Well, I have been looking forward to this one and you have not disappointed.
When you set the stage, I was immediately hit with the horror of the situation. So often we see stories in the news about trafficking, but as much as a person wants to feel for those being trafficked, the story is still told from the perspective of an outsider looking at the victim. You are telling the story from the perspective of the one being trafficked and you do so brilliantly. I felt my chest getting tight from nerves and that trapped feeling.
Enter Eileen. Studded belt, combat boots, Sabbath shirt, and ouija in the cemetery. You tell us quite a bit about her looks and there are assumptions that may result (depending on the reader’s background,) but I have a feeling that she’s going to be quite layered. The image from the outside, if I were to just hear the description you gave, is that she is curious, a hair rebellious, and interested in the supernatural, but her interactions with Severus tell me that it’s more than that.
Then we have our old friend himself. I could just picture him the way you described! I’m grateful for the peek into his life as a young man and how he has (and also has not) fit into the dark wizarding community. We see him wanting to help fight against the injustices and hasn’t that been the story of his life? This characterization aligns with what is known about him and will make for such a nice look into his life at that age.
Throughout the chapter but especially when Eileen and Severus were talking, I had the feeling that I needed to be looking over my shoulder. I knew he was seeing her humanity and it was such a risk for the both of them.
Lots of feelings. Lots of angst. Lots more to be said. Excited to read more!
Thank you so much for reading! 😸 I am so excited that you were looking forward to this fic.
I am a horror writer by heart and this scenario is absolutely ripe for the horror genre, so best believe I went in full ham on it. I wish to say that the subject of human trafficking is a foreign and novel concept as we see here, but it really is not. So many people find themselves in Eileen's position all the time and that fact is where the true horror lies.
I love how much you love Eileen as a character. I really, REALLY wanted to write a goth character (as I myself am one) and this felt like the perfect setting for such a character. Many assumptions can be made because of it, but her actions (as you pointed out) speak a lot more to her depth. She's scared, but she will do whatever it takes to survive.
I fucking love Snape as a character. I refuse to romanticize the awful things that he has done though. He was very horribly mistreated as a child, but he has also horribly mistreated other children as a child himself and also as an adult. He is complicated. To quote Shrek, "He's like an onion. He has layers." I also made the story at this specific time, Voldemort is reigning and Snape is a Deatheater, but he is a year away from defecting. If that isn't morally gray, I don't know what is.
I'm also glad the sense of dread never abated throughout the fic. They are definitely not alone in that room and Severus would be in very big trouble for talking to her.
I haven’t written the next chapter, but here is a sneak peek for it when I do get around to writing it. 👤⛓️🧙🧙♂️💰
Eileen came across super well. The setting is perfect and I can just see the potential.
As for Snape, I appreciate the background! I’m not as well versed in the Marauder’s era or life before the happenings in the books, so this is quite helpful to me.
No rush. I know writing takes time. But man…Cannot. Wait.
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SomewhereLostInTranslation on Chapter 1 Sun 05 Oct 2025 09:53PM UTC
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Kativating on Chapter 1 Mon 06 Oct 2025 10:46PM UTC
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SomewhereLostInTranslation on Chapter 1 Mon 06 Oct 2025 11:17PM UTC
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