Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

          All the fairies felt delighted as the announcement of the new Queen arrived. Queen Clarion, the one that saved them from the Nightmares, now promising a new era of union between the warm seasons and Winter. Everyone rejoiced by seeing her stand tall upon the multitude, but a part of her did not share the same sentiment. The Warden of the Winter Woods, Milori, and the queen of Pixie Hollow, Clarion, fell in love. From the first moment they saw each other on that afternoon it was like they were meant for each other.

          She would do anything for him and vice versa. Milori broke his wing while saving Clarion’s life from dying out in the cold. This event made her realize something, if they continued to be together, she would always take him first into consideration while ruling over Pixie Hollow. In the worst-case scenario, she would let anyone suffer if that meant seeing her lord live another day. That was insanity, as rulers their subjects always must come first. She wanted to be a great ruler, just like Elvina and the other queens that came before. These many responsibilities slowly drained her sense of self. She was no longer Clarion, just a machinery controlling every single digit in this kingdom. Could not deny her anxiety about failing, but that must remain a secret.

          The queen sat above on the trees, hidden between leaves, seeing Milori looking for her at the other side of the bridge. Like her, he was hidden all the way back from the crowd. Expectant to see if Clarion would get closer to the border and have a glimpse of her at least one last time. She did not want to see him again. Not due to lack of love, more like the overflow of it in her system. Every time she saw him, her heart stopped for a fraction of a second. She wanted to jump into his arms and never let go. Water him in praises and kisses. Maybe even marrying him if there was any luck... or have his kids—— ...And there it was, her hyperactive mind taking over.

          It was common for fairies to form families at one point in their lives. The difference between governing-talent fairies—who were born from a star that a kid wished upon— was that all other types of fairies could be born from the love of two. The one who took the role as her ‘mom’ was her predecessor, also fallen from a star. Even if she did not have a bond of mother and daughter, she would like to have one her own. It was not really studied by anyone how reproduction and genes worked. The magical talent of this newborn most of the time depended on the ‘dominant gene’ which was a total mystery until it was born. From what Clarion knows, the result of the union of a governing-talent and any other type of talent fairy was a complete enigma. Was doubtful that governing magic could be hereditary, so that heated up the question of how her hypothetical children with Milori would look like.

          Lost in her thoughts, she stayed there the whole festivity until her subjects started to leave. The moment she got distracted for a bit too long looking at the civilians, she noticed that Milori was looking back at her. Everything hush, as a breeze from winter rub her features. Longing and craving were reflected on his eyes. It was like time stopped at that precious moment saying that everything would be fine. She wanted to cry, his pain transferring to her soul. Milori wanted her as much as her.

          Slowly, while everyone was packing up to go away, she fluttered down from the tree. The pull that Milori emanated drowned her in agony. She was just like a moth going to a bulb, something dangerous, impossible but intoxicating.  The desire to get close, even for one last time, was a need. When reaching the floor, she stood at the front of the bridge that connected the two realms. Clarion took a deep breath while walking closer. Self-doubt washed over her, this was wrong, and before she could turn back, Clarion was already facing Milori. He had hope on his gaze, he believed that she was about to confess something. His glow was about to shatter and Clarion knew it; it made her feel monstrous for playing with his feelings like this. They watched each other in awe for a few seconds.

— “Congratulations, your Highness” — he broke the ice in a soft tone

— “Thank you, Lord of Winter”— Clarion murmured back not meeting his gaze lingering on her.

          What’s up with these formalities, that was it? Their short, but passionate love story just resumed into an anti-climactic end. There was so much to say, to experience with him by her side, but so little time left. Silence embraced them again, its like they had no mouth and wanted to scream.

— “Is there a way that I can change your opinion about us?” —a plea emerged from Milori — “I’m not sure if I can forget about this... Who I lie to? I will not forget”

          He gave an empty chuckle to hide his pain. Clarion noticed how hurt he was by how his eyes water; unable to look back at her. She was shocked by the raw feeling he showed and could not contain her sadness either. Clarion jumped into his arms to receive a tight embrace. Pressing her face against his shoulder to hide from his vision.

— “I’m so sorry Milori, but we can’t be together even if we want to. It’s too dangerous!” — she blurted while choking on her own tears.

— “Why not, we haven’t tried yet! We were fine by taking the necessary precautions, we can continue” — Milori objected while holding her tightly against him.

— “Do we really have to try? Your wing is broken and its my fault. Who knows what could happen on the future” — now Clarion was shouting— “Precautions aren’t enough, anything can happen at any moment”

— Milori took a deep breath and whispered to her — “Clarion, I would always do anything to protect you, even if I’m by your side or not. I do not care about my wings if that means I can see you by my side another day. Anything can happen any moment, even if we are together or no. It's better to use that time we have by doing what we want deep in our hearts. Please, don’t do this to me. Let’s at least try, please!” — at this point he was pleading at the border of collapse. He had what you would call ‘crazy eyes’.

          Clarion started to consider his desires, maybe there was a chance that everything would go as they’ll like to. She felt hope, that everything would be alright if they had each other. But her little smile vanished after watching his broken wing again.

— After a long silence Clarion responded — “I’m sorry Milori, but it’s a no... I shouldn’t be here on the first place” — she slowly pushed back from him and walk away. Milori’s expression was full of anger, sadness and deception.

— “As you wish, your Highness...” — resentfulness palpable from his tone. he stood there in complete defeat. Milori wanted to just be able to grab her and show that they are meant to be.

          She needed to understand that, but forcing anything would back her away rather than help him. After a while he called Noctua—— flew away with a blue face. This day was a disaster, didn’t go as he hoped.

          Clarion did not look back. Once she was high enough on the afternoon sky, tears fell on her rosy cheeks. This day a total disaster. She genuinely considered to leave everything behind for a second and just stay with him; but that would be egoistical. She cannot just leave her subjects to follow a silly romance without counting the consequences. Why could not she be born like the other fairies and live a simple life. Why she had to sacrifice herself for others and her subjects could be individualistic.

          When the moon started to rise on the horizon, she entered her chambers through the balcony. Felt like hiding herself away from the world and cry until it was unbearable. A sigh pass between her lips as she took out the comb from her hair. Her eyes puffy due to her crying. Shook her head from side to side not caring to detangle it. as she stared from her windows the mountains located on Winter. She walked towards her balcony questioning if this was the right decision for them at long term. Maybe she was wrong and had time to fix it up. But by looking down at her subjects she realized that the most secure way to maintain them save was from locking her feelings away——and that’s what she did.

          Six months passed. For the world, just a mere blink, but for her—— even though her life was far much longer than the average fairy——felt like an eternity. Every waking moment she had was about missing Milori and craving his touch. She remains strong to a no contact phase, only seeing each other on official reunions. Her past version hoped that by this point she would feel like herself again but the pain only got worse the more time it passed.

          Over the past months Clarion has been obsessed with work just to not think about Milori. If she was abandoned on her thoughts, it was likely she would end up crying on her bed all day. Read a book that Petra gave her has been her latest obsession to pass the time. Was a short romance novel, an ‘enemies to lovers’ of sorts. Nothing too original, if she had to do a summary about it, it would go like this: “A girl in exchange of keeping her town safe gets locked up by an evil king, a beast. At first, she fears him but starts to develop a sweet spot that blooms into love. When the town tries to save her from the beast she no longer wants to run away, wants to stay. Due to no one understanding their love they run away to no longer be found.”

          This book was Clarion’s guilty pleasure by visualizing herself as the girl and Milori as the beast. This little fantasy made her cope with the reality of his absence. She dreamed that he would capture her and take her far away, somewhere where she would not need to be a queen——just herself. It was hard for that to happen due to the time that has passed, probably Milori already forgot about her. Maybe he took a winter-fairy and made her his wife——no, there has been too little time for that. Her mind was starting to catastrophize things once again as the sadness started to take over her heart.

          Trying to calm down she looked around her room. It was better for her to just go to sleep, tomorrow is a new day. As she got up from her bed a ‘woosh’  buzz her ears, like someone accompanied her. She took a peak to the outside in her balcony but no one was there. Preferring to ignore thinking it was just her mind tricking her she turned the light off and lay down on her bed.

          Every day before going to sleep she would close her eyes imagining how it would be if the two of them were together. The fantasy version she had of Milori was as real as the original. Someday she would stop putting her subjects before her and he would be her saviour just like in the book. Their happily ever after recognized by the kingdom... oh, what a girl can dream in times of need. But how can she ignore it when it was the only thing keeping her on reality. She wanted to stop and just let it go, but she could not. It brought her happiness, hope and a friend to be with even if it was on her mind.

          From the outside this is just sad, for her it was paradise, a safe place. At this point she must be late to fix anything with Milori so it was better to hold into the sweet memories and pray that she can move on eventually. She made a mistake so most of the time she dreamed about dates, marriage, form a family, rule Pixie Hollow together or something as simple as sharing a bed. With that last thought the fantasies started to distort into something more carnal as her hand slipped down to her core. Him on their matrimonial bed holding her tightly, kissing her, and patting her hair. How his hands would feel touching her, his pressing weight on top of her. Their breaths combined in a dance as passion takes over their rational brain.

          Her nipples started to peek through the clothing in a tingly sensation. As she rubs them in gentle circular motions, she closes her eyes imagining him. Does he had ‘rub’ himself while thinking about her? She would like to witness that act or maybe even help him. Watching his chest expand and contract in anticipation; his cock throb against her hand, his balls clenching tightly while reaching orgasm. Liking things of this nature was embarrassing due to not having any real experience. The chance of having a deeper intercourse had never appeared, so all her desires came from the books she read in her free time. The closest she had got happened while she was kissing Milori. His cock was hard against her, but she had to go, the cold was consuming her.

          In her fantasies, Milori would enter her room as she sleeps and push his hand between her thighs. Would rub her clit while holding her, unable to break free. Her pussy wet as his fingers start to push deeper in her entrance preparing her to receive his girth. Her moans shut with his kisses as he tortured her sweet spot over and over. She would beg him to fuck her raw with all his force and he would deny her pleas. Before she could escape, she already would be shaking as her orgasm crashes like a tidal wave. He would leave her there like a winy mess begging for more.

          Her fantasy started to come to life as her fingers were frantically pushing in and out from her imagining that was his hand.  Her moans muffled against her pillow with quick gasps of air, her mind not making coherence anymore until she came. Her pussy clenched around her fingers begging for his member to go inside her. But he was not there since long ago and probably would never see him again. After pushing her wet fingers out, all her muscles felt heavy, and the pulse of her heart slowed. Everything around her vanished, just leaving the soft sheets wrapping her up.

          Now she misses him even more. Would love to not need to use her imagination and just have him by her side, but her past self was stupid. She rejected him even if the destiny gave her hundreds of opportunities to accept him. Now she cried as the consequences washed over her. Her eyelids felt heavy as her mind drifted to dreamland. In a last peak of her room, she distinguished a shadow on her balcony, the form of a man. But at this point her mind was delirious so it must be simply a dream...

          A new day has begun so once again the routine must start. Taking a bath, brushing her hair, doing her makeup, put on clothes and wait for Artemis to come to give her the news of the day. Probably would be the same as always, boring reunions. Sometimes with her subjects, other times the ministers, but it was for the same thing: questions and complaints. More than a queen, she was a counsellor for everyone and in the end of the day she was exhausted. After a long time reflecting for what this day has prepared for her, she heard a knock on her door.

— “Come in” — Clarion responded

— “Good morning your Highness. I have important news to share to you” — Artemis stated. Clarion noticed her a little alarmed. — “Comes from Winter, Lord Milori sended you this letter” — Artemis handed out the letter to the Queen.

          Clarion’s heartbeat dropped by hearing the name Milori. Last night she was pleading to see him but did not expect to actually happen. Across these months they have seen each other in reunions with the other ministers. Never interacting in another way that was not official manners. Her heart always dropped when she had to face him. He did not miss her at all, he was happy. In front of her he would joke with the other ministers like if they were his best friends. On the other side of the table, she would be shaking with grief. “I want you” is what she wanted to say, but the words simply did not come out.

Her enthusiasm sky rocketed thinking that he wants to communicate with her. Still, her feet must remain on earth. Could be simply something as mundane as letting her know everything was in order. She grabbed the letter and read its contents.

Dear Queen Clarion,

          "Here in Winter, we have been attacked by an unknown creature. Around fifteen fairies are in critical condition. Houses and trees have been broken to shreds. I tried my best to find the creature, but I was attacked. It was too fast, I couldn’t see anything. I’m fearing that the ‘thing’ could cross the border of Autumn or Spring at any moment. Please watch over the borders and if its not too much to ask I would really appreciate your assistance here. I don’t have much time to write this so I could share more details in person. I cannot search for you, but I will send a scout in the afternoon to look after you."

Yours always,

Milori

 

          A new monster has emerged after she believed it was over. How naive of her to think that moments of peace would be permanent. Still, she wondered why the attacks have been occurring one after the other non-stop since her coronation became official. Panic started consuming her over, Milori had been hurt again. It was impossible to know how bad the situation was but must be horrible if he cannot share too many details on the time he has. Did his wings completely shatter? What if he lost an arm? Maybe lost a leg? Before she knew it, she had become as paranoid as Petra.

— “Your Highness, is everything alright?” — Artemis had a worried expression and got closer to Clarion

—“There has been a new attack on Winter. Milori doesn’t know what is, but around fifteen fairies are in horrible state. He requires my assistance.”

— “With all due respect, why does he need you over there? Can not he share all the information via writing?”

— “He is in critical condition and cannot share all the information we need through text. He needs to talk directly with me. I’m going to warn the other ministers about this problem. Artemis, please call Captain Nighshade to come here” —

 

          Artemis followed her orders and went into the search for the captain. Clarion glanced over her desk and started writing letters for the ministers warning about this unknown creature attacking on winter, and how it was getting near to Autumn or Spring at any moment. After a while Captain Nightshade appeared on her chambers. Clarion explained the situation: no one must leave their homes unless it's completely necessary before they locate the creature; all the scouts must guard the Autumn-Winter and Spring-Winter borders at all moments; and for last, she will be going to winter alone——no one else can cross the border until she changes orders——if anything happens she’ll communicate in the form of a letter.

          Captain Nightshade nodded at the commands as she sprinted out of the palace to share the orders with her comrades. In a few minutes the citizens were ordered to hide in their homes until new notice; the ministers received the letters by fast-flying talents. Barriers started to form near the bridges due to the scouts in alert-mode. Their eyes wide open, searching for the creature lost in the woods. This whole process took around one hour to be completed, but Clarion was paralysed. As a result of knowing that Milori was hurt she could not focus on anything else. She needed to be on Winter as quickly as possible, but he mentioned that she should go during afternoon.

— “Your majesty, the scouts are in position as you commanded” — Artemis eyebrows furrowed as she looked down at the floor, thinking

— “Good, thank you for your service” — Clarion noticed her guard’s anxiety, she wasn’t saying something to her—Artemis, is everything all right?” —

— “I wanted to know why you don’t want anyone to accompany you to Winter. It’s dangerous and against the rule you established. There’s a monster on the lose, you could be injured severely by it” — Artemis was distressed by her decision

— “If its as dangerous as Milori mentioned on the letter it would be harder to get there if we are various people. Summing to that, he is going to send someone to take me to him on the afternoon. Transportation would be a little harder.” —Clarion made up that lie and Artemis could see it

— “I understand then, your highness. If you’ll excuse me, I would like to go with you until the border to know that you are safe- “

— “No need” —Clarion interjected giving a soft smile— “There will be other scouts watching anyways, I would prefer if you focused on checking if the Tinkers are doing fine”

Petra, it's true, Artemis has not checked on her since they started to protect the civilians.

—“As you wish, I’m going to retreat now then” — Artemis now felt that Clarion clearly was hiding something, but she cannot push any further. Probably the Queen just wanted to use this opportunity to be alone with her ‘Lord’— “Clarion, please stay safe” —she left the room—

 

— “You too Artemis, and don’t worry, I’ll be fine” — She waved her hand as her guard left.

          When Artemis was gone, Clarion ran to her closet in the search of the winter equipment Petra made when she first crossed the border. It was as good as new—well, with a few scratches—but seem new. Clarion opened her bag to put it inside and comb her hair. Anxiety rushed through her at remembering how their last conversation went. It was so scary to see him again due to knowing how she will react——with need. But she needed to put all that aside, he was hurt and needed help from her to stop this madness once again.

 The day passed painfully slow as she waited to be afternoon. The micro-second the sun started to hide on the horizon she grabbed her things and flew away to the Spring-Winter border.  

          The scouts stood tall across the border, prepared to attack if it was necessary. They greeted her when she passed between them. Already conscious of why she was there they didn’t do further questions. Some ‘good luck’ wishes could be heard on the background as she got on her feet at one foot away from the border. Once again, she was there. The snowy landscape was completely silent and empty. A snowstorm was occurring at that moment; it made it hard to distinguish the objects in there. Noctua would not be able to pass across the harsh wind if it continued, and the sun was already hiding completely causing doubt on her——what if no one comes.

          Feeling like she could not wait any longer she decided to trespass the barrier herself. She gave slow steps as Winter embraced her warm body. Due to the change of temperature, a shiver ran down her spine as she walked to the woods. Clarion felt heavy moving across the snow, fighting her boots getting stuck inside of it. Felt like leaving it for tomorrow but the thought of fairies and Milori getting severely injured made her not back down. The scouts on the distance watch in awe as her silhouette vanished in the winter storm, the only thing identifying her was her golden glow.

          The more the snowstorm grew she found out her life was at play. Her muscles aching because of the constant pull from her footsteps. Runny thoughts started to form as she wondered if Milori has been missing her too. How their reunion would be like? Nothing special was the most possible case-scenario. He must have forgotten about her, he could be capable of showing her his new girlfriend. No, be positive Clarion, this luck of yours must be for a reason.

Once she was deep on the woods the wind was not as harsh as before. Only then, she actually started to see the hinterland that envelope her. The pine trees were tall, strongly attached to the dirt. They extended immensely across the forest and that worried her. If the beast was still inside the Winter Realm, this was the perfect place for him to hide.

          She walked aimlessly in a single direction, not distinguishing any other fairies or animals. Maybe was wrong of her to walk, maybe the winter scout was waiting for her in the border without knowing she was already on the middle of the forest. Hunger was starting to form——how much bad luck she needed. The only thing that remained her this was real was the letter Milori sended. This situation felt like a dream come true to her to point she could not take it seriously. The focus was more on the theme that this was the perfect opportunity to have an excuse to be by Milori’s side. There was the possibility that they would fix their differences and start over again.

          Even if she tortured herself with work to not think about Milori, she hated having to think of solutions for everyone in Pixie Hollow. Sometimes there was a hope that she could push all her obligations away and live a simple life full of glee. Since the moments she was born, she was expected to fulfill all sorts of obligations, and now having to save the whole kingdom almost every month was not helping.

          Crack—— She heard a stick break, like someone put their foot on top of it. That broke her thoughts away.

          She turned around, looking for the origin of the sound. Maybe her solitude was not as real as she thought. ——Crack. Another footstep, now more near——On front of her she distinguished a shadow hiding between the trees. Didn’t look like a monster, more like a fairy wondering around; was looking directly at her.

— “Hello, who’s there?” — she yelled at the unknown person in a friendly tone —

          Clarion regretted it on an instant after she saw what he had at hand——a knife. He did not answer her salute and vanished between the shadows. He moved around watching her, like a predator planning how to jump towards their prey. The stranger was not a friendly being, was going to attack her. The shadow started walking closer, due to the moonlight she could see more details. Was a man, covered on a thick black cape and a hoddie hiding his face. Had a strong tall body for what she could see, milky white skin and hair, clearly a winter fairy. He didn’t say a single word while walking. Clarion gave a few steps back in fear and tried to communicate but was futile.

           The stranger started running fast to her, prepared to attack, and she ran too. Her body already was in pain due to the walk from before and exhaustion quickly catch her due to hunger. Clarion ran as fast as she could, yet the man was already behind about to grab her. She felt his cold hands against her hair. Consequently, she screamed when he pinned her down below him. She tried to kick him off as best as her panicked self could. From a pocket, he took out a thick rope and used his legs to press her arms to the floor. For a second, he just admired her and grabbed her chin up. She went still as an ice statue. After a while of this position she noticed, his groin was in front of her face. Was getting tight against his clothes. Now she could hear his ragged breath while imagining who knows what. Was he liking this that way? Was he going to do something to her?

—“Get off me you sick pervert! I’m the Queen of Pixie Hollow, if you dare to put any of your nasty fingers on top of my skin, I swear I’ll get you executed!” —She screamed between fear and anger. There was not really execution on Pixie Hollow, but she needed to sound severe.

"Seems like I had luck tonight. If you are going to execute me better to make it special, don’t you think?” — the stranger chuckled. His voice muffled down due to the clothes making it hard to identify it

— “I can’t believe Milori haven’t kill scum like you. letting you live freely-” — now she was praying that magically he was going to rescue her from this man.

— “I guess he is not as different as you think” — Clarion could distinguish a smile below the mask

         Her mind started to swim trying to comprehend what does he mean that Milori is not as different. He was kind, romantic, gentle and a complete sweetheart compared to this monster. The stranger restrained her arms and legs with the rope and covered her mouth with his hand. Tears fell from Clarions cheeks due to the extreme fear she was feeling. By the time she thought of using teleportation magic, her anxiety was sky-rocking. As result, she squirmed against his grasp as he pulled out a flower she had never seen before and forced her to smell it. Her eyelids started to feel heavy, her ragged breaths slowed down and before she knew it, she entered a deep slumber. The last words she heard were:

“Good night my Starlight”