Comment on Always- a Harry Potter Story

  1. Mauricio_Psy (Guest) on Chapter 12 Fri 14 Mar 2025 02:37AM UTC

    I really like the chapter, but I feel like it's missing something. The previous one had a very strong emotional charge and, at least I, feel strange that Snape makes no mention of the event.
    Ideas: He couldn't have seen Lily up close, not remembered but seen her, which makes him remember that after all Harry is her son? Perhaps it was the impulse that gave him enough anger to decide to take care of Potter?

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    1. TheTieDyeJedi on Chapter 12 Fri 14 Mar 2025 02:14PM UTC

      Hmmm.... I wonder what it's missing? I think I was focusing on Snape's mixed emotions over why he was concerned for Harry than anything else. His anger is perhaps a cover-up for that concern, mixed with remembering Lily each time he looks at Harry but also remembering James... I don't know. I'll think over it.

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      1. Mauricio_Psy (Guest) on Chapter 12 Fri 14 Mar 2025 02:18PM UTC

        What I miss is perhaps some reflection on Snape's part. Something like what you did for Harry at the beginning.
        I don't feel that there is a before and after in the Severus of two chapters ago and this one. And the previous chapter felt like something that should have hit Snape even harder.
        I mean, he just saw Lily again as if she were there, not just a memory of her... It's at least shocking, I think.
        Maybe that's what prompted him to ask to be a referee? Because he felt he owed it to her?

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        1. TheTieDyeJedi on Chapter 12 Fri 14 Mar 2025 02:48PM UTC

          (Sorry didn't see this one!)
          Ah, reflection, yes. You have some great points, Psy. It would make sense that the real reason Snape agreed to referee was because of Lily, because he owed it to her to protect Harry. I think the reason I wrote Snape so differently in this chapter verses the previous was because Snape is unused to showing his deepest feelings and in turn was hiding everything behind his anger. But I definitely think over what you've said, and perhaps make some changes...

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          1. Mauricio_Psy (Guest) on Chapter 12 Fri 14 Mar 2025 03:25PM UTC

            Exactly, Snape's way of acting seems super coherent to me.
            Maybe it's just my eccentricity and the whole thing reads well. But that's what we're here for, right? To give an opinion. ; )

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            1. TheTieDyeJedi on Chapter 12 Fri 14 Mar 2025 09:49PM UTC

              Aw, thank you, Psy. I was worrying it might not be coherent, but happy it is!
              But yes, exactly! That's what we're here for and I appreciate you taking the time to read this and give your opinions. :3

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