Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He broke up with her.

Lucy never thought this would be the turn their relationship took.

They were so happy and then this happened.

Life happened.

Maybe this was the reason why she brushed off every sign.

Throwing up?

She was stressed out and needed some down time.

Fatigue.

She was again too stressed out and her body needed more rest.

 

Eating more.

She did tend to stress eat and right now she was dealing with a stressful break up.

Slight weight gain.

Stress eating often came with a bit of added weight.

Food aversions.

She couldn't really pass that one off as just anything but maybe she was a bit too stressed out to like all of the foods she usually does.

Better sense of smell

Okay she really couldn't explain that one but it was easy to brush off as her imagination

Bloating, cramping, spotting.

 

Her period was due in a week.

Breast tenderness.

Period due obviously she was getting a bit sensitive in that area.

She brushed off every little symptom as something else because all of it was plausibly explained.

And then other people noticed it too.

"I thought you really liked that nice Sushi food truck?" Angela asked at lunch time when Lucy picked at the sushi she thought she would eat because yes she did love that new food truck.

"Yeah just not that hungry I guess I don't know why I didn't even eat breakfast" Lucy mumbled while she still picked at her food.

Honestly the smell was kind of sickening right now.

"You look pale"

"I'm Chinese"

"Paler than usual"

"I don't look paler than usual" Lucy defended though she couldn't really deny it when she looked in the mirror this morning she too thought she looked a bit pale but there wasn't much time to cover it with make up because she woke up later than she usually did.

Her body took sleep over looking pretty that morning.

"Are yous sick?"

She did feel like throwing up that morning.

"I don't think so" she grumbled looking down at her plate again before letting out a sigh.

"I've felt off all week" she admitted.

"All week? Why haven't you called in a sick day?" Angela asked.

"Because I'm not sick. I've been a bit nauseous and I throw up every now and then. I'm super hungry some days and other days I just can't keep anything down not to mention the ungodly mood swings and my girls are sensitive… it's probably just stress though I mean… Tim just left me in the parking lot… just… left me there crying"

"Lucy?" Angela asked with a solemn expression "Yes?"

"Have you ever thought you could be pregnant?"

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That sentence followed her home after work.

Pregnant.

She couldn't be.

She took her pill religiously never missed a day.

Okay maybe she could've missed a day or two when Tim was a bit… distracting in the morning.

But they always used condoms.

Okay maybe that was a lie sometimes they just got overly excited and forgot but didn't worry because she was always taking her pill.

Maybe they should've taken it more seriously.

Lucy never even took plan b pills after those nights because duh she was on the pill and it no way would she ever get pregnant.

From a few forgetful times.

God they really should've taken it more seriously.

And now that she was really thinking about it maybe she did miss her pill a bit more often then she thought.

Maybe they really just didn't care for condoms at some point.

In fact.

Yep the box in her nightstand sat untouched.

She bought it two months ago.

God they really weren't careful.

They just sometimes got a bit too lost in the passion of their nights together.

They really should've cared more.

Okay wait… calm down there is still time.

It's not like she's missed a period yet.

Unless she did last month.

Checking her calendar for the fourth time confirmed it.

She did not remember having her period last month.

Okay it wasn't like her period was completely on track.

There were months where Lucy's body just skipped a month.

Sometimes her cycle even switched days made it happen another week ahead or another week back.

It wasn't unheard of for her to miss one period.

So she'd wait until she missed a second before she freaks out completely.

That is definently a good idea.

And definetly not procrastination.

She didn't procrastinate this pregnancy.

Possible pregnancy.

Nope she was not pregnant.

Not until she missed another period.

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"Have you taken the test yet?" Angela asked her the minute she came into the station.

"Quiet down" she hissed before answering "No not yet not until I miss my period this month"

"Why are you procrastinating waiting or not waiting doesn't change the answer if you take it now it will still be either positive or negative like it would in the next week or so the only difference is you'll stress yourself out thinking about it for the next while" Angela had taken on a chiding voice that Lucy couldn't help but roll her eyes at.

"I'm not procrastinating"

"Sure"

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"how's procrastination working out for you?" Angela asked her at the end of the day which made Lucy glare this time.

"I'm not procrastinating I'm just letting myself not jump to conclusions"

"Procrastination"

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Lucy was just finishing up paperwork at the end of the next day when a box tumbled onto the counter in front of her.

Pregnancy tests.

"What the fuck don't do that what if Tim was here" Lucy glanced around just to make sure he definetly wasn't.

Thank God he wasn't.

"Take the box Lucy take and don't do it in the station bathroom or a gas station bathroom do it at home it's a personal thing don't procrastinate don't ignore the box Lucy love the box" Angela ordered in the same tone she used when she nodded them around as Rookies.

"I'm not loving a box Lopez" Lucy finished with her final but of paperwork.

"Oh you will love the box Lucy take it and love it"

God this was a weird conversation.

She did in fact take the box home.

But she shoved it into her bathroom cabinets favoring sleep over a test.

She was not taking it until she missed a second period.

Chapter Text

Lucy wasn't sure what she was doing.

Waking up in the morning checking for her period.

She was already a week late.

Yet she still didn't take the test.

She finally was ready to admit she was in fact procrastinating and yes she is in fact very sure she is pregnant.

But she really doesn't want to admit it.

And by God does she hope the latter is not true.

Still even with being ready to admit all of that she doesn't take the test.

She really really can't.

Because if it's all true? If she is pregnant what does she say to Tim.

Obviously it's his baby.

She hasn't had sex with any one but him in a year now.

Sure they weren't even dating for a full year but her relationship with Chris was quite Sexless there wasn't any chemistry and Lucy barely enjoyed it nearing the end.

But if it is true and she is pregnant how does that affect her moving on? How can she move on if she's truly carrying a piece of her ex inside her?

It's not like she wants to get rid of it.

She doesn't she really really doesn't.

Her and Tim had talked about children on late nights mostly ones where they've had a few drinks.

Lucy would talk about how she hopes the baby would have his pretty blue eyes.

And Tim would counter it saying he wishes that the baby would have her face.

Lucy wouldn't be able to counter that because Tim would start kissing her.

But now…

How does she handle this? Would they co-parent? Or would they have to face each other have an adult conversation and get back together.

She'd have to forgive him sooner than she's ready to because she doesn't want the stress of it all on top of not being with Tim even though she's still in love with him.

Yes she said it she still loves the man that broke her heart.

The same man who left her sobbing in the parking lot.

God she must be desperate.

Whatever she decided to do if she kept it or terminated Tim deserve to know right? It is still his baby and he has the right and she has the decency to tell him that she is pregnant and whatever she decided to do.

And Tim has the decency to respect what she chooses to do with her body.

But no matter what she chose she'd still feel sick to her stomach with all the stress of recent events.

"Lucy what's this?" Tamara asked from her doorway Lucy immediately looked towards her she'd been so lost in thought she even forgot she was supposed to be changing.

"Hello Lucy why do we have pregnancy tests in our bathroom?"

"You weren't supposed to see those" "Well duh" Tamara set the box on the nightstand while Lucy pulled a shirt over her head.

"Are you pregnant Lucy?" Tamara asked bluntly sitting on the bed, Lucy followed immediately sitting beside the younger woman and wrapping her arms around her.

"I could be… I just… I haven't taken the test yet… I've been… too scared I guess… too scared to take the test and find out… I'm a week late for the second time" Lucy admitted using her free hand to wipe away the wetness in her eyes.

"It's Tim's?" It sounded rhetorical but Lucy answered anyway "Yeah."

"He'll step up Lucy… if that's what your worried about… Tim's a good guy he's not going to leave you raising your baby alone" Tamara soothed her with a gentle hug and Lucy kissed your forehead "Your a good kid" she whispered.

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Lucy went to work the next morning as usual and quickly found Angela in the locker room "I'm taking the test after work" Lucy opened her locker not daring to glance at Angela.

"good, you need to stop procrastinating" Angela pulled a jacket onto her shoulders and Lucy shut her locker door pulling her uniform shirt on.

"Tight already?" Angela guessed "just the pants but it's not too tight" Lucy admitted tugging at the waist band.

"How far along am I" she grumbled buttoning the pants on.

The minute Lucy exited the locker room Tim came up to her.

Fuck.

"Lucy can we talk?" He asked his hand almost moving to her hip but he hesitated like he remembered that he isn't able to touch her like that anymore.

"Uh yeah about what?" She asked matching his pace as they went to roll call together.

"I'm sorry" He didn't touch her but she could tell he wanted to.

"I know" she whispered back.

"And I'm finding a way to forgive you" she added walking a bit closer to him "I know" he responded.

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Lucy tore open the box the minute she got home grabbing out a few of the tests.

She took 3 set a timer and waited.

It felt like forever while she sat in her bed waiting for her phone to let out the shrill ringing noise.

"Come on" she muttered tapping her foot on the floor of her bedroom.

"Is it positive?" Tamara asked from where she was making them dinner from the smell it was likely Spaghetti.

Lucy checked the timer.

"I only took it a minute ago" Lucy shouted back grabbing lipstick to apply a layer on nervously.

"Should I put blush on?" Lucy asked.

"What?" Tamara's voice was clearly confused.

"I'm nervous okay!" Lucy shouted again checking her timer.

It had only been about 30 seconds.

"Blush looks good on you so yes!"

Lucy gently used her brush to brush on the pink tint.

"Tim liked it when I didn't add blush" Lucy whispered deciding against the blush and wiping it off her with a paper towel she kept in her room.

"Damnit" she went to the bathroom to get the paper wet and then wiped it over her face again.

Her phone let out the shrill ringing noise of her timer running out.

"Please be negative please be negative please be negative" Lucy chanted as she came into the room and turned over all three of her tests.

Lucy couldn't even register it in her head.