Comment on Rust and Stardust

  1. ThePlaceByTheRiver Wed 10 Aug 2022 05:08PM UTC

    First, thank you so SO much for taking the time to write this thoughtful and thought-provoking comment, and for all the very kind things you've said here . Writing (esp fic!) sometimes feels like trying to start a conversation while sitting alone in a room, so, y'know, thanks for tapping on the other side of the wall and all :-D

    Dreykov definitely can never be claimed by any one woman or character, and one of the fun things about fic is how many permutations of a character there can be! That said, I do kind of find you the authority on him, so your reaction meant a lot :-D I also found it so interesting that you responded to the belly/lampshade moment, bc, in combination with our other chat, it sort of highlights how what (some) women find sexy about men is that they are HUMAN. And that they age, their body changes, they lose their strength. It's the opposite of objectification, which is what (some) men do to women. (And this makes me even more grrrrr... :-D)

    This thing kind of ended up being an extended meditation on how our society normalizes the sexualization of young girls and very young women, to such an extent that it actually manipulates women into becoming complicit in their own objectification and commodification. (And then, feeling guilty about it!) I relate so much to where you are mentally, and I feel like I have been processing it for YEARS (and still am, tbh). I wouldn't say I have a lot of hope to offer, but... :)

    I think that, when one lives in a power-imbalanced society that is built to perpetuate that imbalance - whether it's totalitarianism or garden-variety patriarchy - sometimes, it feels like it is SAFEST to give away one's power/birthright in exchange from "protection" or a higher standing in the entrenched system. (I.e., "um, sure, we can do a threesome with your ex-gf, I'm totally ok with that, TOTALLY" ... "I KNEW you weren't like OTHER GIRLS, babe" :-D) But... unlike people trapped in the Soviet system, nothing is stopping us from ultimately seeing that we are getting a raw deal, and taking our own power back. And what I love about living in THIS time, is how many more women are realizing it, than used to. And taking it back.

    Thank you again for your comment, so much - it was an absolute joy to read and think about - and for all your encouragement while it was getting written!!!

    Comment Actions