.

You both shoot her a look. Loop’s eyes arc up in one of their angry smiles.

“We do actually know what we’re doing, Researcher~! I certainly know my lesson… but do you know yours, if you’re so smart~?”

“We can just undo our wishes if we’re that unhappy.” You add. “Granted, self-directed wishes can leave scarring… But we haven’t been going that far. And, ah…”

“I’m not doing that again.” Loop snapped, haunted.

“...We know better.” You finish. “Our loops were… messy.”

The Researcher slowly took out a pen.

You both sigh.

…

They step forwards, and-

“Oh STARS, STOP-”

The Party froze.

“Oh stars, did you forget about the trap?! Did we do it too many times for you???” Loop panics.

You rush over and hit the switch.

The rock crashes down behind everyone.

“It triggers if you forget about it! You can only pass through if you hit the switch!”

“Lu, it’s fine, everyone’s fine.” You run back over. “Breathe.”

They make a wheezing noise, and pull their hat down over their face.

You gingerly pat them. “We got it. It’s fine.”

“Is… is the tall one okay?” Fighter checks, concerned.

“We pride ourselves to be the first and last family member to ever get hit by a trap.” You shoot them a glare. “The Death Corridor trap triggers when you feel safe. It’s awful.”

“...Why do you refer to yourselves as a unit?”

Loop giggles slightly hysterically, in no shape for this. You’ll have to answer.

“...It’s private.” You mutter. “Family members only.”

“They aren’t here!” Loop almost sobs.

“I know, Lu. I know. I’m here.”

“I’m never going to see them again!”

“Shhh…” You take their hands, and squeeze. They squeeze back, almost painfully tight. “In… Out…”

They breathe shakily, curling in on themself.

You shoot a look at the Party. “This never happened.”

“This never happened.” Fighter agreed immediately.

“Ye-yeah! Yeah…” Housemaiden clasped her hands.

“Okay?” The Kid was confused.

You glare at the Researcher until she inclines her head. Then you turn your attention back to Loop.

…

You trail behind the Party, which is a little surreal.

You and Loop mostly provide speed buffs to get through skirmish faster, which visibly annoys Researcher. The whole point of this is to follow them around, not fight their battles for them. She should be happy you’re providing buffs at all.

You keep a lookout. You think you see movement sometimes, but it vanishes before you can actually glance at it. Especially when you’re turning a corner or entering a door.

“...See anything?” Loop checks quietly.

“Being tricky.” You report, turning your head after another flicker of movement.

“I suppose that’s the best we can get right now.”

“Hey.”

You turn your attention forward, looking at Fighter.

“Um.” He rubs his neck. “We…. we don’t actually know how to get into the secret library. You always do that before we get here.”

Oh.

You walk forwards, hook your finger into a crack in the wall, and unlock it.

“...It’s creative craft.” You mutter as it slides open. “It smells like paper… which is probably why it’s the craft used to hide a switch in the library.”

Retreating, you and Loop begin to browse the books up here. You’ve already finished combing through the secret library, and the topics you’re looking for at the moment aren’t exactly considered ‘secret’.

“Whatcha doin?”

You both look down at the Kid. Not that far. You’d forgotten they… they were already nearly your height at this age.

“....Looking for something to read.” You’re reluctant to speak with this tiny double for a number of reasons. Loop doesn’t even try, hurriedly putting you between them and turning their attention to the books.

“But there’s nothing im-port-ant up here.”

“Don’t care. Here.”

The kid startles slightly as you push a book into their hands. You and Loop migrate to the other end of the room.

They look down at the book of recipes for a moment, back at you, then go and sit down against the wall.

It takes you a bit, but you and Loop eventually find a book about keeping pigeons. Loop waggles their brows at you, and you swat at them. If this ends up being the book that teaches you to fly, you’re never living it down.

…

The Party comes up to find you with your face buried in your knees and Loop laughing almost hysterically against the shelves.

“What happened?” Fighter asked the Kid.

“They got a book about birds and then Grumpy made a weird noise and Smiley started laughing.” The Kid reported. “Look, Grumpy gave me a cookbook!”

“Grumpy and Smiley?!” Loop wheezed, before cracking up even harder, slowly crumpling to the floor, in tears with laughter.

You pull your hat down so you’re hidden in your outerwear entirely. “Nooo…”

“Well… you told us what not to call you, and then never actually introduced yourself?” Housemaiden pointed out.

Loop subsided. “...Don’t want to, Housemaiden~!”

“And you never use our names!”

You stare out from under your hat. She curls into herself.

“Are we really doing this now?” You ask, what humor you had at being teased now swallowed by tired irritation.

“Um-” Fighter tries to derail.

“Yes.” Researcher hisses. “We’re doing this now.”

For a moment, you spark. It’s a sharp sound in the stillness of the House, making the Party flinch, wide-eyed.

Loop puts a hand on your shoulder. You take a deep breath, and let it out between your teeth. Your Craft calms. You can still feel it churning, but it’s not outside of you anymore.

“What. is. your. name.” Researcher snarls.

“I’m afraid nobody knows that~!” Loop lilts. “You see, when the island went bye-bye, so did our name~! ‘Siffrin’ is something we liked from a play.”

Fighter winces. “Madam, I don’t-”

“Don’t play games!” She snaps, making Loop dig their fingers into your shoulder. “I know you call each other other names. You’ve nearly said them in front of us before. You’re specifically keeping them secret from us.”

“And we all know how much you hate not being in on a secret.” You growl.

“What is the point of keeping your name secret?!” She snaps back. “You’re still Siffrin!”

Your hold on your Craft slips, and Loop has to duck as you stand, hair standing on end and sparking and becoming suspiciously bright in a way that reminds you of Loop’s old lack of face.

“WE AREN’T YOURS!”

“YOU SHOULD BE!”

The air pops as your Craft cuts out, hair dropping to hang normally under gravity as you stare at her, shoulders slack.

“You should be our Siffrin.” She repeats much more quietly.

“We want Frin back.” The Kid agrees, eyes wet.

“We- we know this is horrible.” Housemaiden’s crying too, oh stars. “We know why you hate us.”

“We don’t know how to fix it…” Fighter doesn’t meet your gaze. “It was an accident, and now…”

Silence. Someone hiccups.

“I’m Stardust.”

Researcher jolts slightly.

You squeeze your arms. “I’m Stardust, he/they. This is… this is Loop, they/them.”

Loop weakly raises a hand in a subdued wave.

“You’re Stardust..?”

You incline your head. “If I take off my hat, cloak, and eyepatch, there’s not a single person that will recognize my description. …Names are important, to us, Researcher. Very, very important.”

“We… we didn’t want you to know us.” Loop mutters. “We still don’t like you. Names are personal. Stardust is mine.”

“Loop is the one that gave me my second name.” You provide quietly. “I’m… I’m not Siffrin in this world. We aren’t. You can’t call us that. We can’t… call you.”

“I… I see.”

You turn your face towards the door. “...The project we’re working on…”

“...Yes?”

You spread your hands at the threshold. “Siffrin, please stop running away.”

The silhouette flinches violently as five heads snap around, and bolts.

You sigh, deflating. “...That’s the fourth time…”

“SIFFRIN’S STILL HERE?!”

Chapter Text

Apparently, no one else saw Siffrin.

This is frustrating, given it looked like you were addressing an empty doorframe earlier. Loop backs you up, but they’re still looking for proof.

“So, he’s just… running around?”

“Something like that.”

“‘Something like that’?” Researcher repeats.

“Listen, he’s…” Loop waves their hands.

“You wished him away.” You try. “He’s still away. We aren’t sure how much of him is… what we’re seeing.”

“He hasn’t said a word.” Loop agrees. “We’re not even sure he’s conscious. He could be running around in a dream from his perspective, getting taken by the Universe is disorienting.”

“...You know this how?”

You both go silent.

Surprisingly, it’s Loop that speaks.

“Stardust has experienced ten years without me. And probably will experience more.”

You make a startled, wounded noise. “I’m not letting it take you again!”

They look away. “As if we’ll have a choice.”

“I won’t, Loop!”

“You have a life, Stardust. Give up on me already.”

“I said no!”

“I’m already dead, Stardust!”

“I’m going to come after you this time, Loop!”

“I DIDN’T EXIST!”

“I HAVE NEVER GIVEN UP ON YOU, AND NEITHER HAS ISA!”

“YOU CAN’T HELP ME! I DON’T WANT YOU TO DIE, TOO!”

You’re facing each other down on opposite sides of the width of the hall. Loop’s starting to glow, so upset their face seemed to fade under the light.

“I’m not going to stay gone, Lu.” You say softly. “I’m not letting you stay gone either.”

“I wished myself away, Stardust.” Tears ran down their invisible face. “I was already dead and gone when you met me.”

“You’re right here, Loop.”

“For how long?” They laughed wetly. “We both know I only exist inside the loops. And loops end. Ironic, isn’t it.”

You’re crying, too, you realize. “Please, just… give it a chance, Lu. You actually have a living body this time, you might survive.”

“Don’t get either of our hopes up. You know you’re only trying to make me happy because when you leave the Universe will take me back. You always win, Stardust.”

“This isn’t winning.” You whisper. 

“Let me go. There’s no point.”

“Lu-”

“Shut up.”

Loop stalked off, face obscured by light. After a couple steps, they faded. Well, you could still see them, sort of, but you could tell they’d disappeared from everyone else’s sight.

Right. You had an audience.

“...Si- Stardust, are you okay?”

You smile, tears still rolling down your cheek. “It’s- fine. Loop will come back. Ev-eventually.”

[You got a memory of Empty Hope! You’ll always remember this!]

[When equipped, -1004 hp]

By everyone’s faces, they received that, too.

“Loop, you don’t have to embed it in my equips…” You mumble, miserable.

“...Loop is why we have the Memories?”

You look at the floor. “They became a sponsor after their… they didn’t make it out of their loops. I only made it because I had help. Their help.”

“Why didn’t someone stop them?”

You smile as your eyes burn with tears. “Haven’t you figured it out? This loop is the opposite! None of you looped for us. We had to do it alone~!”

Housemaiden had covered her mouth. Fighter seemed to be trying to ward something off. Researcher’s eyes were wide and horrified. The Kid was just unhappy.

“The only thing wishing me here has been good for-” You smile more genuinely, “-is that I get to see Loop again. Sure, every trauma I have gets reopened every loop, but I don’t care. They’re family. I get another chance to bring them with me.”

“...The first time you woke up…” Housemaiden’s voice wobbles. “...You ran for the tree and… you weren’t yelling about the loops, were you..?”

You shake your head. “I… if I’d been brought here alone… stars, I probably would have done what I almost did at the end of my loops. The loops won’t exist if the world doesn’t~!”

The three adults pale.

“You couldn’t make a wish that big.” Researcher asserts a little shakily.

You reach up, and remove your eyepatch. They recoil slightly at the sight of your unnatural darkless-on-lightless eye.

“I don’t have to.” You chirp, because Loop isn’t here to do the voice. “You think what the King’s wish did to him is impressive? His size, his durability, his Craft? My scars contain more Craft than he ever used. I have to stay stable, or the world twists.”

You make a motion with your hand, and just to see if you can, channel your boiling Craft through your marked eye.

Everything tints Visc, and you calmly reach back, opening a door where there was previously a clear hall.

“If I break, so does everything else~!” You finish cheerfully, stepping inside. “I haven’t aged in a decade, by the way. So as far as I know, the Universe decided it would be fun to make an immortal Craft bomb out of its last surviving child. Teehee~!”

Closing the door behind you, you release. It feels like the band of a slingshot snapping as the room takes the place it previously was.

You slump to the floor, bringing up your knees, and sob.

That’s it. Let those tears out.

You can’t afford to do otherwise.

There’s a scuff.

When you peek, a silhouette is sitting next to you.

You quietly appreciate the company.

…

The Party eventually opens the door. Your company does something, and vanishes through the wall. Oh.

“...Are you… okay?” Housemaiden checks.

Lifting your head, you scrub at your eye, gazing fixedly and damply at the floor. “...Didn’t… mean to…”

Your apology is apparently heard in the way you trail off. You’ve never actually managed to say one.

“It’s alright, Si- Stardust.” She assures you. “You can- you can have bad days.”

“Thank you.” You mumble, putting your face back on your knees.

“This was probably a really bad day.” You can hear her rub her hands. “I- I had no idea.”

“Mh.”

Silence.

“Loop was taken by the Universe, too?”

“...They did it partly by accident. A mixed wish is unstable.” You rub your face. “They wanted it to end, but also wanted help… and a Siffrin got help. Just not them.”

“Will that… happen to..?”

You push your hat off, and run your hands through your hair.

“I don’t know. He’s at least a little aware, because he’ll come and sit if people are occupied. But it’s completely different from Loop’s deal, because he wasn’t the one to make the wish.”

“You said you can undo wishes. Can we do that?”

You turn your face up at them. Your eye visibly unnerves them.

“Can you stop wanting what you wished for?”

Silence. They glance at each other.

“Exactly.” You let your head drop again. “You can’t undo a wish you still hold in your heart. The only way… is to let it go completely. Give it up.”

“But, Loop…”

“Loop died for their wish. They aren’t in control, they belong to the Universe now.”

“What about you?”

You cover your discolored side. “Turns out the combined will and wishcraft of an entire country can’t be undone, even when it’s fulfilled. It’s alright, though. I forgive them.”

Silence.

“So, you were… given this level of power by the belief of a people?”

“Please don’t start with the god-or-demigod argument.” You plead miserably. “I hear it every other week after I turned everything that color.”

“This is an ongoing argument?”

“I didn’t mean to break the sky! I just panicked!”

“YOU MADE THE SKY BREAK?!”

You make a stressed, oddly churrupy noise, and put your face back on your knees.