Comment on Carnal Retribution

1. FrailSpark on Chapter 7 Sat 16 Sep 2017 09:23PM UTC

   

   You don't have to worry that much about things, as you said it's your first fic and it's good enough for me. I didn't notice any plot hole, but I remember one inconsistency regarding the way Seifer calls Zell or rather, Zell's thoughts about the change, but I don't remember exactly what it was. I think you went a bit too far with the description of the hotel and Seifer's room, it seemed a bit unnecessary to go to so much detail. It's good to know you plan to rewrite this in the future giving Zell more time in the spotlight, it felt like he was shoved into the background even though his perspective would help the story.

   Despite all that, I'm enjoying reading it, so relax and enjoy yourself too. :)

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2. 1. Cocoaba on Chapter 7 Sat 16 Sep 2017 10:31PM UTC

      

      Thank you for enjoying the story either way! My Beta tore me a new one about overly describing unnecessary things. So now I know. Lol

      But a remake will totally be happening in the upcoming future. I feel bad that kinda pushed Zell back, but its a bit to late to squeeze him in.

      I hope you plan on reading the remaking when it happens! Thank again so much for reading my story!!

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   2. 1. FrailSpark on Chapter 7 Sat 16 Sep 2017 11:25PM UTC

         

         You're welcome. I definitely plan to read the remake. Also, even though it'll be a remake, it'll still be a new story for this fandom which needs more love.

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