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Chapter Text

Prologue: Chapters 1-6
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This story is a work of fiction.

Actually, most of this world is a work of fiction.
From the smiles of rising pop stars to the shining lights of a stageplay, it’s fabricated, exaggerated, and everything that might reflect badly on the overall illusion is neatly covered up.
That being the case, an “idol fan” is by definition somebody who wants to be lied to.
And in this world of show business, lies are a weapon.

Which brings us to... Ai.

I let out a high-pitched squeal, before exhaling.
“Ahhhhh, what I would give to see Ai’s cuteness in person…”

Ai is the 16-year-old center of the up-and-coming idol group B-Komachi.
Ai had long, deep purple hair, tied up to the side in a ponytail with a bunny-shaped clip.
Her smile, her voice, her dance moves - they all seemed meticulously perfect.

Despite having formed a whole 4 years ago, B-Komachi are still an underground group,
and are only just starting to see the fruits of their labour.

“Sensei,” called a familiar voice from behind me. That voice was of the nurse Aya, my junior colleague at the hospital I work in. Out of all the people in this establishment, it seems she is the one I know best.

“Sensei,” she repeated again in an increasingly exasperated tone from the last time.“Would you please watch these… what do you call them… ”
“They’re Idol DVDs. It’s B-Komachi’s latest release~” I chirpily replied.
“Ah yes, these ‘ idol DVDs ,’ at home instead?” She turned to the side, tutting in disapproval. “This is a patient’s room. Nobody in their right mind would behave so unprofessionally.”
“It seems as if I had forgotten to explain,” I said, gently pushing my glasses up against my face with my index finger.
“Seeing beautiful things is good for your health. It’s my official medical opinion. ”
“Right. Just like it's my official medical opinion that you should stop watching singing teenagers in fancy dress costumes."
"Hey," I retorted, but before I had a chance to properly respond to Aya’s burning insult, she quickly retrieved something from her pocket.
”Hm? What's that," I asked, leaning in.

Presumably in an attempt to answer my question, Aya held out the phone she retrieved.
I adjusted my glasses, and...

“WHAAAAT?! AI’S GOING ON HIATUS?”

According to the tweet Aya had just shoved in my face, B-Komachi’s Ai was going on hiatus due to health reasons.
“Oh, I forgot. She’s your idol,” she groaned with her ever-deadpan expression, as if mocking me. “Isn't she sixteen..?”
Aya then peered over my shoulder at the pile of DVDs stacked up next to the TV.
“Aren’t these people a little young for you…?”
“...What are you implying?” I unamusedly inquired, staring at my colleague.
“Oh nothing, just that you’re a total weirdo. ”
I let out a small shout of “hey” in protest, desperately flapped my arms around the DVD pile, as if to reassure Aya of my innocence.
“I have my reasons, alright?”
She giggled, "and what might those be?"

“Uhh..."
The patient whose room we've been conversing in for the past few minutes finally let out a grumble,
With an awkward expression on his face, he let out the words, "Am I meant to be hearing this..?"

“S-Sorry,” I shamefully mumbled as I slumped out the room.
“Gorou, tell me the story next time,” Aya remarked over the blaring TV audio of Our Sign Is B .

“But turn this darned thing off! Hey!!”

Even back then, I slacked off in patients’ rooms a lot. But one patient I met that way...
Changed my destiny forever.

“This one’s Mei-Mei. She’s a great dancer,” the girl in the bunny-clip-adorned hat turned to me.
“Ari-pyan and Kyun-pan are better singers, but my favourite is…”

The girl turned to the wall plastered with merchandise of her oshi's face.

“…The one and only Ai!"
"She’s the same age as me, but she looks so grown-up, and she’s an amazing singer and dancer!"
"But most of all, her face…”
“In my next life, I want to be blessed with a face like that.”

"Hey," I remembered responding.
"Don't go thinking about your next life when you're still alive right now."

This girl was Sarina, a patient in the hospital’s care.
It was a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine to give these patients company,
instead of letting them rot away in these white halls.

“Eh? Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like to be a celebrity’s kid?” She turned to the window, looking out at the snowy landscape.
“Like, what it’d be like to be born with looks and connections?”

“Nope.”

“You have no dreams, sensei!” Sarina pouted her lips.

“Sarina-chan, you’re cute enough as it is. Once you’re discharged, go become an idol.” Sarina turned away from the window. “If you do, I’ll be your fan.”

“You mean it?!” she exclaimed, her face brightening up and hat almost falling off from the upwards motion.
"I'll practice every day. I promise!"

4 years have passed since that day.

“If she had lived…” Aya turned to me on the rooftop of the hospital.
“She’d be sixteen like Ai. When I watch that girl onstage, I’m just thinking of Sarina-chan.”
I wiped the cold Spring mist off of my glasses. “Ai is living Sarina-chan’s dream right now. I just want to watch her get there.”

“I see,” replied Aya stoicly, staring me dead in the eyes. “So what you’re saying is, you like little girls.”

"Hey-" I interjected, but Aya turned round to face the stairway back inside.

"Lunch break is nearly over, Gorou.
Oh, and you have a new client today.”

"Aw," I groaned, making my way downstairs with her.

By the time I got to the bottom, I was almost late to my shift.
Don't get me wrong - I was on time, but it's always better to be early than get caught slacking.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” I apologised, hurriedly stumbling into my office. But even as I said that remark, I was still thinking about Ai…
Isn’t she having health issues right now? I hope she’ll be okay…
Ack! Focus on the job at hand!

“So um, Hoshino-san, this is your first visit,  right?”
“Yes,” the timid girl with long black hair replied.

It looks like her pregnancy was about 20 weeks along.
It's a little late for a first exam, but she’s only sixteen.
It’s probably a touchy situation.

I turned to the man sitting beside her. “Are you her father?”

“Well, on paper…” He coughed, looking down in embarrasmnet.
“She grew up in a children’s home, but I’m technically her guardian now.”

Sixteen… Raised in a children’s home… Where have I heard that before? It’s almost like that idol-
And that’s when I noticed...

That face.

Her dark purple, almost black locks of hair extended about to her waist, and her striking eyes stared directly at me.
“Just… Give me a second,” I hastily spat, rushing myself to another room.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! This can’t be real!! Is she just a lookalike?
No way - I’ve been a fan for years, there’s no mistaking the real deal-!
It’s Ai in person! Why is she out in the middle of nowhere?
Actually, probably so she didn't have to deal with doctors like me...

So, deciding to finally be professional, I re-entered the room.

“Ahem,” I muttered, “it’s time for your checkup.”

“ It looks like you’re 20 weeks pregnant… with twins," I told them bluntly.

The two of them blankly stared off into space.
“Twins,” they muttered in unison.

"Ai,” the guy called, turning to her.
“Are you sure about this? If word gets out that you gave birth at sixteen, both you and my business are done for.”
The man, seemingly in his forties or so, looked into his technically-kind-of-daughter’s eyes with an intense expression.

“Well…” She said, turning to me. “What do you think?”

...

"Ultimately, it’s your decision. Think it over carefully. As your doctor, that’s all I can tell you…"
That's what I decided to tell her. But is it really as simple as that?

Is it really as simple as that?

Can you still be a fan of an idol when she’s a mother with kids to take care of?
We claim to love these idols, but when they do something we don’t like, we reject them and cry up a storm online.
After all, as fans, when we get down to it...
We’re all pretty self-centered.

I stared off at the mountains in the distance.
This rooftop was the place me and Sarina sometimes went to look at the stars.

—Speaking of stars!!

“Heya, sensei~” called a chirpy voice from behind me.

“Hoshino-san? What are you doing here?”
Knowing full well the cold night air isn’t good for her, the girl walked up to stand beside me at the edge of the balcony.

“I’m fine. I bundled up anyway.”
In a moment of silence, she took a second to gaze at the star-speckled sky.
“I only came to this hospital because the president recommended it, but it’s actually a nice place."
"Even at sunset, the stars are so clear. It’s never like this in Tokyo!”

Hmm. "The president?"
Could she perhaps be talking about her father-in-law?
I decided to ask the question that'd been on my mind for a while at this point.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“Did you come all the way out here because you thought you’d attract attention in Tokyo?”

The girl stared back at me with a captivating expression, before switching to one of confusion.
“…Uhh, did I mention my job...?”

“A long time ago, I had a patient who was a fan of your---“

“Oops.” She cut me off. “All the doctors here are old guys, so I thought nobody would figure it out.”
She put one finger to her cheek and stuck her tongue out, closing an eye to form a cheeky wink.
“I guess there’s no hiding all this unending charisma.”

So egotistical...
But there was one question still left on my mind.
" Ai-chan… After this, are you going to be retiring as an idol?”

She turned around to face me.

“No? Why would I?”

“Well, you’re carrying twins…”

Ai smiled.
“The thing is, I don’t actually have a family."
"I’ve always wanted one.”
"Once I have these kids, they'll be able to see their mom on TV. Isn't that amazing?"

In this sunset sky, even as the stars began to come out, one star still remained the brightest… That being…

“Idols are like objects of worship, you know? The magic of lies makes us shine.”
"Lies are an outstanding kind of love."
“Being able to hide a kid or two, is the kind of thing that proves any idol’s skill."
"We pile on the lies, and no matter how hard things may get, we sing and act happy onstage! It’s a fun job!
"Although…”

The one star I could say shines brightest wasn’t in the sky at all. In fact…

“Only, I’d like the ‘being happy’ part to not be true. Nobody notices, but we have hearts of our own."
"Happiness of a mother, or happiness as an idol… Normally you’d have to pick one, but…”

The brightest star was right in front of me here the whole time.

“I want both! I’m a greedy girl, after all.”

And its name was Hoshino Ai.

“There’s a good possibility you’ll need a C-section.”

“Huh?”

It had been 8 weeks since that last meeting I had with Ai.
Without their center, B-Komachi paused group activities and the members were instead doing solo interviews instead.
But because they were a group whose most popular member was on hiatus,
these comparitively unknown idols weren’t exactly doing numbers.

“With your babies, if they have large skulls, the pelvic opening often isn’t wide enough,” I explained to Ai.

“A scar on her stomach?! But, her job-“ nervously replied her manager, who was standing next to her as usual.

“No worries,” Ai smiled. “I’ll manage a natural delivery. I mean, they’re my kids after all! They’re sure to be tiny, delicate-faced beauties!”

It was 15 weeks since that last meeting with Ai. I promised to her that I’d make her delivery as smooth as possible. To protect her family.
And frankly, I have mixed feelings about this situation, but I’m hiding them, because…

“Lies are love.”

Those are beginning to sound like wise words to me.

“See you this night, sensei,” muttered Ai as I turned to exit the room. “But if I call you, come back right away, okay?”

I was momentarily puzzled by the strange request. As a doctor, I spend so much time around patients that I forget things like childbirth are rare occurrences to most people.

“I live really close to the hospital, so I’ll be back quickly if you need, okay?”

Ai smiled, waving me goodbye as I left the hospital. It was pitch black, the road barely illuminated by the occasional beam from an outdated streetlamp.

Once this is all over, I’ll lose my connection to Ai. We’ll just be an idol and her fan again.

Over the past few months, I saw a personality she normally hides. And I think I like it. To return back and pretend like this was all a dream… I don’t like that idea, but even so…

I’ll support her happiness from the bottom of my heart.

“Hey. Are you Ai Hoshino’s doctor?”

. . .

“Wait a minute. Even if you saw her at the hospital, how do you know her family name when she never released it to the public? Are you a family member?”

. . .

No response.
"Can I get your name?"

. . .

Once again, no response.
The tense atmosphere was sharply broken by a fast movement in my direction-!

Is he a stalker?!

Quickly, I increased my pace and raced off the path.
I kept running for a minute or so, until I started to get out of breath,
so I stopped to  hide behind some shrubbery.

Phew.

After a moment to catch my breath, I think I finally lost him.
Damn that guy, making me run down a mountain road like this - on the night where Ai’s about to give birth no less!!!!
Well, I think I’m fi—

Crash!

Pitch black.

Nnn….? What was that? My mind just went blank for a second.
I think my foot slipped… Where’s my phone? Has Ai gone into labour?
It’s dark… I need to…

"Ugh!"

I can’t move...
What the hell?! I promised Ai that I’d make sure her twins were born healthy… But at this rate…

I have to get up, but…
All I can smell is…

Blood.

Chapter Text

Have you ever wondered, "what if I were a celebrity's kid? What if I were born into this world with connections and looks?"
I never really gave it any thought. After all, I figured a guy like me would be headed to hell after death.
But if I were to die at this very moment, then there's a good chance I'd be reborn as her kid...

And when I woke up,
I was in Ai's arms.

---

How bizzare!

The last thing I remember, I was bleeding out in a pitch-black hole, but now I'm somehow looking up at Hoshino Ai's face, cradled in her arms.
Something is totally wrong here. For a guy like me to be in such a situation, it's completely, totally wrong. Why me?
But before I could finish my philosophical introspection, my thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the an ear-piercing wail.

"WAAAAAAH!"

Oh. So this is hell after all.
Turning my bulbous baby-sized head to the side, I glanced over the shoulder my new mother to check what that noise was.
It turns out it wasn't hell. It was my new sister.

"Hey, Aqua~" chirped Ai, placing my tiny body down onto the sofa and moving over to the kid in the crib. I groaned.
Patting the girl on the head, Ai turned her head over to me.

"Uh, isn't he Aqua? That's Ruby. Can't you even remember your own kids' names?"
"What can I say? I'm bad with faces." Ai shrugged, standing up. "You Japanese men have such crazy illusions about how mommies need to be. Although..."
Ai turned to the company president. "Although, I do remember the names of people who I think are important. Like you, president Sato~"
The man facepalmed, grimacing. "It's Ichigo Saitou."

I've known this guy since my previous life. He's the president of Ai's agency - Ichigo Productions.
But who I didn't know in my previous life was his wife, Miyako Saitou-san.

"Anyway," the man interjected. "You're making your idol comeback today, so let's review how this is going to work. Your first appearance is on a music program tonight - it's a live broadcast, but you'll manage, right?"
"Of course!" Cheery as always, Ai smiled in response.
"And, while you're working..." Ichigo added, "my wife will watch the twins."
Ai's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Huh? Can't I bring them to work with me?"
Saitou's eyebrows furrowed, this time even more than the girl's next to him. "Tell me you're not seriously asking that--! Get this into your skull, kid!" The president got ready to explain further, pointing his finger at Ai in accusation.
"You're an idol and a mother of two at sixteen - If the public finds out, your career ends right here! And, since it happened on my watch, my agency will be toast with you!"
Saitou sighed, his intensity dying down a little, into a pensive resignation. "We'll go to media hell together."

A single droplet of sweat trickled down Ai's pale, exasperated face. "But... what if there's an emergency and they have to come with me?"
"Then just say you're taking care of our kids. Got it?" At this point, Saitou looked rather unamused, checking his watch in anticipation. With him being Ai's legal guardian and all, he seems to act like a surrogate father to her - although, his "fatherly advice" is a rather scathing... "Let's move. It's almost time for rehearsal."

As Ai left the room with her producer in tow, she called out her goodbyes to us.
"Bye-bye, Ruby!" The girl waved nonchalantly, with a cheerful grin on her face, stepping outside the apartment and into the hall.
"That's Aqua," scolded Ichigo Saitou, turning around before slamming the door on the three of us still in the room.

Miyako Saitou, the wife of Ichigo Saitou, let out a groan as she laid down on the sofa with me.
"Ugh... I've never babysat in my life... Why did they dump this on me?"
Looks like we're in for a long ride.

---

About an hour passed since Saitou and Ai left the room. I switched on the TV - it's time for them to come onto TV.

"Let's hear it for the members of B-Komachi!" The TV immediately started blaring out the broadcast - we caught it just in time.
As the most popular member of the group, Ai almost always takes center stage - so naturally, that's the person the interviewer would start with first.

"So, Ai-san, this is your first day back on the job! Are you okay? Are you eating properly..?"
"Yeah, I'm eating a ton! And speaking of eating..." Ai giggled, her eyes closed and glossy hair static in the dead-air studio environment. "My kids--"
"Your... kids?" the interviewer inquired. I spat out my drink.
"My ki-ttens, that I adopted during my recovery, have been soooo hungry! Who knew cats would love fish so much?" She nervously grinned.

Despite the high-stakes scenario, her expressions never faltered, even when her choice of words was... Well, sloppy at best.
-But that's Ai for you. Over the short time I've gotten to know her, she's always exuded this airheaded energy.
And with all that being said, this whole "lying to cover up my existence" thing... Isn't gonna work, is it?

---

"B-Komachi. Do you like them?" A soft voice spoke from behind the camera in the studio.
"I'm not interested. I heard their CD, and all I could say about it was that it was painfully average. Ai's the only one selling this group."

"I know their name, but they dropped off the radar for six months. If that's not a red flag, I dunno what is."
"Yeah. They're just an overhyped indie group. I don't know why they're being filmed."

"These questions aren't very interesting. Are they seriously focusing on one member?"
"Well, since Ai joined, their previous center has been totally overshadowed, because they're going for the same demographic. It's a shame, really."
"So what you're saying is, she got totally replaced just because one person was a little more interesting?"
"Yeah. That's show-business for you."

"Ichigo Productions? Never heard of them."
"Yeah, I bet they have such low standards that I could ask that one out on a date right now. They're really scouting a bunch of nobodies."
"I think the producer is just scouting his type."
"Well, if I ask that one to pose in a suggestive way, then maybe I'll get a promotion..."
"Haha, we can try-- Oh crap, I was meant to change angles there."

In the entertainment industry, the smiles cover lies and selfish motives.
Dead air can't happen. In order to get the best possible show out of any performer, the staff will lie to their faces to manipulate their expressions.
They talk like they're making art, but they're really only looking at the bottom line. Anything that isn't perfect is conviniently hidden away, as if it never happened.
Most of them came here for noble reasons, but slowly everyone's spirits get crushed and they end up lying to chase promotions and momentary fame.

They don't want to.
But they end up doing it anyway.

"Great. Bring it on, then."

That president's something else.

"See, my Ai..."

If people find out about this, he'll lose everything.

"...Is a professional liar."

I get it, though. When you're faced with a light so intense, people just get burned.
It draws them in like moths to a flame.
Even when they realise their wings will burn off, they can't stop.
I'm no exception. Even if this business is rotten from the core...
I'm happy I get to watch Ai from up close this time.

I mean, someone killed me.
And I'm actually grateful to him.

...To be honest, I just wish Ai could have normal kids. But it's totally out of my control - humans can't fight the supernatural, so I'm just going to sit back and enjoy this.
Speaking of "normal kids..."

"Hey, they're live already!!" From the first moment my sister wakes up, to the last thing she says before going to sleep, she's always shouting about Ai.
"Why didn't you wake me up eaaaarlier--!" she cried, as she crawled her tiny body over to the TV.
"Ohmigod, mom is waaaaay to cute!! Every viewer should be playing a hundred million yen for this!"
"Come on, live broadcasts are live for a reason - these bodies get stupid sleepy, so let's help eachother out, okay?!"

"Actually, I tried to wake you up several times already."

"For real...?"

You see, my sister isn't exactly a normal baby either...
From what I've gathered, she has a past life of her own - but we've decided to keep our private lives to ourselves.
As I said earlier, I just wish Ai could've had normal kids.

Not freaky ones like us.

"Uwaaah, her face is great, her figure's great, her singing's great, and she's got a killer personality~! Our mom is an unstoppable force!"
"If you keep screaming about her, you won't be able to hear her."
"Hmm." Ruby paused for a moment. "You know what, Aqua? You're actually pretty smart."

Actually, Ruby, you're just pretty dumb.

Chapter Text

It's been a few months after B-Komachi's comeback, and Ai's become unspeakably rich! Our family, now showered in as much money as we could dream, have decided to go on vacation to-- ...In our dreams.

"Just 50,000 yen..." Ai let out a sigh, disgruntledly staring at her slim monthly paycheck. [Writer's Note: This is roughly $300USD]
"I wanted to make more," she said, picking my sister up and dangling her in the air. "Then you guys could go to a good school, but... The pay at this agency is way too low!"

"You knew about the tight margins when you signed up. Don't complain to me," Miyako retorted.

"I'm not complaining," Ai pouted, "well..."
Ai stared up at the ceiling, index finger on her chin.
"I am complaining."

"As I said, you knew about this when you signed on!"

Meanwhile, my sister made eye contact with me.
"What?" I whispered back in an agitated tone.

"Aren't idols meant to make like, a million yen every month," my sister innocently inquired into my ear.

"Of course not."

"What? They don't?! Mom deserves soooo much better than that. In fact, even if idols usually made a million yen a month, I think mom should get two million!"

Ruby often goes on these long-winded tangents about Ai with this unbridled, kinetic enthusiasm.
I wonder what kind of person she was like in her past life. I wouldn't be surprised if she was some kind of super-idol-fan.
Even if she didn't know Ai back then, maybe of some other popular idol. Any idol would be lucky to have a fan like her... or cursed, depending on how you see it.
From an outsider's perspective, I can see why Ruby would be annoying or perhaps even endearing - but whenever I hear Ruby talk like that, I have a personal memory I can't shake.
Because whenever I look at Ruby, I'm reminded of...

Sarina-chan.

Sometimes the two seem so similar that I wonder if they're the same person.
But they're not. They couldn't be.
After all, Sarina-chan passed away 4 years ago. Even if she was reincarnated into another body, it almost certainly wouldn't be Ruby's.
So, with all that being said...

Just what kind of person were you, Hoshino Ruby?

Ruby's brash attitude strong as ever, she was presumably about to continue her long-winded rant about how underrated Hoshino Ai is, when she was rudely interrupted by...
Hoshino Ai.
"Goodness! What did you just say, Ruby?"
Ai beamed as she pushed her face up to my sister's. "Please don't tell me I missed your first words..."

Crap. Did Ai hear us? If so, we're in deep trouble. Deep enough trouble that if we're caught as 4-month-old speakers, we might get experimented on in a lab.
But just as I was freaking out...

"Gaba gugu," Ruby gargled.

"Wow, Ruby-chan is so eloquent! Well, they are my kids after all. Of course they'll be geniuses," Ai grinned, praising Ruby's fake baby-like speech, adorning that "cute girl persona" that seems to sell well in the idol world.
Still, after knowing Ai for this long, I feel like there's something almost inhuman about this. Something practiced.
There's some kind of spark behind those eyes...
Or am I just imagining it?

"Still, I'm glad I didn't miss your first words."

I couldn't make out what Ai said.
After more than 15 years of adult life, I was almost tempted to say "pardon," and ask her to repeat herself.
But now, as a grown man pretending to be a baby, I have to hold that instinct in.
Well, I can't complain. Apart from the occasional risk of a slip-up, this is a pretty easygoing life.
Nobody expects anything from me, and while I haven't thought about it very much, I guess I'll be living out my high-school and college days again.
A chance to redo life from the start in a loving family...
Yeah. that sounds nice. Maybe I'll be a surgeon this time around.

But for now, I'm fine with just coasting on my baby privelage.

"You look kinda down, Ai-chan," Niino consoled, walking over to me and smiling.
"You're just getting over being sick. Don't push yourself, okay, Ai?"

Mm. Are they catching on? Well, I guess I've got to give them a distraction this time.
"Oh no, that's not it! I just didn't get to eat lunch! I'm staaaarving!"

Whenever something goes wrong in the idol world, the easiest way to resolve it is to lie.
After all, in the entertainment world, lies are a weapon.

Well, I'm not feeling it today. Maybe I'll just Google myself to pass the time.
...What?

[ Tanujirou ] ♥
"Ai smiles like a pro. Sometimes it's like there's no human feeling behind it... She can't quite be my oshi."

That hits home a little too hard.
That's enough Twitter for today.

We've got three members of B-Komachi here with us today!

"I've never seen mom perform live before!!" Ruby squealed over the mumblings of the crowd.

We've been taken to Ai's mini concert, the kind of one that you need to buy 10 DVDs to even get a chance of winning.
Even in my time of being a devoted B-Komachi fan, I don't think I've ever won any of those giveaways.
Well, it doesn't matter. We get to be here because Ai insisted anyway - I'm not going to put up a fight.
Just as long as we don't stand out and look like normal members of the crowd, we'll be fine.

"Right, Ruby?" I spoke to my sister, but the sly tone of my voice betrayed the words I was saying.
Of course, that was what I was trying to communicate.
Ruby nodded with a mischevious smile, pacifier in mouth.

As the group walked onto the stage, the crowd erupted in a roar of cheers and screaming, people waving their penlights above.
Ai smiled.

After all, for better or for worse, Ai smiles like a pro.

Well, sure I do. That's what I am. A pro.

Somehow it's like there's no human feeling behind it...

That makes no sense. You're the ones who don't want us to seem human.

I practice in the mirror. I polish it down to the millimeter.
The way I squinch up my eyes.
The corners of my mouth.
It's all calculated.
I always perform the smile that people will like the most.

I'm made of lies, after all.

...

Isn't there something--

Just at that moment, me and Ruby pulled out our glowsticks and began the dance we had been rehearsing for weeks.
Spin round.
Go up and to the left.
Wait a second.

Ever since we noticed Ai was starting to look down, we knew we had to cheer her up somehow.
So we came up with a plan, knowing that it puts us in danger by drawing attention to ourselves.
I guess we're selfish like that.

And of course, at that very moment...

Ai stopped.

Her face lit up into an expression I couldn't even have imagined.

A smile with the light of a thousand stars. The ends of her mouth pointed up at a gentle 45-degree curve.

Her eyes widened, reflecting the thousand purple and orange glowsticks of the audience, waving to the beat. Her eyebrows raised and turned in joy. And most importantly of all...

She looked genuinely, truly happy.

"Looks like I've finally done it."

Home sweet home!

After the concert, Ai sleepily flopped onto the sofa, grabbing me and holding my body to her chest.
"Yawn... So tired," she sighed. Good job, you too.

"Sorry to spoil the sweet-as-diabetes family moment, but what those two did was super dangerous," Miyako chimed in.

"What? Why?" Ai dejectedly sat up, hastily dropping me down on the cushion next to her.

"They drew attention to themselves. They could've easily been found out! And then we... And then we--"

"It's fine." Ai smiled with confidence.

"But if they paid too much attention, they might have notic-"

"Don't worry about it."
This time, Ai spoke in a monotone voice.
She pulled out her phone and stared at it with an intense gaze.

What's... What's going on?

Then, her eyes suddenly shot open, with a feeling that looked like a mix between fear and excitement.
"I-I'm going to my room, can you take care of these two," Ai asked, as she frantically dashed out of the room.
"W-What? Don't you-- Ugh, whatever." Miyako groaned, turning to her laptop to do more work.

Well, I guess if there's any time to talk to Ruby, I guess it's now. I'll give it my best shot.

"Ruby-chan."

"Yeah?"

"What was your past life like?"

[ Boa256 ] ✜
"That doesn't look like Ai's normal smile at all, I guess she really liked those kids' dance lol "

[ rei_na_ ] ツ
"those kids are funny lol"

[ Tanujirou ] ♥
"Yes, that face!!!! That's the one!!!! "

Ah. So this is "good."
I'll remember that.

Chapter Text

"Just who are you, Ruby Hoshino?"

"I'm..." Ruby stopped and wavered.

"I'm..." Her voice grew softer.

...

"Not telling you, teehee!"

"Come on," I yelled in fustration.

"Well," Ruby pondered. "I think it's better we don't talk about our past lives. Mine was kind of depressing, honestly!
So let's not think about those kinds of things, 'kay?"

"Now that I mention it... Mine was, too."

I turned away from Ruby.
I'd rather not pry into my sister's business - especially when I don't want to talk about mine either.
Because Sarina is dead.
No matter how much Ruby reminds me of her, no amount of wishing will bring her back.

Never.

Nearly two years passed since I started this new life with my sister.
By now, we're big enough to stand up and talk to each other without raising much suspicion.

Right now, the two of us are plopped down on our brand-new couch, sitting next to Ai.
Well, when I say our "brand new couch," I mean our "technically-it’s-third-hand-but-it’s-new-to-us couch." Funny how that works.
Ai's been trying to get Ruby and I to make a picture with a cheap pack of crayons for the past half hour, until I eventually gave up drawing with them and started trying to juggle them out of boredom.

"Aquaaaa," Ruby whined, poking me in the belly.
"What," I snapped back with a glare.
"Are you just gonna sit there and chew those crayons?"
Ruby grinned back at me - all while she knew full well that I’d never consume those things.

"Aqua-!" Ai called in an irritated tone, lifting me up from beneath the arms. "If you're not careful, you'll catch crayon's disease."
As a doctor in my past life, I can pretty confidently say that "crayon's disease" is not a real thing...
Ai plucked the red crayon from my habd, and placed it gently next to Ruby. Gleefully, she picked it up and immediately started scribbling with it.
Don't tell me she got me told off just so she could get her hands on the red..!

"I think Ruby's an artistic genius or something. When she's older, she might be a famous painter!"
"Really?" Ruby looked up at our mother with big, puppy-dog eyes.
"What do you want to do when you're older, Ruby," Ai asked my sister.
But... Ruby didn't respond.
"You're not sure? Well, you have plenty of time to decide," Ai said, brushing her bangs out of her face and standing up.
"We better get going, or else Miyako will be mad."

"Listen, you two," the woman scolded. "I'm bringing you along because you insisted, but whatever you do--"

"...Don't call Ai-san 'mom' while you're here."
"Don't forget, you're supposed to be my kids."

Currently, us twins and Ai are on a long car trip to reach the filming set for Ai's first drama show.
Even though she's playing a relatively small role that won't earn her much money, it'll be on her resume and increase her connections.
And those connections alone are worth it.

"Okay, mommy Miyako. Give me headpats," teased Ruby.
"Mine too, mama. I want my allowance," Ai chimed in.
Miyako groaned.

But when we finally got there, Ai bowed to the production crew as she entered the studio.
The show's director looked at her with an exasperated face.

"Is there something wrong, director," Ai inquired.
"Not really, although," he pondered, glancing over at Ruby and me.
"A--hem," he coughed.

"What are these --children-- doing here...?"
"Oh! They're mine," Miyako reassured, smiling from across the room and quickly walking over.
"A manager bringing kids to work...? Isn't that a little--"

Uh oh.

Ruby, Miyako, and I all froze in unison.
The director pressed his finger to his chin in wonder.
"Is this one of those new-fangled labor reforms?
What an age we live in."

Phew!

We spent a short while walking around the set, being oggled at by the crew for my fluffy hair and adorable eyes.
I recognised a lot of these people as minor celebrities. One of them was an up-and-coming actor that's "too cute to handle," another a model from a few years back...
But when Ai went into the dressing room, I decided to wander out into the hallway for a break.
I didn't come here to get prodded by a bunch of slightly famous people - I came here to watch Ai.

Walking out into the hallway, I was confronted by the director once again.
"Hm? Well, if it isn't the manager's kid."
"Hello," I mumbled, awkwardly waving at him and sitting down a few meters away from where he was positioned.
"Listen, I don't really care if you're here, but if you start crying and we have to stop the filming, I'm shutting you out of the studio."

"Absolutely not, d-director! I would never consider doing something so disrespectful that would harm the production to such an exte--"
In a flurry of anxiety, I started to use all the polite language in the dictionary, betraying my character of a normal kid in an instant.

Ah.

"Where did you pick up vocabulary like that?"

Umm.

"I watch a lot of YouTube..."

I'm cooked--!

"MAN, YouTube is AWESOME!!! What an age we live in!"

.....Phew.

"I've seen my fair share of precocious actors, but you seem special."
"You would probably make for a real fun visual... so I'd like to use you for something in the future."
"Here's my business card. If you sign on with an agency, call me."

"No way."

"I'll pay you."

"If you're handing out jobs, send them to Ai, not me."

"Oh. The idol. Right." The director wore a stoic, demeaning expression.
"I'll tell you what - If you promise to act in my next film, I'll let her co-star too, okay?"

...

"Fine."

About a year passed without any calls from the director. At that point, when he finally did call me, I didn’t even remember who he was.

"Hey, genius boy."
"What?"
"Remember that promise we made a year ago?"
"...What promise? You're a creep."
"Well, I've got a movie for you."
"Not interes-"
"...And that idol, Ai."
“Oh. I remember you now.”

Chapter Text

“If you’re scared of falling, you’ll just fall harder.”

Yeah. If I heard those words back then, maybe I wouldn’t be in this situation right now.

If I was like everyone else, and didn’t have a rampant ego, and didn’t believe I was a genius… maybe people would have loved me.

I always took one step too far and got burnt, and cried about it, as if I didn’t know fire would be hot.

Well, whatever happened in the past can’t be helped now.

“Thank you for choosing to work with Aqua today,” said Miyako, as she juggled a wriggling Ruby in her arms.
The director chuckled. “Not at all. And that… one issue, I heard it was taken care of, correct?”
“That one issue,” wondered Miyako, pausing for a moment to remember. “Oh! Yes. Aqua-kun has been signed up to Ichigo Productions.”

You see, if I wasn’t signed to an agency, the casters could be in massive trouble for having me work with them. Yay! Now I get to work in a movie—
—Not. Because I never wanted to act in the first place!

“Director. My sister’s over there. She’s better at acting, so call her over.”
He stared at her. Ruby stared back.
“Nope, I still want you.”

Suddenly, Ruby burst into tears.
“WAAAAH!! THAT GUY WITH A WEIRD FACE IS STARING AT ME FUNNY!!! I WANNA GO HOOOOME!”
“Be quiet, Ruby—“
“WAAAAAH!!!! WHERE’S MOOOOOOM?!!!!UWAAAAAA—“
I aggressively whispered to her, “uh, she’s right there,” trying to remind her of our fake mother in our prescence right now.
”WAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!”
Jeez. One of these days, she’s totally gonna blow our cover.

But just as I was about to tell her off, Ruby’s wailing session was interrupted by a slap on the wrist by another kid that seemed about our age.

That kid was…

Arima Kana, a famous child actress who can allegedly “cry in ten seconds.”
I’ve seen her on the Internet in “top 25 best upcoming child actor performances of this season” videos. (Listen, I had nothing better to do.)

“Look, this is a professional workplace,” Arima grumbled. “If you’re just here to complain, then go home!”
Ruby stared at her blankly for a few seconds, before exclaiming, “Hey, is that Arima Kana, the genius child actor with cryogenics?!”
“—Cry in TEN SECONDS FLAT, you mean! Jeez. Kids these days are so disrespectful.”

Isn’t she our age…?

“Anyway, everyone says the way I cry in dramas is astounding, because it is!
I’ve never seen of either of you before, so I reckon you pulled strings behind scenes to get in!
During the read-through, you and the idol weren’t in here. Mom said the director forced it through.”
Kana explained with a smug but resentful grin.

“That’s not what happene—” I pleaded.

“I watched the drama the director shot last year. She was in it… for 10 seconds! I bet her acting sucked so bad, they had to CUT all of it!”

Actually, on my prior phone call with the director, he told me it was cut because Ai was so charming that it was distracting.

”M-mommy,” Ruby cried, sucking her thumb.
”Huh? What about your mom? She’s right there, you know,” Kana said, pointing to Miyako.
”Y-You're a.... BIG MEANIEEEEEEEE!!!”

…And then Ruby burst into tears again.

The scenery was perfect.
Despite this being a low-budget project, I could tell the staff were doing their best.
Actually, perhaps they were doing their best for the very reason that it WAS a low-budget project. They’re in here for the passion, and it shows.

Apparently my role in this movie is to be a creepy child in the woods, alongside Arima-san.
We're supposed to be "welcoming" the main character to a village, in a way that sounds somehow eerie and suspicious.

”Okay, action!”
“Greetings, visitor. We welcome you to our village. Please relax, and…” Kana paused. ”Enjoy your stay. Hehe.”

She pulled it off well.
Even though the lines themselves were completely innocuous, her soft and eerie delivery sold it.
By all metrics, Arima Kana is a good actor for her age. If I try to act her level and try putting on some extravagant performance, then it’s going to go horriibly.

So… I’ll just play to my advantage instead.

“Why did the director want me here?”
Probably because of the mismatch between my mental age and my childlike body.
So, essentially…
What he’s saying is, I’m creepy enough as I already am. If I just act naturally, I’ll be fine.

Yeah. I think I’ve got it now.

I stared at her with a flat face. But not the bored face of a child, but instead wearing the tired 20-years-of-a-monotonous-day-job face of a weary adult.

…Nice. That seemed to do it.

As soon as the camera turned off, star of the show - a young woman playing the protagonist - dashed over to me.

“That was terrific! You totally gave me goosebumps.”

“Did I? That’s great! I was just being—“

But just as I was about to finish my sentence…

“No. It’s not. It’s not great at all—! Director. We’re doing another take.” “Hmm? It was fine,” he said, picking up his pen and twiddling it around.

That voice was, for all intents and purposes, the desperate voice of a child who couldn’t be understood by the adults around her.
In a way, you could say that was precisely my situation right now.
But in my case, it didn’t bother me at all. I was happy just slacking off and being a muisance to those around me.
But for someone who prided herself on being a genius like Arima-san…

“T-That time, I wasn’t… I-I wasn’t anywhere near as good as that boy!”

The girl, face covered in tears, vindictively pointed at me, before collapsing to the floor.

“I can’t take it! One more time!“
”I’m begging you!”
“I’ll do much better next time, Kana promises—!”
”You have to believe me…!”

The filming session ended without a second take.

In the world of film, the director’s opinion rules supreme. And no matter how much a child screams or cries,

it’s never going to change the higher-ups’ visions.

January, 2012
After that, one year of my life peacefully passed without much commotion.
I’m not sure if it was that movie or just a coincidence, but Ai's career started to move forward.
Recently she’s more and more roles as a model and as a guest on TV shows, and B-Komachi’s concerts have been progressively getting bigger and bigger.
Oh yeah, and she's nearly 20 now.

And I know this isn’t important, but…

They still haven’t found my past life's body.

Still - Compared to the hectic life of being a doctor, being a preschooler is pretty fun.
I just get to sit around and read books all day, until a member of staff inevitably comes over and asks us to do a group activity.

This week, we’ve been asked to put on a dance performance for our parents…
But suddenly…

Ruby freaked out and fled the room!

“Ruby-chan?! Come back," I called.

I followed after her as fast as this tiny body could.
...but I couldn’t find her.

For a moment, I stood in the empty playground, only accompanied by the gentle sounds of seagulls and — crying.

I heard Aqua’s voice, but I didn’t respond until I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder.
I jolted.

“Ruby? Why did you run away?”
“Because… I’m a lousy dancer. Well, technically I never managed to dance at all."

Every time I got up, I just fell over.
Over and over again.
Even when I held onto the handrails, sometimes my legs would collapse under me and I'd slip.
If I didn't brace myself to fall, then I'd just get hurt.
Eventually, I got spotted leaving my room to practice, the hospital staff got concerned.
After that, I stopped trying entirely.

“What? Did you just sit home and watch TV all day,” asked my brother, rolling his eyes.
“…Pretty much. I tried a few times, but I couldn’t do it.”

In this world, lies are a weapon.
Right now, he's probably thinking; "Wow, what a lazy slob Ruby was. I'm glad I wasn't like her."
But still, there's no point of telling onii-chan the truth right now.

...Even though one day I want to be an idol who really loves everyone,
a true pure idol like Ai,
right now I'm fine with lying.

“…Are you sure you’re okay with that?”
“What?”
“Are you sure you’re okay with it? Giving up on dancing.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say I’m… NOT not okay with giving up on it...”
“I can't understand triple negatives."
"Sorry, “ I quietly apologised.
"Anyway, Ruby - you have a lot of life ahead of you. You may as well live it the best you can.”

-He says that like he doesn't!

I snuck into Ichigo Productions’ dance rehersal room that night. I fell over many times. Many more than I could count.
But just as I was about to give up…

“Ruby-chan?”

My mom came walking in.

“Didn't I tuck you into bed?”
“…Not tired.”
“Well," Ai sighed, "I guess I’ll just have to join you.”

I stood there awkwardly, waiting for my mother to do something.
“Come on… Show me what you’ve got!”

I limply put my arms out…
and tumbled over.

“E-eh? Ruby-chan,” I called out, dashing to catch her as she fell.
But looked like she already braced herself to fall.

“If you’re scared of falling and tense up your body, you’ll just fall more.”

If you try too hard to act, you’ll just sound more stiff.
It’s better to play it naturally.
At least, that’s what Aqua said.

“Be bolder.
Shoulders back, chest out.
See? You’ve got it!”

Ai adjusted my arms, before letting go.

“Now, 1, 2, 3, 4– Hey, you know the moves already! Have you been watching my performances?”

Of course I did.
I had seen them hundreds of times, after all.
Maybe even thousands.

“Good job, Ruby! You’re doing it!”

That’s right. I can finally move without being scared of falling over.

But still, I wonder why she was so tense…

Afterwards, I convinced Ruby to go back to bed. I think she slept well that night.

Chapter Text

"So, hey...
The kids are getting pretty big.
Want to come meet them?"

On a whim, I got in touch with my ex.

"No, I'm not trying to get back together.
I just thought you might want to see them."

I'd overheard the kids talking.
They were discussing who they thought their father was.

"There was no father. It was obviously immaculate conception,"
said Ruby with an intense expression that was hard to read.

They came to a weird conclusion, so I thought if he came to visit,
it'd clear everything up.

"They're smart kids. They'll understand our situation."
...
"Yeah. Our new address is..."

January 12th, 2012

Work was going great. I'd picked up over a million followers.
The world was watching me.
This was what I've always wanted, right...?

Only...

"Ahahaha! Next month, we finally hit the dome," Ichigo yelled, drunk.
Now that the fame and money's gone to his head, he's finally started to shell out on overpriced sake.

"Wow. The president sure is happy," I remarked, smiling contently.

"Well," interjected Miyako, "we're all happy. It's not often that people get to play at the dome. In fact, it's been his dream for a long time that one of his talents would perform there."

"Is a dome really that amazing..?" Although I kept the smile from a second ago, my eyebrows furrowed and my head tilted.

She's right, though.
It's exclusive.
Only a small handful of talents ever get to go to such a big venue.

I should be happy.
If I pretend to be happy,
then everyone else will be happy too.

"But," the president said, interrupting my train of thought.
"This is a very important time to avoid getting into scandals."
"So whatever you do, don't try to meet the kids' father."

"Of course."

I automatically say whatever will work in a given situation.
Even I don't know what's a lie, and what my real thoughts are.
I've always been bad at understanding my own emotions.
And I've always been bad at loving things, too.

And because of that, I didn't think I'd make a good idol.
But that was before... We met.

April 5, 2004

That day, I finally decided to run away from the children's home I was living in.
I wasn't sure what would happen, but if I stayed there, I knew nothing would change.
Besides, I had a good feeling that whatever happened, it'd turn out fine.
At this rate, it wasn't like things could get much worse.

So, I walked.

I walked and I walked, until I couldn't walk anymore, and I decided to stop in the local mall at a chain restuarant.
With the thousand yen on me, I was able to purchase a cheap drink and a burger.
...Which was when a man approached me.

"What?"

I looked up at the old guy's eyes, which were guarded by a pair of sunglasses.
He was probably about 40.
I looked down. He was holding out a business card.
And on it, it read "Ichigo Productions."

"Are you... scouting me?"

"I'd like you to join my agency, and be an idol under our new group - B-Komachi."

"Me? An idol?"

I was incredulous. I didn't think I had it in me.

"Sorry, but I don't think I can do that."

"Why not?"

"When I was little, my mother got locked up for theft...
but when she got let out, she didn't come back to get me.
I don't remember ever loving anybody or being loved.
There's no way someone like that could be an idol.
When I said I loved my fans and sung those cheesy lyrics,
I'd just be lying."

I thought if I said something extreme like that, I'd scare him off.
But...

"...So what?"

"Huh...?"

"I said, so what if you're lying?
Pretty lies are what the audience wants anyway.
It's a talent to be able to make fiction feel real.
So why not do it? Go ahead, lie your heart out!
It's what idols do."

"Even if I'm lying, it's okay to say
'I love you...?'"

"You've said a lot here,
but I suspect you actually want to love people. You just don't know how yet.
But if you sing and dance and look cute for everyone...
That's a sign of affection in of itself.
When you're an idol, the words 'I love you' will probably come up in your lyrics a lot.
So while you're busy saying you love everybody...
It might turn into the truth."

When I heard those words, I decided to become an idol.
I wanted to love somebody.
I thought if I were an idol, I'd be able to love my fans.
One day, I wanted to say "I love you" and truly mean it.
So I've lied to all sorts of people.

And, I thought if I was a mother, I'd be able to love my kids.
But I still haven't told them 'I love you' even once.

Because, quite frankly, I'm scared to.
What if once I say it, I realise...
That it's just another one of my lies?

And so here I am again,
telling lies and believing they'll turn true.
Even if one day,
they'll catch up to me.

February 12, 2012

Today's a snow day. And my birthday too, at that.
I rolled out of bed, to a silent house.
Usually, I'd hear a distant chatter from one of my kids,
but this this time it was different.
So, I headed to Ruby and Aqua's room to check up on them.

"You two, are you still asl--"

"Happy birthday, mom!"

Bursting out from behind their bedroom door, two party poppers exploded in my face.

"And," Ruby exclaimed, "happy concert day at the dome!"

"....That's sweet," I smiled. "But," I interjected, attempting to change the subject.
"Today's a snow day! Shouldn't you two be out playing?"

"No way," countered Ruby. "Take me with you. I wanna see your show!"

Aqua stood there idling. “I want to come too, if you have tickets. I promise we won’t do anything stupid with glowsticks like last time,” he stoicly pleaded with me.

Truth be told, I hadn't bought concert tickets for my children.
I didn't think they'd want to go.

"Whoops. I'm sorry. I forgot to buy them." I stuck my tongue out and casually put my hand behind my neck.

"WHAAAAT?!"

Ruby and Aqua screamed in unison, eyebrows raised high, before quickly switching to look dejected.

"I'm sorry. I'll buy tickets for you next time,” I apologised, still with a smile on my face.
“But I'll show you the DVDs once they come out! I just didn't think that either of you would be very interested."

I guess that was another lie I told myself.
That my children wouldn't want to go to my concert.
That I wasn't worth their love.

But day by day, since Ruby and Aqua came into my life...
I've been feeling a lot more whole.
So, I opened the door, knowing that today I'd be performing with my children in my heart.

"I'll see you two later."

So that's why, when I saw a man holding a boquet of flowers...

"Huh? Who are you?"

I knew my lies had finally caught up to me.

A cold, hard metalic feeling hit me right in the chest.
It felt just like a dream.
Is this really happening to me..?
Even in the end...
I couldn't distinguish lies from---

"AI----!"

Aqua screamed, running over to my keeling body.
My blood splattered out of my stomach and onto the apartment floor.

"Does it hurt, huh? DOES IT?
Well, I hurt more!
It's nothing compared to when I found out you betrayed your fans by
giving birth and having two kids, you liar!"

Of course I was lying.
After all, that's what you wanted, wasn't it?

"You disrespected your fans.
Every single one of us.
I bet you were laughing behind our backs!"

No... I wasn't.
It's an idol's job to sell dreams.
We're always cute. Pure and genuine.
Our songs are straightforward and our personalities easy to remember.
But I'm not pure.
I'm underhanded and dirty.
Because I don't understand what it's like to love people.
But I'm cute. That's it.
So if I'm going to give people the girl of their dreams,
I have to lie. And so...

"You were all 'love, love, love,'
but it was a damn pack of lies!"

Actually...

"I've always been irresponsible.
As people go, I'm pretty much hopeless.
And I don't really get what it means to 'love' somebody, so...
Instead, I've always told pretty lies that make people happy."

"I worked hard. I did my best.
And I lied with everything I had.
Someday, I hoped those lies would become true.
So I lied with everything I had."

"In my own way...
I thought I was showing my love."

"I don't know if I really managed to love you and my other fans,
but when I sang those love songs, I was thinking that I wanted to."

"Even now, I'm trying to love you.
I said 'I love you' hoping that one day could be true.
I can't tell what's real from what's a lie, so I hoped...
...That eventually it would be real."

"I don't believe that! You probably don't even remember my name!"

"Actually, you're Ryosuke-kun, right...?
You came to a lot of my meet and greets...
I even put the star-shaped sand you gave me on my mantlepiece...
It's still in my living room... I really liked it."

"I-- What in the--
This isn't what was meant to happen at all!"

The man stuttered and screamed, sprinting away.
White petals stained with red scattered in the wind as he disappeared from view.

"Ai, I called an ambulance! Don't move!" Aqua screamed, running up to me.

I fell hard and my body slumped against the apartment dor.

"Boy, did I mess up.
That's what door chains are for, huh.
They didn't teach us that in the children's home."

"I'm sorry this happened, you two...
I really thought you would get to see me live next time...
They're gonna have to cancel the show, aren't they...? I feel bad.
Apologise to Saitou for me, 'kay?"

"Ai, don't talk, you're losing too much blood, your--"

"Aqua... I'm pretty sure the doctors can't fix this. I'm sorry.
Are you okay? Did you get hurt?"

I gently held my son for what will probably be the last time.
He shook his head.

"Hey, w-what's going on?"

I heard a voice on the other side of the door, and then a banging.

"COME ON, TELL ME!!"

Oh. It was Ruby.

"Ruby, please stay away..."
"Your parents' day dance..."
It was really good... I was impressed."
"Later on, you might just become an idol too..."

I could feel my voice start to get strained.

"That would been fun. A mother-and-daughter show, wouldn't it..?"
"Oh, and Aqua, maybe you'll be an actor too..."

My voice started to feel strained.

"Oh, your school backpacks...
I want to see your grade school enterance ceremony...
I want to stay right here with you...
And I want to watch you two grow up..."

"Honestly, I don't think I was a good mom.
But I'm glad I had you."

"What else..."

I paused.

"I almost forgot to say it, didn't I?"

"You two... "
"I love you."

Haha. Looks like I finally said it.
That was... 100% not a lie...

"Ai, AI--"

Aqua's gentle sobs guided me off to sleep.
I don't think... I can hear them anymore.
Actually, I don't think I can hear anything anymore.
But I could still feel the warmpth of his hands in mine.

Or maybe it was just a memory.

"Haha..."
'"I love you...' That feels good to say, doesn't it?"
" I love you, Aqua."
"I love you too, Ruby."
"Bye-bye, now."

And that's how our sweet childhood days with Ai
came to an end, and our own story began.

The sensational news broke only an hour after it happened.
Apparently the culprit killed himself straight after.

By and large, the public response was sympathetic,
but plenty of people made light of her death and used it as a
way to attract attention to themselves.

Me and Ruby were able to transfer to the Saitou family register, so
luckily none of the news focused on us.
There were lots of random guesses and speculation online.
Among them, some of them got pretty close to the truth.

But after three days, they'd said all these was to say about
Ai's death, so they moved onto other topics like
it the public transit being blocked by the snowstorm.
After that, they didn't bring up Ai at all.

It was as if the snow had covered up Ai's death.

But for us, we still had to face the reality.
After Ai passed away, the police blocked Ruby's view
as they escorted her away from the scene.
...But I was right there, felling Ai's body grow colder and colder
until they took me for a brief interview.

Because I was just a kid and the culprit was dead,
the questioning didn't go on for very long,
although the trauma counselling did.
To tell the truth, I just said what was most
convinient so that they'd think I'd got better soon.
So they'd think that they "cured" me.

As if words could make me forget what happened that day.

"Hey, Aqua. Mom said she thought I could become an idol."
Ruby kicked her legs and turned to me as the car bumped us around.
"Do you think I could do that?"

"Would there be any point," I bluntly responded, looking down at my polished black shoes.
We'd just come back from our mother's funeral, after all.

"Would there be any point? If you want to get rich, there are plenty of other jobs that would get you there faster.
Fans are always selfish, and if you even try to get a boyfriend, they'll gang up on you as if it's their moral right."

"Yeah, but," Ruby wondered aloud, staring out the car window.
"Even so, mom sparkled."

Ruby will probably recover eventually.
For better or for worse, she's earnest and genuine.
But me, though...

I think that stalker was the guy that killed me.
...How did he figure out what hospital I was in?
How did he find Ai's brand-new apartment?
He was a student with no special skills.
I doubt he did that detective work by himself.

Someone must've given him that information.
And that someone must've been very close to Ai.
As far as I know, only her manager Saitou knew about the hospital.
But why would he do that to his agency's top talent, especially after he'd taken such good care of her?

A co-worker? Maybe another member of B-Komachi?
No, I don't think B-Komachi was ever that close.
And if Ai had other friends, I never saw them.

I know for a fact that her relatives aren't in the picture, either.
She didn't even seem to know a way to contact them.
So that just leaves...

Our dad.

She never even told her manager who he was, but since she presumably didn't make friends when she was younger,
we can assume he's most likely in show-business.

Our dad, the one who set Ai up, is somewhere in the entertainment industry.
We're blood relatives. I can run DNA tests to find out if we're related.
I can't die yet.
Not until I find that guy...

And kill him myself.

Chapter Text

New Idol Prospects: Chapters 7-9
(Scroll down to begin reading!)

More than ten years have passed since that fateful day.

I don’t want to think about it.
In fact, I don’t even want to think about thinking about it.

All I need to do now is find my father, the only one who could be responsible for leaking the information that lead to my mother's murder.
It's my only purpose.
And the first step to fulfilling that purpose will be entering the entertainment industry.

Which means...

September 23rd, 2021

“You’re enrolling in acting school?!”
Ruby looked up from her jam-covered slice of toast in surprise.

”Yes? What of it,” I nonchalantly replied, eyeing up her tasty snack on the table.

”Well,” Ruby said, taking another bite of her breakfast.
“I thought you didn’t want to act. Like remember that time where you refused to go up onstage at the play in our school!”
”Oh, or the time you tried to get me to be in that film instead of you! Remember?"

”I’m not sure if I want to remember,” I sarcastically remarked, before walking out the door for our last day of middle school before the fall break.

To me, acting is revenge.
Back before Ai died, I didn’t need to get any revenge. I was fine just living out my life as a preschooler, reading books and being pampered all day.
And it's not like there's any long-term career benefits to performing at a trashy middle-school rendition of a Shakespeare play.

Why would I waste my time doing any of those? But now I have the chance to build valuable industry relationships and learn from teachers.
Don't get me wrong. It's not like I'm under the impression that I'm somehow talented - that's besides the point.
If I can read what the directors want of me, and I can lick their boots enough, that's all I need.
And eventually, some of the people in the school could have a connection to my father.

April 1st, 2022 [Monday]

Today will be the first day of high school for me and Ruby - at least, our first day of high school in these lives.

A few years ago, Ruby decided she wanted to go to Youtou High School, an academy renowned across Japan for being filled with famous students from across many fields of expertise.
In fact, Youtou is one of the few schools in the country that even has a performing arts division.
The other main one being… the one I’ve enrolled in, which is coincidentally both a rival of Youtou and only a 10-minute bike ride away.

I could have chosen the same school as Ruby, but if I did that, my plans would inevitably get in her way.
Plus, the course would be less specialised in film and more in general celebrity life.
And I have no interest in surviving in the acting world like Ruby does in the idol world.

But it's no surprise that Ruby passed the admission into such a famous school, despite not being well-known herself.
She has the good looks of our mother, and her dancing (despite starting off a little stiff) has improved miles over the past decade since she started.
In fact, at this point, I'd say Ruby is at the same skill level Ai was at her age - a big compliment for anyone.
It's actually a little scary. I wouldn't be surprised if we’ll have another Ai on our hands in a couple of years. Well, it's in our blood, after all.
But with me, I reckon my acceptance into the school was a total fluke. I wouldn't say I'm very good at acting at all - my childhood performance was just a result of the disconnect between my mental age and my child-sized body.
Either that, or my good grades convinced them to let me in. Honestly, out of the two options, the latter is more likely.

"These uniforms are so cute, aren't they?"
Ruby twirled around in front of the hallway mirror.
"I can't wait to go and meet Hinomoto Kotoko, or the person who wrote that one manga."

"What one manga," I inquired, doing up my long navy-blue tie, and buttoning up my green blazer.

"You know, the one that makes me cry every time I re-read it?"

"That's every manga you've read, Ruby.."

"Hey," Ruby pouted in objection.

”But it is still true,” I pointed out, reaching for the door keys in my pocket.

”Well, actually,” Ruby interrupted, “it’s only because I only tell you about the ones that make me cry, not all the trash ones that I throw away and burn in our fireplace.”
Ruby cheerfully grinned, yet her words betrayed the face she was pulling.

Well, at least Ruby is still acting like herself, as always.
I think she's forgotten about the tragedy that happened so long ago.
It's a little perplexing to me, but I'm happy for her. I think.

"But, Aqua," Ruby whined.
"This ribbon is cute, but it's so hard to put on! Can you pleeease help me tie it up..?"

"You're not a kid anymore. Can't you do it yourself," I protested. “And be quick! We'll be late.”

"Ugh, you're the worst," Ruby complained.
After struggling for a good minute, we finally managed to leave the house.

"That took you a while," I said, with my usual unimpressed expression.

"Well, if being a little late bothers you so much, you didn't have to wait for me," she said as I locked the door.
"Actually, I guess that shows what a kind brother you are," teased Ruby. "Teehee!"

By the time we got to Ruby's school, it was 9:30AM already.

"Aren't we late...?"

"Actually," Ruby interrupted. "My school starts at 9:45. I'm early."
"It's actually yours that starts at 9:30. See ya!"

You've got to be kidding me.
As Ruby cheerfully skipped away into her merry little land of celebrities, I sprinted as fast as I could in the vague direction of the tower known as "The Nakara Academy for Juvenile Film Industry Prodigies."
And that's the shortened name.

After using a little intuition (read: Looking at the tall building) to navigate, I finally found myself at the place that towered over me.
It was actually very imposing, as if it was trying to intimidate me after being late on my first day.
This is a school not just for actors, but simply one with a devoted acting course. Some of the others included costume design, photography, and video editing.
And, alongside me, another person that acting course was...

"Hey. Mind your business."
I was interrupted by a familiarly angry face.
"O-Oh, you're..."

The girl stopped as her deep red eyes widened in surprise.
Because that girl was...

Child acting prodigy Arima Kana.

Our first class at the school was fine. They lectured us about a bunch of basic acting concepts I already knew, but that’s to be expected on the first day.
Although, during the lesson, I couldn't help but notice the girl by the window kept making strange glances at me, before looking down again once I noticed her.
After the lesson finished, I decided to approach her about the weird behaviour.

"Hello," I said bluntly, as I stood next to her desk.
She looked up from her book at me, blushing slighly with a confused expression.

"U-Uh... Hello?"
She closed her book and looked down again, obscuring her eyes in her messy blue hair.
”I’m sorry… for staring at you so much… It’s just that…”
I suppose she's one of those shy bookworm types, isn't she?
“Aren’t you that kid from—-
the movie Arima Kana was in?”

”Huh?" I tilted my head to the side in bewilderment.
"Do people still remember that thing…?"

“Well, I’m a big fan of Kana’s…”

“Then, I guess you’ll be glad to know that I bumped into her earlier… Athough..”
"As soon as she recognised me, she looked surprised, and then she took off running in the other direction!"

”Sounds like Kana...”
The girl mumbled something in a soft voice that I couldn't quite make out.

”Sorry, what?”

”N-Nothing!”
"Anyway, I'm Kurokawa. Akane Kurokawa. I guess we'll be classmates, right..?"

Shortly after saying our goodbyes, I left the classroom and went to the cafeteria.

It's so loud in here.
The incessent chattering of students and the overwhelming smell of food is distracting me from my studies.
So, I decided to sit in the corner. It’s the best bet I can get for a high school, at least.

One of the conversations I could hear involved Arima-san, and another student with well-kept, deep green hair. That person looked old enough to be a third year, and had a face covered in top-of-the-line makeup.
The brash and earnest voice of Arima contrasted perfectly with the calm, yet deviously ego-shattering voice of this other student.

"Hey, I didn't 'fall off!' Just because I'm not a famous child actor anymore doesn't mean-"

"No," they interrupted, offending Kana. "It's because you made the other people mad onset with your incessent whining."
"At least... That's what my dad told me…"

"H-Huh? What do you mean? Who's your dad, anyway?" Kana twirled her hair with her finger, closing her eyes and turning away.

"Well, he knows a guy who knows a guy who once worked with you."

"And who's THAT guy?" Kana stared intently, eyebrows furrowed, as if she were about to break into a sweat.

"...I don't know."

"S-See?! Your claims are totally baseless. And also stupid! So shut up."

"And what if you fell off because as you got older, your acting wasn't exceptional anymore?"
"Let's face it. Even if you're the only kid in the world who can cry, once you get older, the people around you will learn that trick too."

"I---- W-What are you saying?! You should be ashamed of yourself! Ugh!"

Kana ran off, presumably out of embarrasment or rage, or perhaps a mix of both.
Her points were countered flawlessly by that student, yet in such a nonchalant way that it's frustrating.
Although, whatever that student was saying makes sense.
In fact, I think it even applies to me of all people.

When I was younger, I knew too much for a kid of my age. And that made me creepy.
But now I'm older, that same skill doesn't exist anymore. I'm just a nobody.
Perhaps me and Arima-san are more alike than I first thought.

This month, I sent off a form to join a new idol group! I'd passed the application and the interview, so now I'm just waiting for a response later today!

"Honestly, I think I've got a shot at this," I exclaimed, leaning back in my classroom chair. “The application results come in today. I’ve been waiting years to apply, but now I’m finally old enough to join an idol group!”

My classmates stared back.

"Yep," they said in unison. "You'll get in for sure, Ruby!"

The girl with short dark hair smiled. "You're super cute, plus you're a good dancer! Even though your voice is a bit, uh…"

"A bit what," I retorted.

"Your personality and charm far outshine that little flaw!"

"Flaw?"

Sigh. And that’s why today SUCKED. Most of the other people are already famous, and I'm a total nobody!
Like, earlier... This happened!

"OMG, is that you, Hinomoto-san?"

"Yes, hello, it is me! Nice to meet you!"
"And who are you again?"

UUUGH! I hate this school! So, when I got back home...

"Uhh... You're quitting?"
Aqua raised his eyebrow.

I decided to tell Aqua exactly how I felt.

"THEY'RE MEAAAAAAAAAAAAN, ONII-CHAN!!! WAAAH! TAKE ME BACK TO MIDDLE SCHOOL!"

"..." Aqua looked away.

Ever since mom died, Aqua’s been a little absent.
I mean, he's always been a bit of a tsundere, but now, it's always seems like he's distracted by something.
Maybe has some kind of grand egotistical scheme on his mind.
Isn't he too dumb to do one of those things anyway?
I guess he’s just hormonal.
Even though he was like this since we were 5…

"Isn't that how every school is? Do you seriously expect to go to school and for everyone to love you immediately," Aqua said with his trademark deadpan expression.

"I didn't expect everyone to love me immediately."
That was obvious already.
"I just expected them to come up to me and say, 'wow, you’re the best person I’ve ever seen.'"

And more than anything, there was a little hope hidden in my heart saying...
I wanted them to say I looked like mom.

"So, how was your school day," I offered, jumping onto my bed.

"Well..." Aqua sighed.
"Someone recognised me."

"What."

"What?"

"NOBODY RECOGNISED ME, ONII-CHAN!!!! THIS ENTERTAINMENT WORLD IS WAY TOO HARSH!!!"
For me, being recognised would be great, but to him, he would hate it.
What's up with this cruel fate? Can't we trade places?
"I was freaked out the entire day," I frankly added.
"I was waiting for someone to say 'ooooh you have nice hair,' or 'ooooh you have a nice singing voice,' but they insulted me instead."

"If you manage to get into that idol group, then people will start to recognise you eventually."
"Don't be selfish and expect it to happen all immediately," Aqua remarked like it was nothing.

I'm a girl who spent most of her past life in the hospital.
Is it really so selfish for me to want to be loved?

April 2nd, 2022 [Tuesday]

Aqua wasn't the only one who changed after mom died.
After the incident, Ichigo Saitou, the president of Ichigo Productions, disappeared off the face of the Earth.
Miyako had to take the company over for him.

And, two years after their star Ai died, they split up.
Now, Ichigo Productions doesn't have an idol group at all.
The company has mostly branched out into managing online talents nowadays.

Oh, and speaking of idol groups..
I didn't pass the audition.
For now, I'm betting my futures on another application being accepted to another random group...
But how could I be sure it wouldn't just turn out the same the next time..?

"Ruby."

"What?"
I heard Aqua call out my name from right behind me.

"I have some news for you..."
"Ichigo Productions is reforming B-Komachi, and we need you. Do you accept?"

"W-What?!"

Chapter Text

“B-Komachi is…reforming?"
”And you want... me?”

Ruby's neon pink eyes lit up with hope.
Her previously flat-looking mouth quickly warped into an upturned one.
Because Hoshino Ruby couldn't believe what she was hearing.

I, Hoshino Aqua, smiled back out of instinct - before catching myself and quickly switching back to my usual stoic face.

I’ve lectured Ruby enough about the dangers of the idol world. But she’s old enough now to make her own decisions.
I think it’s time that I finally helped her chase her dreams of becoming an idol.
After all, to not do that would be an awful waste of talent.

"Well, it’s not reforming with any of the old members,” I explained calmly, as Ruby’s face dropped.
”We’re just making a new group with the old name, because it’ll sell better that way."

The girl frowned. ”You’re selling mom’s name for a quick buck...?”

”Kind of," I replied nonchalantly.
"But you say that like it’s disrespecting her. It’s not.”

I began to pace around the living room, as Ruby scowled.
She looked down at the floor as she spat, ”at the ripe age of 15, somehow you’ve become a money-hungry adult already…”

”Hm?"

I raised an eyebrow in curiosity.
"Isn’t it an honor for a decade-ago-disbanded group to still have their name used today? It's a testamont to Ai's talent, is it not?”

That smug voice.

”Right, Ai’s talent. More like her brand recognition,” grumbled Ruby, using a fancy word I wouldn’t expect her to know.

"Plus,” I added candidly, “you'll have the rights to use their back-catalog of songs right off the bat."
"Once this group gets enough members, you can start performing immediately, without having to wait for new songs to be finished."

That overconfident attitu—

”Yep,” Miyako nodded along, sighing, and turning to her computer.

"Eek! Miyako-san, you were here all along?!” Ruby exclaimed, letting out a girlish scream.

“Well, I didn’t want to interrupt your lovely sibling conversation,” she sarcastically added, all while still typing at her desk.
“We’ve been wanting to go back into the idol business for a while, actually. But… we were too scared another incident like Ai’s would go down."

After saying that line, Miyako froze in place, silently ceasing her typing.

With an unexplainable expression, she sat there for a moment, looking dead-eyed at her monitor.
But suddenly, her face perked up, and grabbing a whiteboard from next to her keyboard...

She stood up with a serious but determined look in her eyes.
"So, we’ve imposed a few new rules.”

My sister gulped, looking anxiously over at me, as I laid back relaxed on the family couch.

”Number one,” Miyako declared, gesturing to her whiteboard and writing a massive 1 on it. “No dating.”
”Number two, - don’t give your address to anyone outside of school.”
”And finally, three,” she said, sadly sighing - “we’ll keep our doors locked with chains.”
“Got it?” Miyako gave Ruby a side-eye, as my sister joined me on the sofa, pouting.

These were the terms I and Miyako had discussed the prior day.

On the off-chance chance that Ruby didn't get her application accepted, we decided it would be good to start a new one.
At least that way, she won't be getting exploited by some black company.

But it took us a while.

A damn long while.
In fact, it's been over 10 years since the original B-Komachi disbanded.
We were scared someone would get hurt.
So scared, in fact, that Ichigo Productions hasn't dared start another idol group for that whole time.

But, for Ruby's sake, I managed to convince Miyako.

Just this time, we'll be keeping a closer eye.
We'll be more careful.
We'll set up more rules and be diligent.
Because I won't let anything bad happen to this family, ever again.

Meanwhile, the starry-eyed girl in question looked off into the distance.

”Are you there,” I interrogated her, waving my hand in front of her face. “What’s wrong?”

”Well, nothing’s wrong, but…”
She paused, reaching her hand upward and leaning back in her chair.
“I don’t want to disgrace mom’s name.”

It's not surprising Ruby would feel that way.
She still looks up to Ai a lot,
and especially if she’s performing with the title of "B-Komachi," the girl might feel like all the pressure has been passed onto her.

”Come on," I pleaded, putting my hand on my sister's shoulder. “You honestly don’t need to worry.”
"I wouldn’t have asked you to join an idol group if I wasn’t confident in your abilities.”

“Really?" Ruby squealed.
"Thank you for believing in me, onii-chan," she said, running up to me and wrapping her hands around my chest.

That previously solemn expression of the girl disappeared in a flash, being replaced by a smile as radiant as the sun.

I wriggled.
”Listen. I need to find new members."
Ruby let go.
"I promised Miyako I need to find 2 other suitable candidates within the next week, or else this won’t be happening."

Ruby screamed.
"Eh? Week?!"

"It's fine. If I didn't know what I was doing, I wouldn't have suggested it."
"We're in high schools filled with famous people. I already have a few people in mind.”

“Like who?”
Ruby stared at me with curiosity.

"Well..."

April 3rd, 2022 [Wednesday]

The child prodigy who "fell off" in middle school after burning all her bridges as a kid.
The actor with the spark of an idol, and the brash attitude of a delinquent.
This modern day Arima Kana is happy to even get a simple ‘good job’ from someone.
...At least, that's the vibe I got.

"Hey, Kana," I called out casually, catching up to her just as she was making her way out of the school gardens.
She stopped and spun around, her eyes widening in wonder.
For a brief moment, she stared at me as if I'd done something amazing.

But I hadn’t.
So, the only words that left her lips were…

"....Aqua-kun? What are you doing here?"

That in-awe expression didn't last for much longer, as she swapped to a more reserved and calm appearance.

"Hoshino Aqua, it’s good to see you again,” Kana smiled.
"I'm sorry for running away from you yesterday. I was just... a little freaked out."

"It's fine. I wasn't expecting to see you here either."
Kana looked relieved.
"What are you doing these days in terms of acting?"

"Well, right now, I'm playing the heroine in a TV drama, but..."
"In the final episode, a villain is supposed to show up. And the guy dropped out last minute!"

“That's showbusiness for you,” I replied stoicly.
”But don’t be too harsh on this guy. Sometimes things come up and—“

”I know that,” Kana yelled, completely interrupting me.
”It’s just, what I was trying to say was…”
"What do you think about taking the role?"

That was out of the blue.
I have to be picky about the jobs I take.
If I just take any old roles, I'll end up wasting my time building my status as a celebrity.
That's not what I'm here for.
I don’t care about being famous.
I have no investment in this world like Ruby does.

But if the director is someone who might have connections to my father, then...

In a desperate attempt to gather some information on if this is worth doing, I have to ask...

"Who's the director?"

"Oh, it’s Kaburagi-san. He’s not doing very well at this, though. The production is soulless and the casting is weird. Why do you ask?" Kana raised an eyebrow in confused.

"Do you perhaps mean, Masaya Kaburagi-san?"

"Eh?! He has fans?!" Kana's eyebrows raised in surprise, making the wrong - but admittedly most logical - assumption about my knowledge.

"...That's not what I mean. It's just..."

Masaya Kaburagi.
He was in the list of Ai's contacts on her work phone.

Throughout middle school, I spent hours trying to hack it.
Every day, I'd try three passcodes, until its day-long timer would start again.
Then, I'd wait until the next day, and increment the number a couple of times,
until it inevitably locked again.

After 7 years of trying every day without fail... I finally cracked it.

85510.
The initials of each member of B-Komachi if you type them out on an old cellphone.
In retrospective, I really should have tried social engineering instead of failing eighty-five thousand times.

And on the phone's list of contacts was..."Masaya Kaburagi."
Ai was involved with this man somehow.
And if I can get any closer to him, even if just to check him off the list…
That’s one step closer to my ultimate goal.

"...Oh, it doesn't matter," I said, brushing it aside.

"So do you accept the offer?" Kana smiled confidently, stepping closer to me.
"If I'm going this alone, then... the show will totally suck."

"It will?!"

"Don't you know the kinds of things this director pumps out?!
All he does is slaps on some pretty faces and hopes it'll sell well.
I don't think he even cares about Sweet Today."

"You want me in an adaptation of Sweet Today?"

"I'll Have It Sweet Today, Please."
It's actually somewhat of a modern manga classic. Ruby has it in her room.
And by what Kana's saying... It's being completely butchered.

"It'd be an honor," I said, smiling.

"But honestly, Aqua... I just don't want this show to flop."
"I don't want to see the original mangaka watch the final episode and cry."

Kana took yet another step closer to me.

"Not cry out of the story being good, but cry out of her work being ruined.
Please, Aqua. Save this show from mediocrity with me."

It was already decided from the time I heard the director’s name, so…
”I accept.”

And with that, Kana let out a celebratory scream, punching her first in the air and doing a little twirl.
"I can't believe it! We'll finally get to work together again!
When I was little, I was jealous of your acting skills, so maybe now I'll have a formidable opponent."

So that's why she wants to work with me... To have a rival.

"Why did you call me anyway? To say hi?" Kana asked, bending over and peering up at me from underneath her deep red bangs.
Kana smiled. "That's soooo sweet of you, Aqua-kun!"

"No, actually," I said frankly. Kana frowned in response.
"I was about to ask you a very similar question, Kana."

"H-Huh? Don't tell me you've already applied for the show," Kana panicked, blushing, and fiddling with her jacket.

"No, I mean for an idol group. I'm asking that you join."

"Eh?" Kana blushed, having responded only very quietly out of shock.

"We're trying to reform B-Komachi, and your recognition and..."
I struggled a little to say it, but eventually the words came out of my mouth.
"Your..... talent, too..."

"Eh, sorry, B-Komachi? What's that?" Kana immediately snapped back to her regularly smug tone of voice.

Ouch. I feel old.
...Well, I guess they're a decade old. They're not so relevant anymore.
Still, that's a bit of a stab to the chest. That Ai's been forgotten.

"Listen, I'm busy with acting work nowadays," Kana said, spinning around.
"The Sweet Today drama isn't going to do well by itself. Plus, I've got a play coming up."
"If you want me to join your idol group, I'll need a good reason."

I'll try my best, Arima-san.

“Who’s this,” Ruby wondered aloud, placing her index finger on her chin as she looked up at her living room celining.
”Oh, I know! It’s the genius child actor with cryogenics!”

”….....Aqua, how is your annoying child sister an incentive to join your group,” I asked, looking at his totally unreadable teal eyes.

"We're the same age," screamed the girl, before tiptoing over to her brother and whispering something into his ear.

”What did you say,” Aqua asked, unable to hear either.

"I said, she's mean." Ruby pouted.

"You're more mean, trying to talk behind my back, you little backstabber!"

"Nuh-uh," interjected Ruby, puffing out her cheeks. "You're more mean than that, Kana."

"Oh yeah? Well--"

This argument is stupid.
I knew it was going to be stupid even when I first accepted to going round to Aqua's house.
If I accept this position in B-Komachi, I'll just end up being given more "idol" jobs than acting jobs.
And if that happens, and I end up falling out of the idol world...
Then I'll lose in both.
I’ll rot at the bottom of the entertainment industry for good.

"Hey, Aqua. Why exactly did you invite this girl over here?"

"Oh. Arima-san is a candidate for the new B-Komachi."

"Say whaaaaat?!" Ruby screamed.

But that Hoshino Ruby...
There's something special about her, isn't there?
Even though she acts like an infant, she kind of reminds me of that genius idol...

I only worked with her once, but she was the real deal.
She deserved that popularity fair and square.
And my show-business intuition is telling me that "Ruby" has potential.

Still! "Ichigo Productions" isn't a big name at all.
They don't have a very good track record when it comes to idols - they only had one successful group.
It's a bit of a risk to sign on with them, and most of all...

I don't think I'm cute enough to make it in this industry.
I'm also not dumb enough to make reckless bets on joining it.
I'd rather stay as an actor, where I can---

"Please, Arima Kana."
"Be an idol with my sister."

"But... I'm not that cute," I said in a soft tone, staring down away from Aqua's eyes.

"Actually, you are," Aqua replied. Ruby nodded with an embarrassed expression on her face.
"I'm not saying this on a whim, either. I genuinely think you're prettier than most professional idols."
"You're also someone I can trust not to mess my sister around."

But... I'm not...

"Seriously, Aqua! Cut it out!"

I'm not an idol type.

"I'm not talented at all."

I'm just a hack who survived on a gimmick for a few years.

"After I got older, everyone realised I wasn't up to snuff..."

"Please, Arima Kana," Aqua pleaded.

"I already said I won't!"

"In fact, I think you could be the center..."

"No way!!"

"I'm asking you because I believe in you.."

...Aqua-kun believes in me?
Is he saying this for real, or is he just trying to trick me?
Either way...
Is there any reason to doubt him?

"Well, then. Looks like I have no choice but to accept your offer, Aqua-kun~."

That previously solemn expression of the girl disappeared in a flash, being replaced by a smile as radiant as the sun.