Chapter Text
Hi! Those of you who read my other works know that I haven't disappeared. It's been 4 years since I updated this! Like other stories, it's just been sitting in my list.
Originally, I was planning on writing it up to the canon events and leaving it there, but I think it's one of those fanfics that has been left dropped too long and has too many cobwebs. Due to that, I will be ending it here, sadly incomplete.
The 100 has been such an eventful series, with so many emotion rollercoasters. It was so beautiful and so sad.
Thank you too everyone who read this fanfic, I certainly enjoyed writing it.
Anyway. Here are my notes, so you can see what ideas I had for the story.
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Basically just season 7 episode 12 scene where Clarke is getting tortured. Because other ones are alike with them mostly seeing Clarke trying to radio the Ark, I decided to write my own.
Chapter 1: They watch a bunch of Clarke's memories like when she lost her Father, when Wells died, when she met Lexa, when she tells Bellamy to start using his head and he tells her that he's got her for that, when she has a seizure and Josephine tells her not to, when her and Bellamy push the lever together in mount weather, when Russell kisses her on the forehead before he steals her head for Josephine, when she was being tortured by Alegis, when she sees the rocket in the distance but still fights to get the dish aligned, when she aligned the dish and barely makes it to Becca's lab, when she almost shot herself before a crow flew overhead (She think she sees Below my flinch at this) etc etc.
She tries hard not to think of Madi but a memory pops up where her and a younger Madi are talking about her friends.
She screams and tells herself not to let a single read drop because it is a sign of weakness but eventually, one drops.
Chapter 2: Clarke has a mini meltdown but Octavia helps her.
Chapter 3: Title is 'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds'. Her memories go back and forth from where they feel rain for the first time to where Bellamy says 'Whatever the hell you want' and many more memories like when she cries telling her mother that she loved Lexa and tells Roan that she'll give him the Flame if she lets her people go. Including when ALIE tells Clarke about the radiation and stuff.
She finds an anchor and sticks to it. May we meet again in which she thinks about how many times she said it - Finn, Lexa, Bellamy and so many more OR Jus nou drein jus daun - blood must not have blood. She either talks to Octavia and Co and in the 3rd chapter, they try again ans this time about season 6 (or this is done in chapter 2) and Clarke repeats the words 'jus nou drein jus daun' - blood must not have blood.
She has a dream where she starts speaking to a voice (that turns out to be herself) and having dark thoughts as she tries to remember who she is:
"Who are you?"
"I am clarke of the sky people, mountain slayer--"
"Murderer."
She hesitated but carried on. "Princess of the ark, survivor of Praimfaya."
"Commander," the voice sneered, "No..." it chuckled. "QUEEN of death."
"Chon yu bilaik?"
"Ai laik klark kom skai kru, maun slayer--
"Ripa."
She hesitated but carried on."Princess gon the ark, survivor gon praimfaya."
"Heda," the voice sneered, "No..." it chuckled. "KWIN gon wamplei."
Chapter 4: Title is - I'm only human after all. Clarke is going through early signs of craziness.
She starts to experience dad mental health issues where her ears are ringing and stuff. She calls out for Bellamy and stuff.
She tries to not bear it from them, but for herself.
She starts to stutter and seizes and cry and stuff and Bellamy watches what was going on inside her head while she was fighting Josephine. She also calls out for Madi and has a panic attack when one of the disciples (Doucette) hold Bellamy at knife point threatening to kill him if Clarke doesn't tell the where the flame is (Cadogan tries to tell the disciple otherwise because that is not what he told her to do.) Clarke I starts to freak out and had a panic attack saying what raven said under the influence of ALIE (lemme go...) and Levitt releases her. She then runs to the woman holding Bellamy hostage and knocks her down and begins punching her while Bellamy tells her to let her go that's she's killing her. When Clarke lifts up the knife to strike, Bellamy knocks it out of her hand and pulls her up. He tells her that it's okay and that he's alive and she hugs him desperately crying. She asks him if they can just run away: him, her, Madi, Octavia, and the rest of their friends. But Bellamy starts talking about saving all Mankind and she says: I don't give a damn about mankind! He continues to sooth her and tells her to breath. She looks at the door and attempts to escape. But just when she's about to reach the room where her friends are being held captive (they hear her from inside screaming and shouting), Bellamy catches her and she starts crying again. Clarke is kind of going crazy. She begs Bellamy to let her go and he considers it but puts her back in the room despite her desperately clinging to him.
The others try to soothe her and Miller bangs in the door.
Octavia tells Clarke: The warrior doesn't mourn the dead until the war is over. And that she should pull herself together because they need her. She is their leader. Clarke nods, sniffs and calms down she says "you're right".
Raven tells Clarke: Don't choose pain Clarke. Choose life. Let's get to work.
Bellamy: "I say, screw fear. I'm telling my own damn story."
Clarke: This isn't about saving my people. It's about saving the human race.
Lincoln: The world's been trying to turn me into a monster for as long as I can remember.
Octavia : What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Unknown: "Betraying your friends is not the answer."
Chapter 5: Title is: I think I'm going crazy.
Clarke starts to snap. She screams, cries and laughs in her restraints and she talks to Bellamy seemingly calm reminding him of the moment where he walked away when she stayed in Polis with Lexa. She stares and him then laughs again closing her eyes and then opening them. She then snaps her gaze to Levitt. Basically, she says a bunch of mean stuff as she lets her emotions and feelings out. It scares Bellamy:
This wasn't him Clarke. It wasn't the girl who smiled and explored when they'd touched the ground for the first time. This wasn't the one who'd argued with him day and night before they became best friends. This wasn't the one who'd pulled that trigger in Mount Weather. Heck, it wasn't even Wanheda!
No. This was a new Clarke. A different one. A scarier one.
And she had the eyes of a cold-blooded killer.
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Clarke's anchor is 'I bear it so they don't have to'. OR 'Blood must not have blood' : Jus nau drein jus daun. Which she changes later on as she goes crazy to 'lood must have blood' : Jus drein jus daun.
She occasionally screams at them to get out of her head.
Eventually Clarke starts to go crazy.
Clarke is like Moses XD "Let my people go!"
"Who we are and who we have to be to survive are too different things."
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Season 1: The hundred (and one) touch down on the ground. Clarke tries to speak to Anya. Clarke kills Finn. War brews between the grounders and the sky people.
Season 2: Mount Weather. The adults come down and stuff. Lexa betrays her. End: Clarke leaves because she can't bear she had to do (killing people in mount weather) to save her people. Bellamy saves Echo from Mount Weather. Pike starts this whole war thing and Clarke comes back and tries to reason with Bellamy but he doesn't accept it saying that she left them.
Season 3: Clarke is being hunted as Wanheda. First appearance of Roan. She kneels down to Lexa as Wanheda Bellamy and co come bursting in and she tell him that she's sorry and he leaves. Clarke and Lexa bond. Lexa dies because of Titus. ALIE begins because of Jaha and Murphy (who meets Emori).
Season 4: Ep 1 - Roan almost dies but Clarke and her mother save him but get locked up anyway with Bellamy, Octavia, Marcus and others. Echo comes in and forces Clarke out while the others scream and Bellamy calls after her. Clarke tells Roan that she'll give him the flame if he lets her people go. (Other episodes) The other find the bunker and get ready to go in and Clarke becomes a nightblood and goes to ascend the throne before Roan calls her out. (Gaia is the flame keeper). Clarke is left on the ground as the others go to space. Last episode - shows Clarke suffering and almost killing herself before she find Eden and meets a young Madi and then time skips to 6 years later when Clarke is still trying to reach Bellamy and the others on the radio and Octavia is forcing others in the bunker to commit to cannibalism.
Season 5: Clarke is captured by Diyoza and tortured by her and Madi rescues Bellamy and says: "Bellamy? Clarke knew you would come." Bellamy rescues Clarke from Diyoza. They ask Eligius to rescue their friends in the bunker and she reunites with her mom who is now a druggie and is also pregnant. Diyoza is pregnant with Hope. Ends with Clarke and Bellamy looking out into space.
Season 6: 100 years later, they are woken up by Jordan (Harper and Monty's son) and discover that Monty found a new planet with two moons. They land there and go under the influence of the Red Sun. They discover about the Primes when Clarke's body is overtaken by Josephine and they think that Clarke is dead (but she is inside her mind where her and Josephine are battling for dominance over her body). They meet the ones that were abandoned by the Primes (Gabriel and co) and together, they try to save Sanctum from the Primes. Bellamy discovers that Clarke is alive when she sends a message (alive) through morse code. Murphy and Emori pretend to be Primes and Sheidheda (the evil commander) takes over Russell's body and uses it. (Bellamy got her to take it without Clarke's permission). They discover the Anomaly and Diyoza and Octavia go through (where they land in Etherea and they watch Hope grow up and Octavia repeatedly tries to get back). Meanwhile, Sheidheda causes problems when he reveals that it's him. The flame has been destroyed. Bellamy is dragged into the Anomaly while Echo and co run after him but are pulled back by invisible people (later know as Disciples). Echo meets Hope and together with Gabriel, they jump into the Anomaly to get to Bellamy but have to spend years where they meet a man who is there as penance and they have to wait for his collection to get to Octavia and Bellamy.
Season 7: Octavia is being tortured by Levitt (who tries to reason with her and not torture her and later they fall in love). Diyoza escapes and throws a knife at Hope before she discovers that it's her daughter and they have a happy reunion. Sheidheda is still ruling over the people back in Sanctum while Clarke, Niylah, Miller and co travel through the Anomaly (Gaia is kidnapped by a disciple who takes through the Anomaly with them) and discover that Bellamy is dead and also that Octavia, Echo and Diyoza are now working for Bill Cadogan - in disguise - (leader of a cult who discovered the anomaly thanks to Becca but kill Becca while his daughter and other - who get nightblood because of Becca - take the flame and head outside while Cadogan and his 'disciples' head into the Anomaly). Diyoza dies because Hope tried to poison their water. It is later discovered that Bellamy is not dead and in fact went through the Anomaly with another disciple and they worked together for years to return - during it, Cadogan brainwashed Bellamy - and when Bellamy returned and reunited with his friends, he knelt down to Cadogan and revealed that the Flame was destroyed. Clarke get taken away and that is the end of episode 11 (along with Sheidheda ruling and gaining control over the people in Sanctum). In episode 12, Clarke is tortured for her memories while Bellamy and others watch so Cadogan can find out what happened to the Flame.