Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Hey Keith, can we talk?”

Lance was standing outside the doors of the castle’s training room, hands fidgety and eyes unsure. Keith wondered how long he’d been standing there, and if this talk implied something bad because Lance seemed five seconds away from running. It was uncharacteristically weird of him, so Keith nodded and let Lance lead him back to his room.

It was an awkward walk- Keith would know- but this time it was Lance who couldn’t seem to fill the silence with his usual goofy banter or jokes that Keith only sometimes understood. It was actually really starting to worry him. Was Lance going to start an argument with him? Did he do or say something wrong and now Lance was about to chew him out for it? Keith wasn’t sure if he was emotionally ready to handle a verbal fight with Lance this late into the night. He wasn’t even sure if anybody else was awake to play mediator, except Pidge of course but they always had headphones in while working.

Just as Keith was psyching himself up to turn the other direction and leave, the door to Lance’s room shut behind him with a quiet hiss, and Keith’s anxious thoughts evaporated as he saw Lance’s broken expression. “Uh,” Keith’s voice cracked as he tried to speak, so he cleared it and tried again, “Lance? Is everything good?”

Lance laughed despite how obvious it was that no, everything was not good. “Dios, you’re so strange, but it’s perfect because I need an unbiased opinion on this. So please, Keith, be honest with me, yeah?” Keith looks past the fact that Lance had just blatantly complimented him for being weird, and instead nods in an attempt to show Lance that he can trust him with whatever it is he needed to talk about. So far, nothing had hinted as to what Lance was so worried about, and Keith was starting to internally freak out.

Looking anywhere but at Lance seemed to ease his nerves, so he let his eyes fall to the side. Lance’s room felt… out of place. Keith had a vague idea of what Lance’s room usually looked like due to the few times he’s been in there or passed by while the door was open, and it was clean more often than not. As clean as a room could be when it was stuffed with so much space memorabilia- but now things seemed unorganized. As if Lance couldn’t bother enough to put things back once he’d used them. Keith wondered if this was related to how weird Lance had been acting ever since he had approached him to talk.

Lance opened his mouth to speak, hesitated, and then scratched the back of his neck in a clear sign of second-guessing his choices before spitting out everything that had been on his mind.

“So, all self-deprecation aside, it’s like, super obvious that I’m the weakest link in the team, right? So, I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately, and… like, wouldn’t it make more sense to find somebody who's more suited to be the Blue Paladin? I swear I’m not fishing for compliments or anything like that! I’m just being realistic y’know? This is a war we’re dealing with, the universe literally hangs in the balance, and I’m just being honest when I say that Loverboy Lance, cargo pilot and semi-accurate sharpshooter extraordinaire just doesn’t seem all too cut out for this legendary defender stuff. At least, not as much as the rest of you guys are. You all have your own like, things…” He said the word ‘things’ as if it was obvious what he was talking about, and yet it died out as if just thinking about it was hurting him. “Shiro was born a leader, Allura is a literal space princess, I’ve never met somebody who can problem-solve as quickly as Coran can, Hunk is the smartest mechanic I know- and he’s so brave! Pidge could probably outsmart any supercomputer on this ship, and you Keith… don’t even get me started.” For a few seconds, Keith thought that Lance was actually about to insult him, but wow was he wrong.

“You’re an amazing fighter and pilot, even better than Shiro- sorry Shiro- who has literal years of experience with this sort of stuff. He trained nearly his entire life to prepare for the Garrison, but you showed up and completely wiped the floor with everybody there. Iverson should have never kicked you out, you had more potential than anybody else. I never planned on telling you this, and it’s really embarrassing so you better not tell anybody, but I look up to you a lot. I know I say, like, all the time that Shiro is my idol but because of the whole rivalry-neck-and-neck-enemy stuff, it’d be kind of weird for me to say that you’re who I’ve always aspired to be as a pilot, and now as a Paladin.”

Keith wanted to cut him off about twenty sentences ago, but now he was just dumbstruck, the inside of his head an embarrassed mess. He hoped to everything that his cheeks weren’t visibly as hot as his insides felt because Lance would never let him hear the end of it. He just couldn’t believe that Lance had been thinking these things about him the entire time, and he especially didn’t expect him to be so straightforward about it, but then he remembered what started this whole conversation, and his brain did backflips trying to piece together why Lance was having these doubts about himself.

Before Keith could even form a word, Lance was talking again, probably worried about how long it was taking Keith to respond. “I don’t know, I guess it’s just obvious that I’m never going to be on your level, let alone anyone else’s on this ship, and no matter how hard I try, I just... don’t think my place on this team is as valuable. I came to you because you’re usually really blunt, and I think that’s what I need right now. So, lay it on me, dude! If you think that finding a more suitable Paladin to pilot Blue would be the smartest option, then that’s what we’ll do. I want what’s best for the universe and if I’m not capable of being that then something needs to be done about it, y’know?”

Keith was… angry to say the least. Angrier than he expected himself to be at Lance’s pity speech, and while he didn’t step into this room with the preconceived idea that he’d be reassuring Lance of his place in Voltron, he was right to think that Lance had something dumb to say, per usual.

“Are you an idiot, Lance? Don’t respond to that. Your answer was literally in the last thing you just said.”

Lance looked hurt and started to ask in confusion, “That I’m not capable of- “

“No, no. Sorry, that sounded rude. I meant when you said that you want what’s best for the universe, and that’s what makes you a great Paladin. You want to be here. As much as you miss Earth, all of your family members, and those stupid garlic knots you always talk about, you still want to fight. You still want to protect those in trouble, which is more than what can be said for most people. If this job was offered to anybody else with full transparency of how hard and painful it was going to be, most would turn it down, but I know for a fact that you’d agree to it every time no matter what. You’re able to find positivity in literally anything, and I have no clue how you do it, but I know the entire team appreciates it more than you know. Every single one of us always jumps to the worst conclusion, but you’re the one who pulls us out of our thoughts with your dumb movie nights and annoying jokes. Yes, we always give you shit and make fun of you for the way you act, but we love that about you Lance, and I am so sorry that nobody has told you that. I think we let it go too far. We need to remember that you need reassurance too, even though you never seem like you do, but that’s because you’re always too busy carrying the rest of the team through all of this.”

Keith started to stumble through his words, forgetting through his rant that he needed to breathe between sentences. Lance didn’t seem anywhere close to interrupting him though, so Keith continued, “Besides, you’re the best shot this team has. You have our backs whether it be on the battlefield or during our everyday tasks. We wouldn’t be a team without you, Lance. You’re our sharpshooter, of course your place on this team is valuable.”

Keith was now breathing heavier to make up for the lack of oxygen in his lungs and he relaxed his fists, not realizing that he had clenched them halfway through his speech in passionate frustration. He also hadn’t realized how close he had gotten until Lance was taking a step back and turning his face to the side.

“Um, wow. I think you said more words just now than you have the entire time I’ve known you,” Lance joked, but Keith could tell that it was him who was embarrassed now, so this was Lance’s attempt at bringing the attention away from the shy smile he couldn’t wipe from his face. “Seriously though, thank you, Keith. I definitely didn’t expect that from you but now that you’ve said it, I’ve realized that it was what I actually needed to hear. Like, really needed to hear. So… thanks.”

Now that the frustration was gone, Keith started to notice just how awkward the conversation was getting and how suffocating the air was, but he still needed to get through to Lance that he had a purpose here. He needed to give Lance a reason to hold on to this.

“If you’ve really been doubting your abilities this much, then I’ll help you train. I’ll teach you everything I know, and I’ll push you until you’re happy with yourself as the Blue Paladin, okay? Just don’t give up on Voltron, please. Don’t give up on us.” Keith realized how weird that must of sounded and jumped to correct himself. “Don’t give up on the team.”

Lance seemed ecstatic at the idea and quickly nodded. “That’d be super awesome, thank you, Keith! Seriously, I appreciate it a lot. It’ll be our rivals-to-sidekicks origin story, we’ll make a better duo than anybody else on this ship! Well, Hunk and the kitchen might have us beat on that one, but we’ll be the second-best duo! Just you wait, I’ll work really hard, I promise.” Lance smiled his big goofy smile, then shot Keith his infamous finger guns. Keith couldn’t help but chuckle at how silly he looked, but he couldn’t agree more with what Lance had said.

He smiled warmly back at Lance and realized that he was the one being uncharacteristically weird now, but he couldn’t care less.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

----------

“Members of Voltron, I’m glad we were able to get a hold of you. As the leader of Keith’s division in the Blade of Marmora, it’s my responsibility to let you know that he has unfortunately gone missing during his last mission. The ship that he left with has disappeared completely from our scanners, and it seems that his suit’s tracker has malfunctioned because we can’t get a ping on his location. I apologize on behalf of the Blade of Marmora, for we knew that this mission would be dangerous, and Keith can be quite the stubborn fighter. We should have considered his importance to Voltron, but we can say for certain that he fought with purpose and upheld all of the Marmora principles. We will continue to search the Universe for him, but we are sincerely sorry if this has inconvenienced Voltron in any way.”

Lance couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Inconvenienced? The possibility of Keith being captured or worse, dead, is just an inconvenience to them? Lance had to bite his tongue to stop himself from spouting disgusting words at Kolivan.

Lance looked around the room, trying to gauge the reactions of the rest of the team in case he needed to perform some damage control, but everybody was seemingly unsurprised. Lance couldn’t blame them; they were all familiar with Keith’s destructive habits at this point. That didn’t mean that they weren’t worried for his well-being, but Lance was sure that everybody held at least a little bit of hope that Keith was able to get himself out of whatever mess he was in. He’s been able to do it countless times before, so this could be no different.

Shiro seemed understandably shaken up considering his relationship with Keith, so Lance snuck up beside him in an attempt to not attract attention. He poked his bony elbow into Shiro’s side. “He’ll be fine. He’s a stubborn fighter but he’s also a stubborn survivor. We’re gonna find him, and then you can give him the good old Dad-scolding for being reckless again.”

Shiro’s lips quirked into a grateful smile, “You’re right, Lance. Thank you,” He whispered back.

Except, Lance couldn’t even convince himself of his own words. Anxiety and guilt were simultaneously eating through his gut at that moment, but he smiled back at Shiro anyway and tuned back into the conversation happening through the Castle’s main communication system.

“Lance is currently the best at controlling his connection with the lions, so our first course of action will be to see if Lance can get any useful information through Red, whether it be Keith’s last known coordinates or his usual survival tactics. Hopefully, we will find something that will help us narrow down our search.” Allura stood tall and spoke professionally, and Lance admired her for it. She was always so empathetic of all of the Paladins and yet she was remaining composed to maintain Voltron’s image with the Blade of Marmora. Lance assumed he would have already lost his shit if he were in her position, and Shiro definitely would have done something irrational by now.

Coran stepped up beside Allura and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. It was an action meant to be grounding but was disguised as comradery. Lance could nearly hear Allura’s exhale as Coran cut in to give her a break from speaking.

“We’ll make sure to relay any information we gather, and we’d appreciate any you have to share in return. We understand that The Blade of Marmora has very strict rules about releasing mission details or personal info but any you are able to spare would be very helpful.”

Kolivan nodded but didn’t show any emotion per usual. No wonder Keith fits in so well with them, Lance thought.

“I’ll be sending a file to your castle’s system in a few ticks, I apologize if it’s scarce. I’ve supplied what my higherups have allowed me. Good luck to you all, I hope to hear from Voltron again soon.”

“Thank you, Kolivan.” Allura got in before the holographic screen went blank and she released her hands from the podium.

There’s a heavy silence for a few moments before she’s speaking up again, already assigning roles for the search. “Shiro, please join me and Coran in analyzing what the Blade has provided for us. Hunk and Pidge, if you’re able to find any security footage or eyewitnesses that may lead us to where Keith is now, I’d very much appreciate it. Lance, I know the chances are slim, but you’ve always been good at communicating with the lions, so please speak to Red and see if she can help in any way.”

“You’ve got it, Princess,” Lance chimed in, and while the team didn’t seem too worried about the prospect of Keith being missing in action, the stress was apparent. Lance made a mental note to make rounds later so he could check in on everyone.

And if the fear building up inside Lance burned his stomach lining and pressed against his lungs, he didn’t pay attention to it, nor did he make it apparent to anybody else on the ship.

----------

Two weeks. Two weeks had gone by with no helpful leads towards Keith’s location. Two weeks since Lance failed to get help from the Red Lion and had felt useless ever since. Maybe if he and Keith were able to get some training in beforehand, Lance would have been brave enough to jump in Blue and save Keith himself. That’s what Keith would have done.

Except Lance wasn’t Keith, and Keith probably wasn’t even Keith anymore. Every tick that passed by only convinced Lance further that Keith was just a cloud of space dust at this point; dead beyond saving because Voltron didn’t act quick enough to find him.

Lance knew that he couldn’t blame the team, they all had been working hard trying to find something- anything- while Lance was doing what? Sitting around on his ass and waiting for one of the others to find something useful? Yet, Lance couldn’t stop thinking about the roles being reversed, and how quickly Keith would have fought through every Galra in space just to find one of their missing teammates, and he would’ve been successful too. Just like he always was.

Or was he? Because this time Keith had gotten himself so royally screwed, that neither Voltron nor the Blade of Marmora could figure out where he had gone. It’d also been two weeks of radio silence on the Blade’s part as well. Lance was growing tired of sitting in the same spot and waiting to pick up any transmissions the castle received. Sometimes he liked to imagine that the next time he responded to a call; it would be Keith’s face that showed up on the hologram.

It never was, of course.

The alarm to Lance’s handheld communication device was deafening in the silent control room, signaling that it was 9:00 PM according to the castle’s schedule. Lance stood and stretched his aching limbs, then went to prepare plates of food goo for everyone.

The kitchen and dining room were expectantly empty, and so Lance loaded up five plates onto one of Hunk’s cutting boards and made his rounds. Pidge was going to need their dinner first because they always took the longest to eat with how distracted they would get with their keyboard. Luckily, wherever Pidge was, Hunk usually wasn’t far off.

He found them in Red’s hangar, fiddling with chords that were attached to Red on one end and Pidge’s laptop on the other.

Lance could hear bits of their conversation as he approached. “Unplug this one…and then…try this port and if that doesn’t work…we can- oh hey, Lance!” Hunk cheered and then his eyes zeroed in on the tray in Lance’s arms. “You brought goo! Thank you, man!”

“No problemo, anything for the nerdiest members of the team.” Lance set down two plates a good distance away from any valuable tech. “What are you guys up to?” He asked, knowing full well he wasn’t going to understand a thing but figured he would be nice and try anyway.

Pidge seemed to be in a mood sourer than Hunk’s, and it showed in their response. “Well, we were trying to get a good connection with Red so that I would be able to sort through her internal memory without needing you to coax information out of her. We can’t find a chord that’s compatible with its core though, and we’ve been rummaging through this damn box of Altean wires all day! If I have to unplug and plug back in another chord, I’ll rip my own hair out!”

Usually, Lance would laugh at a joke like that, but he could see the anger in Pidge’s features and the tightness of the grip they had on the chord in their hands. They looked seconds away from a meltdown, and Hunk was watching in worry with a mouth full of food goo.

Lance slumped down beside them and rested his arm on top of their head, effectively distracting them enough to pull the wire from their grip. “Calm down, Pidgy, you are literally capable of anything, this stupid box of chords is the least of your worries.” A pulsating presence washed over Lance, and he tipped his head up to meet Red’s gaze. The Lions were more than just technology, they were sentient space cats, capable of sharing thoughts and feelings through the bonds with their Paladins. Maybe it wasn’t as simple as plugging in a regular, old chord.

Lance perked up, turned to Pidge, and asked, “Are any of these chords similar to the ones in the headgear that we use when we do mind-meld stuff?”

Pidge was quiet for a few moments before whipping their head in Lance’s direction and squeezing his face between two tiny hands. “Lance, you stupid genius! That’s exactly what we need! I’ll go grab a headset Hunk!”

Before Pidge could even stand, Lance was grabbing their wrist and pulling them back to the floor. “Food first, then you can continue your nerd stuff.” Lance chided. Pidge started to pout, as Lance suspected they would. “I’ll go grab the headset, and you’ll be finished by the time I get back anyway.”

Pidge grabbed at their plate and started shoveling food into their mouth.

While Lance was on his way out, Pidge shouted from across the hangar, “Don’t fowget the adaptwors pwease.”

“Maybe chew before you speak, Pidge?” Hunk murmured through a grin.

Pidge’s swallow was aggressive. “This is going to be great Hunk! We’ll finally be able to get some useful information through Red, and then we can actually start coming up with a plan!”

While Lance was relieved that Pidge’s mood had brightened considerably, the stab of pain in his heart was overwhelming. He was supposed to be the one who got through to Red to get information on Keith, and he was supposed to be able to do it the second they found out he was missing. Instead, weeks had passed; weeks that Keith could have been spending in fear and wondering if Voltron was ever going to save him.

Lance had long since berated himself for assuming that Keith wasn’t capable of feeling fear or abandonment, and he sometimes felt that the team was still stuck in that mindset. It was true that Keith rarely showed those emotions to anybody, but Lance knew they were there, whether Keith wanted to admit to them or not.

So, every second that Lance spent imagining that Keith was stuck on some planet or prison cell thinking that Voltron wasn’t coming to get him- that they believed he was capable of getting back on his own- was another second that Lance doubted his abilities as a Paladin.

The little confidence that he had gained from his conversation with Keith was slowly dwindling, but Lance sure as hell planned on gripping to that last bit of self-worth and using it to get through this.

He just had to hope that they’d find Keith fast enough- before he’d be running on empty.

----------

“Okay team, I know our spirits are low. Tomorrow marks one month since Keith has been missing, and any leads we’ve gotten through Red or the Blade were all dead ends, but we can’t give up on this. For now, we’ve got Lance piloting Red, and Allura has been improving by leaps and bounds since she’s started piloting Blue, but Voltron isn’t at its strongest unless Keith is with us and Allura is leading the castle. Starting now, we’re going to start making occasional sweeps through each quadrant we pass through on our way to respond to distress beacons. We’ll ask any allies of the Voltron coalition if they’ve heard anything. We can’t lose hope when Keith is out there waiting for us.”

Shiro was as inspiring as ever. He stood tall at the dinner table as he gave his speech, and once everyone began to eat, Lance could only stare at his plate.

While Shiro was trying to be encouraging by telling the team that they’ve been doing well without their best pilot, the truth was that Voltron was struggling.

The worst part was…the more Lance thought about it, the more he realized that any recent mistakes were entirely his fault. Recently, he couldn’t bring himself out of this funk long enough to contribute to anything.

Lance looked across the table at Hunk, who didn’t seem as excited to be eating as he usually was. They hadn’t talked one-on-one in a while.

Lance decided that he’d try to find Hunk in his room that night. Lord knows they both needed it.

And Hunk was in his room at a reasonable time for once. Lance was actually relieved. He couldn’t remember the last time he didn’t have to hunt down the Hunk and Pidge duo to make sure they were getting rest in between the work they were both doing. The knock he left on Hunk’s door was too loud in the silent hallway. He tried not to think about the night he opened up to Keith.

This was going to be different. This was Hunk! His best friend! Hunk always knew what to say, and Lance was sure he’d leave feeling better than ever.

Hunk had clearly been getting ready for bed, his pajamas already on and the room’s speakers playing white noise of birds that were native to the area of Samoa that Hunk’s family was from. Lance felt bad for bothering him, but Hunk had already sat up the second he walked in and was ready for whatever Lance needed him for apparently.

“What’s up buddy?” He asked in the most caring tone- which was exactly what Lance needed at the moment, and he nearly shed tears at the reminder of how important Hunk was to him. Losing Keith was bad enough, he could only imagine how broken he’d be if it had been Hunk who went missing instead.

Lance immediately scolded himself for making the comparison and joined Hunk by sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I just… It-,” Lance struggles, and Hunk is wonderfully understanding. They had both come to realize that while Lance never ran out of words in any other circumstance, he doesn’t have as easy of a time when it comes to voicing his feelings or emotions. Luckily, Hunk is the most patient person Lance knows. “Well, you know how everyone has been feeling lately…”

“Oh definitely, but I’m assuming you’re here because you need to talk about how you’ve been feeling. Lance, you know you don’t need to speak for everyone’s emotions all the time. You and Keith may have had your differences, but you deserve to feel just as upset about this as the rest of us do. And don’t think that I haven’t noticed how much you’ve been looking out for all of us! You need to take breaks too buddy, please remember that. Now, what’s the real reason you came to see me?”

Hunk figured him out so quickly. Lance shouldn’t be surprised. Even when words fail him, he usually can’t hide the emotions that show through his expressions. At the moment, he was equally grateful and horrified that Hunk knew he needed help so badly. It was easier opening up to Keith because it wouldn’t have hurt as bad if Keith had shut him down. Of course, Hunk isn’t like that- but rejection had always been a lingering fear of Lance’s.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you worry. I just know that I can’t be as helpful in the search as everyone else can, so I’ve been trying to help out in different ways. We aren’t going to get anywhere if you guys keep forgetting to take care of yourselves, y’know? It’s just… a lot of that time I spend sitting around, stuck with my thoughts. I feel like I can’t contribute to anything and it isn’t fair to him. It’s just really bringing me down and I guess I needed to talk to somebody who knows my worth and can convince me that I’m not the reason that we haven’t found Keith yet.”

Hunk is silent for a few seconds, and Lance worries that he may have spilled too much at once, but then Hunk is pulling him into a side hug that is just as comforting as his regular hugs, and Lance could physically feel the stress leaving his body at the contact.

“Oh Lance… the only person at fault is whoever Keith was fighting before he disappeared- or Keith himself. From what the reports said, it seemed that Keith wasn’t up against anybody he couldn’t handle, so I like to believe that he just got himself in a really unfortunate situation and is stuck until we can help him out! Either way, you know just as much as the rest of us do, and you’ve been plenty of help, Lance. You don’t need to blame yourself for anything.”

Hunk was definitely right about that, but it was nothing Lance didn’t already know. It was his anxiety that made him blame himself either way, but he wasn’t about to tell Hunk that his words weren’t what he was hoping to hear. Don’t get him wrong, he appreciated Hunk’s reassurance endlessly, but he couldn’t help but still feel that he hadn’t been of any use during the past month.

“I hope he’s okay,” Lance managed to whisper weakly. He couldn’t muster the emotional strength to share anything else that had been on his mind.

Hunk gave half a smile back, then his eyes fell somewhere around the neckline of Lance’s shirt; Lance guessed it was at is exposed collarbones. His eyes had gotten too comfortable staring at the floor to actually check, but if Hunk noticed a difference, he thankfully didn’t say as much. Lance was having trouble getting food down lately, much less having any sort of appetite to begin with.

“We all hope so too, buddy. If I’m being honest, I think we’re running out of steam. We were more motivated when we had first heard the news- Keith is resilient after all-but at this point, I think holding onto the hope that he’s fine and in hiding somewhere is the only thing we can do until we get any sort of lead.”

Hunk was ranting, and Lance was losing his ability to hold back tears. Hunk needed this too, so Lance let him keep talking, but he struggled to focus on what Hunk was saying. He felt like the metaphorical rope of his sanity was ripping, and he had no choice but to try and hold it together for everyone’s sake- for Keith’s sake.

How long before it snaps, and I truly become useless to the team?

Beside him, Hunk had started stumbling through his words and gripping his hands tight to stop them from shaking. His face was pale, and Lance hated himself for not realizing how quickly Hunk was spiraling during his rant.

“Shit, come on Hunk, we gotta get you to the bathroom.”

They made it just in time to save themselves from having to clean Hunk’s dinner up off the floors of the hallway.

Hunk was never going to be mad at him for it, but Lance made sure to apologize anyway for not noticing that Hunk had been talking himself straight into a panic attack. Hunk also apologized for cutting their talk short since the attack had drained all of his energy for the night.

He promised that they could continue another time, and while Lance agreed, he had already made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t bring it up again with Hunk, or anybody else on the ship for that matter. He couldn’t handle blaming himself for worrying his friends on top of the anxiety he was already feeling.

As Lance walked back to his room that night, he stopped outside the door to Keith’s room. He’d done it multiple times before but never went as far as going inside. He didn’t want to convince himself that Keith wouldn’t ever be on the other side of that door again. But it was past midnight on the ship’s cycle, so it had technically been one month since the disappearance.

It was symbolic, right? At least, that’s what Lance told himself as an excuse to go inside.

In reality, the moment he stepped through that doorway was the moment he stopped believing that Keith was still alive out there.

It was left exactly how Lance had expected, and how the team had expected. It was why they hadn’t bothered checking for clues in there. Keith owned nothing but the clothes on his back- literally- and the blade he had on him when he left.

The shelves and desk were covered in a thin layer of dust, there was nothing left on the floor, and the bed wasn’t made because Keith was always too busy worrying about training instead of bed upkeep. Maybe if Lance prioritized the way Keith had, he’d be a better Paladin.

To his left, the door to the closet was left open.

Inside was Keith’s stupid red jacket that he never took off.

Lance wasn’t a total idiot. He’d figured out by now that it was a sort of comfort item for Keith. Lance assumed it was one of the few things that reminded him of his parents considering he’s had it for so long. Before he went missing, Keith hadn’t been wearing it as often since he had been outgrowing it with all of the training he’d been doing. Which was probably why it had been left behind.

It was pathetic for that ugly jacket to be Lance’s breaking point, and he knew it, but the image of Keith being stranded, and alone, and scared without the one thing that brought him comfort was too much for Lance to think about.

And now that Lance had given up on the hope that Keith was still alive, he was actually angry that the jacket was the only thing the team had left of him. Lance couldn’t decide if he would’ve been happier with nothing.

In a moment of weakness, Lance wanted to rip it from the hanger and throw it away. Instead, he turned and left the room in silence.

It was underwhelming, but Lance still felt it. The breaking in his chest. The pain in his head.

The snap.

Not long at all, apparently.

Except, Lance didn’t want to be useless anymore.

----------

“Keith, you mean more to me than you think. So much that it scares me sometimes.”

Keith couldn’t believe what he was seeing- what he was hearing. The lights were too bright, and everything around him was blurry, but the person who stood in front of him was Lance, no doubt about it. The same tan skin, sapphire eyes, and curly hair…except something was off.

The thin, pink scar on his face was impossible to ignore. It started just above the middle of his eyebrow and ran down his eye before stopping at his cheekbone. Keith never understood how delicate Lance could make things seem despite his rambunctious personality. Even the obvious stress in his features somehow seemed soft in Keith’s opinion.

Keith was at a loss for words, both in spirit and memory, but Lance started to speak again. He looked away, and Keith only then realized just how tall Lance had gotten in comparison to his own height. He now had a five-inch lead at minimum. “Look, you don’t have to believe me, just remember those words the next time I say something stupid, okay?”

The confusion Keith felt was stronger than when the memory first started, and that’s because it wasn’t a memory- he realized now that it was the rare glimpse into the future his mom had mentioned when she first told him about the effects of the Quantum Abyss. He knew that his relationship with Lance had gotten better over the years they’ve had to spend together, but he never imagined they’d get to a point where they were comfortable enough to have such intimate conversations. He couldn’t begin to speculate how far down the road this memory was going to come to fruition.

All at once, Keith’s senses were forcefully shoved back into his own body. His hearing adjusted first, then his vision, and he was faced with his hands pressed roughly into the maroon dirt of whatever chunk of space debris he and Krolia had been traversing before the solar flare hit. He realized now that the force of it had knocked both of them off balance. His mom was to his right, and Keith couldn’t see any visible injuries on her from the fall. “Are you okay?” He asked anyway.

She nods, pushing herself up to her knees. “Yeah, that one seemed particularly rough. I wonder why.”

Keith shrugged and stood to help Krolia to her feet. “That one hasn’t happened yet. I think it’ll be years before I have that interaction. Too bad it wasn’t something that could give me an idea of how the war plays out.”

“That might be something we’re better off not knowing. We can’t change the course of the future and if we see a glimpse of destruction and chaos… well we might lose all will to fight in the current time,” she explained, then pulled out her tracker, probably to make sure they were still following the right coordinates. “Besides, these memories are usually out of context. Our best bet at the moment is to find the source of the Empire’s quintessence before they can do anything drastic. Like you just saw, without more details, these solar flares won’t do much to help us.”

Keith is quiet at that, and Krolia must have somehow known that he was thinking too hard about what they had both just witnessed.

“That was Lance, right? You two seemed closer than how you described in your stories. Was that unusual for him?”

Keith was a bit embarrassed that his own mother got to witness something that seemed like it should be a personal memory to him. At least, he was assuming it was going to be personal to him in the future. It already meant a lot to him now, and he wasn’t even the same Keith that Lance was speaking to in that flashforward. That was a Keith that had experienced years of battle and loss, but also bonding and connection. Lance could only be inclined to say something like that if he and Keith had not only become closer as team members, but also as friends. It was something present-day Keith actually looked forward to, now that he knew it was imminent.

As distant as Keith knew he could seem sometimes, he still wanted to be able to connect with the rest of the team. He’d always felt that flicker of alienation whenever he was around them, even if they were all getting along. It was only made worse when he found out he was part Galra. Of course, he knew that they were all good people, he had just always felt like he was communicating with them through a glass barrier. Aside from Shiro, Lance was the closest Keith had gotten to a familial connection since being forced into the life of a Paladin.

“Yeah, I mean- the Lance I know now would never say something so… vulnerable? He just doesn’t have any reason to, is what I’m trying to say. We had a really good talk before I left for this mission, despite how emotionally challenged I am. He’s been doubting his skills as a member of Voltron, so we both agreed that I would help him train until he feels confident in his abilities again.” Halfway through his rant, a noise coming from behind startled Keith into a combative stance, but then Kosmo was yipping knowingly at him from where he had just teleported to join them on their trek again- back from whatever solo adventure he had just been on. Keith rolled his eyes in half-hearted annoyance. “Anyway, he said some kind things to me during that talk, like how he looks up to me as a pilot and a Paladin, but he’s never said something along those lines, so I’m guessing something is going to happen between us eventually. I like to think that all of this sentimental talking we’re doing is training me to be better at communicating with the team, so maybe that’s what it is.”

Krolia met his smile with a genuine one of her own at that last statement. He wasn’t wrong, they had a lot of catching up to do, and no matter how much of a parental figure Shiro was for Keith, having the real thing was doing leaps and bounds for his lack of social skills. He didn’t really have anywhere to run if Krolia asked something too personal, and it’s not like he could say no, she was his mother.

“He seems nice; Lance. It’s reassuring to know that somebody has been supporting you in my absence. No offense to Shiro or anything, from what you’ve told me he just seems to be lacking in the emotions department as well. Not that I’m any better, but I’m trying. I want to be the mother you deserve.”

“You are- you have been. So far. I appreciate it. And yeah, it’s just strange because any other time it seems like he wants to pick a fight or challenge me at anything and everything. I can’t tell if he looks up to me or secretly hates my guts.”

Krolia smiled at that and took Keith’s hand to help him over a fast-moving stream; the water was moving quickly but appeared to not have a source or a drop-off. Kosmo was quicker and teleported Keith to the other side before he could even take a step.

“It’s like he said. He aspires to be like you, Keith. He wants to learn and improve from you,” Krolia explained, then started off across the expanse of debris again, leading them further into the quantum abyss, “You should take that as a compliment.”

Chapter Text

“That’s it, the castle ship is in view now. It seems like they’ve noticed us, but they aren’t answering on any of the communication lines.” Keith started, changing their own ship's trajectory towards the Castle’s hangar entrances.

“Probably because we showed up without warning, and we’re in one of the Blade’s ships. It’s unlike them to visit unannounced.” Krolia explained, but it doesn’t sit right with Keith.

“Yeah, so they should’ve guessed it was me by now.” The closer they got, and the longer it took for anybody to contact made Keith anxious. He shifted in the pilot’s seat. Krolia put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“We might be arriving at a bad time. No need to get antsy.”

Keith considered it for a moment, then untightened his grip on the controls. “You’re right.”

After finally reaching the hangars and waiting a few silent moments, the door finally opened, and Keith was able to land. The room was empty when he powered down the ship, so he gave the team a moment to file in and greet him, but his waiting was pointless. Nobody was coming. It took an encouraging head pat from Krolia to snap Keith out of his confusion. “You go on ahead. I’m going to start gathering our supplies. If they do come to welcome us, you should be the one to speak to them first.”

Keith pushed himself from his seat, watched Kosmo and his mother disappear into the back of the ship, and deactivated the helmet to his suit. If anything was actually off about the situation like he had suspected, the only way he was going to find out was by finding someone from his team and asking them himself.

He didn’t have to look far.

The once silent hangar was now deafening by the sound of an echoing gunshot- one met with a bullet that missed Keith’s foot by an inch, embedding into the ramp of his ship instead.

Keith stopped dead in his tracks, sword drawn but not entirely posed for combat. If enemies had infiltrated the ship, they wouldn’t have opened the hangar doors for Keith’s ship at all, and they also wouldn’t have given Keith the chance to exit. Only one person in the Castle could purposely miss a shot so accurately.

“Lance?”

“Who are you?” Lance’s voice echoed throughout the hangar now, but Keith still couldn’t pinpoint where he was hidden.

Keith didn’t think he could feel any more confused than he did at that point. He didn’t have his helmet activated, and his armor was the same Blade of Marmora suit he had when he left. If anything, his hair had grown about an inch, but it should have been painfully obvious that it was him. “What? Keith! I’m Keith! Isn’t that obvious- what is going on?!”

He took another step down the ramp just as Krolia emerged from the ship as well, probably alerted from the noise. Lance fired two more shots, the first bullet landing in front of Krolia’s feet this time, and the other into the metal body of the ship, right next to Keith’s head. A first warning shot for Krolia, and a second warning for Keith, he thought.

“You don’t get a third warning- the next one won’t miss,” Lance confirmed, and Keith was growing more and more frustrated at the fact that he couldn’t determine Lance’s location despite having three different bullets shot in his direction. “Now tell me who you are and don’t fucking lie to me this time! Keith’s been dead for two years, so explain why you’re pretending to be him, and who your Galra friend is.”

Keith realized then that something was terribly, horribly wrong.

He and Krolia knew that time passed differently within the Quantum Abyss, but if he had known that two years were going to pass everywhere else, he wouldn’t have agreed to the mission. They had missed out on two entire years of the war against the Galra Empire. It had to be a joke. Except, Lance would never aim a gun at his friends or family, even as a joke.

This is real. This is actually happening.

He turned to his mother, but she seemed just as lost as he was. He was going to have to handle this fast. The bomb Lance just dropped on them was going to have to wait. First, Keith had to prove that it was truly him and not an enemy wearing his face.

“Shiro!? Can Shiro hear me right now? Oh god, is- is Shiro still alive?”

“Yes.” Was the only response Keith got out of Lance, and he could hear the strung-out patience in his voice from that one word alone.

Keith shouted into the empty hangar with the full intent to tell Shiro something that only the real Keith could know; something only the Keith from Earth could know. “There’s something you haven’t told anybody but me- I know about Adam. I know how much he means to you, and even though you tried to keep it a secret, I know you were planning on proposing after the Kerberos mission. I’m sorry that I snooped through your stuff, and I’m sorry that I’m telling you now instead of in private, but this is the only thing I could think of to prove that it’s really me! I’m alive,” Keith shifted slightly, as to not alert Lance with sudden movements and slowly extended an arm beside himself, “and this is my mother, Krolia. Please let me explain myself. I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long- I’m. I’m so sorry.”

Keith was crying now, overwhelmed by the new information and the idea that he had lost all of the trust he had built up with his team over the years. He had a hard-enough time forming any connection in the first place with how socially anxious he is, but now they had experienced two years of their lives without him, fighting a war that he was supposed to be alongside them for. Even if they believed it was him, were they going to accept a Keith who must have been leagues behind them at that point? Would they even need him anymore?

“Keith!” Shiro burst into the hangar, and Keith could see him running towards their ship through the blur of his tears. “Put your weapon down Lance, it’s him!”

Keith could hear the sound of Lance’s gun reverting back into its Bayard form, but he still couldn’t see where Lance must have been hidden atop the cargo containers. “Be alert Shiro! The Galra could have gotten that information out of you during your captivity! He could easily be a clone!”

Lance’s comments went ignored, and Keith was abruptly pulled into a tight hug by Shiro. Everyone else was entering the room as Shiro was pulling away, and Keith had to rub away the wetness of his eyes to fully take in their differences. They surely were his team, but they were his team after surviving two years of war since he’d last seen them.

“Keith!” Hunk and Pidge were shouting in unison, while Allura and Coran were following close behind, all smiles and disbelief written on their features. Kosmo finally deemed it safe enough to join the commotion, and Pidge was quickly distracted by the teleporting wolf. Keith eventually got a hug from all of them, all except Lance, who Keith thought he caught a glimpse of; it was only a flash of blue armor and brown curls exiting through the hangar doorway before Coran was blocking Keith’s view, giving him a hug tight enough to put Hunk’s to shame.

Once Keith introduced his mom to the group, and everybody got a chance to give Kosmo the much-needed attention he had been whining for, Allura suggested letting Krolia use their communication system to get in contact with the Blade of Marmora while Shiro gave Keith a tour of the updated Castle. It was definitely a disguised excuse to allow Keith to calm down and collect his bearings before the rest of Voltron inevitably needed to discuss how they would continue from there on out. Keith expected that he’d be permanently sent to work with the Blade, but that was if they even needed him still.

It didn’t take long for Shiro to give a rundown on all of the Castle’s changes. There had been some improvements to the kitchen thanks to Pidge, and the training deck was currently under maintenance because of a malfunction with the invisible maze mechanisms. There were also a few members of Voltron’s alliance living aboard the Castle to help with different tasks that the team couldn’t handle fast enough by themselves. Pidge’s brother, Matt, being the only one that Keith would recognize; the rest were aliens of different species that volunteered their specialties to the cause, so Voltron welcomed them with open arms.

Shiro stopped the tour outside of the entrance to the Red Lion’s docking bay. “Two more things. Lance’s room isn’t next to yours anymore, he moved next to Red’s hangar so he could be closer to her. He uh, he’s her pilot now. She chose him surprisingly fast after you left since we were down a Paladin, and Allura took over for Blue. He’s formed a strong bond with her, but I figured you’d still want to see her since it’s been so long." Right, that wasn't too surprising. Back when Shiro went missing for a few months after a nasty fight with Zarkon, there had been a similar arrangement. Only this time the arrangement was permanent, and Keith was the extra Paladin they no longer needed. "Anyway, I’m going to let you do your own thing until Allura calls you in for a debriefing, but that leads me to the last thing I have to tell you. You can go anywhere in the Castle, but the holodeck and its hangar are off-limits at the moment. It’s… a long story, but Allura currently has it under examination for any information we can get on Lotor. He was staying in the Castle for a bit, under Allura’s trust, but he backstabbed the alliance for power. He left a lot of belongings behind in there, so just make sure to steer clear of it for now.”

Keith nodded, not feeling too overwhelmed with all that Shiro had shared so far. He knew that Shiro was doing it on purpose to go easy on him, and Keith was grateful for it.

Shiro turned to leave but hesitated. Keith waited patiently for what he knew was coming.

“Welcome back, Keith. We all missed you a lot. I missed you a lot. It took me a long time to be a true leader again, and even then, I always knew a part of me was still missing. Now that you’re back, I finally feel like we can win this.”

Shiro was still blinded by responsibility, but Keith recognized Shiro’s words for what he wanted them to be. He still viewed Keith as family, as somebody he needed in his life to get through this hardship- even with the evident gap between them.

Shiro took in Keith’s appearance, unasked questions hanging in the air between them, but he kept them to himself for Keith’s benefit, and left him alone in the hallway with his thoughts.

Keith ran through all of the important things he had learned already in his head.

Lance was now the Red Paladin. Not really surprising when Keith considered the trust he put into their friendship before he left. Red probably latched onto that emotion and made whatever decision she thought would keep Voltron afloat. It was the right decision, evidently.

Lotor was Voltron’s biggest enemy now, and that was something Keith actually wasn’t surprised to learn. What he and his mother had discovered in the vessel was proof that Lotor had been scheming all along, but that was a matter he would face when the debriefing took place.

Two years had gone by for his team. Even if their outer appearances hadn’t changed too drastically, Keith couldn’t even imagine how many internal wounds they were carrying. Thinking back to how many battles could happen in one week alone, Keith couldn’t bring himself to estimate how many two years would hold.

For now, Keith was still welcome, and the team believed it was truly him- sans Lance of course- and he still held his position in the war.

The final thing that Keith was having a hard time convincing himself of was whether or not this was all just a dream. If maybe he was hit with a particularly strong solar flare and he was still experiencing a super realistic glimpse into the future.

An overstimulating presence washed over Keith just as he was pushing himself directly into a meltdown with his thoughts; changed but still familiar.

Red.

She had been waiting patiently for his arrival, if her already glowing eyes and resting position were anything to go off of. He could easily lift a hand to her snout with the way she rested her head on the floor. The cool metal against his fingers was the most real thing he’d felt since returning to the Castle-Ship.

“Thanks for the warm welcome, I kind of expected you had forgotten about me.” He whispered to her and the otherwise empty room. She made a sound similar to a snort.

“Listen,” he started, “I know that’d it’d probably be easy for you to get in my head and catch me up with everything, or even show me things I’ve missed, but… I don’t think I’m ready for that just yet. I think I’d only feel more distant from the team if I didn’t get to hear about their experiences in their own words. I think the right way to go about this is to ask them myself.”

Red’s eyes glowed vibrantly, and Keith could make out sentences in his head that weren’t directly put there through words. It was a feeling as to what Red was thinking in response.

You have learned so much from your mother in such a small amount of time. Be proud of how much you have matured, my Paladin.

“So, you already know she’s here. I’ll have to introduce you, she’s almost as stubborn as you.” He joked, but his sadness didn’t get past her.

You are upset. What is wrong?

He thought back to what she said before, and she caught on before he could even voice his worries.

Do not doubt that you will always be my Paladin. Just as the warrior who fought before you will always be. Being piloted by the once Blue Paladin does not change that. You are my Paladin just as he is.

Keith nodded, and he could physically feel her satisfaction wash over him once she knew he genuinely believed her sentiment.

“How is he? He seemed…guarded when I got here. He wouldn’t even come to see me. I mean, I get it, but he’s usually the least cautious person on the team. I guess I just didn’t expect it from him.”

Red’s thoughts didn’t reach him for a few moments, but he still felt a warming reassurance from their contact. He guessed that whatever she wanted to tell him; she was thinking of the best way to word it for him.

I know you said you want to learn the Paladins’  journeys on your own accord, but I should warn you that it is going to be confusing; you will often come out of conversations feeling less satisfied than you did before you had them. But I must let you know, the Blue Paladin is not going to make this easy, so I need to implore you to keep trying. Please do not give up on him. The current warriors of Voltron are strong and feared by their enemies, but they are no longer connected in the ways they should be, and I fear it will be their downfall. You are the only one who can fix this, Paladin- you are the only entity that can pull this divided team back together. With your newfound empathy and understanding of others, I believe you can save your friends by stopping these misunderstandings from ruining their relationships with one another.

It was vague, to say the least, and probably a bit overdramatic if Keith was being honest. The team seemed to be doing fine, they’d gone two years together and came out successful, how divided could they be if they were still able to form Voltron?

One cannot identify a problem if they are tricked into thinking there is not one. Just because the team truly believes they share a bond does not mean that there are no cracks under the surface. A strong connection through friendship alone is not enough.

Keith was thinking then that he couldn’t handle solving a riddle on top of figuring out the puzzle that made up the years he had missed out on. He was just about to ask if she could be a bit more specific when Allura’s voice sounded through the intercom to Red’s hangar, letting him know that she was ready to debrief him. Red still caught on to the thoughts inside his head.

I am sorry that I cannot give you more than that, Paladin, but it was per your wishes that you figure this out on your own. I feel that maybe the search for your answers is what will bring about the salvation of your team. So long as you do not give up, you cannot fail. Please, do not forget yourself in the process.

After leaving to head to his debriefing, Keith decided that Red was correct when she told him that he may come out of conversations feeling less satisfied than before.

Mostly because he didn’t believe he could be the only person to fix a team he was no longer a part of; a team he hadn’t been a part of for a long time, apparently.

Krolia was already in the Bridge when Keith arrived. Allura, Shiro, and Coran were at the center of the room, standing under the screen that Kolivan appeared on. Pidge and Hunk were in their respective chairs, and Lance was unsurprisingly absent. Keith wondered how long he could keep up his vanishing act. The Castle was large, but Lance couldn’t avoid his Paladin duties when they were mandatory.

“Alright,” Allura began, silencing the quiet murmuring in the room, “Are we ready to discuss what Keith and Krolia discovered on their mission and what our plans will be going forward now that they are part of the coalition again?”

Keith got comfortable in his old control seat that was empty at that moment thanks to Lance. “As ready as I could possibly be,” He muttered under his breath.

The first two hours were a whole lot of storytelling on Krolia’s part, and Keith jumped in occasionally with his own perspective on their travels through the Quantum Abyss. While it wasn’t an enticing conversation, it was important, as it could possibly be useful information in the future. The room went tensely silent when Krolia revealed that the Abyss altered time to a slow enough pace that only two months had passed for the both of them. It had probably been obvious to everyone with the way Keith looked like he hadn’t aged a day. Hearing it out loud and confirmed was still jarring for them, he assumed. He was just glad that they didn’t have to go on thinking he had died.

When his mother got to the point in the retelling where they had found what Lotor had hidden in the center of the Abyss, Keith focused back in on the conversation.

“So, we were able to make it to the center of the Quantum Abyss, with a lot of help from Kosmo, and found a planet that wasn’t affected by any of the solar flares. It was abandoned by the time we arrived, but we were able to uncover some answers after a bit of digging.” Krolia explained.

“Yes, we’ve discovered Lotor’s intentions regarding the planet. It’s where he held the last remaining Alteans under the guise that he was their protector. The problem we’ve been stuck on is where he’s been taking the Alteans in order to harvest their quintessence.” Allura worried at her lip between sentences. Keith tried not to focus on the nauseating feeling that threatened to drag him out of consciousness. He didn’t want to accept that he and Krolia’s mission had been pointless. “One of our more recent allies, Romelle, had managed to escape during the final transfer- one that was made before you two had reached the planet- and we found her broken-down ship floating through the Gamma Quadrant when we responded to her distress signal. She’s helped us as much as she can, but without a way to get back onto the planet, we haven’t been able to find any leads. We have no clue how he got in and out without being affected by the time warp, but we assume it’s because of the quintessence he’s been stealing and corrupting. We have yet to figure out how he creates it, or how to reverse it, and we concluded that it was too risky for us to traverse the Abyss ourselves.”

Krolia’s head snapped to Allura, and she spoke quickly, “I don’t mean to get your hopes up, Princess, but Keith and I brought back a lot of the tech and scraps that Lotor left behind. We used some to fix up our ship since it was damaged in the crash, but we brought back everything that was leftover. There might be something useful in the data.”

The energy in the room shifted after that. Allura finalized the debriefing and tasked Shiro, Keith, Krolia, and Hunk with bringing any and all technology from the ship into an area where Pidge and Coran would be able to begin analyzing. Hunk was given the job of taking apart the components of the ship that had previously belonged to Lotor after getting permission from Kolivan. The ship was scrapped within a few hours and the hopefulness everyone felt was nearly tangible.

Keith found that he wasn’t going to be of much use in their search, so he stayed behind in the Bridge, thoughts scrambling with the newfound silence until the door opened and his mother saved him from his clouded mind.

She stopped short of the front of his control seat. “Keith, I came to say my goodbye’s for now. Kolivan has requested me back with the Blade to help with some infiltration missions. Lotor and his army have yet to catch on to my identity, so I’ll be of use as a Galra on the inside.”

Keith stood quickly. “I’ll join you.” He hadn’t actually decided if that was a decision he wanted to make, but their departure felt so sudden. It was true that he had a lot of time to catch up with the two months they spent together in the Abyss, but his mother was the only other person who knew what it felt like to exist in a world where time was now ahead of them. She was strong and probably wasn’t panicking on the inside like Keith was, but it was hard for him to pretend this wasn’t difficult. He didn’t want to admit out loud that he needed her to get through this.

“You should stay, Keith. Your team still needs you, and Kolivan thinks that the Castle-Ship is where you should be right now. Get some closure, heal, and if you still want to return to the Blade of Marmora in the future, the doors are always open. Besides, this doesn’t mean we won’t be seeing each other anymore. Voltron and the alliance have been working closely with the Blade since our disappearance. We’ll probably be put on plenty of missions together in the future.”

Keith was frustrated and stubborn, but he also knew that she was right. He had his own missions he needed to carry out in the Castle-Ship, and he had to admit that he was relieved to hear that he still had a place within Voltron, even if it wasn’t as a pilot.

Keith hugged his mother softly, and it was the first hug he had initiated first since meeting her. “Be careful, keep in touch if you can, and just know that Red is going to be very upset when she finds out that you left before you two could meet.”

He could feel her body shake with laughter before she was pulling away and ruffling his hair aggressively. “Next time. That’s a promise I intend to keep.”

It was a promise that Keith would hold onto.

He couldn’t stand losing his mother a second time, especially when they’d just been reunited.

----------

Keith woke up the next morning, groggy and grumpy. It was a fitful sleep, and he woke up multiple times throughout the night due to nightmares that disguised themselves as flash-forwards. They were memories that Keith never experienced during his time in the Abyss, but they held the same bright lights, blurry vision, and quiet static that the solar flares did. He dreamed of a blood-filled future; a future where Voltron didn’t win the war, and a future where his family and friends fell to Lotor’s army.

He didn’t want to think about it. He was worried that he’d eventually start to mistake his nightmare memories with his real ones.

Instead, he stumbled out of his messy bed, threw on his jacket out of habit, and headed to the kitchen for breakfast.

Running into Shiro was grounding and disorienting all the same. He was eating a bowl of goo while standing in the same spot he always did, hip resting against a table while he scrolled through a tablet. It was a familiar sight to Keith, but Shiro’s full head of white hair and upgraded prosthetic arm were what reminded him of everything that’s happened.

Shiro tensed at the sound of Keith’s entrance, but then he was smiling. “Good morning! Maintenance on the training deck is finished if you were looking to practice at all today. I’ve got some files to look for with Allura, but I may join you later.”

Keith nodded, shuffled over to the goo dispenser, and shivered in disgust at the sound it made when it hit the bottom of his bowl. “Have you seen Kosmo? He hasn’t been around since you took me to Red’s hangar yesterday.”

He was met with Shiro’s knowing smirk when he turned back around and joined him to stand at the table.

“What?” Keith asked expectantly.

“Kosmo’s taken a liking to Lance, it seems. The few times I’ve seen them, Kosmo has been glued to his side. You may have some competition.”

Keith shrugged, trying to seem indifferent. Deep down he was irked that Lance had yet to show his face to him but had gotten comfortable with Kosmo in under twenty-four hours. It was one thing to not trust Keith, but he didn’t have to avoid him.

“It’s fine, so long as he knows to feed him,” Is all Keith managed to say.

----------

The training deck was exactly where Keith needed to go. His head had felt filled with too many thoughts the night before, and sleeping hadn’t helped one bit. He may have gotten better at handling emotions while with his mother, but that didn’t mean he had gotten better at avoiding his own. Throwing himself into training instead was muscle memory.

The first thing he noticed as he approached the training deck doors was the noise. Somebody was already inside, and he knew as much when he made his silent entrance. Seeing Kosmo sitting happily by the wall meant that Lance was probably the one fighting a bot in the center of the room. His back was to Keith, and while Keith recognized his lanky form, the sword was what threw him off.

Lance was fighting with a broadsword.

It was… surprising. Impressive. Keith never thought he’d witness Lance use anything but a gun since it was his best skill, but the swordsmanship Lance used was jarring for Keith. Keith guessed that the bot was set to level ten, and yet it was nothing against the talent Lance was showing. It allowed his moves to appear more for show than actual combat.

The blade twisted and spun in Lance’s grip faster than Keith could even follow.

It was mesmerizing, almost like a performance or dance, and Keith didn’t realize he’d been pressing forward for a better look until his foot had knocked over a water pouch that had been set on the floor.

One second, Lance was bringing his weapon down on the bot and destroying it in one quick motion, the next he’d spun in the opposite direction he was facing before. Keith couldn’t even prepare for the sword to stop short of his throat, the tip resting on his collarbone but not piercing the skin there. He couldn’t even bring himself to be angry or upset. He was too busy trying to figure out how Lance had gotten to him so quickly.

“Don’t test my restraint, Keith,” Lance muttered as if he’d genuinely been seconds away from cutting Keith’s throat. “You can enjoy your time here while the rest of the team trusts you, but once I figure out your intentions, this little charade is over. You’re done.”

All Keith could focus on were Lance’s eyes, glaring and intense. He was being serious.

“I-“ Keith started, but Lance was quick to cut him off, lifting his sword from where it sat at his collarbone and pressing it to the underside of his chin- preventing Keith from opening his mouth to speak.

“That wasn’t an invitation for you to talk to me.” Suddenly, Lance’s broadsword was transforming back into its original form as the Red Bayard. “End training sequence twelve!” He shouted into the heavy air of the training deck.

He was out of the room before Keith could even think of a way to stop him.

----------

After some training, a shower, and eating lunch, Keith decided that he probably couldn’t go any longer avoiding his problems. Which meant that Lance was going to have to talk to him whether he liked it or not. Earlier that morning, Allura had made an announcement over the intercoms to let the team know that they’d be having a meeting in the bridge for a status update on their current tasks. It was a mandatory meeting, which meant Lance had no choice but to be there, and Allura made sure to let Keith know that it applied to him as well.

Now that everyone was going to be in the room, Keith was unsure of where he was allowed to sit. He stood off to the side for a few moments while everybody was filing in. Shiro smiled warmly at him, and Keith was reminded of how grateful he should be that Shiro was trying so hard to make him feel welcome.

Hunk and Pidge settled into their usual seats and immediately started a quiet conversation about whatever Pidge was tinkering with. Keith thought he could see them holding a piece of the technology that was brought back from the Colony Planet.

Allura and Coran were situated in the middle of the room, waiting patiently but they were obviously stressed. Keith was irked that he didn’t know what missions they were working on outside of the one involving Lotor. He wanted to be able to help, but he also didn’t want his disadvantages to getting in the way of it.

The door opened a final time, and Keith held his breath despite knowing it would be Lance. He wasn’t in his armor anymore and his hair was still damp from a shower, but he had still made it to the meeting on time. Kosmo was quick to leave Keith’s side and join Lance at his seat. Lance’s mood did a one-eighty when Kosmo shoved his head into Lance’s hands for pets.

“Traitor,” Keith muttered.

Allura quickly noticed Keith’s chair dilemma and looked at Lance. “Lance, why don’t you move back to the Blue controls? I don’t sit there often anyway and I’m sure Keith would feel a lot more comfortable being in a familiar spot.”

If Lance was annoyed by this, he didn’t express so. He stood slowly, passed Keith as if he didn’t exist, and stopped abruptly in his path when Keith stepped in front of him.

“You must know that you have to let me talk to you eventually. We can’t function as a team if you pretend I’m not even here,” Keith spoke with determination laced in his words. He wanted to get across that he wasn’t going to stop trying.

“My team functions just fine, something you’d know if you were part of it,” Lance spat back just as stubbornly.

“I am! Was,” Keith corrected himself. “Just because you’re all older now doesn’t mean that I’ve lost the right to say that I know you guys. Hunk and Pidge are still friendly and distracted by their work, Allura and Coran are still quick to trust and welcome others, Shiro is still kind and driven by his responsibilities, and you, Lance, still can’t ignore a jab if it’s directed at you or the people you care about- no matter how hard you’re trying to not speak to me right now.” Keith turned to see that everyone else was watching, and he couldn’t blame them. They were interrupting the meeting, and they definitely weren’t being quiet about it. Nobody seemed to want to interrupt their argument though, and Keith hoped they wanted the two to work through their disagreements as much as he did.

Lance’s irked expression didn’t falter. He also seemed to notice that the others were listening, but just didn’t care.

“You knew us before we almost lost everything to the hands of Zarkon. Before we became strong enough to get rid of him for good. And before we had to mourn the death of a friend who was constantly putting himself in danger without considering the fact that the rest of us might worry about him- or, I don’t know, fall apart if anything were to happen to him! Excuse me if I can’t just forget two years of grieving like everyone else can!” Lance shouted then, throwing his hands in the air at nothing in particular but making Keith take a step back reflexively anyway. Lance’s features turned passive again; not calm but also surprisingly blocked off despite how angry he seemed seconds earlier. “You don’t get it, Keith. It doesn’t matter to me whether the Galra Empire is behind your reappearance or not, and I don’t care if you have every intention to return things to the way they used to be. I’m still mad at you, and I’m still not going to trust you. You put missions before your own team, that’s unforgivable to me.”

Keith was at a loss for words, but it didn’t matter because Lance was already done with his rant and headed to his chair.

Keith slumped into his old spot at the Red control seat. Not even Kosmo’s sudden sense of loyalty at his side could brighten his mood after that conversation. Pidge perked up though, seemingly unaffected by the aggression still hanging in the air, which is something that the new and improved Keith could actually catch on to. Two years ago, Pidge would have gone quiet at the sound of arguing. Probably because their family didn’t do much fighting, so it wasn’t something they were used to experiencing.

“Lance isn’t entirely wrong- no offense Keith,” Pidge added quickly once they caught sight of Keith sending a look of betrayal in their direction. “We know that this Keith has information that nobody else could have known, but it’s entirely possible he could be connected to The Empire. We already faced the entire situation with Shiro’s clone, so who’s to say that Haggar or Lotor wasn’t able to salvage some of the pods- or even create new ones? Shiro’s clone wasn’t even aware of his role until Haggar took control and-“

Keith had to cut off Pidge’s rambling before things could get any more confusing. “Hold on, can somebody please give me context? Shiro was cloned?”

“Depends. What do you know about cloning, Keith?” Lance spoke up. His head was still facing endless space through the window next to him, but apparently, he could stop pretending like he wasn’t paying attention long enough to throw an accusation Keith’s way.

“Well, I wouldn’t have asked for context if I knew anything, would I?” Keith snapped back.

“Alright, enough of that,” Shiro stepped in sternly, and Keith could respect him for it. Quipping back and forth with Lance wasn’t going to get them anywhere. Keith untensed his muscles and sat back in his chair. “We can’t be certain that Keith is or isn’t a clone unless Haggar takes control of him, but the good news is that we’ve dealt with one before, and we already suspect him of it, so Haggar or Lotor wouldn’t be able to get the upper hand regardless. Personally, I think that we’re right to trust Keith. He helped us by providing tech that could potentially give us a lead on Lotor, and if The Empire hypothetically has made another clone, it just doesn’t line up with the events that have happened.”

Hunk was quick to jump to Keith’s defense once he knew what Shiro was onto. He also visibly noticed and anxiously ignored the glare that Lance gave him. “I agree with Shiro! If cloning Keith was part of their plan, they wouldn’t have waited so long to send him here. We’ve thought he was… dead… this whole time, so they probably could have guessed that we wouldn’t trust him or let him in on our plans.”

“Unless that’s exactly what they’re trying to find out right now and we are willingly letting them spy on us as we speak while they use him as a listening device,” Lance added unenthusiastically. If he truly seemed to think that was the case, he didn’t appear to want to do anything about it. Keith guessed that he knew Shiro would step in if he tried. Thank the gods for Shiro.

“Are we all forgetting that he arrived here with his mother, Krolia, who the Galra have no clue is a member of the Blade of Marmora, as well as a random space dog?” Allura cut in, clearly tired of everyone’s back and forth. “For goodness sake, they flew in on the very ship they went missing with! I told Hunk to check the stats, that ship has only used up two months’ worth of supplies and Quintessence. What about this- this unproven theory is making more sense to you people than Keith’s logical story? We are trying to save what’s left of the Altean race, and that’s what this meeting is about! If Keith truly is a spy, we will cross that bridge when we come to it, but right now, I think this is a bit more important. I am asking as politely as I can that we put our trust in Keith for now and use what information he’s provided to find a lead on the actual enemy here. Thank you.”

The team went silent. The never-ending hum of the Castle-Ship’s machinery was the only sound that could be heard for a long minute.

Keith was surprised. Surprised, but grateful and appreciative, and he never wanted to hug Allura more than he did at that moment! He wanted to be able to help the team with their missions just as much as he wanted to fix his relationships with them, and he was so glad that Allura was willing to let him help- enthusiastic too, even. Saying that Allura was still trusting and welcoming was an understatement. Keith couldn’t even believe that this was the same person who lost all faith in him when he found out he was half Galra. Forming an alliance with hundreds of devoted Galra who wanted nothing more than to end The Empire’s ruling must have changed something in her.

Keith mouthed his appreciation to her with the words, “Thank you,” so that she’d be the only one to notice. She nodded in his direction as a genuine smile graced her lips.

Pidge was the one to start a new conversation. After the direction the last one went in, they may have felt guilty for being the one to start it. “So, this specific piece of the communicator we have should hold different IPs, but it’s particularly hard to crack the codes. Lotor really didn’t want anybody hacking his tech- I don’t think any of these inconsistencies even have a logical pattern. Anyway, I’m still working on that, but there’s good news!” They shouted excitedly, and then produced a wrinkled piece of scrap paper from their hoodie pocket. “These,” They pointed to the scribbled numbers on the front, “are coordinates. Coordinates that probably aren’t too important considering Lotor didn’t bother to hide them in code, but coordinates, nonetheless. Lotor must have left a trace there, and it could give us another lead!”

Everyone in the room dramatically shared their relief at the news. It was a start, which, from what Keith has gathered, was something they’ve seemed to be struggling with for a while.

“That’s great, amazing work, Pidge,” Allura thanked them and urged Coran to copy the coordinates into the ship’s current trajectory.

“On it, Princess!” Coran exclaimed. The earlier drama obviously hadn’t affected his usual chipper attitude. Keith understood now why Lance must have taken a liking to him early on; they used to have pretty similar personalities. He wondered if that was still the case now. Lance seemed to have lost a lot of his spark.

Allura turned to Lance next. “Lance, you volunteered to take over for Shiro to spearhead the rescue of the alien prisoners left behind on the last planet we encountered. Have you been able to formulate any plans for bypassing the security?”

Lance let his head fall heavily to the side, so he was facing Allura. It seemed dramatic, as if Lance wanted everyone to know how annoyed he was with this meeting. Keith thought to himself that he looked tired. “I approved the commencement earlier this morning. The team was provided as many weapons and ships as we could spare, but I asked Pidge and Hunk to begin the plans for the Olkari to help with building new transportation. The fighters I sent in are being accompanied by some technicians, who were ordered to stay in the ship until security is cleared out. Hopefully, they can bring back enough useful scrap for the Olkari to get started on building.”

Hunk nodded in confirmation. “I already rounded up some Balmeran’s on the ship who are going to help carry in any materials. Lance let us know that the estimated time of return is around two quintants, so if Pidge’s calculations are correct, we should have approximately double the current count of ships and weapons on board by the time the next Galra attack is planned for. That doesn’t include what we might find on the market planet we’ll be passing by.”

Allura seemed pleased at this, and Shiro turned to speak directly to her. “Maybe we can send Keith down to help with that? He already knows what to look for,” Shiro suggested.

“That’s true. It seems that it’s still on the route now that we’ve changed course to the new coordinates, so we should arrive sometime within the next quintant. Hunk and Lance are the only two we’re sending in at the moment, but I’m sure adding Keith won’t raise too much suspicion. It’ll save us time as well. What do you think, Keith?” She asked.

“Um, sure,” was all Keith could think to say. Truthfully, he really wanted to help, but there was no way Lance wasn’t going to have something to say about it. Keith watched the back of Lance’s head carefully to see if he was planning on reacting, but he only stared silently out the window, his cheek resting against his fist as he slouched in his spot.

They proceeded to discuss things that left Keith feeling confused and frustrated. They named at least four different alien species that Keith didn’t even know existed, and brought up places, people, and objects that he had no clue about. Lance only complained twice when Keith had to constantly ask for an explanation or a quick summary about what they meant. Nobody else seemed too bothered at having to explain. Coran stepped up for most of it, turning it into a theatrical story or dramatizing everything in a way that left Keith suspecting that only half of the things he said were true.

He kind of preferred when Coran shared though. A lot of what Keith had to be caught up on was everyday, common tasks that weren’t super exciting, so he couldn’t imagine how everyone felt having to revisit such insignificant parts of their lives. Coran always seemed excited to share, no matter how uneventful a story was.

Eventually, everyone ran out of things to share with each other, and Keith no longer felt horribly confused. He had developed a massive headache, but he thought he had a good handle on what he was given. Shiro stood to face the team, and Keith noticed that he and Allura seemed to form a co-leadership for Voltron now. While Allura used to cover matters that involved the ship itself, her joining them as the Blue Paladin must have changed their dynamic. Her and Shiro were both equally as involved in matters of both the Castle-Ship and the Lions.

“Alright guys, you can enjoy some free time, but don’t forget to reassemble for dinner. We’ve got group training afterward, so I expect you all to find your energy before then. You all look like you’re about to nap in your seats.” Shiro joked, and it was refreshing for Keith to hear. It wasn’t often that Shiro was lighthearted about anything.

As everyone began filing out, Keith urged Kosmo to go off on his own for a bit. He wasn’t surprised when the dog followed Lance out of the room. Keith hurried to stop Shiro before he could leave.

“Hey, could I talk to you really quick?” Keith asked, “It’s just, nobody really brought up the clone thing again, so I thought I’d ask you myself. Only if you’re comfortable, of course.” He hoped that his fidgeting hands weren’t super obvious to Shiro. Keith never really got the hang of having serious conversations, no matter how many he had to have with his mom while they were stuck in the Abyss. He could at least say with certainty that he was better at talking to others about their feelings than he was talking about his own.

Shiro seemed wary, but he must have known how important it was for Keith to know. “Sure, it’s quite a long story, so you might want to join me in the dining room. It’ll probably be time for dinner by the time we’re finished.”

It was nearly the end of dinner by the time Shiro had explained the entire story to Keith. It was a slow retelling, considering how hard it was for Shiro to relive everything that happened. From his soul being trapped in the Black Lion, to not being able to do anything as he watched his clone verbally and physically hurt the team, Shiro understandably had a hard time getting through certain parts. Keith was patient with him. He tried to imagine himself in Shiro’s place, how guilty he’d feel, and how scary it must have been thinking that he’d be stuck in the Black Lion’s conscience forever, trapped between life and death. Keith could physically feel himself relax his muscles when Shiro told him about his revival, and how Allura was able to transfer him back into his body. The full head of white hair suddenly made sense, as well as why everybody would be cautious of Keith being a possible clone. The Empire had gotten so much information out of Shiro’s clone, down to their exact locations and battle plans. They’ve gotten so far since then and losing all of it to another of The Empire’s clones would be detrimental.

Keith had to cycle through his questions, making sure that he asked only the most important ones. He could fill in the rest using context clues. It gave Shiro time to eat his food, and Keith felt guilty for distracting him so much.

“So, you’re okay now though, right? Nothing went wrong with the transfer?” Keith decided on asking.

“I’m fine. Thank you for asking. It happened a long time ago now, and none of the team holds any hard feelings towards me. Apparently, my clone had been really aggressive, especially to Lance. I’ve tried apologizing but none of them will let me.”

Keith tilted his head so he could see towards the end of the large table. The team had given the two space so they could talk in private. Keith could see Lance from where he was sitting. He was pushing his plate of leftovers in front of Pidge, who had cleared their plate within the first few minutes of entering the room, probably too excited to get back to whatever they were looking at on their laptop. They looked away from the screen long enough to finish Lance’s food for him. Lance watched them eat the whole time even though they didn’t seem to notice, and Keith felt his heart clench for more reasons than one.

“Why Lance in particular? Do you know?” Keith asked, completely forgetting that he had other questions he wanted to ask Shiro.

Shiro thought about it for a few moments while Keith continued to watch the rest of the team. The dining room had been filled with lots of tables since the last time Keith had seen it, and some other alliance members had joined them to eat. The original Voltron team still sat together at the same table as always, which was a comfort to Keith, who wasn’t used to the quiet murmur of voices throughout the room. The Castle-Ship had never felt so lived in. He couldn’t decide if he liked it or not.

“If I had to guess, it was probably because it happened when Lance was still a bit witty and sarcastic- always quick to jump in on conversations. He’s always had a good sense of danger and had even mentioned a few times to the team that something had seemed off about me. I guess my clone was starting to panic and needed to get Lance off his trail. I can’t remember all that was said, but Lance has been nothing but nice to me about the entire situation. He doesn’t blame me whatsoever. I still feel bad though.”

Lance actually caught Keith watching them from the other end of the table. He stared back, almost as a challenge, until Keith grew embarrassed for seeming nosy and had to look back at Shiro, who sat across from him at the table. “Do you think it’s why he’s gotten so standoffish?” Keith decided to ask.

Shiro was quick to shake his head. “It took Lance a long time to grow into who he is today. We’ve all changed in our own ways, but he’s been through a lot, put himself through a lot even, and he’s had to adapt because of it. The rest of the team hasn’t discussed it much, but we think he may have blamed himself for what happened to you, or felt he needed to live up to your skills as the Red Paladin. Not long after you left, he threw himself into training and missions, we’d never seen him so determined. It has led to a lot of mishaps, which aren’t my place to share, but despite everything, parts of him are still the same old Lance. He probably doesn’t want to show it to you, but he’s very protective of the team, and still knows how to joke when it’s needed to lighten the mood. He’s also just as stubborn and knows when to take risks,” Shiro was speaking fondly of Lance now, and Keith couldn’t stop himself from feeling his jealousy. Shiro was describing a completely different person from what Keith had witnessed of Lance since being back. “Lance is smart, smarter than we’ve probably given him credit for, but it’s hard to when he’s also been distant. He’s always around and taking care of us when we need it, but he’s never around when we don’t. I think he’s just grown to prefer being by himself.”

“Impossible,” Keith responded quickly, referring to the last part of Shiro’s theory, “Lance hates being alone.”

“Well, we don’t know what else to do about it. We’ve tried reaching out, but he won’t reciprocate. Hunk has been trying his best, but Lance seems to disappear when he goes off on his own. You can’t find him unless he wants to be found.”

Keith tucked that information away in his mind for later and focused back in on his food while he rerouted to their original topic.

“So, Hunk blew up what was left of the cloning tech?” He asked lightheartedly, and Shiro laughed before going into further detail about it. It was a conversation filled with jokes and laughs, but Keith couldn’t bring himself to stop focusing on just how scary it all must have been.

Shiro was always there to help everyone, making sure their missions are safe enough to go through with and getting them out of tough situations. Part of Keith hated himself for not being there to help Shiro when he truly needed it.

----------

Being on the training deck with the entire team again made Keith feel like he was experiencing whiplash. It was familiar and yet not. Watching the others warm-up was the reality check.

Allura had apparently joined them for training regularly when she officially became the Blue Paladin. The Blue Bayard took shape of a whip while in her control, which she was practicing with against a bot. Lance was honing his ability to quickly switch from his gun to his broadsword, then back again. Pidge had explained to Keith that it took up a lot more energy than expected as they passed by him to get a water pouch. They proceeded to tell him that all of the Paladins have been practicing unlocking their own secondary weapons. So far, Hunk had been the only one to succeed, and his Bayard was able to take the form of a force field that reflected any damage it received. Unfortunately, he could only get it to work when faced with seriously dangerous situations.

Keith realized quickly that he stood out in more ways than one.

Not only was he less experienced and lacked a Bayard, but he was unsure of Voltron’s new training regimens. Everyone seemed to have a place and a task, or something they needed to work on. Keith was completely lost.

Luckily, Shiro swooped in to save the day once again, considering Allura was deep in focus. She didn’t have a lot of combat experience prior to becoming a Paladin, so she had a lot of catching up to do, but it was obvious how much that all had paid off. She was precise and agile with her weapon, and Keith could already tell he wouldn’t be able to win if they were to face off against each other.

“Keith, I think this should belong to you,” Shiro held the Black Bayard out to him, and continued talking when Keith went to reject his offer, “I use my arm for most combat anyway. Pidge has made a lot of improvements, so it’s basically like having a Bayard attached to my body at all times anyway. I know you have your sword from the Blade of Marmora, but you’re still a Paladin and I know you’ve always preferred a Bayard.” Shiro seemed to notice Keith’s armor at that point, which was the armor he had received from the Blade of Marmora as well. “Also, the Red Paladin armor is still up for grabs if you’re comfortable with that. Nobody has used it since… and Lance refused to switch, so Allura has her own armor.”

It was a bit confusing; Shiro being the Black Paladin without a Bayard, Lance being the Red Paladin but with Blue Paladin Armor, and Keith being… not a Paladin but using the Black Bayard. It was different, but it worked.

The Black Bayard didn’t take long to transform into Keith’s usual sword, and he hadn’t realized how much he missed it until he was slicing through bots faster than he ever could with the sword his mom passed down to him. He liked to think that he just couldn’t bring himself to use its full potential, since it’s always meant so much to him. It means something different now, now that he knows his mother is actually alive, but he still wanted to cherish it just the same.

“Okay everyone, now that maintenance is finished on the maze, let’s do some teamwork exercises,” Shiro spoke, indicating that warm-ups were over, “Keith, we’ve made some changes to the way we practice with the maze so that it’s easier for Pidge’s dyslexia. We’ve found that it’s more realistic to have two people on the inside; one with a blindfold and the other with a map, that way they’re going through together and there’s no confusion with directions. The only rule is that the one with the blindfold has to lead the way, and it’s a bit harder for the person with the map now that they don’t have a full overview of the maze from above. We’ve found that this method is good for improving reflexes and trust. So, Lance! You’re blind, Keith has the map!”

Keith had to hold back his satisfaction at Lance’s obvious annoyance.

“Don’t think I’m not gonna assume that was on purpose, Shiro,” Lance murmured as he snatched the blindfold from Shiro’s hand. He tied it around his eyes once he made it to the center of the box where the maze would generate.

“Are you sure about this?” Keith whispered to Shiro.

Shiro nodded. “He’s just being stubborn. He’s going to have to work beside you again eventually, might as well get him used to it now.”

Shiro had a point. Besides, a simple maze exercise wasn’t going to kill Lance, no matter how dramatic he was going to be about it.

Keith joined Lance at the center of the box, stood directly behind him, and making enough noise so that Lance would know he was coming. Keith was careful not to touch him or get too close. He didn’t want to give Lance another thing to start an argument about.

Once Pidge sent the map through to Keith’s communication device, the walls around them activated. Keith remembered them to be further apart, leaving for a wider passage, but they must have changed it to keep things challenging.

Lance let out a sigh and stood stiffly, making sure to keep his arms close to his sides. “Let’s get this over with.”

Keith nodded, remembered that Lance couldn’t see him, then responded with a quick, “Sure.”

From what Keith could make out from the blinking dots on his map, there was a wall directly behind him, meaning that the only way to go first was forward. He needed to be very careful to not make any mistakes, or else they’d be in a dead-end and the only way out would be to walk backward. Keith also reminded himself that he wasn’t allowed to lead at any point. So, he couldn’t push Lance in any direction or take a step that Lance hadn’t already taken. He could already guess how much of a disaster it was going to be.

“Alright, uh… take four steps forwards,” Keith started.

“Don’t sound too sure,” Lance responded sarcastically but began moving forward anyway.

Keith noticed the dots on the map approaching the line ahead of them faster than he had thought they would. “Stop!” He shouted quickly, nearly grabbing Lance’s wrist as a reflex. He stopped himself just in time, not wanting to deal with whatever Lance would’ve had to say about it and also wanting to last more than just five seconds in the maze without getting disqualified.

Luckily, Lance’s reaction time had always been one of his best skills. He didn’t even let himself take another step, opting to stop mid-pace and falling back on his heels. His back bumped Keith’s shoulder, pushing him backward, and he nearly couldn’t stop himself from falling into the wall beside him. “Careful,” Keith hissed, and Lance’s laugh only managed to bother him more.

“Maybe you should tell yourself that,” Lance suggested.

“It’s not my fault you have freakishly long legs,” Keith fired back.

“I’ll use these freakishly long legs to curb stomp your head if you don’t-“

“Focus on the task, guys.” Shiro’s voice sounded through the intercom from his spot in the viewing room. Keith thought he could make out Hunk and Pidge laughing behind the glass, and he was glad somebody found amusement in him and Lance’s stupid arguing.

“Right,” Keith mumbled, looking back to his device. The dots were at an intersection now, where they could either go left or right. Lance was growing visibly impatient, so instead of solving the maze beforehand, Keith just chose the direction that the exit was on the map. Not a great strategy, he would admit, but it didn’t matter if they made it out, so long as they were able to communicate enough to try. “Turn to your right, but don’t walk yet. I don’t want you to clip the edge of the wall with your shoulder.”

Lance turned but always seemed to have something to say back to Keith. “Is that a jab at my broad shoulders now? Have any more terrible insults for me?”

“It’s not an insult! I just don’t want you to get hurt, idiot. Just- let me make sure we’re far enough over before you keep walking.”

They managed to make it to another intersection before Keith suddenly realized that they should have gone left originally. Anywhere they turned now would only lead to a dead-end. Keith stayed quiet for a few moments, enjoying the silence before he was going to have to tell Lance that he had sent them in the wrong direction.

“You’re quiet, why are you quiet?” Lance asked, and then he was throwing his hands up in frustration. “This isn’t the right way, is it? You read the map wrong!”

“Careful!” Keith shot his hand out to grab Lance’s wrist and place it carefully back at his side. “You’re gonna hit the wall if you keep moving around like that.”

Lance obviously didn’t seem to care anymore, already running out of what little patience he had for ‘Keith and Lance bonding time’. “I don’t care, Keith! I would rather hit the wall and be done with this than try and navigate for another second. Just- let me-“

Lance was close to purposely bumping into the wall beside him, but Keith was quick to stop him. He refused to let everything go to waste when they had already proved the be good at working together, it was just the communicating they needed to get better at. The thing was, Keith was good at explaining things in a way Lance could understand, and Lance was good at accounting for Keith’s movements from behind him, so it’s not that they had bad teamwork. They just couldn’t go one minute without starting another argument.

“Lance, please-“ Keith was fumbling to hold Lance’s arms at his sides, and he could only imagine what they looked like from an outside perspective. Probably like a schoolteacher trying to calm down a fussy toddler. “I don’t like fighting with you, can we please just finish this and-“ Except Lance obviously didn’t want to finish anymore. He went to kick his leg out at the wall the was now in front of him, and in his attempt to stop him, Keith tripped over his own feet and fell towards the wall instead. He swiftly let go of Lance to throw his hands out and catch himself.

Soon enough, he could feel the shock of the electric current running through his veins, but Keith didn’t remember it being this painful, or numbing. He cried out in pain, but instead of the quick yelp and annoyance that usually came after being shocked by the maze, Keith was shouting, and cursing, and falling onto his side as soon as the walls were deactivated.

Keith thought he could hear Lance’s voice somewhere in front of him, but all he could focus on was the loud buzzing in his ears. He felt like the air had been stolen from his lungs, and he clutched his arms to his body in an attempt to make himself smaller.

“Give- space. -safe to… medical.”

Keith could make out Shiro’s voice, but reality was drifting in and out so he could only catch snippets of everyone’s sentences.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t- I didn’t know, I swear!”

“It’s okay, Lance… be- Coran will… he’ll be fine.”

“I know but… I- I was being dumb… should’ve just-… wouldn’t have happened.”

Keith could feel himself being lifted and carried, and he wanted nothing more than to stay awake so that his friends wouldn’t worry about him, but he could feel his energy draining fast, and the thought of a nap sounded too good to pass up.

The last thing he could remember thinking was that he needed to tell Lance that it wasn’t his fault.

Chapter Text

Keith regained consciousness early the next morning, and he suspected that he had been sleeping most of the time because he could remember waking up throughout the night whenever somebody would come through the med room doors. 

He specifically remembered a conversation between Shiro and Coran. They had been talking about the maintenance that was done on the maze and how some mistakes were made in the programming. That explained why the electric current was enough to knock Keith out.

Keith hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the part of the conversation where Coran had said that if anybody had touched the maze walls while wearing Paladin armor, they probably would have been worse off- something about the electricity getting trapped in the armors wiring and basically microwaving whoever was inside it. Keith tried not to remember how close Lance had been to doing exactly that.

He also thought back to what he could remember of the clipped words from right after the incident. The worry in Lance’s voice had Keith feeling heartbroken. He didn’t want Lance to blame himself for what happened, because Keith definitely didn’t blame him whatsoever. He just couldn’t forget the guilt and sadness he could hear in Lance’s words.

When Keith was finally filled with enough energy to push himself up in bed, he looked at the empty room in front of him. There were signs of people having been there not too long ago; a half-eaten bowl of breakfast left on one of the tables, some of Pidge’s abandoned tech scraps on the floor, and an unopened water pouch placed beside Keith’s legs.

He took it gratefully and drank until his throat no longer felt like he had swallowed sandpaper, then finished it off as he dragged himself out of the bed, just to have something to fill his empty stomach.

Making it to the doorway and out into the hallway proved to be a trickier task than Keith first assumed it would be. It allowed him to test the strength of his legs, but he quickly realized that the distant feeling of numbness wasn’t going to go away anytime soon. Walking felt awkward, like what trying to run in a dream felt like. His legs moved slower than he wanted them to, but he could stand, and that was good enough for him.

The halls were empty save for a few random aliens that Keith didn’t recognize. He got a few strange stares, probably because of the way he leaned his right arm against the wall for support- or maybe it was the loose white shirt and pants he was wearing, indicating that he had just left medical. Either way, it didn’t bother him much. His current mission was to find somebody from the team who could catch him up on what happened while he was out.

Amongst the deep-rooted numbness and buzzing Keith still felt, he faintly recognized Red’s Soul reaching out to him- not to speak to him but to make him aware of her presence. He was grateful for it and paused to let what little energy she could give him settle into his senses.

He didn’t realize it was also a signal until Lance was rushing around the corner and down the hall towards him. He looked pissed, and Keith couldn’t begin to imagine what he had done wrong this time.

“Lance,” Keith said, sort of as a greeting but sort of as a question. Lance gripped Keith’s arm that he wasn’t using to lean against the wall, and swiftly pulled it across his shoulders to support Keith’s weight. Keith wasn’t expecting it, so he nearly fell forward and brought them both down with him, but Lance was quick to correct his balance.

“What the hell are you doing, Keith? You obviously aren’t strong enough to walk yet, don’t be stupid,” Lance scolded, and Keith wasn’t sure how he felt about Lance babying him. Once he realized that Lance was leading him back to the medical wing, he planted his feet to the floor. Lance didn’t seem amused at Keith’s lack of cooperation. But Keith didn’t care. He was tired of not getting answers.

“How did you know I was awake? You came down here as if you were already mad,” Keith asked instead of complying with Lance’s attempts at pulling him down the hall.

“Red showed me. You were walking around like a newborn fawn. And I’m not mad, I just think you’re an idiot for thinking you can get around by yourself after-“ He looked to the floor, and Keith thought he could hear how roughly Lance swallowed from how close his own ear was to his throat, “Stop being difficult, I’m taking you back to medical.”

Keith still wouldn’t budge. He couldn’t tell if his own strength was on par with Lance’s or if Lance was just being careful not to hurt him. Then he remembered how weak he was at the moment and realized just how gentle Lance’s arm was resting against his back. Keith’s heart stuttered. Too many questions were running through his mind for him to identify why.

“So, you’re telling me that you can use your connection with Red to spy on me?” Keith asked sarcastically, “Great.”

“It doesn’t work like that, and it’s only because we’ve both had a connection with her-“

“Have.” Keith corrected.

Lance rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Because we both have a connection with her, she basically sent me a warning, and let me know that you needed somebody to come and help you.”

“I don’t need help, and I don’t appreciate Red telling you about me. Has she shown you anything else? Why didn’t she use that connection to tell you I was alive?”

Keith did need help, and he knew it, but he wasn’t going to admit it to anybody. Especially when he already felt useless enough as the least experienced member of Voltron.

“No, that was the first time! And I don’t know, okay? She was convinced she lost all contact too; it must have been because of the time warp in the Quantum Abyss. If it bothers you so much, annoy her about it, now stop making this so hard.”

Lance pulled Keith forward with more strength than before, but Keith wasn’t prepared, and it caused him to trip himself. His arm was still laying over Lance’s shoulder, so he didn’t fall, but when he looked back up Lance was frozen- staring at him with wide eyes.

“I’m fine,” Keith assured him.

It seemed to calm Lance’s frenzied nerves enough to readjust Keith in his hold and move at a slower pace.

Keith didn’t give Lance a hard time after that and let himself be helped to the medical room and back into the bed. Lance acknowledged the unfinished food on the table as they passed. “That better not be Pidge’s, I swear to god.” He said to himself.

Keith got situated into a comfortable position but panicked when he noticed Lance was about to leave the room again. “Wait!” He shouted without thinking of what he wanted to say.

He just didn’t want Lance to leave after they’d finally had a civil conversation. It felt like progress. Besides… it was a stretch, but Keith got the feeling that Lance still cared about him, even if it was just a little bit. He felt awful for even thinking about taking advantage of Lance’s kindness, but he decided that it was for the greater good. Especially after everything Red had talked to him about.

Lance looked back at Keith expectantly, not angry but also not jumping at the chance to spend another minute in the room.

“Um, I promise I won’t leave the bed again until I’m cleared to, but only if you sit and have a serious talk with me- no arguing or insults- so that we can clear up this clone business. If you still don’t want to trust me after, then I won’t fight you on it. I just… I want to talk to everyone, and everyone includes you. You don’t even have to tell me anything vital, I just want to know what you’ve been through.”

Lance huffed in amusement at Keith’s words. “Are you coercing me?”

Keith had to think about it. “Maybe?” He paused for a few more moments. “I just get the feeling that you don’t hate me as much as you let on, so…”

Lance didn’t have anything to say in response; that or he just didn’t want Keith to know his reaction. Instead, he grabbed a nearby chair and rolled it beside Keith’s bed. He proceeded to sit on it backward and rest his arms on the top so he could lay his head down on them.

Oh. Keith wasn’t expecting the conversation to happen anytime soon, but it seemed that Lance wasn’t busy at the moment. He didn’t speak, just stared in waiting. Probably waiting for Keith to start since he was the one who ‘coerced’ him into this talk in the first place.

“Okay so,” Keith started, “I know you have every reason to think that I’m working for the Empire, especially with how crazy the idea is that only two months have passed for me when you guys have been fighting this war for two years without me. But I will do anything to make you guys believe me- you name it and I’ll do it. I just want to be a part of this team again, or as close as you all will allow me to be a part of it.” Suddenly, the clean, white sheet covering his legs was the most interesting thing in the room. Keith knew he wasn’t going to be able to look Lance in the eyes when he mentioned the next part. “I know that my mom and I were able to find some useful tech, but you have to understand, I-… I regret that mission more than anything. If I could take everything back; meeting my mom, finding Kosmo, spending those two months getting better at understanding others… If I could go back and stay here on the Castle-Ship with Voltron, I would do it in a heartbeat. But all I can do now is prove myself, so… you can send me on a dangerous mission, interrogate me- fuck; torture me, I don’t care. Anything that will prove that I’m the same Keith that used to be the Red Paladin. The same Keith that promised to train with you, Lance, before my disappearance.”

When Keith looked back up, Lance didn’t look happy. He wasn’t sure which part of his rant had caused it.

“Don’t talk like that. Nobody is going to hurt you.” Lance muttered, but then his expression dropped, and he paused, deep in thought for a few seconds. “Not on purpose at least.”

It was painfully obvious that Lance had the maze incident sitting heavily on his mind, and Keith couldn’t be upset about it. He would think it was his fault too if their roles were reversed.

“I don’t blame you, by the way.” Keith provided; an attempt to stop Lance’s worrying, “For what happened in the maze. You couldn’t have known, and it’s not like you were trying to push me into it. I’m glad it was me and not you. Things could have gone a lot worse.”

“Worse than you nearly getting shocked to death? It wouldn’t be a good thing if either of us had been seriously hurt!”

“Mm, if that's the case, why'd you point a sword at my throat the other day?” Keith joked. His attempts to lighten the mood didn’t seem to work.

Lance lifted his head quickly to look into Keith’s eyes straight-on. “I didn’t actually cut you, now did I. I’d never actually put my hands on you- unless you hurt anybody on the team, in that case, I would kill you. We don’t actually know if you’re a spy yet, but we also don’t know if you aren’t, which is why I say I don’t trust you. I don’t want to risk giving away information.”

“That’s fair, but why have you acted like you’re so worried about me if you’re choosing to remain in the middle about trusting me?”

It was an innocent question. Keith didn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t for the tone to shift so seriously as Lance leaned forward in his chair, almost as if he wanted Keith to witness the sincerity on his face when he spoke. His eyes looked neon blue under the fluorescent lights. Looking at them during such a pressing moment made Keith feel like a soda can that had been shaken for too long. It was the same buzzy feeling he had after touching the wall of the invisible maze. Electric.

“Because I do worry about you. If you actually are the real Keith, I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you again. I can’t go through that a second time.”

Keith couldn’t hold the eye contact for very long before embarrassment took over and he had to look down at his fidgeting hands. Lance could be very passionate about his feelings, and Keith thought to himself that it was kind of overwhelming. “Go through what, exactly? Shiro said you threw yourself into training, which is why you’ve improved so much.”

This was when Lance seemed to hide his emotions. It was almost as if he was fine talking about how he felt towards others but didn’t want to talk about feelings involving himself.

“Shiro’s not wrong, but it wasn’t easy getting to this point. I made a lot of mistakes at first and got a lot of people hurt, including the team. In a way, I used that as motivation to get better. There were a few moments where I almost quit. We were already looking for a new Red Paladin, so why not find a new Blue Paladin too? But I guess part of me wanted to spite you for leaving. If you thought a dangerous mission was more important than us, then I’d teach myself how to hone my skills without your help.”

“But I didn’t-“

“Don’t. I don’t want to get into that right now,” Lance held his hand out in front of him, effectively cutting Keith off. He felt terrible that Lance thought that was the case, but he knew that’s how it came across, so he couldn’t blame Lance for jumping to that conclusion. He nodded instead of trying to push the topic, so Lance dropped his hand and continued.

“A part of me also felt like I owed it to the team to replace you; to reach your level and take your place as Voltron’s warrior. And then Red was calling out to me, claiming me as the new Red Paladin, and that was all the confirmation I needed. I would remain a Paladin, but I wasn’t going to put the team in harm’s way again by being weak. I did throw myself into training, and I decided that being mad at you made things easier.”

Keith nodded as he absorbed the information. It was all a bit vague, but he was glad to have any sort of clarification to Lance’s thoughts and reasonings. It was obviously a sensitive topic for him, considering the way he sat stiffly in his chair and seemed like he was trying to distance himself.

“You said that Red claimed you to be the new Red Paladin. What did the team think about it?” Keith asked.

Lance shrugged as if he wasn’t actually sure of the right answer. “They were definitely surprised. Especially since you and I were polar opposites. They didn’t openly question it though, and soon enough I was proving myself anyway.”

Everything Keith was learning was super helpful for putting together pieces of the puzzle that were Lance’s new self. Suddenly, his passion, protectiveness, and distrust all made sense to Keith. He had always been aware of Lance’s insecurities, especially because he opened up to him those two months- years, ago. So, he had always known that the motivation to learn was there.

Keith was feeling risky. Probably because of all of the answers he was getting out of Lance. He decided to push his luck.

“Can I ask… how you got the scar on your face?”

It became quickly apparent that Keith had crossed a line. Lance’s features screwed up into something equally blank and defensive.

Keith knew he probably shouldn’t have asked, but it was the first time he was truly able to examine it because of how close together they had been sitting. The last time he was able to see it up close was during his flash-forward in the Abyss. It was a thin scar, but Keith could tell that it had been a serious cut. The color was such a light contrast against Lance’s skin, and it was the whitest out of all of his visible scars.

“It doesn’t matter, and don’t go trying to ask anybody else because they don’t know either,” Lance responded passively. He turned his head to the side, almost as if to hide the scar, and Keith hated that. “Seriously, it’s insignificant compared to most of my other ones, it’s just in a really inconvenient place.”

“So, it does bother you that it’s on your face. It’s comforting to know that you still care about that stuff.”

“What do you mean, ‘that stuff’?!” Lance asked loudly, “It’s an ugly line that nearly reaches all the way down my face, obviously it's going to bother me!”

Lance’s outburst and dramatic hand movements gave Keith a glimpse at the old him. The one he could harmlessly argue with and tick off for his own amusement. Keith could also see the new Lance in his actions; the graceful gesturing and confident posture. He liked to think that this middle ground was the true Lance. The Lance between the carefree and the guarded versions of himself.

Keith decided that he preferred Lance when he was loud and unashamed.

“I think it makes you look brave.” Keith suddenly spoke. His words came out softer than he had intended, but he meant them all the same.

He had interrupted Lance as he was going on about his facial structure and cheekbones, so it was obvious he wasn’t prepared for those words. He watched Keith silently for a few moments, his hands and mouth frozen on whatever he had been talking about.

Now- Keith was proud of his newfound ability to read other people’s expressions, but he was struggling at that moment. He thought Lance seemed confused, then maybe self-conscious, but then he was carefully hiding his emotions again.

Keith flinched reflexively as Lance jumped quickly from the seat. He didn’t seem mad anymore, which was good, but he definitely seemed annoyed again. Keith thought that maybe he shouldn’t have said anything about it. It was a touchy subject and he knew he should have respected that. “Lance, I didn’t mean to-“

“Don’t worry about it,” He responded, his back already turned to Keith as he was leaving the room. Keith hated that he couldn’t hear any emotion in his words. He had no clue as to what Lance was thinking anymore. “Get more rest. I stood by my end of the deal, so don’t try and leave again.

Keith didn’t think he’d be able to fall back asleep after that conversation.

----------

A two-hour ‘nap’ was all Keith needed to recover and be cleared by Coran. Luckily, after some serious begging on Keith’s part, Allura decided that she would still allow him to join Hunk and Lance on their journey down to the Merkatora- the marketplace planet. That didn’t mean that the others stopped watching his every move. Even though he’d regained full feeling in his nerves again, any hesitation or falter in his step was met with suspicious looks. The only reason he was given the go-ahead to stay on the mission was because Lance said he’d keep an eye on him.

Apparently, Pidge had given the person responsible for the maintenance of the maze a huge scolding for such a simple mistake. Hunk was there for motivational support, but it wasn’t often that he’d show aggression towards anyone. Coran and Shiro had spent most of their time by Keith’s side while he was resting. The only thing Keith had missed out on while he was unconscious was the complete frenzy the Castle-Ship had been in after finding out one of the former Paladins of Voltron had almost died due to a mistake somebody on board had made. Allura decided it would be best if the person responsible was relocated to another job position that didn’t involve as much wiring and coding. After that, Keith had gotten a more-than-sincere apology from a poor alien who was obviously terrified that Keith was going to hurt him or something. He honestly hadn’t held any ill-will towards him and assured him of exactly that.

Keith just wanted to put it all behind him so he could get back to making progress with the team. Shiro wasn’t going to let him do so without a stern lecture about self-preservation.

“I’m just saying, Keith, you’ve barely been cleared of bed-rest! Maybe you should sit this one out and wait for the next best opportunity to join in on a mission!”

Keith was rummaging through the box of clothes Coran had provided him. Everything inside was meant to disguise him, Lance, and Hunk from the shifty eyes of Merkatora’s vendors and shoppers. He pulled out a long-sleeve hooded shirt that looked like it was as tight as it was long. It was the only thing he could find with a hood that would fit him, so he paired the dark navy top with a loose pair of black pants. It looked like something he’d see in an apocalyptic movie, but apparently, it was normal for the inhabitants of the planet. “You’re the one who pushed for this in the first place, Shiro. I feel fine, and Lance said he’d keep an eye on me.”

Keith stepped into the connected bath of his bedroom, leaving Shiro to raise his voice through the door as he changed. “That was before you got seriously injured. Lance and Hunk will be fine to carry out the mission on their own, you can sit this one out.”

The pants were tight around his hips but baggy around his calves, which would cause problems if he needed to make a quick getaway. He decided he’d rip them off at the knees if he truly needed to.

“You aren’t going to change my mind about this, I’m sorry. I’d feel better if I did go and nothing went wrong than stay behind and something does go wrong. I know that Lance and Hunk can handle themselves, but I want to provide any backup I can.”

Keith left the bathroom in a rush, only skidding to a stop when he came face-to-face with a serious-faced Shiro.

“And what if you only get in their way? You could just as easily end up being a burden to them instead.”

Keith knew it wasn’t meant as an insult, but it still hurt like one. What really drove it home was the fact that Shiro was right. What could Keith bring to the table as somebody who didn’t have nearly as much experience?

No. No matter what went wrong, Keith wasn’t going to let himself drag them down with him.

“I won’t let that happen.”

Their eye contact said more than their words ever could. Shiro must have known that Keith wasn’t going to back down on his decision. If Lance was in the room, he would have said something about Keith being just as stubborn as he used to be.

Shiro breathed in deeply, let it out quickly, and nodded his head once. “Fine,” he gave in, “but the second I find out something goes wrong, I’m coming down to get you. I’m not going to let you put yourself in danger again. I trust Lance, but he doesn’t trust you, so I’ll be keeping an eye on you from up here.”

Keith agreed, knowing full well that Shiro would hold him in the Castle against his will before letting him go down with the intention to put himself in harm’s way.

----------

The ride down to Merkatora was nerve-wracking, but Keith seemed to be the only one who was feeling anxious about it. He ended up squeezing himself into the front of the ship where Lance was piloting, and Hunk was running through parts they should be looking for with his tablet. They were traveling on a typical merchant ship, which had double the space for transporting goods and only two seats for people. Keith probably would have had an easier time sitting on one of the empty crates in the back, but he couldn’t bring himself to be alone at the moment. All three of them were nearly defenseless: No armor, no bayards, and only their invisible earpieces for communication. Keith didn’t have experience with missions that put him in such a vulnerable position. Lance and Hunk seemed calm and collected, so he hoped that being nearby would help him gather his own frenzied nerves. He was going to regret the pain he felt in his thighs later after staying in a crouched position for so long.

From where he was settled and holding on to the sides of both chairs, he could hear the other two easily, as well as see what they had chosen to arm themselves with. They both had on scrappy attire similar to Keith’s. Hunk was wearing a wrapped shirt that sat loosely around his neck, leaving the top of his chest exposed. Leather straps peeked out from underneath; the harness that held Hunk’s knives. When Keith had asked about it while they were gearing up to leave, Hunk mentioned that Lance had helped teach him how to perfect his aim and that it was a work in progress but he now had near-perfect accuracy with throwing knives so long as the moving target was within fifteen feet of him. Keith was envious of that.

Lance wore a forest green jacket that was similar to the one Keith was familiar with, but this one reached down to his knees and looked a lot more worn with its various holes and patches. Underneath was a tight black shirt that had a high neck with no sleeves, and dark jeans. The only indication of Lance’s double pistols were the bumps in his jacket around his waist area, but the bulky pockets helped hide them while standing. Neither outfit seemed to match their personalities, and it was jarring for Keith to witness. Their weapons, however, were a lot more discreet, and it seemed they had taken that into account when getting dressed. Keith’s Marmora Blade was sheathed at his belt, and while his shirt reached halfway down his thighs, it was still obvious if anybody were looking. Weapons supposedly weren’t uncommon at this market, but it definitely made you more suspicious if you had one. Neither Hunk nor Lance had anything to say about it though, so Keith was hoping for the best- fingers crossed.

Lance landed the ship at Merkatora’s docking station with no complications. It was currently occupied by Galra soldiers, but most of the security around the area was made up of different alien species that had been bought out by the Empire, assumedly with a large sum of currency. It was the name of the game for this planet.

All three of them pulled up their hoods before exiting the ship. They’d be tracked down in an instant if they were recognized either as humans or as Paladins of Voltron. Luckily, the short alien collecting docking payment didn’t seem to suspect anything. Although, Keith knew he couldn’t let his guard down.

He could already tell he was going to hate the place. From the entrance alone he could see that every single stall was pressed up against one another and packed with junk that was close to spilling over the counters. It was hard to tell if the trash littering the ground was meant to be part of the merchandise or not. It was also unbearably hot despite the atmosphere being consistently filled with gray clouds. Keith could already feel a pool of sweat forming at his lower back.

There was no getting around in an orderly fashion either. Everybody seemed unfazed by the cramped space and blatant pushing from other shoppers. Keith had to get close behind Hunk and Lance just so they could hear him over the noise. He didn’t realize how much dirt was being kicked up in the place before he was trying the speak and his voice came out scratchy.

“How are we supposed to find anything in this place? It’s packed!”

“Good. If we get caught by a guard, we can lose them in the crowd,” Lance spoke as he adjusted his jacket for good measure. He urged Hunk to lead the way in front of them. He was taller and broader than most of the aliens there, so they seemed to cower away from their group.

Lance had grabbed Keith by his upper arm and pushed him ahead. It was their best bet for getting through the commotion without losing each other; Keith holding on to one of the draping folds of Hunk’s shirt, and Lance keeping his forearm braced against Keith’s back as they walked in a close-knit line.

While Keith didn’t have to worry about being separated from Hunk, there were a few times where Lance had to push in closer to Keith’s back because somebody had tried to cut between them to get past. He was trying not to focus on the humidity, but Lance’s front pressing in from behind was becoming too much. At some point, he slipped his hand into Lance’s so that they could stay connected that way. Lance got the message and stayed back a few paces. Keith felt like he could breathe again after that.

In good news, from what Keith could tell, nobody was suspicious of them despite how much Hunk stood out because of his height. They could traverse easily without being stopped by anybody, and they didn’t break their contact until they made it to an opening towards the center of the sector.

There was a fountain in the middle where children in tattered clothes were running around and splashing strangers with water. One had bumped into Lance’s legs while playing a game and looked up at him with terrified eyes like they expected Lance to yell at them. Instead, he patted the kid’s head and sent them off in the direction of their friends. Keith couldn’t see Lance’s expression when his hood was pulled up, but he wondered if they had reminded him of his family back home.

“Perfect!” Hunk shouted suddenly, which earned him a jab to his side from Lance’s elbow. “Sorry.” He apologized quickly but then pointed in the direction of what he had spotted. It was a large, white tent, and Keith couldn’t read the sign hanging on the front, but he could easily see the piles of miscellaneous scrap parts being sold inside.

“If we can find everything we need there, we won’t need to keep searching the other stalls. Don’t split up unless we have to, and in that case, we use our earpieces and decide when it’s safe to meet back up at the cargo ship,” Lance directed, and then they were heading toward the tent together.

It was bigger on the inside than it seemed on the outside, and there weren’t many shoppers, so the vendor was keeping a close eye on the three of them as they navigated through the heaps of technology that had been carelessly piled up on the dirt.

“Looking for anything in particular?” The alien asked, and Keith suddenly forgot everything they were supposed to be searching for.

“A lot actually, and this is a great selection. We’ll be buying most of it if that’s okay?” Hunk stepped in cheerfully, and Keith wasn’t surprised. Hunk had always had a welcoming personality and tended to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. It was why he was able to make easy conversation with the man while Lance and Keith began picking through what they’d be bringing back to the ship.

Not only had they spent less than what they were planning to, but they also acquired more than enough scrap pieces needed to build their new ships. The vendor seemed to take a liking to Hunk and even offered to have some of his employees pull the wagons filled with what they had bought. The two groups separated on the way back to the docking station, mostly because Hunk had stopped Keith and Lance so that he could check out a stall advertising rare ingredients and spices.

It was awkward, Keith thought- having to stand so close to Lance as to not lose each other in the waves of shuffling people, but also not speaking as they did so. He felt like he needed to make small talk or something.

“That was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be.”

Lance shifted closer as if he hadn’t heard Keith, but then he was responding.

“Sometimes trying to stay undetected is the hardest part of a mission. Don’t assume we’re safe though. We haven’t left yet.”

Keith nodded, but he didn’t know what to say to that. Instead, he focused on what Hunk was interested in at the stall he stood in front of. He was talking the vendor’s ear off about some maroon-colored flower of sorts.

“I recognize some of those plants. They were growing in the Abyss. If I had known they were valuable, I would have had my mom bring some back on the ship with us.” Keith joked, and Lance turned to watch him with curious eyes. He obviously wanted to ask him something, so Keith looked back expectantly.

“Has anything changed for you, now that you know your mom is actually alive? You two seem close for only knowing each other for two months.”

Keith understood what Lance was implying. “It probably should feel weirder; more awkward than it has felt. But I feel comfortable around Krolia. I think I got most of my personality from her, so she understood how socially and emotionally impaired I was. She helped me work through it as somebody who’s had to do the same thing for herself.” Keith had to stop mid-explanation when a shopper passed by in a hurry, nearly barreling into Keith head-on but moving just in time to only clip his shoulder. The collision pushed Keith into Lance’s side, but he didn’t seem bothered by it at all, so Keith didn’t think to apologize for it. He also didn’t think about how much closer they were standing at that point. “Honestly, I think having her sword growing up played a huge part. If I didn’t have any sort of heirloom, I probably wouldn’t have had the motivation to search for answers- or a lead for that matter. The sword is really what led me to finding her.”

The corner of Lance’s mouth turned up at that, but he didn’t seem like he had anything to say in response about it. He must have been asking just because he was curious. Keith watched as Lance shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and turned to watch Hunk as he spoke animatedly- probably about his passion for cooking. They were both too far away to hear what Hunk was saying, but they could assume.

“Krolia approached me on the Castle-Ship to tell me something. Before she left,” Lance spoke. “She found me as I was leaving one of the meeting rooms.”

Keith groaned in frustration. “She didn’t tell you something embarrassing, did she?” All he could think about was their time in the Quantum Abyss; how sappy he had probably sounded while he was telling his mom all about Lance and how close they had gotten since becoming Paladins together.

Lance shook his head but didn’t take his eyes off of Hunk’s back. Keith couldn’t tell if he was using his act of protectiveness for Hunk as an excuse to avoid his eye contact, but he couldn’t blame Lance for not being able to look at him. Keith had come to realize that Lance avoided eye contact when he was embarrassed. “She just stopped me to let me know that she understood why I was being so cautious about you but asked that I be careful about how aggressively I act towards you with my distrust. She basically wanted to tell me that while you’re still the same strong, stubborn Keith, you’ve learned to understand and handle your emotions in a healthier way.”

Keith blinked in surprise. “Oh.”

Lance turned to look at him then. “I think she was just calling you sensitive.” He teased.

Keith rolled his eyes but didn’t deny anything that Lance was saying. Keith knew that he was more sensitive in a way. He learned how to channel what he was feeling into more than just his anger, and he felt like he’d grown to be a more forgiving person.

He had long since come to the conclusion that the Keith who hadn’t met his mother would have grown increasingly angrier the longer the team refused to trust him in this situation. But he had met his mother, and now he was able to put himself into his friends’ shoes before letting himself strongly feel the first emotion that bubbles to the surface.

“That vendor doesn’t seem as kind as the one from the last shop,” Keith noted. The alien was tall with thin limbs and shiny, purple skin. Keith couldn’t see his expression very well from the distance he was standing, but he could read his body language. His arms were crossed, and he definitely didn’t seem as excited as Hunk was about whatever conversation they were having.

“He’s a Nullrean. They’re known for being shifty. We should probably get a move on before he manages to scam Hunk out of the rest of our money,” Lance informed Keith, before activating his earpiece and letting Hunk know to start making his way back to them.

Of course, Hunk didn’t return empty-handed, and excitedly told Lance and Keith about the ingredients he bought as they made their way back to the ship where the other group of aliens had already unloaded all of the scraps from their wagon. Lance handed them a pouch as they went to leave, probably a generous tip.

Halfway through maneuvering all of the materials onto their ship, a loud commotion erupted from the entrance of the market. Keith froze in place, his eyes flitting to Lance, who was trying to see what was going on and slowly handing off what he had been carrying to Hunk.

Lance’s features turned serious and calculating. “You guys finish this, and quick. I’m gonna make sure our cover wasn’t blown.” He hurries back into the market with hands dangerously close to the guns under his jacket. Keith nearly went to stop him but decided against it. He was just worried. He didn’t want to leave this planet unless Lance was with them.

His panic must have been obvious enough for Hunk to notice.

“He’s going to be okay. He tends to run head-first into things, kind of like you used to do, but he’s still cautious. If anybody is after us, he’ll make sure to warn us and stay hidden. The weapons are a precaution.”

Keith knew Hunk was right, but since it was technically his first mission in two years, he couldn’t help but overthink. He hurried to match Hunk’s space in an attempt to fight it, but he found himself subconsciously checking every few minutes to see if Lance was on his way back.

“When did Lance start acting that way?” He asked Hunk, trying to make conversation to distract himself. They were in a secluded corner of the docking station, so he felt it was safe to talk out in the open. “Like, running head-first into things, like you said before. I knew that he’d get excited about missions and stuff, but he was always reminding the rest of us to come up with a plan first, then act later.”

Hunk smiled and took a particularly heavy piece of equipment from Keith’s hands to carry for him. “Probably not long after everything that went down with Shiro’s clone. I think he may have blamed himself for not acting quicker, what with Shiro’s soul being trapped in the Black Lion for so long. We all regret not noticing sooner, but Shiro never blamed us- he’s too kind. Anyway, I think Lance still stands by planning first and doing second. He’s super smart and has always been good at strategizing, so I think the only reason he acts so quickly now is because he can plan everything out in seconds.”

That was… surprising, but also really endearing, especially coming from Hunk. Keith couldn’t recall a time he’d ever heard Hunk insult anyone, but when he gave a compliment, you could tell he really meant it.

“Sounds like you trust him a lot.”

Keith caught Hunk nodding in his peripheral. “He’s saved my life so many times, Keith. I wouldn’t trust it in anyone’s hands but his.”

“Oh. Are you okay with talking about it? It’s okay if not, I just thought I’d ask.”

“Of course, man! It’s usually been minor situations, where Lance had my back when I was too careless to watch it myself. There was one time where we all got separated during a wormhole incident. You were still with us during the time but you had ended up in a different location, I'm not sure if you ever heard the story! Lance and I crash-landed into an ocean planet populated by a mermaid alien species, the Mer, and they were all being mind-controlled- I know, it sounds insane! But Lance managed to avoid it with some help, and I tried hurting him while I was being controlled, I can remember everything. Lance didn’t even try to defend himself, probably because he didn’t want to hurt me. Anyway, we had gotten really close to dying that day, if not for Lance, everyone would have eventually been eaten by a sea serpent! Crazy times.”

It’s not what Keith expected, but he was amused, nonetheless. “That does sound crazy. I’m glad you guys got out of there okay.”

Hunk watched the ground in thought as if he were reliving the memory in his head. “Yeah, and Lance never holds it against me that I nearly hurt him. He always says that his only objective was to make sure I was okay. There have been plenty of times where Lance has risked a mission to help me.”

The conversation had quickly turned into something else, and it left Keith wondering if the team would save his life if it meant putting a mission at risk. Before everything that’s happened, they would have in a heartbeat, and Keith knew this. He just wasn’t sure how the team truly felt about him now. They had welcomed him back onto the team, but did they feel that they still knew him? He hadn’t changed much, but they had outgrown the Keith they used to know.

He wanted to know where everyone stood with him at this moment. Hunk was a good place to start; he could never hurt Keith’s feelings.

Just as Keith turned to speak to Hunk, they could hear footsteps approaching from behind. It was only one person, so that must have meant it was Lance returning to the ship. Keith spun around, ready to make sure that Lance was alright, but was met by a tall, hooded figure.

Keith recognized him immediately as the Nullrean vendor Hunk had talked to earlier. That must have been why the alien completely sidestepped Keith to approach Hunk instead.

Hunk recognized him as well. “Hey, buddy! Did I underpay on accident or something?” He obviously seemed on edge, trying to be careful with his words.

“Don’t buddy me, Yellow Paladin of Voltron!” The Nullrean shouted, pointing a rusty shiv to Hunk’s face and using it to pull his hood down. Keith looked around quickly, but nobody else was around to witness Hunk’s disguise being exposed. “I don’t know what your business here is, but I do know that the Galra Empire will pay me handsomely for turning you in.” Keith hadn’t noticed the communicator in his other hand until he was holding it up to his mouth to alert the guard.

With the Nullrean so close and his shiv held up to Hunk’s throat, he couldn’t reach for his weapon. Keith was sure the alien wouldn’t hesitate to puncture skin if he saw Keith move. One thing was for certain; the vendor obviously hadn’t recognized Keith. Either he hadn’t gotten a good look at Keith’s face, or he had but didn’t recognize him as somebody who’s a part of Voltron.

Keith did the only thing he could think to do, which was the one thing he had been avoiding since returning from the Quantum Abyss. He started channeling the parts of him that he subconsciously worked so hard to suppress- the parts of him that he didn’t even know he could manifest until his mother taught him how to during their two months together.

The shift was quick due to his practice, and it went completely unnoticed, thankfully. He pulled his own hood down, reached for the blade at his belt, and made a beeline for Hunk.

“I’ll handle things from here, Nullrean,” Keith spoke authoritatively, and prayed that his purple skin, yellow eyes, and Galra ears were enough to trick the alien into backing off. He felt horrible having to hold his knife to Hunk’s neck, but he couldn’t think of anything else to do that would seem convincing. He didn’t have handcuffs, so he didn’t make a convincing guard. He had to play this safe. “I’ve been working undercover and was just about to apprehend this Paladin before you got here.”

The vendor looked at him suspiciously but lowered his own weapon and stepped away from Hunk. Keith hoped his sigh of relief wasn’t audible. “What about the reward?”

“You did well by following him here, so you’ll still be receiving it. Tell me your name so that I can inform my higher-ups.”

“You’re going to need my supply number, newbie. It’s six eighty-two, you better not forget it!” He shouted before stomping back the way he came from, and Keith finally remembered to breathe.

There were a few moments where Hunk remained silent, and Keith didn’t let him back away from his grip. Keith decided he’d rather be safe than sorry. “Are you going to be okay if I let you go?”

Hunk doesn’t respond, at least, not to his question. Instead, he brings up Keith’s appearance. “How long have you been able to do that?” He asked.

Keith mentally relaxed, knowing that he no longer had to worry about Hunk hating his guts. He seemed more interested in Keith’s ability to shape shift.

Keith went to release his hold on Hunk, but it was at that exact moment that Lance had the worst possible timing.

He couldn’t have waited another five seconds?

Keith was painfully aware of how comically bad the situation must have seemed, and he honestly wished it had been a guard who had rounded the corner instead of Lance. But of course, the universe just enjoyed fucking with Keith apparently.

His Galra features were on full display, but he was still a half-breed, which meant that he still resembled his human self, and so there was no convincing Lance that Keith wasn’t the one currently holding his knife to Hunk’s throat.

Lance looked- understandably- pissed beyond reasoning with.

Keith was only allowed enough time to back away from Hunk and drop his weapon before he was pushed off balance and hitting the ground hard. Lance’s foot pressing into his shoulder to keep him planted on his back was nearly painful enough to make him forget how hard he had hit his head. All he could see through blurred vision were the murky clouds and the barrel of one of Lance’s pistols pointing directly at his forehead.

There would be no warning shot this time.

There was something so heart-rending about it all; having a friend point their own gun to your head and lose their trust in you so easily. But Keith knew that Lance had good reason, and he knew he couldn’t blame Lance for wanting to protect those he was closest with. Keith just wasn’t one of those people anymore, and he had already been walking a thin line on Lance’s trust.

Keith could understand, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t painful.

There were a few confusing seconds where Keith wondered if actions could change the events of the future because he still hadn’t lived to witness his flash-forward from the Abyss yet. Would he have been able to say something to change Lance’s mind? He didn’t want to say the wrong thing though.

He also couldn’t bring himself to try and explain what happened. It didn’t seem like Lance was going to let him anyway if the sound of the whirring quintessence in his gun was anything to go by.

Keith’s hands were free, laying up by his head in a show of surrender, so he could have done something. Maybe grab Lance’s leg or his own sword that was only a few feet away, but it didn’t feel right.

It didn’t feel like self-defense if it meant hurting Lance.

He closed his eyes instead, not wanting to be looking Lance in the eyes while it happened.

Except, Hunk’s shouts of protest could only go ignored by the two of them for so long before he was taking action in the form of tackling Lance to the ground.

The gun misfired only enough to leave Keith unharmed, but hearing the gunshot while his eyes were still closed was horrifying. There was a split second where he remembered everything Lance and he had been through that had somehow led up to that point, and how serious Lance’s trauma must have been if it meant forgetting all of that to make sure Hunk was okay.

Keith could vaguely hear Hunk yelling in Lance’s face while they both struggled to push the other from their heap on the ground. It was kind of scary witnessing Hunk while he was angry, and he almost felt bad that he was the one defending Keith’s innocence.

As Keith watched the clouds pass, he let their fight fade from his focus, because something was becoming increasingly clear in his thoughts.

Any progress he had made with Lance up to this point- any form of trust that Lance had held onto for Keith- was gone now. No amount of explaining from Hunk was going to fix things again.

There was a reason Keith was trying to hide his shapeshifting abilities from the team. His intentions were good ones. Although he knew it would have influenced their decision to let him back in, he wanted to make them feel safer around him. But by hiding it from them, it was only going to make things worse when they did find out. Keith knew this, and he had been willing to risk it. He didn’t think he would have to use the ability so soon. He was hoping he could have at least worked on his bonds with everyone before having to come clean.

One thing was obvious. Voltron wasn’t going to be on the fence anymore about which side Keith was on.

He would have to do something drastic if he wanted to earn their trust again.

Chapter Text

“Keith? Are you awake?”

Keith could recognize Shiro’s voice instantly, but it sounded muffled, which was a rude awakening.

Right, I’m in the prison hold.

The lighting in his cell was dim enough that it didn’t take long for Keith to come to, wiping the sleep from his eyes and cracking his back to ease out the kinks. Somehow, he had managed to fall asleep in an uncomfortable position slumped against the wall. There was a perfectly useful bed in the corner that he hadn’t slept in. He had too much to think about.

The day before, Hunk had used his earpiece to signal for help while trying to subdue Lance. Shiro had come down in a second merchant ship, and Lance was quick to tell him that Keith needed to be detained. Shiro had trusted Lance’s judgment, not without lots of questioning, of course. Keith didn’t resist though, so Shiro had walked him to the prison hold once they were back on the Castle-Ship, a silent Lance following behind them to make sure they actually made it there.

And then they left. Probably to discuss what happened so the rest of the team could hear both sides of the story from Lance and Hunk.

So, Keith had shifted back into his human form, sat in silence, and spiraled so far into his own negative thoughts that he must have fallen asleep from exhaustion and overthinking. He hadn’t wanted to cry. He knew he was innocent and that was all that mattered, but he didn’t like that the team was arguing with each other because of him. All he wanted was to help…

Shiro opened the door long enough for Keith to approach and take a plate of food off his hands. He ate while Shiro stared at the clear glass wall between them, deep in thought.

“This is insane,” Shiro finally spoke.

Keith sighed and set his empty plate aside. “This is necessary.”

They both settled on the floor, one following after the other because it was obvious this conversation was going to turn into something more.

“You aren’t the enemy, Keith. Lance made me promise to not get too close until things were sorted out… but you’re my brother. How am I supposed to live with myself knowing you’re locked in here?”

“Are things being sorted out?” Keith asked. He wasn’t sure what Shiro meant by ‘sorted out' but he would appreciate knowing how long he might be having to stay in the cell.

Shiro seemed reluctant to respond, but one look at Keith’s tired face was all it took. “Everyone is at an impasse. Hunk and Pidge agree with me- we think you’re innocent. But Lance, Allura, and Coran worry that Hunk is too forgiving for his own good. They think that being cautious now that we know you can shift is the safer option.”

Keith can’t bring himself to be upset with them. It was the Galra species who destroyed their planet, and Lance was only acting on what he saw with his own two eyes. Hurting his friends was where he drew the line, and he had even told Keith that. It was just all one big misunderstanding that only time and patience would solve.

“I’m okay with staying in here. Especially if everyone feels more comfortable this way.”

“Well, I’m not! There has to be another option.”

“It doesn’t matter, Shiro. I can’t prove anything yet, so this needs to happen,” Keith shoots back, exasperated. “Look, can we talk about something else? I don’t want to argue with you too.”

Shiro kept a stubborn fire in his eyes a few moments longer, but then it died out. He slumped forward, and Keith could finally see just how tired his brother seemed. The faint bags under his eyes suggested he hadn’t slept.

It probably wasn’t the best timing to ask, but Keith had been thinking a lot about Shiro’s near-death experience since he’d been told about it.

“What was it like? Being stuck in the Black Lion, not alive but also not… dead.”

Keith obviously knew that it was a rough time for everybody, and he regretted not being there to help Shiro. He wondered if he would have noticed something off about the clone. If he would have known immediately that he wasn’t his actual brother.

But he wanted to know Shiro's thoughts. Hear it coming from him.

“It was… like a dream. Not a good one, but also not a nightmare. It just felt like nothing was real. I could see everything that was happening whenever the team connected with their lions, but when they weren’t it was just… dark. Dark and silent. I think I preferred my time held captive by the Galra because at least then I was aware of it. All I knew was that person with my face- and my voice- wasn’t me. I’d never treat the others the way that he did. I think the team was at its lowest during that time. Nobody was getting along, and half the time they couldn’t form Voltron. It was also not long after we had all agreed to declare you MIA… and called off the search. It was hard, but we managed.”

“Were you able to connect to the other lions at all? Like, through Black’s connection?”

Shiro nodded. “There were a few times I tried to reach out to Lance since he’s always had the closest bond with the lions. He says that he remembers those moments clearly, but that it never held long enough for me to get him a message. He always had suspicions after that, especially when the clone started treating him poorly. I think he just assumed I was stressed about losing you. Maybe it’s why he didn’t fight back or say anything to the others.”

If Keith had been given a sure sign that something was wrong with Shiro but didn’t think to do anything about it, he’d never forgive himself. Of course, Shiro was never going to blame anybody for what happened. But he could only wonder what Lance thought of himself about it. He definitely wouldn’t tell him if Keith asked.

“Jesus,” was all he could think to say. It was painful just imagining it

Shiro shifted forward to rest the weight of his elbows on his legs. He looked up at Keith, regret clear in his features. “I could sense you through your bond with Red; while my soul was stuck in Black. It must have been your soul or your quintessence, but it was there. Almost like the feeling we all get when we form Voltron. Your soul feels like the stubborn embers of a fire that refuses to go out, and I felt that, Keith. I hate myself for thinking it was just false hope. I should have pushed further- figured out what it was. I thought it was your lingering connection with Red, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I’m sor-“

“No, Shiro. I don’t blame you for the exact reason you don’t blame Lance. Neither of you had any clue what it meant, and there was no way for you to know. We’re all here now, that’s what matters.”

“Yeah,” Shiro started, pressing his tightened fist to the glass between them. “We’re all here, and half of us believe you’re a traitor who deserves to be locked up.”

Keith pressed a reassuring hand to Shiro’s from the other side. “We’ll sort it out. In the meantime, you need to keep getting sleep. Who’s gonna defend my honor if you’re passed out in the meeting?” He joked, and Shiro tried not to crack a smile.

“Believe it or not, Hunk has been very passionate with his statements. If anybody is going to convince the others, it’ll be him.”

Keith smiled at that. “Could you tell him I said thank you? His trust means more to me than he knows.”

“Of course.”

Shiro was able to catch Keith up on the progress that’d been made with the ship construction before Lance was barging into the long hallway of the prison hold. He approached Shiro where he was perched on the floor; where it was obvious they had both been having a serious conversation. If Lance was mad, he didn’t say so.

“Morning training session starts soon, Shiro. I came to see if you were still planning on going.” He spoke, looking between the two of them on the floor.

Shiro gave Keith one last reassuring and understanding smile before getting up to leave. At the sound of the door shutting behind him, Keith stood to meet Lance’s gaze. He hadn’t moved since Shiro left, and obviously had something to say.

Keith hoped his expression seemed open and honest, and not defensive in any way. He’d be willing to listen to anything Lance had to say if it meant he would consider Keith’s side of things too.

“We’re having another meeting today, after training. If we all continue to stay at a standstill, we may have to interrogate you. Pidge is also in the process of hacking into Merkatora’s surveillance footage, to help prove Hunk’s case. Listen, we all want to take Hunk’s word for it, but you must know how bad you made yourself look. Real Keith or not, I would’ve done the same thing if I saw you putting Hunk in danger like that.”

Keith is quick to shut him down.

“That’s not true, Lance, and you know it. I understand that shit has happened to you, and you have every right to be protective of everyone because of it, but it’s just that. If you knew for sure that I was the real Keith, you would never point your gun at me. You would be angry- understandably angry- but you wouldn’t hurt me. This is why I’m going to prove myself to you, one way or another. I know who I am, and which side I stand on. I can’t let you blame yourself for the rest of your life if you were to do anything to hurt me. You already blame yourself for my death.”

Lance’s look of genuine surprise was unexpected to Keith. It made Keith think that maybe Lance had forgotten that he himself can be a good person; can have good intentions. Maybe he was being too forgiving, but Keith knew for a fact that if he were in Lance’s place, he’d be handling things in all the wrong ways. A part of Keith felt that being understanding of Lance’s actions was what would help push his case. That or it would make him seem all the more suspicious and manipulative. He really hoped it wasn’t the latter.

Lance looked off to the side and smiled in disbelief as if he had taken all the surprise he just felt about Keith’s response and snuffed it from existence. He chewed at the corner of his lip, looked back up at Keith with empty eyes.

“You know, shifting into your human form isn’t going to change anything. We all saw it yesterday, bringing you back into the Castle-Ship. You’re more Galra than you used to be.”

Keith scoffed. Why was Lance trying to push this careless attitude? It was obvious he was still capable of regular emotions, and their previous conversations were proof of that. It seemed as if Lance wanted a reason to be suspicious of Keith- like he was mad at something that was more than Keith, more than this loop of distrust they were both stuck in.

“You never seemed to care about me being half Galra when I told you two years ago. Besides, I’m not shifting into anything. I’ve always looked like this. It’s my default setting.” Keith muttered in a joking manner, more for himself than for Lance.

Lance’s eyebrows furrowed and his eyes went distant, seemingly deep in thought. “Y’know, when Honerva cloned Shiro, we couldn’t tell a difference either. The clone, Kuron, would recall moments that only Shiro would know, and that was what kept us convinced. It wasn’t until Honerva took control of him that his eyes went blank- distant and yellow. Like yours were when you held a knife to my best friend’s throat.”

Keith’s stomach dropped. He knew his actions seemed incriminating, but he didn’t know they’d be connected to that of the clone that infiltrated and betrayed Voltron while disguised as Shiro.

“I’m not going to deny what I did, Lance, and I don’t regret it. I did the only thing I could think of to keep Hunk from being taken by the Empire. But I am not. a. clone. I can’t blame you for being cautious, but I told you that I’m willing to do anything to prove myself.”

“Yeah, well, when that opportunity presents itself, I’ll let you know. For now, we’re doing what’s safest for the team.”

Keith nodded at that, not wanting to push Lance further. He had already started to seem worked up, so Keith let him leave the hold without saying another word.

He paced the cell, unsure of whether or not that conversation had gone well. He knew he had to be careful with his words. Lance left seeming just as wary towards Keith than he was when he entered, but nothing more than that, which was a good thing. It seemed that either way, the fire between them would always be burning, and would always keep them bickering- playful or not.

Keith stopped pacing after catching sight of himself in the reflection of the glass wall.

Pieces of his hair had fallen out of his loose bun, and the clothes Shiro had brought him the night before were rumpled from sleeping on the floor. He looked like he came straight from the stress management fliers the Garrison used to hand out. How was anybody supposed to take him seriously?

Staring into the reflected violet of his eyes, he quickly shifted into his Galra form and took a good look at it for the first time. He’d never seen himself in this way, with his purple skin and glowing, yellow eyes. He didn’t even realize he had fangs until he gritted his teeth too hard and pierced his gums.

Keith didn’t necessarily hate that he could resemble a Galra. He just hated that his ability to shift was the only reason he had lost all progress he had previously made with his team. But then he remembered that Hunk probably would’ve been kidnapped by now if not for Keith’s Galra form.

He returned to his human form and slumped back against the wall of the cell. He slid down to a sitting position and threw his head back to stare at the blank ceiling.

He hated this. He hated that this was what things had to come to. Part of him wished he was still back in the Quantum Abyss when all he had to worry about was his mom possibly witnessing an embarrassing flashback from his memories or teaching Kosmo how to play fetch. He hoped Kosmo was doing okay without him. Shiro promised to take good care of him until things were sorted out.

Another part of Keith wished that two years had passed for him instead of the other way around. He’d still feel just as distant from his friends, but at least then they wouldn’t have had to experience so much pain and suffering while Keith was ignorant of it all; enjoying his life with the newfound discovery that his mom was still alive.

It felt unfair to them. Keith was the lucky one in this situation.

Maybe that was why he had no problem doing whatever they needed him to do in order to keep them feeling safe around him.

He didn’t care what he had to do; he was going to prove to them that he wasn’t going to worsen whatever pain they’d already had to survive through.

----------

Lance was leaned back against his chair in the Bridge, his arms and legs crossed in nonchalance; he was anything but. This wasn’t a conversation he wanted to be having again. As much as he wanted an opportunity for Keith to prove his innocence to show itself, he also hated arguing with his team- his friends. Just seeing Hunk’s defeated posture was nearly enough to break Lance.

They had to realize that Lance only wanted what would keep everyone safe, even if it meant he had to seem like the bad guy. It was true that they couldn’t prove Keith was captured by the Empire while he was gone, or that he was cloned, or even brainwashed, but they also couldn’t prove that he was innocent yet either.

Allura was stood a few feet away from Lance, with Coran loyally by her side. Hunk and Pidge were sat in the control chairs across from them, and Shiro was close by but his stance was a picture of professionalism. He was going to stand by Hunk and Pidge’s beliefs no matter what- he was always going to stand up for Keith. Lance couldn’t blame him, they were family.

“So, let me make sure I’ve got this right,” Allura spoke, “Lance heard shouting and went back into the market to see what was going on while Hunk and Lance continued loading up the ship, and that’s when a stall vendor- a Nullrean- approached you two and accused Hunk of being a Paladin of Voltron. Where was Keith when this confrontation happened?”

“I was right by the ship, and Keith was standing by the scrap pile. I don’t think the Nullrean noticed him there,” Hunk quickly cut in.

“Right, and you said before that Keith used that to his advantage and shifted to resemble a Galra. Then he used his knife from the Blade of Marmora to restrain you and act as an undercover guard? Did this Nullrean seem convinced?”

“He hesitated but yeah, he left, after Keith told him he’d get his money.”

“Was there any point where you feared Keith was actually going to hurt you, Hunk?”

“Well, maybe when he first came at me with a weapon, but anybody would! Once he started making up stories about working undercover, I knew he was just trying to get the guy to leave. As soon as we were alone again, he was just trying to talk, nothing more. I promise you he wasn’t going to hurt me.”

Lance’s face morphed into something sympathetic and understanding. Hunk was becoming more and more anxious, and everyone knew what would happen when Hunk was stressed. “Hunk, I’m pretty sure we all believe your story, buddy, especially now that Pidge has shown us the footage. But now we have to face the fact that Keith lied about being able to morph himself some Galra features at will-,” he joked, hoping he’d ease Hunk’s worries. It didn’t seem to work very well. “This is something he wasn’t even able to do before he went missing. The only other people we’ve witnessed do that were Allura, whose Altean, and Kuron, who was a human clone controlled by the Empire. We’ve asked Kolivan, but the Blade has no other information about half-breed Galras aside from Keith, so we have no solid proof that it’s normal.”

“Kuron only had yellow eyes, nothing else about him resembled a Galra.” Pidge pointed out.

“We don’t know what Honerva is capable of. Not a single one of us was expecting it when she cloned Shiro, and that’s exactly what put us all in danger. It’s better that we see it coming rather than let a potential threat roam free in the Castle!” Lance shot back.

“He doesn’t have to roam free. One of us could accompany him at all times to keep an eye on him.” Shiro chimed in.

Again, Lance was understanding of Shiro’s point of view. Of course, he knew that Shiro probably had better judgment than anybody on the ship, but there were always considerations to be made. It seemed that the entire situation with Keith was facing them with ‘what-ifs’ and possibilities. Somebody needed to approach it with an unbiased angle, so Lance set aside every good interaction he’d had with Keith thus far.

“We could do that if there wasn’t such an obvious split in the team right now. Don’t take this the wrong way, but how are Allura, Coran, and I going to trust that you guys won’t be lax with him? The three of us alone can’t keep a constant watch over him.”

Pidge snorted.

“Maybe the problem is your trust issues,” they snarked.

Lance had to look away when they stared at him in disbelief and anger.

“This is ridiculous, why can’t we just ask him questions? He’s been more than willing to answer everything we’ve asked him already.” Hunk asked seemingly less on-edge than he was before.

Coran stepped forward quietly, never one to interrupt loudly. “I hate to agree with Lance and the Princess when it means Keith will have to stay in the hold for an unknown amount of time, but alas, we cannot take his word just by simply hearing him recount his own memories. It seemed Kuron knew everything Shiro knew as if his brain were a complete copy of the original! We should assume that anything this Keith has said could have been meant to gain our trust. For all we know, he could have been captured by the Empire all those years ago, and he could have had his mother convinced as well.”

“It’s absurd to jump to that conclusion,” Shiro cut in.

Lance sighed and pushed off from where he was leaning against his chair. “We all regretted not jumping to conclusions when it was you who was cloned, Shiro. Everything sounded absurd when we found out your soul had been saved by the Black Lion. We’ve experienced stranger situations.”

“Enough, please,” Allura effectively brought an end to their back and forth banter, “What we need to do now, is figure out the best way to handle this.”

Coran smiled at her encouragingly. “I am not sure what the best course of action is, Princess, but I believe we should wait for a sign.”

“Right. Maybe we wait for Honerva to take control of him? Or we give him false information and wait for the Empire to act on it?” Allura suggested.

Pidge stood up in a show of exasperation, throwing their hands in the air, “That will take too long! We can’t just set Keith on the backburner while we figure this out! If we’re waiting for a sign, we need one now!”

The sound of the door hissing open interrupted their conversation. They all turned to watch as a seemingly nervous Olkari came fumbling into the Bridge and rushing to Allura to whisper hushed words into her ear.

Fear washed over her face, and she turned to Coran, who had overheard everything.

“What’s going on, Princess?” Shiro quickly asked, already getting ready to step in and help if she needed it.

“There’s an intruder on the ship.”

----------

Keith was suddenly surrounded by darkness, the wall supporting his back being the only guide for him as he moved to stand.

He stood in silence for a few moments, staring blindly into the space ahead of him, but he couldn’t hear any footsteps or signs of movement. Nobody was coming to check on him. Something’s wrong.

Instead, Keith was met with the sudden deafening sound of the lock mechanism deactivating in the door to his holding cell. A few more moments of waiting only solidified that his team wasn’t coming to tell him what was going on.

He left in a hurry. If his friends were in danger, he wasn’t going to stand by and do nothing.

The hallways were dark and silent, suddenly winding and never-ending now that Keith was in a rush. The only lights guiding him were the neon blue fixtures that were glowing with quintessence along the ship’s floors. The familiar hum of the AC ducts couldn’t be heard, but there should’ve been enough backup oxygen until somebody was able to get the electricity running again. Keith tried to slow his rapid breathing anyway, just in case.

He silently cursed how far away the holding cells were from the main layout of the ship after he took what felt like forever to get to where any action would be happening. The only sign of life was a slow shuffling and quiet curse from around a corner that he was approaching. Only one person in the Castle could have such a colorful vocabulary.

“Pidge?” He was asking before he had even made the turn at the end of the hallway.

“Keith?!” Pidge looked up in disbelief before wincing and clutching their leg to their chest. They were in an uncomfortable-looking position, half leaning against the wall and half sprawled out on the floor. The armor around their ankle seemed busted from what Keith could tell, and it must have been digging into the skin. It didn’t seem like they could walk or get up for that matter.

Keith kneeled down beside them to get a better look.

Pidge looked back up at him, obviously grateful to have somebody there with them. “How are-“ their eyes suddenly lit up,” Hunk cut the electric, so your cell unlocked!” Suddenly, they gripped Keith’s arm and twisted to face him as much as their injured leg would let them. “Keith, you need to listen. There’s been a breach. Allura and Coran stayed in the Bridge to get the ship's defenses raised in case of an outside attack. Shiro went with Hunk to the backup control room to try and keep the intruder from getting into any of the rooms. Lance and I were sent to find any straggling aliens and lead them to safety, but we were separated- and he- he has Lance. I know Lance can handle himself but… I’m worried. Please go help him, I don’t know how long it’ll take Hunk and Shiro to get back. Our communications were cut when the electricity was shut off, and we had agreed to all meet at the Bridge. Please, Keith.”

Before they could continue, Keith was pulling their arms over his shoulders and hoisting them up onto his back so he could hold on to their legs. Pidge started to protest, not enjoying piggybacking on Keith one bit.

“What are you doing?” They asked incredulously, struggling in his grip. “You have to help Lance!”

“I am,” Keith stated calmly, not giving in to Pidge’s protesting. “But first I’m dropping you off with the closest group of people on board so they can help you out of your armor.”

Pidge huffed in annoyance but gave up quickly once they realized that Keith wasn’t going to listen.

It didn’t take long before they came across a group of aliens huddled together in the training room. The doors were stuck in an open position, but the room was big enough to hide everyone if needed. A friendly Balmera gladly took Pidge off of Keith’s hands to tend to their injured leg.

Keith rushed to leave after that, his worry for Lance building itself up to a panic as he headed for the door. He had to skid to a stop, though, when Pidge called after him.

“They went in the direction of the dining hall! And Keith,” Pidge shouted from their spot on the floor, and they struggled to push themselves up from where they were laying on one of the sparring mats, “there’s something you should know about the intruder!”

But Keith was already gone, running down the hallway as fast as his aching legs would let him upon hearing what direction he should be headed in.

It wasn’t until he was passing the doorway of the dining room that Keith realized he probably should have waited to hear what Pidge was going to say. He slid to a stop and backtracked to hide behind the door frame where he watched from a distance.

Lance and Shiro hadn’t noticed him yet, despite being fairly close to the entrance. They were obviously deep in conversation about something.

Except, Pidge had said that Shiro went with Hunk to the backup control room. The person that was crowding Lance up against the wall with a stance that could only be perceived as a threat was not Shiro- couldn’t be Shiro. He had Shiro’s face, but he wasn’t the real thing. The only physical difference was his hair. The real Shiro had long since lost whatever color was left in his hair after Allura had revived him. This man was a spitting image of the Shiro Keith knew before he had left for the Quantum Abyss.

This Shiro was a clone.

Keith vaguely remembered being told that Honerva had named the clone Kuron. Keith wondered if this was the same Kuron that had infiltrated Voltron all those months ago, but then he recalled that Allura had used that Kuron’s body to return Shiro’s soul. The one ahead of him now must have been one that survived the demolition of Honerva’s base.

Luckily, Kuron didn’t look close to hurting Lance, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t planning on it. Keith was close enough that he could hear their conversation, so he decided it’d be best to stay back at first, especially because Lance still didn’t trust him at that moment. If the two did end up fighting, Keith would rush in to help Lance if he needed it. For now, he stayed in place and kept a close eye on Kuron’s hand in case he decided to activate it.

Kuron used his non-prosthetic hand to run a slow finger down the scar on Lance’s face and stopped when his index finger was at his cheek.

Keith gripped the doorway in anger, but Lance didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. His hand remained close to his side, where he seemed ready to activate his Bayard from his armor, but Kuron seemed to have already caught on. He pressed his finger harder into Lance’s cheek. “This healed better than I thought it would. I’m kind of disappointed it didn’t blind you.”

Lance scoffed. “It came pretty close if that makes you feel any better.”

“Hm,” Was all Kuron responded with, and it was almost too quiet for Keith to overhear.

Keith’s stomach suddenly dropped as he realized why Lance didn’t want anybody asking where the scar on his face had come from. Shiro would have never forgiven himself if he found out, and in turn, everyone else who hadn’t realized Shiro was cloned.

Kuron, unamused by Lance’s sass, took the hand that had been touching Lance’s face and slammed it against the wall beside his head. Keith took a panicked step forward, his breath stuck in his throat.

“You were always getting on my nerves; did you know that? All you ever did during my time here was act like an idiot and drag your team down. This scar was my payback.” Kuron was speaking down to Lance in a condescending tone, and Keith felt lightheaded- angry. He knew it was just a clone, and of course, Lance knew that too. But he couldn’t imagine how much harder it must have been hearing those words from somebody with Shiro’s face; with Shiro’s voice.

Lance didn’t seem nearly as infuriated as Keith felt when he responded. “Bit of an overdramatic reaction, don’t ya think?”

Kuron must have been at his limit. His metal arm came up quickly to wrap a hand around Lance’s throat and lift him up the wall. Keith’s eyes went wide as the blood rushed to Lance’s face. Kuron was going to choke him to death.

Keith knew he had to act quickly- Lance was too busy trying to pry the hand from his throat so he couldn’t reach for his Bayard. The problem was that Keith didn’t have a weapon either. They had confiscated his knife before locking him up. He had nothing to defend himself with.

He hated taking his eyes away from what could easily be Lance’s demise, but he had to search his surroundings quickly. One of the tables in front of him had an expensive vase set in the middle, probably a peace offering from one of the planets Voltron had visited for the alliance.

He made a mental note to apologize to Allura later before rushing forward to lift the vase and smash it against the table. He knew the sound was going to give him away, so he grabbed the biggest shard of glass he spotted first, clenching it tightly in his hand and not letting the pain of it hinder him.

Without letting himself hesitate, Keith ran at Kuron and stabbed him in the neck with as much force necessary to puncture the skin. He had to hold it there as Kuron struggled, not wanting to risk the clone removing it to cauterize his wound with his prosthetic.

It was horrible and bloody, but Kuron let go of his grip on Lance in an attempt to pull the glass from his neck. Keith fell to his knees at Lance’s side as soon as he hit the ground- already passed out from lack of oxygen. He let out a sigh of relief when he could feel labored breathing and a pulse, but then Kuron was falling to the floor in front of them.

Dead.

Soulless eyes pointed directly at Keith as if that image seared into his brain permanently was his karma. The consequences of his actions finally started to sink in, and the rest of the team came running into the room at that moment.

Shiro and Hunk were at their side first, Hunk checking Lance for injuries and Shiro grabbing Keith by the shoulders to bring him into a gentle hug. He must have noticed the regret building in Keith’s features because he was already speaking encouraging words next to his ear.

“It’s okay, Keith. I’m your brother, I’m right here. Listen to me, okay? You did nothing wrong. He was a clone.”

Keith was shaking uncontrollably, an anxiety attack on the brink of taking over his senses. He reciprocated Shiro’s embrace in an attempt to bring himself back down, but he could already tell it wasn’t going to work. “I- I still killed him. I killed somebody, Shiro. Clone or not… he wasn’t a robot. He bled the same as the rest of us! I murdered him.” He ended resolutely.

“And you saved Lance’s life, Keith. He could have been dead right now if it weren’t for you. You did the right thing and feeling guilty for it only proves that you’re human,” Shiro reassured him and tightened his grip as Keith made an attempt to follow Hunk, who was carrying Lance in his arms and leaving the room. “Come on, I’ll help you clean up and once you calm down you can visit Lance in the infirmary, okay?”

Keith could only muster the energy to nod as his brother helped him up from the floor.

Coran took a step towards Kuron’s slack body where it had collapsed into a bloody heap on the floor. Keith could hear him swallow hard before turning to Pidge. “We should examine his body. Maybe we can find something that will help us figure out how Lotor is corrupting quintessence, or even how to reverse it.”

Pidge nodded despite looking sick to their stomach but left to set up a station in another room as Allura and Coran started gathering supplies to clean up the mess.

Guilt infiltrated Keith like a virus. He knew that the person he had killed was the enemy- somebody sent to hurt his friends- but it didn’t undermine the fact that Kuron was a human- a human who was a replica of his brother but without his kindness.

He had destroyed Zarkon’s bots before, but now there was real, warm blood on his hands. Stopping the memory from replaying in his mind wasn’t going to be easy.

----------

Despite everything that had happened that day, Keith was still going strong after Shiro helped him to the shower and wrapped his hand afterward. The shallow cuts along his palms were the least of his worries at the moment. After some serious reassurances and bonding time with his brother, Keith needed to check on Lance too.

He was still unconscious when Keith made it to the infirmary.

Coran and Hunk were hovering over his body like flies, waiting for any sort of movement, but upon Keith’s entrance they backed off to give him space.

The first thing Keith did was wrap a gentle hand around Lance’s wrist, two fingers rested directly over the pulse there. He let out a slow breath. It had returned to a normal, steady rhythm.

Hunk approached quietly. He had probably guessed why Keith was analyzing Lance’s calm features- the soft movements of his breathing, the faint bruises forming on his neck. Hunk had always been observant. Keith wondered if he learned it from Lance.

“He would be thanking you right now if he were awake,” Hunk supplied.

Keith huffed in amusement. “With how things have been going between us, I highly doubt that.”

Hunk smiled anyway, not insulted by Keith’s words in the slightest. He stood closer now, but not enough to dislodge Keith’s hand on Lance’s wrist. “He just needs a reason, nothing major, but solid proof that he can trust you. Don’t take it the wrong way. When you left, Lance adapted to fill your space. Shiro didn’t handle the loss well, and Lance needed to recover faster than any of us because nobody else was willing to step up. He’s been our protector, the one who stays wary when the rest of us don’t. That instinct has saved us all on more than one occasion. Just, please, don’t hold it against him.” Hunk shuffled closer, obviously realizing that Keith was comfortable enough now to be approached. He rested a reassuring hand on Keith’s shoulder. “You have every right to be angry with him- hell, I’d be angry too and he’s my best friend- but he isn’t a bad person. He’s always going to make mistakes, he’s Lance, it comes with the title. But he does love you just like he loves the rest of us, he just can’t bring himself to drop all the barriers just yet. Not without full transparency, it’s all or nothing for him now.”

Keith didn’t show it in his features, but the tension leaving his muscles was enough for Hunk to notice his gratefulness. It was definitely what Keith needed to hear. He had slowly been losing hope that he and Lance would ever recover what they had before Keith had left.

Keith’s eyes flitted over Lance’s sleeping form one last time for good measure. “I’ve already forgiven him.”

----------

Later that night, Keith was escorted to the Bridge by Shiro. Everyone but an unconscious Lance had decided that Keith no longer had to be locked up for safety reasons, but Keith had walked himself there anyway and spent time resting on the cot despite the door being unlocked the entire time. He was being extra careful of his actions, hoping that it would all pay off once the evidence to prove his innocence presented itself.

Lance was awake when Keith and Shiro arrived, curled up in his control seat and staring with empty eyes at the floor in front of him. The time he had spent asleep hadn’t been enough to erase the clear signs of stress from his features. He didn’t say anything when Keith settled in across the room, and it may have been because his throat hurt, but Keith hoped that it was because he was done throwing accusations his way.

“Alright friends,” Coran kicked off the meeting, “It’s been a rough day for all of us, some more than others, but we can’t keep meandering around the subject. We have some obvious matters that need tending to, but we can’t do that when one of our team members is still suspected to be a traitor.”

The room was silent for a few moments, nobody wanting to be the first to state their opinion. The energy was running low between them, which was a strong contrast to the adrenaline running through Keith’s veins at that moment.

Pidge cleared their throat quietly, their voice cracking as they went to respond. “Coran, Allura, and I thoroughly inspected Kuron. We knew already because Allura had to return Shiro’s soul to a clone’s body, that the clones do have a beating heart and functioning minds like any normal being. But upon inspecting the… wound in his neck, we found this.” Everyone turned to watch as Pidge held up a small chip, fashioned similarly to Galra technology. “Aside from the difference in hair color, this is the only thing we could find that proved Kuron to be a clone of Shiro.”

The proposal hung heavy in the air until Shiro was putting his foot down angrily. “We are not going to cut Keith open just to prove he’s innocent!”

“I don’t want it to happen either, but if it settles things between us, then what other choice do we have?! We can’t keep waiting around for another opportunity!” Pidge shot back defensively.

“Hurting him because we can’t settle our arguments is so uncalled for, Pidge, I can’t believe you’d even suggest it!” Hunk interjected.

“I wouldn’t call it ‘cutting him open’,” Coran informed in an attempt to diminish the fire between everyone, “All we’d need to do is make a small incision at the nape of his neck, with this scalpel.”

Allura looked at the blade in Coran’s hand with disbelief. “Surely you can’t believe that you’re helping the situation.”

Keith grew increasingly tired of their arguing and was even more irked that nobody thought to stop and ask him his opinion. He spared a quick glance across the room, where Lance was now resting his head against the back of the chair and blinking slowly. It seemed he didn’t want to waste what little strength he had on getting involved. The deep purple splotches at his throat were hard to ignore now, and they made Keith think; doubt.

If he hadn’t been locked up, maybe he would have made it to Lance quick enough, maybe the entire scenario could have been avoided. Maybe he could have stopped Pidge from getting hurt, and maybe everybody wouldn’t be arguing with each other.  

Maybe it was his hero complex that pushed him to take the scalpel from Coran’s hand and cut through the back of his own neck.

“Keith!” Shiro shouted, jumping into action and holding a hand over the wound to stop the bleeding. Pidge exclaimed in horror, and Hunk turned to them to block their vision. Allura and Coran cringed back in discomfort, obviously not used to witnessing such sacrificial actions. Lance was halfway out of his chair until Keith held a hand up in reassurance, but only before realizing it was the hand holding the scalpel, which he quickly dropped to the floor. Lance slowly sat back down but was more alert than before- ready to stand up at a moment’s notice.

Pidge was staring down at the chip in their hands when they called out to Shiro. “I can’t do it, Shiro. Please,” they asked, and Shiro knew what they were pleading for. He hesitated but nodded back at them. “It should only be about half an inch deep, it’s thin and fragile, so be careful!”

There were a few moments where Keith prepared himself for what was about to happen, but the pain never came. “Do it, Shiro,” he urged, one hand gripping the fabric of his sweatpants while the other held his hair out of the way for Shiro, “If you don’t, I will.”

Keith grit his teeth hard. He had received plenty of injuries during his life as a Paladin, so making the cut wasn’t what hurt. The white-hot pain that shot through him now was due to Shiro pulling the wound open and placing shaking fingers into the back of his neck. His jaw was tensed tight to hold in the profanities he wanted to let out. Worrying the others further was not something he wanted to do.

Shiro must have been looking for less than a minute, but the pain felt horrible and never-ending. Keith tried not to picture the look on Shiro’s face at that moment.

The second his brother came up empty-handed, he ripped his fingers from Keith’s wound and proceeded to cover the cut to stop the blood from running down Keith’s back and soaking his shirt. “There’s nothing there, are you all happy now!? Keith isn’t a clone, and he isn’t working for the Empire! If you’re all done being assholes, you can join us in medical where I’ll be stitching my brother’s neck back together!”

Keith could only get a quick look at everyone’s faces, all pale white in shocked horror before he was being led away by Shiro’s gentle hands. Keith wanted nothing more than to hold Hunk and Pidge in his arms so he could tell them that it wasn’t their fault, that they shouldn’t blame themselves, but there was a more pressing matter to tend to at that moment. The conversation would have to happen later.

“This is going to scar,” Shiro said mindlessly, and Keith thought that his hands might be shaking more than his own as he felt the press of the needle against his skin.

“It’s fine. My hair will cover it anyway,” Keith spoke, and he was being honest. He didn’t care if it scarred, he knew what he was signing up for when he decided to fight in the war.

After a few more minutes of silent concentration on Shiro’s part, he tied off the threading to Keith’s stitches and placed his hands heavily on the table that Keith was sitting on. He looked serious and pissed; ready to give Keith a lecture that he really didn’t want to listen to at the moment. “What were you thinking, Keith?”

He sounded worn-out, and Keith’s heart clenched in guilt.

“I was thinking that this was the one chance that’s presented itself for me to prove that I’m the same person I was before I left, Shiro. It’s not like it killed me. I’m okay! A little bit of time in a healing pod will heal this just fine, and I don’t care if it leaves a scar.”

Shiro met him with a look of disbelief. “You shouldn’t have to cut open your own neck to prove that. The team should have had faith in you from the beginning. You shouldn’t have to put yourself in danger just to gain their trust.”

“Shiro,” Keith started, putting one leg up on the table so he could turn around completely and look his brother in the eyes. “You were cloned. You nearly died, and the Empire made clones of you that infiltrated the ship and gained the trust of everyone on the team. Every single one of them blames themselves for not noticing sooner, and so they are trying to learn from their mistakes. They are being cautious. Things could have turned out way worse than they did. Everyone could have died, this is nothing,” Keith spoke sincerely, referring to the now-closed wound on the back of his neck.

Shiro looked down momentarily, his head hanging below his shoulders as he stared at the floor in frustration. When he met Keith’s eyes again, some of the exasperation had seeped from his features.

“Fine.” He sounded defeated. “But this isn’t going to happen again. If anybody else accuses you of something you didn’t do, you and I are taking the first available ship to the Blade of Marmora, and we’ll fight alongside Krolia. I can’t stand by and let you self-destruct to prove a point anymore.”

“Deal,” Keith stated quickly. Hopefully, he wouldn’t need to prove himself again. He just wanted all of this to be over with so he could continue helping his team fight in the war.

Chapter Text

Lance was an impossible person to find if he didn’t want to be found. Keith had searched in what felt like every room on the ship before deciding to give up for the day. It’s not like Lance could avoid him forever; eventually, Allura would call a meeting and Lance would have no choice but to attend. Keith would corner him if he had to. He was tired of this weird avoidance they’ve been doing since the incident on Merkatora.

Besides, talking was the one thing that truly kept Keith feeling grounded amidst everything; amidst being stuck in the past and running into wall after wall of things he didn’t understand about this moment in time. It was a heavy contrast to the Keith from two months ago, who didn’t like speaking much at all. It left him wondering who had changed more in the time that had passed, him or his team, but he regretted that thought instantly.

He had no right to compare his small grievances to what his team had gone through. They had suffered, hurt, and grieved, and Keith refused to ever let himself forget that.

“Keith!”

Pidge came sprinting down the hall at full speed, Hunk not far behind but at a slower pace with significantly longer legs. Keith tried not to laugh at the sight of them.

“Pidge, Hunk! I’m glad you found me because I was actually trying to make rounds so I could talk to everyone today.”

Pidge didn’t stop until they were a few feet away and attempted skidding to a stop but nearly slammed into Keith instead if not for his reflex to grab their shoulders. Looking down at them, Keith could see the prominent dark circles under their eyes and pink-tinted nose. I should have talked to them sooner.

But then Pidge was pulling him into an aggressive hug that he didn’t shy away from. He’d hug Pidge forever if it meant they would forgive themself for what happened. Hunk wasn’t far behind as he made a beeline for the two of them, wrapping them up in warmth and familiarity. The hug felt more genuine than any he’d received since being back.

It wasn’t long until Keith could feel Pidge’s tears through the fabric of his shirt and Hunk’s sympathy crying with every shake of his broad shoulders. They didn’t have to say the words for Keith to hear them loud and clear. He gripped the smallest Paladin tighter and rested his head atop theirs. “I haven’t thanked you guys enough for standing by me through all of this,” Keith mumbled, his voice wobbling through his words, “it couldn’t have been easy, after what you’ve both been through.”

“You’d do the same for us.” Hunk defended.

Except, Keith didn’t think that was true, at least not if he had been in their position, and not if he was the same person he had been before meeting his mom. The current Keith would for sure, and he decided that he preferred it that way. He enjoyed trusting first and asking questions later.

It wasn’t until that moment that Keith realized just how important his role as the Red Paladin had been; the Paladin who was cautious when nobody else wanted to be, and the Paladin who put the safety of the team before anything else- before his own safety.

But hadn’t Lance been doing that all along? Using himself to shield the others from danger? No wonder the Red Lion chose him so quickly, he had already been half of a Red Paladin the entire time, it only took two years of mistakes and regrets to shape him into the person Keith used to be. Distant, temperamental, and hollow. Just a shell in a suit of armor.

Keith had been that shell, had built those walls, and Lance had slowly torn them down with his kindness; with his uncontainable need to make friends with everyone around him. Didn’t Keith owe him the same in return?

Even if he didn’t, he sure as hell wanted to.

----------

Shiro, Allura, and Coran were huddled around a table in the Bridge, papers scattered in piles with the chip Pidge had extracted from Kuron set in the center, carefully distanced from anything else. Keith couldn’t help but stare at it as he approached the group. It was as if he could physically feel the corrupted quintessence radiating from it, and he wondered if anyone else could too.

He didn’t dare ask though. There was no way he was going to risk raising anyone’s suspicions again.

“Hey…everyone.” Keith chimed in during the lull in their conversation.

Shiro looked at him sympathetically, knowingly. The two brothers had already talked for hours after Keith’s scalpel incident. It was the first time in days that they could be alone and converse without interruption, especially when nobody wanted to piss off Shiro further. Keith himself couldn’t even recall a time that Shiro had acted so protectively of him.

No, Shiro wasn’t who he needed to talk to at that moment. There were only three people in the team left that Keith wanted to clear the waters with, and they all just so happened to be the ones that had questioned his loyalty. He was expecting the worst, but looked Allura and Coran head-on, nonetheless.

“I uh, was kind of hoping we could start over. At least… back to before I left, or even just to when I got back. Anything is better than being seen as a threat, honestly.” Keith admitted.

Coran looked to Allura, obviously ready to agree with whatever her decision may be. Keith didn’t blame him; she was his princess after all.

Allura however, Keith was worried about. She’s always been known to be harsh for the sake of her cause. Every tick that passed in pure silence, Keith grew even antsier.

“Keith,” she started, and Keith watched Shiro closely to make sure he didn’t act out at whatever she was going to say, “It’s going to take some time, but I think I speak for Voltron as a whole when I say this. I don’t see any other reason to worry about your presence here, and if you’ll accept, I’d like for you to retake your rightful place as the Red Paladin.”

Keith was too stunned to respond.

“I’ve found that I’m not nearly as helpful with my role as the Blue Paladin as I am fighting from the Castle of Lions with Coran. I’m sure Lance would be more than happy to return to his former position, and with some training, I’m confident you will catch up with the rest of the team in no time.” Allura assured, and Coran looked at her with barely contained pride.

“I– yes! Yeah, that would be great! Thank you, Allura, seriously. There’s nothing I want more than to help your team in this war again.”

“Our team, Keith. You’ll always be a part of it. We just ran into a bit of a…mishap, to put it lightly, but we’re around it now. I think we’ve all deserved some time to heal, literally and figuratively,” she stated grimly, “I’ll call a meeting within the next few days to talk about the change in positions. You should rest in the meantime.”

“Yeah, of course. Thank you, Allura.”

Retake the role of Red Paladin.

Keith couldn’t believe it. He had just jumped several rungs on his ladder of expectations.

There were going to be some setbacks, some adjustments, but he just didn’t want to think about them at that moment. He was finally going to be useful again.

----------

Keith was nearly ready for bed when Kosmo alerted him, standing still and quiet as he faced the door of the bedroom. It was something he had taught the space wolf during his time in the Abyss; to stand at attention towards whatever direction he was hearing suspicious noises.

However, Keith already had a suspicion of who might be on the other side of the door, so he opened it quickly.

Lance was standing there, arms crossed, and leaned back against the wall on the other side of the hallway. He seemed surprised, as if he hadn’t expected Keith to confront him, eyes blown wide and slowly moving to stand as if he were going to book it.

“Yes, I forgive you, Lance.” Keith threw out there as he went to lean against the doorframe, facing Lance head-on.

“What?” Lance asked, confused.

“You don’t have to keep following me around. If anything, someone should keep watch over you, you’re the one who’s apparently got vendettas with evil, murderous clones.”

Lance sputtered, “Wha- how did you even know I was following you?!”

“Because, I’ve been trying to find you all day, Lance, so I was already looking. You just so happen to be really good at disappearing and reappearing around the ship. As soon as I find out what hallways you use, you’re not gonna be able to hide from me anymore.”

He took a step back, leaving the doorway wide open as an invitation for Lance to enter. The other seemed confused about something but accepted Keith’s offer either way. Kosmo immediately ran to Lance’s side.

“Why are you being so nice? And why were you looking for me all day?” Lance began questioning again.

Keith joined Lance on the floor where he was giving Kosmo much-needed love and attention.

“I thought we were done with the interrogating,” Keith joked. It earned him an unamused look from Lance. “Right. I didn’t think I was being nice. I’m just… being myself? And I was looking for you because I wanted to apologize, for being reckless with that scalpel, and for everything else. I’m just glad things are cleared up now, but I still thought I would say sorry. I also didn’t mean to scare you with the whole Hunk situation, I swear I had good intentions- “

“Keith,” Lance interrupted by resting a hand on his shoulder but decided against it and went back to running his fingers through Kosmo’s fur. The dog had laid down between the two of them and rested his head on Keith’s knee. “Stop it. Stop apologizing. I think half of our interactions since you’ve been back were apologies, and it turns out you weren’t even the one in the wrong. Which, by the way, you are being uncharacteristically calm about! You never used to be this okay with people wrongly accusing you!”

“Hm. I guess you’re just misremembering me; it’s been two years for you, not me, remember?”

“I wouldn’t forget you that easily.”

Keith went quiet at that. It felt unexpectedly comforting to hear such simple words after everything he’d been through since he’d returned. Maybe it was what he needed to hear this whole time.

A few moments passed before the doubt took control of Keith’s thoughts- the doubt that he had been holding back this whole time. “Was that true when you and half the team wanted to get rid of me? Because it really didn’t feel that way,” he admitted, staring at the floor as he said it because he couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact at that moment.

Lance looked guiltier than ever upon hearing those words and went to speak again but Keith was quicker, “Listen, I get it. I probably would have done the same thing in your situation- I know I would have, but I have to be honest, some of the accusations hurt. I just kind of wish you had a little more trust in me. Just- I know it’s not that simple! I wouldn’t know what two years of experience could do to a person in your position, would I?”

Lance’s hands froze as he stared back at Keith. Apparently, it was long enough for Kosmo to huff in frustration at the loss of contact.

“It doesn’t matter if you’d do the same thing. In this reality, I’m the one who hurt you, and you didn’t deserve that, and now I owe you an apology. But yes, it was true, even when I thought you were a clone. It’s part of the reason I didn’t aim that first bullet at your head, other than not wanting to upset the others, and the small part of me that hoped it was really you when you stepped out of that ship.”

Lance’s voice sounded small and broken, which is what really pushed Keith to believe his words. A thought he hadn’t considered formed in his mind just then.

If Keith was in Lance’s position, and their roles were reversed, Keith would be livid if there were even a possibility that the Empire had cloned Lance after finding out that he had died- not respecting a life that was lost due to protecting the universe. Especially if he had already mourned his friend and then had to see his face everywhere, with no real evidence that it’s really him. Keith would have done way worse in Lance’s position, and he knew it.

Besides, Lance had always cared about the real Keith, and he was clear about it the entire time. None of the things that Lance had done or said were ever directed at the real Keith. That included the accusations he made.

Keith looked down at his lap, where he had been subconsciously ripping at the skin around his nails. “You’re right, and I’m just being insecure, don’t listen to me. But thank you- for the apology. I forgive you.”

Suddenly, Lance is bringing Keith and Kosmo into a tight group hug, squeezing the life out of both of them and trapping Keith’s hands against his own body. He couldn’t have returned the favor if he wanted to- but he found that he really did want to.

Lance’s head was still resting near Keith’s when he spoke again.

“I gave you every right to feel that way, but just know that I’m going to make it up to you somehow,” he said genuinely, but then pulled back and held Keith by the shoulders as he stared at him with cold eyes, “but seriously, if you apologize one more time, I will break you apart… and steal your dog.”

Keith laughed genuinely at that and shrugged Lance’s hands off his shoulders. “I’m pretty sure he likes you more anyway.”

“Not possible,” Lance stated, then gave Kosmo once last aggressive pet and Keith a quick smile before standing back up. Keith suddenly felt cold where he was sitting.

“So, are you done stalking me?” Keith teased.

Lance scoffed as he headed towards the door. “You wish I was stalking you,” he joked, but then froze in the open doorway. He didn’t turn back around as he spoke to Keith, “I’m just… not good at this whole apologizing thing, so I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

And then Keith was alone again, or at least as alone as he could be with a giant space wolf taking up half of the room’s space. It was quiet, and Keith didn’t like it. Quiet meant he was left with his thoughts, and his thoughts were reminding him of Shiro’s lifeless eyes and bleeding neck.

Sleep. Sleep would help. So long as he didn’t have nightmares again.

And he didn’t, at least not for long. Glowing yellow eyes quickly shifted to a soft, welcoming blue, and the burning blood on his hands was replaced with a warm grip on both of his shoulders. It was the first restful sleep Keith had gotten in a long time.

Chapter Text

Keith hadn’t expected to be assigned to a mission so soon after everything that had happened, and he wasn’t going to complain, but now he really wanted to.

The red lion was a sauna, every light flashing and every alert blaring. Keith had long abandoned the controls, letting the lion float freely through space as he tried tending to Hunk’s wound. Every passing second that Hunk remained unconscious and every passing second that the team failed to give Keith comprehensible instructions pushed him closer to a panic attack.

The only thing keeping him present was the fact that he was pretty certain Hunk had also been poisoned. The knife was lodged deep in his lower abdomen, and Keith couldn’t even imagine the damage it caused as he had struggled to get him back into Red.

Shiro spoke fast and his words clipped occasionally through Red’s comms. “Keith?! Keith- you have to keep talking to us so we know what’s happening, I know you’re scared but any information could be vital right now.” He had stayed behind on the Castle Ship while the other four paladins went on what was supposed to be a low-risk mission. A small Galra cruiser with just a few captive aliens in need of rescue. 

Everything was going fine. 

Keith and Hunk acted as a distraction in the Red Lion while Pidge and Lance snuck in through an open hangar using the Green Lion’s camouflage. They weren’t far behind once the two had made it close enough to the prisoners without being caught. Keith and Hunk were providing cover fire as the aliens were lead to the safety of the Green Lion. 

Pidge and Lance had made it out with everyone.

It wasn’t until they were supposed to be heading back to Red that Keith and Hunk had run into trouble. 

From what Keith could remember from past meetings, Lotor was leading the Galra empire in the absence of his father, and so it wasn’t entirely surprising whenever the Paladins ran headfirst into something they weren’t expecting. During his time with Voltron, Lotor had learned what they knew of the Empire’s ship layouts, guard routines, and travel routes. It only made sense that he would make changes to throw them off. 

While Pidge and Shiro had tried to account for any potential wrenches Lotor could throw into their plans, what they hadn’t considered was a combat-trained Galra fighter stationed on such an insignificant cruiser. 

One that was apparently armed with a goddamn poison-soaked weapon.

Keith recalled the meeting that took place just yesterday. Everyone had come to an agreement about the theory of Lotor using what was salvaged from Honerva’s destroyed clone site in an attempt to throw the Paladins off. It was safest for them to assume the clone Keith killed wasn’t the last, and definitely not the last Lotor would be sending their way. 

On top of that, Allura revealed her decision to return the position of Red Paladin to Keith. He had only been slightly worried that there was going to be disagreements. Voltron worked, cracks or not. He wasn’t going to allow himself to feel surprised if anybody was worried he’d interfere with what they worked so hard to build in his absence. 

He was more-so shocked when nobody interjected, not even Lance, who stated that he was happy to return to the Blue Lion. Keith had to remind himself that Lance wouldn’t just give up the Red Lion to him as a form of apology. He wouldn’t allow Keith a position in Voltron again if he thought it would mean putting the team in danger. He trusted Keith.

He would bet that Lance was regretting his decision right about now.

Keith was quickly spiraling, focusing in on all of the things he knew he shouldn’t. The paleness of Hunk’s skin, the dents in his paladin armor, the tear in his under-suit where the blade was lodged in his middle. How could Voltron have ever formed an alliance with somebody willing to command something like this? From what Keith had known about Lotor before the Abyss mission, he didn’t seem nearly as bad as Zarkon. 

“Keith?!”

Right, responding to Shiro. 

“I- ugh,” Keith tried, but the sight of fresh blood on his hands for the second time that week was enough to make him feel sick, “I could be wrong, but I think this knife is poisoned, Shiro.” 

Coran’s voice sounded through the comms next. “Can you describe what the poison looks like, number four?” 

Looking closer, Keith couldn’t see anything on the knife itself, at least, not on the part of it that wasn’t lodged into Hunk’s flesh. “No… but his skin, the skin around the entry point- it’s turning blue. 

Coran went quiet, and Keith could hear Shiro trying to get an explanation out of him. 

“Coran?” Keith pleaded. 

“Are you able to look into his eyes?” Coran asked suddenly. 

Keith shifted closer to Hunk’s head and cringed as he lifted the top of his right eyelid with a blood-soaked thumb. “They, uh, his pupils are red? Like when you take a picture of someone with the flash on?” Keith was unsure whether that description would land with Coran, but he seemed to react before Keith could even finish his first sentence. 

There are sounds of shuffling before Shiro’s voice came through again. “Keith, is Hunk’s wound bleeding?”

Keith laughed in disbelief. “No shit! At least, it was- a lot. It seems like the position he’s in now has helped stop most of it,” he had to stop himself from imagining Kuron’s limp body as he took in the puddle of blood Hunk was laying in, “There’s so much blood, Shiro,” he whispered.

“Did you get any of his blood on you?” Shiro asked, the forced composure audible in his voice.

Keith froze. “Why are you saying that like it’d be bad if I did?”

Shiro said something under his breath that sounded like a curse and then Keith really started to worry. The first thing he had done after getting Hunk into Red was deactivated the gloves and helmet to his Marmoran suit so he’d be able to help with the wound if needed, so yeah, he had a bit of blood on him.

“We should be able to get to you both before Hunk loses too much blood,” Coran spoke again, “but Keith, you will have to find and administer an antidote you’ve never used before, do you think you can do it, boy?” 

An antidote? “Sur- yes! Anything if it will help him! Where is it?” 

“We started keeping a backup emergency medical kit in each of the Lions after… anyway, it should be stored with the rations. A syringe of maroon liquid is what you are looking for.” Coran explained, and Keith reluctantly left Hunk’s side to search through Red’s storage. “Be careful with it, there is only one on board each Lion, but at the rate it seems to be spreading, there should be enough for the both of you.” 

Keith stopped again, which he found he really needed to stop doing so much because now was absolutely not the time. His hand hovered above the syringe nestled inside the medical kit, the liquid a dark amber one moment and a blinding red the next, but it was definitely maroon when Keith squinted. 

“It’s contagious, then,” Keith guessed. 

“Through blood, yes, if it comes into contact with skin,” he spoke, and Keith couldn’t stand hearing Coran sound so upset. “Shiro and Lance are headed to you now in the Black Lion, Allura is making sure they stay on track while Pidge provides backup in the Green Lion just in case we were followed. 

Right, nothing to do now but wait for rescue and administer this-

“Coran, this is not a regular syringe.” 

“Yes, it is an Olkarian syringe,” Coran informed, and Keith could almost hear the eagerness return to his voice as he readied to begin a lecture. 

“Where are the instructions for this thing?!” Keith interrupted. 

“Right, I did warn that you have never used one of these before. Stay calm number four! I will help you through this step by step.” 

Keith growled in frustration. “There really aren’t instructions?” He turned the syringe around in his hand. After looking closely, he could definitely tell that it was Olkari tech. It was still syringe-shaped, but it lacked a push mechanism. Instead the were a few buttons and a dial. Opposite to the vial of maroon liquid was a different chamber with clear liquid. There were two needles, and it seemed that either could retract into itself; interchangeable. 

“After our first encounter with this particular poison, every Paladin was taught how to use the Olkari syringe, as well as given proper training on how to help the poison victim. I am very sorry son, no written instructions. Don’t suppose you would know how to read the Olkari language anyhow! Now, you are going to want to make sure the knob in the center is set exactly in the center, be careful not to jostle it out of place or this will not work.” 

“Is that another thing everyone else accomplished while I was gone?” Keith asked bitterly as he spun the dial. His hands were shaking, and his hair kept getting in his eyes, and he kept getting blood on the syringe but he didn’t want to wipe off his hands out of fear that it would only spread it further and speed up the process, “learning different alien languages?” 

Coran didn’t catch on to the sarcasm, of course. “Nope, just Pidge, I believe. Although, back when Lance was still as flirty as a Mer, I recall he learned a few words of another language just to impress an alien he was interested in.” 

“Why am I not surprised? Okay… I think I got it Coran.” 

“You are supposed to know, number four.”

“Okay, I got it. What’s next?” Keith rushed. Hunk was starting to shift around despite still being completely passed out, which could not be a good sign. 

“Now, you want to have both needles at the ready, you are going to be injecting both sides at the same time. Make sure the needles are set in place by the safeties on both sides of the syringe; they should look like little red squares. You do not have to do anything if they are already set.” 

“Right, they are,” Keith confirmed. 

“Be patient now, Keith,” Coran warned, “you are going to insert the needles as close to the wound as you can get without removing the knife-” 

Keith did. He pressed both points right into Hunk’s skin where dark brown had began to turn bright blue. 

“-then when you press both of the large buttons on the base of the syringe at the same time-“

Keith held down on the buttons and sighed in relief as he watched both liquids begin to disappear into Hunk’s skin.

“-press them again right away so that the syringe delivers exactly half a dose,” Coran finished. 

“Oh,” Keith said dumbly and watched as the liquid kept going, even as he pressed the buttons over and over again. 

“What do you mean by ‘oh’, number four?! Please tell me you did not actually do the steps as I explained them! I specifically asked you to be patient! I was speaking in future tense for a reason!” Coran shouted, his voice crackling as it came through the comms. 

Keith bristled at the sound, but calmly pulled the empty syringe from Hunk’s skin and set it safely back in its packaging. As he turned back around, his vision swam, and the interior of the Red Lion seemed to melt before he blinked it away. Everything was the same, just flashing lights and empty space ahead of them. It’s too hot in here. “Coran, please, just tell me what this means.” 

He still sounded offended by Keith’s inability to follow directions. “It depends, give me an update and I will let you know my theory.” 

Keith lifted Hunk’s eyelid again. “His pupil’s are back to normal,” he said, then nearly toppled over when he sat down again, “the blue is still there but it’s not glowing or spreading anymore.” 

“Right, he should be okay now. It seems the Black Lion is close enough that we will be able to get Hunk back in time to remove the weapon and repair the wound! There is another syringe onboard the Black Lion waiting for you, boy, how are you holding up?” Coran asked.

Keith sat for a moment, assessing his own physical state, but apparently too much time had passed, because what had felt like mere seconds for Keith was enough to send Coran into a panic. 

“Number four, stay with me!” He shouted, and apparently it had scared Allura into joining him. 

“They are not far now,” she reassured. “I have urged them not to use the comms in case it triggers the delirium.” 

“Delirium?” Keith asked, “Like- hallucinations?” 

“Right, Keith,” Allura responded. Her voice was a soothing balm to his mind compared to Coran’s, “I am not sure what Coran was able to explain for you, but this poison was manufactured; it originated from the flor de luna, or moonflower, which Pidge told us is a flower native to Earth as well- the symptoms are just as easy to treat as they are here. Although, when laced with corrupted quintessence- it is a bit harder to combat.” 

Fighting through waves of dizziness, Keith shuts his eyes tight because Red’s flashing lights were starting to remind him of a fire he saw in his mother’s memories while they were in the Abyss together; when he witnessed a flashback of his father’s death through his mother’s eyes. “Why do you only have one antidote on each Lion if this poison is so dangerous? Obviously Lotor has his hands on it,” he asked.

“Unfortunately, we lack the main… ingredient, to make more. And yes, Lotor indeed has his hands on this poison. He is the one who made it,” Allura explained. 

Of course! Because when has Lotor not been the overall source of their problems? When it wasn’t him, it was his maniacal family that’s been dead set on not letting Voltron save the universe. 

“Awesome,” Keith spoke weakly, the heat inside Red growing unbearable. He let his arms fall limp at his sides as he felt sweat trying to make it’s way into his still-closed eyes. “So the hallucination, delirium? What do we do about that?”

“Shiro and Lance are on their way now, remember?” Allura reminded him, showing her patience.

“Right. What does it mean if they don’t make it on time?” 

“Do you feel dizzy? Restless?” Coran cut in to ask.

“Very,” Keith put simply, then attempted to stand and had to lean against the pilot chair to hold himself up. 

“Please, sit down and take deep breaths Keith. The poison should not be acting this quickly so you must be overexerting yourself,” Allura warned. 

“Allura,” Coran spoke in a quieter voice than usual, but Keith could still hear him clearly enough, “it could be his Galra genes. He already has high levels of quintessence so it may be acting faster.” 

The comms were quiet for a few moments, and Keith could only hear the alarms and his heart beating wildly in his chest. Everything felt too hot, and sounded too loud, and all he wanted to do was break something. His grip on the chair probably would have done damage if the Lions weren’t built out of metal. 

“Right, Keith, look around for a rope, straps, extra seatbelts, anything,” Allura spoke quickly.

Keith looked around frantically, but there wasn’t anything visible. He dragged his feet over to the storage again as fast as his feverish, clumsy body would let him. “Why am I looking for rope? What exactly am I about to hallucinate?” Keith asked, fear clear in his voice. No rope, but there were some handcuffs thrown haphazardly at the bottom of a miscellaneous box. Probably the same ones he took off of Lance when he got himself trapped to a tree and let the Blue Lion be stolen. 

“I will explain the hallucinations as soon as you tell me you’ve- you’ve killed Hunk.” 

Keith tripped on his way back to the pilot chair, but his hands weren’t quick enough, nothing was. His whole body felt sluggish, like it was responding slower than his brain wanted it to. He fell face first into the metal floor. 

Hunk’s legs had tripped him. He hadn’t even seen Hunk’s body there. Hunk, still unconscious on the floor, knife still lodged in Hunk’s abdomen. Hunk didn’t seem okay. Hunk had bled a lot. Maybe if Keith removed the knife from Hunk’s-

“KEITH!” 

He pulled his hand off of the knife. 

“I’m here,” He croaked, slowly crawling backwards from Hunk’s body. 

What the fuck.  

Allura sounded out of breath, “It is really important that you keep responding, Keith. We have no idea what is happening on your end unless you tell us, okay?”

“O-kay,” he tried, but it felt like his voice was slowly giving up on him too. He crawled back over to the pilot chair and used the handcuffs to attach himself to the arm.

Curling up into a tight ball on the floor, Keith felt like he might throw up. He licked his lips and tasted blood. He must have broken his nose when he tripped. 

“Have you restrained yourself?” Allura asked quietly.

“Yes,” was all Keith could manage to say, but Allura already knew he wanted answers. 

She cleared her throat. “The poison is meant to latch onto the nervous system. It slowly spreads and takes control; the corrupted quintessence is what makes it hard to treat, the moonflower is what causes the delirium. The agitation, the hallucinations, the violence. Lotor created it to control his enemies quickly and end them just the same. He did not present the idea to us that way, but we knew what he was implying would be disastrous, and so we did not agree to help him.” 

Keith looked over at Hunk’s unmoving body and shivered. With Voltron’s help, how much more powerful could this poison have been? How weaponized? Keith had already just tried to kill one of his best friends. 

“The results were not exactly what he was hoping for. Luna Poison does not give a person actual control of another being, like Honerva’s cloning chip, or Zarkon’s brainwashing. It is quick acting, yes, but it makes the victim kill blindly, and makes them just as careless. Lotor accidentally created a bomb. Those infected kill anything with a heartbeat, friend or foe, and sadly that includes themselves- it could be prevented but the body will eventually shut down trying to fight off a poison that cannot be killed, essentially dying from exhaustion. Unless they have an antidote, of course."

So, did that mean if Keith couldn't reach Hunk, he'd turn on himself? Lotor was a sick and twisted person. 

" Only about five doboshes now, Keith. Keith?!” 

“Here, Allura.”

Though he wasn’t sure for how much longer. 

He was pretty sure Hunk wasn’t actually sat up and staring at him from across Red’s cockpit at that moment but the poison was trying really hard to convince him he was. 

“I suppose silence is better than screaming,” Allura said.

“No!” Keith shouted louder than he meant to, “Don’t let me go quiet, please.” 

He was quiet when he almost caused Hunk to bleed out. 

“Four doboshes. Are you seeing things yet? You do not have to describe them if you think it will make them worse.” 

Keith turned to face Hunk fully, and it was a bad idea. The poison held him there like a vise-grip. Hunk was fully awake now, crawling towards Keith with the very knife that he’d been stabbed with. He was bleeding from his wound, from his mouth, his nose, his eyes, and Keith couldn’t get away! 

He pulled at the handcuff trapping his arm to the chair and kicked his feet wildly in Hunk’s direction. Hunk, who was supposed to be his best friend, and was now coming at him with a knife! After everything Keith did to help him! 

“Get the fuck away from me! I’ll kill you, asshole!” Keith landed a solid kick to Hunk’s face, but it didn’t seem to deter him. 

Hunk slashed at him with the knife, and Keith had nowhere to dodge. There was solid chair behind him and he wasn’t going to get the cuffs off with his strength.

With his strength.

Keith shifted into his Galra form, and it happened surprisingly quick, as if his body was waiting for it. His skin turned a violet shade of purple faster than it ever had, his fangs felt too big for his mouth, and his claws came out sharp- ready to pierce. 

He dragged them across Hunk’s face in a quick swipe and kicked him hard enough in the abdomen to send him backwards. 

He needed to move. Keith needed to get free.

He yanked hard at the handcuffs, pulling at the metal with his free hand and bending his wrist at odd angles in an attempt to get free. 

“Allura! I’m fine! Let me out, LET ME OUT!” He shouted, but he could no longer hear her over the alarms, or his heartbeat. They were both pounding loudly in his ears. 

A sharp stab to the side of Keith’s neck prompted him to lash out, his hand swinging defensively and catching skin with his claws. “Hunk, you piece of-“ 

But there was Hunk, unconscious on the floor, the knife still keeping his body from bleeding out. Right where Keith left him. 

He could feel his muscles slacken, his rage simmer. 

The alarms were suddenly silenced, and the flashing lights turned off, and Keith felt like he could breathe again as he looked up at Lance.

Everything was calm.

The energy was sapped from Keith alongside the poison, and he slumped back down on the floor, his arm held awkwardly above his head from the handcuffs. When Lance kneeled down in front of him, Keith could see a thin line of blood on his cheek that crossed right through his vertical scar. 

“I hurt you,” he said brokenly, then slapped Lance’s arm away as he wiped the blood from Keith’s upper lip with his thumb, “What’s wrong with you?! I could still be contagious!” 

“What’s wrong with you?” Lance shot back, inspecting Keith’s nose, “You’re in here fighting ghosts,” he joked.

“Ugh,” Keith groaned, shutting his eyes in defeat at it all, “this is so humiliating.” 

“I’m the last person you should be embarrassed about this with,” Lance reassured. He pulled out his Bayard and used it to deactivate the lock mechanism on the handcuffs. “Good thing you completely forgot about your Marmora blade, huh?” 

It was then that Keith remembered he hadn’t returned out of his Galra form. Still completely embarrassed, he willed his human features to resurface, but nothing happened.

With both hands free, Keith grabbed Lance by the shoulders. 

“I’m stuck.” 

Lance gave him a weird look. “Uh, no, you’re not, that was like, the whole point.” He held up the empty handcuffs for emphasis before setting them aside. 

“That’s not what I meant,” Keith said loudly, then looked around the cockpit as Lance went to Hunk’s side. Shiro must have been in the Black Lion, pulling Red back to the Castle to get Hunk the help he needs. 

Lance looked over Hunk’s body, his worry evident, but he knew just as well as Keith that there was nothing to do until there was a cryopod nearby. Still, he pressed two fingers to Hunk’s neck to monitor his pulse. Satisfied, he returned to Keith’s side, waiting for clarification. 

“I’m stuck in my Galra form,” Keith whispered, as if Hunk could hear him through his unconscious state.

“Oh,” Lance said like it was common knowledge, like it wasn’t an unexpected, life changing, awful position for Keith to be in. “It’s because of the antidote. It neutralizes any foreign quintessence in the body. Since you were in your Galra form when I injected you, it must have misread your extra human quintessence, but it’ll regenerate,” He explained, then had the gall to ruffle Keith’s ears like a dog. “Besides, you could’ve been dead a few minutes ago, I much prefer Galra Keith to dead Keith. You would’ve grown on the others. It’s cute.” 

“Cute!?” Keith couldn’t believe his ears. His poor, ruffled ears. 

“That’s the only thing you’re gonna respond to?” 

“I’m literally the enemy right now!” 

“Hey, I’ve flirted with the enemy plenty of times!” 

“That’s not the point! I just earned the teams trust again. How am I supposed to face them like this? I wanted to- to kill Hunk just now!” Keith gestured in his friend’s direction, then held an open hand up to Lance’s cheek, “You’re literally still bleeding because of me.” 

“I did stab you in the neck with a needle so I’d call us even.”

“Lance.” 

He sighed and sat down in front of Keith, then seemed to notice something resting on the floor beside Keith’s leg. He went to pick it up but as soon as Keith realized what it was, he panicked and grabbed it before Lance could lay a finger on it.

“No way you have a freaking tail!” Lance laughed. Laughed!

“I didn’t know either! This shift felt different, like the poison unlocked more for me,” Keith admitted, hiding the tail behind his back. His stupid Marmoran suit must have adjusted for his tail when he shifted, he didn’t notice it until now either. 

Lance leaned over, trying to get another look, but Keith matched him with an unamused look on his face. He gave up fairly easy and said, “Well yeah, you thought you were fighting for your life; your body went into defense mode. You really pushed your limits.” 

Keith laughed humorlessly, “I’m sure I looked real heroic.” 

Lance watched him for a moment, and Keith could feel his shoulders stiffen defensively. He couldn’t tell if Lance was judging his Galra form, deep in thought, or just something else, but he didn’t like the possibility of Lance judging him. 

“They haven’t forgotten everything you’ve done for us Keith. None of us will ever forget. Two years, six years, ten; you are a hero, Keith. You’re Voltron’s Red Paladin. A Blade of Marmora. A samurai,” he joked, nudging Keith’s leg with his own, “I haven’t forgotten what I said to you while you were staying in the holding cell, about your Galra form, but you have to know that this fight with Lotor isn’t black and white. You said it yourself, you wanted to kill Hunk just now. I know that isn’t you, Keith, that’s the Empire- doing anything they can to ruin this team. It’s why we have to be so careful where we place our trust.” 

Keith nodded. He did understand. Hell, he had always understood. He never blamed the others for being careful around him. It was a tricky situation and Keith was willing to do anything to prove himself. 

It was just really discouraging to face setback after setback. Sometimes it was hard to believe he could finally relax, not have to worry about causing another misunderstanding that would set him further apart. He could only grow closer now.

That was, if his teams wanted that. 

“I really don’t mind your Galra form,” Lance continued, “and I know the others won’t either. We have Galra on board the Castleship right now helping with the war effort. Just let me know if anybody gives you a hard time about it.”

“Alright,” Keith said, feeling warm for reasons other than Red’s interior temperature for the first time all day. 

“Pfft,” Lance laughed under his breath suddenly, “a freaking tail.”

“I’m going to kill you.” 

“Gonna start fighting the air?” 

Keith covered his face with his hands, mindful of his claws. “I hate you so much.” 

—————

Shiro and Keith spoke only briefly once everyone had returned to the Castle. Shiro was smart enough not to ask too many questions about Keith’s poisoning. He was going to have to recount everything in front of everybody during the debriefing anyway, which he really wasn’t looking forward to. 

As Keith showered, he realized that Lance was right. His skin was slowly losing it’s purple hue as time passed. After he spent a few doboshes in a cryopod to fix his broken nose and hysteria induced injuries, he had almost completely returned to his human form. 

When he laid down for a real nap, sleep forced itself on Keith. It wasn’t until he woke to Pidge bringing him dinner and an update that the guilt was able to settle in- slam into him like a wall, really. 

Hunk was going to need a little more time to recover than usual. The antidote should have been administered sooner, because the poison and abdominal wound made a near-lethal combination. The corrupted quintessence was essentially what kept Hunk alive, but having that in your system could easily drive a person mad, so Coran thought it best he stay in a cryopod for at least two quintants. 

Two days didn’t even come close to the record, which from what Keith knew was held by Coran and Allura understandably, and then Lance when the idiot threw himself in front of a bomb. Who knew what new records they’d managed while Keith was gone. 

Regardless, they couldn’t afford to make them now, not while Lotor was still utilizing every option in his mind-control handbook. 

Learning that Shiro was cloned was already hard enough to believe, but Lotor creating a nearly incurable, hysteria-inducing poison was unthinkable. It didn’t seem like him at all, but then again, he had learned that in the past two years, the power of quintessence use had really gone to Lotor’s head. He had brought it up in every Voltron meeting in an attempt to solve their problems, weaponize it in unimaginable ways, planet-ending ways. Keith couldn’t put a virus-like poison past Lotor. 

Because it was a virus, wasn’t it? If it was able to spread through contact with infected blood? 

If only he had known all of this before it had happened. Maybe he could have helped Hunk sooner, and then he wouldn’t have to spend longer in the cryopod. 

He definitely wouldn’t have fucked up during Coran’s instructions! He would’ve already known what to do, and then he would have never hallucinated in the first place. If Allura hadn’t snapped him out of it, if she hadn’t yelled at Keith… Hunk would be dead right now. 

There were too many close calls, and every one of them happened because Keith is clueless. He will always be in the dark. How is he supposed to live up to the new role as Red Paladin if he doesn’t even know what that means anymore? 

Having decided, Keith wiped away tears of frustration as he set his empty dinner plate aside and headed to Red’s hangar. He could guess that Lance wouldn’t be leaving Hunk’s side outside the pod, so Keith was alone when he entered the Red Lion. 

She had recharged enough to awaken as he sat in her pilot chair, but he could feel her absence of energy. She wouldn’t be able to move right now if she wanted to. She took too many hits on the way out of that Galra cruiser. 

It was Keith’s fault. He had put her into autopilot because he was too worried about Hunk, and soon enough she had been shot down and went into a free float through space until everything had happened.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, holding onto the controls out of habit, “and I’m sorry you had to witness me like that. I wasn’t myself.” 

I know, my paladin. Do not be sorry.

“I’m actually here because of something I said when I first got back from the Abyss,” he explained.

I know why you are here. It is just a matter of whether or not you are confident in your decision.  

“I am,” Keith said, and he meant it, “I don’t want to hurt anyone again. I- I don’t want to put them in danger just because I don’t know what I’m doing,” his voice broke. 

Alright, I will stop if it becomes too much for you to handle. I do not know what amount of strain this kind of mental connection will cause for a human. The closest we have communicated between the paladins was when the Black Lion gave the Blue Paladin access to the Black Paladin’s spirit, and it was not very successful. 

“It’s okay, I’m conscious of what’s about to happen so I know it will work. I’m willing to do anything.”

I will not hurt you, my paladin.

“Okay, fine. Just… please,” Keith shut his eyes and gripped the controls harder. 

Red’s senses washed over him completely. Keith panicked momentarily, when her control felt similar to the poison taking root in his nerves, but he only felt calm. He felt weightless, his senses dull as Red’s memories started to flash before his eyes. 

He didn’t entirely feel apart of them. He was still watching them from an outside perspective, but it felt real. It felt like he was truly bonded to all of the lions, to all of the paladins. He could sense their emotions, hear snippets of their thoughts, but it was all too fast- too puzzled. 

There was a base? The team was protecting it. “What’s going on- the plates? Allura!” Lance sounded scared.

It cut to Shiro, while his spirit was stuck inside the Black Lion. He was calling out to Lance. He felt fear. Fear for himself and fear for Lance. 

There was multiple flashes, and Keith was dizzy as he saw from multiples points of view as Voltron found a ship. The ship they always mentioned when they talked about Lotor? 

There was a very quick burst of light that blinded him, but he couldn’t close his eyes in Red’s memories, so he watched as what he assumed was Honerva’s cloning site fell to ruins. It must have been Hunk’s memory inside of Yellow; Keith was buzzing with anxiety.

It switched to Allura’s memory, as she communicated with Lotor through the Blue Lion. Keith could tell that her movements were all over the place just from her hand placement alone. This must have been soon after he left. “How can I be sure that you really want to contribute to the alliance? Zarkon is your father after all. Would you be willing to fight him?” Allura asked.

“My beliefs do not align with my father’s, and he has betrayed me far too many times. I think we have plenty to offer each other, Princess Allura. Let us join forces and I promise to only prove my loyalty to you and your team,” Lotor reassured from his place within his own Galra ship, located not to far away from her from what Keith could tell. It all sounded so suspicious. If Keith were there, he wouldn’t have even let Allura respond. He would have ran Red right into the side of Lotor’s ship before he got the chance to manipulate her further. 

“I don’t know about this Allura. You’ve seen the traps he’s led us into, I think it’s a bad idea,” Lance cut in through his own comms within the Red lion.

Allura didn’t even acknowledge him. She returned communication to Lotor instead. 

“We have a deal.” 

Right after, he almost missed the memory of Shiro’s spirit being transferred into Kuron’s body. They all still looked so young. This all must have happened within weeks of Keith leaving. He felt sick. 

Luckily, the next memories seem happy. They’re in Pidge’s perspective, as they reunite with their father and meet up with their brother who was presumed dead. Keith hadn’t even known about this development, but he shared the happiness he could feel through Pidge’s memories inside Green. 

Keith actually tried to shout in joy as he watched through shared memories of Voltron defeating Zarkon and Honerva with Lotor’s help. It definitely seemed like they had reached a milestone, but it wasn’t long after that, Keith could see quick recollections of Lotor’s slow spiral into madness. 

Pretty soon, the memories seemed to hit Keith faster, but really, they must have been harder for him to understand. Almost everything he had seen so far was information he had already known, things the team had told him, so when short clips of battles or conversations played that Keith had no context for, he was left feeling more lost than he was before. 

“Lotor- this quintessence-” 

“We can’t lose hope- Keith is out there-” 

“-you think I wanted this to happen!? Look at him!” 

“Did you see the way Shiro shouted at-”

“-it’s my responsibility to let you know that he has unfortunately gone missing during his last mission.”

“Yes Honerva, I will see to it that Voltron is stopped.” 

“-then press both buttons at the same- perfect- great work number five!” 

“Just you wait, I’ll work really hard, I promise.”

Too fast. Everything was too fast, and too bright, and none of it made sense.

Keith opened his eyes.

“This isn’t working- that last one was my memory!” He stated, overstimulated and mad at himself for how much he felt like crying at that moment.

I am sorry, it is not easy to control. 

“Right, it’s fine. I just need to think of something else,” Keith said, then slumped back in the chair in defeat. Tears surfaced in his eyes again, and he tried to keep them down but it was useless. Everything was useless. 

Keith cried like a baby in Red’s pilot chair. He could feel Red trying to console him, her warmth washing over him in waves, probably because he’d forget to breathe at times. When he started to feel the familiar sensation of déjà vu, he snapped at Red.

“Don’t you dare show him where I’m at-“ and then immediately felt guilty, “I’m fine. Just overwhelmed.” 

Red didn’t respond, but continued to let him cry as she soothed his nerves with her presence. 

And he cried. Keith cried because of Hunk’s current condition, he cried over the fresh memory of Shiro’s soul trapped and scared inside of the Black Lion, he cried for the team who thought they had lost their Red Paladin two years ago, he cried because of their mistreatment while Kuron was right under their noses, he cried for the person Lance had to become in Keith’s absence, he cried because of every battle Voltron had fought and lost without him. 

He cried because he had lost two years he was never going to get back and there was no time to slow down. To process it. He cried because nobody truly understood how lost, and confused, and alone it made him feel. 

Well, there was one person.

Keith cleared his throat and scrubbed at his eyes. “Red? Could you pull up a call with my mom, please?” 

A screen appeared in front of Keith, and he waited as the call went through to the Blade of Marmora. Luckily, it didn’t take long for his mom to answer. Unluckily, she noticed right away that he had been crying.

“What’s wrong, Keith?” Was the first thing she asked. She didn’t seem busy, so Keith could explain the whole story if he really wanted to, but he found that he didn’t. He really didn’t want to cry in front of his mother. Emotional maturities considered, Keith still hated crying in front of people. 

“Um…” He started, and caught sight of his own face in the corner of the screen- blood shot eyes and red-rubbed cheeks. It was painfully obvious there was something wrong. He decided to keep it as short and honest as possible, “this is harder than I thought, mom. Two years. I- thought I could handle it, but I put people in danger today. I’ve put everyone in danger- a lot- since I’ve been back. What’s the point in being the Red Paladin again if I can’t ever catch up?” He blinked hard, and when he opened his eyes again, his mom was looking at him with pure sympathy and understanding. 

His heart could burst with love for her. 

“I know this might not be what you wanted to hear, Keith, but it’s always going to be hard. What you need to remember is that it’s okay to ask for help. Put to use all of the skills you learned in the Abyss, and reach out to your team,” she urged him, “because they aren’t going to know what you’re ready to learn unless you tell them. You can’t run headfirst through this one, I’m sorry, I know how bad you want to. I tried to do the same thing when I got back. Immediately took on a mission despite Kolivan’s warning and got myself injured trying to use a weapon I’ve never even seen before. I’m okay now, but Keith, take my advice. Do not throw yourself in blind.” 

Keith sat up straighter, pulling at his hair but nodding his head at her advice, “No, you’re right, I just have no clue how to not be blind. So much has happened and I can’t go two steps without running into a problem I don’t know how to solve. I just tried connecting with Red to see through her memories with the team but it was too fast and I didn’t have enough context.” 

Krolia nodded, then leaned closer to the screen, her face serious like she was about to discipline Keith for acting up. “I can tell you what the Blade provided to help me-”

Keith sat up straight in his seat.

“but,” she continued, “it’s not a solution to the problem, you’re obviously still going to lack the physical skills, quick thinking skills, problem solving skills, and we can’t even be sure that your team will be able to replicate the Blade’s technology. You will still lack a lot of critical information, and I cannot stress enough that you need to be in a healthy mental state for it to work.” 

“Of course,” Keith said quickly. 

His mom raised her eyebrows, and he didn’t need to guess that she was taking in his disheveled appearance. 

“I- It was a one time thing, promise. Please, mom, you have to tell me!” 

She took in a breath and looked to the side for a moment, head tilted as if she wasn’t about to give in to her only child who she loved dearly. 

“Alright,” she caved, “so…”

—————

“Basically, the Blade created headsets, sort of like the ones we use to mind meld, but they went beyond something as simple as mentally forming Voltron. When another Blade member was using the other headset, they could pass memories off to my mom that they thought would be of use to her, and she was able to catch up that way. It was a slow process but it’s helped her a lot,” Keith explained to the team while they were all in their respective places at the Bridge. 

Keith had just bit his way through recalling the events of the Moonflower poisoning alongside Hunk, who Keith still couldn’t look in the eye despite all of the reassurance and kind words. 

‘Seriously, you didn’t put the knife in me man, no need to apologize!’ He had said. Would you still say that if you knew I almost took it out?

It was easier for Keith to inform the others what he had learned from Krolia, because he had his hopes up and he knew it. He wanted them to be able to figure it out. If anyone could, it would be Pidge. He turned to them hopefully. 

“So, we already have headsets, what do you think?” He asked.

Pidge smiled in the way that meant they were scheming, and Keith couldn’t be happier to see it.

“Well,” they started, already opening up their computer, “we’ve already got half of the problem solved thanks to Lance.” 

Lance perked up in his chair, having completely zoned out, “What did I do?” He asked defensively. Keith, leaning against his own chair, smiled at Lance. 

Lance balked, his defensiveness lost as he caught Keith’s gaze. Keith was relieved to see that the scratch he'd left on his cheek had completely healed, no scar in sight. Lance's eyes widened then, as if he'd remembered something. He mouthed the words, "Are you okay," and Keith knew then that Red had betrayed him when he told her not to warn Lance about his meltdown. Lance had just been smart enough to give Keith his space.

He nodded at Lance, and Lance happily smiled back because he could tell Keith was being honest. 

“Back when we thought Keith was…” Pidge trailed off, “yeah. Basically, Lance has suggested we connect the headsets to the Red Lion in order to access Keith’s memories. Obviously, we can do that normally by just being connected to the Lion’s but its patchy and turbulent… by connecting the headset we could access memories like a computer base but using our minds. Thing is, it worked, just not for the Red Lion. It must have been because of the time rift in the Quantum Abyss. Your bond with Red was severed during that time,” Pidge rambled. 

“That… must have been awful news. I’m so sorry guys,” Keith said honestly. 

Pidge gave him a genuine smile, “It’s in the past, but! Thanks to Lance, we made that advancement with the headsets. So, my theory is that we should be able to do exactly what the Blade did for your mom, but with all of the Paladins at one, Allura included, if there’s an extra headset. All we need to do is connect each headset together the same way we connected the one to the Lions.”  

This was amazing news! “And it’ll work the same?” He asked,” Transfer each chosen memory to me in a way that I can actually memorize it?”

“Oh, Keith. It’ll be better.”

Chapter Text

There was a soft knock at Keith’s bedroom door. He tucked his blade under his pillow before opening the door to find Lance standing there in the bustling hallway. They had both put on comfier clothes for the day, their tasks not requiring them to wear their armor. 

Today was the day. Keith was finally going to catch up with his team.

At least, he was going to if this plan worked the way Pidge said it would. Keith was super hopeful, of course. He wanted this to work more than anything. 

“Hey,” Lance said meekly. Keith thought it was strange.

“Hey, Lance,” he said back.

Lance just smiled thinly, like he said all that he’d had to say. He stood in the doorway awkwardly, like he was worried Keith was going to shut it in his face if he wasn’t standing there. He wouldn’t look Keith in the eyes.

Right. Lance wanted to talk about something. He just didn’t know how to start the conversation.

“Do you want to come in?” Keith asked, trying to hide the amusement in his question. He wasn’t used to having to be the encouraging one in this sort of situation, especially when it came to Lance. 

It was like Lance opening up to him all over again, accept this time, Keith was leading the way. 

“Um, please?” Lance asked, and Keith stepped out of the way so he could join him in the empty room. Keith caught him looking around the room, as if searching for something, before his eyes landed on the open closet door. 

“What happened to your jacket?” 

Keith looked at him, confused. “Oh, you mean the red one? I gave it to Pidge. I kind of grew out of it somehow in those two months. It was already a bit small on me before I left.” 

“Right,” Lance mumbled, staring at the closet. He was clearly somewhere else, thinking about something else. 

“I thought you’d be happy to see it go, you always hated that jacket,” Keith said, trying to snap Lance out of it. 

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about- the whole… two years thing,” Lance changed the topic, turning to Keith then, “catching you up. I wanted to… warn you. I- I guess I just want to give you an idea of what you’re about to get yourself into. It could be a lot, Keith,” Lance admitted.

“Yeah, everyone keeps telling me that like I don’t already know-“ 

“I know that you know, Keith. I also know that it ruined you seeing the blood of your brother’s clone on your own hands. Just because you know what to expect doesn’t mean you’ve lived through the experience to be able to handle it,” Lance explained, stepping so close to Keith that he couldn’t look anywhere but at Lance’s face, “You’re going to see so much more blood, pain, and loss than you have during your own time in Voltron, and I just want to give you an idea of what that might be before you go in blind.” 

Keith breathed out slowly, holding Lance’s gaze for a few moments. 

“Okay,” he said, taking in Lance’s soft features; the curled tips of his damp hair, the curve of his cheeks, and the freckles that dotted them, “tell me about your scar.” 

Keith prepared for Lance to be angry with him, but it never happened. Instead, he swiftly pulled his own shirt off, and Keith took a step back out of shock, nearly tripping over his feet. 

“This one happened right after you left,” Lance pointed to a thin, long scar right above his hip bone, “obviously not the worst one, but probably the most embarrassing. You knew that Lotor had been leading us into trap after trap, trying to figure out how we ticked, what our weaknesses were. Well, after you had left and before we had officially taken Lotor into our alliance, I tried taking him head-on in a fight. It was a stupid move, a Keith move, because I was literally thinking, ‘what would Keith do’? I lost that fight, if you could even call it that. He had me on the ground in seconds and admitted that he hadn’t even meant to wound me- I had just left myself way too unguarded. It was stupid of me to think I could take him. I’m lucky he was considering the alliance at the time, he could have easily killed me.” 

Keith stared at the spot, thinking how lucky he was too. He didn’t know what he would have done if Lance had died following in his reckless footsteps. 

He pressed the pad of his thumb to Lance’s hip, to the scar. It was thin, and definitely not the worst, but Keith could still feel the raised tissue as he ran his finger across soft skin. Lance went rigid where he stood.

Thank God Keith had tilted his head down, otherwise Lance would have witnessed the look of humiliation on his face, and Keith would have had to look him in the eyes when he asked, “Is this okay?”

Keith watched Lance’s hands clench and unclench repeatedly before he shoved them into the pockets of his sweatpants. “Yes.” 

He seemed to hold his breath as Keith mapped out his skin, trying to find a scar he didn’t already recognize. 

There were a lot, of course. As a paladin of Voltron, they came with the territory, so Keith himself had plenty already despite his lack of experience. He skipped over the small ones, which could have been a number of incidents during a mission, a childhood accident, or otherwise. 

Having already gotten his permission, Keith ran light fingers over each one anyway. He was feeling brave, that was for sure- the corner of his lip curling up every time Lance’s muscle twitched or his skin prickled with goosebumps. He was obviously trying to get Keith’s attention, watching him closely, but Keith refused to look back up at him. 

“This one?” Keith asked, looking at a particularly jagged scar on the inside of Lance’s forearm. He traced the shape with his fingernail. Lance let out a slow breath through his nose. 

“During the final battle against Zarkon. That one was pretty bad.”  

Keith stepped around Lance now, taking in the light patch of skin spread across his back. He was there for this one, for the bomb that had nearly killed Lance when they all had just began to feel like a team. 

Keith pressed his palm flat in the middle of Lance’s back anyway. He could faintly feel his rapid heartbeat. 

Just above the large scar, at the side of Lance’s neck, were small circular scars- scars that would’ve healed unless they were caused by something with high levels of quintessence and a whole lot of force. Keith’s free hand rubbed at his own neck, where the cryopod hadn’t been able to heal his scar completely.

He kept searching. That would surely be a memory for later, and he couldn’t bring himself to make Lance talk about it at that moment. 

“I know it’s not the same but…” Keith trailed off, his fingers drifting down Lance’s left shoulder to his elbow, “if it means anything, you might see some memories from my first shifts. As a Galra, I mean, when my mom helped me realize that I might be able to.” 

Lance turned to look at him over his shoulder, but Keith was still too shy to meet his gaze. “Was it painful?” 

“Physically, yeah, at first. It never looks very graphic when I change but it’s unpleasant to feel my teeth shifting in my gums, or my nails physically growing. It won’t be anything traumatizing to see but… I don’t know. I guess I wanted to be able to share something too, since you’re being so open.” 

He could see Lance smile from the corner of his eye, but he continued, traveling back around to Lance’s front. 

“What about the others?” Keith asked, pressing his unsteady fingers to Lance’s ribs. They pulled at his skin, jutting out a little too unnaturally. 

“Others?”

“Paladins.”

“Right, uhm, you’ve probably seen Pidge’s hands by now, that was from a malfunction with some of the weapons provided by Lotor’s team. Didn’t misuse them or anything, they just exploded while Pidge was unloading them from the ship. Lotor says it was a manufacturing issue, Pidge is convinced the box was vibrating with energy- like the guns couldn’t contain the quintessence they were holding,” Lance explained. 

Keith had seen Pidge’s hands, but it seemed rude to ask. It was a miracle quintessence had been the cause of the explosion, or scarred skin would have been the least of Pidge’s problems. 

“Most of Hunk’s damage has come from concussions, being the shield of Voltron an’ all. He’s got a pretty bad scar on his forehead that he covers with his headband. God, it bled so much, I really thought he was gonna die that day.” 

Keith watched his own hands in disbelief as he pressed them against Lance’s ribcage- slid them up his chest and rested them against his shoulders in an attempt to ground him. 

He didn’t want this to be a sad experience for Lance. He didn’t want to force the team to relive these memories if it meant it was going to hurt them. 

“S- Shiro was stuck in the Black Lion for months,” Lance continued, “but he threw himself into coalition work pretty heavily when we told him you had died. He’s had more than a few cyropod vacations because of it. He reminded me of you honestly,” Lance laughed, “he fought anything that got in his way. He had so much pent up rage and… grief, but he wouldn’t talk to any of us about it. It wasn’t until he started sleeping around with some of the crewmen in the Castleship that we started making progress with him again.”

“What?!” Keith sputtered. 

“Ssh, don’t tell anybody I told you that. Shiro doesn’t even know I noticed,” Lance admitted, smiling down at him.

Keith realized then that he had finally met Lance’s eyes. They were warm, inviting. 

Why did he ever think he needed to feel embarrassed in front of Lance? 

With that rush of adrenaline, Keith lifted his hand, cupping Lance’s left cheek. 

Lance’s lips parted, his eyes widening as he searched Keith’s face for something. 

“And this one?” Keith finally asked, running his thumb underneath Lance’s eye, where his most gruesome scar was. He could feel Lance’s jaw flex as he swallowed. 

“You already know that it was Kuron, but it happened when we found Honerva’s ship. I was actually fighting the original clone that was onboard our ship when he did this.”

“By yourself?!” 

“No, Allura was there helping me, but Honerva wasn’t making it easy. Eventually we were able to defeat Kuron, and even though Honverva got away that day, Allura was able to use Kuron’s body to revive Shiro. Hunk destroyed the site after that, but apparently we weren’t cautious enough.” 

Keith nodded, staring at the healed wound. He wondered how things would have gone differently if he were still here to help the team.

Lance finally freed his own hands from his pockets so he could gently grab a hold of Keith’s. “There’s something else you need to know, Keith.” Lance said, and as much as Keith wanted to know, out of every Paladin, he was most terrified of Lance when he was serious. 

Lance stepped away, the moment turning serious as he pulled his shirt back over his head. “It’s about Shiro, specifically his cloning.”

What could Lance tell him now that he hadn’t already heard? It felt like the story with Kuron was the only thing he’d been learning about since he’d been back. It was a story he was actually apart of now that he’d killed one of the clones himself! 

“Keith…” Lance hesitated, preparing for Keith’s response, “he was cloned before you left for your mission in the Abyss… Kuron was on board the Castleship weeks before you left. You met him, spoke to him like the rest of us. Agreeing not to tell you was one of the first things we did when you got back because we didn’t want you to regret the mission.”

Keith’s legs didn’t give, he didn’t lash out, he didn’t cry, shout, he didn’t respond even. Just froze. Stared at the wall past Lance’s head and felt nothing. He felt nothing because that’s what this all was, wasn’t it? His feelings, his team’s efforts, him. What was the point of that mission?  

Getting to know his mother? He could have done that just fine outside the Abyss, for two years, as he grew alongside his friends. Discovering his Galra shifting ability? The same one that nearly got him shot in the head? He could have survived without it. Finding those stupid coordinates that will probably lead Voltron to another inevitable dead-end on their mission to find Lotor? They could be using the time searching for better intel. 

Nothing. The mission was nothing. A blip in Keith’s existence that put him in this mess. And he would have been fine with it all! Fine, knowing that he hadn’t left any unfinished business behind. Except he had! 

Not only did he break his promise to help Lance train, but he could have stopped all of the pain and betrayal caused by Kuron if he had just stayed! He could have stopped… Keith didn’t let himself look at Lance’s scar, didn’t let himself think about the fact that he could have prevented-

“When?” Keith asked instead.

Lance’s hand wrapped securely around Keith’s wrist then, his fingers cooling the rapidly warming skin there. Keith hadn’t even realized how high his temperature had risen, how mad he had gotten. “When he went missing for a few months after that fight with Zarkon,” Lance admitted, “His spirit was already in the Black Lion while you were searching for him. Kuron was the one you rescued, not Shiro.” 

Keith was mostly angry with himself, but he wasn’t sure what to do about it, because what was there to do? It was in the past, the clones were dwindling, Lance’s scar had healed, and Shiro was alive. What was there to be mad about? 

Nothing, was what he decided, but the frustration was still there. 

So, Keith took it out on the next thought that had upset him, which just so happened to be the fact that everyone had agreed to keep the information from him. 

Lance pulled back in hesitation as Keith directed his glare at him, now. “Shit, I’m sorry, Keith. I figured I’d tell you before you found out the hard way.”

“And you thought this would be the easy way?!” Keith asked hysterically. 

Lance rubbed at his eyes in frustration, seemingly unsure of how to explain himself, “Well, no, but we couldn’t have told you right away-“ 

“Why not?” Keith asked, internally cringing at how childish it sounded coming out. 

“Keith, you know we can’t just drop everything on you at once! I would’ve never agreed to what we’re about to do if Pidge hadn’t sworn by it. Some of this information could be too much for you-“

“You need to let me decide for myself!” Keith interrupted, “Besides, this wasn’t Voltron intel meant to help me be a better asset,” he said bitterly, “This was something I was a part of, and you all kept it from me!” 

Lance looked at him for a few quiet moments, watching Keith’s uneven breaths carefully.

“Would it have changed anything? If you had found out then? Or would you still have blamed yourself and looked at me as if you let this scar ruin my face forever?” Lance asked bluntly, and Keith looked away, anger dissolving into guilt. “This is the path we’ve chosen, Keith. Now we have to live it, but you’re right. Only you know when something is too much to handle, so no matter what happens when we do this, I’ll support your decision.” 

Of course, Lance always said what needed to be said, even when it was bittersweet.

“Thank you,” Keith mumbled, and grabbed ahold of Lance’s wrist like he had done before to prove that he meant it.

He squeezed once, reassuringly, and pulled away. Lance caught his hand and held his fingers with his own.

Keith swallowed, realizing how close they were standing, how easily he could count the freckles on Lance’s face if he tried. Was this…?

“Keith, …”

Pidge knocked heavily on Keith’s bedroom door, and he nearly jumped out of his own skin at the sound. “Keith? Everyone is nearly ready, we’re just waiting on you and Lance, now! Just… let us know if you’ve changed your mind, yeah?” Their tone suddenly shifted, and Keith felt guilty because Pidge obviously didn’t know he wasn’t alone, “None of us knows how downhill this can get until we try, so, I won’t blame you if you decide not to.”

Keith suddenly shivered and ripped his hand away from Lance. He had just run his fingers over the skin of Keith’s palm in a light gesture that made his skin prickle with goosebumps.

“Lance,” Keith hissed at him. 

“What did you say, Keith?” Pidge asked through the door. 

Lance poked his tongue out at him. 

“Um-“ Keith turned to the door and cleared his throat, “Thank you, Pidge. I’m heading down in a few.” 

Their footsteps sounded off down the hallway and Keith whipped back around to Lance, cheeks burning, “Really?” 

“What?” Lance asked innocently, inspecting his nails. 

“Were you trying to get us caught?” Keith asked, gesturing to the door.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You could have just told them I was in here and they wouldn’t have thought anything of it,” Lance stated.

“Shut up,” Keith said, because Lance was right, and with that conversation shut down, Keith no longer had an excuse to bring up what the hell just happened between them.

—————

Pidge only looked at them suspiciously for a moment when Keith and Lance showed up to the training room at the same time. 

“Right,” Pidge spoke to everyone gathered. Shiro, Allura, Hunk, Keith, Lance, and Pidge were going to take part in the memory swap using the headsets, while Coran had agreed to monitor everyone’s brain activity and vitals the entire time. They all sat in a circle facing each other, similar to how they would during a regular mind melding exercise. Coran was off to the side, giving everyone encouraging smiles despite the circumstances, “I have no doubt that this is going to work. These headsets are designed to transfer everyone’s memories to everybody’s mind- directly. That means no memorizing necessary, it’s there for good. That also means we could be seeing some memories we already know, or are apart of, and may see some of Keith’s memories as well.” 

“How many memories are we talkin’ here?” Lance asked, clearly worried to hear the answer. 

“Calm down, Lance, the code will specifically search out memories that are important for the war effort, team bonding, etcetera. So we won’t see you getting down and dirty with any of your girly-friends,” Pidge teased, looking up from their laptop long enough to make kissy lips at him. 

Lance only rolled his eyes dramatically, fiddling with the headset in his lap.

“I can’t promise accuracy however,” Pidge continued, “These headsets were built for trust building; communicating through emotions, and that’s the only way this is going to work. Some memories may come through just because you feel strong emotions about them, or because you’ve seen one person’s memory and it triggers your own by association. From how Krolia described her experience, some of the memories may transfer quickly- some of you may not even notice- and the ones that take up more space, more time, may play out slower. Overall, it’s going to take some time to complete the process, but by the end of it, Keith,” Pidge turned to him now, “You’ll have so many memories to access that you won’t even know some of them are there until you need them- sort of like long term memory, except they technically weren’t memories you made.” 

“And these memories will only be coming from the last two years, correct?” Coran asked from behind his assortment of screens. 

“Yup,” Pidge confirmed.

“Uh- are we going to be seeing anything as this happens? I really don’t want to get sick while I’m still recovering, Pidge,” Hunk mumbled.

“Depending on whose memory it is, and the amount of time it plays out, you may see it played out through that person’s eyes, yes- and it really wounds me that you think I wouldn’t account for your motion sickness, Hunk,” Pidge pouted. 

Allura leaned forward now, her hand partially raised, “And how will we know whose memory we are seeing if we are watching it happen through their eyes?” She asked. 

Pidge grinned and pushed their glasses further up their nose. “I’m so glad you asked Allura! I’ve actually color-coordinated each headset with its respective paladin! So, if we see a memory of yours, Allura, we will see it in a monochromatic color scheme of pink! It was a great idea, I know,” they praised themself happily. 

Keith smiled. It was a great idea actually, but they didn’t need him to tell them that. He turned to Lance then, who was resting his head on his fist and his elbow on his knee, watching Pidge with a similar, quiet smile. As much as Pidge and Lance fought, Keith could tell that Pidge was the younger sibling Lance needed while they were fighting this war. 

It didn’t matter which Lance Keith was looking at now; innocent Lance, traumatized Lance, or other, he was always going to need a family- somebody to look out for. The way he looked at Pidge now was proof enough. Spending two unimaginable years of pain with somebody would do that to a person. It was the same way he looked at the rest of the team. The same way-

The same way he looked at Keith- now. 

Keith couldn’t breathe. 

He locked eyes with Lance, and he couldn’t breathe, and he felt wonderful. 

When did Lance start looking at him like that?

Is that how Lance had been looking at Keith this whole time?

No, Keith recognized this smile. He saw it all the time when the paladins first started to learn how to form Voltron, and when the two of them had that heart-to-heart before Keith left for his mission. 

Except this time it felt different. 

This time, Keith felt like his heart was close to bursting. 

He looked away quickly and caught Shiro’s eye, then Hunk’s, then Pidge’s, then Keith realized that everyone had just caught him staring at Lance as they waited for him to respond to something he hadn’t listened to. 

“Uh, what?” Keith asked, cheeks red but not even sorry for his actions. From the corner of his eye, he could see Lance turn his face into his hand, clearly hiding his smile- or smirk. Either felt equally Lance-like these days, and Keith would never complain about that. 

Pidge squinted, lips quirked at the corners but they refused to look in Lance’s direction, “I just asked if you have any questions? Everyone else asked one so I figured since this exercise is for you- your initiation if you will- that you should be able to ask as many as you want- I’ll even answer the stupid ones!” They proclaimed, and Keith smiled at that. 

“I think you’ve answered everything, Pidge, thank you,” Keith said. 

“Alright then!” Pidge shouted, causing Hunk to nearly drop his headset, “gear up everyone!” 

Keith put his own headset on and closed his eyes. Whatever happened, he was planning on seeing it through to the end. This may well be their last opportunity to help him and he didn’t want to waste it. 

“Right, I will be here if any of you need me!” Coran encouraged, and then Pidge pressed some keys on their laptop, starting up the headsets and lighting up the darkness behind Keith’s eyes with blinding white. 

“Try to focus only on what you’re seeing instead of letting your mind wander, it should make this easier,” Pidge quietly added in before the first flashes of memory began. 

It was really easy at first, for Keith. The sensation was a bit dizzying, but not physically painful. His head definitely felt fuzzy from overuse immediately, but it was a side effect he had to ignore. 

He could tell it was working though, when he tested the waters by specifically thinking about the moment in Red when he couldn’t administer the antidote for Hunk. Right away, he could recall a memory that wasn’t his, showing him exactly how to do it. It seemed like an insight on everyone’s training- a mixture of everyone’s memory now interlocked with Keith’s forever. He smiled to himself. 

Keith’s thought process must have triggered something in the program, because the first memory that actually played out for them was one of Keith’s, giving a fitting red hue to visuals of him in the Red Lion. It was the moment he almost took the blade out of Hunk’s abdomen, and Allura breaking him out of his delirious state of violence. Shit.

“Sorry, Hunk,” Keith whispered across their circle to him. 

“It wasn’t you, buddy,” Hunk returned, and Keith didn’t have much time to feel relieved before the next memory was playing out for them. 

Everything was purple now; Shiro’s memory. He watched from the pilot seat as the Black Lion sped through open space. Out of the corner of Shiro’s eye, Keith could see Lance holding onto the arm of the chair with one hand and biting the nail of his thumb with the other as he was squatting next to him. 

“Update, Coran?” Lance asked. Shiro was eerily silent.

“Seems the delirium has not set in yet. Allura has been speaking with him, keeping him talking and present,” Coran said through Black’s comms, “But he has described showing some symptoms already, I suspect his Galra quintessence may be speeding up the process.” 

Lance’s head whipped around, and Keith’s eyes met his through Shiro’s. “He’s gonna be fine,” Lance said, seemingly trying to convince the both of them. He turned forward again and Shiro pushed the Black Lion impossibly faster. “He’ll be fine.” 

It cut out after that. Keith shifted uncomfortably, feeling like he’d seen something he shouldn’t have, and this was only the start. 

That memory must have surfaced in tandem with his own. Pidge had mentioned that they could be triggered by association. 

Keith momentarily opened his eyes, and through the gradient waves of color he could see his friends sitting around him with their own eyes still closed. They seemed calm, not at all uncomfortable in the way Keith was feeling. Even Hunk seemed relax where he was seated. 

Reassured, Keith shut his eyes again as the next memory played. 

It passed quickly- a snippet of Hunk’s memory blowing up Honerva’s base, and yellow faded to blue to show Lance’s memory of fighting Kuron. Everyone but Lance flinched as Kuron’s glowing arm sliced through their vision like a hot blade. The memory was gone as quick as it came.

Keith could only guess the look of guilt Shiro was giving Lance in that moment, but the group remained silent, the air between them charged with anticipation. 

Keith wondered what the others were worried about sharing, and if he was worried about any of his own memories slipping through. The only thing he could think of was-

“That was Lance, right? You two seemed closer than how you described in your stories. Was that unusual for him?” Krolia spoke.

“Yeah, I mean- the Lance I know now would never say something so… vulnerable? He just doesn’t have any reason to, is what I’m trying to say. We had a really good talk before I left for the mission, despite how emotionally challenged I am. He’s been doubting his skills as a member of Voltron, so we both agreed that I would help him train until he feels confident enough in his abilities again.” 

Keith cringed at the sound of his own voice playing out in his head, and the fact that the team now knew that he was totally gushing to his mom about his friendship with Lance. It was only slightly embarrassing. 

“He seems nice; Lance. It’s reassuring to know that somebody has been supporting you in my absence.” Krolia’s voice faded out as the memory skipped a few times, showing glimpses of Keith’s training with her. They didn’t play out for long, but it was enough for Keith to revisit his first transformation into his Galra features. Kosmo whined from somewhere behind him as his mother held his hand tight, sitting at his side. “It’s working. I’ve only ever heard of Alteans transforming like this, you’re a natural, Keith.” 

“It doesn’t feel like I’m a natural,” Keith grit through clenched teeth in his memory. He lifted shaking hands into his field of vision, and just as his nails grew longer- sharper- the memory passed, his shouting from the pain fading with it. 

Another one of Allura’s memories played next, and it was one Keith recognized. She was in the Blue Lion, communicating with Lotor. It was when she made the deal with him, and it was then that the memories flipped back and forth a few times, the colors changing so fast that Keith could barely comprehend what he was seeing. 

An explosion of green, a quick meeting with Lotor’s team doused in pink, Voltron getting lost in a yellow wasteland because of one of Lotor’s traps. Then the program slowed again, and one of Shiro’s memories played. Except, the purple wasn’t as vibrant as it was in the first one. It was noticeably duller Lotor appeared in an empty hallway of the Castleship.

“I don’t care what my mother’s ordered of you, just stay out of my way. I have my own reasons for being here that don’t involve you,” Lotor said as Keith watched through… Shiro’s eyes? 

“If you don’t want me involved, stop helping Voltron succeed,” Shiro responded, and it was so unlike him. Keith connected the dots quickly after that. 

“You’re insane if you think I’m not going to take my father’s place in the Empire after I defeat him. If Voltron stands in my way when that happens, they’ll be of no use to me anymore, but right now they are. Stay out of it,” Lotor snapped, intending to end the conversation there, but turning back around quickly, “and don’t think I haven’t noticed you targeting the Red Paladin- that’s going to stop too. Leave Lance out of your mission.” 

Pidge cut in quickly once the vision was gone, a quick intermission of small memories passing by as they spoke. “I didn’t even consider that Kuron’s mind was in play here, that was so cool!” 

Keith opened his eyes long enough to witness Shiro’s not-as-enthused expression, and Lance’s fidgeting hands. His eyes were still closed, and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. 

When Keith’s eyes were closed again, he realized it was because the next memory was one of Lance’s, at least, the program was trying to play one of Lance’s. It flickered and flashed, the audio cutting out like bad transmission. 

“Lance,” Allura warned from next to Keith, just as Lance shouted her name in the flashback. 

“-the plates!”

“Your brain isn’t stronger than technology, Lance, stop trying to control it,” Pidge reminded him, but the images continued to flicker. 

“Is this?” Hunk asked, trailing off, but Lance cut his words short.

“Not yet,” He snapped. 

Keith’s eyes shot open, looking at Lance in disbelief. “We just talked about this, Lance.”

“This is my secret to keep, not yours to know. You aren’t ready,” Lance said in frustration, his eyes still closed and his hands clenched where they rested on his knees. 

Keith scoffed in disbelief, but he didn’t have time to be angry as the blue flashes solidified to play a different memory, and this time Lotor was closer than before, his face inches away in the vision. 

“You’ve misunderstood, Red Paladin. It’s you that I want.”  

Everyone audibly gasped as Lotor lifted his hands and leaned in slowly. Keith had to do a double take to confirm this was, in fact, a blue vision playing out before him.

He forced his eyes open, not wanting to watch the kiss any longer, but the memory still continued like a light overlay in his vision, as if he’d stared at a bright light for too long and the image was seared into his retinas. 

“EW, it’s like a 4D experience! Stop it, Lance!” Pidge shouted, covering their eyes as if it would help the situation. 

“That’s what you get for picking on me,” Lance said to Pidge, and when Keith opened his eyes to look at him, he was already gazing back. Keith’s confusion must have been clear as day on his face. “I was the most emotionally vulnerable at the time, and he took advantage of it. He used me to get information.” 

Keith could only nod, holding back feelings he didn’t recognize. 

There were a few quick memories that played in succession, all of them probably revealing important information that Keith didn’t want to think about because Lotor was in every single one of them, smiling with his stupid lips and gesturing with his stupid hands. It didn’t matter anyway, each one was stuck with Keith whether he payed attention or not, meaning he could revisit the last one as many times as he wanted. 

How dare Lotor mess with Lance’s feelings like that? How long was it going on for? How far was Lotor willing to go for information?

Did Lance want Lotor too?

Suddenly, his vision returned to a faded purple, and he couldn’t see anything but dark, but then voices slowly seeped through, the purple glowing vibrant once more. Shiro opened his eyes, and Allura was standing over him, tears rolling down her cheeks as she smiled at him. 

“Shiro?!” The other Paladins shouted as he regained consciousness, and Keith swore he could feel Shiro’s smile through the memory. 

His own vision went blurry looking at all of them, “It’s me guys, it’s me,” he laughed in relief as Allura helped him sit up, but he suddenly froze in place. “Where’s Keith?” 

It was Lance’s turn to cry then. 

Keith hardly had time to enjoy his break from Lotor-centered visions before he was reappearing, but this time in pink as he spoke to Allura about something outside of a closed door on the Castleship. 

“I’d really appreciate it if my team and I were given some privacy for the time being as we work through our next plan against the Empire. All I ask is that you all stay clear of the hangar for a little while,” Lotor pleaded, his stupid, charming smile making Allura hesitate. 

“I mean… are you sure? We were making a lot of progress on the quintessence research. If you are having second thoughts about fighting your father then we can talk about this-“

“You have no need to worry, Princess. I assure you that we still share the same motives. My team just needs a bit more time to adjust and they feel safer when they can seclude themselves in the hangar.” 

Allura nodded, looking at the hangar door momentarily. “We will respect your wishes, Lotor. I hope your team adjusts quickly. I will see to it that the alliance members on board give them no trouble.” 

It switches to Lance’s point of view quickly after. He’s in a meeting with the rest of the Voltron team. 

“These are missing crew members we’re talking about! Lotor would never hold alliance members hostage, and even if he did, why would he keep them on our ship?!” Lance asked in disbelief as he faced Allura head on. 

“This never happened before Lotor was staying with us, and as for his reasoning, I have not figured that out yet, but I am not going to erase my suspicions just because you two are involved now,” Allura explained.

“Y’know, I don’t like the way you said that,” Lance admitted, “it seems like you’re bitter about it.” 

Allura sighed. “All I am saying is that you were the one who tried to talk me out of this truce! It feels unlike you to trust him so easily.” 

“And that’s exactly why you don’t get to criticize me about trust!” 

“I am not trying to criticize you, Lance! We are a team before you and Lotor are, and I am only hoping that you will consider my words right now.” 

“Fine!” Lance threw his hands up, the other Paladin’s watching intently as the two went back and forth with each other, “I’ll check the hangar myself, Lotor won’t care if it’s me, and when I come back empty-handed, you have to accept my relationship with him.” 

“You know I accept you, Lance.” 

Except, when the memory flashed forward to Lance sneaking into Lotor’s hangar one night, he did not come up empty-handed. 

He found the missing crew members, all five of them in different states of injury inside of the cages Lotor had built for them. Lance held a hand to his mouth when he came across the dead ones; a Bulmeran with scratch marks on their neck and wrists, an Olkari with their eyes gouged out, and another who seemed to have succumbed to asphyxiation. There was a Nullrean who seemed to still be alive, but sat completely still in the corner, whispering to themself and unresponsive to Lance. 

He came across a Galra in the last cage, a Blade member that Lance didn’t recognize and Keith only vaguely remembered. She was awake, and holding her hand out to Lance through the bars of the cage. 

“Please. Help me-“

So Lance did. He found a heavy wrench amongst the tools in the hangar and used it to break the lock. He stepped inside and crouched down to help her; her body weak and her skin hot to the touch. 

The broken lock must have triggered a silent alarm, because Lotor stormed in soon after. “Stop!” He shouted, “Don’t touch her!” 

But he was too late. 

Lance already had a firm grip on her bloody arm where it rested over his shoulder. He helped her stand, and walked them a few feet outside of the cage before she lost it, grabbing him by the throat and squeezing.

Before he could even begin to defend himself, Lotor pulled out a gun Lance didn’t even know he kept on him, and shot her clean through the head. 

Lance stared wide-eyed at her, her body going limp in his arms. “What did you do?” He whispered, but Lotor didn’t respond. 

Instead, he spoke into his communication device, “We have an emergency, I need Coran and Allura to meet me in the infirmary, now.” He turned to Lance then, “Let’s go, and whatever you do, do not touch anyone else.” 

Time passed in the memory, and the next vivid picture Keith sees is a conversation happening between Allura and Lotor on the opposite side of one of the Castleship’s holding cells, though Lance can’t seem to focus on them for too long. His eyes searched frantically for a weakness in his bindings- trying to find a way out of them. “Guys? Please, let me out, I feel fine, I promise,” he pleaded, but they only spared him concerned glances, “Lotor? Please…”

“The last subject died last night from a heart attack, and neither Pidge nor Coran have made any progress on an antidote. Any of the obvious answers haven’t worked, it’s like the quintessence is making the poison stronger,” Allura whispered to Lotor, wringing her hands with anxiety.  “There’s nobody on board this ship who specializes in this particular medicine?” Lotor asked, and Lance had never seen him look so desperate.

“No, Lotor, but I would think you already knew that considering you decided to take on this dangerous… disgusting project without informing my team! Were you even planning on creating an antidote for your own weapon? Did you even have a plan at all?!” 

“This is exactly why I asked you all for privacy! This poison could easily be the answer to ending my father’s reign, but I knew your team would be too soft to go through with it! I just needed more time, more subjects.”

“These are crew members you have murdered!”

“They were Empire spies!” Lotor threw his hands up between them, “You cannot honestly believe that I would put innocent people in danger.” 

“Look at him!” 

Allura had gestured to Lance with unwavering rage in her words, but Lance only watched them silently, and Keith could only guess what the other two were seeing then. He imagined it wasn’t much different from what he himself looked like, as he put Hunk’s life in danger. Deranged, violent, bloodthirsty. 

“Do you think I wanted this to happen?! This is killing me too!” 

But when Lotor turned to look at Lance then, his expression was wild. Manic. His features seemingly more Galra than ever. 

“Lotor?” Lance asked, just as Allura turned to face him too, her skin growing a deep shade of purple, “Allura?” 

Fear took over him as the two entered his cell, hauntingly quiet as they approached with raised hands, their claws sharp and threatening. 

“Get away from me! Touch me and I’ll kill you!”

There was a brief moment where Keith could see through Allura’s perspective, as Lance flinched and cried out in his empty cell. 

She had to rip her eyes away to face Lotor again, her worry palpable. “Coran thinks the Olkari may be able to find a solution, since the flor de luna originated on their planet.”

Lotor was still watching Lance intensely, the shouting and struggling echoing loudly throughout the holding cell. “Try anything, please… just help him.” 

Keith was holding his breath when the images faded from pink to green. Pidge was tapping their fingers anxiously on the table in front of them as a group of Olkari held out what Keith recognized was the same syringe he had used on Hunk. “This is all we could make for you, I apologize that there isn’t more, we would have been less sparing with the blood samples if we knew it was the answer to this antidote.” 

There was a crate on the meeting room table, and Pidge looked long enough for Keith to count six syringes. 

“Blood samples?” Lotor asked, and when Pidge turned to him, it was like looking at a completely different person. He was disheveled, the bags under his eyes prominent as he looked over the syringes himself. 

“After inspecting the bodies of the victims, we discovered that whatever leftover quintessence was left from the poison had fused with their blood. We suspect it did so because their bodies couldn’t contain that much quintessence. With nowhere else to go and without a living host to fight it off, the fuse happened,” one of the Olkari explained to the two teams gathered around the room, “We were running out of options, but it seems that injecting a living victim with the blood of a dead victim is the only answer we could find. Your red Paladin will recover.” 

“So we have to harvest blood to make this antidote possible?” Allura asked. Nobody else seemed happy about the matter either, but if it was their only option…

“Yes, but that can only happen if you let more victims die from the poisoning.” 

“Then we get rid of the poison!” Pidge shouted, turning hateful, squinted eyes in Lotor’s direction, “That won’t be a problem for you, right, Lotor?” 

He looked around at the people surrounding him as they waited patiently for his response. 

“Right,” he said resolutely.

Except, it wasn’t right. Hunk was still poisoned, which meant Lotor was still out there using the manufactured poison that had also almost killed Lance. 

It was then that Keith started to feel overwhelmed. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take, and he was just about to ask Pidge how much longer it was going to take but the next memory played out in stark red. He could handle this one, it was his own memory after all.

Keith was watching his mom as she tucked away the last box of supplies in their newly repaired ship. Kosmo followed closely behind her, happy to settle in for a nap onboard despite taking up most of the room within. 

“So, the mission wasn’t a complete success, but hopefully the Blade will be able to find some use of these supplies,” Krolia spoke. 

Keith nodded. He stared across the open fields of the planet, enjoying the view but still feeling utterly alone upon finding it abandoned. Don’t get him wrong, he loved the two months he was able to spend with his mom and Kosmo, but isolation never felt the same to Keith after meeting his team. “Can you drop me off at the Castleship first? I think I want to help with the coalition for a bit.” 

“Missing your friends?” His mom teased. 

“Yes,” Keith supplied honestly, “I miss Shiro’s brotherly advice, Pidge’s weird jokes… Hunk’s cooking… Lance. I guess I didn’t realize how much they meant to me until I was forced to spend two months away from them. I hope they still have room for me on the team.”

“I’m sure they will and the Blade will do just fine with one less member. They’re your family Keith, and you’re theirs. You should spend as much time as possible with them, especially while this war is happening.” 

Keith smiled at her. “You’re right. I want to see my family again.” 

But then the vision skipped to his return, and Lance’s bullet landing inches from Keith’s head triggered the end of the program. The colors faded, the gentle hum of each machine going quiet. 

Keith blinked his eyes open, and Lance was already reaching for him. “Keith…” 

But Keith was overwhelmed, and tired, and not ready whatsoever for another serious conversation. He put his headset aside, thanked Pidge genuinely, and headed for his room. He could distantly hear Allura urging Lance to give him space as he left. 

He wasn’t sure when or why he had started crying, but he decidedly blamed it on the post-mind-meld haziness his mind was experiencing at that moment- a side effect of everything he’d just witnessed. 

Definitely not because he was regretting the Quantum Abyss mission all over again.  

Upon opening his bedroom door, he was ready to sleep his emotions away, but there, laying on his bed, was Kosmo. Sleeping soundly on top of the covers, and Keith was suddenly sobbing. 

I’m an awful person.

He crossed the room and and curled up on the bed beside him, wrapping the space wolf up in his arms. Kosmo huffed upon being woken up, but rested his head back down after seeing Keith laying with him. 

“I’m so, so sorry,” Keith cried into Kosmo’s fur, his tears running freely not for the first time that week.

It doesn’t matter how I feel about it anymore. It’s in the past, and all I can do now is heal. And no matter what, I have you- he held Kosmo tighter -I found you!

That was more than enough reason for going on the mission.

All I can do now is heal.

Chapter Text

A branch flew back into Keith’s face, his helmet the only barrier between his eyes and impending permanent blindness. He reared back from the blow, then glared at Pidge as they wandered off ahead of him.

“Are we sure this is the right place?” Keith asked, narrowly ducking out of the way in time as Pidge let another branch fly back with abandon. He turned back, gave Lance a look to see if he too was witnessing Pidge’s audacity, but instead caught him shamelessly staring at Keith with a teasing smile. Keith gave a tight-lipped smile in return and quickly looked back ahead. Smooth, Keith. He blamed the humidity for his burning cheeks. “We haven’t seen anything but trees and leaves for at least an hour.”

Pidge balked. “Lance, am I hearing this correctly? Is stubborn, persistent Keith actually suggesting we give up on something?”

“I think he’s taken one too many blows to the head from the branches you keep hitting him with,” Lance jabbed lightly. They came to a stop and looked back sheepishly at Keith as they held the next branch out long enough for him to grab ahold of. He did the same for Lance. “What a gentleman!” Lance exclaimed, and Keith was hyperaware of his gaze and the pressure of his hand as he squeezed Keith’s shoulder. Keith huffed. Get your shit together. Had he always been this flustered over interactions with Lance? Was he just noticing his reactions now because of the moment they shared in his room yesterday?

He and Lance still hadn’t talked about it; what the soft touches and leaving their emotions bare for each other had meant. Unless that was just normal activities for closely bonded team members to partake in? Either way, Keith hadn’t stopped thinking about it. The way Lance had looked into his eyes right before Pidge had knocked and interrupted them was…

It was special- felt special to Keith at least. He was kind of relieved it hadn’t played out into the flashforward he had experienced with his mother in the Abyss. Keith wasn’t sure he was prepared for what the vulnerability in that conversation entailed.

Lance also hadn’t brought up the memory meld at all, none of the team had. Keith was grateful for that. He was processing everything better than he thought he would, but it was still a lot to think about, let alone talk about with other people at the moment. It had been obvious that Lance wanted to talk about something with Keith after the fact, but he’d left the ball in Keith’s court. Keith could kiss him.

Platonically and metaphorically speaking, of course.

The three of them had made it to a large clearing, still surrounded by jungle trees but filled with wildflowers and tall grass that was much easier to navigate through if they watched their step.

Pidge paused for a moment, activating their helmet comms. “Find anything yet, Team B?” they asked.

“I thought we were Team A, why do I always have to be on Team B?!” Hunk exclaimed through all of their speakers.

“You can be on Team A when you’re on a team with me Hunk,” Pidge explained, and was met with grumbling.

“Nothing on our end, what about you, Team A?” Shiro joked back. Keith was pleasantly surprised. The lack of Shiro’s no-bullshit response to jokes was something he must not have noticed until now. It warmed Keith’s heart to know that even Shiro had softened himself in ways to help make the team stronger.

“Nothing yet,” Lance said, like there absolutely was something to find and they just hadn’t stumbled across it yet. Keith appreciated that Lance had faith in the coordinates he and Krolia had provided them, but his own faith was dwindling rapidly. “Is it just me or is this place weirdly quiet? I don’t think I’ve seen a single animal since we got here.”

“Maybe they can smell you from a mile away and are steering clear,” Pidge suggested, and Lance gasped.

“I do NOT smell that bad right now, Pidge! You take that back!”

“Yeah, right now,” they repeated.

“Back me up here, Keith!” Lance cried, moments away from pulling Keith’s head into his neck in a move that surely would have flatlined his heart.

“Wait,” Shiro intervened, “Lance is right.”

“Thank you, Shiro!”

“No, about the animals. I’ve seen signs of nests and foraging but we haven’t come across any animals either.”

“Shiro called me smart,” Lance bragged.

“Technically, he didn’t,” Pidge pointed out.

“Guys,” Keith interrupted, nodding his head in the direction of rustling, tall grass that was sure to be a fast approaching enemy.

None of them could ready their weapons quick enough to prepare for the boar that came charging from the bushes. They scattered, throwing themselves out of the way just in time, but the recovery window was short, and suddenly the three paladins were stuck in an intense game of tag with an angry predator.

“This clearing must be its home; it won’t let up!” Pidge shouted. They had managed to activate their bayard but couldn’t seem to find an opportunity to switch to the offensive.

“Then we leave the clearing,” Keith said.

“If we turn our backs, we’re gonna be boar confetti!” Lance added, dodging once again and leaving the team separated. The wide circle they formed around the animal definitely made it easier to avoid attacks. “No, seriously, do boars usually have these many horns?”

Lance had a point. It was the same size and build of a boar, but with scaly skin and horns leading from head to spine like a lizard.

Pidge looked at him in disbelief. “What if it was like an alien or something? Wouldn’t that be crazy?!”

“Alright, we don’t have time for your sass right now, Pidge!” Lance cried, before turning his attention to Keith and whatever he couldn’t see behind him, “Look out!”

All Keith could see as he was knocked on his side was a blur of angry boar and the red of Lance’s armor as he tumbled out of sight into the tree-line. Lance had just saved Keith from the impact and from ultimately getting pushed over the side himself.

“Lance!” Keith shouted after him, scrambling to the edge of what he found to be a steep hill hidden by foliage. The shade from the trees made it too dark for him to spot any sight of Lance.

He also didn’t spot the boar rounding back on him again until Pidge’s back slammed into his. Using him as leverage, they made a quick shot with their bayard in what little space remained between Keith and the thing that wanted him to join Lance at the bottom of that hill.

The boar squealed, the electric shock finally enough to deter it. As soon as it was out of sight, Keith wasted no time.

“Lance?!” He called again, slicing away at vines until they had an opening.

“Pidge!” Lance called back. Both Keith and Pidge let out a sigh of relief. “You’re gonna want to see this!”

The two looked at each other for a moment, then Keith was helping Pidge down the steep slope with a steady hand in theirs. He followed quickly after and found that it wasn’t a far drop, thank god. They were both able to scramble down and through a small opening where Keith could finally see that Lance was okay, standing beside a scrap of metal and smiling up at them impatiently. There was a small scratch of a dent in the side of his armor, but that was the only physical damage that Keith could find.

When they join his side, they can actually make out the pile of tech for what it is.

“One of Lotor’s sentries? What is it doing on an abandoned planet? We didn’t see any sign of settlement when we landed,” Pidge ranted.

“Looks like it also had a run-in with a boar,” Keith guessed.

“Or something much worse,” Lance added, crouching down to pick through the parts.

“We should check if the internal drive is still intact, maybe its orders are still somewhere in the code,” Pidge said hopefully, pulling out a thumb drive from somewhere in their armor. Trust Pidge to always be prepared. 

“That’s if Lotor didn’t wipe it,” Lance muttered, giving Pidge room to search through the pile. 

“Maybe he didn’t know it was here,” Keith said more out of hope than suggestion. He joined Lance’s side and watched their surroundings in case another boar or the ‘something much worse’ decided to make an appearance. 

“Perfect condition! How lucky are we?!” Pidge shouted, standing back up and tucking the thumb drive away. “As soon as I can get this into my laptop back on the ship, we can find out if this pixel trail will lead us closer to where Lotor’s hiding!

Lance and Keith stared.

“What?” Pidge said defensively. “Like, breadcrumb trail- pixel trail, because it’s technology.”

Lance pat their shoulder. “We get it, bud, it’s just not your best work.”

“Ugh, whatever.”

Suddenly, the ground began to shake beneath them, and Keith worried that maybe Pidge had raised their voice just a bit too high earlier. 

“Is this an earthquake!?” They exclaimed, grabbing the tree beside them for balance.

“Paladins!” Coran’s voice cut through their helmets, “I have received visual alert that a large enemy is headed in Team A’s direction. I am afraid you will not be able to fight it without Voltron, all of you head back to the green lion, now! Quickly!”  

“Right, definitely not an earthquake then,” Lance shouted, grabbing hold of Pidge’s upper arm and helping them climb back up the hill. He turned back to Keith, holding out a hand to him. “Let’s blow this joint, Samurai.” 

Keith hesitated. “What if there’s something we’re missing? We can’t be sure that thumb drive will have anything useful.” 

Lance smiled thinly, “Keith, this place is deserted. That thumb drive is the second possible lead we’ve found since Lotor broke our truce, and we only have you and Krolia to thank. Nobody is going to be upset with you if Pidge turns up empty handed. We’ll just have to keep searching.” 

“Right,” Keith responded in defeat, then promptly lost his footing on a particularly bad quake. He grabbed Lance’s open hand and together they climbed back up the hill, using each other and the ground for purchase. Pidge was waiting for them at the top, informing the others that they were on the way with something that could be useful. 

Team B had already made it back to the green lion when Team A arrived, and cramming everyone into the cockpit was a much bigger hassle than the first time. Pidge had already elbowed their way through to the pilot seat and activated the camouflage by the time Keith managed to find an opening. It gave him a clear view of the trees swaying and bending to the will of the large enemy Coran had warned was currently after them. 

“Is that a fucking dinosaur?!” Hunk screeched, and Pidge laughed loudly in response as they took off with great timing. The green lion kicked off from the ground just as the monster surfaced from the forest, and it truly looked like a dinosaur.

The lion’s dismount jerked Keith in every direction. He grabbed the closest thing he could for purchase, which just so happened to be Lance’s side. Lance, who had already been in the process of throwing his arm around Keith’s shoulder to balance the both of them, met his gaze and smiled through heavy intakes of breath. They all had just run what must have been a mile, at least, and Keith could no longer tell whether his palpitations were due to the adrenaline or how close Lance was standing. He was suddenly grateful to be wearing his helmet, that way Lance wouldn’t get a front row seat to how sweaty and blotchy his skin probably was at that moment.

“Sorry,” he whispered to Lance as the rest of the Paladins shared their disbelief of what they just witnessed together. “I’m not used to Pidge’s piloting.”

“They took after you,” Lance explained. “Reckless and all over the place.”

“Hm, that’s unfortunate,” Keith joked, and Lance laughed honest and open, his smile blinding. 

Keith couldn’t be happier to see it.

—————

“Find anything yet?” Hunk asked, nudging closer into Pidge’s side to get a look at their laptop screen.

“I’m going to tell you the same thing I did the last time you asked approximately,” they looked at their watch, “five minutes ago. Nothing we don’t already know, Hunk, but I promise you’ll be the first person to know if I find anything.”

Hunk groaned and melted into the couch behind him. He had finished his dinner before everyone else and had nothing else to distract him as they all waited patiently for Pidge’s consensus.

Keith felt for him, his anxiety spiking despite Lance’s previous reassurances. What if the coordinates were a bust? What if everyone got their hopes up for a stupid, abandoned sentry and Keith’s usefulness to the team goes caput? He’ll have to work harder if he plans to catch up with the team in combat alone. How long will he have to tag along like a lost puppy?

He watched the others in their eager patience. Coran and Allura were nose deep in some text they were able to find about Earth dinosaurs, both of them taking turns alternating between eating and pointing at something on the screen.

Shiro had matched Keith’s gaze a few times, the older Paladin making occasional small talk with Keith from across the circle of couches, and it was obvious he had caught on to Keith’s insecurity about this entire situation. No doubt he’ll have some encouraging words for Keith if nothing comes from this mission.

Keith caught Lance shoving Pidge’s plate closer to them for what was probably the fiftieth time in the past hour. It was persistent, but it worked, and Pidge mindlessly used a free hand to take another bite of goo as they simultaneously continued searching through the information in front of them.

“What are you hoping to find?” Lance asked Pidge as he threw his legs up on the couch in the space between him and Keith. Keith raised an unamused brow at the mere inches between his thigh and Lance’s striped socks. Lance only winked and wiggled his toes as if suggesting that Keith massage them.

Keith rolled his eyes and shoved his own dinner plate of leftovers, which he had purposely overfilled for this exact opportunity, into Lance’s lap, blatantly ignoring the foot rub request.

“Anything,” Pidge finally decided. “Literally anything that isn’t default commands or calibration code. If I can find just a sliver of new information, I can work from there.”

“No use getting worked up about it, if the information is there, you’ll find it eventually. If it’s not, we keep looking,” Lance assured them through mouthfuls of food. “We’ll check nearby planets to see if Lotor made any other stops, or we stick around for a bit and see if he comes back for his missing sentry.”

“Yeah, well, I was kind of hoping our efforts in Jurassic Park and the near-death experience with a lizard-boar would provide us with something,” Pidge sniped.

Lance shrugged, stacking Keith’s now empty plate on top of the growing pile of dishes that sat abandoned on the floor.

“Jurassic Park,” Allura chimed in, “Is that in reference to this Jurassic time period I am reading about?”

“Kind of. Jurassic Park is a movie but what you’re reading is correct too.” Pidge said.

Hunk laughed suddenly. “Remember when we helped those aliens that needed food and supplies after a Galra attack, and the entirety of their planet was basically just the state of Florida? Coran’s screaming woke us up that first morning, but when we all made it out of our tents, he was freaking out over a tiny lizard that wouldn’t let go of his ear.”

“The poor thing was so scared, I had to pry its mouth open to free Coran,” Shiro added, his eyes bright and distant as he thought back on it.

Allura fanned her face with her free hand. “Just thinking about how hot that planet was has me sweating.”

“Lucky us the planet had-“

“The most beautiful beach in the universe,” Lance cut in, and Hunk only nodded as if he were going to say just that.

They all looked deep in thought at that moment, remembering a moment probably long before Keith had returned, and yet, Keith could see it. Coran running in circles as Shiro tried to calm him down, the blue-green shift of the ocean water and the reflecting, red sun rays. His friends, tripping through the pink sand and having the time of their lives.

He could see all of it, through the collected memories they’ve shared with him. The resulting smile was unmistakable for what it was, and Keith caught multiple people smiling back at him for it. Being able to connect with them despite missing out on so much was an amazing feeling, Keith could cry.

Lance threw himself back into the couch cushions, interrupting the quiet moment. Now completely horizontal and shifted close enough to Keith to be able to throw his outstretched legs across his lap, Lance tucked his arms behind his head like a pillow. “The only way that trip could’ve been better is if Keith were there to show us how embarrassingly sunburnt his pale skin can get.”

“Hey, I can tan,” Keith defended.

“It’s comparable to a tomato,” Shiro corrected.

“Dude!”

“Just trying to be honest, trust building for the team and all that.”

“You’re insufferable,” Keith muttered.

Lance jabbed a bony knee into Keith’s stomach. “Hey, no shame in a tomato face, I’m sure it’s more of a strawberry anyway, with your complexion.”

Keith gripped Lance’s legs in place on his lap and threw him a stabbing glare. He couldn’t decide if he should feel embarrassed or flattered that Lance had compared him to a strawberry, but he knew he was being picked on either way, so he huffed in response.

Pidge sat up suddenly, sending their empty dinner plate flying to the floor in a room-silencing clatter. They promptly stood up and held their laptop in the air above them like the holy grail. “Emergency meeting! Bridge, now!”

—————

The team had gathered around Pidge in the center of the Bridge, joined by Kolivan and Krolia through a video call. Perhaps they could have sat in their usual chairs, but it was obvious the tension was too high. Hunk was already stuck between pacing or trying to get a look at Pidge’s laptop screen before they’ve even had a change to give their big reveal.

“Okay,” Pidge began, and Keith held his breath. “Before anybody feels the need to cut in with their thoughts, I’m gonna ask that you stick with me here until I’m finished explaining.”

There are collective nods from almost everybody. Hunk lifted a finger to speak.

“Until I’m finished, Hunk.”

“Right, sorry.”

“So, if I’m right, the answer we’ve been looking for is one of the many coordinates; locations of importance for sentries like this one to have in their code like… Zarkon’s old ship, the planet at the center of the Quantum Abyss, or previously known Blade hideouts. I know what you’re all thinking though, how are more coordinates going to help us figure out Lotor’s whereabouts? And how would we even narrow down a list that contains every possible place of importance in the universe? It’s literally an impossible task, and not worth it if you come up empty handed anyway. Luckily for you guys,” Pidge slammed their laptop shut for dramatic effect, “I’m a genius.

“I first had to ask myself, why the random abandoned planet? Even if the coordinates Keith and Krolia found led us to an isolated planet with no Galra activity but a lone forgotten sentry, why were those coordinates kept somewhere as hard to reach as the Quantum Abyss?

“Opportunity. I’d like to think that working alongside Lotor has helped me understand him better, and I believe he is nothing if not predictable. The planet we just visited must be one of the possible locations that Lotor was looking to set up a new hideout, one similar to the one he had to abandon at the center of the Abyss, where he could set up shop for his evil little poison experiments.”

“I see where you’re going with this, since it was obvious Lotor was on the planet and must have left upon discovering the gigantic freaking dinosaurs, but how does that help us narrow down the thousands of possible locations in this code?” Hunk butt in.

“It doesn’t,” Pidge stated matter of fact. “I’ve already guessed where Lotor has decided to hide.”

“Guessed?”

“Remember when another Kuron clone snuck into the Castle Ship? We all knew that it was Lotor behind the infiltration, but what we didn’t question was why, and most importantly, how? Does anybody remember how the clones are controlled?”

“Honerva’s magic,” Allura stated.

“Right. Honerva is dead. Who was controlling the clone that got onto our ship?”

“Does this mean Lotor learned how to create his own clones and use druid magic to control them?” Hunk worried.

“Not exactly,” Pidge assured. “Lotor can’t use magic, and the druids would never work for him after he helped us take down his mother. I think that Lotor found the comatose clone in the wreckage of Honerva’s base and found a way to wake them; to give them free will without needing the use of magic. I actually think that the Kuron who snuck on our ship wasn’t sent by Lotor at all, because that would’ve risked this exact situation- us finding out what he’s up to.

“That clone had free will after Lotor found a way to wake him up and decided to come after Lance and Voltron because of his shared conscience with the clone that Shiro now inhabits the body of. Besides, I don’t think Lotor would’ve let that clone anywhere near the Castle Ship if he knew it was going to target Lance.”

“Does that mean any other clones will be coming after Lance?” Keith asked, fists clenching at his sides in fear of the answer.

“Not necessarily. The chances of that happening again are slim, but it depends on just how many preserved clones Lotor was able to find. It will also depend upon what I think Lotor is going to end up using them for.”

“Is it worse than a manufactured poison that drives people crazy?” Lance muttered.

“Try a manufactured poison that drives people crazy combined with Honerva’s manufactured super soldier clones.” 

“Oh shit,” Hunk whispered.

“And this is something you are sure of, Pidge?” Allura asked.

“It’s what I would’ve done if I were Lotor. Think about it; he is still convinced that he is acting on moral justice, only testing on people that were working undercover for Zarkon or Honerva, not wanting anybody from the coalition or our team to get anywhere near his experiments, how much more desperate he was to find a cure when Lance was in danger. This poison is his passion project now, and while he will use it to stop people from trying to overthrow his rule in the Empire, he doesn’t want it to come into contact with innocent people. That’s where the clones come in.”

Hunk visibly shuddered. “So, you think the poison will work the same on the clones as it does on real people.”

“The way Honerva created them, they technically are real people,” Pidge explained. “Flesh and blood, a brain and capable of independent thought. The only thing unreal about them is the fact that they were made in Shiro’s image, and need magic to be conscious- well, did need magic.”

“Do you think the clone that snuck onto our ship was poisoned?” Shiro asked.

“It definitely wasn’t. Coran and I would have noticed, and Keith had come into contact with its blood and was fine. Lotor must have just figured out how to give them free will but hadn’t started testing on them with the poison yet.”

“This is crazy pants!” Coran shouted. “Without proper control over these clones, Lotor could release an army of rabid, killing machines on the universe. This could spread like a virus!”

Pidge sighed. “Yep, which I’m sure is a possibility he is trying to find a solution to in Honerva’s cloning sight as we speak.”

“The base we had destroyed,” Allura spoke up. “There would be plenty of scraps; resources and supplies for him to utilize. Any clones that even somewhat survived the explosions would be free game, and there is also the possibility that some of Honerva’s research was left behind. Nobody would suspect he’d hide in a ship that’s practically rubble… Pidge, this is- you are a genius!”

“Like I said, I know.”

“Yeah, yeah, a modern Einstein- how do we know Lotor hasn’t figured out how to make new clones? Or how to prevent them from self-destructing from the side effects and essentially having a never ending, biological warfare army at his disposable?” Lance asked, arms crossed with a gesturing, raised hand. A hand that Keith was standing close enough to notice was shaking. Lance was no doubt reliving horrible experiences just talking about all of this.

“We don’t know that,” Pidge said grimly. “That’s where I was hoping you guys could come up with a plan. We have no clue what we’re up against at the moment.”

It was silent for a few moments, then Kolivan cleared his throat. “The Blade will help in any way we can during the final attack on Lotor, but we are currently busy spearheading the mission of tracking down the remaining druids that went into hiding after Honerva’s fall. Keep us updated and let us know when you have a plan of attack. I will send as many members as I can.”

Krolia nodded. “I’ll be one of them. I didn’t spend two years trying to get a lead on Lotor’s plans to not be there when we put a stop to them.”

“Thanks, mom,” Keith said.

“How are you feeling, Keith?” His mom asked, and he knew she meant in reference to the memory melding exercise. He hadn’t talked to her since she had suggested bringing it up with his team, but surely somebody must have let the Blade know that Voltron was also successful in their attempt, and how they had expanded upon the idea of it.

Keith smiled thinly at her. He was doing okay considering. His thoughts hadn’t taken a break since the meld, and he still felt he had a million questions because the process only shared what was seen and heard, not what his team was thinking in the memories. He would like to learn more about what some of the Paladins thought about what they went through. Most specifically, what Lance was thinking when he developed feelings for Lotor of all people. Which was now an entirely other can of worms to be worried about upon Pidge’s discovery.

“I’m doing okay,” he answered somewhat honestly.

“You sure? Your ears are showing,” Krolia joked, and sure enough, Keith felt his Galra ears settled within his ruffled hair as he tried to cover them.

“Fine, maybe I’m stressed. It’s been harder to control my shifts when I’m emotional ever since I was poisoned,” he muttered, his tail flicking in irritation.

His mother hummed. “Maybe the solution isn’t controlling it. If it comes out when you’re feeling strong emotions, maybe it’s in self-defense or an attempt to regulate them.”

“Can we play psychiatrist after we’ve solved our Lotor problem?” Keith pouted.

“Sure, but the Blade could benefit from knowing more about your half-breed genes, Keith,” she said, and Keith knew she was right. “Alright, good luck team Voltron. Stay safe.”

The video call ended, and everyone seemed to slump in defeat.

“What are we going to do?” Pidge asked after enough time passed for the situation to truly sink in. “Lotor is already failing to keep tabs on his clones if one made it on our ship without him knowing. Who knows how many he has right now, and how many he’s already injected with poison?”

“We do what has worked for us a million times before,” Lance started. “We utilize the Green Lion’s invisibility to get as close to Lotor’s base as we can and see for ourselves what he’s working with.”

“A stealth reconnaissance mission,” Shiro stated. “That could work. We just need to keep the group small to avoid being spotted.”

“It is imperative that we are not spotted. If Lotor finds out we are on to him, he could relocate anywhere in the galaxy and we are back to square one. That is especially dangerous if he is already close to reaching his goal,” Allura stressed.  

“What are you thinking, Princess?” Coran asked.

“Pidge will have to be there, but they will remain inside the Green Lion the entire time to assure a quick escape. Shiro has the most experience with stealth missions so he will be one of the scouts. Lance will be the second scout; he can use his rifle in a case of emergency and is our second-best Paladin suited for stealth.”

Keith balked. “Are you sure, Princess? Shiro could witness things that nobody whose been cloned thousands of time should ever witness, and the last time Lance was at that base, he nearly died.”

Lance froze at Keith’s words but seemed to recover quickly. “It’s not a matter of whose mentally sound enough. It’s about who can get in and out as fast as possible without getting caught,” he said sternly.

“Well why not consider me? Or Hunk for that matter. Hunk has a gun too, and I also have stealth experience.” Keith tried, but he knew it was a losing battle.

“Nuh-uh, no way,” Hunk said, shaking his hands out in front of him, “I am not built for stealth. I trip at least once during every mission.”

“Fine,” Keith said. “Send me down with Shiro, then.”

“Keith,” Lance said, his patience thinning.

“I have made my decision. We will work out the details in a meeting tomorrow morning and will be at Lotor’s base by the end of the day. Everybody should be well rested regardless of their role in this mission. We cannot be sure how this will play out, only how we want it to.” Allura finished.

The team trickled out of the room at that point, Hunk giving Pidge a high five for their good work and Shiro staying behind to discuss tactics with Allura and Coran no doubt. Keith wouldn’t look in Lance’s direction. He stomped out of the room before anybody could even attempt talking to him, his skin saturating purple by the second in his frustration.

Sure, maybe they were right about not letting mental health dictate their decisions, but they easily could have considered Keith for one of the scouting positions. He knew it was because of how soon after the memory meld this would be taking place, but who knew how long it would be before they even started considering Keith for serious missions again? It shouldn’t be Lance going down there, not when the scar still weighs so heavily on his mind.

By the time Keith made it to the changing rooms, his Galra features were on full display in the mirror as he put his red Paladin armor on. No wonder people were giving him weird looks in the hallway. They’d probably never witnessed a pissed off Galra that also still happened to be the size and build of a human being.

Maybe his mom was right, and Keith was going to shift whenever he felt out of control of his emotions, but it definitely didn’t feel like it was helping him regulate them whatsoever.

What would help though, was kicking robot ass in the training room, and hopefully people would be smart enough to steer clear while he was this aggravated.

----------

Keith was still in his Galra form when he woke up the next morning, and during breakfast with the team where he remained silent the entire time, and throughout the meeting that he hardly listened to because he wasn’t going to take part in the mission anyway, and even up until Shiro, Pidge, and Lance were standing outside of the Green Lion. Allura had the entire team don their Paladin armor just in case the plan failed, and they needed to form Voltron quickly.

That meant that Keith’s Galra features weren’t fully on display, but it was obvious in his posture that he still wasn’t happy about this arrangement.

“We will head to the Bridge once you guys leave the hangar. We will use the helmets for communication as soon as you are in range of the base. Wait at least thirty dobashes before exiting the Green Lion so we can get an idea of the sentry routes,” Allura went over and the three of them nodded.

A part of Keith hoped Lotor wouldn’t even be there, but that would mean Voltron was shit out of luck with his whereabouts. They needed Pidge to be right about this.

As the group headed in Pidge’s Lion, Lance looked back at Keith like he wanted to say something, but Keith turned and left the hangar before he could get the chance.

He was already slumped in his seat by the time Allura, Coran, and Hunk joined him in the Bridge. Nobody tried to talk to him, and he preferred it that way. He’d be lying though if he said he wasn’t metaphorically on the edge of his seat the entire time they were waiting for Shiro and Lance’s decent. Keith’s fingers tapped anxiously against his arm as he watched everything unfold on the screen Allura had pulled up in front of them, giving a clear view of what both of their helmets were recording as they made it onto the platform outside of Lotor’s ship. Anything they happened to miss as the mission took place could be looked back on with the recordings.

“So far, we haven’t spotted anyone, and not a single ship has left or arrived, but that could be because Lotor is acting cautious of anyone being seen,” Shiro said in a low whisper, but Keith could hear him just fine through his helmet comms.

“How far into the ship are you permitting us to go, Princess?” Lance asked, rifle raised for precaution purposes only. “I know we need to be careful but careful won’t mean jack if we don’t even get confirmation that Lotor is here.”

“Who is Jack?” Coran asked.

“Wha- jack isn’t- not important right now!” Lance whisper shouted. “Do we have permission to proceed further or not, Allura?”

“Yes, Blue Paladin, but as soon as you see any signs of life, you must find cover immediately. Do not engage unless absolutely necessary,” Allura responded. 

The further the two of them ventured into the ship, the tighter Keith’s muscles clenched. He couldn’t imagine what was running through either of their minds right now, but he hoped it wasn’t reminders of either of their rocky pasts where these clones were involved.

They navigated through broken scraps of ship, slow and careful, the sight Shiro scanning over the rows upon rows of cryochambers making Keith sick to his stomach. Nearly all of them were broken and useless, but even the ones left intact were empty. Neither Lance or Shiro’s helmet cameras had picked up on a clone yet; scraps or otherwise.

“Looks like I was right,” Pidge mumbled, watching the cameras from their position inside of the Green Lion, which was waiting a few dozen yards away from the base, on standby for Lance and Shiro whenever they were ready to leave.

“Now we just need to see if he’s still here and how far along he’s gotten with his plan,” Shiro added.

It wasn’t long before the two stumbled across an opening into the ship. To anybody else, it would look like a piece had broken off from the outer walls during the blast, but to the Paladins who already guessed that Lotor was inside, it looked like an entrance that was made by clearing away rubble.

“It’s light enough to see but too dark for the cameras to pick up,” Shiro noted. “We’ll still proceed carefully and relay what we find.”

“Oh, please be careful,” Hunk whispered back despite the fact that he didn’t have to.

“Will do, buddy,” Lance reassured.

The next ten minutes of black screen and only the sound of muffled, slow footsteps was excruciating for Keith, but everyone in the Bridge seemed to take in a breath of anticipation when they could finally see approaching light.

Lance stayed low to the ground as he got closer to the opening of what must have been a long hallway they had just travelled down. That opening gave them clear view of what was taking place in the cavernous room below them.

It was obvious Lotor only set up what was needed in case of an emergency evacuation; standing work lights, operation platforms that must have been recycled from Honerva’s testing, tables stationed at each one with supplies haphazardly placed on top. Lance used the scope of his rifle to get a clear view of the boiling beakers and various test tubes- all filled with liquids of varying shades of neon blue.   

The scariest part was how many operation tables there were, and that every single one of them was occupied by one of Shiro’s clones. Keith recognized the members of Lotor’s generals amongst the aliens working to create and inject the poison, and not a single one of the clones were fighting it. They must have been in those chairs willingly.

At the center of it all was Lotor, looking at a clipboard over the shoulder of a Galra who was listing off different numbers out loud. When Lance and Shiro held their breath, the team could just barely hear what was being said.

“K136-A. Catatonic. K111-N. Minor improvement. K207-A. Deceased. K83-E. Success. K199-Z. Minor improvement. K162-E. Success. K45-E. Success. K251-A. Catatonic. 6 percent increase in success rate since the last round of testing. All currently prepared soldiers have been discharged,” the Galra said, reading off of the clipboard.

“Right,” Lotor responded, and Keith thought he could see Lance flinching through Shiro’s camera. “Keep them within range so their chips remain active. We don’t have enough successful soldiers yet to risk seeing what happens when they go inactive with the poison in their system. Transfer some of the strain from Ezor’s workstation to Acxa’s; if she doesn’t get better results after that, have her decrease the dosage.”

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Hunk mumbled. He took his helmet off momentarily to rub at his eyes as if to clear everything he just witnessed from his memory.

Allura seemed frozen in place, even as Coran ran a grounding hand over her shoulders. She took a visible deep breath before speaking.

“Are you hearing this, Pidge?”

“Affirmative,” Pidge spoke up. “It seems like they’ve numbered each clone and are keeping track of their progression by assigning groups of poison variants to each of his generals. I’m also guessing that Lotor’s solution to keeping control over the successfully poisoned clones is by setting a specific range of distance that keeps the chips in their necks online. He must have a device or some sort of portable technology that allows him to control how far they are able to go.”

“If you’re right about the clones being numbered, that’s gotta mean…” Lance trailed off.

“As far as we know, they have found at least two hundred and fifty-one working clones to test on,” Pidge confirmed, letting the dread settle in everyone’s stomachs.

“This can’t be real!” Hunk cried.

“There must be more to this- this base if Lotor has a designated area to monitor the progress of each… clone, and another to keep them within range while they await orders,” Shiro speculated. Keith spoke for the first time since yesterday.

“Are you okay, Shiro?”

“I’m fine,” he assured. “Just… it’s just a lot.”

“Alright Paladins, I think we have enough information to help us figure out a plan. Start heading back to the Green Lion now and use your jetpacks if you can,” Allura ordered. “We do not know if we will set off any alarms if Pidge gets too close.”

Lance didn’t budge. His cheek still rested against the side of his rifle as he stared down the scope. Everyone could see through his camera that he had the barrel aimed straight at the back of Lotor’s head, but he didn’t shoot.

“Lance,” Allura spoke with a warning tone.

“Alright,” Lance responded, finally dropping his line of sight, but then his gun is being ripped entirely out of his hands. He spun around in disbelief. “I said alright, Shiro.”

But it wasn’t Shiro that was behind Lance as he turned around. He had the same white head of hair and scarring from years of battle, but his eyes were glowing bright yellow in the darkness of the hallway, and he pushed the side of Lance’s rifle into his throat to slam him backwards into the wall and hold him there.

Everyone on the Bridge stood in unison.

“We have to do something!” Keith shouted.

“Not yet,” Allura demanded. “That is still the real Shiro, and they have not been spotted yet. If Lance can incapacitate him, this mission will not have been for nothing!”

“What is he doing?!” Hunk cried, wringing his hands anxiously.

“He’s not doing it on purpose,” Pidge explained, and Keith wondered why the hell they weren’t going down there to intervene yet. “It must be the chip that was in Kuron’s neck when Allura transferred Shiro’s conscience into his body- being within range of Lotor’s technology must be what activated it. He’s being controlled by a clone with free will right now, and it must want revenge!”

“Then go and stop him, Pidge!” Keith yelled, but Allura threw a hand back to silence him.

“Do not engage, Pidge. Lance can do this.”

Neither Lance nor Shiro had uttered a word yet, which was a miracle since any loud noise would alert Lotor and his team who were only a floor below them. Keith could only watch for a few seconds as Lance began to choke for air and scramble to push the gun away to relieve the pressure before he was urgently trying to make them see reason again. “Somebody needs to go down there, Shiro will kill him!”

It’s that moment Lance is able to gather enough strength to lift his legs from the ground, using the wall behind him as leverage to kick Shiro in the gut. The clone staggered backwards, giving Lance enough time to hit the ground on his side and fill his lungs with air again. “Don’t even think about it, Keith,” Lance rasped.

Keith had already started running to his lion.

“Get back here, Keith!” Allura shouted loud enough for her voice to carry through Hunk’s headset, but Keith didn’t listen. He was already settled into the pilot seat with the cameras pulled up at his side by the time Kuron had recovered and advanced on Lance a second time.

Keith put his own piloting abilities to the test with how fast he flew Red out of the Castle Ship. His entire team was yelling at them through their comms, but he tuned them out completely, focused only on the direction he was headed and the fight taking place between his brother and… now was not the time to speculate exactly what Lance was to him.

He caught glimpse of a brutal punch to the head that Lance wasn’t able to dodge, his helmet the only thing softening the blow, and Keith let out a frustrated sound when he realized that Lance wasn’t fighting back, only defending and trying to immobilize Shiro.

“Do something, Lance!” Keith finally spoke.

He watched Lance duck under Shiro’s fist as he swung for a second time, then attempted to get a hold of his wrists to restrain them, “Keith, if you don’t get your ass back into the Castle, I’m going to fight you next,” he ordered.

“You call what you’re doing fighting? Hit back!”

“I’m just trying to knock him out.”

“Then hit. Back.”

Shiro brought Lance to the ground, and Keith pushed Red impossibly faster.

In their scrambling, Lance managed to pull Shiro’s helmet off, which would’ve put Lance in a better position if he would actually throw a punch. It mostly just meant that the team could only see from Lance’s perspective now.

“Knock him out and get the damn chip out of his neck,” Keith seethed.

Lance didn’t even respond, instead using his strength to get his leg between Shiro’s, locking their knees together and throwing his weight to the side. They tumbled, putting Lance on top and he wasted no time putting his hands on Kuron’s throat to cut off his air supply.

Shiro was too strong and way too determined to hurt Lance, who may have had a fighting chance if he wasn’t worrying about hurting Shiro back.

It wasn’t long before Shiro had the upper hand again, pushing Lance off of him using his prosthetic arm and no doubt burning skin.

Lance must have struggled to keep his pain quiet after that last move, but in the end, it was all a futile effort. As soon as the Red Lion touched down on Lotor’s base, an alarm sounded. Keith could only hear his team collectively voicing their anger as he exited his Lion and followed the path he had watched Shiro and Lance travel down earlier.

The only person he couldn’t hear protesting through the comms was Lance, and Keith figured out why as soon as he made it to their location. Shiro had a hand to Lance’s face, pushing it into the metal floor below them as he readied his prosthetic arm at his side.

Keith wouldn’t even let himself imagine what was about to happen to Lance, and instead took advantage of Shiro’s back facing him to slice shallowly into the back of his neck with the red bayard.

Shiro wouldn’t lift the hand keeping Lance in place, but he threw his free hand out behind himself, nicking Keith in the thigh.

Keith could only fight through the searing heat he could feel through his armor. He grabbed a hold of Shiro’s wrist with one hand and used the other to pull the chip from his neck. Keith nearly didn’t catch his body in time as he fainted.

Lance crawled out from under Shiro’s unconscious body, glaring daggers as he watched Keith put Shiro’s helmet back on. “We need to leave, help me carry him,” Keith told him.

“You’re an idiot,” Lance said, grabbing his bayard off the ground and returning it to his hip. He joined Keith at Shiro’s other side, and they both carried Shiro out of there as fast as they could before Lotor’s team was able to locate where they were.

It didn’t matter if they hadn’t seen the Paladins, they knew somebody had made contact with the ruins, and that was reason enough to relocate their entire operation. If they had cameras or sentries on watch, Lotor would know soon enough that it was Voltron who figured out what he was up to. Keith couldn’t bring himself to care. Lance was alive. His brother was alive. He didn’t give a damn about the mission anymore. His team could yell at him all they wanted; he would not be sorry.

The entire trip back to the Castle Ship, Keith could feel Lance’s eyes on him. He was pacing behind the pilot chair as Keith guided them back, Pidge not far behind in the Green Lion. Lance hadn’t spoken a word the entire time they got Shiro situated on board and they evacuated Lotor’s base, but Keith knew it was coming.

“You’re an idiot,” Lance repeated.

“I know,” Keith said.

“Not only did you put the mission at risk- you put Shiro at risk, you put me at risk, and you put yourself at risk. Possibly even Pidge-“

“I know.”

“We have no clue how armed Lotor is outside of his army of clones. We could have been so underprepared if he had found us before we could escape. What if Shiro hadn’t had his back to you when you got there? What if Lotor had already arrived and you would’ve had to face who knows how many enemies on your own? Memories or not, you are not prepared for this kind of combat situation, and you have no right to act like you are. You went in completely blind.”

“I know.”

“Now Lotor knows somebody is onto him, and it’s only a matter of time before he finds out it’s us, and even if he doesn’t, he could pack up and jump ship by tomorrow. You’ve basically taken every lead we’ve found and threw them to the wind! We will have absolutely no time to plan a course of action, and we’re going to be back at square one!”

“I know.”

“That is practically two years, Keith. Two years of tracking Lotor while he’s in hiding and you’ve fucked us over.”

“Technically you didn’t know where to look until I came back,” Keith pointed out.

Lance groaned and grabbed the sides of the pilot chair, probably still giving Keith the evil eye behind his back.

“I’m going to be mad at you forever,” Lance muttered.

“At least you’ll be alive while you’re mad at me,” Keith snapped back.

----------

Nobody seemed to want to talk about what the outcome of the mission meant for them once they were all back on the Castle Ship. Coran took Shiro straight to medical to take care of his neck, and Keith stuck around until Shiro was safely recovering in the Cryopod. Coran assured that he’d be awake by the next morning, and that had Keith comfortable enough to leave his brother’s side.

Upon entering the kitchen to hopefully get some food and hide away in his room, Allura tried to stop Keith in his tracks. “We need to talk,” she said, all seriousness in her tone.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Keith said bluntly.

He caught sight of Pidge and Hunk huddled together at the table, the two of them ignoring their food to stare at the chip that had previously been in Shiro’s neck. Keith imagined that Pidge was beating themselves up for not realizing Shiro’s body may have had a chip, because Keith had blamed himself for the same exact thing. Hunk looked like he was trying to figure out a way to console them.

Lance was sat across the table from them, his arms crossed and eyes just as distant as he stared ahead in thought. He didn’t have a plate of dinner in front of him.

Allura was still blocking Keith’s path to the fridge.

“I just need you to realize the importance of the choice that you made today,” she explained.

“I’m already aware,” Keith said, giving up on food and turning to head to his room for this night instead. “And just so you know, I won’t be apologizing for it.”

Keith didn’t let himself break down until he made it back to his room and the door slid shut behind him. The tears were all from frustration, and he couldn’t recall the last time he had felt this angry about something. The past few months had just been sadness, or confusion, or fear. All he felt now was rage.

He ripped his armor off piece by piece and cursed an unnecessary amount of times as he peeled off his under suit, the fabric sticking to his skin where Shiro had burned him with his hand.

Kosmo was in the bathroom when Keith stepped out of his shower. Luckily, the wolf had seen Keith in his Galra form enough times now that he wasn’t fazed. He was just happy to be receiving attention from Keith regardless. “You’re not here to yell at me too, are you?”

As he was crouched down petting him, Keith could sense Red at the back of his mind, and suddenly he could faintly hear Lance and Allura’s voice as they conversed in the kitchen.

“It is not like I was going to be mean or anything, I just need him to realize his mistake, so he knows not to do it again,” Allura ranted.

“I already chewed his head off about it on the way back,” Lance assured. “All we can do now is reevaluate and plan from there.”

“He could have been seriously hurt,” Allura said sadly. “All of you could have.”

There was a loud thump, probably hands dropping onto a table, and then Lance said with irritation; “Get out of my head, Red.”

Keith sighed. “I appreciate it, Red, but I don’t really feel any better after hearing that.”

Apologies, my Paladin.

“It’s okay. I know it was a stupid decision and they have every right to be mad, but they expect me to feel bad or regret my actions and that’s not going to happen,” Keith admitted.

You were brave and you saved your friends.

“I’m glad you see it that way, at least.”

Keith had enough time to dry off and get dressed in sweatpants and a shirt to sleep in before there was a knock at his door. He was expecting Allura, probably trying to talk with him again. Or Coran, coming to update him on Shiro’s progress.

What he wasn’t expecting was Lance, in similar attire, equally as wet hair and a bowl of food goo in his hand.

Keith looked him over, and his eyes stopped at the bowl. “Thanks,” was all he could bring himself to say as he took it from Lance’s hands and set it on his nightstand. He wasn’t even sure he could stomach food anymore.

He found that Lance had followed him into the room, an unreadable expression on his face. Keith had gotten better at reading other people’s emotions, and usually he could read Lance’s, but it was hard when he was trying not to show them.

“Yeah?” Keith asked, not really sure what more Lance could have to say after the argument they had on the way back from the mission.

“I just need to hear you say it,” Lance said.

“Say what?”

“That it was a stupid decision.”

“It was a stupid decision.”

“And that you’re sorry you put everyone at risk- that you put the mission at risk.”

“I’m not sorry,” Keith said, mustering up so much stubbornness that he couldn’t be bothered to feel embarrassed about his tail flicking wildly behind him, “I will never be sorry for prioritizing you or any other member of our team’s safety before a mission. I would do it again- I will always do it again. The only thing I’ll apologize for is if that makes me a liability.”

“It doesn’t matter how noble you are if you’re putting yourself in danger too. I was handling it.”

“You were too worried about Shiro’s safety to even defend yourself! Maybe I wouldn’t have had to come down if you would’ve just put your own nobility aside and knocked Shiro out from the beginning!” Keith shouted, not really sure if he was winning the argument but feeling good about standing his ground regardless.

Lance clenched his fists tighter at his sides, and his silence only spurred Keith on.

“If it was me down there fighting Shiro and I was just taking the punches, would you have come down to help me?” Keith asked, genuinely interested in hearing the answer. “Or would you have sat in your seat on the Bridge while my brother was being possessed by a clone whose sole purpose is to kill me?”

Lance still didn’t have a response, and Keith laughed out of disbelief.

“Well? Does all of this only apply if it’s you that’s in danger, or would you really have made the ‘correct’ choice?” Keith pushed, “Because if it were me, I would’ve hoped that I meant enough to you that you would risk the mission to save me, and I definitely wouldn’t have said such hurtful shit after the fact.”

“You’re right, I was harsh, and I’m sorry for that. I just worry about the team. I worry about you,” Lance said in a whisper.

“Do you?” Keith asked, genuinely unsure.

Lance stepped closer- close enough that Keith could see the individual freckles on his cheeks and the raised scar running across his eye. “Keith, you mean more to me than you think. So much that it scares me sometimes.”

It sounded genuine, heartfelt. He said it with way more emotion than Keith was prepared for, and suddenly a warm, familiar feeling fell over him; a sense of déjà vu. It gave him goosebumps.

Keith was at a loss for words, but Lance started to speak again; “Look, you don’t have to believe me, just remember those words the next time I say something stupid, okay?”

They both seemed to realize at the same time what had just happened, the shock being shared between them. Keith didn’t know how to feel about the fact that his sentimental flashforward with Lance finally came to fruition and it was during an argument of all times.

He didn’t get to think about it, because Lance was suddenly moving closer. “Or do something stupid.”

And Lance kissed him.

Chapter Text

The Cryopod beeped repeatedly. Shiro’s even intakes of breath and Kosmo’s reassuring presence were the only things soothing Keith’s mind at that moment. His thoughts were ruthless, and he couldn’t decide which was worse; overthinking the countdown to the meeting where Voltron would discuss the next steps against Lotor; or overthinking the kiss.

The kiss.

God, the kiss. Keith never entertained the idea of kissing until recently- until Lance’s annoying lips started seeming annoyingly kissable- but entertaining the idea that Lance might kiss him?! He still couldn’t believe it.

Lance was soft, and warm, and kissed like he fought; cautious but determined. He was gentle, and dizzying, and Keith could still feel the pressure on his lips like a phantom limb, haunting him every second since it happened. He wanted to feel it again. He wanted to feel Lance again.

Keith wasn’t sure what prompted Lance to kiss him. While in his Galra form of all times. Was it because he cared about Keith? That’s what he had been saying before it happened… but Lance didn’t go around kissing everyone he cared about! He had wanted to kiss Keith, or at least, it definitely felt like he had wanted to. His hands had held the back of Keith’s neck with secure fingers, had brought their chests flush together, and Keith blushed as he recalled grabbing desperately in return, gripping the fabric at Lance’s shoulders. He had squeezed his eyes shut tight, not knowing what to do but knowing he wanted to so badly. Luckily, Lance seemed to know what to do, and had kissed expertly, guided Keith’s lips with his own, and ran his fingers through Keith’s hair in a way that made his skin tingle.

But then, Keith had pulled back to catch his breath and immediately regretted doing so, because Lance was stepping away, seemingly just as wrecked but looking at the ground instead of at Keith.

“No,” Keith had started, but Lance was already heading to the door. “If you leave right now, it’ll be my turn to hate you, Lance.”

“I just… I’m supposed to be mad at you!” He exclaimed. “I’m supposed to be with the team to make sure everyone is okay and that Shiro is recovering.”

“I’m part of this team too! Shiro is in medical and as soon as he wakes up in the morning we’ll reconvene. There is nothing either of us can do right now but wait.”

“I need time to think.”

“You’re allowed to be selfish sometimes you know!” Keith had called after him as he left the room. “You can’t keep carrying this team by yourself forever,” he muttered. Kosmo- curled up on the bed and witness to the entire ordeal- snorted in agreement.

That had brought Keith to medical, Kosmo not far behind. As soon as Keith had found a spot on the floor to sit down, the wolf was settled in against his thigh and had been sleeping ever since. Keith couldn’t sleep, of course. Not after the kissing debacle and the looming threat of the meeting where he’d have no choice but to let everyone tear into him about his mistakes.

Why couldn’t they understand that Keith was just as terrified that Lotor may have slipped through their fingers once again? But he also didn’t regret saving Shiro and Lance. Two things could be true at once. Keith was living proof of that in more ways than one. Human, but Galra. Physically present, but also stuck two years in the past. Infuriated with Lance, but also absolutely and terribly in love with him.

Keith froze, the beeping of the Cryopod ringing irritatingly loud through the awkward silence in his head.

He refused to humor that last thought. He didn’t have the emotional capacity nor the time right now to analyze what the fuck that was.

Suddenly, the countdown on Shiro’s pod hit zero. Keith was up and at his side in seconds, holding Shiro by the shoulders as he pitched forward.

“Shiro?”

“I’m okay, Keith,” was the first thing he said before balancing himself.

“You better be, I want you to be fully recovered when I rip you a new one for going on that mission,” Keith stated.

“Is it enough if I admit you were right?” Shiro tried valiantly.

“No.”

“You’re still pissed.”

“What gave you that impression?” Keith gestured to himself. “Was it the ears? Or maybe the tail? I haven’t looked human since you two idiots decided you could pull off Allura’s poor excuse of a plan.”

“Technically, it was an amazing plan because I was the one who pitched it. Also, we don’t know if it would’ve been a poor excuse because you intervened before we could find out.”

“First of all, you’re starting to sound like Pidge, and I don’t know how to feel about it. Second, I intervened because I couldn’t sit around and watch you two relive your worst traumas!”

“Maybe with a little more time, Lance could have had it under control,” Shiro suggested, and Keith raised his shoulders defensively.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t willing to wait any longer to find out.”

There was a soft knock at the door. Keith whipped around in his anger but unclenched his muscles when he saw Pidge standing there, obviously happy to see Shiro awake. “Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt but Allura sent me to get you two. Only if you’re feeling okay enough for an emergency meeting, Shiro.” There was a grogginess in their voice, which reassured Keith that they had at least gotten a little bit of sleep through the night.

“We’ll be right behind you, Pidge,” Shiro answered.

Pidge left, and sure enough, Shiro gave Keith’s shoulder a reassuring, brotherly squeeze before turning to follow. He was halfway through pulling on a fresh shirt when Keith blurted out before he could regret it, “Lance kissed me.”

Shiro hesitated, then finished dressing before turning back around with an expression on his face that Keith couldn’t read. “Did you want him to kiss you?”

Keith was quiet but honest with his answer. It was Shiro he was admitting this to after all. “Yes.”

Shiro smiled nearly as bright as the day Keith returned to Voltron. “I’m really happy for you, Keith.”

Then he followed after Pidge, leaving Keith to release a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Shiro didn’t push, he didn’t judge, and he didn’t make things weird. Shiro had figured out that this was something Keith needed to just put out there between them, and it was moments like this that reminded Keith of how grateful he was to have Shiro in his life.

----------

Keith was the last one to arrive at the breakfast table, which is where Allura decided they’d have their emergency meeting so that nobody was going into this mission on an empty stomach. Judging by the full plates, everyone was a bit preoccupied with what was to come.

Settling down in the seat next to Shiro, Keith tried making eye contact with Lance who was sat diagonally across the table, but Lance only stared down at the goo in front of him with his arms crossed in deep thought. That’s what it would seem like to anybody but Keith, that is. He wasn’t entirely sure that this wasn’t a purposeful move made by Lance to avoid acknowledging Keith’s presence at the table.

He slumped in defeat, ready to be done and moved on from the meeting already. His tail twitched in irritation through the gap in his chair and he caught Pidge making a horribly screwed up face in their attempt not to laugh at it.

“Okay, yeah, I’ve got furry ears and a funny tail, and I’ve just fucked up the biggest mission in Voltron history, can we please just get to the part where we figure out how to fix it?” Keith said loudly into the silence, and maybe he could admit to himself that going into the meeting with no sleep was a bad idea.

“I wouldn’t say it was the biggest mission…” Hunk tried consoling.

Allura sighed. “It was still a very concerning set-back for us.”

“But we can come back from it, right?” Keith asked her.

“Well, we definitely do not have enough time to come up with a battle plan before Lotor moves base, but perhaps Pidge can calculate where he may relocate to, so we will still know where to attack when we are ready?”

“Sorry Princess,” Pidge shook their head. “Honerva’s base was the only location that would make the most sense. Now that Lotor has his clones, he could go anywhere in the universe, and I can’t imagine he’d make it easy to find now that he knows we’re onto him.”

“Could we follow him?” Hunk suggested.

It was Allura’s turn to shake her head. “He would make it near impossible to, I imagine, and without a plan it would be a very bad idea.”

“Is the chip we have from Shiro any use?” Keith tried.

“Unfortunately, we could not access any information from it. Unlike sentry technology, Honerva designed these chips to only activate when inside a living person, and now that Lotor has gotten his hands on them, they are all connected and controlled by him.” Coran explained. “My guess is that even if Keith had not intervened, one of the clones would have eventually notified Lotor of the additional chip activation anyway.”

That made Keith feel slightly better, but he doubted this was enough to dissolve his teammates anger towards him.

“So, the chip is a bust too,” Pidge muttered, slumping in their chair.

Shiro cleared his throat. “Not necessarily.”

Keith turned to him now, not sure he liked where Shiro was about to go with this.

“When the chip was activated inside my neck, I was getting live information fed to my mind through the shared clone consciences. I’m sorry to say that it wasn’t anything we could use now- it was mostly just the success rates of the poison that we had already learned and in a way that I could understand it better- but maybe if we put it back in my—”

“No.” Keith said flatly.

“Wait,” Pidge chimed in, “If it was giving you info as the clones were experiencing it, that means if we put the chip back in your neck and get you within range of Lotor before he can relocate, you’ll possibly be able to find out where he plans to go?”

“Not happening!” Keith tried again.

“But didn’t Coran just say that the clones would know and inform Lotor?” Hunk asked.

Pidge tapped their fingers on the table in thought. “Maybe I can find a way around that…code something that will hide Shiro’s added conscience to their hive mind.”

Keith was getting frustrated. “Does nobody realize how dangerous this is? We almost lost two team members because of a plan just like this!”

“Keith,” Allura said his name in a way that made him feel like he was being talked down to by a grade-school teacher. “We are leaders of this war effort. We need to put ourselves in danger sometimes, or we would never be able to save the universe. Besides, we can get Shiro within range for just a few ticks, and then retreat. I am sure they will not notice our presence, and that must be enough time for us to figure out what Lotor is planning.”

“Yeah, right after Shiro goes ballistic and tries hurting one of us or himself. That sounds like a great idea,” Keith shot back, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Sometimes missions require risk,” Allura responded, and maybe it was the way she said it- like Keith wouldn’t know what it means to be a Paladin, or a soldier of war- but Keith was thoroughly pissed now.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I believe that no amount of intel on Lotor is worth the risk of a team member’s life.” The table was silent. “I know I’ve missed a lot while I’ve been gone, but you guys losing sight of what team Voltron means was the farthest from what I expected from you. I understand that this is the longest you’ve spent on a mission, and it has felt like failure after failure, but we have more information now than we ever did. Take a step back, breathe, and remember that we are just seven people. Not everything we decide on needs to be a life-risking mission, and we have an entire coalition of allies we can call on for help. Maybe start by assigning Paladins to missions they are better suited for? Seriously, I know we can’t let feelings cloud decisions but when is the last time any of you actually let yourselves feel anything?”

Everyone was speechless, staring at Keith as if he’d just sprouted ears and a tail… or like he had just said something completely crazy and unheard of.

Coran spoke up for them. “Perhaps we were so devastated by the loss of Keith that we adopted his previous reckless nature in an attempt to fill the void.”

“I’m going to pretend that wasn’t an insult but only because I know better now than I did before.”

“Keith is right though,” Pidge added in, “We’ve obviously made great progress with coming together in a combative sense, as is needed for the war effort, but ever since we declared him… dead, none of us have grown together emotionally. Which is half of the effort in a successful team. Continuously losing to Lotor definitely didn’t help the morale either.”

Shiro turned to Keith then, desperation in his eyes. “Listen, Keith, I am hearing you loud and clear, and I desperately want to work on this team building just as much as you do, but I have to go through with this. Unless somebody else has a better idea, we are running out of time and we can’t let Lotor get away again. Allies and enemies alike are in danger so long as Lotor gets further and further lost to this poison project. Please.”

Keith stared back; stood with his fists flat against the table as he weighed his options. Shiro was obviously right as well, but Voltron didn’t need to go through with the first and very dangerous option just because they were running out of time. “Fine, but we do this my way.”

“What are you thinking?” It’s the first thing Lance has said all morning, as well as the first thing he has said to Keith since walking out on the kiss for that matter.

Keith was lost in Lance’s gaze for a few moments but pushed his attention to somebody else before he could let himself say something stupid like; “How dare you kiss me into another universe and then walk away like nothing happened,” or “I love you.”

“Pidge, would you be able to replicate whatever technology Lotor uses to activate the clone chips?” Was what he landed on instead.

“You know I can,” Pidge responded defensively.

“Here’s what we’re going to do. We’ll restrain Shiro in medical, and Coran will reinsert the chip. Pidge will activate the chip using Lotor’s method but only after Shiro is unconscious, which he will need to be the entire time this happens in order to avoid one of the clones finding out and reporting to Lotor. This is also why it needs to be Shiro doing this. If these chips work like a hive mind as Pidge described it, they would know as soon as anybody foreign enters their shared conscience. Shiro only needs to be inside this conscience for a little bit of time, and hopefully that will be enough to get us the information we need and the new location Lotor will be moving to. Then we plan from there,” Keith explained.

Lance made a choked sound followed by a cough and Keith caught his stare before he could turn away.

“What?” Keith shouted across the table, unamused.

Lance shook his head, eyes still staring in a different direction. “Nothing,” he said quickly.

He finds your show of leadership alluring, Red spoke into their bond, and Keith bit back a laugh, pressing his lips together in a way that he hoped the others would assume was irritation. Lance’s face flushed scarlet.

“How do we know it will still work even if Shiro is unconscious?” Pidge asked.

“And how do we know the clones won’t detect him anyway?” Hunk added.

“Risks we will have to take,” Keith stated.

The team seemed to look around the table at each other, before slowly nodding in agreement.

“Okay, we’ll go with your plan, Keith,” Allura agreed.

“Good. Also, nobody is going anywhere until all of this breakfast is eaten.”

----------

Keith headed back to medical for the second time that day and he was feeling a bit uneasy about it. He preferred going about his life without the fear of Shiro being in constant danger, but he was mostly confident that this plan would get them the information they needed in the safest and quickest way possible.

There was only a slight amount of stress relieved from Keith’s shoulders after the meeting over breakfast. He was grateful his words got through to the team and that they shifted their focus from being mad at him to carrying out the next step in the mission. However, it seemed like ever since Keith had returned from his mission in the Abyss, every time one problem was solved, another arose. Now all he could worry about was where he stood with Lance going forward.

Keith technically didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe he seemed a little too desperate to be kissing Lance and scared him away? Or maybe he was actually a horrible kisser and Lance left because it was that bad? Perhaps Lance just didn’t think before he acted and was regretting it?

Even if Lance did enjoy the kiss, running away from it was a sure sign that Keith shouldn’t expect it to happen again anytime soon, if at all. Besides, Voltron was closer than they’d ever been to facing down Lotor in a battle that would determine the future of the universe… that threw all chances out the window.

Dammit, if Keith wasn’t unsure of Lance’s stance in all of this, he’d plant one on the guy himself, but the last thing he wanted to do was cross any boundaries. Maybe he’d just give up on the idea of all of this while he was ahead. He was able to say he got to kiss Lance, which was a feat in itself, but a fond memory for him to think back on and that was all.

So, Keith cleared his mind, focused on the hallway ahead of him, and didn’t even spare a look towards Lance when he entered medical, where Shiro was already settled back in a chair. Coran fiddled around with some surgical tools, a pair of fluorescent blue gloves on his hands. The chip Keith had pulled from Shiro’s neck the day before sat innocently on a folded cloth amongst the other supplies, all of which rested on a metal table to Shiro’s right.

Hunk and Pidge entered soon after Keith, talking nonsense about the chunk of metal in Pidge’s hands, and then the entire Voltron team was present and nervously waiting for Coran, Pidge, and Shiro to be ready.

“It will basically create a second, separate activation radius within the Castle that is disguised as a distress signal. Lotor’s sensors probably pick up on tons of distress signals a day and obviously he just ignores them, since he sucks, so he shouldn’t be suspicious once I turn this on to activate Shiro’s chip,” Pidge was explaining to Hunk. “The real issue is whether or not the clones will be able to sense Shiro even if he’s in an unconscious state.”

“I guess we will be finding out soon,” Allura chimed in.

“It’ll be okay guys,” Shiro soothed. “I have confidence in Keith’s plan and none of this should take longer than a few minutes.”

Keith swallowed hard when Coran began to tie down Shiro’s limbs. “Precautionary measure,” he explained, leaving just enough give for Shiro to promptly lay on his side.

“Let’s get this over with,” Shiro murmured, looking up at everyone with a reassuring expression. Keith stood close-by, gripping the supports on the opposite side of the bed to Coran. He sensed Lance had moved closer as well but didn’t acknowledge it.

Coran nodded quickly, and sure enough, Shiro’s breathing steadied and his eyes blinked slower until they remained shut. He was unconscious, and Keith had to look away when Coran grabbed the scalpel.

The room was quiet minus the occasional ting of metal on metal from Coran as he worked. There was a silent anticipation coating the air, nobody wanting to say or do anything in what Keith assumed was fear of distracting the man from what he was doing.

Once Coran gave the go-ahead and Pidge tinkered with the device in their hand, Keith had to stop himself from grabbing Shiro’s hands. His nerves spiked and influenced the thought, but logically it would only risk interfering with the plan, so he gripped the bed railing tighter and squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for it to be over.

And then it was. He gathered that the device worked because of Pidge’s quiet exclamation of glee, and the only sound from Shiro’s end was the uptick in speed of his heartbeat, which Coran had concurred was from the chip activating. The few passing seconds had been like a pounding gong in Keith’s ears.

He felt a ghost of fingertips touch his shoulder, but they disappeared when Shiro shot up in front of them, his hand palming the stitches at the back of his neck where Coran had already removed the chip again.

Allura, being the most impatient out of all of them, took in the sweat on Shiro’s skin and the heaving of his shoulders. “Well?” She asked, squeezing her fingers nervously.

“Are you okay?” Keith cut in quickly.

Shiro nodded, and Keith took in a deep breath. “I’m okay, and yeah, it worked.”

“Did you find out where they’re relocating?” Pidge asked next.

Shiro gave Keith a wary look. “The Quantum Abyss. With Lotor’s enhanced quintessence, he can get through just fine to his previously abandoned planet at the center, but it would take us a considerably longer amount of time. He knows that just a few months could pass for us as we try to make it through, but years could pass outside of it, which includes the colony planet in the center where he plans to safely continue his tests.”

“We cannot let him reach it,” Allura simmered in anger. “We do not have time to figure out a way through whilst avoiding the time flow difference. Do you know when he will be leaving his current base?”

“In a few vargas,” He admitted grimly.

Allura paled, “That isn’t nearly enough time! I’ll contact the Blade now and call for a coalition meeting. We must plan quickly or-“

“Allura, it’s okay,” Shiro reassured, “I also know how Lotor is corrupting quintessence…and how to undo it.”

Everyone goes quiet, and Keith had never seen Allura look so relieved.

This was amazing news. Aside from trying to find where Lotor had been hiding and what he planned to do with his poison, the team had been trying to figure out how he had been corrupting quintessence. Not only was he able to use it to traverse through the Quantum Abyss with ease, manufacture weapons so powerful they sometimes exploded from the pressure, and somehow manipulate the magic contained inside of Honerva’s cloning technology, but that same corrupted quintessence was what made up one half of the horrible poison he’d created. Knowing how Lotor had corrupted the quintessence could open up a world of possibilities on how to stop him.

“Are you sure about this, Shiro?” Allura asked. Shiro nodded.

“Would we be able to purify it? Or undo the corruption somehow?” Pidge asked next.

Shiro shrugged. “Maybe if it was corrupted, but it isn’t. Lotor isn’t corrupting quintessence like Zarkon was while he was alive; he’s concentrating it. Using too much of it in ways that are sometimes too much for it to handle.”

Pidge looked down at their scarred hands at Shiro’s explanation.

“So, when the Olkari said that there was too much quintessence active in the bodies of Lotor’s poison victims- which is why it fused with their blood after death- they were completely on the nose?” Coran asked, and Pidge nodded at him.

“If only somebody had realized sooner,” they said in disappointment. “We could have been running tests this whole time and figuring out how to unravel Lotor’s quintessence, instead of trying to figure out how to purify it. No wonder nothing was working. Now we know where he’s going but have no clue how to undo the damage he’s already done.”

Allura stepped up then and put a reassuring hand on Pidge’s shoulder. Keith quirked a smile at the unexpected show of reassurance between the two of them. “It may not be entirely too late,” Allura started, “My practice in magic and controlling quintessence has helped us in the past, and I think it could help us now. Perhaps I could contain the consciences of the poisoned clones, similarly to the way I transferred Shiro’s from the Black Lion to the Kuron clone, and preserved Lance’s when we lost him during the mission for the Omega Shield-“

Lost him?

“Excuse me?” Keith interrupted. Lance pressed the tips of his fingers into his eyes out of clear frustration.

Allura stopped speaking and looked at Lance with obvious guilt. “I am…so sorry, Lance.”

“Sorry, Lance? You’re saying sorry to Lance right now?” Keith raised his voice in disbelief, his heart beating quick and angry in his chest. “Where’s my apology? How long were you all going to keep this a secret? Who else has died while I was gone?!”

“Keith, please calm down. I asked them not to tell you because I knew it would be too much,” Lance explained, reaching for Keith’s wrist but thought better of it when Keith held his arm back in defiance. “You already had to hear about Shiro’s time trapped in limbo, I didn’t want to drop another bomb on you.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He thought that they were done with the secrets, and the withheld truths, and with keeping him in the dark. Was he ever going to feel like he truly knew his teammates again?

And why withhold this for so long? Keith remembered the moment during the memory meld when Lance was trying so hard to keep something hidden, but Keith could see it clearly now; a memory he didn’t even know he had tucked away but could access almost unwillingly now that Allura had spoken the words, and he hated it. He hated that he could now relive Lance’s death in his head whenever he was reminded. At least with Shiro’s memory there was no pain, no moment of his heart stopping, and no fear. His conscience was there and then it wasn’t; replaced by a clone and leaving his spirit to nearly pass until the Black Lion preserved his quintessence within herself.

It was different with Lance. Keith could feel the moment Lance decided he would throw himself in the crossfire in order to save Allura. He could feel the shock of pain, and then the momentary nothingness. It was awful.

“I can’t handle this right now,” Keith admitted to them. He was hit with just how much he couldn’t handle it once the Bridge doors slid shut behind him and he realized he couldn’t breathe- his lungs failing him as his vision blurred with angry tears.

He had to give himself credit because past Keith would have never been able to handle all of this in such a level-headed manner, but even that truth wasn’t enough to calm him down. He was spiraling again, and this time it was overlaid with the image of Lance’s lifeless body.

Lance died.

Lance died. Shiro’s body was ransacked by a clone. Voltron was deceived by Lotor as he created a mind-controlling poison behind their backs. Meanwhile, Keith had been frolicking through the Abyss playing house with his mom and pet wolf for two months and didn’t contribute a damn thing. Why was he trying to force his way back into somewhere he didn’t belong anymore? Why was he still standing in the Castle-ship when he would probably be of more use to the Blade, where he didn’t need to know things to get a job done. What the hell was he doing?

Keith leaned against whatever was closest to him, which happened to be the cold, metal wall. Even that wasn’t enough to knock him out of the state he was in, and he accepted defeat when the tears fell fast, and his legs began to fail him. He had made it as far as the opposite side of the hall, so he watched when the bridge doors slid open again, Shiro and Lance headed straight for him. Keith hid his face in his hands out of embarrassment and breathed in whatever air his lungs would let him. “Please. Leave me alone. I can’t-,” he tried, but Shiro saved him from finishing his sentence.

“You don’t need to face this right now, but you shouldn’t be alone either.”

He didn’t even have to try walking as both Shiro and Lance supported his sides in the effort to get him back to his room. He curled up on his bed the second they helped him into it, and he was made aware of the very unfortunate lack of Kosmo there with him. Usually the wolf helped calm him down.

“You can go now,” Keith addressed them, pulling the blanket up over him and then deciding against it. He pushed it off the bed entirely, unsure of whether his body felt hot or cold, and not enjoying the feeling of being trapped under something when he could hardly breathe to begin with.

“Are you going to be okay if we leave?” Shiro asked, clearly worried about what he probably assumed was a tantrum that Keith was throwing.

Keith only nodded, his fingers curling to form fists.

There was a silence and some shared glances between the two others in the room. Then, Shiro left, and Keith stared stubbornly at the floor, not wanting to look at Lance as he said whatever it was that he had stayed behind to say.

“I can’t leave you like this without at least apologizing,” Lance whispered, his voice uncharacteristically hoarse. If Keith had to guess, he would assume that Lance was about to cry too.

“Way too soon for that,” Keith bit back.

“Keith, please. I wasn’t ready to talk about this so I don’t know what I should say.”

“Maybe the truth? Instead of continuing to keep things from me.”

“This is the last secret I’ve been keeping, and it’s because I was trying to figure out a way to go about it that wouldn’t cause something like this,” Lance gestured to Keith’s balled up form.

Keith stood up suddenly, his feet touching the cold floor and his hands tangling into his hair; frustrated with himself more than anything else at this point. “I’m the one who should be sorry,” Keith whispered.

“What?” Lance asked, either out of confusion or because he couldn’t hear Keith.

“I’m the one who should be saying sorry,” Keith repeated. “I know I found Kosmo, and got to know my mother more, and found some coordinates that helped us find Lotor, but I’m finding it harder and harder to justify that stupid fucking mission.”

“Keith…” Lance stepped closer; reached out to Keith.

But Keith retreated, the back of his legs hitting the bedframe. He slumped back down, sitting on the edge of the bed and burying his face in his hands. His inability to breathe was hitting him again with full force. “If I had stayed… maybe we would have found Lotor another way… or maybe I could h- could have convinced Allura not to make a truce with him… or maybe I would have realized sooner that Shiro wasn’t himself. Maybe- I don’t know- I could have done something to save you?”

Lance is knelt down on the floor in front of him then, trying to pry Keith’s hands from his eyes. “Keith, I’m not dead, Allura saved me. The truce was made but Lotor would have created his poison regardless. Shiro is himself now, and you’re the reason we’ve made any progress at all after two years.”

Keith gasped at a particularly sharp pang in his chest, and let Lance take hold of his wrists. He met his eyes with frustration in his own. “Coordinates, Lance! That is- that’s all I’ve brought to the table! Everything else has just been…” he stopped to drag in a painful breath “I’ve just been a nonstop problem for Voltron to solve since I’ve been back. Red Paladin or not, I think that instead of helping you guys, I’ve just been causing more problems on top of what you’re already dealing with- what am I even doing here?”

Keith yanked a hand free from Lance’s grip to grab at his own chest, gripping the fabric there. It felt like all of his body parts were falling asleep at once.

“Hey,” Lance started, taking in Keith’s shattered state. He pressed his own free hand to the side of Keith’s neck. “Keith, you’re having a panic attack, you need to think about something else.”

Think about something else? This is all he’d been able to think about since returning from the Abyss mission and finding all of his friends had learned to live without him, and now he had something a million times worse he could add to the list. It was like Allura's words were a key, and the memory was a locked door in Keith's mind he wasn't aware of. A rescue mission, a shield and a laser, Allura in the crossfire, Lance saving her but losing himself until there was nothing. As soon as Keith thought the awful vision was done, he sees it all over again from Allura's point of view, with a clear glimpse at Lance's lifeless body. A stab to the gut over and over again. 

“I can’t,” Keith muttered, gripping the bedframe tightly and feeling like he might throw up. “All I can think, and feel, and see is your dead body,” he gagged and swallowed thickly because he didn’t trust his legs to function enough to take him to the bathroom. “I can’t breathe.”

Lance held the sides of Keith’s head, bringing their faces close and forcing Keith’s eyes to meet his. “Keith, I am right here. We are in your room, in the castle, and this is real, okay? The memory you’re seeing isn’t real, and it isn’t how things played out,” Lance stated matter-of-fact. “I lived, and we are both here right now- look at me please- here.” Keith’s skin felt unbearably cold as soon as Lance let go, but then he was leading Keith’s own hands up to his cheeks, just as Lance had done to him before. Keith realized then just how much his hands were trembling, and he didn’t want them to. He wanted to be able to feel Lance’s skin properly; he wanted to make sure Lance was actually there.

Lance smiled tightly at him. “See? It’s okay, I know it’s a lot but it’s real, I promise.”

Keith couldn’t manage any words at that moment, but he hoped it was clear how grateful he was when Lance covered Keith’s hands with his own to keep them from trembling. His eyes roamed Lance’s face as he tried to steady his breaths; tried to match the rise and fall of Lance’s own shoulders. He watched the deep brown of Lance’s eyes flit back and forth between his, the side of Lance’s thumb brushing over the ridges of his knuckles, the occasional clench of Lance’s sharp jaw as he waited for Keith to calm down, and it all seemed real enough.

But the memory was still there, the fine details too vivid, and even the Red Lion’s clear interference in his mind wasn’t enough to block it out. Just seeing Lance in front of him wasn’t enough when the images reoccurring in his thoughts were starting to overlay with what he was looking at like some sick hallucination. What he needed was a distraction.

Lance’s eyes widened as Keith’s hold on him tightened and dragged his face closer and closer. Closer until their lips touched and finally Keith didn’t see anything when he closed his eyes.

He just felt.

He felt Lance’s hands stiffen over his, the flutter of Lance’s lashes against his cheeks, the ridges of Lance’s lips as the kiss turned from airy to bruising, and it all felt very, very real to Keith now.

As he pulled away to catch his breath this time, he held on tight to Lance’s cheeks to keep him in place. When their eyes met again, Lance’s thoughts weren’t as clear on his face as they usually were. Keith blinked. “Lance…”

Lance opened his mouth to speak, Keith feeling the pressure of Lance’s hands over his start to retreat, and Keith realized just how much he couldn’t deal with being abandoned again. He cut Lance off, “Okay, I’m sorry, but please don’t run away again. We don’t have to talk, or kiss- definitely not kiss- but I really don’t want to be left alone anymore so please don’t-“  

“Keith.”

“Please don’t leave.”

When Lance’s hands left his, Keith was ready to get on his knees and beg. He didn’t trust himself to not spiral again without Lance there to ground him. He pulled his own hands back, the fear that he’d severely overstepped slowly creeping in on him, but Lance moved to grab Keith’s upper arms instead, guiding him off the bed and kissing him so abruptly that Keith nearly let the momentum take him and they both would have toppled to the ground.

But Lance caught Keith’s weight with his own body and pulled them flush together. Keith couldn’t breathe for an entirely different reason now and pressed his palms flat to Lance’s chest to hold himself steady. He could feel the rapid heartbeat there and suddenly felt that maybe Lance needed this just as much as he did.

All insecurities Keith had festered in after the way last night’s kiss had ended were slowly fading away, and they completely dissipated when Lance pulled back to look at him, a soft flush on his cheeks and a determined look in his eyes. This time, he didn’t walk away.

“There is nowhere else I want to be right now than here. With you.”

Chapter Text

“Really? You don’t want to check on the team? Or hide in your room and scheme up a plan against Lotor?” Keith joked, but he could hear the undercurrent of worry in his own voice and it nearly made him cringe.

Lance pretended to consider all of those things, so Keith shook him with the hands he had fisted in Lance’s shirt. “Okay, no! Of course not! Even if I did want to do any of that, my desire to stay here with you is more important.”

Keith almost let the implications of those words get to him, but he wasn’t ready to forgive Lance just yet. “Where was this so-called desire the first time you kissed me?” Keith asked, his arms finding their way around Lance’s shoulders. His sharp gaze was a warning for Lance to not say something he’ll regret. 

Lance justifiably stiffened, watching him carefully and clearly reacting to the feel of Keith’s body pressed to his. “It was, uh…” he trailed off, and there’s a clear, rare moment where Lance is nervous with a loss for words and Keith is the one being bold. It’d turned the previously delicate moment between them into something charged. A fuse waiting to be lit. “It was there. It was definitely there, Keith, I just…wasn’t sure.”

Keith’s head tilted and his eyebrows rose a fraction of an inch in disbelief. “Wasn’t sure about kissing me?”

“I wasn’t sure I deserved to,” Lance corrected quickly. The sudden admission had both of their cheeks turning red. “And I was hoping our first kiss would have been under better circumstances. Instead, I rushed things, and I was worried that you felt like you had to kiss me just because I told you how much I care about you, and—”

Keith cut him off with a quick kiss, and then another just to prove how much he did not feel obligated to do so. Lance seemed to forget what he was saying after that.

“First of all, you definitely deserve to kiss me, Lance. Only I get to decide that, and my answer is always yes,” Keith explained as he pressured Lance backwards until his back was pressed to the wall, their lips inches apart, “Second, I can’t believe you were conspiring our first kiss before it even happened!”

“I wouldn’t call it conspiring,” Lance tried. His hands found their way to Keith’s hips after seconds of politely trying to find somewhere else to rest them, but Keith wouldn’t budge his hold around Lance’s neck for that exact reason.

“So, what was your plan?” Keith asked, aiming a curious but sultry stare up at him. “How did you want our first kiss to play out?”

“Well, I definitely would have asked permission first, since I sort of sprung it on you out of nowhere. And I would have liked to buy you flowers, or a knife- or both,” Lance started. He let out a quiet, strangled noise as Keith pressed in closer, entangling both of their legs until their thighs had nowhere to move but up. “It would have been somewhere with a better view… and I wouldn’t have run away after,” Lance concluded.

Keith smiled. He liked the sound of that, but he didn’t have the patience to wait for flowers, or a new knife, or for the location and timing to be perfect. It was a nice image though, and he can’t say he didn’t imagine what it would be like to kiss Lance before he actually got to do it.

“So, ask me,” Keith said.

Lance blinked, his grip on Keith’s sides growing tighter. “What?”

“You know what!” Keith laughed. “Ask for my permission.”

He could feel the moment Lance’s legs gave out, because the weight of him was suddenly being held up by Keith’s thigh. Lance quickly righted himself, but not before letting out another soft sound, one that Keith almost mimicked just from the sight of how undone Lance had become. “Are you sure?” Lance asked, eyes searching Keith’s. “I don’t want to rush you and mess things up—”

“We’re paladins of Voltron, rushing doesn’t apply to us,” Keith countered.

Lance didn’t put up much of a fight, but he still seemed unsure. “What about your panic attack? You’re sure you still want this after going through that?”

“Depends. Have any other secrets you’re keeping from me?” Keith berated, a dare that he really did want answers to but hoped there wouldn’t be one. He wasn’t sure what he would do if Lance admitted there was more.

“Now that it’s obvious I’m absolutely crazy about you,” Lance said, breathless. “No there’s nothing else to tell.”

“Good,” Keith got out through the sudden wave of affection he felt for the man in front of him. “Now ask me.”

“Can I kiss you, Keith?”

Instead of answering, Keith beat him to the punch, trapping Lance’s mouth in a heated kiss that left no room for him to get the upper hand. It felt right to Keith, like he was making up for all of the frustration from Lance walking out on him the first time, and for all of the times he’d wanted to kiss Lance since then, and for all of the times Lance left him in the dark.

Keith took the lead for once. He brought his hand to Lance’s nape, sifted his fingers through the curls there and tugged, then licked into Lance’s resulting gasp. It was Lance’s turn to grab on to Keith’s shoulder, his stance slipping with every open-mouthed kiss Keith planted on him.

Lance’s lips felt amazing, Keith thought, and so did the fact that he finally got to feel like he was one step ahead since his return to Voltron. The affect he had on Lance was intoxicating. He relished every sound he could get out of him, which was a lot considering Lance had practically turned to putty in his arms.

“Take my shirt off,” Keith demanded between the kisses he pressed to Lance’s soft, pliant lips, and Lance did; he ran his hands down Keith’s front and clumsily pulled his shirt over his head for him. Keith was quick to do the same, and they both stared for a few moments. Keith had enough time to run his hands down Lance’s bare shoulders, his chest, his filled-out ribs, and his abs- just like he had truly wanted to the first time he’d seen him shirtless- before Lance was chasing his lips again.

“I’ve wanted you—” Lance started, and Keith pulled at his bottom lip with semi-sharp fangs in between words, “for so long, Keith.” Another quick bite at the corner of his mouth. “Even when we thought you were the enemy—” Lance gasped at the sting of Keith’s teeth scraping the sensitive skin below his ear, “the thought of finding out just how soft that smart mouth of yours is has haunted me every night,” he admitted. It almost had Keith revealing that Lance’s mouth had made appearances in a lot of his dreams too. Instead, he bit down on the soft of Lance’s neck and gloated over Lance’s inability to stop himself from rutting into his hip.

“I’ve been here the whole time,” Keith pointed out. His breath stuttered as Lance ran blunt nails over his lower back in an attempt to bring their bodies closer together. “You could’ve had me.”

Lance gave a quick laugh, but it was all air. “Didn’t know you felt the same.”

“Am I making my feelings clear enough for you now?” Keith asked, and finally closed the distance between them, pressing his trapped, aching dick flush with Lance’s and lighting the fuse.

“Crystal,” Lance choked. 

Just as Keith reached for and undid the zipper of Lance’s jeans, Lance met his lips for another heated kiss, and Keith used the moment to tug his gloves from his hands. When Keith finally wrapped warm fingers around Lance’s leaking cock, Lance moaned filthily into his mouth.

Every slow stroke had Lance desperately chasing the friction by bucking into Keith’s hand, the tip of his dick occasionally smearing precum across Keith’s abdomen. Each movement had Keith’s own cock twitching, until he couldn’t hold back after hearing every one of Lance’s cries and pleas, so he undid his own zipper.

Lance was already on it, spitting so lewdly into his palm that Keith thought it should be illegal, and freeing him from his boxers. The sudden, dizzying sensation of their spit-slick cocks in Lance’s sure grip had Keith reeling forward, resting his hands against the wall on either side of Lance’s head to keep himself upright. He watched with heavy-lidded eyes while Lance stroked the both of them, until both of their slow thrusts were synced up, and Keith could feel what little control he already had on his galra form slipping further. He noticed his nails grow sharper, and his true fangs fight their way through his gums.

“Fuck, Lance, wait—”

“No,” Lance said with finality. He dragged one of Keith’s hands down and placed it over the one holding their now full and reddened cocks. He then used that free hand to grab at Keith’s chin, pushing a thumb into his mouth and pressing down until Keith had no choice but to open it wide. Lance licked at one of his bared fangs and smiled. “I like it.”

He’s trying to kill me.

Suddenly, Lance’s pace was devastating, and Keith was frantically trying to keep up. Now his moans were just as frequent and sometimes even louder than Lance’s, to the point where he had to press his lips into Lance’s shoulder to stay quiet. Lance only placed a reassuring hand on the back of his neck and jerked them off harder, occasionally running his thumb over both of their heads and sending Keith spiraling further.

When it all seemed to become too much for the both of them, Lance used his hold on Keith’s neck to press him further into his bare shoulder. “Bite me.”

“But Lance—” Keith tried to raise his head at that, but Lance wouldn’t let him.

“Do it if you want me to let you come,” Lance demanded, and Keith didn’t know when the dynamic between them had shifted but this side of Lance had him feeling just as delirious. Keith could tell by his tone that he really would leave him high and dry, but Keith couldn’t bring himself to argue because he’d wanted to and had been biting Lance ever since they’d gotten their shirts off. How could he refuse when Lance had met him with soft moans and a twitching dick every time?

So, Keith scraped the tips of his sharp canines across Lance’s shoulder experimentally, taking in the way Lance swore and picked up his pace again, dragging both their hands down their shafts in quick, determined movements.

“Keith,” Lance warned through a moan, and the way he said his name had Keith caught up and hitting his limits too. He licked across Lance’s neck and positioned his fangs at the soft juncture where his neck met his shoulder. Just as he could feel Lance’s muscles tighten, he bit down just enough to puncture skin.

Lance cried out, immediately coming undone and spilling over their hands. In his haze, he grabbed at the back of Keith’s hair, simultaneously holding his mouth in place and tugging so hard it should have been painful, but all Keith felt was pleasure. That, and Lance’s fixation of continuing to jerk them off even through his sensitivity was what had Keith coming right after.

Except when Keith did come, he kept coming. It didn’t stop until both of their hands and spent dicks were covered, and it was starting to drip down onto Lance’s thighs. Keith was mortified.

“Lance, I am so sorry, that’s never happened before,” Keith tried, but Lance only disentangled himself, slid down the remainder of the wall until he was eye level with Keith’s waist and licked his cock and both of their hands clean. By the time he was done, Keith was almost fully hard again and Lance wasn’t far behind.

“Probably a side effect of the galra genes,” Lance said, not seeming bothered by it at all. “I thought it was hot,” he admitted.

Keith watched his mouth form every word, mesmerized by everything Lance’s tongue had just done to him and wondering what he had to do to make it happen again. “If you say so.”

Lance dragged Keith by the elbow towards the bed. “Wanna see if I can make you do it again?”

----------

Keith shivered as Lance drew shapes on his skin with a feather-light touch. After a few hours of fooling around and finally getting to do something about the pent-up desire they’d been feeling for each other, Keith had collapsed on the outer side of the bed, trapping Lance in with the wall despite figuring out that he hadn’t been planning on going anywhere. Regardless of knowing, Keith was still feeling especially selfish and possessive in that moment.

Of course, he’d always admired and been attracted to Lance, but he never would have guessed he’d get to be with him in this way. He had always figured that Lance would end up with a pretty human girl, or a handsome alien warrior that could sweep him off his feet.

Keith’s expression soured.

Lance, who had been staring at Keith’s face since they’d laid down, immediately noticed.

“What’s wrong?”

Keith almost let his words run free- he was willing to tell Lance anything at this point if he simply asked- but thought better of it. “I probably shouldn’t say.”

Lance adjusted his elbow to hold his head up, that way he could look down and see Keith properly. “If it has you looking like that, maybe we should talk about it.”

He was right, and Keith definitely didn’t want to sit on the matter forever. It just clearly wasn’t the right time, but with the impending battle they would soon have to face, Keith wasn’t sure there would be a right time.

“What’s going on between you and Lotor?” Keith asked bluntly. If he didn’t get it out quickly and all at once, he wasn’t convinced he’d be able to at all.

Lance seemed at least a little surprised by the question, but he continued to run the fingers of his free hand along Keith’s waist, up to his shoulder and along his neck until he reached Keith’s chin and he grabbed it between his index and his thumb. “Are you jealous, Keith?”

Keith attempted to look away or hide his face, but Lance wouldn’t let up on his hold. “I’m being serious, Lance. I haven’t said anything until now because I wanted to respect your privacy but if we want this to be something then I think I have the right to know.”

Lance’s immediate smile was blinding. “You want us to be something?”

Keith could tear his hair from his scalp. “Clearly, I do you idiot! I like you a lot, which I thought was obvious at this point, or do you need me to suck your dick a third time to prove it?”

Lance definitely didn’t seem against the offer, but he tilted Keith’s chin up and kissed him slow and deep. He didn’t pull back again until Keith had nearly lifted himself up to equal elevation to keep Lance’s lips on his for even just a few seconds longer. He imagined he must have looked desperate and disheveled, but he didn’t care. If Lance had kept going, he probably would have forgotten all about his question anyway.

“I like you too, and you don’t have to worry about Lotor. My feelings for you have long outlasted anything I’ve ever felt for him. It probably makes me seem cruel, but half of the reason I even accepted his advances was to help me get over you. My grieving had lasted for so long, and I was seriously falling behind compared to the others. Besides, I couldn’t like anything about him once I found out about his experiments- traitors or not, those people didn’t deserve the torture he put them through.”

Keith nodded at the information. He could nearly see it through their shared memories; the way Lance seemed to accept whatever Lotor would give him, even if it wasn’t what he truly wanted. The way Lance couldn’t bring himself to look at him anymore once he’d been caught in the crossfire of Lotor’s poison. Keith quickly pulled himself back, not wanting to invade Lance’s privacy by sifting too far into the memories he was given access to. Besides, Keith would only hurt himself in the end if it was all he let himself think about.

He focused in on something else instead. “You liked me before you were with Lotor?”

Lance’s cheeks turned a deep shade of red, and his hand left Keith’s face to cover his own out of embarrassment. “I knew you wouldn’t let that slide. I’ve liked you since the first few days that we made it to the Castle. It probably didn’t help that I found you extremely attractive while we were still at the Garrison.”

Keith only stared, mouth open in disbelief.

“I’m serious!” Lance cried.

Keith could only scoff. “You had a really weird way of showing it.”

“Yeah, well, for all I knew you were straight or asexual and I was trying not to get my hopes up. Forcing my feelings down was a useless attempt once we had to spend so much time together. I think I needed a full three days to process when you decided to come out to the team, and even then, I was convinced you’d never look my way.”

“Would you believe me if I said I was always looking your way?”

“Absolutely not,” Lance said quickly, grabbing Keith by the shoulders for support. “Keith, please tell me you didn’t have feelings for me while I was convinced it was one-sided the entire time?”

Keith cringed and ran a soft hand over Lance’s forearm. “Maybe not the entire time? More like, the day you saved Coran’s life from that bomb impact. I realized just how upset I would be if we lost you, and suddenly I was thinking about all of the things I still wanted to learn about you and obsessing over how brave you were, risking your life for somebody you had barely just met. I definitely knew I felt something for you at that point.”

There were a few moments where Lance seemed like he might cry out of sheer frustration, but instead he gathered Keith up in his arms and squeezed the life out of him. In between the kisses he left on Keith’s face and neck and shoulders, he said, “It’s okay… it’s fine. I’m not going to lose my mind over this… because we’re here now… and everything turned out great.”

Keith, in an attempt to reassure and tell him that things did in fact work out for them in the end, tried and failed to push Lance’s face away with his arms squished between them when there was a sudden knock at the door. Keith used it as an excuse to free himself from Lance’s grip.

“Keith?” Shiro asked through the door, and Keith didn’t hesitate to open it despite being dressed in nothing but his boxers.

“Wait a sec!” Lance whisper yelled, scrambling to find his shirt, but Keith had already activated the door and so he only had enough time to pull the covers up to his shoulders. “I am so sorry, Shiro—”

“Shiro already knows about us,” Keith cut in.

Lance gave a dramatic gasp and grabbed the closest thing in front of him- his shirt he had been searching for- and lobbed it at the back of Keith’s head. Keith’s reflexes were quicker, grabbing it out of the air in a move that he knew would only piss Lance off more. He pulled the shirt over his head and turned his attention back to Shiro. “Did you want to talk in the hall?”

“It’s okay,” Shiro said to Keith, but while giving Lance a sympathetic look. “I’m just here to deliver dinner on Hunk’s orders and update you guys.”

Keith took the plates and passed on to Lance, who tried to maneuver his arms in a way that would keep the covers wrapped over his shoulders but to no avail. Eventually he gave up and shimmied to the edge of the bed where he swiped Keith’s originally abandoned shirt off the floor and hurriedly put it on.

Keith stared in bewilderment for the entire ordeal. “The whole team has seen you naked, Lance, why are you freaking out?”

Lance crossed his arms in defiance. “It’s different now! I can’t act or be seen inappropriately by my boyfriend’s brother; I have to make a good impression!”

Keith pinched the bridge of his nose and tried his best not to cross the room and jump Lance’s bones again. Hearing him refer to Keith as his boyfriend was doing things to his heart that he didn’t want to acknowledge while Shiro was still standing in the doorway.

“Don’t worry about it, Lance, you already have my approval,” Shiro informed, his smile suggestive in a way that even has Keith embarrassed now.

“Oh my god, I’m changing the subject,” Keith blurted, gripping his plate of food tighter so he doesn’t succumb to the urge of throwing it in either of their faces. “How are you feeling?” Keith asked Shiro instead, hoping that the answer wouldn’t be that there were some unfortunate side effects to putting the chip back in Shiro’s neck for a temporary amount of time.

“I’m doing okay; however, I wouldn’t be upset if I never had to put another piece of technology inside of my body ever again,” Shiro admitted. “How about you? You seem to be feeling better.”

Keith blatantly ignored the teasing implications of his words and gave Lance a sidelong look. “I am, so long as team Voltron is done with the surprises and secrets, I think I can only go up from here,” he said, leaving out the part where being Lance’s boyfriend- holy shit- could definitely help him mentally recover quicker, especially now that he didn’t have to do it alone.

“That’s good to hear,” Shiro answered, looking genuinely happy for the both of them. “I hate to say this now but enjoy the mood while it lasts. The Blade will be arriving to the Castle in the next few vargas so we can plan and prepare. Allura wants us ready to fight and intercept Lotor’s plans by the end of the day.”

Keith nodded and Shiro left them to have their time and eat their plates of food. Keith couldn’t even bring himself to touch his until he asked Lance the question that’s been weighing on his mind since the meeting earlier.

“Are you going to be okay? Facing Lotor in a battle?”

Lance shrugged, but the emotion on his face is unreadable. “I’m a paladin of Voltron. I’ll do what I have to, even if that means delivering the killing blow.”

Keith hoped it wouldn’t come to that. “Don’t worry, you have the team, you have our allies, and you have me. Nobody has to do any of this on their own. That’s why we’re going to win.”

Chapter Text

There was only little time for Keith to spend with Lance before they were being summoned. He had spent every second of it exploring Lance’s body, his skin, and his scars; committing him to memory and providing a gentle touch that Lance probably hadn’t experienced in a long time. Keith knew he had been doing a good job when Lance had practically fallen asleep in his arms.

In his tired state, Lance had run his fingers softly through Keith’s hair in return until he found his way to the back of Keith’s neck. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes cracked open to find Keith’s. “I should have never let you do this to yourself.”

He was referring to the recently healed scar, where Keith had used a scalpel to cut himself open and prove he wasn’t a clone. Keith regularly forgot it was there considering he couldn’t see it, but he imagined Lance could clearly feel it every time he touched his neck.

“It proved my innocence, didn’t it? I think it needed to happen,” Keith admitted.

Lance shook his head, his eyes drowsy with exhaustion. He was going to have to find his energy fast for the oncoming battle. “I stopped doubting you when you were willing to kill somebody with your brother’s face to save my life.”

Lance’s words were soft and reassuring, but Keith still went rigid. He’d had some time to heal, but still had the occasional nightmare about it. He’d come to terms with the fact that he’d done the right thing, but he couldn’t outrun the guilt he still felt. He wondered how long it was going to take before he could finally move on from it. It’s not like he’d ever do that to his real teammates- to his friends.

Lance noticed the shift immediately and gripped Keith’s cheeks in his hands, rubbing his thumbs across his cheekbones. “Sorry, touchy subject, we can talk about something else.”

Keith relaxed at the touch and couldn’t fight the smile taking over his face. Thinking back to when he first made it back to Voltron- to the version of Lance who was the least trusting of the entire team- he couldn’t believe this is where they were now. Boyfriends. He couldn’t believe that he’d ever be with Lance in this way, even after his feelings for him had become increasingly obvious the more time they’d spent together. He had just come to terms with the fact that nothing would come from it- that despite everything, Lance could never feel the same way about him- and Keith was ready to avoid facing his feelings for that reason.

Yet they’d made it to this point, curled up in Keith’s bed. In each other’s arms as they discussed what kind of dates they could go on once they finally put a stop to Lotor’s plans and enjoying how easily their problems seemed to disappear while they were together. Up until said problems appeared in the form of Shiro knocking on the door to collect them.

Now, the two of them joined the others in the meeting room to discuss every possible strategy for the upcoming mission. Everyone has made an appearance, the room packed full of Voltron’s team, many of the Blade of Marmora members, and as many loyal coalition fighters they could spare. They go over the possibilities over and over, so much so that Keith already had them memorized by the second time around, so he proceeded to tune everyone out and cast Lance’s profile a longing stare every once in a while.

Now that the two of them had established what they were, the danger they were about to walk into was all the more devastating to think about for Keith. What could Lance be feeling now that they are getting ready to truly face Lotor? Keith could only hope it won’t reopen old wounds for him.

While glancing at him, Keith’s eyes caught on the part of Lance’s neck that’s exposed through his armor. All that’s visible on his skin above the neckline of his fabric under-suit are the small speckles of healed skin from the time everyone was trying their best to find an antidote to cure the poison in his body. Seeing them reminded Keith of a previous time he’d notice the marks on Lance’s neck, and how some of those scars seemed a little too wide and a little too evenly placed to be inflicted by a needle.

A bite mark, Keith realized, his fists clenching at his sides. Just like the one he’d given Lance just earlier in the evening. If he pulled down the fabric of Lance’s armor now, he’d probably find the placement to be nearly identical.

Keith seethes. The only times Lance had recollected his time with Lotor, he’d expressed how uncomfortable it had been. How he felt like he’d needed Lotor to get him through his difficult emotions, and how Lotor had so clearly taken advantage of that. Had Lance asked Lotor to mark him during their intimate moments together? Or did Lotor decide on his own and mark Lance against his will? Did Lance ask Keith to do the same in order to overwrite what Lotor did and therefore make a new mark of his own volition?  

Keith shifted in place, lifting a hand to Lance’s neck and running soft fingers from the back of his ear to his collarbone. Lance’s skin was warm under his suit, and he gave Keith a blinding smile. It was such a Lance move, to share so much happiness with others while facing such dangerous situations. It was all Keith needed to see to calm his nerves and answer his questions.

Lance was trying to heal, just like Keith had been. They were going to get through this, and on the other side, they would finally have each other.

----------

“That’s gotta be Lotor’s ship!” Hunk shouted through the comms from inside the Yellow Lion. “Look how fancy and high tech it looks compared to the others, this guy and his ego!”

There were less ships traveling than Keith would have thought, but with such a quick turnaround, Lotor probably had to downsize his resources and team to avoid Voltron catching up to him. Surely, he wasn’t expecting them to find him so quickly. Maybe they’d have the upper hand.

“It is,” Allura spoke, her voice slightly echoed. She had joined Pidge in the Green Lion while Coran stayed behind on the Castleship and away from the danger of battle. Lotor’s group of fighter ships would be too fast for Coran to be of any help, and nobody wanted to risk the lives of the non-fighter inhabitants on board. “I know we have more numbers but don’t underestimate him. He may not have expected us to find him, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t prepare in case we did.”

“Because Lotor can never make anything easy,” Lance muttered.

“At least he’s aware he’s dramatic,” Keith joked, which startled a few nervous laughs out of the team. Everyone’s confidence must have taken a hit from Allura’s previous words.

Perhaps they were waiting for some words of encouragement from Shiro’s comm, but Lance beat him to speaking. “Prepared or not, Lotor has been in hiding for a long time, and he doesn’t know how hard we’ve all worked in the meantime. He is going to underestimate us and that is why we’re going to win. Besides, he doesn’t know we’ve figured out how to reverse the effects of his poisoned army, which we have our secret weapon, Allura, to thank for that.”

“Possible secret weapon,” Pidge corrected, always the one to point out the technicalities. “We didn’t have time to test the theory and Allura’s only handled life-infused quintessence twice before.”

Lance scoffed. “Which worked both times! Sounds like a one hundred percent success rate to me, and besides, we’ll need to kick ass regardless. Even if Allura could cure the entire army at once, they are still under Lotor’s control, which means they’ll still attack us. Remember, if this works, and we land in the Abyss to fight, Allura will join but she’ll stay close to the Green Lion. With our armor, we shouldn’t come into contact with any blood, but anything could happen. So worst case scenario, find the Green Lion and Allura will be able to help you.”

“A team makes their way to Lotor and his main fighters, B team helps clear the way and hold off the clones,” Pidge confirmed, calling back to their plans from the meeting.

Keith still couldn’t believe it, but he had been sorted into the A team alongside some of the coalitions best fighters, as well as Shiro, and Lance. B team was made up of Allura, Pidge, Hunk, some lower-ranked fighters, and a few higher-ranked pilots of the coalition. Those extra pilots were prepared to navigate the Abyss and provide cover from their ships, but it’d be risky. Keith would know.

“Oh god, what if I mistake the real Shiro for a clone and accidentally shoot him?!” Hunk chimed in frantically.

Pidge sighed. “He’ll be in armor Hunk, and the clones will be attacking you.”

“Right, right,” Hunk laughed nervously, “and what if somebody from B team ends up closer to Lotor than anyone from A team?”

“I trust you all to make the best decision keeping your safety in mind,” Allura reassured, “but if it is for self-defense, or you truly think you have the best possible opportunity… you go for the kill.”

The silence from everyone was heavy after that. Clones were one thing, given they could be compared to the bots Voltron fought on a daily basis, but none of them were well versed in true killing. Not mentally at least. The situation was clear though; Lotor would stop at nothing to have his army, so they would have to stop at nothing to make sure he didn’t get it.

A soft whine came from beside Keith, and he locked his gaze with Kosmo where he was settled beside his pilot seat, as if the wolf could sense the tension in him. Keith gave him a soft scratch behind the ears. He hadn’t been entirely sure if Kosmo would want to return to the Abyss after being lost in there for so long, but he had been plenty helpful in navigating through the rubble during that time, so Keith figured he would need his help. If the wolf clearly wanted no part in the battle, Keith would gladly let him stay behind in Red.

After a few moments, Pidge broke through the quiet, “He must have noticed us by now but he’s not fighting. He’s trying to beat us to the Abyss so he can use the debris to escape. We have to engage before that can happen.”

“Plan B maneuvers everyone,” Allura spoke to everyone now, and their sizable group of ships spread out, intent on surrounding Lotor’s team and possibly separating him from his generals. He’d be a lot easier to fight on his own, but in case that wasn’t possible, their team was prepared with plenty of heavy hitters.

“Let’s end this,” Lance demanded.

Keith could feel Red’s reassuring pride wash over him, and then he was following Lance’s lead, Shiro and a line of coalition allies not far behind him.

----------

Plan B had only worked a little bit in Voltron’s favor. They’d managed to reach Lotor in time and initiated fire in a way that forced his group to land on varying rock debris to engage battle face-to-face. However, they had made it pretty far into the Abyss before that happened, and their attempts to break up Lotor and his generals weren’t successful. At least, not exactly.

The hurtling rock Keith stood on was sizeable enough to be an effective battleground, big enough for the entirety of A team, Lotor, two of his generals, multiple ships, and an intimidating number of bloodthirsty clones. Keith had never seen so many of Shiro before, even just two in one room had been jarring, and every one of them was fighting with a rage that could only be equal parts poisonous delirium and devoted mind control. The only Shiro that actually mattered wasn’t far off, his glowing arm producing arcs of light with every swing he took at Narti. Thanks to their comms still working now that they had all made it into the Abyss, Keith knew that Allura and Pidge were facing Zethrid, while Hunk was up against Ezor.

That left Acxa, who stood in front of Keith, gun raised and pointed right at him. It wasn’t their first interaction, but Keith had hoped the mutual saving of each other’s lives would mean she’d go a little easier on him. Especially considering his weapon was a sword and he could only dodge gunfire for so long with Kosmo’s help before they both ran out of energy.

It didn’t help that Keith’s mind was a little distracted. When they all first landed, Keith had gone straight for Acxa since she was a familiar face, and Shiro, having experience fighting Lotor, was headed in his direction before Lance cut him off in his path. “Lance,” Keith had started with concerned warning, but Shiro hadn’t fought Lance on it.

“If anybody has the conviction to kill him, it’s me,” Lance had explained, taking off with a surprising amount of speed and determination. Keith once thought it may have been the opposite, but if Lance was keeping his team and the fate of the universe in mind, of course he’d be able to do it. Lotor had wronged him in so many ways, and he had already reassured Keith in his ability to do what needed to be done. Keith had only been fearful for a moment when he had caught sight of Lotor’s sword but was reminded of Lance’s new abilities the moment his bayard transformed into an impressive broadsword. They would be on equal footing, as opposed to Lance being at a disadvantage with a gun meant for long range attack. Keith could breathe a little easier.

That didn’t stop his distraction, however, and a few of Acxa’s shots had managed to graze his armor.

“Are you going to keep watching your friend fight or are you going to start taking our fight seriously?” Acxa called, and her following shot wasn’t far off from getting Keith right in the middle of his helmet. He didn’t want to find out if it was capable of passing through.

He exhaled a shaky breath and moved squarely in front of Kosmo as the two of them teleported a few inches closer to her in a diagonal movement. He ducked just in time to avoid another shot. He was grateful that although it was clear Kosmo was his main advantage, she didn’t seem too interested in firing at the wolf. It gave Keith hope that the part of her that saved him all those years ago was still in there.

“Yeah, I’m concerned about him,” Keith admitted to her. “You would be too, if you knew what Lotor’s experiments had done to him.”

“I’m aware,” she admitted right back. Keith was astonished.

“And you know about the innocent people Lotor’s hurt? The ones that started this insane torture streak of his? You know and you still stand by him?”

There was a lull in her shooting, and Keith used that to get even closer, his sword within striking distance now, but her gun was aimed at his neck when he reappeared. The weakest point in his armor. They both hesitated.

In that moment of silence, a fevered clone closed in on the both of them. It had clearly strayed away from the A team fighters meant to hold them off the Paladins, but neither of them was expecting it’s approach. Keith held up his sword to block a hit that never came. Instead, the clone’s arm, soaked in blood and heated, purple energy, came down on Acxa. She fell hard. The clone was quick to raise its arm again, but Keith was quicker. With an upward swing of his bayard, its arm was disconnected from its body in seconds, the wound spouting blood like a faucet. Even with the protection of armor, Keith steered clear of the mess.

Either the blood loss was too much, or the clone was close to critical failure already, because it collapsed soon after, the light in its eyes dimmed to nothing. Keith had to turn and focus all his attention on Acxa before he spiraled at the sight of it.

She was on her knees, dazed but readying herself for Keith’s next move, and froze when he held out his free hand for her. “It attacked you instead of me,” he stated, the questioning clear in his voice.

“Yeah.” She stared at his hand for a moment before taking it. She didn’t put up a fight as he helped her up, but she kept her finger on the trigger of her gun the entire time and stepped away quickly when she was back on her feet. “Lotor didn’t get to that part of the experimenting yet, he’s the only one the clones don’t attack, since he activated them.”

“It’s mind control,” Keith pointed out with a little heat behind his words. “Surely, it’s not that hard to figure out. Unless he only gives a shit about himself, which you know I’m right about.”

Acxa knocks his hand back at that. “Whatever, you don’t get it. Lotor will never take his rightful place when half of the universe questions his abilities, and the other half thinks he’ll never be as great as his father was. This army will teach all of them. You just need to let him make it. They are clones; mindless and of Honerva’s making. There’s nobody here that needs Voltron’s saving.”

Keith scoffed. “You can’t believe this is about what Lotor is capable of as a leader. He’s clearly power-hungry, seeing nothing but his insane creation and the unstoppable strength it would give him against literally anybody who stands in his way. How can you trust he won’t let these clones get out of hand? Especially if he has a hard time even keeping them from attacking his own allies?”

Acxa’s determination turned to confusion, and she seemed to think about her next words before sharing them, “That’s why he needs time. Which Voltron won’t give him.”

“Is that why he’s heading to the planet at the center? So that time will pass regularly for him while Voltron and the coalition are stuck navigating the Abyss? When we finally manage to make it out, he’ll have already made his infected army and destroyed entire planets with it?”

Acxa’s expression goes grim. “No, he doesn’t want to risk you all finding your own out too quickly, and the chances of us successfully destroying every ship here is slim,” she explained, and her trigger finger twitched at her next words, “We have orders to kill you all no matter what, even if it means we stay behind while Lotor continues to the center. Even if it means we have to infect you to do it.”

Keith caught sight of the syringes tucked into her belt and felt the blood leave his face all at once. They hadn’t considered this during the meeting. Of course, their armor would keep any tainted blood from reaching their skin, but armor could be removed by force, and if all of the generals and clones were armed with these syringes, Voltron had to be a lot more careful while fighting.

“Why are you telling me this?” Keith asked, genuinely confused, and instinctively raised his weapon when Acxa shifted back into a fighting stance.

“Because,” she said, her voice considerably lower than before, “I may stand by Lotor’s idea of an army, but I could never bring myself to infect someone personally. Like I said, I’ve seen what it does to people.”

Keith laughed bitterly, his feet shifting to counter her movements. Kosmo stuck close behind but never tripped him up. “So, slaughter is fine so long as you aren’t the one doing it?”

“War isn’t always simple, you should know that by now, Paladin.”

“I know that nobody should have as much power as Lotor already has. We can’t let him get any further.”

“Lotor always gets his way,” Acxa spat, and Keith wondered if there were some unspoken words behind the admission. “Now, knock me down with the backside of your blade. I’ll stumble long enough for you to warn your friends about the syringes, but then we’ll keep fighting this battle valiantly.”

“Now slaughter is okay if it’s done valiantly?” Keith taunted. He wasn’t sure he could keep up with her reasonings anymore. War always seemed simple in his own mind. It’s awful, and it shouldn’t happen, but it does, and as somebody who has pledged to fight for Voltron, Keith won’t kill living beings unless absolutely necessary. Which meant very rarely.

“Self-defense is different. Besides, it wouldn’t be a fair fight if I poisoned you.”

“What you’re saying doesn’t match your so-called ideals, Acxa, and frankly, I’m tired of wasting energy in a fight with you that I don’t want to win. Honestly, I don’t think you want to win either,” Keith said, “so I’m going to save us both the trouble. Kosmo.” He turned to the wolf and pointed at the general in front of them. “Get her out of here safely, please.”

“What?” Acxa demanded more than asked, seemingly offended that Keith would just give up on their battle.

Kosmo obeyed then, and Keith was comfortable letting him run to Acxa’s side and teleport away with her. It’d be different if she’d aimed at the wolf at all during the fight. Keith probably would have had to knock her out instead. But she hadn’t even tried to hurt Kosmo, so this plan saved Keith a lot of time and didn’t hurt anybody in the process.

Kosmo reappeared a few ticks later, presumably after dropping Acxa off on a rock far enough away that the fight would be over by the time she made her way back or somebody went to find her.

With the few moments of rest Keith had, he activated the communicator in his helmet. “Be careful everyone, the generals and I’m guessing a lot of the clones are armed with the poison in syringe form. Do not let them corner you or get your armor off.”

“Oh god,” Hunk cried in response.

“Looks like we may end up needing Allura’s help after all,” Shiro called back.

There was a sound of struggle that Keith could clearly make out as Lance’s, and he turned in his direction. He wasn’t too far away, but far enough that Keith could only see the outlines of their movements. They were deep into their hand-to-hand combat, and from what Keith could tell, they were countering each other’s every offensive strike. It wasn’t going to be quick, or easy for Lance. “Are you okay, Keith?” Lance managed to ask in between blows, and Keith could strangle him.

“Focus, Lance! I’m fine, Acxa told me about it, I wasn’t hurt. Kosmo teleported her to a different part of the Abyss, I’m coming to help you now,” Keith explained, and started to move, but another voice on the comm stopped him in his tracks.

“Keith…to your right,” Shiro said with clear struggle, and Keith turned his gaze. Shiro was considerably closer than Lance, and he was on his back, struggling to remove the foot pressing down on his throat. The clone wasn’t letting up and was clearly unphased by its skin being burned through by Shiro’s prosthetic. It was going to choke him to death, if Narti didn’t inject him with poison first, which was clearly her plan as she reached for Shiro’s helmet.

The silence after Shiro’s words had Keith realizing that Shiro had only spoken to him, to not distract the other Paladins. Lance surely would have taken a hit. He needed to have his sole focus on Lotor right now. Keith would get to him after helping Shiro.

“Kosmo!” Keith jumped into action, and the two of them were at Shiro’s side immediately.

Keith cringed as he stabbed through the clone’s chest, sending his Shiro-look-alike kill counter total to three. He didn’t have time to consider how many nightmares he’d be having because of it. Instead, he turned his sword on Narti, who had backed away a few steps once Shiro was free to struggle to his feet and recover. The syringe was still in her hand, and Keith didn’t miss the way her arm twitched in Kosmo’s direction, who was circling Kova, her seeing cat.

“Don’t even think about it,” Keith started. Kosmo could try to teleport the cat away, but Narti was too close, and too quick. Keith would be too far away to stop her.

“She’ll do it,” Shiro warned. “She’s always been just as ruthless as Lotor.”

Narti shrugged, like the accusation didn’t offend her. Then, she lunged at Kosmo with her arm raised over her head.

“Stop!” Keith shouted, and it sounded hysterical even to his own ears. He didn’t even want to imagine what an animal effected by Lotor’s poison would look like, and he never wanted to find out.

Luckily, he’d never have to. Narti was quick, but Shiro was quicker. He was also closer than Keith was, so it only took him a few steps before he was within striking distance, and brought his activated prosthetic down across Narti’s back before she could strike.

Keith froze in place as she fell to her knees, the syringe hitting the ground beside her and somehow staying intact. She was still alive though, and Keith had to look away when Shiro slashed at her a second time, hearing but not seeing her blood splatter from the force of it.

“Fuck!” Shiro shouted, startling Keith with both his emotion and choice of language. His brother looked sick; his eyes faraway like he was somewhere else entirely. Keith couldn’t blame him. If he were any closer to Narti, he would’ve done the same thing to keep Kosmo safe.

He stepped forward, putting a reassuring arm on Shiro’s shoulder, because saying thank you didn’t feel like the right thing to do.

They watched as Kova, Narti’s cat and companion, rubbed his face once across hers, then faded into a purple cloud of smoke, as if his life had been linked solely to Narti’s magic.

“Let’s go help Lance,” Keith said, trying to bring Shiro back from wherever he’d gone.

“Right,” Shiro said, the steadiness returning in his words.

Keith waited until Kosmo was a few feet away and following behind Shiro before he stomped down on the syringe, letting the poison seep into the dirt, rendering it useless to anybody else who may come across it. Then he was running after the two of them, intent on helping Lance finish this.

It wasn’t until they had nearly caught up to Lance that Keith felt a familiar wave of warmth and power wash over him. A flashback, with awful timing at that. His vision brightened and he stumbled, suddenly blinded for a few moments before color returned, but the sight wasn’t familiar to him.

“You think I wanted him to get hurt? It was an accident, a misstep, and it will not happen again, but I cannot ignore the fact that I have made great progress because of these test subjects.”

It was Lotor’s voice speaking, but the voice that came out of his mouth next wasn’t his own. It was Acxa’s.

“How many people will die in the process, though?” She asked. “Even if you manage to figure this out, how many people would even volunteer to become a super soldier for your cause? I doubt many people will step up to poison themselves. Are you going to say you had no choice but to force it on them?”

“No,” Lotor assured, but he didn’t sound confident in his answer. He paced around whatever room they were in, made up of black metal and low lights. Keith could just make out the other generals in his peripherals. “I will find another way. Another way to test it.”

“How? Bots won’t work, what else could you test on?”

Lotor’s eyes widened, his posture rigid all of a sudden. “The clones. Of course,” he laughed. “Honerva’s clones have the mind of a bot but the body of a human. That is perfect.”

“And exploded into a million pieces,” Acxa reminded him.

“There must be something left,” he insisted. “We can rebuild and continue what she started, and test on them as we go.”

Everyone went quiet, considering his proposal, before Acxa nodded. “Okay, we could do this, but with how you left things with Voltron, are they going to come after us? After what you did to their Blue Paladin?”

“I didn’t–!” Lotor cut himself off, then tried again, “I did not mean for Lance to get hurt, and if I could go back in time to make sure none of it ever happened to him, I would do it in a heartbeat.”

The room goes quiet again at his words; the sincerity and admission behind them. Lotor doesn’t let it linger for long.

“Let Voltron look for us if they wish, but they will not find anything. We will go into hiding, cover our tracks for as long as possible. They are still grieving the loss of their Red Paladin anyway; it will be a while before they work cohesively as a team again. When that happens, then we should worry.”

Keith is suddenly pushed back into his own mind and he quickly righted himself before he could faceplant. Shiro lurched beside him as well, Kosmo yipping at their heels. “Did you see Lotor and his generals too?” Shiro asked him.

Keith nodded. “My mom and I would always see the same visions. I imagine everybody in the Abyss just saw that. Including…”

They both turned to see Lotor and Lance frozen in place. They were still too far out for Keith’s liking, but he could at least see the heavy rise and fall of Lance’s chest, and the waver in Lotor’s raised sword. Lance seemed to say something that neither Shiro or Keith would be able to hear from their distance, and then Lotor shoved him to the ground in one quick movement.

“Kosmo!” Keith called, but Shiro gripped his wrist to stop them from teleporting.

“Wait,” Shiro said, and gestured to Lotor. He had already pulled out his own syringe and was digging his knee into Lance’s chest to keep him down while he pushed at his helmet. “If you go now, Lotor could infect both of you. I can’t let that happen,” he said, then switched to speaking over his comms. “Allura, we’re going to need you to come to us after all. Lance is in danger.”

Allura was quick to respond, “But what about the B team? We are still taking hits over here.”

“It’s okay Allura,” Hunk assured, “Half of these clones are fighting each other at this point anyway, go help Lance.”

Pidge spoke next, “Allura and I are in Green and will be there in a few ticks!”

“Shiro, I have to help him,” Keith said quietly, not wanting to just stand and watch what was happening but not being able to tear his eyes away either. Lotor had managed to shove Lance’s helmet off, so they couldn’t even reassure him that Allura was coming if they wanted to. They were locked in an icy conversation that Keith could hear none of, and all he wanted to do was rip Lotor’s head off.

Shiro physically held him to his side, but it wasn’t enough to keep Keith standing. They both landed on their knees in the dirt as Lotor waved the poison around, increasingly and dangerously closer to Lance’s exposed neck with every word. “Shiro please,” Keith tried again.

They both watched in silent horror as Lotor seemed determined to repeat history, all while Lance seemed to lose whatever fight was left in him. He stopped struggling to push Lotor off, and his legs went still.

There was a tangible hesitation between the both of them, and Keith’s every fear manifested in his own mind. What if Allura didn’t get to them in time? What if she couldn’t fix him? What if her magic is a one-use type of deal and Lance had already used his one miracle? What if Keith lost every chance to tell Lance that he loves him?

Then, in one swift movement, Lotor pulled his own helmet off and pressed the syringe into his own neck.

Shiro’s grip on Keith went loose, and Keith staggered in his confusion. Lance almost went to grab the thing out of Lotor’s hand but caught himself. It would be too late anyway. Instead, Lance dragged himself back a few steps as soon as Lotor’s weight shifted.

It didn’t take long for the effects to kick in, probably the difference between skin-contact with contaminated blood and directly putting it into your veins. Keith wouldn’t give it a second longer to manifest.

“Shiro, now we have to go,” Keith demanded.

Shiro stood quickly but still seemed a little lost. “Why would he do that to himself?”

“I don’t know, and we don’t have time to guess, let’s go!”

Kosmo beat them to the punch, first teleporting Keith within Lance’s reach, and Keith immediately helped Lance put his helmet back on. Kosmo brought Shiro next, and the three Paladins stood at the ready; bayards transformed and humming with energy.

Keith shooed Kosmo to safety as Lotor’s body started convulsing. He tripped over his own feet a few times, and the injection spot on his neck was turning a blinding shade of blue. He started to mumble words none of them could hear or make sense of, and Keith was reminded of the hallucinations he experienced when he had been infected. He wondered what Lotor was seeing in his delirium.

“Do you think we could win three Paladins to one magic-half breed-warrior jacked up on poison-steroids?” Lance joked. Keith let out a breath of a laugh and kicked him lightly with the side of his foot.

“You’re an idiot,” Keith answered.

“Sure, but that doesn’t answer my question.”

“I love you.”

Lance’s head whipped in Keith’s direction, meeting his gaze head-on. If Shiro had heard what he’d said, he didn’t make a noise from his place at Keith’s other side.

“You’re telling me that right now?! While my psychotic ex-boyfriend is losing his shit right in front of us?!” Lance asked incredulously, his broadsword flying around in front of him for emphasis.

“I’m telling you right now in case your psychotic ex-boyfriend kills us all and I miss my only opportunity,” Keith corrected.

Lance’s shoulders dropped, and his shock turned to genuine amazement. “You’re crazy, y’know? But your own special brand of crazy that I respect. It’s a good thing I love you too,” he confessed, “or else I’d force you to pretend this didn’t happen so you could tell me at a more convenient time. The next time you say it better be on a fancy date though, with candlelit dinner, oh and flowers.”

“Hey, I hate to break up this special moment,” Shiro cut in, “but Lotor looks ready to snap now, and we need to focus.”

Shiro was right. Lotor was zeroed in on all of them, Galra fangs bared and eyes glowing an impossibly fluorescent hue. Lance hadn’t been wrong to question their odds. Lotor was way more skilled of a fighter compared to a knock-off clone that was two or three years behind on Shiro’s current combat experience.

Keith could only raise his own sword and hope for the best before the Green Lion hit the ground in front of them, blocking off Lotor’s war path and their ability to see him as the dirt was kicked up around them.

Keith coughed and cleared the air in front of him. He could just make out Pidge and Allura emerging from Green, and he couldn’t help but thank the universe for their impeccable timing.

“Where’s Lance?!” Allura called out, momentarily blinded by the dust cloud as well. Pidge found him first and ran to his side.

“I’m okay guys,” Lance promised, meeting Pidge’s worried pat down with a pat of his own to the top of their head. “Lotor however…” he trailed off, letting them connect the dots.

It didn’t take long for the dust to settle and for Lotor to make his way into their line of sight again. He ripped at his own hair and swung sharp claws in Shiro’s direction, but he wasn’t close enough to do any damage.

“It’s actually really satisfying to see him like this,” Pidge said bluntly, then fell back into Lance as Lotor advanced at the sound of their voice. “Holy shit, chill!”

Shiro was all business, already in a defensive stance and putting himself between Lotor and the rest of them. “Take this seriously, everyone. The second his confusion clears; he’ll be the deadliest one here. We don’t have time for jokes. We should get this over with while he’s still hallucinating.”

“Wait,” Allura cut in quickly, surprising all of them with her reluctance to Shiro’s words. “Let me try and undo this,” she said, looking over Lotor’s changed form as if she were trying to figure out how to go about it. “If we’re going to kill him, he deserves to be in his right mind while it happens.”

“Wouldn’t it be quick and painless if we did it while he’s still like this,” Pidge asked.

“Dios, this is demented,” Lance shuddered visibly beside Keith, and they instinctively locked hands to reassure the other.

“Let her try it. It’s a good opportunity to see if she can,” Keith suggested, but even he could hear that he wasn’t entirely sure with his own words. His mind kept going back to the same thought. If it worked, and Lotor returned to normal, could he talk his way out of this? Could he convince Voltron not to kill him? They were already so hesitant to in the first place. What if it became their failed alliance all over again? Who else could Lotor hurt in the duration of time they decide to spare him? Were they even doing the right thing by deciding whether or not to end his life?

Keith’s thoughts were cut off abruptly by the sudden glow of Allura’s magic, which manifested from the tips of her fingers and activated the arrow shaped Altean marks on her cheeks. Keith could feel Lance’s grip on his hand tighten as Allura aimed her magic.

Lotor froze in his erratic movements, as if Allura had grabbed ahold of his very thoughts and stilled them.

“Is it working?” Pidge asked, moving to grab Keith’s free arm out of anticipation and possibly a little fear. “It looks like it’s working.”

It looked like it was taking Allura a tremendous amount of effort, but finally, a light blue aura of energy that could only be the copious amounts of quintessence Lotor had injected himself with slowly seeped from a concentrated point at his chest. Allura had been right; she could truly interact with quintessence linked to a person’s body and was using that ability to save Lotor from his own weapon.

“L-Lance,” Lotor managed to get out, and Keith had to stomp out his anger at his audacity. The man was clearly still confused, and in a lot of pain. His features twisted into pure agony as Allura continued to release the condensed quintessence, and all he could manage to do was fall to his knees and hold a shaky hand out to the Paladin beside Keith.

“Go on,” Keith encouraged, not enjoying the sight of someone suffering in pain alone any more than Lance probably was.

Lance made it to Lotor’s side as soon as Allura stopped her magic. She looked faint, and Shiro was quick to hold her up so she wouldn’t collapse. “It’s done. His body should be back to its regular levels of quintessence now,” she explained, clearly grateful for Shiro’s support as she rested her head on his shoulder.

Lotor had fallen onto his side, his head rested in Lance’s lap, and Keith didn’t even have time to feel jealousy before everyone started to notice Lotor’s worsening state.

“What’s happening to him?” Shiro asked first, but nobody could answer before Lotor started coughing up blood, his veins a deep purple in contrast against his lilac skin, which was unusually pale.

“What’s wrong?” Lance asked, his hands gripping Lotor’s shoulders so he could tip him on his side, but Lotor gripped his hand tight to stop him. If Keith had to guess, this was a reaction to having so much quintessence enter and then exit his body in such a short period of time, but it didn’t seem like Lotor was interested in accepting Lance’s help through it.

“I am–“ Lotor tried, his eyes locked with Lance’s as he struggled through choking gasps, and suddenly his symptoms didn’t seem like just a side effect. Lotor was dying. “I’m…” he tried again, and Lance pulled him closer in a near-hug, surely realizing what Keith had by now.

“It’s fine,” Lance whispered, probably to help him conserve his energy, but it was a fruitless effort.

“No,” Lotor insisted, and coughed through his words. “I am sorry. Not for– for what I created, but for putting– you– in danger because of it.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it man, it’s in the past now,” Lance tried, his voice thick with emotion, “Bygones, and all that…” he trailed off, but Lotor didn’t hear any of it.

He was still, and quiet, and Keith had always thought he’d feel relief when this moment came but all he felt was Lance’s pain as he hunched over Lotor’s lifeless body and cried.

Chapter Text

Something about getting to spend time with his mother and friends without the threat of enemies looming over him had healed a huge part of Keith in a matter of weeks. Of course, there were still the lingering nightmares, but that was something all the Paladins dealt with. It felt more manageable than if he had to go through it alone. Repairing what Lotor had broken wasn’t an easy task either, but they were all making great progress; physically and mentally.

The Blade of Marmora had become a huge help as well, not only with tracking down remnants of moonflower or dangerously condensed quintessence that Lotor had left behind, but with managing the next steps for the Galran Empire and reconstructing its laws. After the dust had settled, they also recruited a few more members. Albeit two of them were a little reluctant at first, but Acxa was inspiring with her change of heart. She had informed Keith that it helped the remaining generals to have a new purpose and goal amidst their loss.

A lot of the following missions for Voltron included humanitarian work, rebuilding civilizations, assisting wayward ex-Lotor followers, and cleaning up any remaining clones that had deactivated upon Lotor’s death. They still encountered the occasional infected alien life, all of whom were carefully quarantined until they passed. If Allura’s powers could save them, she would be quick to use them, but as Pidge had determined after the fight was over- the saturated quintessence had always served the purpose of keeping a host alive while the effects of the poison took place. If they had considered it for longer, they probably would have realized that the moonflower wouldn’t leave the victims system along with the quintessence, but time wasn’t something Voltron had in that moment. If they did, maybe they could have found another way to help Lotor, but Keith didn’t like to think about it too much. They had succeeded in their mission, and that’s what mattered at the end of the day.

Lance didn’t seem too shaken up after the fact, but if he ever wanted to talk about it, Keith would obviously be there to listen to him. The only time he had acknowledged his feelings out loud was when they returned to the Castle-ship and Pidge had asked why Lotor used the poison on himself. Lance just shrugged and said, “I think after seeing the flashback, he was reminded of the little bit of humanity he had. He didn’t really want to infect me, but he saw all of you coming, so he probably used it on himself as a last-ditch effort to win. He just wasn’t expecting Allura’s ability to stop him.”

“Thank god he used it on himself instead of you, knowing now that Allura couldn’t have helped,” Hunk said, but it lacked the optimism he was probably going for. Everyone went a little silent at the idea of Lance being in Lotor’s place, and the subject was dropped ever since.

But Keith was grateful, getting to wake up next to Lance every day and seeing his steady improvement. Of course, it had always been there since Keith had returned, but with less dangers to face it was easier to witness. In fact, all of team Voltron was able to heal and grow now that the two-year mission they’d suffered through was over.

Allura and Coran have been able to start their efforts of finding and restoring what’s remained of the Altean race. Pidge was spending more time with their family and helping Allura and Coran where they could. Shiro finally had time to do small, tedious tasks within the coalition, taking a well-earned early retirement from being a Paladin and fighter. Hunk and Lance have discussed plans to visit Earth between restoration efforts, and Keith was involved more than a few times in their arranging. Lance may have mentioned introducing Keith to his family as his official boyfriend, and Keith may have agreed.

Now, Keith was gathered in the hangar with the rest of the team, their lions, and his mother. Everyone was distracted making the well needed repairs to their respective lions, which they haven’t had to use in a while thanks to most of their current jobs being out on the ground. Keith, however, was stood beside Red with Krolia, doing their long-awaited introductions.

“Red, Mom. Mom, Red,” Keith joked.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Red,” Krolia said, patting her on one giant, metal paw. “Thank you for taking care of my son. I hope he hasn’t given you too much trouble.”

Red’s warm presence washed over Keith. She was clearly happy, in her own robotic way, to hear the words.

Only the normal amount of trouble, but that’s not entirely his fault.

Keith laughed, and Krolia gave him a curious look. “She’s making fun of me,” he explained.

“Well, whatever she’s saying, it’s making you smile. I’m happy to see it,” Krolia said fondly.

Keith could feel the heat in his face from the words, and then Red decided to make it even worse.

I agree, it is a relief to see your happiness, Paladin. The bond between you and your mother has inspired great improvements in you, as well as the reuniting of you and the Blue Paladin. Do you remember the request I asked of you?

“Of course,” Keith answered, recalling when Red had tasked him with not giving up on the team, and making sure that he tries just a little bit harder to help restore their bond.

You succeeded. They have all been taking better care of themselves again. The Black Paladin has stopped secluding himself from the group. The Yellow and Green Paladins have felt more secure and motivated after a long period of stagnant progress. The Alteans have recovered from the impacts that war can cause on a living being. Voltron sharing their experiences to help you catch up on lost time has also brought them all closer together in ways they have not been in a long while. They are healthy and whole, and it is all thanks to you, my Paladin.

It all sounded a little exaggerated in Keith’s opinion, but he couldn’t help but thank her anyway for the encouragement and regards. For the longest time, it had felt to Keith like he was only causing them new problems, but the more he thought about it, the more he noticed the differences in everyone. After everything they had been through while he was gone, he couldn’t blame them for the rocky start. He just wished he could’ve been there with them through it all.

“It’s thanks to everyone, truly,” Keith said eventually. “They couldn’t have healed without the strength and dedication they put into doing so. I’m just happy to be back, and to have my mom here with me,” he added, meeting Krolia’s supportive smile with one of his own.

Of course, but your own progress inspired all of them. Each of you has their own special place and ability within the team, but you, as well as the Blue Paladin, have been an immense catalyst for the guidance of Voltron. I am very proud of you all.

“Thank you, Red. For everything.”

“Keith, are you busy?” Shiro had approached the two of them and the Red Lion with a look of urgency. Keith would have panicked if not for the friendly smile Shiro gave Krolia. “Sorry, it’ll only be a moment.”

“No rush,” Krolia assured him, and Keith gave her hand a quick squeeze before following Shiro to a quiet corner. Lance had somehow gotten ahold of an ancient mp3 player, and Pidge had built a speaker from spare parts that he could hook it up to, so there was fast-paced, Spanish music blasting throughout the hangar while everyone worked. Whatever Shiro wanted to talk about, he clearly wanted Keith to know first.

“How is your mother doing?” Shiro asked first. It was obviously unrelated to what he really planned to talk about, but Keith was happy for the small talk. He could breathe a little easier knowing this conversation wasn’t anything drastic.

“She’s great. She’s been taking more and more breaks between Blade missions to come visit me. She’s also talked about tagging along with us at some point to visit Earth again.”

“That’s great news, Keith. I’m glad you have more connections in your life now, a family member to support you.”

Keith turned to look back at Krolia. She was talking to Allura, who was talking animatedly while gesturing to the Red Lion. He could see his own familiar stiffness in her stance, but she was clearly engaged and enjoying the conversation. He was also very glad to have found her, especially because he found so much joy in their similarities. He may have returned to his human form, but he was still able to recognize his own features in hers. It felt good to have that connection with another person, but Shiro was still his true family, and Keith would never forget that.

“You’re all my family. Back then I wouldn’t have admitted it, but all of you were my family the second we all crammed into the Blue Lion together,” Keith admitted. “I love you guys.”

“Some of us more than others,” Shiro mock whispered. Keith punched his shoulder out of shock.

Keith simmered in his embarrassment. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

Shiro half-heartedly punched Keith back. “Hey, you’re the one who said it to him while I was standing right next to you. I’ve earned my joking rights.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. What did you really drag me over here to talk about?”

Shiro sobered. “Right. I’m sure everyone has already thought about this, but the Universe isn’t going to be safe like this forever. There’s always going to be somebody causing problems and Voltron will be ready to stop them. Whether that’s us or a new generation of Paladins that we need to train, the team will need someone to pilot the Black Lion. Since I’m stepping down, I think that role should pass down to you, if you’ll take it.”

Keith didn’t even give Shiro’s possible reasoning a single thought before answering.

“No.”

Shiro was understandably shocked by the response. “Keith, you can’t expect me to keep piloting after everything–.”

“I don’t,” Keith interrupted. He would never ask Shiro not to retire. Not after what he’s gone through. “I’m saying no because Lance should be the Black Lion, and I think you know that already. Just because I would’ve been your choice before I went missing for two years, doesn’t mean I should be your choice now. We both know Lance is the only correct answer in this equation.”

Shiro nodded, and his previous smile found its way back to his face. He didn’t seem offended by Keith’s answer in the slightest. “If I had asked you two years ago, you would have said no because you didn’t feel confident in your abilities, but you’re saying it now because you’re so confident in somebody else’s.”

“Despite all his big talk, Lance would probably give you the same answer, then and now. Which is why you should probably tell him you want him to be the Black Paladin instead of asking. Lance has always been a leader, for all of us. He knows when to make the right call, and even when his own morale was low, he was still doing everything with the team in mind. He is strong and the most capable out of all of us,” Keith explained, and Shiro seemed to agree with the statement.

“With how isolated Lance was when you left, I never would have guessed your return would bring you two closer together most of all. I think you understand him more than Hunk does at this point.”

“I don’t know why, but he’s always tried to understand me, even before we admitted to being friends, and even when his trauma was making it hard for him to. Eventually, I realized that somewhere along the way I had started reaching out too,” Keith confessed.

Shiro looked happy, and satisfied, but most of all proud. “You two are going to do great things for Voltron’s future.”

----------

After Keith had seen his mother off and played catch with Kosmo for approximately two vargas straight before the wolf finally ran out of energy, he had retired to his room and showered. He was nearly to his bed when there was a knock at the door.

He already knew it was Lance before he opened it. “You know you don’t have to knock anymore, right?”

Lance seemed flustered, like he’d run across the entire ship to get to Keith’s room. “I know, but uh… I had something serious to talk to you about, so it felt right to knock.”

Keith froze, because he wasn’t sure if serious meant a bad or a good thing.

“Okay…what–.”

Lance kissed him. He had rushed forward and grabbed Keith by the shoulders, the force behind his kiss pushing them back a few steps. The door slid shut behind them, and Keith was quick to meet Lance’s enthusiasm, letting his tongue taste his own and biting down on soft lips whenever Lance pulled back too far. Good, definitely a good thing then, Keith thought.

When Lance’s hands traveled up his neck and into his hair to tug at his ponytail, Keith finally tore himself away for air. “Wait– was the ‘something serious’ just an excuse to make out? You could have just asked.”

Lance looked sinful when Keith first pulled away, but he suddenly seemed to remember why he’d come to find him in the first place. “Right, no. Well– kind of,” he rambled, and Keith grabbed hold of his waist to settle him.

“What is it?”

“Shiro talked to me. About the whole Black Paladin thing. He tried to pretend you had nothing to do with it, but I know him. I know he would’ve asked you first,” Lance explained, and he didn’t seem offended over it in the slightest. “When I finally got him to admit that you turned him in my direction, he said that you admitted I was the best option, so I came to kiss you about it.”

Keith laughed. He figured that the conversation would come up eventually, but he hadn’t guessed Lance would react in this way. Keith had only been honest about Lance’s abilities, and obviously the entire team would agree with him if asked, so Lance’s excitement came as a surprise.

“I’m guessing you tried to deny him at first?” Keith mused.

“Duh, of course I did,” Lance stated. Suddenly, he was spinning Keith in a circle and dipping him backwards to plant a kiss on his lips the way couples did in movies. Except Keith wasn’t expecting it so he grabbed Lance’s shirt in his fists and tripped over his own feet in the least elegant way possible. Lance held on tight and didn’t let Keith fall, though. “But I agreed eventually. How could I say no when my supportive boyfriend believes in me?”

Lance steadied him upright again and Keith couldn’t help but throw his arms over Lance’s shoulders in a hug. He couldn’t be happier to hear that Lance had agreed. “We all believe in you Lance,” he said, but when he pulled back, Lance was staring at the far wall, lost in thought. “What are you thinking about?”

Lance focused in on him again, his expression bittersweet. “I remembered the last conversation we had before you went missing. I came to you because I felt like I was the weakest link. That I wasn’t good enough to be the Blue Paladin.”

“Look at you now,” Keith said proudly, giving Lance a not-so-subtle onceover. “Loverboy Lance. Cargo turned fighter pilot. The best sharpshooter the universe has seen. The soon to be Black Paladin and new leader of Voltron. Now that I think about it, black would be a great color on you,” Keith said, although, he believes any color is a great color if Lance is wearing it.

“Eugh, no. Only you can pull it off. It’s fine though,” Lance sighed dramatically, “that’s just a sacrifice I’ll have to make for the sake of the universe.”

“However will you manage?” Keith played along, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Standing in front of Keith, Lance seemed happy and content, but he also had a determined look in his eyes, like he was already imagining what it would be like to lead the team. “You really think I can do it? That I’m capable of what it takes?”

Keith’s nod was immediate. “Don’t even get me started,” he teased.

Lance wound his fingers through Keith’s and relented. “Alright, alright, but if I’m going to be the new Shiro, there’s one condition that needs to be met first.”

“The new leader,” Keith corrected, “but what’s the condition?”

“I’m going to need a super-hot right-hand man to pilot the Red Lion,” Lance explained, his tone serious. “One that will have my back, help me make decisions, keep me on my toes. Preferably someone with a mullet.”

Keith paused for dramatic effect, pretending to consider Lance’s words. “Well, if you’re really doubting your abilities this much, then I guess I’ll help you out. Teach you everything I know. Push you until you’re confident with yourself as the Black Paladin,” he listed off, “but in return, you have to promise to never give up on us. On the team.”

Lanced smiled at him, shooting his infamous finger guns. “Of course, I promise. It’ll be part of our rivals-to-lovers origin story. And I’ll work really hard, just you wait.”

Keith smiled warmly back, and it hit him at once just how much he cared for Lance. How much he loved him with every fiber of his being.

“I’m looking forward to it.”