Archive of Our Own

"CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAB!!!!!!!"

"Bonbon, you're got to be patient."

You looked down at them, sitting on the floor, their hands clenched tightly into fists. Their face was lightly shaded from emotion, and they didn't look up to meet your eye. They ripped a lump of grass out of the ground and tossed it against a tree, sending out a spray of dirt.

"I know, Frin. But it isn't working!"

You bend down, taking a seat on the ground next to them, and with a groan of frustration, they fall back, laying sprawled out on the ground.

"You're doing great," you remind them gently, "you really are. You're already getting so good at Wish Craft."

It was true. They genuinely were.

Part of how you knew was due to the fact that over the last year since… the Everyone Loop Incident, Bonnie hadn't grown an inch. Whether they knew they were keeping themselves like this was an entirely different story.

You think it might be unhealthy, but what would you know about the consequences of such a wish on a kid? Maybe it'd be fine.

"What were you trying to wish for?"

"To be really fast! So I can keep up with you!"

"Why do you think it might not have worked?"

They thought for a moment. "Um… did it conflict with something?"

"Why don't you check?"

They glared at you, making you laugh. "Frin! You just don't want to check it yourself!"

It was important experience for them! Always check!

It also was kinda boring, so.

They got out the journal that Odile had given them several months ago, that both of you had woven a Wish on, propping themselves up on their elbows.

"What wish am I conflicting with? What wish am I conflicting with? What wish am I conflicting with?" They chant, leaning in close, their nose almost against the page. You had to muffle another laugh.

The page glowed.

"Yeahhh!!!"

The glow faded, revealing a word in your language. They handed the book to you on instinct, and you held your palm out, refusing. "It wouldn't appear to you in a way you can't read."

They look down at the foreign word and groan. You hand them a pencil.

"Thanks."

They start working out the word, first copying the letters down in Vaugardian, which they had an easier time reading (like you, it gave them a headache to look at your language for too long), then flipping to the pages near the back, where their small dictionary of words lay. They traced their fingers down the pages, searching, until they gasped. "This word!"

Then, they frowned. "It says 'you'!"

You grin. "Right! Well, more accurately, it says 'yours'. But you're right!"

"What the crab does that mean? My wish is preventing my own wish? What one?"

You shrug, mock casual. "Maybe ask the Universe for any wishes you have active right now?"

(They don't know, then.)

(What they'd wished for.)

You know it was unlikely that they'd wished for this directly. It must be how the Universe interpreted the wish, going by what Bonnie really wanted.

Somehow, Bonnie had wished to stay a child. Why, you had no clue. You knew how much they'd hated not being able to help, on your journey to defeat the King. Yet…

They groaned, flipping back to the page they'd been on.

"What wishes have I made? What wishes have I made? What wishes have I made?" They chant obediently, rolling their eyes.

You lean in close to see. You ignore most as a long list appears, usually little things like 'I want food', 'hide good' 'don't get mad at me', until you spot the wish they'd made to save you when you'd wished for the sky back.

'Don't die'

'Make it in time'

'Help'

'Don't let them reach their dagger.'

Okay.

You might have some things to remind Bonnie to discuss with their therapist. Because-

You'd hurt them.

You remember, vaguely, how your dagger had been twisted awkwardly under you, out of your reach. Bonnie's wish must've ensured it.

You keep reading.

'Let me read Frin's language'

The first wish you'd instructed them to make. Teaching Wish Craft was hard, especially when you didn't understand everything yourself.

The Universe, when it wasn't set on torturing you, blinding helpful.

You'd read for hours before laying your Wishes on the book Odile had gifted you both in support of your attempts. She'd watched, taking notes. So, for that matter, had Isa and Mira too. They were so supportive, sometimes it made you feel a bit shaky.

'Help us communicate with the Universe.'

And thus: the Book. Essentially, it worked as a 'focus' for the Universe. Ask questions, and the Universe may deign to answer.

Which was always.

Quite literally, you'd never not gotten a response from it. It was blinding useful. 'Is this Wish a good idea', 'how would you grant this Wish', and 'stars, help, I can't figure this out'

Bonnie was absolutely using it to cheat on the homework you gave them, as well as their normal school homework. You didn't mind. It was kinda funny to see how carefully they skipped past those particular pages.

You'd made one for Odile too, but it was a fight and a half for her to get a response, let alone a reasonable answer. You'd suggested converting temporarily, but the look of pure contempt at the thought had shut you up until she'd ruffled your hair and said that false conversion would probably just make the Universe angry.

You and Bonnie were working on a gift for her still. She'd gotten the house you'd promised her, a large home in Bambouche, with enough room for everyone, including Bonnie and Nille, but… it couldn't move. Not everyone would want to return to Bambouche forever.

So… doors.

To everyone else's… Future? Places of residence? To the- House of Change, to Bambouche (assuming Odile wanted to reside in Ka Bue eventually, baring that, to her father's residence), to Jouvente, so Isa could visit his family, and eventually, any area that you and your family fell in love with while traveling. You had… a lot of money. You might just buy a residence in each place, and then try to connect them to each other. A series of interconnected points that you could leap to in a moment's time. It'd be hard. But doable.

Nille had banned Bonnie from traveling until they reached their teens.

Of course, for Bonnie, this meant thirteen if they had anything to say about it. With Odile's intelligence (and the classes she was taking at the local House of Change), she'd agreed to take responsibility for Bonnie's teachings while they traveled.

Nille, of course was going with you. A given. You doubted Bonnie would leave without her.

Truthfully, you didn't think Nille was going to be able to outlast Bonnie on this. You'd be surprised if she could make Bonnie stay for another year. Your lessons were probably the only thing stopping them from running away to travel right now, and that'd been a fight in itself. Learning Wish Craft was important to both of you.

You'd stopped reading. You skim the rest of it, hunting, and finally, you found it. "That one, I think." You tap the page.

'Don't make them leave'

They look at it. Their eyebrows furrow as they do. "This…?"

You sigh. They wince. Oops. You weren't frustrated, just… not looking forward to this conversation. You weren't sure you could say it properly.

"Um… maybe we should find Isa? And the others?"

Confused, they nodded. "So… school's over?"

You shake your head. You don't laugh. You want to. You've got an idea.

"First one to find Isa gets to decide our next big wish!"

Bonnie squeaks, scrambling to get to their feet and you lunge, shoving them over into the dirt.

"FRIN!!!!"

"Guess I soil-ed your victory?"

"AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Giggling, you ran off into the trees.

You weren't trying to beat them. They might need some cheering up after this. So, you'd let them pick! It was fun! Something to look forward to! So they didn't hate you for springing the whole family on them!

Yeah…

Hopefully.

You mostly wandered for a little while, not aiming anywhere in particular. You felt… nervous. For some reason. You didn't want them to be angry with you, you just-

Wanted them.

To be able to grow.

Figuratively, and literally.

To Change.

Your relationship with the Change God was ruined. For good. Isa had… not stopped believing (the Change God was real, after all), but… kinda stopped worshiping? For all that they 'worshiped' in the Change belief. Perhaps that itself was a Change? Mira had… fretted.

Constantly. It'd taken the whole family coming together, and your repeated promises, over and over, and over, to finally convince Mira that continuing with her beliefs was okay. Her relationship with the Change God may be quite fractured, but her commitment to Change was even stronger. Who said that believing in change meant that you had to love and respect the Change God?

Isa had been learning about the Universe. He wasn't a Wish type, but anyone could do Wish Craft, assuming that they knew the proper rituals to get the Universe's attention. You'd been teaching him as best you could, and you think the Universe liked him well enough. It didn't take large rituals, but it did consistently require one, while you and Bonnie could often get your Wishes granted just by chanting.

Odile took to Wish Craft like a fish to water, in theory. Her rituals were perfect, full of effort and care taken. They just never were granted the way she was asking. 'Show me the truth' turned into her flipping to the words, 'the truth' on the next page.

The Universe liked to mess with her, you thought. Her wish to understand your language had been granted perfectly. Of all of you, she could read the longest without a headache.

She was sprier than she had been since you first met her. You had an inking of why. The Universe may like to mess with her, and refuse to hand her information, but it clearly cared. You'd worried that if it took to long to start traveling, she might… but no. Odile would be ready to travel. She didn't even order one of them to pick stuff up off the floor for her anymore. She'd squatted down to study a strange mushroom yesterday. It was clear her knees and back were better than ever.

Mira didn't make wishes, and you didn't ask her to. The look on her face whenever you asked was… something. Two time-loops too many, it seemed. You didn't blame her. The Change belief was more than enough for her.

Ah. There was Isa. And Bonnie, waiting triumphantly.

"Frin! I won!"

"You did!" You agreed easily, greeting Isa with a hug that made your heart ache. You hadn't been cuddling at night recently. It was hot outside, the sticky heat of summer, but maybe, if you dared, you could share your cloak with him tonight. It'd be nice. Warm, in the good way, instead of the sticky way. You loved cuddling.

You hated sweating.

"Bonnie said you needed me?"

You nodded. "Odile and Mira too, if they're around."

Isa was too practiced to frown, but you felt like he would've. "Really? Maybe we can made dinner then, and do whatever you need after?"

Mmm. Dinner.

Bonnie giggled. "Frin's hungry!"

"Wish Craft."

They nodded sagely. "Wish Craft."

The three of you went home, together. Isa lead the way to the market. For a moment, he seemed like he was going to invite you to lead. Your eye went wide. He didn't ask.

"What do you guys want? Rice? Pasta? A sandwich?" Bonnie asked when they got to the shop your family frequented. It was a quiet day, and much cooler this close to the ocean, outside of the forest. You could already hear the sound of the waves. It always felt a little strange to you. Familiar. Uncomfortable. You tended to have forgetful fits, when you watched the water for too long, looking out north across the ocean. It made your head hurt. You don't know why.

You just

keep

looking

up

YOU SHOULDN'T LOOK UP

YOU KEEP LOOKING UP

Y O U SSSS EEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

"-ooni? Back with us yet, Sif?"

You shook your head. "Huh? What were we talking about?"

"I asked you if you saw anything interesting in the ocean?"

…

Your head hurt. What did Isa just ask you?

"What were we talking about?"

Isa laughed softly, sounding forced, and pressed a kiss to your temple. You squeaked, surprised. He laughed again, genuinely. Bonnie gagged behind you.

"Nothing important. One day, we're going to have to wish you a better memory, Sif."

You winced, earning yourself another kiss and Isa's hand on the back of your neck, making your eye close as he massaged your shoulders.

Mmm…

"When you're done being gross, I've got the ingredients." Bonnie said eventually. You were pressed against Isa's hand, blissful. If you were a cat, you'd be purring embarrassingly loud. Isa kissed you one more time, over your closed eyelid, and you made an embarrassing noise, shrinking away and shoving his face.

"Ew."

"Love you, Sif!"

"… love you too."

Ooh. Bonnie got bacon.

You went home together.

"What did you want to talk about, Siffrin?" Odile asked after everyone was done eating. Bacon, lettuce, mayonnaise, and tomato sandwiches. You loved them.

Not mayonnaise. That could go in the trash for all you cared.

"Bonbon was trying to make themselves faster and stronger. A temporary buff. It failed- oh, Odile, that safeguard totem worked. It just failed, instead of… mixing." Odile smiled, looking pleased, and jotted down some notes, and you continued. "we went to check what it was, and found a conflict."

"… which was?" Isa leaned forward, interested. Odile and Mira watched, one getting anxious, the other analytical. Nille just watched, her expression unreadable.

You got the feeling sometimes, Nille… felt like she was on the outside of your family. Ridiculous. She was Bonnie's sister. Of course she was part of your family. Your little family, completely whole, finally/. You wanted it to be whole.

She refused to learn Wish Craft. Even… any of it. You don't know why.

"Um… Frin said it was 'Don't make them leave'? For some reason?" Bonnie didn't look up from the crumbs they were halfheartedly picking at, on their plate. They went to lick some from their finger, but the biggest piece fell, landing in their lap.

"Who?"

Bonnie ground their thumb into the pile of crumbs roughly and stuck it in their mouth. "… you guys."

Aw.

"Aww… Bonbon, we won't leave you! But… why do you think it would make your wish to be stronger and faster interrupt that?"

They didn't answer.

"Bonbon…"

You put your hand on their shoulder.

"We love you."

"I know… It's just…" They took a deep breath in, then out. "it's just, 'Dile was saying I was getting so big. And Za. All of you were saying… I'm growing up."

There it was.

They all had to have noticed. How they hadn't grown.

"Oh, Bonbon…" Isa left his chair, circling the table so that he could pull Bonnie into a hug. They sniffled. "We'll love you no matter what. No matter how you Change. No matter how big or how small." Bonnie's breath hitched.

Their voice broke. "I know but I'm getting taller and I want to be useful, and helpful, and someone you guys can trust but I like being small and getting hugs and getting picked up andbeingwithyouguys-" They couldn't continue and just sobbed, and Isa tugged them closer, lifting them from the dining-chair.

As one, your family relocates to the living-room. You follow, staying standing even as Mira and Isa settle on the couch. Odile and Nille also stay standing, Odile standing to the left of Isa, ever the defender of the family. You wonder if she feels like she's the one who needs to keep watch, to stay strong while the family is vulnerable. Isa makes people feel better, Mira heals them, and Odile… watches. Her book in hand, her pencil poised, but watching. When no one else is paying attention to the outside world, she is.

Hearing them cry broke your heart into little tiny pieces. Your eye and your throat burned.

Your stomach hurt.

You regretted eating so much.

You swallowed, and swallowed, but still your throat burned.

"Bonbon… you don't have to be a kid to get hugs, and get picked up, and get taken care of. We're a family. We'll always be your family. And you'll always be the baby of the family too, unless any of us were planning on having kids." He raises an eyebrow, getting a chorus of disgusted noises.

"Boniface is enough for all of us. Can you imagine a baby?" Odile asked, raising a graceful brow as she glanced around the room. Everyone shudders. She notes something down in her notebook.

"See? Bonbon, we're always going to love you." Isa soothed, petting their hair. "We're always going to take care of you. You'll be in your fifties and we'll still be doing it. Even if it annoys you, you'll always be little Bonbon to us. The little kid who helped save Vaugarde. You don't have to never grow, never Change, for us to love you the same way."

"I know." They mumbled into his shoulder. Mira stepped closer, looping an arm around them too. "It just doesn't feel like it. It feels like it's going to ruin everything, Za."

"How?" You asked. You keep your sentence short, because it feels like if your mouth was open for too long, your dinner may come spilling up.

They paused. "I don't know," they whined, "it just is!"

"But how?" You ask again.

"I DON'T CRABBING KNOW!" They snap, and you flinch. Odile, after a moment's pause, puts a hand on your shoulder. Always watching

"Bonnie, don't-" Nille started to lecture, but stopped when you looked at her. You held your hand up, then gestured to Isa. He's got this. You'd just… not throw up.

"You can't think of anything, right?"

"… puberty."

As one, you and your family laugh. You stop first, because yeah, when you think about it it does kinda ruin everything. Or at least, everyone else. Suddenly, the few friends you'd made… were weird. You hadn't had many friends in your travels, but suddenly being friends with girls, and some boys, was just weird? Suspicious? You didn't understand. It'd just changed so suddenly. Lost its innocence, somehow.

Bonnie glares, their shaded eyes mockingly angry. "What?! It is! It's awful! Isn't it! Your body- Changes!" They can't keep up the false anger, faltering into something more vulnerable. "Even if you don't want it to."

Isa took a deep breath in, and out. "… I know. I know exactly what you feel like. Your body starts Changing, and it feels- wrong. So wrong that- it feels like you can't breathe. Like your body is forcing you into a role you aren't supposed to be fitting in. A shape you can't stand." He looked distant for a moment, lost in old memories, "But Bonbon, that's what Body Craft is for! You don't have to accept the changes that get forced on you! You can have a body you'll be happy with! One you love! One that's you, exactly as you want to be." Isa leaned in closer, smiling. "Isn't that amazing?"

"Or-" You offer, grinning, like you're not about to throw up, "You can just ask the Universe to make sure it never happens!"

"SIF!! I'M TEACHING A LESSON HERE! NO AVOIDANCE! IT'S A THING THAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GROW UP!"

You and Bonnie both giggle. "Seriously, Bonbon! Do you think the Universe wouldn't help you? It literally stopped you from aging. I think it can stop puberty."

They stopped suddenly, looking thoughtful. "But what if I got… Bonnie-puberty."

"… what?" Odile questioned, her pencil pausing mid-motion.

Bonnie threw their hands in the air. "Bonnie puberty! My puberty! I want to grow wings! And gills!"

"Now, Bonnie-" Mira and Nille start at the same time. Mira gestured for Nille to go ahead, but she shook her head, gesturing for Mira to go instead.

"No, I insist! You're her sister!"

"No, really, you probably- know better than me."

Nille sounded sad.

"If you want gills, make sure you can still breathe air. And tolerate fresh and salt water. You don't want to explode." You added helpfully.

"Siffrin! Not helping!" Mira grumbles, but Bonnie giggles, so you count it as a successful addition to the conversation.

"You'd need fins too. Perhaps webbing of the fingers? Retractable, if you're truly going all out. Your wings would need oil, for waterproofing, but they'd likely aid you in swimming as well." Odile was nothing if not deadpan. You couldn't tell if she was seriously helping or just messing with Bonnie somehow. Maybe both, in case Bonnie actually wished for it.

"We could all wish for gills! We'll be a family of fish!" Mirabelle smiled, her eyes sparkling at the idea. Stars, they weren't actually going to move to the ocean, right? There were sharks. And whales. Dolphins! Odile didn't like dolphins!

"Then you'll always be with your school."

"FRIN!"

"UGH!"

"THIS WAS A TOUCHING MOMENT!"

"YOU CAN'T JUST BECOME A FISH!"

The sudden shout from Nille made everyone flinch, you the hardest. You knocked into Odile, who jerked in surprise at the unexpected contact, on top of the sudden shout. Her startled eyes meet yours, her arm drawn up to her chest and the other outstretched to ensure the others don't get knocked over, and suddenly to you, she looks-

AFRAID OF YOU

You swallow and you swallow, and you cover your mouth but your hands shake and your stomach lurches-

You leave.

Make it to the toilet.

The bathroom.

Make it to the toilet.

It smells like sugar. You feel even more sick.

Make it to the blinding toilet. Don't throw up on the blinding floor!

There.

You dived for the toilet, just in time.

You threw up. It hurt. It tasted like sugar and bacon and other, less pleasant things. Someone had followed you, plucking your hat from your head and brushing back your hair. They mumbled something soothing, rubbing your back in a way that made your skin tingle and you-

Squeaked.

Then threw up again.

"-in could be cute while throwing up."

You growl. How dare they call you cute while you were being so ugly. No one thought someone throwing up was cute.

"Frin?" Oh stars, now you'd done it. Bonnie's voice was small, guilty. "Was my food…? Or was it something I said?"

"No-" You gag, but stars, you don't want to throw up anymore. You force it down. "Just started feeling sick suddenly."

"Sif…" Isa mumbled, "you're supposed to tell us when this happens. When you feel off."

You shoot a small, halfhearted glare at him. He knows why you didn't say anything. It was Bonnie's time to get attention and care from the family. Not yours. You were so selfish, needing to steal their attention the moment it shifted from you. So selfish, useless, worthless-

Bonnie's hand slapped down on the top of your head, making you flinch. "Stop feeling bad! Stop!"

Yeah yeah… You groaned, but nodded.

You huddled there miserably for a long moment before you dared to try and straighten. Mirabelle, the one who'd apparently been rubbing your back (you didn't know how you felt about that) (yeah you did) (it was just embarrassing) steadied you. She'd kept surprisingly quiet during this. You shot her a glance, tilting your head, and she just smiled, shaking her head. Her hand still rested on your back, seeping warmth into your skin, and you worried for a moment that she'd step back.

She stayed. You breathed in, and out, then leaned into her more.

"Sorry…"

"Siffrin…" Mirabelle says softly, "I know you wanted to take care of Bonnie. But… hurt doesn't take turns. You can both be hurting at the same time, you don't have to pretend not to be."

You knew that.

It'd… just been automatic. Bonnie was your priority, as always.

Rather than respond, you changed the subject. "Is Nille okay?"

Isa shoots you a glance, seeing through your attempt to change the subject, but accepting it nonetheless. "I'm not sure. Bonbon, it might be best if you talk to her, if you're up to it. She doesn't… have the same relationship with us as you do. Maybe she couldn't tell that M'dame was joking?"

They shrug, looking down. Isa gives them a little nudge, a hand on their back, and they glance at him uncertainly for a moment before finally moving forward, shutting the door behind them.

You looked around. The others looked back.

"Um… want more hugs, Siffrin?"

Stars, yes. You nodded eagerly, making your family make noises, as if they'd witnessed something cute, and crowd closer.

Odile's arm was looped around your shoulder, Mirabelle's on your back and pressed against your side, and Isa was now sprawled out on the floor, on his stomach, solely so he could drape himself across your lap, your arm captured in his as he cuddled it. It was a confusing pile, but stars, you felt heavenly. Oh, how you loved this.

You'd never have dreamed that you could have something like this. Never would've had the words to know what to wish for. It was heaven. It was everything you'd ever longed for, since the moment you'd woken up, knowing nothing at all.

You woke up.

For a split second, you blinked at the ceiling above you, confused at the lack of skyrecognizable ceiling. You always expected it now, always always always, all it took was going back once and you were ruined-

But.

You were also surrounded by your family. That was more than enough to steady your heart-rate right back down from the jump it made that always happened when you woke suddenly. They were… all asleep, as far as you could tell, from lifting your head carefully. You'd been moved to the 'family bedroom', also known as Odile's bedroom that everyone routinely invaded, that she tolerated because it meant she got a bed that took up half the room, so comfortable that even you could fall sleep on bad days, that she got all to herself when the family was stable enough to not require sleeping in a pile.

Bonnie still wasn't present, so you took a soft breath.

"Don't wake them up, don't wake them up, don't wake them up."

You extracted yourself. Carefully, because the Universe was powerful, but you didn't need to make it work any harder.

Calling yourself a rouge made you uncomfortable. Your family, back when they'd been your party, had been fond of the descriptor. It made you think of sneaking, dishonorably actions, and a knife in the night. You thought they thought you were dishonorable. You'd eventually taken a liking to the term, that you were the one doing the 'dirty' work. Sneaking in the night, to help.

Keeping quiet, to help.

Odile nearly stirred, but settled back down eventually. You slipped out of the room silently.

They called you that because you were blinding stealthy, and past you was an idiot. You'd made Odile scream once by sneaking up on her by accident. though, you'd never say it out-loud. She'd sworn you to secrecy, under pain of… well, she wouldn't kill you, but she could certainly figure out some stuff you'd prefer to never have revealed if she wanted to.

You tread carefully as you searched for Bonnie, avoiding the floorboards that you knew would creak. It was instinctive, something you'd done as long as you could remember. You were quiet. Unseen. No strangers tried to help a kid they didn't realize was there. No strangers with kind, worried smiles and foreign tongues, no reaching hands and concerned gazes all locked on a child who just wished to hide.

Huh.

You might have a reason for being so stealthy, actually. Trying to see all the wishes affecting you usually just ended up giving you a bloody nose, but maybe if you specified after you'd had your memories locked away…? It'd be interesting to see how many wishes you'd unintentionally made.

Bonnie was downstairs. Cuddled up to Nille, just as you'd expected.

Their face was still wet from crying, but they looked peaceful, held like a young child (one they still were, so young, so small), against their sister's chest. Nille was still awake, her eyes also shaded from harsh crying, the eyelids puffy. They looked at you, and you froze guiltily mid-step.

She sighed, and extracted one arm just long enough to pat the couch next to her. A fancy piece of furniture, one that you frankly adored and often napped on. It was oversized, just like Odile's bed, and so fit all of you with ease.

You sat.

Nille stared at you.

You stared back. Your shoulders were hiked up, you knew, and you probably looked silly, like a frightened cat that way, but you were frozen, waiting for her to make a move.

Finally, she huffs a laugh, letting her head drop against the back of the couch to stare upward at the ceiling. Isa wanted to paint something on it.

"You really are just… a weird person, aren't you?"

You nod.

"Why are you teaching Bonnie this… Wish Craft?"

Oh.

"It's-" You frown at the ground. You need to word this right. "Better they know. So they don't. Wish for things accidentally. Without thinking about the consequences."

And.

It was nice.

Sharing your country with someone. Even if Bonnie didn't know your country, some of its practices were still alive. Proof that it was real, not just a shadow in your memories, because Wish Craft worked when someone else did it. You weren't just… crazy. It worked. Your traditions, your culture, every Wish was proof that it had existed, that they held a purpose that affected the world.

"… you love Bonnie?"

Your answer was instant. "Yes."

"…Why did you join the Saviors?"

Huh?

You tilted your head. "I… just ran into them. Didn't have anything better to do."

"But why…" She looked at you for a long moment, before sighing deeply. She pet Bonnie's hair, more to soothe herself than anything else, considering the kid looked fast asleep still.

"Why would someone like you care? Why didn't you care enough?"

Someone like… you?

This was so confusing.

"What do you mean? Someone like me? A Traveler?"

"No!" Nille snapped so quickly and loudly that you both froze, glancing down at Bonnie to ensure that you hadn't woken them.

"… still sleeps like a rock," she muttered, gazing down at Bonnie fondly, "always has been. When… when the curse hit Bambouche, I had to wake them up. Had to put their shoes on them, they were so sleepy."

You remember.

You remember the bows. Tied in a hurry, messy, one loop having come undone, the other held on by hopes and dreams. The soles, worn thin.

The tears that dripped down their face when you'd spotted them, catching them just before their legs gave out. It was a miracle you'd even seen them at all. They'd wanted to keep going. To keep moving forward. Had begged. Said they'd promised. You'd been half a dozen steps in the direction they'd been traveling before you'd remembered that you did actually have companions.

"I mean… You're one of those Craft Masters or something, right? Those people who've mastered their craft and… I don't know." She huffed, suddenly irritated. "You're strong! Super strong! I've seen the way you use your Craft! How you use that- that Wish Craft, too! You're dual-type! Why did you even bother just… playing along with them? Couldn't you just have wished for it to be fixed or something? Why did you… run around with the Saviors?"

Her voice shakes. You want to step forward, to try… something, anything to comfort her, but she looks like she needs to yell right now. "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST-JUST BLOW A DANDELION PUFF AND BE DONE WITH IT? WHY DID YOU SACRIFICE YOUR EYE TO SAVE BONNIE, A RANDOM KID? WHY DID YOU DO ANY OF THIS IF YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER THE CRAB YOU WANT?"

Suddenly, her reservations about Wish Craft made a lot more sense.

Bonnie was undoubtedly awake now.

You weren't a good teacher. You could try, though.

"Imagine if…" A memory hits you. "If you wished to win a rock-paper-scissors tournament. What would happen?"

Nille looked at you, nonplussed. "… I guess you'd win, if you were using Wish craft."

"And what if I wished to win the same rock-paper-scissors tournament?"

"…"

You wait.

"It wouldn't work?"

"It would. The Universe just has to figure out how."

You hold out one hand. "Why do you want to win the tournament."

They stare some more. Eventually, they shrug. "I guess… to win?"

"And MY wish comes from my need to win, to prove how good I am to family." You definitely hadn't pulled this from a play you'd seen a month ago. "So. How does it work? How can we both win?"

"One of you wins but gets disqualified?" Bonnie, smart as a whip, answers. You point to them, nodding. That was definitely a option. You weren't a good teacher, but teaching them the consequences of a wish going wrong or conflicting with another wish? That was carved into your mind, far, far too many times.

"I need to prove how good I am. You just want to win. So, you beat me, but are disqualified on a…" you forget the word, stars, "you 'win'. Then, as the runner up, I win." Both wishes achieved.

Bonnie sits up, but stays clinging to Nille, who'd fallen silent.

"And while the King was in power, what did everyone start doing?"

"Wishing."

"So, it's not just two conflicting wishes, here. It's months and months of scared, desperate people, going to the Favor Trees and begging for help, all their wishes, full of power and will, but unguided. You have the King's wish made first, but going against the wishes of the majority. And you have my wish, small, full of all the hopes of…"

(A kid. A kid alone, who couldn't remember, watching children with their parents and siblings and alone. So alone. Their skin ached. They were hungry. They didn't know anything. Not the language. Not the culture. Not their own blinding name. Just wishing, wishing w i s h i n g for a family too.)

"… and direct. A wish from a Wish Crafter, favored by the Universe, finally, finally, giving all those hopes and dreams to the Universe, because I wanted Vaugarde saved too, even if it wasn't my verbal Wish. That's what Wish Crafters do, so that everyone can Wish! It's why I have my cloak! So I can travel around and make sure to direct everyone's wishes to the Universe!"

"Really? You've got a job?" Bonnie asked curiously. There was a strange look on their face. They're holding their hand out, in front of Nille. Why?

You nod, anyway, looking down at the wall, letting your eye drift as it wanted too. If you could see through the walls, you'd be staring out into the sea. "Well-" You pause, "I was too young. But when my family figured out I was a Wish Craft type, they got me my cloak, so everyone would know! So I could be safe and warm, and anyone who needed help wishing would know exactly who to go to!"

"Even though you were still a kid?"

"The Universe doesn't care!"

"How old were you, Frin?"

"Um…" You think.

You'd only been

You

felt

a

tug

You stopped.

You were dying.

Your heart was pounding in your chest.

Why'd you come here again? Why had you woken up? Your vision swam, you were dying, dying, dying, and suddenly that scared you more than anything.

You walked away.

Outside.

Outside.

"-in?"

No no no no.

You can't die. You had your family. You had twenty years. Maybe more, if the Universe continued to favor Odile as it was now.

No No No nO nO NO NO

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NONONONONONONONO

Something slapped you in the face. It was so sudden, so sharp, you sputtered, gasping for breath and sucking down a breath of water.

You

were standing in the ocean.

No.

Sitting.

You'd sat down.

Or had fallen.

Another wave slammed into you, almost knocking you backwards. The wind was faster now than before, a summer storm in the works, judging by the mass of darkness you could see gathering northward, in the sky. The waves were rougher, choppier. It didn't ease the tightness in your chest, threatening to return even as that all encompassing fear abated.

Stars.

You'd panicked that you were dying and your solution was… to walk away from your family. With Mirabelle, the best healer you'd ever met so far.

Not for the first time, you were reminded how stupid you were. You could practically hear Loop's voice in your head, calling you an idiot, laughing at you.

They were so mean. Somehow, the thought was fond. Loop, your mean friend, who helped you anyway. Who couldn't bring themselves to-

You liked them. Somehow. Hated them too. But they'd been there for you, when no one else was. Maybe they were mean, cruel even, but you still called for them sometimes, when the nightmares got overwhelming. You understood. Not all of it, but enough.

You missed them. You wished you could see them again someday.

Days since last panic attack: 13 0

You laid backwards, taking a deep breath, so when the next wave hit it crashed over you, shoving you further up the beach, then sucking you back, until the next one hit and you were washed onto the beach once more.

Isa said you looked like a dead body when you did that.

You called it 'enjoying the ocean'. You liked waves.

You'd used to beg to be let out on the worst days, with the biggest waves, for the sole purpose of running face first into them and getting knocked over, to get thrown around. You'd always come back grinning, coughing, your hair and entire body covered in sand, and get scolded by your Mo-

You floated in the waves.

Odile studied you when you did this. Said you shouldn't be able to float so well fully clothed, and 'skinny as a twig'. You think you might've wished for it.

Your first memory in your whole life was the waves. Floating. Staring upwards. You don't think you knew how to swim, so you just looked. Until your back hit the sand and you'd looked down for the first time.

You must've wished for it.

It had saved your life. Whatever happened to leave you out there, alone, without so much as a boat anymore, the Universe hadn't let you drown.

You washed up a little too far on the shore. The next wave just lapped at your heels. You didn't mind. It was such a nice day. The sun was setting, the stars starting to peak through the light sky, back south. Thunder rumbled, somewhere across the ocean. You should head back, before lightning made swimming dangerous.

You didn't though.

You laid there, until the rain started to fall. Warm, warm on your skin, chilled from the ocean. You'd forgotten the warmth of summer rain. You were shivering, sure, but it was still so, so warm. Like a hug.

They'd be worried about you.

You roll over. For a moment, you just sit there, your face in the sand. On an impulse, you press your face in the damp sand, and then pull away. The sand caves in too fast, the print of your face crumbling away. You don't mind. The wet sand clings uncomfortable to your skin, and it's so- you run your hand over it, your face, rubbing it in, then scoop up more, just to keep doing it, because you'd forgotten how much you love sand.

You wanted to cry.

Tears were warm, too. Mixing right in with the rain, coming down steadier now.

You leap further up the beach, where it's slightly drier, and huddle over it, blocking it from the rain.

You shovel dry sand into your pockets.

They're going to scold you. They don't want sand in the house. Odile specifically ordered everyone to wash off every time you all made the trip to the beach. She despised the stuff.

But stars, you wanted to keep this sand. This feeling. Sadness, joy, the power of the waves and the knowledge that you were going home to be scolded. By your mom. For trekking sand in the house. It ached in your stomach, something warm and sad and familiar.

This wasn't fast enough. You pounce, throwing yourself in the sand, and, following in impulse, you roll. You rub your face, your arms, your legs, everything in the sand. At one point, you shove your head under.

Your family would either be laughing at you or pulling you away. You weren't sure what. It probably would change, depending on how good of a day it'd been.

If it was a good day, Odile would probably say something like, 'he's not a cat at all! He's a dog!' and you'd say either 'is it because I dog all the sand for myself?' or 'I don't care what I am as long as you all still love me' and then you'd bury yourself alive in an effort to escape. Isa would seize you by your collar and unbury you, and then probably carry you to the ocean and dunk you. Then Bonbon would start doing it too, and Mira would be on the beach, a pencil in hand, writing away with a grin on her face as she watched you all play.

She'd been doing that a lot recently. You think she must've decided her book must need some more lighthearted parts. Staying near the forest, still close enough to participate, but safe, was more her style than roughhousing in the sand lately. Odile usually stuck with her, but she'd been more energetic lately. It'd startled you the first time she'd joined your play fight in the water, lifting Bonnie over her head to let them leap atop of you and Isa both.

Mira did like to swim. She just didn't like… sand. Or the ocean. Sharks. Jellyfish. Lionfish. Riptides. You and Bonnie were planning a Wish for her. Something to keep her safe, to give her confidence in the ocean. And Isa was making her boots, to keep the sand out. And maybe a full-body swimsuit, so it couldn't get in under her clothes. You didn't really get it, how she hated the way sand felt, but you knew it bothered her, either way. Maybe you could try out Crafting with Isa, to really ensure it never touched her?

Sometimes she did come out anyway, and you'd let her cling to you, floating easily on your back. A human flotation device, you'd called yourself. She'd giggled. 'A floater', you'd said, glancing at Isa, 'or maybe just a drifter!' You'd winked. Isa had been left sputtering, caught laughing by the next wave.

The lightning made you jump, your head breaking the surface of the sand. (You had quite literally been thinking with your head buried in the sand. Haha) It cracked across the sky, echoing through the air, lighting up the mass of darkness in the sky.

Stars. WHY WERE YOU COLLECTING SAND NOW??? STUPID! IT WAS SAND! IT WASN'T GOING ANYWHERE!

You snapped your fingers, taking off and sprinting into the treeline. The weight in your pockets, the sand tumbling off you, made you giggle, childish and delighted.

Odile was going to be so mad. She'd make you sleep outside. The thought only made you giggle more.

Sand puns. You needed to think of sand puns.

Fine and sand-y.

Just couldn't sand to be all clean and dry.

I'm shore I won't do that again.

Felt like I was dying so I had to leave before I died in front of Bonnie.

Ugh. You dug your hand into your pockets, dragging your fingers through the sand, feeling the texture, the rough grains.

Didn't mean to be out in the grain so long!

Kinda a stretch. You weren't feeling so punny right now.

Hehe. Still got it though.

You weren't wearing shoes, and the ground was slick from the rain that you couldn't quite outrace. It felt so good though. Even when you slipped and tumbled, falling head over heels and crashing into a bush, you still felt so good.

You loved the beach.

By the time you found the house again, you were panting, grinning, and soaked to the bone. You slipped through the door, waiting for the inevitable outcry,

It was silent.

The house was empty.

Oh.

Stars, you were a blinding idiot! Of course they'd be out there looking for you!

…

How were you supposed to find them, then?

For a moment, you were struck by the image of you running outside, disappearing into the treeline just in time for everyone to return. An hour later, defeated, you would trek back home, just after they left, now resupplied and properly dressed, ready to continue their search.

Hm.

This sounded like a time where a wish would come in handy.

You looked upwards. Not much to wish on here, so hopefully simply asking would be enough. The Universe certainly was listening, you knew. More closely than what was normal even for Wish Crafters.

"Lead them home, lead them home, lead them home, lead them home, lead them home."

Alright. Wish made.

You were a mess, but you didn't feel like cleaning up yet. Instead, you sat down on the final step of the porch, just within the reach of the rain. In the twilight, along with the storm, you could see little.

"Madame? Mira? Isa? Bonbon? Nille?" You shouted, one by one, letting the sound echo for a few moments. After a minute or two of silence, you called again.

And again.

And again.

Had the Universe heard you? You thought it would, but maybe not, if they weren't home yet…

You didn't know what to do now. You didn't want to miss them. Maybe you should-

BOOM

WISHBREAKER'S NAME THAT WAS BLINDING LOUD.

You looked up from where you had, on instinct, curled up in a little ball on the ground when the lightning struck somewhere behind the house. How it'd protect you from lightning, you didn't know, but you'd just done it. Slowly, you straightened up.

Oh.

The coin had fallen out of your pocket. It shone on the grass, reflecting another flash of lightning. You pick it up.

It's sandy. That strikes you as… disrespectful. So, you hold it up, letting the rain wash it clean.

Your skin prickles. For a moment, it feels like all of your hair stands on end.

Move.

You dropped the coin and dived under the porch, covering your ears and curling up again.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM

The porch shook violently. At least one window shattered, one that showered you in glass. Not that you could hear it, deafened as you were by the thunder that came from lightning striking right in front of you.

Did you upset the Universe? Had you made it angry?

"Sorry, sorry, sorry." You whisper. You can't hear it, but you whisper it all the same.

Eventually, when the noise stops, you move. Slowly, carefully, because if they return to find you bloody and trembling, they're going to think you ran away to have a whole breakdown, instead of just a panic attack. "Don't cut myself on the glass, don't cut myself on the glass, don't cut myself on the glass…" You mutter as you turn. Miraculously, you leaped over the circle of glass and rolled away, unharmed.

It'd struck Loops coin. You already knew that, before you even got up. It was destroyed.

Your only proof that Loop had existed. Ruined. You'd ruined it. The only physical mark they'd left on the world. Gone. You'd lost them.

You'd just lost them for good.

Your breath shakes. You can't look. instead, you get your feet under you, just enough so you're on your knees instead of crouched. The wet wood felt good on your forehead, your palms finding purchase against the grain.

Your throat burned. Loop was gone.

Loop was gone.

The noise you make is pathetic, sad, and utterly heartbroken. You can barely hear it, but it hurts leaving your throat, so you gasp, sucking up a lungful of air that just leaves out in a sob so strong that you can't hold yourself up anymore, and you roll to your side rather than fall forward on your face. You curl up, because that's what you do now, you hide like a scared child just because you're always scared and crying. That was you. The fully grown, scared child. You'd never stopped. Why did you even try to give Bonnie advice? You hadn't grown up either.

"So don't forget me, okay...?"

You won't. You won't. You won't.

"Stardust?"

Your breath catches. You hate this. You hate hearing what isn't there. You hate not being able to tell what was blinding real.

"…Stardust?"

"-'m sorry. I lost your coin, Loop, I lost your coin." You sob into the wood. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry, you're gone now, but I won't forget you-" but you will. You forget everything in the end, "I won't. I promise- I'll write it down, I'll carve it into my arm, I won't forget, you're not forgotten, I still love you, you're not forgotten, I promise, I promise, I prom-"

"STARDUST!"

You stop.

They aren't here. You're hearing things. Just like before. You're apologizing, listening, to a dead person. Someone just like you. No one would remember them. You had to. You had to.

A hand lands on your upper back, and you flinch violently, slamming your head against the ground as you do so. Your eye opens when your head stops spinning, as you look out into Isa's worried-

That's not Isa.

.

.

.

"…Loop…?

They smile. You think. They don't look at you again. "… Hey, Stardust."

You don't remember getting up. You don't remember running forward. But, next thing you know, your arms are around them, and your face in their shoulder, and they're… not hugging you back, but in your way. Frozen. Scared. Not sure what to do.

Just being there was enough for you.

Five seconds.

Ten.

Fifteen.

Their arms wrap around you. They squeeze.

You remember hands around your throat. The way using your craft burned, the way your stomach ached so badly, the way your mind had been so, so desperate for some way out, some way to stop them from killing you.

(You can't escape.)

(No, no, no, no, no, no...)

You remember them stopping.

"No, I can't..."

"I can't do this."

"Not when I had to see you fight so hard...!!!"

"I can't, I can't, I can't!!!"

"I can't..."

You exhaled, high and painful, and desperate, and they make a strange noise too. Stars, you were both pathetic.

"I missed you. Stars, Loop-" You stop, because your voice cracks, because you're talking to Loop again, "so much has happened. Bonnie is a Wish Crafter. Like us. They're wonderful. They're learning so fast. Odile can do squats now if she wanted. The Universe is helping her. Mirabelle is so happy. She's almost finished her first book."

Loop's little laugh hits you like a ray of pure sunshine, and you whine in the back of your throat. You start to talk, because if you don't you'll cry. "Isa- he's so wonderful. He's so kind. He's making clothes. We taught him how to use Wish Craft to imbue clothing. His last full set sold for half the price of a house." (It helps that both you and Bonnie had led the ritual as Isa sewed, but it was all Isa's prowess that allowed the Wish to be captured.) "Odile…- she's happy. So happy! So healthy! She can run! And jump! She's learning to be a teacher, so she can teach Bonnie while we travel."

"… You're still traveling together?" Loop dares to ask. Their voice in your ear is quiet, tight with something familiar. You nod into their shoulder. They're warm- hot even. You can hear- they're not breathing, they have no heartbeat, but you can hear… a hum. A crackle? Like fire, if fire could burn inside an enclosed space, beneath the skin.

It made sense. A star.

"Yeah. We're just- waiting for Bonnie. Madame, she, um set a time limit. When we'd stop. It might change. She's feeling good so far."

"… how long?"

How long did they have left with their family.

"About twenty years. Or when her knees hurt too bad to keep going. Then I owe her a house."

They laugh. It's a breathy, fragile, disbelieving thing.

Twenty years. Probably longer than both of them had existed for, even considering how many loops Loop had suffered through before breaking their wish and making a new one.

"… the Kid. They'd be-"

"Our age. Yeah." Loop laughs, still in disbelief. You sink into them, and they lean back a little to hold you better. Mean but nice. "They're so wonderful. They're too much like us."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. They wished themselves into not aging."

Loop giggles. "Stars- really? Why?"

"I think they're scared that once everyone doesn't have to be around to take care of them, everyone will leave. At least, a little. Also, puberty."

You both shudder theatrically.

"Loop…"

"Stardust?"

"How are you here?"

They shrug. "I would guess you wished for it, considering I was definitely dead. Or… whatever stars are when they're dormant."

You…

"I… wished for my friends to come home…?"

"What exactly did you say?"

"Lead them home…"

"And had you been thinking about your good friend Loop, recently~?" They tease. You nod, unashamed, and they blink, startled. Your barely-recovered composure crumbles again.

"I missed you so much, Loop. I miss you being mean to me, and you being nice to me, and your rude comments, and the way you helped me when I forgot Mira's name, and told me not to use the dagger, and I wish I'd listened to you more, spent more time with you, and I wish I'd hugged you, and I wish I'd gotten the chance to be with you more, outside of the loops, and-

"Stardust, my favorite idiot, maybe you should breathe."

You take a deep breath in, and out.

"-eling…"

You perked up. Loop went taut in your arms. Was that… Mira?"

"-ure, Mirabelle? Woul-" The distant boom of thunder drowned them out, but you were pretty sure that was Odile, "-ly come back here?"

"-ybe? He's not-" STARS THAT WAS LOUD. Isa's voice was completely drowned out. The sound made Loop cringe in your arms, ducking away, and you tug him closer on instinct, dragging him under the porch into safety.

"Madame? Mira? Isa?" You call.

The voices went silent.

"Siffrin!"

There they were! You don't move, your arms still wrapped around Loop, and they stop dead at the sight.

"IT'S LOOP!!!!" Bonnie screams across the clearing. "YOU'RE ALIVE?!?"

They're tense as a bowstring against you, frozen in place, watching your family rush closer. You, grinning, pull away suddenly, and shove them forward.

Right into Isa, who catches them by instinct, his arms wrapping around Loop carefully. Loop screeches. "I hate you Stardust!" You cackle.

"Loop!" Isa grins. Loop's starry face is darkening rapidly, very, very close to Isa's own. "I can't believe you're okay! Sif said they went to thank you, but we never got to! And you never showed up again! It's so nice to see you! Thank you so much for helping us save Sif that day!"

Loop wasn't going to be okay if they kept looking at Isa's blinding smile from so close. You knew from experience, it made you feel like you were melting.

"Um! Um! You're! Welcome!" Loop's voice shook.

Some part of you thought you should feel jealous, how clearly infatuated Loop was with Isa. There was not a speck in your heart. You just felt… happy. Seeing them happy.

Odile was looking at you. Then Loop. Then back. Confused. Suspicious. You wave them over.

"Loop got struck by lightning on their way here!" You point, and your family makes loud noises of horror. Mira leaps into action, pulling them from Isa's arms firmly so she can examine them, Healing Craft already sparking to life in her hands.

You wave Odile over. She beelines for you, her mouth opening to ask the questions burning in her eyes, but you speak first. "Yes. They're me."

Whatever theory she had, it hadn't been that. Oops.

"They were the first me, who made the same wish but had no guide. They went for thousands of loops, then gave up, wished for someone to help them, and… the Universe brought them back. Making them be the one helping themselves. They disappeared after I escaped. I accidentally wished them back today, I think. Or… guided them back? I don't know."

"…" Odile stared at you as you spoke, and then sighed. "I guess it's a good thing we practiced on you, then."

"Hm?"

"Helping someone who was trapped in a time loop."

Oh! You can't help but smile at the implications. Odile had already accepted them!

"Are they a danger to you?"

"Nope! They couldn't bring themselves to kill me!"

"Not reassuring that they attempted."

You shrug. "Time loop. Crazy. They lost their family, and I got to escape with mine."

"…ah."

Odile hands you her notebook. You take it, startled, as Odile turns and approaches Loop, who's still being fussed over.

"Are you still named Loop?"

Loop stares at her, eyes wide. Intimidated, if you had to guess. Odile was scary at the best of times, but now? A woman on a mission? Terrifying.

"Yes, Madame. Until I think of a better one." Loop says carefully, respectfully. Instinctively, he'd straightened, squaring his shoulders and looking down at the ground, instead of Odile's face.

"Good. Loop. There's some rules to follow in this house."

Their shoulders tense.

"One: No hiding injuries."

Loop was silent.

"Two: If you feel like you want to kill yourself, you say Nova."

That pulled a reaction out of them. They flinched, violently.

"… or whatever word you wish. Just tell us what one, so we know." Odile conceded with a tilt of the head. "Three: no eating in my bed."

"…" you couldn't help but laugh at the confusion in Loop's silence. "…your bed?"

She nods. "We're sleeping together as a family tonight. Since we're finally all together. Boniface, I assume Loop hasn't eaten. Can you make something for them?"

Bonnie, unusually serious, nods, and hurries inside. Nille, still so unsure of herself, looks like she wants to follow, but holds back, letting your family file in first, Loop pushed along in front, much to their visible panic.

Mira stays.

"Don't think I've forgotten about you, Siffrin!" She narrows her eyes at you suspiciously. "You've been out in the rain this whole time! What happened? Bonnie said you ran out while you were talking with them."

You didn't really remember why. You shrug, a little helplessly. "I don't remember. I just had a panic attack, and had to leave. I went down to the beach for a while."

She eyes you up and down, and blanches. "You're- Siffrin, you're covered in sand! Why are you-" Mira catches your grin, the mischief on your face.

"Siffrin…" She warns.

You dig your hand into your pocket. Mira flinches back, holding her hands up wardingly. "Siffrin, easy. You don't have to do this!"

You pull out a handful of sand.

"SIFFRIN!"

"Siffrin." You freeze. "Don't make me come out there. Whatever you're doing, stop."

"Yes Mom." You say automatically. She makes a noise. Somewhere in the house, you hear Loop echo the title, bewildered.

Mira makes you wash your hands in the gutter water before she dares to send any Healing Craft your way. The light pain from the scratches you'd suffered running through the forest fades instantly. Truthfully, you could've done it yourself anytime, but you hadn't thought of it.

You let Mirabelle go in, and start shaking yourself off, muttering to yourself, "come off, come off, come off." Miraculously, it did. You find an empty pot from one of Mira's failed attempt at growing something and dump the sand in your pockets into it. Within a few moments, after shaking your head violently and shaking your cloak out, you find yourself quite sand free. Enough to follow everyone inside.

"I'm sorry."

Hm? Nille's words stop you before you enter. You look back. She's still in the rain! Why?

"Why?" You step back, reaching out to her to tug her unto the porch into safety. She's soaked to the skin…

She doesn't take your hand. "I didn't mean to yell at you. I just- I wish it had never happened! And that's awful! You all love each other! And I- I want it to have never happened! I want you to never have met, because then I never would've-"

"It's not awful. The curse sucked. People died. From the Sadnesses, starving, and…" you didn't want to say the word. Being frozen forever, or dying? What was better, to those who worshiped Change? "It's perfectly understandable."

"They're different now. They've-"

"Changed." You look down. "I know. They're so brave. So wonderful. Even though they wished to stay the same, they still changed."

"They don't feel like my sibling anymore. They feel like yours."

Ah. There it was.

"But they are." When Nille starts to shake her head, you growl a little. "They ARE! It's all they could talk about! You! All they could think about! How much they missed you, how much they loved you, how much they wanted to come back home to you! I know you're used to it being only you two, but it isn't anymore! Bonnie has a family! A big one!"

"But I don't! What about me? Who's going to love me, now that Bonnie doesn't need to? What am I supposed to do when they go running off without me?"

That-

That was so stupid!

Suddenly, you realize. She is like you!

You laugh. "You're coming with us, Nille!"

"… what?"

"You're coming with us, dummy!" You seize her arm, making her yelp in surprise, and drag her onto the porch. She smacks your shoulder for it, but you're tough, even if she is a Rock Type. She'll still die if she's struck by lightning!

"What do you mean?"

"Bonnie won't leave without you! We're traveling with you! They've been trying to warm you up to it for months! You're part of the family, idiot! You're Bonbon's older sister! Why would you ever think you're not?!"

Honestly. You were such a dummy. Loop was right. Too bad Nille wasn't like Odile instead.

She looks heartbroken. "But- I'm not though! I never saved the whole country! I never did any of the stuff you guys did! I'm not one of you!"

"So what?" You grumble, "none of us were when we joined! Madame thought I was an assassin! You're already doing better than I was! That's why we're traveling! To have new adventures together, to do new things, to make new memories!"

"And…" You pause. This feels… uncomfortable. Personal. But.

You should say it.

"Do memories make you family…?"

That, more than anything, makes her still.

"No."

"Oh... You can run away from home if your parents are meanies? Oh! That's what Nille did! I think!"

"Nille..."

"My sister! I think she told me about it once."

"But I wasn't listening very well because I was sleepy."

"Oh?"

"Oh."

"..."

(...)

(No one really knows how to respond to that.)

You shake the voices away. You remember. They don't have to say it again.

"So… Nille?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you be part of our family? You already were, but… since you're worried. You're invited now."

"…"

You knew. She needed a moment to process. Just like you would have.

"… that's really okay?"

"Super okay."

A giggle. "Super duper okay?"

"Super duper okay." You bob your head, nodding goofily with your whole body.

"Super duper duper okay?" She asked, giggling harder.

You're a show-person at heart. You bow dramatically, one hand holding your cloak out regally. "Super duper duper okay."

"Super duper duper duper-"

"Nille! Come on!"

Nille giggles, and holds the door open for you, following you inside.

With everyone soaked, no one's allowed on Odile's bed. Instead, towels and blankets had been strewn around the living room floor, a board game pulled from the closet and beginning to be set up. Candles, crafted for brightness and a thick, spiced scent, were also scattered around the room, offering plenty of light. You didn't particularly want to play, but you'd watch Isa, and it seemed like Loop, still shell-shocked, was about to be pressured into joining.

Somehow, despite the panic attack earlier, and the narrowly avoided one when you'd gotten Loop's coin ruined, you felt better than ever. That ever present feeling in your chest, of something being missing, had eased. This was good. Your family was whole, finally.

You took your cloak off, draping it over a chair to dry. Your clothes underneath were still wet, but you liked the way it clung, so different than normal. Rather than change, you find a stray towel and wrap yourself in it, sitting on the other side of Loop and leaning against them. They glanced at you, startled, but their attention was pulled away by Bonnie shoving a game-piece in their face, so they couldn't tell you off for it.

Twenty minutes into what was shaping up to be a very intense game, that would surely go hours into the night, you slipped from Loop's shoulder into their lap. Someone cooed. Loop said something soft that you weren't conscious enough to comprehend. Someone else answered, and they went a little tense, before relaxing.

And then you fell asleep, and heard nothing more.

By the time you wake, it's morning, not that you can tell with the storm still raging. Odile was up, the morning bird, and Isa was too, though he didn't budge.

Trapped.

Loop was slumped against him, their eyes closed. You don't think you'd ever seen them so unguarded before. Isa's hand was on their arm, their thumb stroking along their skin soothingly. Every once in a while, they would twitch, and he'd move his hand a little, then continue.

Now you were jealous.

You wanted to be petted too!

You look up at Isa, widening your eyes pitifully. His shoulders shake as he struggles not to laugh, and he carefully lifts his hand from where it was lodged under you, supporting your neck, in favor of tracing along your jaw. You shivered, and made a squeaking noise. His fingers left your skin tingling and too warm, but it was so, so nice, you couldn't dream of pulling away.

You drift off again.

You hear someone talking.

They ask you a question.

You answer.

They nod sadly.

You ask one of your own.

They point. To the sky.

You look u uuuuuuuu uuuuuu p

You wake.

Something…

Smelled good.

You take a deeper breath, the easy rhythm disrupted, to breathe in the smell. You peak your eye open.

Pancakes…?

You breathe in again, deeper.

Yeah. Pancakes.

Someone giggled. "-like a cat."

Someone familiar answered. "Stardust really has adapted well to being out of the loops, hasn't he?"

The room goes quiet. Someone's hand cards through your hair, gentle. You hum, happy. "He has. You will too. It just takes time."

Someone huffs a laugh. "Time. Isn't that all we had, in there?"

"No. You didn't. Just the same two days of time."

"… guess you're right. You're still so blinding sensible, Researcher."

"I do have a name, you know."

They shrug.

"You're not my Od-" They stop, sounding choked, "… version."

"Are now." You mumble.

Your family goes silent. They laugh humorlessly. "Oh, Stardust… I'm afraid it doesn't work like that."

"Does too."

"… does not."

"Does too."

"It does not."

"DOES TOO!"

"Is anybody going to crabbing eat breakfast, or am I cooking for myself out here?" Bonnie shouted irritably from the kitchen.

You get up. You take the chair next to Loop, move it flush against their chair, and eat with your leg pressed against theirs. You bump elbows at least four times. The jam that serves as your syrup (you couldn't stand anything too sweet anymore), drips into your lap. Loop eyes you judgmentally and eats daintily, as if to prove a point.

"So. Loop. We're planning on leaving when Boniface…" Bonnie locked eyes with Odile. Everyone simultaneously remembers the packed bag that Bonnie kept on the counter. "When Nille is comfortable letting Boniface leave. I assume you will be joining us? Will Isabeau need a bigger tent?"

Your face heats. Loop's darkens deeply. "N-no! I won't intrude-"

"We'll talk about it." You say before Loop can do exactly what you would do and burn the bridge before they even hoped to cross it. They jolt, taken aback.

"S-stardust?"

Isa, meanwhile brightened. Some worry (guilt?) that'd been lingering in his eyes vanished. "Yeah! We will!"

You and Loop both have to laugh at that. Isa blushes too, then. "Not- not that I'm rushing anything! We'll- talk! Yeah!"

"Mm…" Loop's voice is teasing, always pressing the attack, striking for the weak point. "You'd want to share a tent with me, Defender?"

"Us." You interject, startling Loop. "We're staying together." You're not letting Loop out of your sight for the next month, you mean.

"Oh? So bold, Stardust. What makes you think I want to share with you?"

"You love me too."

"I couldn't love a lesser version of myself." They raise their chin (kinda), haughty.

"Meanie."

"Unintelligent buffoon."

"So cruel."

"Whiny."

"The pain." You droop sideways, as if swooning, and reach for the sky.

"Pathetic."

"My favorite meanie."

"I'll strangle you in your sleep. You little family-stealing bastard. I'll always hate you for winning when I lost."

Odile looks like she's going to interject, her mouth opening. Isa does too. Mira looks horrified. You stop her with a look.

"I love you too~"

Affronted that none of their insults, increasingly pointed, were hitting home, Loop looks away. You grin at them, making them glare when they notice. "Quit that! Get angry! Don't just ignore it!"

"Can't."

"Why not???"

"A person I love is back with me again."

They whine, loud and embarrassed. "STOP IT!"

"But I love you, Loop!" You grin at them even more, and finally they cover their face with their hands.

"… Your family is weird, Bonbon."

Bonnie nods sagely. "Frin is the weirdest one. It's the Wish Craft."

You can't honestly tell if you love Loop romantically or not. You wouldn't mind if Isa did. Loop was you, after all. More jaded, more angry, more hurt. Full of the same self-hatred you'd always struggled with.

Unfortunately for Loop, you'd gone to therapy. You never did pass up a good pun.

"My therapist did encourage me to work on my self-esteem. What better for that than some self-love?"

"… Teehee-"

Oh. You'd made Loop giggle. They're covering your mouth.

"I could definitely see myself loving you."

"Hehe- Star-dust- Stars, that's so-"

"Isa might be a little clone-ly with just me. I might end up beside myself with jealousy-"

"Oh STARS-"

"but I think, no cloning around-"

"Sif-"

"It might work."

You've got them both in stitches, and the rest of your family groaning.

"Oh stars, I've forgotten how wonderful puns are!" Loop admits when he's done laughing. He's sizzling softly, having laughed himself to tears.

"I think you mean…"

"Frinnnn!!!!"

"-pun-derful?"

Isa, just recovering, trying to catch his breath, is stricken down again.

"Def-definitely not pun-derwhelming!"

You laugh, loud and delighted, and Loop grins, proud.

Sure, there'll be work to be done. You have to figure out your own feelings towards them. You love them, for sure. But in what way… for now it doesn't matter. You had Loop, and that was enough. In whatever way you could have them. Mean, angry, cruel, you didn't care, because so long as they lived, you had a chance to make things right with them. You'd hurt them, and it hadn't been your fault, your intent, or anything you could fix. Loop's own wish had done that to them. But you could make amends for it anyway. Hurting someone without meaning to was still hurting.

You truly didn't mind sharing Isa. Isa was wonderful. Of anyone, he had a heart big enough for both of you, and everyone else he met too. Isa clearly liked them the way he liked you. Before, during, or after the loops, Isabeau knew Siffrin, in any form. He knew you. And Loop, no matter what they thought, was still you in all the ways that Isa loved.

You loved him. You loved Loop. You wanted them to be happy, wanted to be happy with them.

And you would be. For once, you had all the time in the world.

"What do you think of sand?"

"… I blinding love sand."

"No! No bringing sand in the house!" Mirabelle cried.

"I've got some in the empty pot outside. Want to rub your face in it?"

"… you get me."

You sure did.

Maybe this was what having a twin felt like.

Or maybe a soulmate.

You hadn't quite decided yet.

You had all the time in the world.

"Frin! Does this mean I have two Wish Craft teachers now!? Can we do more rituals?"

"Twice the homework!" Loop shouted gleefully.

"CRAB!"

You giggled together.

Rubbed sand in your faces. In the middle of a storm. Like a pair of weirdos.

You couldn't stop smiling.

"Don't you bring that in the house, kids!"

How wonderful it was, to have a family once more.