AJJSJAS no no, it’s okay. Honestly, comments like this make me so, so happy. My life sucks… a lot, to be honest. Most of the time I write just to vent, to turn my pain into stories and dump it onto characters in a different way. (DO NOT READ THAT MEDKIT FANFIC I MADE.)
When I wrote the first chapter of this, at first it was just another way to get my feelings out, like always… but people loved it. And even if it sounds kinda self-centered, all the sweet and supportive comments made me feel better really fast; for the first time I was happy without needing to take my meds. And btw, those things suck… don’t ever get depression.
Anyway, thank you for this. I know people analyze what I write a lot and that honestly makes me happy, seeing people like you understand the hints and the little details I hide, catching the deeper stuff I try to get across sometimes. I also wish this could go on forever—write tons of chapters, give everything. But sadly my brain is… worn out, and I feel like if I drag the story on too long I’ll end up projecting more of my personal issues into it, and I don’t want that messing with the actual plot.
Like, the last piece, yeah, I was thinking about Medkit, but it also had a bit of dedication to my ex. I don’t want to get obsessive again, so I just left it here, and thankfully he doesn’t know my account. This space kinda turned into a little refuge for me, and I love it.
I want to keep going, but I feel like 7-8 chapters is better. It’s better to give a proper ending than stretch it out and have it lose all flavor.
Thank you so much for your support. I promise I’ll try to outdo myself in the next chapter. I really, really love these comments—long, yeah—but full of sweet words, constructive criticism, and people loving something I made with love and sadness <33
Well, to be honest I'm glad that you can pour out your emotion into writing :) Art is and always has been about emotions and it is a great therapy to write out all of your anxiety, sadness or grief and project onto your favorite characters-not only do you share your art with the public and get positive feedback, but also it's just sometimes good to let it all out. If you're talking about the Medkit dying fanfic, it's awesome! I love the gruesome atmosphere and the gore-y description, the dynamic both him and Subspace have and that suffocation feeling of despair.
It's good, really. Don't worry about it and as a person with mental health issues too, it's really helpful to sometime let some fictional puppets suffer. As long as those thoughts don't affect real people around you, it's a good form of therapy. I have suffered countless times from feeling guilt over what I do and what I enjoy in fiction, but it genuinely helps me, so why should you worry?
And also, haha, dw about the chapters <3 It's 1. okay to feel tired and worn out, 2. okay to project your issues on the characters! It's your art :) And just generally about the chapters, it doesn't really matter if this work ends because even so, we have your other works! I enjoy the way you write and you are very slowly, but surely creeping up to my favorite-authors-ever list...Ooooh, spooky.
So, overall, I really do wish your life gets better and it certainly will. Please never forget that whatever's happening in your life, even if it may last 10, 20 years and feel like forever, is never *actually* forever. You are strong, and you will get out of your mess even if it feels like you won't-trust me on that. Continue writing, love yourself and life and never give up! Again, tons of love <3 It will get better, I promise!
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helloarska on Chapter 3 Mon 24 Nov 2025 09:48AM UTC
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