Chapter Text
Lance’s first impression was pain. He was on the beach, Shiro next to him, but he couldn’t fucking do anything, because his shoulder hurt too damn much, oh God. He whimpered, the sound escaping his mouth before he could stop it. He slowly became aware of Shiro talking, voice running quick quick quick over his ears. He couldn’t tell what he was saying. It was muffled, and it took far too long for him to realize it wasn’t because of anything external.
Shiro’s voice came slowly into focus. “Lance! Lance, talk to me, are you alright? I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I only wanted to help! Lance, please!”
I’m fine, he wanted to say, but his mouth wouldn’t move and he couldn’t get enough air and he was in too much pain he couldn’t think. He gradually came back to himself, Shiro’s worried face above him. “...Shiro? What happened?”
“Oh thank God, Lance, I’m so sorry, you were caught in a rip current and I tried to help but the cliff-”
“It’s fine, just my shoulder, it hurts, I don’t know what to do-”
It was bad. They were both panicking. Shiro couldn’t do anything to help, being confined to the water, and Lance couldn’t help himself, his left shoulder the concentrate of too much pain to even contemplate getting up. It was probably dislocated. The knowledge didn’t help him.
“Shiro, call for Aleja. She-” he gasped as he accidentally moved his arm, sending a flash of agony from his shoulder. “She can help.”
Shiro’s tail was thrashing so hard the waves were foaming. “She can’t hear me from here! How can she help you?”
Lance caught Shiro’s face with his uninjured arm. “Listen to me. Getting Aleja to help is the only way. You can’t help in the water and I can’t help myself. Please, Shiro.”
“How, though?” His words trailed off. “There’s a beach next to your house, isn’t there.” It wasn’t a question. After all, it was the first place they had seen each other. After a quick affirmation from Lance, he was gone.
And Lance was alone.
His Nana was right, after all. This cove really was dangerous, or unlucky, or both. First Shiro, bleeding out on the beach, then him, shoulder screaming and likely dislocated, in the exact same spot. It was his first time swimming in so long, and this was how it turned out. And Shiro, his brain whispered. Look what he promised, and look what he did.
No, he wanted to say. No, he didn’t mean to hurt me. He only wanted to help. There was still a part of him that remained unconvinced, insidious, playing the devil’s advocate. He’ll probably just leave you here, it said. He has you right where he wants you. He pushed it away. Shiro would come back for him, Aleja with him. He would be fine. A dislocated shoulder wasn’t even that bad, right? Painful, sure, but not life-threatening. He would be fine.
He waited. He fell into a sort of daze, letting the minutes tick by only half-aware. The waves lapped at his feet. The gulls screeched. The bushes along the trail rustled. The air smelled of salt. Then: an irregular pattern of wakes.
Shiro had returned. He hadn’t come alone. But it wasn’t his sister.
It was his Nana.
He experienced, then, an incredible separation of reality. It was like the day Aleja had first pushed past him to the cove, except more so, because this was his Nana, who had warned him away from this place since day one. He would be lying if he said he didn’t try to struggle to sit up or hide from her.
She wasn’t angry, though. Just went to her knees beside him and took his face in her hands. “Oh, love, what did I tell you. You didn’t believe me, though. I know what that feels like. Don’t worry, I’m here to help.” Her voice was soft, as one might talk to a wounded animal. He was reminded, vividly, of the first time he had touched Shiro, unconscious and covered in blood that soaked into his own clothes.
Shiro, now, was lurking offshore, only his eyes above water. They were trying to convey a message, but it was one Lance couldn’t decode with most of his brain preoccupied with his Nana and his shoulder. She helped him up, and part of him marveled at her strength, old woman that she was.
“I’ll be fine,” he said as they started their slow way back up the trail, and his Nana did not condemn his words by pretending they were for her. They reached the house, and his mom’s hands went to her mouth. Aleja, as it turned out, was not home. Out with a friend. Or grocery shopping. Or both. It was unclear.
The next two hours passed in a blur. They drove to the emergency room, his mom’s knuckles white on the steering wheel. His grandmother stayed to look after Mateo, who was home with one of his soccer friends. The doctors popped his shoulder back into place, put his arm in a sling, gave him medicine and a care sheet, and sent him on his way. The pain abated. He would have to face people eventually, he knew. He went home and slept.
…
When he woke, it was dark. He made his way downstairs, and was greeted by Aleja wrapping him in a bone-crushing hug. “Lance,” she whispered. She led him to the couch, and he was disquieted to see his mother and grandmother in the room as well. He sat.
“Lance,” his mom began, and he felt his stomach drop. The immediate concern was past, and now the questions would begin. He braced himself. “What happened? Nana didn’t tell me anything, and I’d like to know how she knew to help you. She didn’t go with you wherever you went originally. And now that we’re on the topic, where did you go?! You’re always off on your own, and it hasn’t gotten better, even since the day you got lost. I’m your mother, I should know where you run off to!”
She ended her tirade, and Lance couldn’t meet her eyes. The day had been too full for him to muster up any energy. From confessions to hospitals, and now to draw up some semblance of the truth. “I’m sorry. I was being stupid, and I slipped and fell, and tried to catch myself with my hand. I think that was what dislocated it. Nana heard me calling for her.” He begged his Nana with his eyes to not say anything. Please, I can’t lose this. Please.
She heard. “I assume that’s what happened. He was nearly all the way up the bluff, but my ears have always been rather good.” Pride, worry, not a hint of the lies she was telling.
His mom sighed. “Okay, I’ll accept that, but dear, please try to be more careful. Hospital bills are nothing to sneeze at, and your health is the most important.” She swept out of the room, planting a kiss on the top of his head. The clattering of pots and pans from the kitchen revealed she was starting dinner.
Aleja and his Nana stayed. They did not look amused. “Okay, Lance, what really happened? If you only fell, I’ll eat my shoe.” Aleja was serious, but curiosity colored the edges of her voice.
He looked down. “I went swimming.”
A gasp, accompanied by a noticeable silence.
“And do tell, what would prompt such an idiotic venture?” His Nana’s voice was as dry as the Sahara. “I thought I warned you that the people of the sea are not gentle. That cove is dangerous.”
“It’s… Shiro. He wouldn’t hurt me.” He looked up, pleading with his Nana to understand. He only realized he was crying when he felt the tears wet and drip off his cheeks. “It was fine, I just got caught it a rip current, it was my fault. He was,” he sniffled, “he was only trying to help, I swear.” He felt himself caught up in Aleja’s arms, soothing noises breathed into his hair. “I can’t lose this, please.”
“Oh, love. What have you done.” His Nana knelt next to him, eyes infinitely sad.
“It’s fine! He’s not going to eat me, and anyway, you escaped, didn’t you?”
His Nana sat back abruptly, Aleja turning to look at her, confused. “What does he mean? Nana, did you know about the mermaids?”
She frowned. “I did. I warned you, remember? But Lance, how do you know that, specifically?”
“I asked Shiro.”
His Nana cut him off. “Shiro, is that your merman?”
He nodded. “Anyway, I asked Shiro because you had said some things that made me wonder, and he asked his pod, and then told me that one of his podmates, Coran, knew someone named Imelda in Cuba when he was younger. And that she was the only one who ever got away from him.”
His Nana had flinched at the name Coran, eyes wide. “Impossible,” she muttered. “Coran is in your Shiro’s pod?” At Lance’s affirmation, she continued. “I knew him, yes. He seemed kind, silly, harmless. Tried for six months to entice me into the water when I was much, much younger. Then my family moved, and distance ensured I never saw him again.” She was ashen. “I almost died because of that. They work their magic on you, you know. Weave their song, make you think it’s your idea to keep seeing them. Then, suddenly, the water looks too good to pass up, and you’re in and you’re dead. It was near that time when we moved. The shock made me go to the nearest body of water myself. I almost drowned in a lake. As friendly as they seem, the people of the sea are not kind.”
They were all ashen after that story. The silence made a home in their hearts. She almost died at the hands of a man Shiro quoted as goofy and ridiculous. He shuddered. “But, Nana, that doesn’t sound like Shiro at all.” He looked up at Aleja’s words.
“It’s true,” he added, face scrunching. “He stopped trying to coax me into the water after the first little while. He just listened, and then after I saved his life we started talking, but he never suggested going into the water. I was the one who wanted to, today, and he didn’t kill me! I was in the water for a half an hour before I got caught in the rip current, and only then did he accidentally hurt me.”
“You saved his life?” A beat.
“Uh… yes? His arm got torn off by a rival pod, and he came to me for help. Actually, uh, that was why I was missing for that day. I wasn’t lost, I was helping him. That’s when Aleja found out about him.”
“You saved his life.” Not a question this time. “And he didn’t kill you.”
“Yes.”
“No.” And then she left.
Aleja and Lance exchanged some very confused looks. “What was that about?” he asked, and she just shrugged, equally baffled. “Maybe she needed time to process such a different experience?”
“Maybe…”
~
My grandson. I would have to say goodbye to my grandson. I had to leave, to process. The time for mourning wasn’t here yet. But it would be soon.
~
Lance prayed Shiro would be there when he went to the cove. Yesterday had been a disaster. The dislocation wasn’t terrible, but it’d need time to heal and the sling would have to stay on for few days. The first time they swam together, and it ended like that. Shiro was probably expecting an apology. It was his fault, after all, for not seeing the rip current and making them slam into the cliff. And what if Shiro had gotten hurt too, and he hadn’t noticed? He’d feel so guilty, and Shiro would try to wave it off, but it’d be bad-
Thankfully, Shiro was there. He pulled himself out of the water the moment Lance appeared, eyes huge. “Lance, are you alright? I’m so sorry, Lance, I didn’t mean to, I swear!”
He crouched down beside Shiro, hesitating before wrapping an arm around his back. What a pair of armless fools they made. Shiro froze, then slowly, slowly uncoiled the tension in his body and laid his head briefly on Lance’s knees. “I’m okay, they just had to pop my shoulder back into place. It was dislocated, you know. But it’s fine, it just needs to heal is all. Thank you, Shiro, you were the one who helped me from being swept away in that rip current, and you went for help for me. I know you didn’t mean to. You wouldn’t hurt me.” He ended by placing a kiss on Shiro’s forehead without thinking.
Lance was pretty sure Shiro had fainted. Or at least broken, because he wasn’t moving and his face was as fiery as the sunset. Then Lance’s brain caught up with him, and he joined Shiro in his new life as a tomato. “Ahhh sorry! Sorry! I didn’t mean to- I wasn’t thinking- sorry!” His spluttering was cut off by Shiro determinedly wrapping his arm around Lance and planting his own kiss on his cheek. He needed a tombstone. It would read ‘Here lies Lance, murdered by his fishy maybe-boyfriend giving him a kiss on the cheek’.
“Okay?”
“Okay,” he squeaked.
A lull passed as they both processed, then Shiro spoke up. “I’m sorry I brought back your grandmother instead of Aleja, I went to your beach but your Nana was walking along the sand and Aleja wasn’t anywhere in sight, so I just went for the option that would bring you help the quickest. I hope I didn’t get you in trouble.”
“Hey, it’s fine. We had a little talk, but it all went okay. Really, thank you Shiro.”
“Right. My pleasure.” He was still blushing.
Someone cleared their throat behind them. Lance looked over Shiro’s shoulder and choked. “Uhhh, Shiro?”
“Well, as much as I hate to interrupt this sweet bonding moment, your darling sister is here.” It was Allura, white hair floating cloudlike in the water, a smirk on her face, much at odds with the last time Lance had seen her.
Shiro whipped around so fast that Lance winced and touched his own neck. “Allura! What are you doing here?”
She shrugged, an effortless movement. “I wanted to meet Lance when I wasn’t angry. I followed you and thought this would be a good time.” She waved, and Lance tentatively waved back. She still made a frisson of unease run through him, but she was Shiro’s sister and podmate, and he was willing to be friendly.
“Nice to meet you, Allura. Or, meet you when you don’t want to kill me, anyway.”
She laughed. Her teeth were very sharp. She said, “You know, Shiro didn’t want me to meet you.”
“What? Why not?” He looked at Shiro, who was clenching his teeth and held an expression of a man facing his doom on his face. “Uh, Shiro?”
“He thought I would embarrass him over his cruuuush. Unfortunately,” she sighed, “he beat me to it and embarrassed himself.”
It was Lance’s turn to laugh. The frisson of of fear he still felt evaporated. “I mean, we embarrassed each other, and I’m pretty sure I embarrassed myself too, so I think we’re even. You know, when you don’t want to murder me, you’re kind of cool.”
“And when you’re not breaking my brother’s heart, you’re kind of cool too.” They smiled at each other, grins that Aleja might have described as “shit-eating”, or perhaps “trouble”.
Shiro muttered, “This is the worst day of my life.”
“Aww Shiro,” Lance cooed, “aren’t you happy we’re getting along?”
“That’s what scares me.”
“Don’t be afraid, babe,” he said, pressing his mouth to the top of Shiro’s head.
“You broke him!” Allura, delighted.
“Hm. Are the pet names too much?”
“Considering how red he is, I’d say work up to them.”
“Agreed.”
Shiro made a muffled screaming noise into Lance’s leg.
They spent the late morning getting to know each other, before Lance stretched and moved Shiro from where he was draped over his lap. “I’d love to stay, but I have school tomorrow and I have so much homework to get done.”
“Okay, see you later!” Shiro dragged himself back into the water, and he and Allura turned and dove at the same time, leaving nothing but ripples to betray their passing presence.
He walked up the trail carefully, as balancing was harder with one arm in a sling, and found he couldn’t quite banish the smile stretching over his face. Sure, maybe he and Allura didn’t start off on the right note, but he was pretty confident that wouldn’t stick. She seemed cool, and getting to know her would be fun. There was something he wanted to ask her… but it could wait. He had homework to do.
…
“What did you do now.” The sweet, caring voice was Pidge’s, accompanied by a deadpan stare. Even Hunk looked amused rather than overly worried.
“I fell and dislocated my shoulder,” he sighed, knowing sympathy would be scarce. He was right. Hunk put his head in his hands and groaned, and Pidge laughed.
“Nice job. Everything okay?” At least she was a little caring.
“Yeah, it’s just gonna take a while to heal.” Half the reason they were so unconcerned, he knew, was that if anything serious happened they would have been notified by his family. They hadn’t been, so a little ribbing was allowed.
They headed to class, still snorting over Lance’s mad skills, when Pidge caught his sleeve. “Hey Lance, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure Pidgeon, what’s up?
“One, if you ever call me Pidgeon again I will physically fight you, don’t doubt me, and two, what really happened to your arm?”
“What?”
“Don’t play dumb, Lance. You can only dislocate your shoulder by falling if you try to catch yourself and hit the ground really hard. Just tripping wouldn’t do it. But you don’t really do any sports other than swimming, so what was it?”
“I… yeah you’re right.” Pidge would be able to see through excuses; he wouldn’t even try. “I didn’t trip and fall. I,” his mouth curved up into a small smile, “I went swimming.”
“And?”
“And nothing. I went swimming, and dislocated my shoulder. That’s it.” He started walking down the hallway, hands in his pockets. “Come on Pidgeon, we’re gonna be late.”
“Lance. Hey wait! Lance!”
Lance could see Pidge casting him pissed off glances all through AP Physics. Sure, he hadn’t told her all of the truth, but she was smart. She’d figure it out. He absentmindedly doodled on his paper as he listened to the teacher lecture, and looked down, surprised, to see he’d created a mangled version of Shiro’s tail. He smiled, soft, thinking of Shiro’s cute blushes and smiles, his scars, every one of them holding a story, his one arm and the way it wrapped around his waist… Shiro seemed more real than this classroom ever did.
His daydreaming was interrupted by the teacher telling them to split off and work in groups, Hunk hurrying over to him. “Do you want to work together? Also, what did you do to piss Pidge off? She seems angrier than usual.” She smoothly flipped them off, but walked over to work with them just the same.
“I called her Pidgeon. Alas, it seems she scorns my wonderful nicknames.”
“Dude, your nicknames are pretty awful. But in this case, as it’s Pidge, I think it’s acceptable. Sorry, gremlin.”
“Rude, Hunk. Not you too.”
Also, Lance,” Hunk leaned forward. “What were you thinking about earlier? Or should I say who? You had this dopey smile on your face, you were totally daydreaming.”
Pidge whipped around so fast Lance nearly shit himself. “Does Lance have a crush?”
“No! Of course not!”
“This,” Pidge declared, “Is the best day of my life. Who is it.”
“It’s nobody, you gremlin, because I don’t have a crush!”
“You’re lying.” Hunk looked at Lance, eyes full of glee. “He’s lying, Pidge. Pry it out of him, I want to know who.”
“Hey, that is so not fair! You can’t just team up on me!”
“Watch us.” Then Pidge saw his paper, and everything went quiet. She grabbed it out of his hand, and Lance wasn’t quick enough to stop her. “What is this?” Her eyes, of course, were on his silly doodle: Shiro’s tail, distorted but unmistakable.
“I- it’s nothing Pidge, give it back.”
“Guys? What’s going on? Weren’t we just trying to find out Lance’s crush?”
“One second, Hunk, Lance has some explaining to do. What is this?”
“It’s just a doodle, Pidge please, give it back. It doesn’t mean anything, don’t-”
“Of course it fucking means something, he’s my best friend!” She was shouting now, and the classroom was loud, but not loud enough to disguise it. The teacher began to walk toward them.
“Pidge, no it’s not, it’s not Keith, I swear. I’ll explain later, okay?”
Then her face transformed, and she whispered, “Swimming,” but the teacher was hovering over their shoulders so they all pretended to get back to work. The rest of the class period passed in silence, with Hunk looking at them both like they were a bomb primed to explode. It was true, in a way.
“Explain,” she hissed, as soon as they were out in the hall and Hunk had waved goodbye.
“Pidge, when I told you what I told you, about your friend, I asked you not to question it. I’m asking the same thing now. It’s not Keith, but it is someone that I… that I care for, and it could be bad if I told. I’m sorry.”
“Lance, look at me.” She grabbed hold of his good arm in a vise-like grip, eyes shining. “I just made this connection but… Keith started acting the same way you are now before he disappeared. Be careful.”
“I- Pidge, I don’t know what you’re talking about. But I’ll be careful, don’t worry.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about.” Then, quieter, when he was almost out of earshot, “I can’t believe Lance has a crush on a fuckin’ mermaid.” He smiled to himself.
The day was almost over when he went to visit Shiro, the sun hanging low and heavy in the sky. The way the light played in Shiro’s hair made his breath catch. “Hey.” Softly.
“Hey.” The way he said it made Lance’s heart clench in his chest.
“Sorry I’m here so late. School, you know.”
“Yeah.” Shiro’s eyes were luminous, and the sea the color of sunset drew his feet to the edge of the waves lapping high on the shore.
“Yeah.” He sat, Shiro at his feet with his head on his arm and tail flicking the surf, and let the silence of the waves and the gulls consume them. They did not defile the evening with words. You do not speak when your feelings overwhelm you, you simply are, and as such they honored that. This was not a time for speaking.
They sat like that until the sun slipped over the edge of the horizon and dusk stole across the land. He had to be home soon, Lance knew. Darkness was not kind on the trail up the cliff. Still. There was a time for everything. He knelt, the pads of his fingers lightly pressing on Shiro’s cheek. Seafoam-soft smiles on both their faces, hesitation long absent. The press of their lips was gentle, delicate, present only in the warmth of skin and the faint taste of salt. It lasted a moment, maybe two, before Lance broke it and stood, eyes only for Shiro. He did not say goodbye, but simply waved, a fluttering of fingers, because the dusk was not a time for speaking either. Shiro’s answering wave was lost in the gathering dark, and all that betrayed his departure was the quiet splash of his tail hitting the water as he dove.
…
The next day brought a twitchiness in Lance’s limbs he couldn’t still. Something is going to happen. It was whispered in the dry school air, in the tension of building clouds, in the blood flickering under Lance’s skin. Something is going to happen. It made focusing hard in school, and he was sharply reprimanded for spacing out multiple times. And the end of the day, though, when the tension held, held, strung taut as a tightrope wire, it was far worse. It pounded in his veins, carrying the need to do something. Anything. Something is going to happen.
So he followed it. It was something he had been wanting to do, anyway. He went, not to see Shiro in the forbidden cove, but to the beach in front of his house. His Nana and mother were at one of Mateo’s soccer games, his dad was working, and Aleja was driving her visiting friend to the airport. The house stood deserted.
The beach was deserted too, until he called. Feet in the water, pants rolled up to mid-calf. It was not Shiro’s name he called. “Allura! Allura, I need to talk to you!” The cry dissipated into the building clouds, and he hoped sound truly did carry farther across water. It did, or maybe she was waiting for him. Her head popped up.
“Lance.”
“Allura. You heard.”
“I did. What did you need?” It was phrased as one, but it was not a question. In all likelihood, she already knew what he wanted to talk to her about.
He didn’t crouch down, and she didn’t swim closer, but the distance was small between them all the same. “Allura,” his voice was quiet, “when did you know? That you’d turn Keith into a mermaid. Or, merman, I guess.”
“Oh, Lance, I think you know there wasn’t just one moment. But don’t worry, I know what you’re asking. You want to know about the transformation into a person of the sea, don’t you?” He nodded. “It’s something that only happens when both parties truly want it. It’s a commitment, you understand.” She fixed him with a hard stare. “There is no going back; the transformation is permanent. Essentially, you’ll be dead to the land world. You’ll need to relearn everything: how to care for yourself, how to swim, the behaviors that we participate in. You’ll be starting from scratch. It is not something to do lightly.”
She took a breath. “That being said, it is an act of love. You’ll gain a new life, a new family. You won’t be a soft human; you’ll have all the benefits of being one of us. You’ll be with your loved one. And if what I say holds any weight, it is worth it. At the end of the day, though, everyone is different, and everyone must decide for themselves.”
“Right. Thank you, Allura. I- I don’t know what to do, I need to think it over.”
“Of course. You must be sure you truly want it.”
“Oh- one more thing. Would Shiro want it, do you think?” His voice was deliberately casual.
“That is something you would need to ask him. But for what it’s worth, yes, I think he would.” And she was gone.
Lance wandered back to his house, thoughts tumbling through his mind. His family would mourn, but- he would be free. And Shiro. Oh, he didn’t know what to do. But he had time. Had forever to think it over, because Shiro wasn’t leaving anytime soon.
The storm didn’t break. The clouds, the tension that had been building all day, didn’t release. The air just got muggier, the taste of it more electric. They rarely ever saw thunderstorms, but it was shaping up to be a big one. The feeling had subsided, but was still there when Lance crawled into bed. Something is going to happen.
…
School was a quiet affair, and Lance should have known it would prelude something critical. A turning point, if you would. His visit to Shiro was stayed by homework, and he had dinner with his family early. Which meant that as he helped her with making it, his mom wanted to talk.
“So, Lance. You’re getting older, and the time is getting closer. Have you thought about what colleges you’re going to apply to?”
His stomach plunged. “No, I haven’t yet. I don’t really know what I want to do.” A nervous laugh.
“Lance,” his mother sighed. “You really should start planning ahead. You’re smart enough to do anything you want, you just have to work for it. We can help you get started, if you like.”
“Sure. I’ll think about it.” Dinner that night was a quiet affair, too.
He went to the top of the bluff to clear his head. The long grasses, faint smell of salt, and quiet rustling calmed him. The storm boiling overhead didn’t detract from it. He didn’t know what he wanted to do. He was just skating along, doing his best to fulfill his family’s expectations, faking his way through difficult classes. He didn’t want to leave for college, to face those responsibilities and choose a path he wouldn’t hate but would still make his family proud. He didn’t want to leave for college. He didn’t want to leave, full stop. Shiro.
If he left, went somewhere far away like his family was pushing him to do, if he even went an hour away, he wouldn’t be able to see Shiro. Life would swallow him up, and he wouldn’t be able to talk to Shiro, to stay close to him.
And that was the crux of it, wasn’t it? He didn’t want to leave, and Shiro gave him a reason to stay. He loved the ocean, and he loved-
Well. Not yet. He didn’t love Shiro, but he liked him a lot, and he could feel the first tendrils of maybe-love unwinding in his chest. He didn’t love Shiro yet, but with time he would.
Time was a luxury he didn’t have. He thought he had all the time in the world to make the decision whether he wanted to join Shiro, but his mom had reminded him that he didn’t, really. And maybe he was just scared to face it, but if pushed to a choice, he knew what he would do. All this time had been building to it, after all. And if he was honest, really honest with himself, it was a decision he had already made. Even before he went to Allura, even before his mom started talking about his future in real terms. Keith started acting like you are right before he disappeared, Pidge had said. He huffed a laugh. Guess she’d been right.
The storm broke that night. Winds howled, rain pounded, and lightning lit up the sky. The waves crashing against the shore were loud enough to hear from the house. It was furious, and wild, and did not abate until the early hours of the morning. It found its way into Lance’s dreams, and lent itself to him in the form of new resolve.
It didn’t happen immediately. He stayed a few days, acutely aware of his time ticking out. He spent time with Shiro, talking to him, testing the idea. They didn’t kiss again, but it was alive in the air between them, and Lance knew there would be time for that later. He passed his time on land memorising every detail, drinking in the faces of his friends, family, teachers. Commiting to memory the way the inside of his house looked, the glint of sunlight on trees, the feeling of earth under his feet.
He hung out with his family, laughed with his friends, and resolutely pushed away lingering doubts. It would be okay to miss them. That didn’t mean he would let it color his resolve. He loved his friends. He loved his family. But they would move on without him.
He fixed in his heart Hunk’s warm laughs, Pidge’s scathing remarks, Aleja’s wicked smiles. Some things he didn’t need to memorize. He already knew them by heart. School lost its permanence. Everything had a clock, and time was almost up. He didn’t rush himself, though. He lingered, and let his life settle into his bones. He wouldn’t forget.
…
His family, around the dinner table. They were all talking, loud, sometimes over one another, but lovingly. Together. He helped clean up, and when it was finished he knew it was time. Knew it in his bones, blood, breath. Something is going to happen.
Before leaving, he made a circuit around the house. Talked to everyone, said goodnight. Made sure to hug them all, made sure to say goodbye in his own way every time. Ruffled Mateo’s hair. Smiled with his mom. Laughed with his dad. Talked to his Nana. Hugged Aleja. And to her, only her, did he whisper, “Goodbye.”
“Lance, what?”
“I have to go.” He went up the stairs, and when he saw the entryway was clear, he slipped out the door. The night was clear. The storm had used up its fury, leaving only a few wisps of cloud still in the sky. The moon was full, and bright enough he didn’t need any other light to make his way down the trail to the cove his Nana had forbidden long, long ago.
“Shiro.”
Shiro, as if he was attuned to the same impulse as Lance, was there. “Lance. Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I’m sure.” It didn’t happen immediately. Lance walked down to where Shiro was, at the edge of the waves, and swooped in to give him a quick kiss. They both came away from it blushing. “Congratulations.”
“Hmm?”
“You managed to seduce me into the water, and straight up seduce me. Not one for doing things halfway, are you?”
Shiro laughed. “No, I’m just lucky.” The moonlight shimmered on the water behind Shiro and reflected off the water caught in his hair. He was beautiful.
“Yeah, I guess you are. But I could argue that the lucky one is me.”
“Mhmm.” A lot of staring passed between them, and when Lance felt it had gone on long enough, the wait, all of it, he stood and clapped his hands. The sound echoed in the near-silent cove.
“Okay! How does this happen?”
“You have to come into the water first.” He did so, unconcerned at his clothes billowing around him. His shoes he left on the rocks.
“Right. What next?”
Shiro smiled at him, infinitely tender, and began to sing. And oh, Lance gasped, because it wasn’t singing, it was singing, the kind you feel in the depths of your chest and the soles of your feet. The water pooled around his waist. The chill didn’t bother him at all.
He could not describe what happened next. There was a tingle, like his blood had changed to champagne and was fizzing through his veins, and his fingers and toes went numb, except he didn’t have toes, and instead of fingernails he had claws, and his vision was suddenly so sharp he could see every pore on the moon’s face. Then everything went fuzzy.
When his vision cleared, he was floating. He knew, intrinsically, that he had changed. He could breathe underwater with the use of the gills on the side of his neck. His teeth were sharper and he had claws that could be retracted, if he so wished. Oh yeah. And he had a tail. Blue, the color of the open ocean when one floats ten feet below the surface and looks up, with fins along the sides and such power stored in it he couldn’t believe.
He looked to Shiro. His vision was sharper too, and he could see every tiny flicker of emotion that passed over his face. Could see the different grays of his eyes, overlapping and playing off each other. He smiled slowly, then faster, joy overtaking his features. He was effervescent. There was too much to speak, so he simply laughed. And laughed, delight echoing up to the stars, Shiro joining in. Lance pushed himself over to Shiro with one flick of his tail, and wrapped his arms, both of them, around his neck. Then they kissed, long and slow and sweet, with the sky as their only witness. They had all the time in the world, after all.
When they broke apart, dizzy from lack of air and too much emotion to name, Lance whispered, “I’d like to meet your family now, if it’s okay.”
“Soon. I’ll introduce you to my pod soon, but give me a little more time with you.”
“That sounds good.” Soft, and full of wonder.
Then, on some unknown signal, they flipped their tails and dove, and were gone.
~ … ~
Lance, her brother, had vanished. Disappeared into the night with only a whispered goodbye, and she was left to pick up the pieces. With her family, Aleja mourned. She knew, though, knew in whispered conversations with her grandmother, knew in his face before he left, knew in his shoes left carefully on a rock, that he wasn’t dead. Wasn’t dead, but might as well have been.
Three days after he disappeared to the sea, his friend came to visit. The short one, whose other friend had gone missing all that time ago. Pidge. She bypassed the other silent family members, and latched onto Aleja’s shirt with both hands. Her eyes were red, and her lips were chapped. “I know he’s not dead. Where is he,” she had asked, and Aleja could only point to the ocean before both their eyes were filling with tears.
She cried, with her family and in private, and when Pidge walked into her house with eyes full of terrible knowledge, she cried with her too. She and her Nana comforted each other. They knew, knew where he had gone, knew what he had chosen. She did not begrudge him his choice, but allowed herself to grieve. Her family did not tear itself apart. It shrunk in on itself, and there were moments of quiet and moments of raging, but they did not let it destroy them.
Her Nana was set, stone-faced and grim-eyed. She spent a lot of time staring at the sea. Aleja couldn’t even look at it. She used to love the ocean, used to swim and row and play in the tidepools, and now she couldn’t even bring herself to acknowledge it. It had taken Lance from her. Lance had willingly let it take him from her.
But life moved on. The gaping absence in their house slowly healed over, if it never went away completely. Life moved on, and Lance’s friends graduated and went on to do great things. Pidge was a marine biologist and ecologist, using technology designed by herself and Hunk to further her research. Aleja followed her work and occasionally talked to her. They both knew, after all.
And when Aleja moved away and went to college, when she pushed aside what her family had expected of her and took up the burden because she wanted to and no one else, when she moved to the east coast to study what she willed and see where it took her, when she joined the rowing team, she remembered her brother. She remembered Shiro.
And when she went down to the beach without her friends one day, when she saw a girl’s head pop up with a terrible grin and too-sharp teeth, she didn’t give it a chance to talk, but turned and left and warned her friends to not swim there anymore. A boy from her ocean science class went missing.
And one day, when she was back home to visit her family for winter break, and it was snowing, a rare occurrence, she went down to a cove that had lain undisturbed for years. She sat on a rock, and stared out to sea, and missed her brother.
A head surfaced. She started crying. He was different, changed, but he was still Lance. Still her younger brother. She talked to him for hours, hours and hours and hours, and when they were finished her grief wasn’t gone, but it was soothed, and that was enough for her. Lance was happy. Lance was free. And, when the second merman appeared and greeted him with a kiss and a smile that spoke volumes, it was clear that Lance was in love.