I had an emotional reaction when I saw the premise of this story. I'm glad I'm the only person in the dorm right now!
As a server myself, I'm a little offended on both their behalves. What unprofessional staff.
Ah, the "you know he's into you, right?" scenario. I love how you handle both Aziraphale and Crowley's takes on it. Aziraphale is secure in his knowledge that Crowley considers the principality his one and only, so instead of getting territorial when someone else looks a little too long, it's almost like he's right alongside them going "yep, I see it too" except they're just looking at the dust jacket while he's got the extended edition. And Crowley is what could be considered charmingly oblivious if this weren't a repossession fic. Because the moment he realizes the effect he has on people without even trying, his recent experiences are too deeply engraved for simple bashfulness or even fake cockiness to be his response.
Honestly half the reason this is so heartrending is because i'm so used to seeing "you know he's into you, right?" as a comedy setup.
So Aziraphale had grown tired of the nonsense and decided to stake his claim. I'm sure Aziraphale just thought he was saving Crowley from an awkward situation. Since Crowley has apparently started repressing his trigger responses, the angel can't tell how distressing the situation actually is for him. I can understand getting caught up in the the delights of the evening, but I am a little disappointed in him for not noticing the signs sooner; a constantly-open empathy link doesn't suddenly go quiet for no reason.
Making Gabriel some kind of twisted hero in this brief bit of Crowley's narrative is incredible. I've talked about the idolization before, but that was always just between the two of them. This is a new aspect.
Crowley always obeyed. Um, are you sure about that, Gabe? You do remember why he's still here, at all, still putting up with this, right? Then again, obeying isn't the same as telling the truth, and Gabe has practically built this whole relationship on the one lie Crowley refuses to let go of.
Crowley twisted his body away, protecting the files, his eyes darting around the hallway. Gabriel noted how desperate he seemed to get back, to complete his errand. It pleased him, in a way. But it was all tainted by Crowley’s apparent willingness to keep secrets from him. Because he has no reason to think you'd take his side, Gabe, jeez.
Everyone knows what you’re really for. And it’s not running stupid errands.” You've stated before that part of the reason Aziraphale was slow to pick up on the signs of exactly what Crowley went through during captivity was because he wasn't as familiar with such things. So, I'm a little hesitant to ask, but...why is Remuel so familiar?
So, on top of the god complex he already had, now he's gonna develop a savior complex, too. I really hate him.
I don't really feel like it's something that's just constant. Like, I don't think most of the time Aziraphale and Crowley are completely aware of how the other is feeling. I see it more like, if 1) it's a very strong emotional reaction, like panic from Crowley, like fury from Aziraphale or 2) if they choose to open it up and show the other one how they're feeling, like Aziraphale deliberately surrounding Crowley with his love, or Crowley choosing to show Aziraphale bits and pieces of his trauma.
If Crowley's just feeling a little uneasy, Aziraphale's not necessarily going to be aware of that, and he's probably not gonna pick up on it in the normal human-ish way, either, because he's much better with positive emotions, as you pointed out.
Then re: Remuel - my thinking with him is that a predator recognizes a predator (and also recognizes prey, unfortunately :( ... ) I think the angels all have varying levels of experience with humanity, with emotions, etc. Some are almost innocent... others are almost human :P
And some, like Gabriel (and Remuel, though he's a baby psycho at this point) are monsters at heart, drawn to situations of power over others.
Think of it like how Gabriel just ASSUMED for a while that Aziraphale was using Crowley and didn't really love him. He was just taking advantage of him, he'd get frustrated/angry with him and hurt him or reject him if he got him back "damaged".
In a similar way, Remuel looks at Gabriel, and at Crowley, and the way Gabriel treats Crowley (publicly torturing him with the collar, forcing him to kneel, manhandling and abusing him) and he thinks, "NO WAY he's not taking FULL advantage of that." And he just assumes that his twisted, fucked up perception of the situation must be "obvious" to everyone, right? "Everyone knows that's not what your for" - that's not true, everyone is NOT a little psycho monster like you (and Gabriel.)
One of the reasons Aziraphale doesn't see what's going on until much later is that he's having such a good time; and to me, that's a major aspect of Aziraphale's character. He chooses so much and so hard to focus on what is positive and comfortable that he can kind of become blinded to other things. He doesn't want Crowley to be hurting, and so he has a hard time recognizing it. And he wants so badly for Crowley to be better, to feel better, and he's going to assume that going to a fancy restaurant is happy, and comfortable, and good, so he accidentally takes the dangerously optimistic perspective that Crowley is also having a good time. He must be, since he's having a nice dinner, and he's with his love. That's a happy thing!
It's sort of like the "In case things go pear shaped"/"I like pears" interaction, in the show. I think that captures a lot of who Aziraphale is. That (very British) sensibility of "oh, let's not talk about unpleasant things."
And, in Aziraphale's defense, Crowley isn't making it very easy on him. He's not using his words and saying "I'm feeling scared and unsafe," he's actually trying to prevent Aziraphale from realizing how upset he is. If you have some internal biases that make something harder to see, and then someone actively tries to hide it from you, and a part of you doesn't really want to go looking too hard for that thing, well, it's understandable that you wouldn't see it.
(Plus, on a meta level, these Repossession recovery fics don't work as well if one or both of the characters is doing everything perfectly. Not much room to work, there. In some of my Repossession recovery fics people often comment with what the characters ought to have done, or suggestions for healthier emotional work. But we're all here for angst, which is harder to do if Aziraphale gets everything right the first time!)
My conception of Remuel as a character is that he's more like Gabriel than Aziraphale. If angels aren't immune to the corrupting influence of power, if it's possible for Gabriel to be a sadistic bully, then there must be other angels around with similar streaks. And Aziraphale is perhaps a bit more naive than the average angel. So if Aziraphale is on one end of the bell curve, and Gabriel is on the other end, there's lots of room in the middle for cruelty and bullying and moral ambiguity. Plus, Gabriel has been flaunting his slave around (though he'd absolutely deny that he was doing it) and there have been enough rumors going around that at least some of it got into Remuel's head.
I also imagined that anyone who's been working for, or near, Gabriel for any time has been pushed around in some way and seen how Gabriel abuses his power in pettier ways, and that could definitely have awakened in them a sort of vengeful desire to take it out on someone else. Gabriel in this Repossession characterization is going to have an effect on the people around him. Gabriel might think it's all Crowley who brings this 'evil' everywhere, but there's a lot of evidence to suggest that it's Gabriel who influences and inspires other beings toward corruption. Maybe Remuel has aspirations of being a hotshot like Gabriel someday, and thinks that being a total jerkwad is how to get there, based on Gabriel being a jerkwad. The fish rots from the head, and an asshole leader creates a toxic organization. So this is a reflection on who Gabriel is and the kind of culture he's built around him, what he demonstrates is appropriate behavior. Aziraphale would have been more distant from that, being on earth and also not really caring about the power politics in Heaven.
Comment on Ego Culpa
InksandPens on Chapter 1 Tue 10 Dec 2019 08:02PM UTC
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dreamsofspike on Chapter 1 Wed 11 Dec 2019 06:09AM UTC
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boughofawillowtree on Chapter 1 Wed 11 Dec 2019 06:18AM UTC
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