Comment on Maybe it's time to live a little

  1. StarChaser_7 on Chapter 1 Tue 02 Sep 2025 02:17AM UTC

    Hey, I have a few notes here you can ignore if you want.
    A conversation should be broken up, instead of one large paragraph, for example:
    “That was just my personal vault?!” He exclaimed, shivers running through his body, he still was in shock everytime he thought about the amount of money within his vault.
    “To be frank Mr Potter, you could not work a day in your life, and still have enough money to live off of.” Replied the Goblin to the concerned wizard.

    Adding emotion, and actions to the conversation taking place helps build upon the readers understand and drive them into the story.
    Additionally, either using a grammar checker, or getting a beta reader to help edit is beneficial.
    You’ve got a great story so far, looking forward to the rest.

    Comment Actions

    1. Isitraumgisly (Saaendra2000) on Chapter 1 Tue 02 Sep 2025 10:07AM UTC

      Hey, I realized that a few chapters later but I probably should go back to the first few chapters and update them 😅 . Thanks for reminding me.

      Comment Actions