Comment on Blind, But Now

  1. Zariyari on Chapter 1 Mon 24 Feb 2020 01:04PM UTC

    Hello! I've never played the game, but my gf sent me this fic because she said it was an amazing story, with awesome writing, and she said I'd love it :)

    I read the first chapter last night. I do, she's right, I love it haha.

    You're writing is wonderful. There's a lot of 'show don't tell' which I appreciate as a writer -- I know how hard it is to say things without saying them. Ghirahim's clearly at odds with himself, and wants to be involved with Link (I don't mean that romantically even, he just cares about his attention yk?). It's done really well :)

    For my own sanity I hope he stops thinking about Link as a child... I think that's the direction you're going? I half read the next chapter and Fi calls Link a man, and Ghirahim refuses to agree. It's like he's refusing to see Link as an equal. So that's done well too.

    The opening paragraph is lovely, and you use personification well (something about the ground being greedy, when his feet sink down into the mud). It's refreshing to read something written with various literary tools being used.

    Okay I'll stop gushing! I'll leave comments as i go. Thank you so much for writing and sharing :) I never thought I'd read any LoZ fic but here we are.

    Wait one more! Your Link is really in character, which for a character like Link is really hard to do. He still feels like Link even tho he talks a bit.

    Oh no one more! When Link said Ghirahim's name, when things went too far for him, my heart stopped. It was somehow really sweet? And Ghirahim listened to him, you know, he backed off.

    Maybe I read too much into it. But it was really nice ;_;

    Okay NOW I'm done!

    Last Edited Mon 24 Feb 2020 01:06PM UTC

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    1. aperplexingpuzzle on Chapter 1 Tue 25 Feb 2020 12:28AM UTC

      Oh gosh! Well first of all, tell your gf thank you so much! :D

      Secondly, thank YOU so much! It’s been an interesting challenge to try for “show don’t tell” with a character who can’t see, but it means I’ve been paying a lot of attention to the other senses, which has actually been a very good exercise XD I’m glad that’s come across well.

      And no, you didn’t read too much into it! In-game and in this fic, Ghirahim is often poking in past comfort level despite Link’s protests, but at this point it was actually really important to me that he listened and backed off. It’s... a tiny little building block, I guess, but something to grow off of ;-;

      Thank you for commenting, and I hope you enjoy the story!

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