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Usually, being teamed up with Keith for a mission would elicit an annoyed response from Lance. The Blue Paladin would immediately question the reasoning behind such a choice, even though Shiro never really explained himself. It was always chalked down to the competitive relationship between the boys and how working together would be beneficial to the two of them. They were a team, after all.
So, when Lance said nothing in response, Keith’s stomach twisted.
It wasn’t like he expected all of team Voltron to be one-hundred percent okay with his Galra heritage. The Galra were their main enemy—they enslaved and destroyed planets and were merciless with their work. But, he still hadn’t expected them to react the way they did.
None of them had spoken a word when it was revealed Keith was part Galra—instead, they just stared in confusion and concern. The look of relief his teammates had when Keith returned from the Blade of Marmora base gave Keith a light, airy feeling inside him—happiness. Watching that expression be replaced with something that resembled fear hurt more than any of the wounds he received during his battles.
Maybe that was why Shiro thought it was a good idea to send him and Lance on a mission together—maybe he thought it would help things go back to normal by having Keith reconnect with the team one paladin at a time. Really, Keith viewed the attempt as futile, but he didn’t argue. He simply nodded and prepared for the mission.
*
Apparently, they were heading towards a planet with deep caverns that held a material necessary for the Teleduv. Coran had said it would help stabilize the machine or something. Keith wasn’t really paying attention, his thoughts still muddled after all that occurred during and after his trip to the Marmora base.
The planet they landed on was barren. It reminded Keith of the planet he and Shiro landed on after the wormhole—no vegetation whatsoever and dirt everywhere. He expected Lance to make a comment of some sort, but the silence just continued.
Keith scowled as they landed the pod. “Let’s go, I already see some of the caverns,” he muttered, grabbing his bayard before exiting, his weapon slightly shaking in his hand as he gripped it tightly. He heard the sound of Lance’s footfalls behind him, so he didn’t turn to make sure Lance was following him.
It didn’t take long at all to get to the end of the cavern. Coran had said the planet was pretty peaceful—apparently, the only thing worth noting was the awful dust storms it would get every one hundred years, but one had already passed before Keith and Lance arrived. Keith felt like there would be some sort of twist as he shoved the materials in bags, but both of them gathered the resources without issue.
“Coran said if we almost filled both the bags, we would have enough for the Teleduv. Let’s head back,” said Keith, throwing the bag over his shoulder. He felt his footing almost fail him—the bag felt a lot lighter in his arms—but prevailed and began his venture back up.
There was only silence. At an earlier time, a quiet Lance would have been a blessing for Keith. But, that was back when Keith just met the other and all Lance could do was talk about their rivalry. They became friends, though, and soon Keith found their arguing to become more like banter—less and less insulting and more playful.
They were still friends, right? Keith was still friends with everyone in the Castle of Lions, wasn’t he?
Wasn’t he?
The thoughts continued to swirl in his head as he made his way back to the entrance of the cavern. When he saw the sliver of yellow sky peaking in through the entrance, Keith kept going. He couldn’t deal with it right now—the isolation he was being forced into by his fellow paladins, the looks of fear that they all shared. If he turned around now, would he see Lance looking at him with that same face?
Keith didn’t look back. He looked down at the dirt underneath his feet and scrunched his eyes close. The cavern floor was predictable and flat, so he didn’t fear tripping and falling. He couldn’t say he cared either. He didn’t want to open his eyes again—all he coukd imagine was their faces. Allura’s and Hunk’s and Pidge’s. And Lance’s.
His chest and throat began to feel tight and in a desperate attempt to let go of some of the stress, Keith gripped his inactivated bayard in his free hand. He had lost them, hadn’t he? He finally had a family again, and once again they decided they didn’t want him anymore.
Keith could feel his mind threaten to wander even deeper into those torturous thoughts, but then he felt a strong wind rip through his body. As soon as Keith opened his eyes, a hand clasped onto his free shoulder and roughly pulled him back. He grunted when he fell on his bottom and almost snapped at Lance until he saw the chaotic sight outside the cave entrance—an awful storm.
“Coran said there wouldn’t be a storm,” he found himself saying. The structure of the cave’s entrance kept the wind and the dirt it carried from getting inside, but Keith still found himself scooting back.
“Ha, isn’t this fantastic,” grumbled Lance. His laugh was hollow as sat himself down. Near the edge of the cave wall the ground was raised a bit, acting like a makeshift bench. He removed his helmet and shook his head, trying to fix his helmet-hair. “Didn’t Coran say these storms only last a few hours, though?”
Keith didn’t immediately respond. He was momentarily shocked, he didn’t think he’d hear Lance talk to him so soon. “I don’t remember, but maybe. We’ll just have to sit here until it passes.”
“Do you think our pod will still be there?”
“I don’t know, but when the storm blows over, we should be able to contact the castle. Right now there’s too much interference.”
Keith sat down not too far from Lance after removing his own helmet, and soon the silence came back. Even the cacophony of wind outside didn’t reach Keith’s ears. Just silence—awful, impenetrable silence that threatened to drown Keith.
“Look, I don’t even care anymore,” Keith lied, “just say it.”
Lance didn’t reply, but Keith could feel his gaze fall on him. Keith kept his own eyes glued to the ground.
“Just say you hate me like the rest of all the paladins, okay? So then I won’t have to wonder if things will get better. Just … just say it.”
And Keith didn’t know why he anticipated just that. But he did, and he felt his body tense up as he waited for the reply—the confession of hatred. His hands curled around his knees as he slightly hunched in on himself. Yet, the confession he feared never came.
“What are you—I don’t hate you, Keith.”
Relief hit Keith. He felt relaxation course through his tense muscles, and found his eyes being immediately drawn to Lance. The crushing feeling inside of him felt lifted, but the persistent taunts that riddled his brain were precisely that—persistent.
Lance gave him a look that seemed genuine—his eyes were wide and desperately searching Keith’s face as if he was trying to understand what was happening. Keith knew he wouldn’t fake a look like that, but he also knew that being wrong would devastate him.
“Ha, that’s real funny,” scoffed Keith, though his words lacked any malice. He just needed—craved—that reassurance. “You could have fooled me with the whole silent treatment.”
Keith felt his stomach twist when he saw Lance wince at his words, and he already regretted saying them. But, the misery and nagging thoughts that ran rampant through his mind gave him an ache, and he needed relief.
He didn’t want that at the expense of Lance, though.
Even though Keith was known for his agility and speed, Lance managed to beat him with a response.
“Everyone’s been weird since they found out you were Galra—the entire atmosphere has been tense,” began Lance. He shifted his focus back to the ground, tearing it away from Keith’s eyes. “I thought the last thing you’d want would be me bothering you, or whatever. I’m sorry.”
Keith’s facial features relaxed, then he shook his head. “Lance, no—I’m sorry for what I said. Communication is a two-way street, after all. I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything.”
Finally, Lance’s gaze fell back on Keith. It was soothing in a way, but Keith knew he brought up an issue that still needed to be resolved.
“That’s one person, at least,” he mumbled to himself, though it was loud enough for Lance to hear. So, Shiro, Coran, and Lance didn’t resent him. Which was good, but that still left the other half of Team Voltron.
“Hey, come on. Pidge and Hunk—they probably felt the same as me. Y’know, everything’s been really tense. I mean, let’s take Pidge,” began Lance. He hoisted himself up from his seat and began pacing around, gathering his thoughts. He stopped a few feet in front of Keith, and his shoulders drooped as he rubbed the back of his head. “Look,” he continued softly, staring Keith in the eyes, “the Galra, they took Pidge’s family. But, she considers us her family, too. She knows you’re not like the Galra that took away her brother and father.”
Lance took a seat next to Keith. “And Hunk—listen, you’d have to do something like, awful to get him to dislike you. And Allura, she’ll come around, just give her some time to sort things out.”
A sense of clarity was beginning to return to Keith—he felt like he could finally think through the dark thoughts that clouded his mind. Then, he felt a bit foolish. He clasped his hands together and hunched inwards.
“You’re probably right—I guess I let my fear get the best of me,” he mumbled with a sad smile. “It’s just that, I was afraid I lost everyone. With Team Voltron, I felt like I finally understood what having a family was like. So after everything that happened, I thought I was going to lose that. I thought I was going to be left behind. Again.”
Keith changed his posture and leaned himself back until he hit the cave wall. He caught a sympathetic look from Lance.
“Family doesn’t abandon anyone,” Lance whispered with a frown.
“Sometimes, they do.”
Lance paused, taken aback by Keith’s comment. Bringing up his past wasn’t something Keith was fond of, but he was finding comfort in spilling everything to Lance.
“Well, not this one. Not us.”
There was a warm presence on Keith’s shoulder—Lance’s hand. The Blue Paladin was giving him a smile similar to back when Keith had rescued him from Sendak, but there was more of a broken look inside his eyes. A look of understanding, as if Lance fully comprehended what Keith was feeling. But, there was a hopeful gleam as well, a look that said “I’m on your side.”
Then, the warmth left his shoulder.
“I mean, they wouldn’t toss anyone aside that easily,” laughed Lance, but his laugh was hollow and forced. “I’m still here, aren’t I?”
“Lance, what are—“
“Oh, come on. I appreciate you lying for my sake, but let’s be honest, okay?” Keith winced at Lance’s tone—it was bitter and angry and hurt. “If—if Team Voltron was to get rid of anyone it would be …”
Lance turned his body away from Keith, angling himself so Keith could barely see his face.
“It would be me.”
Lance slouched, resting an elbow on his knees and then his head on his open palm. He made no other move, prompting Keith to scoot closer.
“Lance …”
“Hey, why don’t we try to contact Coran? The storm seems to be dying down, maybe we’ll be able to—“
“Lance,” Keith repeated firmly. The other boy winced, but eventually he turned so his back faced the cave’s wall, not Keith. “What’s wrong?”
“No, forget I said anything. It’s not about me right now.”
“Lance, it doesn’t matter who it’s about. Something’s bothering you—and if you really don’t want to talk about it, fine, I won’t pester you. But, to me it seems like not talking about it is more painful.”
Lance kept his eyes downcast, but Keith could see how they wavered—how at any moment, tears threatened to fill them. It broke Keith’s heart because Lance was—well, Lance. Annoying, but charming in his own way. He could be irritating with his incessant flirting, but he had a good heart and good intentions. Lance was bright and always smiling—so to be sitting next to a Lance that was near the point of breaking felt unnatural. It felt wrong.
And Keith—he didn’t know how to comfort people. Before becoming the Red Paladin, he only had Shiro before the latter vanished for a year. Interacting with people wasn’t something Keith was skilled at, and trying to comfort them was something he was even worst at. But for Lance, he’d try.
Just like how Lance previously did, Keith rested his hand on the Blue Paladin’s shoulder. Lance reacted to the touch, but didn’t pull away. Instead, he turned to look at Keith with a forced smile.
Keith frowned—he wasn’t buying it. And then, Lance broke. His mouth trembled as tears filled his eyes. He jumped out of his seat and began to rub away the tears before they could fall down his face.
“Isn’t it obvious?” he sobbed, still trying to hide the fact he was crying by furiously wiping any tears that fell. “I’m the weakest link on the team. I’m … I’m...”
Lance dropped his arms to his sides, allowing his tears to fall as he stared blankly on the ground. “I’m just Lance. I’m not special like the rest of you guys. Shiro’s a great leader and Pidge and Hunk—they’re both super smart and able to create things. And you—you’re unafraid to rush into danger. Me, on the other hand?”
Keith watched as Lance lowered himself to the cave floor, pulling his legs in towards his chest and hiding his face behind his knees. He spun away from Keith, probably not wanting his teammate to see him in such a state. “I don’t have a thing. I’m just … here. I tried to tell myself that maybe—just maybe—there’s something special about me. But … I can’t find anything. No matter how hard I try to convince myself, I know that deep down, I’m just a screw-up.”
Keith stood up and walked over to Lance. “Lance, that’s not tru-“
“Oh, please. This entire world—galaxy—universe—whatever has been validating my fears from the beginning. I moved up in the garrison because you flunked out, not because I put in hard work. I—I, it’s like no matter how hard I try, I’m just not good enough.”
Keith stood up and walked towards Lance, lowering himself on the ground behind the Blue Paladin so that their backs were facing each other. He leaned towards Lance so that their backs were just touching while his legs were stretched out on the floor. Lance stiffened behind him, but didn’t move away.
“Hey Lance,” he began, looking up towards the ceiling of the cave. “I can’t make you feel any kind of way, but maybe I can tell you how I feel.”
The back of his head softly met the back of Lance’s head, and Keith could feel Lance relax behind him.
“Personally, I think you’re amazing.”
Keith could feel Lance shake behind him, and wondered if the other started crying again, but he continued on.
“All this talk about ‘things’ or whatever—are you saying you don’t contribute or something? Because you don’t run headfirst into danger like me? Because you can’t say confusing things like Hunk and Pidge?—look, I get they’re saying intellectual stuff, but I don’t usually understand what they’re saying. Lance, do you remember when we got teamed up during our mission on the Balmera?”
Lance scoffed, though his voice still sounded weak and broken. “I was teamed up with you, of course I remember that awful experience.”
Keith smiled. “Well, when we saw all those Galra sentries, I was going to just wipe them out, but you stopped me. You stopped me and thought of a better plan so that the Balmera wasn’t hurt.”
“So?”
Keith spun around and scooted up towards Lance, once again resting his hand on the Blue Paladin’s shoulder. “So,” he said, looking at Lance with a soft smile, “you protected the Balmera. Lance, you’re able to figure things like that out, and you’re willing to do so much to protect others. You pushed Coran out of the way during that explosion. I was … really worried about you after that.”
Lance turned his head and made eye-contact with Keith. “You were?”
“Of course I was. And—and then you not talking to me after the whole Galra thing, that scared me a lot, too. The thought of losing you—it’s terrifying. You flirt and boast about yourself all the time, but you feel like home. You think that we would be okay with losing you, but … Shiro might be the head of Voltron, but you’re like the heart. You’re like an embodiment of what Voltron is to everyone—a protector.”
Keith wanted to see Lance’s reaction, but he was pulled forward and suddenly he felt arms wrap around him. He felt Lance shake, but also heard him laugh as the other buried his head into Keith’s shoulder.
“Heh, Keith, you say such ridiculous things.”
Keith scowled, but didn’t remove himself from Lance’s embrace. “Oh, come on! I was being honest with everything I said.”
“I know. Thank you.”
Lance’s arms wrapped tighter around Keith, and Keith finally returned the gesture. He held Lance as the Blue Paladin cried and didn’t let go until Lance did.
“Hey, Lance?” asked Keith once Lance’s cries died down to just sniffles. “No matter what happens, I’ll be on your side. So … you don’t have to worry about being thrown away or anything—I’ll stick with you—I promise.”
And Lance gave him a look that was just like the one he gave Keith when they had their bonding moment, but his eyes are glistening. “Keith, I’ll stick with you, too. No matter what happens.”
Keith rose to his feet and offered a hand to Lance, pulling the other paladin up. They exchanged a look for a few moments, and Keith swore he felt the distance between them was becoming smaller and smaller as Lance drew closer until a blaring noise shook through the cave.
“Keith? Keith, do you copy?”
It was Coran’s frantic voice—the interference from the storm must have finally ended. Keith ran over to his helmet and placed it on his hand.
“Coran, I’m here. Lance and I are fine. We took shelter in one of the caves.”
“Oh, thank goodness. I knew you two would probably be okay, but I was still worried. The castle is entering the planet’s atmosphere right now—I have visuals on the pod you came in, and it doesn’t seem like you’ll be able to leave the way you came. We’ll be landing shortly, the storm’s over.”
“Okay, Coran, we’ll be out in a minute.”
Keith removed his helmet and rested it between his arms and chest. He walked back to Lance, who had a disappointed look on his face. Keith had a remedy.
Quickly, he pressed his lips onto Lance’s and as soon as the kiss started, it ended. Keith pulled away and looked at Lance’s wide eyes. Then, Keith ran out of the entrance. “Lance, I’ll beat you to the castle!”
He waved at Lance—the other paladin was frozen for a brief moment before a scowl formed over his face. “Hey, no fair!” he shouted, grabbing his helmet and running after the Red Paladin.
When Lance finally caught up to Keith and ran beside him, Keith realized that even without the promise, they would always be on each other’s side.