Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He woke up in his dorm, staring at the ceiling. He struggled as he tried to force his brain to work again. He doesn’t remember walking back to his room. He thinks distantly that this should worry him more, but it doesn’t. He’s too tired to care. He drags his eyes to the alarm clock sitting beside him.“7:35” it reads, and he groans out loud. The last thing he wants to do is get up right now. His whole body felt like lead, his stomach had settled but in such a way that he knew moving would pull it back towards misery. His head had yet to stop hurting but that wasn’t anything new. With the wound he still had yet to look at being left untreated, it wasn’t surprising it still hurt like a bitch. He knew he’d have to force himself to clean it thoroughly, and probably stitch it. That could wait a little though, he didn’t trust himself not to pass out in the middle of it. “7:40” the minutes were ticking by and he just watched them, and couldn't find the motivation to move. His mind was screaming at him to get up, that he was going to be late but his heart continued beating slowly and his eyelids pulled heavily. God he felt like he could sleep for a fucking year. What if he just didn't get up? It seemed so easy at the moment, so much easier than pulling his body off of the comforting mattress. He breathed in deeply as he tried to distract his mind, from his own thoughts. He continued with his inner turmoil until a voice pulled him back to reality. It seemed to be spoken through the door, and was calling his name after a soft knock, 

“Um, Bakugou? Are you still in there?” Shit, was Shitty Hair waiting this whole time? Guilt suddenly started to crush his conscience. God, talk about selfish, Wallowing in self pity while making trouble for others. That’s just fucking like you, to be a pathetic little bitch. The thought drifted into his mind, slowly like a wave but with so much power behind it, he couldn’t focus on anything else but the words. How true they were. It always sounded kinda like his mom, mingled with his own voice. Usually, he could push the voice away, he was always striving for the best. He was always able to prove to the voice it was wrong, lately though everything it said seemed to be true. It was selfish and weak of him to sleep in, continue to lay in bed. It was cowardly that he couldn’t even bring himself to look at the injury he had been the fault of. He’d have to take care of that tonight.

He suddenly remembered that he had yet to respond and with quick movements he went to stand up. The action caused his vision to turn to static and after a few more steps to where he thought his dresser was, it had turned black. He kept moving forward though, even as he was walking blind. He blinked and felt as the world flipped on its axis. He couldn’t see so he didn’t know if he was still standing or not, until he collided with the hard floor. Slowly his vision returned as he tried to reorient himself. His eyes stung, as he held back frustrating tears. He can’t even stand up now? How much weaker could he get? He wouldn’t let himself cry though, not if he could help it. He took a deep breath and steadied his shaking limbs, and pulled himself up using the dresser. Apparently, Shitty Hair had heard the commotion as he was knocking and calling out to Bakugou again.

“I’m fucking coming, hold on!” Crap, he really had to hurry up, he’d worry about whatever the everloving fuck that little episode was later. He didn’t really have time to shower, so he just yanked his uniform on. He winced as he pulled the undershirt over his head, but kept the beanie firmly on his head the whole time. He promised himself that tonight he would look at it. But not right now. He’s sure his hair looks a mess, and he didn’t have time to put on any concealer. Oh well, he couldn’t do anything about it now, so he didn’t even bother looking in the mirror. Hastily, he opened the door and was met with way more faces than he was counting on. They were all fucking there. Shitty Hair, Pikachu, Raccoon Eyes, and Tape face. All standing there giving him smiles. Which dulled slightly as they took in his appearance, he felt his cheeks burn slightly, he knew he looked like shit, it was embarrassing. He really needed to quit that, or someone would start noticing and he was not about to expose the fact that he blushes so fucking easily to everyone. 

“The fuck are you all doing here?” he half shouted, he didn’t have the energy nor the willpower to make it much louder. His head would certainly thank him, as it was still killing him. The pain was throbbing in his entire head, and stabbing pains would shoot out every couple of seconds. Once he got to class he’d down a couple extra painkillers. That’d probably help, or at least he hoped it would. 

“What do you mean! We just wanna walk with our best bro!” Shitty Hair answered. It seemed suspicious to him. Sure, Kirishima and him walked to class sometimes, but that was just because they were neighbors. This was very much premeditated. They all had to have talked about it beforehand, plus he was late. So they specifically waited for him, something they never bothered to do before. What changed? Did they notice something was off? Ya they’re probably pitying you for being such a weak shit, you couldn’t even finish a fucking obstacle coarse. 

That would make sense, he’d forgotten about that shit show. He wished he could go back to that bliss. Where he’d forgotten just how much he’d revealed. And he couldn’t have just left it at that. Nope, he had to go cry in the bathroom and be sick right where Shitty Hair could hear. He’d even let himself be hugged afterwards. God, he was just so tired. So worried that Kirishima would think he was lying, the relief that he didn’t, had almost made him let his guard down. He wouldn’t let himself do that again. He needed to be stronger, he didn’t need to depend on anyone. Even if the hug had helped, and had been the first one he’d had in a very long time. His dad used to hug him, when he was really small. He’d long since stopped, in fact he hardly even looked at him anymore. He doubted he’d even care if his mom ended up killing him one day. Just look at the mess and utter a disappointed ”Mitsuki..” for having been made to put effort into covering it up. In retrospect, pity seemed better than indifference so he forgave his friends this one time. He simply huffed at them before stomping down the hallway. He didn’t have to wait for them to follow, they were right at his heels. His limbs still felt like lead so he slowed his movements just a tad. He made a note to do extra stretching before training. 

He risked a glance in the others direction. They seemed like they wanted to say something but were holding back. He hated that they were holding their tongue around him. What did they think he couldn’t handle whatever the fuck they were gonna say! 

“Spit it the fuck out.” The rest looked at him questioningly and he rolled his eyes. “Whatever you wanna say just fucking say it!” but they just continued to look apprehensive and it was starting to seriously tick him off, he was about to make a bigger scene when Racoon eyes finally started talking.  

“Um, you know Blasty I’ve been wondering why you’ve been wearing that beanie lately?” What a stupid question, that was what they were fretting about asking? He didn’t believe it for a second. 

“I just fucking felt like it.” What else were they expecting him to say? ‘Ya my mom smashed me into a counter and busted my head open, but I don’t want anyone to find out, so I’m wearing this.’ Not happening. They just seemed to nod at his non answer and the rest of the walk they simply talked between themselves. He appreciated that at least, even if the noise was slightly grating on his nerves. They made it to class on time, barely. As soon as the last of their group had taken their seats Aizawa was coming in and calling the class to attention. He drawled on for a while, not saying anything of true importance before promptly passing out into his sleeping bag again.

The noise in the classroom started out quiet but was slowly rising as time went on. They weren’t allowed to leave their seats while homeroom was still in session, but it didn’t stop anyone from talking loudly with anyone sitting near them. He was trying to read up on some of the material he had accidentally missed by not paying attention, but his concentration kept getting interrupted by someone else’s voice. It was starting to get on his nerves, and the longer he sat there stewing, the more it grew. He knew it was irrational, they weren’t doing anything wrong. It didn’t stop his vision being clouded with red as his anger grew. Suddenly he was at his tipping point and he was barely keeping himself back. It was at that point Deku decided to poke him, and call out his name rather loudly. He always did have the worst timing. 

“What the fuck do you want, you stupid fucking shitty ass useless nerd!” He knew it was overkill, definitely too many profanities in one sentence. It didn’t stop them from leaving his mouth though. He knew the useless part hurt especially bad. Deku was just staring at him with wide eyes, but he seemed to grow a backbone and was soon looking back at him angrily.

“What is your problem Kacchan?!” 

“What’s my fucking problem?! What’s yours? Are you so fucking desperate for my attention you can’t keep your hands to yourself? Fuckin leave me alone already! And everyone else needs to shut up too! I can’t even hear myself think!” He knew it was too much, he knew but he couldn’t seem to stomp down his immense frustration. He didn’t even know why he was so angry, it didn’t make any sense. Iida apparently decided it was too much too, and decided to get in the middle of it. 

“Bakugou! That is no way to speak to your classmates! Midoriya and everyone else are doing nothing wrong. The only one here who is causing an issue is you.” He knew it was true but it didn’t stop him from feeling downright outraged. Who the fuck did he think he was, talking down to him like that. He was about to retort when Round Face decided to speak up.

“Ya, Deku didn’t do anything wrong, you're just being rude! You do know the world doesn’t revolve around you right?” He was about to freak the fuck out on her when in his rush to stand up he bumped his head into Iida’s arm that had been waving around, he had moved to get in between Deku and himself, so much for following the rules Class Prez. Immediately his head started pounding so hard he couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think apart from the blinding pain he was experiencing. He sank back into his chair and held his head in his hands. His eyes starting to water without his permission. Her next words muffled as he barely kept himself from groaning out loud by holding what little breath he still had. 

“Covering your ears because you don’t like what I say doesn’t make it less true Bakugou.” 

“Um, guys let’s just let this go alright?” Kirishima spoke up when Bakugou again didn’t speak. Uraraka was about to come to her friend's aid again and continue speaking up for him when Deku put a hand on her arm. Effectively shutting her up, and he again tried to call out to Bakugou. Softer this time. Concern being very evident in his eyes as he did so. Round face now having calmed down seemed to take a closer look at Bakugou and realized just out of character this was for their explosive classmate. They all stopped to stare at him, not that he noticed. They waited for him to reply with his usual ‘fuck off', tensions high throughout the classroom. That wasn’t the reply they got. 

“..sorry.”

___________

The entire room was silent as what had just reached their ears started to register. What had just happened? First Kacchan was yelling and seemed super upset about something and the next he was apologizing?! He could count on one hand how many times Kacchan had apologized since they’d known each other, and none of those had been for something as simple as yelling at him too strongly. He could tell something was wrong as soon as he had backed down from the fight in the first place, but this was sending off all kinds of red flags in his head. He’d ignored the first warning signs, and he was cursing himself for having done so. 

Not seeing him at lunch, his fall in heroics class. He was allowed to have an off day. But this, this had to be much worse. It had kinda been what he wanted to ask him about in the first place. He looked terrible, his dark circles were darker then he’d ever seen them, and his hair was sticking up all funny under the beanie. Which was also a bit weird, he never wore one before. He scanned all over Kacchan’s body, looking for anything off. He was a bit pale, and he had been holding his head before he had slumped down and ended up lying on his arms. Which was another off thing, was he seriously asleep right now?! Maybe he just had a really bad headache? Had he hurt himself in his fall or was it before that? 

He was about to stand up, go over to stand in front of him and get a better look when Aizawa was suddenly waking up. Seriously?! How did he sleep through that? But apparently he had, as he just left the classroom, signaling the start of their next period. He’d have to figure this out later, when he could actually talk to him and look him over closer. He looked around the room only to find more concerned faces. 

Uraraka seemed at least semi guilty as she eyed Kacchan’s still form from her desk. She had to know Kacchan’s sudden apology was out of character as well. Some other classmates seemed somewhat concerned or at least confused, but quickly moved on as the next lesson commenced. Bakugou’s friends though, they seemed more on edge, eyes rarely leaving the other. He made a mental note to ask them if they knew anything. He glanced back down at his desk. His detailed notes staring back at him. He peeked over to Kacchan’s desk where his notes were peaking out. They seemed pretty scarce, and messy unlike his usual tedious notes. He cursed himself for being too distracted to notice anything was wrong with him. He felt bad for yelling at him earlier. He’d thought he was just lashing out before, but if his reason was he was in pain he could have been nicer. Maybe not let his friends speak up for him so harshly. He hadn’t known though, how could he! He never told him anything! Even if their relationship had been getting better recently it was more of a rival relationship, and Bakugou wouldn’t want him to know any of his weaknesses. He was still going to help him though, even if he wouldn't admit they were friends. They were and always would be friends and friends watched each other's backs. He’d get to the bottom of this, even if Kacchan didn’t want him too. 

__________

When the blinding and all encompassing pain had passed, he didn’t remember anything besides the pain in his head. Ah his mom had probably hit him again, he didn’t know what for but he probably deserved it. She was probably yelling at him to apologize, even if he didn’t know what he had done wrong. He always did, even if he didn’t mean it. Just empty words. It’s why he preferred to apologize using actions rather than words. Words didn’t mean anything, anyone can say something and not follow through. He did it anyway though, it would make her happy. It sounded far off and muffled to his ears, but knowing she’d be satisfied at the display he allowed himself to relax, and sink into his arms. It was comforting, and although his head still hurt it waned just a bit. Maybe if he tried, he could imagine they were his friends arms. He felt safer that way, and he wasn’t in the right state of mind to care that the thought was cowardly. He knew he was gonna pass out, he’d done it enough times lately to know when it was coming, but he couldn’t bring himself to care at that moment. He just waited for it to take him. The quiet sounded nice, he didn’t have to worry about anything when he was passed out. Didn’t feel guilty for wasting time he could be using to train or study. It was nice, even if his world felt upside down and he was spinning uncontrollably.

The next time he came to, he was immediately confused. Where was his mom, wasn’t she just here? Wasn’t he at home? Maybe he was dreaming? It seemed the most likely, and searching beyond that memory, he did remember yelling at Deku and a couple other extras so he probably fell asleep after that or something. He looked around and registered that they were in the middle of Present Mic’s lesson. That had to mean he’d been asleep for two periods already. Had no one noticed he was asleep, or tried to call on him?. It seemed extremely unlikely to him, but he’d take the small mercies he could get. The next period was lunch and although he didn’t want to eat, he didn’t really want to stay in his seat either, so when the bell finally rang he gladly got up to go to the cafeteria. He wanted a change of pace at least. 

Immediately, he was swarmed by his squad . Kirishima even going as far as to wrap his arm around his shoulders. He shrugged it off, but Shitty Hair just went with it, still beaming at him. 

“Hey dude, you coming with us to the cafeteria? We could always bring you something back if you don’t feel like going.” He knew Kirishima was still probably worried about him, after his little episode earlier. He was smiling, but it seemed wary, and he was absentmindedly rubbing at his neck. It was a habit he had seemed to pick up, and it made him very easy to read.

“Na, I feel like going. Hurry the fuck up or the line will get too long.” 

“Alright man if you’re sure.” He didn’t seem convinced, but Bakugou wasn’t about to dwell on it, and was soon stomping out of the room and down the hall. As expected they all followed behind him, annoyingly close. He made it to the cafeteria doors without incident. That was until he opened them. Instantly, warm air hit his face, and the smell of so many foods mixing in the air almost caused him to gag. He held back though and held his breath as best he could. It was hard though when his shitty group kept trying to talk to him. 

“Hey Blasty, are you ready for the test coming up” He hadn’t known about any tests coming up, but that didn’t matter. He’d ace anything they put in front of him. He’d just have to stay up late a couple nights to do extra studying, no big deal. Oh ya because you’ve just been so on top of things lately, talking big when you can’t back it up. Admit it, you're going to fail because lately you’ve been useless. He refused to listen to those thoughts, even if a part of him found them true. No, he’d get over whatever this was. His head would heal. He’d get back on top of his hero studies, and his classwork. He’d get better, he was fine . It didn’t matter that he couldn’t control his anger, or that his head was killing him, his nausea made him dizzy, and he couldn’t control his shivering sometimes. Of course he told them such, can’t have them looking down on him. 

“Of course I’m fucking ready, who do you think you’re talking to?!” 

“That’s our Blasty, always prepared!” Raccoon eyes cooed.

“Ooh maybe we should do a study session, because I am NOT.” Pikachu said from behind him, Tape face just solemnly nodding beside him. God they were such lost causes. He’d help them if they asked though, they probably deserved it for putting up with him. It was nearing his turn in line, so he turned his attention back to the food. He still didn’t feel like eating, but he’d grab something to force himself to eat anyway. He hadn’t had anything today and he knew he needed to eat something. So he grabbed the same Miso soup and rice he had the day before, when Shitty Hair had brought it to him. He usually hated eating the same thing twice, but for some reason he didn’t mind this time. His group continued to chatter even as they all had their food and were making their way to a table. He’d stay for a while, it was nice having some sense of normalcy. 

That was until the chatter turned into nails on a chalkboard. Not literally, but that’s what it felt like. He needed to get out of there before it got too bad, and he ended up snapping at one of his friends. He got up wordlessly, not even replying when they asked him where he was going. It wasn't unusual for him to disappear, although it wasn’t often. They’d probably think something was up but if he responded now he’d come off pissed. Not that he wasn’t but they didn’t need to know that. He put away his tray, only a couple bites taken out of it, and pushed on towards the door. Until someone was stepping in front of him.

“Wow you look like shit. The beast of 1A finally falling? Good to know even you can be brought down by something as simple as a stomach bug.” Monoma stated from his place in front of him, blocking his escape exit.

“I’m not fucking sick moron! Now move the hell out of my way, before I fucking make you!” Monoma just glared and smirked, not moving an inch. He was seething, how dare he try to imply he was weak! He’d show him fucking weak! If his anger was a steady stream before, it was a raging river at the moment, threatening to spill over if given the chance. He moved towards him, getting in his face.  

“You're not sick? Then what pray tell is the problem. Are you crumbling under the pressure? Can’t take it anymore? I can’t say I’m surprised, 1B has always been the superior class, no one in 1B would be so weak..” weak. Weak. Weak.  He didn’t register his friends coming up behind him, trying to make Monoma shut up. He was so angry he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t even feel. “Or maybe.. It’s an act. Do you need more attention? No recent villain attacks to shine your class in the spotlig-” 

He stared down at his hands, some red substance lightly coating his knuckles. He vaguely registered that his hand hurt. He glanced up and was met with the eyes of concerned classmates. What were they looking at? Were they looking at... him? He managed to tear his eyes away from the one’s staring at him. What they met next was even worse. 

Monoma sprawled on the ground. Hand clutching his nose, as crimson red blood gushed from underneath it. He was staring back at him with a horrified expression. Had he really done that? He was horrified to realize he had, in fact, been the one to attack Monoma. His dazed eyes registered that Kirishima was making his way towards him, it was all too much. He didn’t understand why he'd done that, and so he did the only thing he felt he could do. 

He ran.

He didn’t know where he was going. He just knew he needed to get out . He ran quite a ways, and looking around once he couldn't run anymore, he seemed to be in the outer forest part of UA. It was as good a place as any so he sat against a tree and tried to figure out what had happened. His emotions were swirling inside him, like they couldn’t quite decide what he was supposed to feel, so he just felt them all as if they were cranked up as high as they could go. He clutched his hand to his chest as he tried to calm down his heart and his nausea.

“Bakugou.” He was startled from his thoughts by the voice, causing him to quickly stand and turn toward the voice. Standing not that far away was Aizawa. He didn’t want to know how his teacher had found him so quickly, all he could think was how he was going to be expelled. He couldn’t even complain, he’d done this to himself. He averted his eyes, and somehow his teacher took that as incentive to come closer, now only a good two strides away from him. 

“Would you like to tell me what happened?” He didn’t know what had happened, why he had gotten so mad, but if he said that he’d surely think there was something wrong with him and expel him anyway, so he opted to stay silent. Aizawa waited a couple seconds before sighing.

“Bakugou, if you don’t tell me what happened I can only guess from my point of view. From where I stand it looks as though you attacked another classmate, unprovoked. Or at least that’s his side of the story. Tell me, is that true?” He stayed quiet. It wasn’t true, he guesses he did attack Monoma but it was definitely not unprovoked, or at least he thinks so.

“Bakugou, you know you can get in serious trouble for this. You're lucky we have Recovery Girl here who fixed Monoma’s broken nose. Otherwise it could have been a lot worse for you. I’ll ask you one last time, Bakugou. Is there anything going on I should know about?” He managed to shake his head no, and Aizawa just leveled him with a calculating look. Eventually he sighed again, and suddenly Bakugou was regretting not saying anything. Was he going to expel him because he didn’t answer? And a small part of him even wondered if he’d punish him, to make him understand what Monoma had felt.  

“You're on cleaning duty for 2 weeks, and you’re not allowed to be involved in Heroics training starting now. That’s not to say you won’t do it at all though. After school tomorrow and for the rest of your sentence you’ll be attending extra classes as well.” That was it? He wasn’t going to be expelled, or worse? He sighed in relief, until his next sentence registered in his mind. “I will also be calling your parents.” 

His heart stopped, and his breath halted. He didn’t want to know how his mom would react to this, the last time he’d had to be punished for fighting was back in middle school, and he thought he was going to die. Now that he was at UA in the hero course, she wouldn’t let this slide. He desperately wanted to ask his teacher not to, beg him even. But his pride wouldn’t let him. He just stared straight ahead, for the rest of lunch, and the rest of the day. It didn’t matter anyway he wasn’t allowed to do heroics and that was all they did after lunch. He stayed there for a long time, he wasn't even sure how long it had really been, he was too lost in his thoughts. Could he even trust himself anymore? What if he ended up hurting his friends in his rage? No, he’d never. Even with Monoma it was because he was asking for it, right? He felt like he was going fucking insane. He was called out of his downward spiral when he realized his phone had been buzzing for a while. He pulled it out of his pocket, squinting at the bright light when he was surrounded by darkness. What he saw made his blood run cold, and his stomach plummet into his feet.

Hag: 27 Missed Calls