Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

"Have ya ever kissed anyone, Yoshiki?"

Yoshiki doesn't take his eyes off the textbook in front of him. Hikaru is sprawled out on the floor of the living room, tapping away at a game on his phone rather than paying attention to his homework scattered around him.

"Nah," Yoshiki says, erasing an equation with a small huff. 

"Guess I coulda guessed that myself," he grins, laughing when Yoshiki kicks him. 

"Why are ya even askin'? Just to be an asshole?"

Hikaru sighs, rolling onto his back. The sun shines in from the window, dousing the room in a warm, golden glow, and Yoshiki can't help but notice the way it makes Hikaru's skin flush, his eyes trailing to where his shirt rides up, exposing a strip of pale skin. He immediately adverts his eyes back to his homework, hand squeezing his pencil as the back of his neck burns. 

"Nah, s'not that, just…"

After a few moments of silence, Yoshiki takes a quiet, deep breath, and sets his pencil down. Pushing his textbooks away, he slips off the couch, crossing his legs as he nudges Hikaru's knee with his hand. It bobs with the movement, and Yoshiki watches it before turning his gaze towards Hikaru's face. He just barely stops himself from jumping when his eyes meet Hikaru's, and manages to raise a inquiring eyebrow. 

Hikaru's lips purse, and he runs a hand through his hair.

"Ya know Miyu-san? From class 3?" When Yoshiki nods, Hikaru continues, "She asked me out yesterday."

Yoshiki's eyebrows raise. "Really? You?"

Hikaru's grin cuts into his eyes, and Yoshiki snickers when Hikaru slaps him on the arm.

"Who's the asshole now, huh?"

"What's her askin' you out gotta do with kissing?"

Hikaru gives him a look, and Yoshiki rolls his eyes.

"Geez, alright, what's that gotta do with me kissin' anybody?"

Hikaru opens his mouth, then closes it an looks away. He's got a look on his face that borders on a pout, with furrowed brows and punched out lips. Yoshiki tilts his head, leaning closer until his eyes catch on the pink coating his cheeks.

"It's just, ya know, I ain't ever kissed anybody either." He says, sounding sullen. "But Miyu-san's real pretty, ya know? Bet she's kissed lotsa people."

"Are ya gonna get to the point?"

Hikaru rolls his eyes, and sits up, leaning back on his elbows. He stares at Yoshiki for a long, drawn out moment, and Yoshiki shifts, bringing his knees to his chest. 

"'S'just… what if we go out and she wants ta, ya know, and I mess it all up? I don't even know how ta kiss, so what if we try and she gets all grossed out?"

"I think yer bein' dramatic."

"Yoshiki!" Hikaru groans, throwing his head back. "Come on, man, I need yer help here!"

"Help with what?" Yoshiki asks, "I can tell ya ta stop bein' stupid, but its not like ya ever listened to me before."

Hikaru doesn't respond to that, and Yoshiki frowns. Looking over at his friend, he can see a telltale sign of tension in his shoulders, his leg bouncing and his lips twisting like he has something he wants to say, but is struggling to speak it.

Sighing, Yoshiki gently pushes his shoulder, getting Hikaru's attention. "Just tell me what ya want already."

Hikaru stares at him for a long moment, before he nods decisively. 

"Ya know that movie I went ta see with Asako?"

"That dumb romance movie ya wouldn't stop complain' about?"

"Yeah, that," Hikaru says, "Well, it got me thinkin', ya know? In the movie, the girl is having the same problem as me— a guy she likes asked her out, yet she has no experience and is afraid of messin' up.

"Well, in the movie, her friend offers to help her, like, practice, an' stuff."

"Practice?" Yoshiki questions.

"Kissin'." Hikaru doesn't look him in the eye when he says the word, but he does when he continues speaking. "So she'd know what she was doin', and it wouldn't be all that scary."

Yoshiki's fingers twitch, and something in his chest hitches, because Hikaru's still staring at him. There's a look on his face that makes heat build at the back of Yoshiki's neck, and he feels vaguely like he's about to throw up. 

Yoshiki can already see where Hikaru is going with this, but he plays dumb anyhow. 

"Well, that's really nice of 'im," Yoshiki says, his breath stuttering when Hikaru laughs. 

"Yeah."

They sit in silence for a long moment, and though Yoshiki has already averted his gaze from Hikaru's, he can still feel his friends searching glare. 

"Yoshiki—"

"We should get back ta studyin'," Yoshiki says, pushing himself off of the floor and plopping back onto the couch. He ignores Hikaru's annoyed frown at being cut off, grabbing the closest textbook and gluing his eyes to it. "Especially you. The teacher will be on yer ass if ya fail again."

There's silence for a moment, and Yoshiki let's himself relax, only for the book in his hands to be yanked out and replaced with Hikaru's face. Yoshiki very nearly knees him in the jaw at the surprise, but Hikaru backs up quick enough to avoid it.

"Ya know what I wanna ask," Hikaru accuses.

Yoshiki hisses. "Then ya think you'd get the hint and leave it be, huh?"

"Yoshiki, please," Hikaru groans, "Shouldn't ya wanna help yer friends?"

"Why don't ya ask someone else?" Yoshiki grumbles, "Like Asako, or somethin'."

Hikaru scrunches his nose up. "No way. That's way too weird."

"And doin' it with me isn't?" 

Hikaru tilts his head, and Yoshiki nearly groans. 

"Nah, not really."

"How?" Yoshiki asks, covering his face with his hands. "In what way is kissin' me not weird?"

"Well, first off, it's just a bit of practice," Hikaru says, "It'll help both you and me! Secondly, yer my best friend, so I trust ya.

"And anyway, we're both guys. So it's not like it counts, or anythin'."

Yoshiki doesn't remove his hands from his face. His stomach twists, his jaw clenches, and he considers just going home. He wouldn't have to deal with this if he was buried under his blanket in his room.

"Please, Yoshiki?" Hikaru begs, and Yoshiki peeks through his fingers to look at him. He's on his knees in front of Yoshiki, a pleading look on his face. "Miyu-san's real pretty, and I'd die if I embarrassed myself in front of 'er."

Hikaru's hands are folded together, his head bowed. He stares through his lashes up at Yoshiki, and if the context wasn't what it was, Yoshiki thinks this kinda view would stick in his head for the rest of his life. 

"Won't ya be uncomfortable, or somethin'?" Yoshiki asks, removing his hands from his face. They're clammy, shaking lightly where he presses them hard to his thighs.

"Maybe if it was, like, Maki, or somethin'," Hikaru says, then shrugs, "But it's you."

Yoshiki wants to die. His closes his eyes, bending at the waist as he presses his forehead to his knees. He hears Hikaru shuffle, probably confused about the sudden collapse, but Yoshiki is too busy arguing with himself to pay any attention.

He shouldn't— he really, really shouldn't. It wasn’t right, it didn't matter the reason. In no circumstance was it okay for he and Hikaru to kiss, the very idea made him sick to his stomach. And if anyone found out, the things they would say. Yoshiki didn't want that, not for him, nor for Hikaru.

But… Hikaru was asking. He said he trusts Yoshiki, and Hikaru may be occasionally secretive, but he's no liar. He must be really desperate to impress Miyu-san, if he's going this far, and what kind of friend would Yoshiki be if he didn't even try to help. Besides, Hikaru said it himself, they're both guys, so really, it wouldn't count for Hikaru like it would if he was kissing a girl. 

(How Yoshiki felt in that regard didn't matter.)

And it wasn't like either of them would say anything. Yoshiki would never, and Hikaru isn't an idiot. It may not mean much to him, but he's aware of how the townsfolk would feel.

It would just be practice, anyway. A kiss or two to get Hikaru acquainted and comfortable, and then they'll never speak about it again.

"Yoshiki," Hikaru sing-songs, "Did ya die? What're ya doin'?"

"This is a dumb idea," Yoshiki says, voice muffled. "You should just practice with yer hand."

He can practically hear Hikaru's grin. "So, you'll do it?"

Yoshiki slowly sits up, face etched in a permanent frown. Hikaru's smile is nearly blinding, and Yoshiki narrowly avoids squeezing his eyes shut. 

"If ya think it'll help…"

"It will!" Hikaru shouts, stumbling to his feet. He grabs Yoshiki's hand, yanking off the couch. "C'mon, c'mon!"

Yoshiki yelps as he's tugged out of the living room, nearly tripping over his own feet as he's forced to climb the stairs after Hikaru. "Wha— right now? Are ya serious?"

"What better time?" Hikaru asks as he shoves them both inside his room, closing the door shut behind them. "We're goin' out tomorrow!"

Hikaru bounds over to the bed, taking a seat on it before turning towards Yoshiki and patting the spot beside him. "Well? Come on now, you agreed to this!"

"For the record," Yoshiki says grimly, slowly making his way over to the bed. "I think this idea is ridiculous."

"Yeah, yeah," Hikaru says, rolling his eyes. He tugs Yoshiki down beside him when he gets close enough. "I hear ya. Now stop broodin'."

"M'not brooding," Yoshiki weakly defends, using his bangs to hide his eyes. Every inch of his body feels tense, his stomach twisting and making something nauseous pool. He can't bring himself to look at Hikaru, his eyes glued to the scant few inches between the both of their thighs.

"Sure," Hikaru laughs, and then he falls silent. Yoshiki almost cheers; maybe Hikaru realized how horrible of an idea this is, and is going to back out—

Yoshiki flinches at a brush of fingers against his jaw. His eyes shoot up, meeting Hikaru's searching gaze. He's not smiling, his face taking on some kind of serious expression.

"Don't ya think yer takin' this too seriously?" Yoshiki asks him, hoping his words will knock some sense into his friend. "I'm sure Miyu-san won't care if yer inexperienced—"

Hikaru, stubborn, beautiful Hikaru, chooses that moment to lean forward. Yoshiki isn't expecting it, still mid sentence, so instead of a kiss, their teeth knock together painfully. Hikaru pulls back, hissing, and Yoshiki nearly considers jumping out the window and booking it home.

It wasn't a kiss, but Yoshiki's lips tingle like they'd been bitten by fire ants. His breathing entirely stops, the only sounds in the room Hikaru's groaning and the bugs singing outside. 

"Yoshiki," Hikaru grumbles, glaring at him, "Ya talk too much. Shut it."

The words cut through Yoshiki's panic, and he scoffs. "That was not my fault! Yer too impatient—"

Proving his point, Hikaru shoots forward, hands coming up to clamp at the sides of Yoshiki's face. He pushes them in, squeezing Yoshiki's face and successfully cutting him off. Ignoring Yoshiki's glare, Hikaru leans forward, eyes glued to Yoshiki's mouth.

It's almost worse, in a way. Yoshiki is forced to watch as Hikaru slowly descends on him, determination obvious on his face. Yoshiki's breathing speeds up, and he attempts to pull back, but Hikaru tightens his grip. Instead, Yoshiki closes his eyes, burying his hands under his thighs lest he do something stupid, like push Hikaru away, or pull him closer.

It feels like hours before Yoshiki feels something press against his lips. The grip on his face slackens, and he feels Hikaru's nose bump against his. Yoshiki's heart is beating so fast he feels sick. He doesn't move, doesn't attempt to kiss back, just sits there and takes it, because the idea of doing anything other than that makes his face burn so hot he feels like he's going to explode.

After a few seconds, Hikaru makes a displeased noise and pulls back. When Yoshiki opens his eyes, he greeted to an annoyed look.

"Yer not even tryin'," he complains, "Ya gotta kiss back!"

Yoshiki's stomach flips, but he manages to glare back. "It's not like I know what I'm doin' either, Hikaru. Wouldn't it be better to just give up?"

Hikaru rolls his eyes. "Don't be a baby. Just kiss back, and it'll be fine."

Yoshiki takes a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly as he tries to control the growing nausea in his stomach. The worst part was over, they'd already technically kissed, despite it being horrible, so whatever happened onward wouldn't be anything new. He could do this.

"Fine," Yoshiki says slowly, "but ya owe me, big time."

"Whatever," Hikaru says, his annoyance melting away as he grins. "Ya sure this isn't enough of a payment?"

Yoshiki glares at him. "I will leave."

Hikaru laughs. "Okay! Okay, geez, I'll stop teasin'."

Hikaru shifts on the bed, tucking his knees under himself. As he leans forward, Yoshiki squeezes his eyes closed, hands curling into fists under his thighs.

"Yer so red, Yoshiki," Hikaru mumbles against his lips, and Yoshiki's breathing stutters. "Are ya secretly enjoyin' this?"

The words make something sing in Yoshiki's head, but before he can even try to articulate what he's feeling, Hikaru's lips are against his. Yoshiki's mind goes blank, briefly acknowledging the way Hikaru's lips part against his in an attempt to deepen the kiss, but Yoshiki's too busy trying not to melt to the floor to pay any attention.

It's only when he feels a painful nip against his bottom lip that he snaps back, attention focused solely on Hikaru. He barely backed up, moving just far enough to show off his furrowed brows and pouted lips.

"Yer still not kissin' back," Hikaru says, and Yoshiki sucks in a breath.

"Sorry," Yoshiki says, and his voice cracks. He clenches his jaw, "I— sorry."

Hikaru's gaze is hot as it flickers over Yoshiki's face. After a too long moment, Hikaru smiles.

"S'okay," Hikaru says, "Let's just try again."

With that, Hikaru closes the distance for the third time. His lips are warm where they press insistently against Yoshiki's, and after a few tense seconds, Yoshiki finally presses back. 

It's awkward, Hikaru doing too much with Yoshiki doing barely anything. Despite that, by the time Hikaru pulls back, Yoshiki's lips are bitten red and he's panting like he just ran a marathon. The sick feeling in his stomach mixes with something else, leaving him lightheaded.

He can feel Hikaru staring at him, and he flicks his gaze upwards. Hikaru doesn't look nearly as bad as Yoshiki feels. That's not a surprise; Yoshiki had barely done anything, while Hikaru had been biting and licking like some kind of maniac.

"Well?" Hikaru asks, and Yoshiki blinks.

"Huh?" He says, and then cringes, cursing himself internally. 

Hikaru grins crookedly, tilting his head. "What'd ya think? Was I good?"

"Mm," Yoshiki hums, looking anywhere but at Hikaru. "Maybe try not bein' so… agressive?"

"Agressive?" Hikaru questions, frowning.

Yoshiki squeezes his eyes closed, running a hand through his hair. He ruffles his bangs, making sure they cover his eyes before speaking.

"It… hurts," he offers, "When ya bite like that."

"Oh," Hikaru says, and Yoshiki glances up. He's a bit taken aback by the sudden blush taking over Hikaru's face, and some anxiety in his chest eases. 

"It's fine," Yoshiki says quickly, "Some people are probably fine with that, but maybe not for a first kiss, ya know?"

"Right," Hikaru says, shaking his head. "Yeah, makes sense. So, I just gotta be gentle, then?"

Yoshiki nods. "Just… imagine I'm Miyu-san."

"Miyu-san," Hikaru repeats softly, before smiling. "Sure, I can do that. Yer hair is practically as long as hers, anyway— ow!"

"Don't be an ass," Yoshiki grumbles, pushing at Hikaru's head. "I'm helpin' you."

"Sorry, sorry," Hikaru laughs, practically a giggle, before he looks at Yoshiki. "So, I can kiss ya how I'd kiss her, then?"

Yoshiki frowns, but slowly nods. "Yeah… But don't do nothin' weird."

Hikaru grins. Yoshiki feels a weird sense of dread, but he pushes it away in favor of closing his eyes. What he can't see, can't hurt him, after all.

After a few seconds, Yoshiki feels Hikaru tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. Yoshiki's brows furrow, but he stays quiet, letting Hikaru indulge in whatever fantasy of Miyu-san he's got in his head. Fingers trail from his ear over his cheek, brushing over his bottom lip before dipping down his neck. Yoshiki swallows, and he feels Hikaru's fingers bounce with the movement.

The hand on his neck curls around the back, and Yoshiki feels a few tugs at his hair. He frowns, and he hears Hikaru laughs, before another hand comes up to cup his cheek. Yoshiki's eyes squeeze tighter, feeling his face burn against Hikaru's palm. Hikaru's thumb presses against the skin next to his eye, and barely a second later, lips press against his cheek. 

"Hikaru—" Yoshiki starts, his voice shaking, but Hikaru shushes him.

"You said I could do whatever," Hikaru mutters against his skin, his lips trailing near Yoshiki's before dipping down, pressing a kiss to his chin.

Yoshiki does not remember saying that, actually, but his mind is a bit too fuzzy at the moment to argue back. The hand on his face tilts his head back, and a weak wheezes escapes Yoshiki's lips when he feels Hikaru kiss the skin under his chin.

"You are not kissin' her like that on the first date," Yoshiki complains, trying to pull away. "Hikaru—"

Hikaru's grip in his hair tightens, stopping him from pulling away, and Yoshiki opens his eyes to glare at him. Hikaru grins, pinching Yoshiki's cheek.

"Ya never know," he says, "They say I'm very charmin'."

"Who? The voices in yer head?"

"Ah, so ya don't believe me?" Hikaru asks, clicking his tongue. "Well, we can't have that!"

Yoshiki has barely a second to guess at what Hikaru is planning before he's suddenly pushed back, falling against the bed with a punched out breath. Before he can question what Hikaru's problem is, he feels a weight settle against his hips and is greeted to a bright, triumphant smile as Hikaru leans over him. 

Yoshiki's blood rushes to his face so fast, he's convinced he's seconds away from a nosebleed.

"Hikaru—" Yoshiki shouts, only for his mouth the be covered by Hikaru's hand.

"Yer the one that questioned my charm, 'shiki," Hikaru says, voice melodic. "I'm just provin' ya wrong."

Yoshiki's entire body is both freezing cold and burning hot, there's a drumming in his chest that feels too fast to be his heart, yet he can hear it pounding away in his ears anyhow. Hikaru is grinning like he's unaffected, and why wouldn't he be? The feelings swirling in Yoshiki's gut and mind are abnormal, shameful, and they need to be hidden away as fast as possible. He's afraid that they're showing on his face, that every quickened breath is a slip up, every pounding beat of his heart a whispered confession. Hikaru's just having fun, he's doing this all for a girl, and Yoshiki needs to get it together unless he wants to mess up their friendship.

Still, if Hikaru doesn't stop in the next few minutes, Yoshiki might really explode.

"Hikaru," Yoshiki says, slightly muffled from Hikaru's palm. He grips Hikaru's wrist, tilting his head back to speak clearly. "Don't ya think this is a bit too far…?"

Hikaru hums, shaking free of Yoshiki's grip. He places both hands on the sides of Yoshiki's face, leaning closer with a smile.

"Nah," he says easily, ignorant to the way his proximity makes Yoshiki's skin feel like it's buzzing. "I'm havin' fun. Aren't you?"

Yoshiki stares up at him, at a loss for words. 

Hikaru's smile softens, and he bumps his nose against Yoshiki's.

"It's fine," Hikaru says earnestly, his voice less teasing. "It's just a bit 'a messin' around. If ya wanna stop, I'll back off, but ya don't gotta worry about anythin'."

Yoshiki's hands twists into his shirt, unsure of what to do. It doesn't feel like this is about Miyu-san anymore, but if not, what's the point in continuing? 

Hikaru ain't gay, Yoshiki knows that, so what? He wants to do it 'cause it feels nice? 'Cause it's fun?

Maybe.

Maybe for Hikaru, it really is that simple. 

He's got an out, too. If Yoshiki tells Hikaru to back off, he will. If Yoshiki doesn't want this…

His stomach drops.

He can't say no. He can't push Hikaru away, because tomorrow, Hikaru will go on a date with Miyu-san, and he'll kiss her, and he'll forget all about this 'practice'. He won't need Yoshiki's help anymore, will have a girl to do it for him, and he'll probably enjoy it much, much more.

Yoshiki's disgusting. The worst of the worst. 

"Nah, s'fine," Yoshiki says, turning his head to the side so he doesn't have to face his friend. Guilt pools in his gut like acid, making him feel cold from the inside out. "You can… you can do whatever ya want."

"Really?" Hikaru says, and he sounds excited, but Yoshiki closes his eyes, not wanting to look. "Thanks, Yoshiki!"

Thanks? Yoshiki frowns. What're ya thankin' me for? 

The press of Hikaru's lips against his cheek has his eyes opening. They trail down to his jaw, dipping under to the sensitive skin every so often before dragging back up. Yoshiki blinks rapidly, staring at the wall as one of Hikaru's hands tilts his head. Before he's forced to make eye contact, Yoshiki's eyes fall shut once more. It helps him not feel as guilty, but it doesn't help in not surprising him. He nearly jumps out of his skin at the press of Hikaru's lips against his own, and he flushes as he hears Hikaru giggle.

"So jumpy," Hikaru says, before kissing him harder. Yoshiki doesn't kiss back at first, but when he remembers Hikaru's earlier admonishment, he finally gives in.

The content hum that Hikaru let's out nearly makes Yoshiki gasp. The hand on his face trails down his neck to his shoulder, but Yoshiki loses track of it at the feel of Hikaru's tongue against his lips. 

He doesn't quite know what to do— Yoshiki hasn't ever kissed anyway either— but Hikaru's persistent. He licks at Yoshiki's lips until he eventually manages to part them, and Yoshiki can't keep back the gasp this time, as Hikaru's tongue brushes against his own.

It's then that Yoshiki finds where Hikaru's hand had gone. He flinches at the warm press of Hikaru's hand against his stomach, his back involuntarily arching as it slides up his chest.

"Hikaru—" Yoshiki starts, but his words are drowned out by Hikaru using the opportunity to plunge his tongue deeper. Yoshiki doesn't want to say he moans, but the muffled noise that escapes him at both sensations is too close to one, that it would be far more embarrassing to lie.

He feels Hikaru shifts on top of him, his other hand coming up to comb through Yoshiki's bangs. There's no way Hikaru can't feel how hot Yoshiki's face is, but he doesn't seem to care as he uses the grip to tug Yoshiki's head back.

"Like this," Hikaru starts off slowly, and Yoshiki dares to open his eyes. Hikaru's panting nearly as much as Yoshiki is, though his face is shaded just a like pink. He looks beautiful, with his crooked tooth grin, and his sharp gray eyes. Yoshiki feels stuck, unable to look away. "Ya really… do look like 'a girl."

Yoshiki's breathing stutters, then stops altogether. Hikaru doesn't notice, already ducking down to press heavy, wet kisses along the canvas of Yoshiki's bared throat. Yoshiki's eyes are glued to the ceiling, fingers twitching at his side.

Oh.

Yoshiki's hands move without his permission, latching onto Hikaru's biceps. He can feel Hikaru's hand exploring his stomach, touch alternating between gentle and rough. His stomach twists, and turns, a mix of fluttering butterflies and stinging hornets. Yoshiki's hands shake where they grip at Hikaru, and he's unsure of whether he wants to shove him away, or if he's just holding on.

Hikaru bites at Yoshiki's neck, and a yelps escapes his lips. He can feel Hikaru grin, before another bite is placed a few inches below the first one.

It hurts, but it feels good. Something in Yoshiki's stomach stirs, and he squeezes his eyes closed. His eyes sting, his grip on Hikaru tightens, but his jaw stays clenched shut.

The next few minutes are a blur. Hikaru, at some point, had let go of Yoshiki's hair so his hand could join the other in it's exploration of Yoshiki's torso. At some point, Yoshiki's shirt had been taken off, thrown somewhere around the room, and Hikaru had replaced his hands with his mouth. 

Yoshiki barely says a word, any time his mouth opens, it's to let out an embarrassing sound. Hikaru, however, is talkative. 

"Wow, so ya got more moles down here, huh?"

"Hey, these ones kinda look like 'a constellation!"

"Yer so jumpy, Yoshiki.."

"Who knew you were so pretty?"

It was torture. There were many time Yoshiki considered kneeing Hikaru in the face, just to get Hikaru to shut up. Every word, every touch, every kiss, it makes Yoshiki feel overheated, wrong, like his skin was on backwards. 

He wants it to stop, but he wants it to keep going just as much. His stomach swirls, his mind goes fuzzy, and throughout it all, Hikaru is completely and utterly oblivious.

Torture. 

At some point, Hikaru finds himself back at Yoshiki's mouth. His hands cup Yoshiki's face, moving him this way an that, very content, if the noises he's making are anything to go by. 

Yoshiki kisses back, slowly and desperately, ignoring every signal in his body telling him to stop.

I will never have this again.

The thought makes him feel insane, and he presses forward, deepening the kiss that had, overtime, grown soft. Hikaru makes a questioning noise, but he doesn't pull back, going as far as smiling as Yoshiki, sucks his lip in-between his teeth.

He bites down, hard enough to leave a dent, and then pulls back, turning his face away when Hikaru makes chase.

"Hey, what're ya—"

"Let's stop."

Hikaru pauses, frowning down at Yoshiki. It almost makes him regret saying anything, but he knows it needs to end.

Too much. Greedy, indulgent, sick.

"Why?" Hikaru asks. "Ya don't like it?"

"By now, you should be comfortable enough to kiss Miyu-san," Yoshiki says stiffly, "Besides, ain't it getting weird at this point?"

"Weird?" Hikaru questions, tilting his head. His eyes trail down Yoshiki's body, and Yoshiki feels his face heating up. "Um. Guess so, yeah."

"Right, so," Yoshiki starts, having to clear his throat halfway through. "You should, probably get off me, now."

Hikaru doesn't move right away. Yoshiki waits patiently, only to jump at the light brush of fingers along his stomach. They trail down the length of it, stopping at the top of his jeans.

"Hikaru," Yoshiki says, voice thick.

"Hm," Hikaru hums, then rolls off of Yoshiki and plops down beside him. "Alright, don't get pissy."

"You—" Yoshiki cuts himself off, clenching his jaw as he turns away. 

They sit in silence, until eventually,

"You should probably go home."

Yoshiki's eyes widen, and he turns towards Hikaru. There's an aching emptiness in his chest that only grows more pronounced at the way Hikaru doesn't look at him.

"Why?" Yoshiki asks cautiously, hands clammy as he wraps his arms around himself. 

Hikaru shrugs, throwing an arm over his eyes. "My ma will get home soon."

Yoshiki wants to ask why that mattered, but his mouth feels suddenly dry. His eyes sting like he's on the verge of tears, but he blinks them back, breathing shakily through his nose.

"Okay."

Yoshiki slowly sits up, finding his shirt hanging off the edge of the bed. He tugs it on, refusing to look at the marks on his chest. As he gets off the bed, he glances back at Hikaru, but his face is still covered by his arm, entirely unmoving.

"Um, bye," Yoshiki offers, frowning when Hikaru waves dismissively.

Yoshiki makes his way out of the room, taking a quick trip into the bathroom to look at his reflection in the mirror. He swears when he sees a couple marks decorating his throat, too high up to cover with his shirt. He quickly makes his way down the stairs, gathering his books in his bag before rushing towards the front door. Hanging on the coat rack is a brown scarf, one Yoshiki had seen Hikaru wear a few times whenever the weather got a bit chilly. 

Yoshiki grinds his teeth, casting a glare at the stairs before he reaches out and snatches the scarf, wrapping it around his neck. The weather isn't nearly cold enough to use it, but he'd rather people talk about that than the marks on his neck. 

Taking a deep breath, Yoshiki makes his way outside, mounts his bike, and takes off. The rush of wind around him does nothing to quell the sick feeling in his stomach.

—

He doesn't see Hikaru againt until Monday. Yoshiki had expected something, maybe awkwardness or disgust, but Hikaru smiles at him the way he always does. 

"How'd things go with Miyu-san?" Yoshiki asks, and Hikaru sighs loudly.

"She ended up having to bail at the last minute, something about her little brother getting sick."

"Oh," Yoshiki says, blinking, "That… sucks."

"It's whatever," Hikaru says, then looks over at Yoshiki. "Hey, about Saturday…"

Yoshiki freezes, eyeing the very full classroom around them. He stares at Hikaru with wide eyes, begging him to shut up.

"Did ya… take my scarf?"

Yoshiki nearly bashes his head on his desk. "Uh, yeah, sorry. I'll give it back tonight."

"Cool," he says, leaning back in his chair, completely uncovered. "Winter's comin', and my ma will be pissed if I don't wear it."

He grins, and Yoshiki sighs quietly. 

It was better to ignore it. It was nothing more than a weird afternoon.

Chapter Text

'Hikaru' wakes to the morning sun shining through his window, and a steady stream of his insides curling upwards to the ceiling.

He stares with wide eyes, his chest heaving with breaths he doesn't need. The dream he'd just had replays itself over and over in his mind, making his body tingle. A heady feeling settles in his gut, warm, and though it's not entirely new, it's a rare enough feeling to make himself feel a bit off kilter.

'Hikaru' takes a moment to rein himself in, taking slow, steady breaths, pulling himself back into his body. He keeps a hand over his eyes for a moment once it's all back in, before running it down his face with a quiet noise.

It isn't often that 'Hikaru' finds himself reliving the human Hikaru's memories during the night, though it isn't like it hasn't happened before. Nothing like this, though. Nothing that warms 'Hikaru' from head to toe, consuming his every thought and making him lose the control he strives so hard to keep of himself.

'Hikaru' frowns at the ceiling, bringing a hand up to his lips. He almost expects to feel a sting of pain as he presses down, the feeling of teeth sinking in still so fresh in his head. Instead, he feels nothing, because why would he? Yoshiki isn't—

Yoshiki. 'Hikaru's' eyes close, his brain prompting the memory of Yoshiki that had filled his night. 

Long hair, splayed out against his bed, face flushed a pretty pink that reminds 'Hikaru' of a flower. Lips that are flushed and puffy, that taste sweet like watermelon, melting underneath 'Hikaru's'. Warm skin, soft and willing, pressed up against 'Hikaru's' hand. 

His noises, sounds 'Hikaru's' never heard Yoshiki make before. He has a sudden itching desire to do so, memory not enough, not when it's not his own, not when he's never truly experienced it.

The feeling in 'Hikaru's' gut burns hotter, and he huffs, opening his eyes to glare at his room. He wishes he could teleport, wishes he could plop into Yoshiki's room with a snap of his fingers. The itch is getting stronger now, he wants— needs— to see Yoshiki. 

Well, 'Hikaru' can't teleport, so the next best thing he can do is get off his ass and move.

He does so, rolling out of bed with a thump, ignoring the twinge in his knees. He half-heartedly makes his bed, before quickly throwing on an outfit, racing out of his room and nearly tripping down the stairs. 

His mother is up, as she always is, and 'Hikaru' nearly hesitates at the smell of food. Peeking into the kitchen, be finds his mom at the stove, watching over a pan of eggs. Somehow noticing him at the doorway, his mom looks over with a gentle smile, and gestures with her spatula.

"You comin' to eat?"

"I was gonna go to Yoshiki's…" he says slowly, ducking his head when his mom laughs.

"Well, don't let me keep ya then. Have fun!"

'Hikaru' waits a second longer, before quickly turning around and making his way towards the door. He shoves his shoes on his feet and is out the door in a flash, hopping on his bike and taking off down the road.

The bike ride does a bit to help cool the intense urge to be face to face with Yoshiki. 'Hikaru' sighs, letting his head fall back as his body navigates the well-worn path to Yoshiki's house. The wind is gentle and cold as it blows through 'Hikaru's' hair, and it isn't long until Yoshiki's place is coming into view.

'Hikaru' pulls to a stop outside the house, quickly propping the bike up before making his way to the door. Knocking, 'Hikaru' takes a step back and waits.

He doesn't have to wait long, and a grin spreads across his face as Yoshiki comes into view, already dressed for the day.

Yoshiki doesn't look all that surprised to see him, just raises an eyebrow in a silent question.

'Hikaru' bounces on the balls of his feet. "Hey."

Yoshiki snorts quietly. "Hey."

"I gotta tell ya something. It might be kinda weird, though."

Yoshiki watches him for a moment, and 'Hikaru' happily takes that time to look his own fill.

Yoshiki's hair is freshly trimmed, showing off his eyes in a way that makes something flutter in 'Hikaru's' chest. That anxious look he always used to have isn't as strong anymore, no longer covering his face like a mask. He looks calmer, sweeter, not really like the Yoshiki in 'Hikaru's' dream at all.

Somehow, that only makes 'Hikaru' even more excited. 

"Isn't everything weird with ya?" Yoshiki says, and 'Hikaru' laughs. It makes Yoshiki grin, small and shy, and a weird rush of heat takes over 'Hikaru's' cheeks. "Come on, my mom left with Kaoru to go grocery shoppin' a couple minutes ago."

"Ooh, the entire house to ourselves," 'Hikaru' teases, wagging his eyebrows as he steps inside. Yoshiki rolls his eyes, ruffling his hair hard enough to elicit a yelps. "Hey! Knock it off."

"You knock it off. Have ya had breakfast, yet?"

Yoshiki sends him into the dining room when 'Hikaru' answers, and after a few minutes, Yoshiki comes in with two bowls of cereal. They eat in comfortable silence, with 'Hikaru' finishing first and waiting with bouncing legs for Yoshiki. Yoshiki sends him a couple amused glances, before they eventually find themselves in Yoshiki's bedroom.

'Hikaru' plops himself onto Yoshiki's bed, spreading out like a starfish as he finally feels a bit of his excitement calm. Yoshiki's room is as familiar to him as his own, and it never fails to draw him in and make him feel steady.

Yoshiki takes a seat beside him, leaning back against his pillows as he nudges 'Hikaru's' hip with his foot.

"You gonna tell me what's got ya so riled up, or do I have ta guess?" He asks, bringing his knees up to his chest.

'Hikaru' rolls onto his stomach, smiling brightly up at Yoshiki. "Maybe ya should. Though, I don't think you'll get it."

Yoshiki waves his hand. "Just tell me. You've been dyin' to since ya got here."

'Hikaru' nods, determined, and sits up, scooting closer to Yoshiki. He adopts a serious expression, hands curling into fists on his thighs. He leans close, lowering his voice to a whisper.

"Yoshiki… you've been lyin' to me."

Yoshiki freezes, his brows drawing together. "I… have?"

'Hikaru' nods solemnly. "Yes. But i forgive ya."

"… Okay?"

'Hikaru' brightens, slapping his hands down on Yoshiki's shoulders. "And! Good news! I know how ya can make it up to me!"

Yoshiki's expression slowly drops, becoming incredulous. "What are ya talkin' about, 'Hikaru'—"

"Okay, okay, since yer beggin' to know how!" 'Hikaru' says dramatically, pressing a finger to Yoshiki's lips when he opens his mouth the protest. "I'll tell ya! It's real simple!

"All ya gotta do," 'Hikaru' says slowly, before throwing his arms out dramatically, "Is kiss me!"

Yoshiki's eyes widen, his lips parting in shock, and 'Hikaru' sits back on his heels, fingers tapping away on his thighs in a happy rhythm. Yoshiki keeps staring at him, and for a moment, 'Hikaru' wonders if he's even breathing.

Eventually, Yoshiki chokes out, in a high-pitched voice, "What?"

"Ya heard me," 'Hikaru' says, crossing his arms and adopting an aloof expression. "It is the only way!"

"'Hikaru'," Yoshiki grits out, burying his face in his hands, "Yer forgettin' a lotta context here."

"Oh, right," 'Hikaru' says, shaking his head. "Last night, I had a dream."

Yoshiki takes a moment to reply, but eventually, he peeks out between his fingers with a small glare. "A dream?"

"More of a memory," 'Hikaru' explains. "One of the human Hikaru's memories. Wanna guess what it was about?"

"No."

'Hikaru' pouts. "Boo. No fun."

"'Hikaru'," Yoshiki scolds, and 'Hikaru' waves his hand.

"Okay, sheesh, who knew you were so impatient?" 'Hikaru' clears his throat. "The dream. Memory. It was one of you and Hikaru. You were kissin'."

Yoshiki's hands drop from his face, and 'Hikaru' watches as a complicated expression appears. 

"You know what I'm talkin' about?" 'Hikaru' asks, and Yoshiki sighs.

"Of course I do," Yoshiki grumbles, "We only ever kissed once."

'Hikaru' tilts his head, leaning closer. "Why not? Ya both obviously liked it."

A flush forms on Yoshiki's cheeks at 'Hikaru's' words, and 'Hikaru' gets the sudden desire to bite them.

"It wasn't anythin' like that," Yoshiki denies, "It was dumb. Hikaru was freakin' out over a girl, and I chose to help him. End of story."

'Hikaru' thinks back to the feelings he'd felt during the dream. They weren't his own, over his time living as Hikaru, he's gotten way better at differentiating between them. 'Hikaru' wouldn't claim to know the human Hikaru, even with access to his thoughts and feelings, 'Hikaru' has accepted there's some human feelings he'll never understand. 

Still, the feelings running through both Hikaru's mind and body didn't feel like any old thing. They remind 'Hikaru' of Yoshiki's warmth, pressed deep inside him, how 'Hikaru' only ever wanted more and more. That feeling is everything to 'Hikaru', so surely it couldn't have been nothing to him?

'Hikaru' shakes his head, pushing the thoughts away. In the end, it doesn't matter. 'Hikaru' has no say in what the human Hikaru felt, and he doubts Yoshiki would want to hear his guesses and opinions on the matter.

That isn't the point, anyway. This isn't about Hikaru.

"Why'd ya never tell me?" 'Hikaru' asks, and Yoshiki shrugs.

"Dunno," he says, looking off to the side. "Was there ever a need to?"

'Hikaru' frowns. "No… guess not. But— ya still owe me!"

Yoshiki looks back at 'Hikaru' with raised eyebrows, tension already draining out of his expression. "Owe ya… bye kissin' ya? How does that correlate?"

"Well, I've got memories of it now," 'Hikaru' starts, pressing a finger to his lips. "Technically, I remember what it feels like. At least, in a way. But it's not enough, ya know? I wanna know what it feels like."

Yoshiki stares at him, face pink. "Like watchin' movies and eatin' food."

'Hikaru' grins, nodding. "Yeah! See, you get it, Yoshiki!"

Yoshiki lowers his head, a frown pulling his lips down, and 'Hikaru' feels something cold go down his spine.

"Ah, hey," 'Hikaru' starts, rubbing at his neck, "Ya don't gotta, Yoshiki. It's fine! I was just jokin' about the owing thing! I just thought, since ya kissed him, ya might— but, it's cool! I mean, I guess I can always find someone else to try it—"

Yoshiki snaps his head up at the same time he slaps a hand over 'Hikaru's' mouth. 'Hikaru' blinks, looking down at the hand before turning a questioning look up at Yoshiki.

"Shut up," Yoshiki says, "Yer really gonna go kiss some random if I say no?"

'Hikaru' squints. Probably not, no. He can't imagine doing something like that with anyone else, doesn't even want to imagine it. He really only said that so Yoshiki wouldn't feel bad, but…

Yoshiki doesn't look very happy at the prospect, and 'Hikaru's' lips twitch under his hand.

"Maybe," he says slowly, voice muffled, and he watches in fascination as Yoshiki's brows furrow. "Dunno. After that dream, I'm kinda curious…"

"I know what yer doin'," Yoshiki tells him, and 'Hikaru' smiles.

"Do ya?" He asks, and Yoshiki scoffs, dropping his hand. "I really ain't doin' anythin', Yoshiki. I just wanna try kissin' someone for real, and if ya don't wanna do it—"

"I'll do it."

Something tightens in 'Hikaru's' gut. "Really?"

Yoshiki rolls his eyes, running a hand through his hair. "Don't act so surprised. Ya came here wantin' to, yeah? Did ya think I'd say no?"

'Hikaru' wraps his arms around Yoshiki's knees, laying his cheek against them, and grins up at Yoshiki. 

"Careful, Yoshiki. If ya keep sayin' yes to me, I might start feelin' spoiled."

"Yer already spoiled," Yoshiki mutters, running his fingers through 'Hikaru's' hair in a way that has 'Hikaru' melting. 

"Are ya tryin' to distract me?" 'Hikaru' asks, eyes slipping closed as Yoshiki runs his nails over his head. "'Cause it's workin'."

Yoshiki snorts, a small laugh bubbling out of him, and 'Hikaru's' entire body alight with something soft and fuzzy. 

The hand in 'Hikaru's' hair runs down to his face, fingers brushing over his cheek and jaw, before catching under his chin and nudging. 'Hikaru' opens his eyes, blinking up at Yoshiki as those fingers push up, tilting 'Hikaru's' head. 

"My mom and sister will be back soon," he says, his thumb pressing at the space under 'Hikaru's' lips. "And there is no way I'm kissin' ya with them in the house."

'Hikaru' yelps, quickly sitting up and pushing himself forward until he's only a few inches from Yoshiki. "Hey! No fair, why do I get a time limit?"

Yoshiki shrugs, an amused smile on his face. "Not my fault ya wasted so much time bein' dramatic."

'Hikaru' considers arguing, but decides it's not worth it, not now anyway. Instead, he places his hands on Yoshiki's knees, tugging them apart so he can push his way between them. That makes Yoshiki's eyes widen, but he doesn't stop or push 'Hikaru' away. Once situated, 'Hikaru' places his hands on either side of Yoshiki's face, hands gentle. Yoshiki's skin is warm and soft under his palms, and 'Hikaru' nearly gets lost in the feeling.

After a moment, Yoshiki clears his throat, one of his hands coming up to encircle 'Hikaru's' wrist. Not pulling away, but rather simply holding on.

"Ya gonna get on with it?" Yoshiki asks, and 'Hikaru' grins.

"Are ya beggin'?" 'Hikaru' asks, and laughs when Yoshiki gives him a deadpan look. "Okay! Man, yer so mean ta me, Yoshiki."

"Mean to ya? Ya think I'm—"

'Hikaru' presses forward before Yoshiki finishes his sentence, pressing his lips to the bridge of Yoshiki's nose. Yoshiki blinks, going cross-eyed as he attempts o look.

"Uh," he says, "What're ya doin'?"

"Kissin' ya," 'Hikaru' mutters, brushing his lip down until he can leave a small peck on the tip of Yoshiki's nose. He grins, tilting his head down until he can tap their noses together. 

Yoshiki doesn't respond, but 'Hikaru' can pick out the telltale signs of his being flustered easily. 'Hikaru' feels something buzz in his chest, an urge to do something more, so he presses forward again, kissing at the soft skin under Yoshiki's eyes.

"Yer so soft, Yoshiki," 'Hikaru' says, and he feels Yoshiki's punched out breath against his neck. "I like it."

"Stop bein' so chatty," Yoshiki complains, tilting his head up only to huff when 'Hikaru' backs off. "I thought ya wanted to try kissin'?"

'Hikaru' smiles, tightening his grip on Yoshiki's face. Yoshiki will never admit it, but he's definitely pouting, and 'Hikaru' feels a laugh bubble up at the sight. He wants to take a picture, keep this moment suspended in time forever. 

"Yer beautiful," 'Hikaru' says, and Yoshiki chokes.

"That's— don't say that!"

"Why not?" 'Hikaru' asks, his hands falling to Yoshiki's shoulders, squeezing the muscle there. "It's the truth."

"That's not really somethin' ya say to a guy," Yoshiki mutters, "That's more a compliment for girls."

'Hikaru' frowns, tilting his head. "Is it? I don't think so… many things are beautiful. Sunsets, the ocean, flowers. Even non-physical things, like the times we study together at the library, or the afternoons we spend hangin' out at the creek. I think all those things are beautiful. And I think you're beautiful, not just 'cause a what ya look like, but because bein' with ya makes me feel good. I think… I think that's beautiful."

Yoshiki's eyes are wide, his face flushed a deep red, and he breathes out heavily, burying his face in his hands. "What the hell is wrong with ya?"

'Hikaru' frowns, leaning forward as he tries to see Yoshiki's expression past the wall his hands make. "What? What? Did I say somethin' wrong? Yoshiki? Yoshiki, are ya okay? What did I do—"

'Hikaru' is cut off from his worry by Yoshiki grabbing the collar of his shirt and tugging him in. 'Hikaru' yelps, but it's quickly muffled by the hard press of Yoshiki's lips against his. 'Hikaru's' mind briefly flashes back to the dream, but it's quickly wiped away by the overwhelming urge to press closer. 'Hikaru' doesn't see any reason to deny himself off this, so he moves, pressing up against Yoshiki, shivering at the feeling of his skin, even through their layers of clothing.

Yoshiki pulls back, eliciting a whine from 'Hikaru'. Yoshiki laughs, cupping his face in his hands and squeezing lightly. 

"You've been readin' too much romance mangas, huh?" Yoshiki teases.

"Nuh-uh, all of that came from my heart!"

Yoshiki's grin softens, his grip turning gentle as he runs his thumbs along 'Hikaru's' cheeks.

"Yer… beautiful too, ya know," Yoshiki says, "Every bit of ya."

'Hikaru' blinks, something sharp sings in his gut, and he swallows, breathing rapidly as he tries to keep himself under control. He can feel his insides tugging at the edge of his eye, desperate to flow out and touch, feel. Instead, he uses his hand, pressing it to the bare skin right above the collar of Yoshiki's shirt.

"Ya really think so?" 'Hikaru' asks, fingers brushing over the dip of his collar bone. Yoshiki's breathing stutters.

"Yeah," he says, quiet, his own hand coming up to tease at 'Hikaru's neck. He presses down, like he's searching for something. He swallows, before bringing his eyes up to meet 'Hikaru's'. "You… ya don't have ta hold back."

At his words, a split opens up right under where Yoshiki's fingers are pressing. 'Hikaru's' body shudders, and his eyes slip closed as Yoshiki willingly presses in deeper.

"Yoshiki," 'Hikaru' whispers.

Yoshiki's free hand comes up to wrap around the back of his neck, and before he knows it, 'Hikaru' is being pulled forward, dragged back into a kiss as Yoshiki's fingers press in one after another. 'Hikaru's' brain short circuits, and he hears a noise slip out of his mouth, quickly swallowed up by Yoshiki's lips. 'Hikaru's' chest splits open under Yoshiki's ministrations, and he stutters out a whine as Yoshiki buries his hand up to his wrist. 

It feels like fire, like 'Hikaru's' never been warm up until this moment. All he can think about is Yoshiki's hand in his hair, tugging, his other buried inside of him, swirling through the mess like he's unafraid. Yoshiki licks into his mouth, and 'Hikaru' can't help but open up for him there, too. His tongue is warm as it brushes against 'Hikaru's', and without thinking, 'Hikaru' bites down on it.

Yoshiki hisses, but instead of pulling away, his hand slips further into 'Hikaru's' chest, rough, like it's meant to be some kind of punishment. If it is, 'Hikaru' doesn't get what lesson he's supposed to be learning, because all it does is make him keen, back arching.

Yoshiki doesn't let up on kissing him, either. 'Hikaru' sort of feels like he's being devoured, and it makes something primal in him tense. 'Hikaru's' hand comes up to Yoshiki's neck, fingers pressing against his pulse point. It's rapid, pounding against 'Hikaru's' touch.

'Hikaru' jerks his head away, though something in his vehemently protests removing his lips from Yoshiki's. Yoshiki gives him a confused look, but 'Hikaru's' too busy ducking down towards his neck, replacing his fingers with his mouth. He can feel the vibrations of Yoshiki's gasp against his lips, and he bites, craving the taste of Yoshiki's pulse, of his life.

He feels Yoshiki's hand twitch inside him, and he moans, pressing closer. It pushes Yoshiki's hand in further, nearly up to his elbow now, and 'Hikaru's' sure he's panting like a dog, but he can't help it.

"Yoshiki," 'Hikaru' says, though it sounds more like a plea. "Please. Can you— please, please, can you put it in deeper? Please, Yoshiki, can you?"

He hears Yoshiki curse, and soon enough, he feels Yoshiki press in deeper. His hand wiggles around, his fingers latching onto anything they can, and 'Hikaru' feels euphoric. His head lays limp on Yoshiki's shoulder, his tongue darting out to lick at his neck ever so often. His eyes are glued to where they're connected, Yoshiki buried up to past his elbow now. Both of their chests are rising and falling rapidly, and 'Hikaru' feels so in sync, so connected, that something in the back of his brain snaps.

Without meaning to, 'Hikaru's' insides spill from out his chest, curling around Yoshiki's bicep eagerly. 'Hikaru' can feel all of that, that smooth skin, can taste the sweat lingering there. He can't stop himself as it climbs up his arm, over his shoulder. He watches with a heady gaze as it climbs up Yoshiki's neck. Yoshiki has to know, yet he's not pulling away, not telling 'Hikaru' to reel it in.

"Ya don't have ta hold back."

The words ring through his mind, and 'Hikaru' let's out a breath whine. He pushes himself upwards, leaning heavily against Yoshiki's body as he mouths at edge of Yoshiki's lips.

"Can I, too?" 'Hikaru' asks, and he sounds delirious. Yoshiki doesn't look too much better, glancing down at 'Hikaru' with glazed over eyes. "Yoshiki, can I? Can I put it in, too?"

Yoshiki knocks their foreheads together, and 'Hikaru' takes the chance to lick at Yoshiki's bottom lip. Yoshiki swears under his breath, before using the hand still in his hair to tug him forward, connecting them once more. 'Hikaru' moans, the sound mixing with Yoshiki's own, and lets go.

'Hikaru' spills into Yoshiki's mouth, his insides shaped like a tongue, feeling and memorizing ever inch of Yoshiki's mouth. 'Hikaru' can feel Yoshiki drool against his lips, but he doesn't pull back, so 'Hikaru' pushes farther. He pushes down Yoshiki's throat, and his entire body jolts as he feels Yoshiki contract around him, something in his gut twisting. 

He pulls back, panting, his insides slowly seeping out of Yoshiki's mouth. 'Hikaru's' eyes widen, because Yoshiki looks like a mess. His hair is roughed up, his face seems to be stained a permanent pink, and there's a line of drool leaking from his lips. 'Hikaru' moves forward, wanting to lick it away, but Yoshiki shoves him back, his arm falling out of 'Hikaru's' chest as 'Hikaru's' back hits the bed.

'Hikaru' isn't left along for long. Yoshiki climbs over him, his hands tugging at 'Hikaru's' shirt. It takes him a second to get the memo, but eventually he peels it off, tossing it to the floor before his hands find the hem of Yoshiki's. Yoshiki pauses, his brows furrowing, but when he looks up at 'Hikaru', something in his expression must calm him, as he let's 'Hikaru' pull it off.

'Hikaru's' hands rove over the expanse of bare skin, fascination filling him as Yoshiki's stomach twitches under his fingers. His skin is warm, his torso dotted with little freckles and moles.

"Beautiful," 'Hikaru' decides once more, before taking one hand and placing it on his own stomach. He grins up at Yoshiki as he brings it up, his chest splitting open.

Yoshiki scoffs, but there's a grin on his face. "Yer so greedy," he says, but that doesn't stop him from leaning down, hands planted on either side of his body. 'Hikaru' is curious about what he's doing for all of two seconds, before Yoshiki's tongue darts out and licks a long, dragging stripe through the slit. 'Hikaru' gasps, the wet warmth making his back arch, and he stares up at a grinning Yoshiki, who seems rather proud of himself for the reaction he caused. 

"Yoshiki," 'Hikaru' says, his voice hoarse, and Yoshiki drops his head, a strangled noise escaping him. 

"Sorry," he says, resting his weight on 'Hikaru's' hips so he can run his hands along 'Hikaru's' waist. "Couldn't help myself. Been thinkin' about doin' that fer a while."

'Hikaru' nearly blanks out. "Ya have?" He asks, too loud for the setting. Yoshiki only laughs, fingers tracing the slit in his stomach reverently. 

"Mm," Yoshiki hums, "Really, I've been thinkin' about… a few things."

"Why'd ya never tell me?" 'Hikaru' asks. "Ya know I'd say yes. Ten times over."

Yoshiki grins, but it's a bit sad. It makes something twinge in 'Hikaru's' chest, an odd feeling with the way Yoshiki's still trailing his fingers along his stomach.

"That's why," he says softly, "You've said ya don't really feel desire, let alone sexual desire. Yet, yer always so willin' to try new things, do whatever I want. I guess… I didn't wanna take advantage of ya."

'Hikaru' grabs Yoshiki's hand, intertwining their fingers together. Yoshiki looks up at him, still wearing that sad little smile.

"Yoshiki," he says, "Just 'cause I don't feel sexual desire like ya do, don't mean I don't want stuff like this. I don't know how to explain it, all I know is that doing this, with you, makes me feel good. And making ya feel good makes me feel good, too.

"Ya aren't takin' advantage of me with this stuff. If I didn't want it, then I wouldn't do it. It's that easy."

"It's that easy," Yoshiki repeat quietly, and 'Hikaru' watches him closely. The sadness drips from his smile, but something similar replaces it. "Is it really?"

"For us," 'Hikaru' says, and that makes Yoshiki blinks.

Yoshiki stares at him for a long moment, before something hot and heavy enters his gaze. Yoshiki laces their free hands together, before tugging them both up and above 'Hikaru's' head. 'Hikaru' blinks, confused, but when Yoshiki descends on him for another kiss, everything in his head melts away.

—

"Where'd ya even hear of this game?"

'Hikaru'hums happily as he takes out a stick of strawberry pocky, balancing it between his lips as he wiggles his eyebrows at Yoshiki.

"Saw it on youtube," he says, voice muffled, the stick bouncing with every word. "C'mon, it'll be fun! Don't tell me yer a chicken?"

'Hikaru' makes various chicken noises, and Yoshiki rolls his eyes. He shuffles forward until his knees bump against 'Hikaru's', and 'Hikaru' tries to tamp down his grin as Yoshiki gingerly places the other end of the pocky in his mouth.

'Hikaru' takes the first bite, his eyes narrowing mischievously as it puts him a few centimeters closer to Yoshiki. Yoshiki huffs through his nose, and takes a large bite, putting him close enough to 'Hikaru' for their noses together touch.

"Hey!" 'Hikaru' shouts as best he can, "Man, ya wanna kiss me that badly, huh?"

"I don't need a silly game ta kiss ya," Yoshiki mumbles, and 'Hikaru' grins.

Taking another bite, 'Hikaru' tilts his head, his nose bumping against Yoshiki's cheek, their lips close enough to brush.

Yoshiki doesn't move for another bite, long enough that 'Hikaru' snickers.

"Ya really are a chicken!" 'Hikaru' exclaims. He's about to pull back to declare his victory, when the back of his head is snatched, and he's pulled in.

It's less of a kiss and more of a battle for the last piece of pocky. 'Hikaru' bites Yoshiki's lip, and in retaliation, Yoshiki pulls his hair.

"Ow!" 'Hikaru' yelps, pulling back. "That hurt."

When 'Hikaru' looks up, he gasps. Yoshiki, sitting there grinning, with the last piece of pocket between his teeth. 'Hikaru' watches in horror as Yoshiki pulls it into his mouth, and he wails as Yoshiki chews.

"No fair! Yer a cheater!"

"All's fair in love and war," Yoshiki says, taking another stick of pocky out of the box. He puts it between his lips as 'Hikaru' bemoans his loss. "Round two?"

'Hikaru' narrows his eyes. "Yer just gonna cheat again."

Yoshiki shakes his head, pressing his hand to his heart. "On my honor, I won't."

"Ya don't have any honor," 'Hikaru' grumbles, and Yoshiki pinches his ear.

"Don't be such a sore loser, 'Hikaru'."

"Ow! Yoshiki!"