Yeah, I feel like, in this fandom especially, people tend to forget that the fourth wall exists. No one character, except maybe Bran and even he is not a mind reader, knows everything that everyone else has been through.
Almost every single Stark wanted to or tried to get to Jon when they were in trouble, so yeah I do think that they would have him as their first priority. Rickon because he was the youngest sometimes felt almost forgotten about, yet Jon risked everything to save him. Sansa may have been over inflating Jon's role but he was literally the first person in her life post her fathers death to unconditionally love her for HER and look out for her, like I don't get people who say she was manipulative and jealous when she was the waving the biggest "GO JON" flag in the last two seasons.
As for Catelyn, Sansa and Arya are more than knowledgeable about what she had done for them. They both love her completely, and (chapter 8 includes a scene between Arya and Catelyn).
Robb however... well he will not be getting let off the hook for the Talisa decision. While he won’t be blamed for the Red Wedding, marrying Talisa was selfishness that Jon (whose own parents as far as he is currently aware did the same), Ned (having to live with the direct fall out R x L), and Sansa (who feels abandoned by his choice which arguably she was, Robb did what Robb wanted no matter how it affected others) will definitely be throwing back into his face in various parts of the story. (Note: this only applies to Talisa, I think his entire family would understand the Jeyne of it all)
As for Jon… well he’s been through a lot. I’ve talked about it in other comments, but yeah a lot is applicable here. He is definitely going to be playing “Achilles in his Tent” for a good portion of the first act. He is just done with everyone, he has given his life (Twice) and has no desire to do it again, he is mad at the world, he is mad at Ned specifically (not any bullshit about rights to “his” throne, man could give away power fast enough in S8 so I am going with that), and he is just done overall. (I honestly think that this is gonna be his reaction in the book post resurrection. I definitely don’t plan on using the wet paper bag from the later seasons, no offense to Kit, as he CAN play Jon well, he just did not have anything to work with)
In this fandom, people blame characters for not having ESP or not having read the books... So frustrating... And then, in fanfiction characters act in completely irrational and illogical ways just because the author knows the future, and fans go all "oh, he/she's so smart!"... Thanks
What really blows my mind is despite the fact that we see them do this, we never get the opposite. Like the really boneheaded decisions we see that were smart in the short run but blow up in faces in the long run (Red Wedding) don’t get nearly as much shot, compared to the ones that made total sense and benefited them in the long run run but seem stupid in the here and now. (Executing Richard Karstark).
Or like you said, decisions that in no way were predictable (Balon already having a FULL fleet and then invading the North instead of an actual strategic target)
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