Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

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Time seemed endless for Pure Vanilla as he waited for Shadow Milk. If there was anything he longed for the most, it was to meet him once again. Yet several months went by back in Crispia, and any signs of the jester showing up were non-existing.

He did remember how they made their last departure... It wasn't exactly ideal for him or the jester. All Pure Vanilla longed for was to see Shadow Milk again. That was it.

Ever since Pure Vanilla returned to Crispia, it's all he wanted. He couldn't quite put his finger on why he wished to see Shadow Milk again so badly though. Yes, he wanted to be his friend, but it was a strangely strong sensation. Yet he brushed it off...

It was the morning and Pure Vanilla was getting ready, adjusting the sleeves of his outfit and making any other additional touches. He then started to brush his hair... He used to struggle with managing his long hair, but he's grown be accustomed to it. He honestly liked how it looked too.

As he was continuing to adjust his hair, his mind wandered. It was distracting him slightly; thinking of Shadow Milk... He often asked himself what he was doing and if he was okay. And this was another one of those moments.

Pure Vanilla sighed, hearing something by his window. Curiously, he stepped towards it and looked around before noticing... An injured Cookie on the ground outside. In a hastened pace, he left his room and went out to help them.

The color palette of this Cookie reminded him of Shadow Milk, but he brushed it off, having better things to think of- Like helping them. "Don't move," Pure Vanilla said gently, "let me help you.."

"Thank you," the anonymous Cookie said, expressing their gratitude in a gentle manner. The healer, after fixing up the unnamed figure next to him, looked up at them.

Suddenly, right before Pure Vanilla's eyes, the figure turned into someone recognized with certainy. Shadow Milk... Of course. "I see we meet again, 'Nilly!" The jester said in a silly manner. "I knew you'd fall for such an obvious trap," his expression darkened.

Pure Vanilla didn't seem to be very alarmed; in fact, he kept his composure, other than the fact he seemed surprised. "Shadow Milk? What are you doing?" He asked.

Shadow Milk seemed annoyed. "Boring! What a drag! I was expecting you to fear for your life... Well, I've come back to torture you once more! I will take back what should've been mine all along!" He said with a wide, unsettling smile.

"...Shadow Milk," the other gestured, "you don't scare me anymore." He admitted. "Not that I now know what driven your urge to see my soul touched by deceit."

"Oh, great. This mumbo-jumbo yet again?" The jester rolled his eyes. "Quit acting like you know me. I am anything BUT lonely! I don't need ANYONE! Let alone you, whom I hate the most!"

Pure Vanilla still seemed unfazed. Shadow Milk's efforts to push him away were beyond futile. When that reality set in, he snapped to push him away further. "Do you think I'll actually.."

The healer couldn't even finish his words, being cut off- "Shut it you stupid PEST! I can guarantee I am anything but that weak image you mistake me for! I hate you! I despise you! You took away everything from me!!" The jester yelled.

And yet, Pure Vanilla's ambition was unwavering. He was determined to make sure Shadow Milk wouldn't have to feel the burden he did anymore. He knew the jester's words were anything but the truth.

"Shadow Milk," Pure Vanilla began, "showing vulnerability doesn't make you weak. If anything, it's a sign a strength. It takes a great amount of courage to be like that with anyone; to trust someone deeply to show them when you're at a low point." He spoke gently yet firmly.

"And you're right- I don't completely know you like you know yourself. But I know more than anything, I'm the only one who can understand you. Because it's something anyone can plainly see; we're like two sides of the same coin; interconnected, and bound. I don't wish to see you deal with the burden of your solitude and loneliness by yourself. So please, allow me to help you carry it, and maybe even lift it from your shoulders. I truly wish to be your friend."

His words left Shadow Milk stunned, trying to conduct a proper response. But hearing Pure Vanilla's words, he scoffed. "Excuse you, you filthy little traitor! Thinking you have any right to even remotely CONSIDER being my friend!? You bastard.. I WILL DESTORY-!"

The words that spilled from the jester's lips were cut off, feeling Pure Vanilla suddenly embrace him. He froze in confusion, trying to process the moment. Shadow Milk didn't hear the other say anything, he was just silently embracing him.

Shadow Milk pushed Pure Vanilla away. "What the HELL are you doing?! Get AWAY FROM ME! Thinking your stupid friendship request will get me to open up?! I have NOTHING TO EVEN SHARE!!" His voice dripped with venom as he insisted so.

"If that's so," Pure Vanilla muttered, "then why are you so defensive when I insist you do? You just snap without thinking rationally... And it's plain to see that clearly making such a point strikes a nerve. I understand you cannot fully trust me, but I believe it's not the best course of action to push me away like this."

"I get it... I made you think you won back in your spire. Making you think my soul had truly been tampered with deceit. Which it had been for a moment, but it didn't last, of course. I wish for you to understand why I had done such a thing though." He said.

Pure Vanilla's words were like plunging a dagger into Shadow Milk's chest. He found himself running out of things to say, the other's words slowly taking down his rough and hard walls. "I- I- I WON'T EVER! I don't care why! You're a filthy BACKSTABBER!"

The jester stepped back defensively. And yet, the healer stepped forward. Shadow Milk seemed alarmed, feeling himself growing cornered. "Please.. I can see through your act, Shadow Milk. There's no need to keep up your defenses."

Pure Vanilla hugged Shadow Milk again. And this time- It actually lasted. Shadow Milk didn't push him away... Pure Vanilla gently kept him close. "It's okay... I won't let you be alone anymore."

With a frustrated sigh, Shadow Milk reluctantly returned the hug. "I really hate you. I hate you so... so much." He said.

The healer didn't take his words seriously. "Definitely... You totally do," he said, running his hands down and up the jester's back slowly and comfortingly.

"You're not just doing this to mess with me right?" Shadow Milk asked, seeming defensive still.

Pure Vanilla nodded with absolute certainy. "Absolutely. I wouldn't ever do that to anyone," he responded.

Hearing his words, Shadow Milk buried his face in Pure Vanilla's shoulder. It seems he wasn't struggling anymore.. He was still uncomfortable a little, but he wasn't so hostile now.

Not anymore.

Pure Vanilla smiled gently with contentment in his expression. He spoke softly, "Thank you for allowing me to be your friend..."