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Part 4 of Hollanov collection
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2026-04-24
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Leave a message after the tone

Anonymous

Summary:

2011, Boston
March 14, 2011 at 10:01 PM

“This is—This is Jane. I swear to god if you don’t open the door right now, I’m leaving. I’m not staying in the streets waiting at your front door, you asshole. Do you think it’s fun? Because I don’t—[Sound of a door creaking open] Ah, hey—”

Shane and Ilya's relationship, viewed through unanswered voicemails.

Notes:

Click on the blue arrows to see the messages

This little fic was originally posted in December 2025, if it sounds familiar to you. It was just plain text at the time, but since I've been on a AO3 coding kick recently (see You've got mail, if you haven't already... :) ) I decided to go back and rework it to make it more fun.

Would Shane leave Ilya voicemails in canon? Probably not, due to the possibility of them getting leaked. But he can take more small risks in this fic, as a treat. Nothing will ever happen to those messages in this universe!

Small canon divergence here and there, but it mostly follows the HR timeline.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Hi, this is Ilya. I will never listen to your voicemail.

March 2011, Boston

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
March 14, 2011 at 10:01 PM

Transcription

"This is— This is Jane. I swear if you don't open the door right now, I'm leaving. I'm not staying in the streets waiting at your front door, you asshole. Do you think it's fun? Because I don't— [Sound of a door creaking open] Ah, hey—"

July 2011, Ottawa

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
July 02, 2011 at 08:36 PM

Transcription

"Uh… Hi. I know it must be early in Russia, sorry if I’m bothering you. I wasn’t sure if you saw my message, so I just wanted to wish you a good summer. I felt bad that I didn’t answer you, you know… In Vegas. Well, See you next season, Rozanov. Bye."

February 2013, Montreal

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
February 21, 2013 at 07:22 PM

Transcription

"[Groaning] You can't just... Stop answering in the middle of sexting, what the fuck? I— I need... [Phone dings] Ah, wait— 'I'm on team bus' ... What— what do you mean you're on the team bus? Are you kidding me? Why the fuck were you sexting near your team? Are you crazy? Wait, let me type that. 'A r e y o u—'"

February 2014, Sochi

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
February 15, 2014 at 05:41 PM

Transcription

"Hey, uh, just wanted to say sorry about your loss against Latvia today. It sucks. You were good but… Yeah. It’s too bad. Hope you’re having fun being in Russia, at least. Ok, huh… That’s it. Sorry for calling, I guess I just felt like… Nevermind. Bye."

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
February 16, 2014 at 09:24 PM

Transcription

"Hi. You haven’t answered my texts so I just wanted to check in, or something. See how you’re doing. Text me or call back when you can, I guess. Bye."

February 2014, Montreal

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
February 28, 2014 at 11:32 AM

Transcription

"Hi. You’re probably busy, but if you could… I mean, I don’t know, did I do something wrong? Or you’re ignoring me for fun? We’re playing each other next week, anyway, so I’ll see you then. ... Hope you’re doing fine. Bye."

March 2014, Montreal

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
March 08, 2014 at 11:45 PM

Transcription

"Ok, well. I'm done trying to reach out. Whatever, I don't know why you're not answering anything, but go fuck yourself. Bye."

May 2014, Montreal

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
May 30, 2014 at 08:59 PM

Transcription

"Just wanted to congratulate you on the win. We're still beating your ass next year, so don't get too attached to the Cup. See you at the NHL awards."

June 2014, Las Vegas

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
June 15, 2014 at 06:25 PM

Transcription

"God, why do you never answer? Do you really never listen to voicemails? You're so fucking unprofessional. [Unintelligible voices in the background] Sorry, sorry. I'll, uh, keep it down. [Sigh] Never mind. None of this matters. Where are you? We need to be on stage in 15 minutes. If you're not here in 5, I'm going to murder you"

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
June 16, 2014 at 01:46 AM

Transcription

"Rozanov. You— [shuddered breath] You know what? I hated your vodka and... And we didn't even... God. Fuck. This can't keep happening. We're done, I can't... We need to stop this. I'll just see you next season, on the ice."

October 2015, Montreal

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
October 03, 2015 at 01:11 PM

Transcription

"Uh... Hi. Just wanted to check if we're still good for tonight. Did you get the number I sent you? I'll just text again, since you're allergic to voicemails. Bye. See you then."

April 2016, Boston

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
April 28, 2016 at 05:37 PM

Transcription

"[A mix of chaotic voices, chanting in unison] LET'S END RO-ZA-NOV! BOS-TON IN THE TRASH! LET'S END RO-ZA-NOV! BOS-TON IN THE TRASH! LET'S— [Footsteps getting futher away from the noise, and a door closing] Thought you would enjoy the pre-game chant. See you on the ice."

August 2016, Mexico

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
August 17, 2016 at 02:01 AM

Transcription

"... ... ... I don't even know why I'm calling. I just hooked up with a guy whose name I don't know, and I couldn't stop thinking about you. Isn't this so fucked? Not like you'll ever know, with your stupid phone habits. ... ... I'm scared that you really ruined me for anyone else. I'm scared that I don't know if I even mind that too much."

November 2016, Boston

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
November 04, 2016 at 11:56 AM

Transcription

"Did you— Did you reject my call immediately? Listen, I... I'm really sorry for leaving like I did yesterday. It's just, It's getting too much, no? For me, at least. Maybe it would be best if we keep our distance and just play hockey, yeah? See you next game, Rozanov. ... ... ... Thank you for the food and the ginger ale."

January 2017, Tampa Bay

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
January 12, 2017 at 09:45 AM

Transcription

"Hello, this is Shane Hollander. I was just calling to remind you that practice this afternoon was moved to 2 PM, so, be sure to get there. And be on time. See you then, Rozanov."

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
January 12, 2017 at 10:13 AM

Transcription

"Hey again. Vaughan asked me to let you know about practice and I couldn't really open our text thread in front of him, so... Anyway, I also wanted to ask if we're still good for tonight? Your room or mine? Just answer my text and let me know. Bye. And really, be on time this afternoon."

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
January 12, 2017 at 08:03 PM

Transcription

"... ... ... ... I'm gay. Ilya, I'm gay. And I never really disliked you, I think. I like you, more than I should. ... ... ... This is stupid. I'll be there in 10."

February 2017, Montreal

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
February 09, 2017 at 09:55 PM

Transcription

"Hey! How are you? It's been a while, yeah! ...Yeah, I'm doing great too. ...Oh, really? Oh, I'll come meet you there right now—No, no, you're not bothering me at all. I'll be on my way soon, just need to say bye to a few people here. See you in a bit!"

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
February 09, 2017 at 10:08 PM

Transcription

"Uh, hi. Sorry about that last voicemail. Not like you ever bother listening to them, but I needed an excuse to get out of this bar without everyone, like, calling me boring. So thanks, I guess. I don't even think I was really convincing, but everything here was getting... Anyway, yeah, I'll see you next month. Bye. Looking forward to it."

March 2017, Detroit

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
March 14, 2017 at 07:22 PM

Transcription

"Hey. You might've seen my message already, but I heard that you didn't go to Nashville with your team. ...Is everything alright? Please call me when you can. If you want to."

March 2017, Montreal

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
March 17, 2017 at 06:07 AM

Transcription

"Hi, just wanted to check how things were going, but I guess you're busy. It's midday here, right? ... Again, if you need someone to talk more, I'll be there. I'll make time. Um... Bye. Пока. I wasn't joking about learning Russian, so, you better come back here soon."

April 2017, New York

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
April 02, 2017 at 10:30 PM

Transcription

"Ah, hey, I just saw that I missed your call earlier. So— [Sound of a door opening]
- IS IT LILY? Wait, Shane, please let me talk to her! [Wrestling noises]
- No, Hayden, fuck off! [Noises of the phone being moved around]
- Hey, it is Lily! Hi, it's Hayden, I'm Shane's best friend. Nice to sort of finally see that you're real. Shane wouldn't tell us anything! ... ... ...Hello? ... ... Hello??
- Hayden I swear I'm going to—"

April 2017, Montreal

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
April 30, 2017 at 09:42 AM

Transcription

"Ilya. I mean, Lily! [Sound of the phone being shaken a bit] It's Lily. Hey. I'm still in the hospital, but I'm doing ... I'm doing grrrrrreat! So, don't worry. It's fine. 'Is fine'. Haha. Just, uh, a concussion and a fractured collarbone. But— But yeah. Could have been worse, you know? [Mumbling sounds in the background] I just wanted to tell you and ... Hey! I miss you. Can't wait to see you and suck y—"

< Voicemail

613-XXX-XXX

mobile
April 30, 2017 at 10:11 AM

Transcription

"Hello. Ilya... Ilya Rozanov, right? This is Yuna Hollander, Shane's mother. Shane isn't allowed to look at screens because of the concussion, but he was really insistent on contacting this 'Lily' on his phone, so I was... Holding the phone for him. I, um, didn't think it would lead to a private conversation like this. ... ... ... If you're still in the area, you should come visit him. He would like that, I think. I'll text you the hospital's details from this number. We could talk more then. ... ... It will be alright, I promise."

May 2017, Ottawa

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
May 10, 2017 at 03:04 PM

Transcription

"Seriously, why is it so hard to get a hold of you on the phone? I figured you'd have more free time since Boston is done for the year. Again, sorry about that. I'll just call back later to, like, ...Talk? If you want to. I'm still at my parent's so, yeah, just talk. I just miss seeing people that aren't my mom and dad and I... Miss you, honestly. Hope your ribs are doing better."

June 2017, Ottawa

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
June 04, 2017 at 09:31 AM

Transcription

"Hi. I just wanted to confirm again that you're coming to the cottage with me? It just feels... Surreal, I guess. I'll just text you. I don't know why I keep leaving messages. Okay, see you soon."

July 2017, Ottawa

< Voicemail

Jane

mobile
July 09, 2017 at 04:28 PM

Transcription

"Uh, I see that your flight landed a while ago now and then you stopped responding and it's not like I think you would run off now but if you could answer that would be great. It's going to be great, yeah? ... Can't wait to see you."

< Voicemail

Jane ❤️

mobile
July 17, 2017 at 04:03 PM

Transcription

"Hey, just wondering where you went? Is everything fine? It's been like 3 hours since you left for my parent's, it shouldn't take that long to bring back some butter. Wish you would stop disappearing like that if you never check your phone. Call me back. ... ... Love you."

< Voicemail

Jane ❤️

mobile
July 17, 2017 at 04:09 PM

Transcription

"Okay, sorry for the back-to-back call that you don't care about, but mom just sent me a picture of you and my dad doing a puzzle. Wow. Why wasn't I invited? You can't let them steal you! I'll be there in a bit."

October 2017, Toronto

< Voicemail

Jane ❤️

mobile
October 10, 2017 at 07:12 AM

Transcription

"[Sigh] I hate how busy we both are. I miss you. Waking up alone is... I really don't like it anymore. I can't wait for you to move to Ottawa. I feel... so much happier when you're close, so, yeah, obviously. And it's so— [Phone ringing] Ah, you're calling back. Wait—"

January 2018, Montreal

< Voicemail

Jane ❤️

mobile
January 02, 2018 at 08:52 PM

Transcription

"Hello handsome, is me, Shane Hollander. You are just soooo hot and sexy, I get so wet just thinking about it. Is so embarrassing— [Noise of footsteps getting closer]
- Ilya. What are you doing with my phone?
- Hmm, I am sending myself evidence. That you are so obsessed with me.
- What? [Chuckle] You're sending yourself a voicemail? You don't listen to them, like, ever.
- ... ... I do, when is from you.
- ... ... ... Wha— What do you mean, you do? You told me you didn't care! Multiple times!
- I like your voice, Hollander. Is also very embarrassing for me, how obsessed I am.
- You— No— That doesn't answer the question! I've sent so many of these over the years— Don't fucking smile right now, you asshole! Give me back my phone! [Laughter, and wrestling noises]"

March 2018, Montreal

< Voicemail

Jane ❤️

mobile
March 13, 2018 at 09:58 PM

Transcription

"Hey. So, like, would you like it if I just started jerking off now so that you can listen to the message again and again? I guess you'll let me know, since you apparently listen to them all. Anyway, call me back, I wanted to know when you land tomorrow. Love you."

Notes:

Sometimes you have to create things for yourself that nobody else asked for, and sometimes that entails spending hours and hours timing sentences word by word for a gay fanfiction with phone calls. Such is life! (I was losing it a little by the end, but also I enjoyed myself. Always a joy when things end up working as intended.)

Is it fun to read? I don't know, I've been staring at this for too long. Let me know :)

The text animation code by gifbot

Series this work belongs to: