Archive of Our Own ^beta

Kara is tired. Exhausted.

Alex is busy. Happy. And that’s what Kara’s always wanted for her. Winn and James have decided they’re a team of their own, and that’s… fine, she guesses. And Mon-El, who could have been her friend, who could understand… Despite having powers, despite being the last of his kind, despite everything they share, Mon-El is just another guy who just doesn't relate to her. At least he's gone now.

Kara is tired, and alone.

She runs a finger on the frame of her glasses, now resting on the table, trying to find the strength to go back to being Kara Danvers. She could really use a friend right now. Then she remembers that, maybe, she has one.

- - -

“Miss Danvers!” Lena’s voice sound a little tired, but cheerful.  

“Mh… Hi… I… I thought we were on a first name basis?”

“Yes, absolutely, I'm sorry Kara” the CEO is shuffling some papers, and Kara can almost picture her holding her phone between her ear and her shoulder “It’s a habit, you called my work phone.” 

“That’s the only number I have” Kara explains.

“Ah, well, that makes sense. How can I help you? Isn’t it a bit late for an interview?"

Kara glances at the clock, and realises it’s almost 11pm. “Gosh, I-I didn't realise it was so late! I’m so sorry…”

“Nothing to be sorry about. I’m leaving the office now, though, so if you need anything from L-Corp I’m afraid it will have to wait until tomorrow.” 

“You're still working?” Kara says, surprised.

“Aren't you?” Lena asks.

“Actually, I’m not, I… this is going to sound a little desperate, so please don’t judge, but I had a pretty rough day and I could really use a friend right now.” 

There’s a silence on the other end of the line, broken by a surprised “Oh.”

“I-I mean, it's late, I really didn’t check the time, I shouldn't have-“

“Kara, it’s fine. I'm heading to a cocktail bar not far from L-Corp. Why don't you join me?”

“Oh you have plans, I-“

“Kara” Lena makes sure the reporter can feel the resolution in her voice “please come. I’ll send you the address, ok?”

Kara nods, grateful, before she realises they’re on a phone call, so she says “Ok. Thank you, Lena."

“See you in a bit, then.” 

- - -

“Here’s the address. I’ll leave your name with the security guy, and just fyi they have a no trainers policy. x"

Kara smiles a little. At least she won't be alone tonight, and she doesn't have to pull Alex out of the blissful night she's probably having with Maggie. She changes into a dress and matching kitten heels, and takes a taxi to the place. She’s too tired even to fly.

When she reaches the address, Kara thinks she may have gotten it wrong. There’s black door on a black wall, and a security guard wearing a high-visibility vest. She uses her telescopic vision to check the entirely too small for human eyes steel plaque with the name of the bar - Ozone - laser cut onto it. 

“That’s the place” she tells herself, and briskly walks towards the door.

The security guard looks her up and down, frowning a little. “Are you lost, ma’am?” he asks, politely, and Kara figures she probably doesn’t look like the kind of person who normally attends this type of place.

“A friend is waiting for me inside, I believe.” She says as confidently as she can “My name is Kara Danvers.”

He quickly glances at a very short list on his notepad, and lets her in. The door leads to a steep staircase, and Kara walks up one floor to enter a very spacious, very dark cocktail bar. The dim light is warm, the music soft and mellow, the place almost empty. She looks around, and spots Lena sitting in a booth with a Martini.

“Hey” she says as she sits on the opposite side, and Lena gives her a warm smile.

“Hi, Kara” she greets “I wasn't sure what to get for you, what do you fancy?”

“Water is fine” Kara shrugs, pretty sure she can't afford anything that’s on the menu.

“Nonsense” Lena protests “Don't take this the wrong way, but you really look like you could use a drink.” Kara smiles, and pushes her glasses up a little. She doesn’t deny.

“Sweet? Sour? Are you a beer sort of person?” Lena insists.

“I do like sweet cocktails” Kara admits.

“Will you trust me to pick one for you, then?”

“Sure.” Lena's in her element, and Kara immediately feels at ease. With a subtle gesture, the CEO calls a waiter and orders something Kara can’t quite pronounce, then, once he’s left, she rests her elbows on the table and tilts her head.

“So, what’s happening?” she asks “What’s making the most cheerful reporter in National City so moody?”

Kara lets out a short laugh, and watches Lena take a small sip of her drink. She finds it a bit hard to start. Hell, how does she explain to Lena that her friends have decided to be superheroes for the all the wrong reasons?

“I must say” Lena continues “I was pretty surprised you called me. I’d expect you to be the type of person who has a flock of friends around all the time."

Kara shakes her head, surprised. “I don’t, actually” she explains “I’ve never had many friends. I’ve always tried to go unnoticed.”

“I don't think you're doing a great job at that, Kara” Lena smiles “I’m sure whoever meets you, even once, irremediably gravitates towards you.”

“Maybe” Kara shrugs, at this point she’ll take a compliment if one comes her way “but then, they all… they never… why can't people just be friends?” 

“Mh, I feel like we're onto something here” Lena teases, and Kara rolls her eyes.

“I’m sorry, I’m not explaining myself very well.” she admits. Her drink comes, and she takes a sip. “Mh, this is delicious!” 

“I’m glad you like it. So, want to start from the beginning, and tell me what’s bothering you?” Lena’s smile is so open and encouraging, Kara feels like she could tell her anything.

“It’s just… Winn is my best friend, right? We work so well as friends! But he developed feelings for me, and then he kissed me, and things got awkward for a bit. And James… I liked James. A lot. I thought maybe we could be together, you know, like… together” she moves her hands, and looks at Lena as to ask “you know what I mean, right?” And Lena nods, even if she’s only starting to grasp what Kara is trying to say, because she thinks the reporter just needs to babble until she can make sense of what’s happening herself.

“But then we started to get… intimate, and I don't… I  really don't think I… uff” she puffs, frustratedly, and cover her face with both hands. Lena leans in, and pulls one hand away from her face, a little worried.

“Kara, have you been… forced to do anything?”

“What? No!” Kara shakes her head, and Lena looks relieved “It’s just… I don’t mind kissing, you know? I like it. But it’s never enough. Once you start, people want more.” 

“And you don't.” Lena says. It’s not a question. Kara nods, and looks so, so guilty. Lena is still holding her hand, and rubs a thumb over her knuckles. “Kara, you don't owe anything to anyone” she reassures “you only need to go as far as you’re comfortable, and only if you want to. You shouldn't let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“But they looked so heartbroken” she sniffles “And tonight, Mike…”

“Mike of the Interns?” Lena checks, and Kara chuckles, wetly.

“Yes, Mike of the Interns… a couple weeks ago he kissed me. He was, like, delirious or something, and the day after he said he didn't remember. But tonight he confessed his undying love for me” Kara’s tone is sarcastic, if a little sad “And I don't know what to do. I just want one friend. One friend who doesn’t want anything more than that.”

“Well, would you look at that” Lena comments, with a smug grin “Poor Kara, too irresistible. Some people are just cursed with beauty and charm.” 

Kara laughs again, and wipes a tear from her cheek. She’s about to reply when a man in a suit approaches them.

“Good evening, Miss” he greets Lena first, and she regards him, slowly.

“Hello, Robert.” She gives him a subtle nod, and he turns to Kara. 

“Hi, I’m Robert” he says, and offers a hand. Kara takes it, and can't help noticing his demeanor is much friendlier and informal when he speaks to her rather than to Lena. 

“Kara, nice to meet you.”

“My pleasure” he says, then turns back to Lena “Are you… busy tonight, Miss?"

“Yes, darling, I’m afraid tonight I’m quite… taken.” Lena’s tone is polite, yet authoritative. 

“I understand, Miss.”

“Another day.” she concludes, and he nods, respectfully.

“Have a nice evening, Kara” he smiles, then walks away. Kara watches him turn around the bar and disappear in a booth, alone.

“Mh, Lena” the reporter says, confused “What… what kind of place is this?”

“It's just a club. Not many people know about it, and it has rooms available for members.”

“So is it like… a sex club?” Kara watches her with a hint of horror, and Lena hurries to reassure her.

“No, Kara, it’s just a cocktail bar. I come here to unwind after work. Robert and I are… regulars, sometime we take one of the rooms to play. Sometimes I just sleep here because I’m too tired to go home.”

Kara looks at her, puzzled. “To play? Like, board games?”

“Oh, Kara” Lena shakes her head “You are something else.”

Kara pouts, almost offended, and Lena really can't help noticing how soft her features are. Her jawline, her lips, her blue, shiny eyes, the eyebrows coming together in a small crinkle. Kara Danvers is soft and delicate and all Lena wants is to protect her from everything that’s evil in the world. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” Lena asks, noticing Kara's finished her drink. And Kara would like to say that no, it doesn't matter that there’s smooth jazz playing in the background, and an incredibly attractive man waiting for Lena to get rid of her, and cocktails that probably cost more than her lunch, but it must take her a little too long to put it into words because Lena stands up and grabs her purse. “Come on, let’s go” she says, and Kara smiles, grateful.

Once they’re out, Lena leaves a generous tip to the security guard, then invites Kara to follow her.

“It’s quite warm tonight” Lena notes “Fancy a walk?” she offers an arm for Kara to grab, and the reporter happily accepts it.

“I have to say I feel more comfortable out here.” Kara admits, and Lena hums. “Are you sure I'm not spoiling your evening? I mean, Robert seemed very keen on… playing, or whatever, tonight.”

Lena chuckles. “Don't worry, Kara. Rob and I are not the only regulars, he’ll find a play partner for the night. You need a friend, and, frankly, so do I. I’m happy you’re here.”

Kara rests her head of Lena’s shoulder for a moment. Both her arms are wrapped around Lena’s bicep, and she squeezes a little harder as she whispers a 'thank you’. They walk in silence for a bit, along the main road. It's quiet, but not empty yet.

“You know, there are other people like you” Lena says, careful to keep the volume of her voice down. “You're not weird. I mean, you're a little weird, but not because you don't want to have sex.”

“Really?” Kara frowns. She always thought the reason behind her lack of sex drive was the fact the she belongs to another species entirely.

“Yes, I mean, you eat twelve times a day, you fly on buses, and use the most outdated exclamations…"

“No, I know I’m weird, thank you very much.” Kara rolls her eyes "I mean, really, there are other hu- people like me?"

“Yes, of course. You may want to look into it asexuality when you have time. I’m not going to tell you what your sexual orientation is, but you could find it useful. It seems to me that you’re struggling a bit.”

“A bit?” Kara sighs “I’m like, so confused. Because, you know, I’m a very physical person. I love cuddling and sleeping together… and kissing is fun too! It's just… the pressure, you know?”

“But that’s not the only issue, is it?” Lena notes, “These guys have feelings for you and you don’t.”

“Well, yeah…” 

“All I’m saying is… that’s ok” Lena concludes “You don't have to reciprocate anyone's feelings. I mean, everybody falls for you a little, in case you haven't noticed. You're bound to break a few hearts.”

“What? That’s not… I’m not like that.”

“It’s barely a compliment, Kara” Lena continues “Your biology is quite outstanding. I can't believe you haven't picked up on this superpower yet.”

Kara releases Lena’s arm and stops walking. Lena stops as well, and there’s a long moment when neither of them speak. Lena has just dropped a bomb, and is waiting for Kara to react. And Kara wants to deny, she truly wants to, but she's just so tired and she really wants a friend she can trust completely. 

“You know, mh?” is all she says. 

Lena shrugs. “It wasn’t too hard to figure out. And once I did, I looked for Lex’s files on Superman. Quite a detailed work, I must say.” Kara feels almost naked, aware that there’s so much Lena knows about her, maybe more than what Kara knows about herself. “You don't have to believe me” Lena adds “But you can trust me, Kara. I’ve known for weeks now, I’m not going to expose you.” 

And Kara looks a little defeated, but ultimately relieved.  

“Today… has been a lot” Kara says as she steps closer to Lena “Can we not talk about this right now? Can I just… can I hug you instead?” 

Lena's eyes grow a little, disarmed by Kara’s candour. She looks fragile and small. National City superhero looks like she's about to break. So Lena nods, of course she does, no hesitation there. And Kara almost falls into her arms, and rests her head on her shoulder. She’s crumpling her trench coat in her fists, and Lena wraps her arms around her, rubbing gentle circles on her back.

“Hey, hey…” she lets out, surprised by the desperation in Kara’s grip, “I’m here, I got you.”

Kara nods into her shoulder. “Do you want to… can you stay with me tonight?” Kara mumbles, and Lena is grateful Kara can't see her blushing form their position.

“Sure” she replies, trying to keep her voice steady “If it helps you. Want to come over to mine? Unless you prefer to go back to your place...”

“No, yours is fine” Kara replies as she takes a step back “I don’t want to go home right now. Is that ok?"

Lena smiles, and raises a hand to call a taxi.

- - - 

Kara spends the journey plopped against Lena, who tries her best to not stiffen every time Kara squeezes her arm, or links their fingers together, or kisses her knuckles. She wasn't kidding when she said she’s very physical, and it’s driving Lena a little crazy. Because sure, she’s Kara's friends, but she’s also a woman who was expecting a completely different kind of night. Lena promises herself she’ll call Robert tomorrow. 

It takes a little over twenty minutes for them to reach Lena's penthouse. Kara looks around the tastefully decorated apartment, the modern furniture, the colourful rug she somehow doesn't expect.

“I like your place” Kara says, genuinely. Lena shrugs. She doesn’t spend nearly enough time there to enjoy it.

“Can I get you anything?” she asks.

“Water’s fine” Kara replies “I guess you know that alcohol doesn’t really affect me, so, no point in trying to drown my sorrows in it.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Lena admits, offering a bottle of water she found in the fridge.

“You still got me that expensive cocktail though” Kara points out.

“Well, it tasted good, didn't it?"

Kara smiles, and watches Lena look down, almost shy. And she wonders, for a moment if what she said it’s true. Mon-El sure has some sort of super-charm on Earth. Could she have a similar power?

“Hey, Lena,” Kara clears her throat, and the CEO looks up again. “Is this ok?” 

Lena furrows her eyebrows. “What?”

“This.” Kara gestures vaguely “Me, at your place. In the middle of the night, asking you to comfort me. Are you ok with it?”

“Why wouldn’t it be ok?” Lena questions, confused.

“Because you said everybody is a little in love with me.” Kara notes.

“And?” 

“Well, are you?” 

Lena laughs nervously, and wishes she had an answer ready for this kind of question. She purses her lips, unsure, and Kara moves a little closer, slouching a little to look into her eyes.

“So?” the reporter insists.

“Maybe a little” Lena admits, reluctantly, and looks away. 

Kara takes a sharp breath, a little disappointed. “Then maybe I should go.” 

“Kara, please” Lena touches her forearm, lightly - she doesn't grab, she doesn’t hold her back. “Look, you can't blame people for their feelings, as much as we can't blame you for not having them. I do want to be your friend. Let me be there for you.” 

Kara weights her words, tilting her head, thoughtful. She bites her lower lips, and looks down.

“It’s not like I don't have feelings for you” she mutters, barely audible “it’s just, you know… I can’t give you everything you need, so what’s the point?” 

“You do?” Lena’s head shoots up.

“Y-yeah, I… I think so” Kara confirms, a little hesitant, the more resolute “I do. Definitely.” 

Lena steps closer, and holds her hand. “I told you, you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, Kara. Just… don’t push me away, ok?” 

Kara nods, trying to convince herself more than Lena.

“I would like to cuddle with you, but only if you're ok with it.” Kara’s cheeks heat up a little. Lena’s, on the other hand, catch fire. 

“I-I… of course. I mean, I’m not a big cuddler, but I guess it’s more for a lack of opportunity than anything else.” she mumbles “Do you want something more comfortable to slip in?”

“Yeah, that’d be great” Kara looks down at her dress and shoes, and Lena all but runs to her room to get some sweatpants and cool down a little. 

“I’ll be right back.”  

- - - 

She comes back wearing a pair of dark grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt, which is something Kara never thought she’d get to see. And oh, she’s barefoot. 

“You’re shorter than me” Kara comments when Lena is close enough for her to notice. The CEO offers her some flannel pants and a light blue t-shirt, and gives her an unimpressed look.

“Just about.” she says, pretending to be a little offended. And truth to be said, she can't remember the last person who saw her without heels. 

She's used to be naked, or wearing some obnoxiously expensive lingerie that never fails to drive her subs crazy, sometimes even leather. She’s used to dominate, to take action. What she’s not used to is blushing so hard when Kara asks her to pull down the zip of her dress and lets it pool at her feet, quickly - but somehow not quickly enough - putting the t-shirt on. She unhooks her bra and pulls its straps from the sleeves, tugging it from the collar. That’s when Lena finally manages to rip her eyes off her, and lets her slip into the pyjama bottoms she got her. 

Kara picks her dress from the floor and puts it on the backrest of the sofa with her bra. She stretches her arms above her head, and when she lowers them down she makes sure they hoop around Lena's head and rest on her shoulders. 

“Let’s go to bed?” she asks, tilting her head a little. And Lena nods, slightly overwhelmed by the chaste intimacy of that moment. She turns, Kara’s arms still around her neck, so she instinctively pulls them, pressing her back against Kara, and lifting her from the ground.

Kara lets out an excited squeak as Lena piggybacks her to her room. When they reach the bed, they're both giggling uncontrollably, mainly because Lena’s physical strength is definitely not her best quality, and she struggled the whole way. She spins around a leg to throw Kara on the mattress, but the she can’t release her arms quickly enough so she follows her, tumbling gracelessly on top of her.

Kara loses it, tears running down her cheeks. And Lena knows that if she wanted, Kara could have lifted them from the floor, and quite literally fly them anywhere. Instead, she let her clumsily carry her around, and Lena can’t remember the last time she was allowed to be so playful. 

As they lay on the bed, catching their breath and wiping tears from their eyes, Lena somehow manages to roll to her side and wrap an arm around Kara’s waist. Her eyes linger on the reporter's lips for a second before she remembers this is not just any date. This is Kara, and she should take every precaution to make her feel comfortable. 

“Duvet?” Lena asks as the laughter slowly fades into a quiet smile.

“Duvet” Kara nods, and Lena thinks she looks relaxed enough. Safe enough.

As the slip under the covers, Kara wastes no time to nest into Lena’a body, pushing her back against her a little, and pulling her arm around herself. Lena buries her face in her hair, breathing her in.

“I really like this” Kara sighs, and Lena wonders when was the last time Kara had the chance to simply cuddle with someone. “Thank you” the reporter adds, softly.

“You don't need to thank me, Kara” Lena replies “This is nice. I like it too.”

“But is it… enough?” Kara mumbles, shyly.

“Kara, look at me” Lena pleads, and Kara turns to face her. The CEO watches her features, exploring all the emotions that are flashing on Kara’s face. Gratefulness. Fear. Hope. 

“I can get sex any day, with no effort” Lena says “I actually have three subs, and odds are one of them is still waiting for me at the Ozone bar right now. I don't need sex from you. I need… you.” 

Kara nods, biting her lips, and after a thoughtful moment she says: “I want you to know that I don't expect you to drop them, you know? Your… subs, that’s how you called them, right?”

“My submissives, yes” Lena confirms.

“I don't mind if you look for sex somewhere else, I’m not really the jealous type.”

Lena takes a deep breath. Something at the back of her head tells her the right thing to do would be to swear to Kara that no, she doesn't need it, that she's everything she’ll ever need, but she knows that’s not true.

“I do need it. Sex, I mean.” Lena comments “So I will keep seeing them from time to time.” 

“Of course” Kara smiles, relieved “I would feel horrible if you had to give that up for me.” 

And Lena smiles too, wide and bright and full of love, because Kara is sweet and pure and there, and right now she's all she wants.

“You can say no to what I’m going to ask you, ok?” Lena looks into Kara’s eyes, making sure that she knows she is absolutely serious about it “I need you to feel safe to say no to me.”

Kara nods. “I promise."

“Ok, cool” Lena takes a deep breath, and she could swear she hasn't felt so nervous and giddy since high school. “I’d like to… I mean, can I kiss you?” 

Kara lets out a short laugh, and shakes her head a little, which has Lena a little disappointed. But then Kara explains that “No one's ever asked that before,” and a new sort of sadness fills Lena’s heart. 

“Yes, you can.” the reporter adds, and Lena would like to say she's smooth and confident - she’s always been, after all - but all she can do is tentatively stretch her neck and gently place her lips on Kara’s. It’s so delicate, and deliberate, she feels Kara's breath on her skin, she feels the softness of her lips, the sweet scent of her chapstick, and a stray blond curl tingling on her eyelid. It’s small and quick but Lena feels everything.

And as she moves back, flustered, Kara follows, catching her lips again, stroking a thumb on her cheek. And Lena lets her set the pace, she pays attention to the rhythm Kara chooses for her hands to explore her body, and mirrors it, diligently. Kara doesn’t grab, she strokes. Kara doesn't rush, she doesn’t sneak. She follows a path, an unbroken trail on her skin that she traces with her fingertips, with the back of her hand, with her palm. She brushes her hands on her neck, her stomach, her hips - but it's so chaste, it doesn't lead any further. And that’s fine, that’s perfect.

“Is this ok?” Lena asks, as she copies Kara’s movement. She doesn’t want to assume she's comfortable receiving what she’s giving. Kara nods, and rests their forehead together. 

“This is very ok."