Chapter Text
In every direction stand distantly familiar faces. Memories of that past Evan would rather not remember. A dagger wedges itself into his gut as he watches his former classmates appear happier, healthier, older.
Some are weathered by parenthood. Some have completely let themselves go. Others have been blessed by having actual lives, and, Evan, well…
Evan’s exactly the same.
Maybe he should have dyed his hair. Or changed his style. Gotten new tattoos. It’s been five years and he still covers up his body in black hoodies and jeans, tries his best not to stand out.
Everyone else seems so much more confident – so adult.
What the fuck has Evan been doing all this time?
It’s making him nervous to see the guys.
What if fuckwad Stuart is happily married with a wife and kids and all Evan has is a fucking overgrown mullet that he tried to cut by himself before he came?
It’s not like Evan has money. He pours it all into his rent, student loans, and his sister. Gets by on dollar store ramen and cans of slimy beans. He didn’t even have money to buy a new outfit for tonight, and he’s pretty sure this is the same jacket he wore all of junior year.
Fuck.
This is what he gets for staying away from social media. All his teen years, he rejected offers to make an account, denied Dally every time he said ‘I wanna see what kind of pictures you take’, and definitely denied Stuart when he taunted Evan, told Evan he’d never get girls if he seemed like a ‘school shooter freakazoid’.
Periodically, over the last few years, he’d thought about caving. He missed Dally’s face, missed hearing Dally’s thoughts, wanted a way to reach out after Dally blocked his number.
Dally’s the only reason Evan bothered coming tonight, anyway.
It’s starting to feel like he won’t show, though. After all, by now Dally’s probably married, having long forgotten about Evan, found someone else to call his best friend–
“Evan?! Is that really you, brother?” a voice calls.
Evan hesitantly turns, relaxing when he sees, “Patrick.”
Patrick snorts, a step closer, “Dude, no one calls me that anymore. It’s Scott.”
“Scott.” Evan corrects.
…Honestly, he had forgotten that was Pat’s real name.
“You’re still quiet as a mouse.” Patri– Scott observes, “I thought kids grow out of that shit.”
By shit, does he mean SM?
Evan just shrugs.
He didn’t exactly have an opportunity to after highschool.
Besides, it doesn’t affect his career as much as he thought it would. He’s worked hard to communicate the basics. That’s all most people need from him, anyway.
...Even if they do think he's rude as fuck.
“Well… It’s kinda loud in here so I’ll skip the pantomime small talk, no offense. Have you seen Dally?”
Evan shakes his head.
“If you see him, let him know I said hey. Unless things are still awkward between you two.”
Evan shrugs.
Scott chuckles, “Well, for your sake, I hope not. See ya.”
Evan watches as he disappears into the crowd, mild relief.
Just as soon as Scott leaves, Mario inks into Evan’s vision.
This reunion worries him…
“Evan…!” Mario greets, waltzing up far too casually, “Wow, you still wear that hoodie? You’re 23, baby.”
Fuck. He noticed the hoodie.
Evan looks down at it, embarrassed that he even put it on.
“And you still don’t talk to me? Come on, I’m not that scary.”
“I do.” Evan whispers.
Mario just rolls his eyes, “Got a bitch yet? Kids? You don’t post anything so I can’t even stalk you.”
Evan clicks his teeth, averting his gaze.
“Why? The females don’t like you ‘cause you’re so short?” He looks Evan up and down. “Don’t let that stop you, king. You know what they say – The shorter you are, the bigger your dick.”
Evan’s face contorts. He doesn’t think that’s necessarily true in his case….
“Honestly,” Mario continues, “I thought you’d end up behind bars after you started dealing. But it’s a good thing you didn’t. You’re perfect jailbait, dude.” He laughs like what he’s said is funny. “Haha. Get it? ‘Cause the guys in prison would be all over you.”
Evan looks away from him, searching out the nearest exit.
“Lighten up, homie. I’m just fuckin’ with you. Anyway, I got me a bitch now. She’s not wifey material but I keep her around ‘cause she had two of my kids.” Ouch. “Baby mamas, you know?”
Evan does not know.
“A boy and a girl. Wanna guess their names?”
Not really.
Evan shrugs.
“Dora and Diego.”
Evan raises a brow.
Mario really laughs now. “Nah, I’m fuckin’ with you again. You’re so gullible. I missed you, dude.”
Evan can’t say the same. The truth is there’s only one person he’s missed.
“You coming to the after party?”
Evan shakes his head.
“Well, if you change your mind, I’ll be there. We need to catch up over a bottle.”
…
Evan doesn’t even bother gracing his offer with a response.
Thankfully, Mario walks away in the same direction Scott had.
He’s 0 for 2 right now and heavily considering if a chance of seeing Dally is worth seeing the others.
He’s definitely outgrown them.
…Or maybe they’ve outgrown him.
Either way. He’s starting to feel uncomfortable.
Just as he considers going outside and getting some air, a new voice greets him.
“Ev.”
Evan’s entire body bristles with heat, heart suddenly beating so fast that he sucks in a sharp breath, whirling around to see him – Dally – towering above him.
“I knew it was you.” Dally grins, this dopey, breathless look like he rushed across the venue just for Evan. He doesn’t seem mad at all. Instead, he appears happy. Excited.
…Dally’s smile reflects itself on Evan’s face.
“Erendall.” Evan teases, his grin growing as Dally gently shoves him.
“I missed that smile.” Dally says.
It’s like magic. Suddenly Evan’s smiling more than he has in years, hugging his arms around himself and glancing away, “Shut up.”
He missed Dally’s too.
Dally, at a glance, is even taller than Evan remembered. He’s got a new haircut, broader shoulders, far less lanky than he was when they were teens. He’s finally grown into his Dumbo ears, a bit of chest hair peeking through his skin tight shirt. He doesn’t look all that much older, thankfully, but there’s something about him that screams man.
Evan isn’t sure he has that yet.
Someone bumps into Evan from behind, Evan forced closer to Dally.
Dally’s stare burns into the top of his head, reaching for his hood.
Unexpectedly, Evan makes no motion to stop him.
Dally lets out a whistle.
“Wow, a shaggy mullet? Doesn’t really seem like you.”
Evan shrugs, blushing, “M-my hair got really long in the back and I kinda liked it… so I just started cutting the front and stuff.”
“You should let me cut it for you. I cut my own hair now, too.”
Evan glances up, “You basically buzzed it.”
“Yeah. Turns out mohawks aren’t too popular in the corporate world.”
Corporate world?
“I kinda liked when you looked like a dog,” Evan grins.
“A dog?” Dally huffs.
“Yeah. It was cute.”
Dally rolls his eyes, zero hesitation as he ruffles Evan’s hair.
It’s the first time Dally’s touched Evan tonight, and Evan can’t help but beam with relief that Dally’s still willing to do that… even after all this time.
He has to stop himself from leaning into Dally’s hand, chasing after his warmth.
God, it’s been so long since anyone’s shown him any affection.
“You look good,” Dally says softly, barely above the music. "And you're still comfortable around me. I'm relieved." His hand’s still on Evan’s head. It lingers, down to the nape of his neck, “Are you…?”
Evan’s clears his throat, hugging himself tighter. Jeez, Dally’s hand is, uh… really warm, actually. “I’m clean.” Evan says beneath his breath, “I’ve been clean since our fight, actually. I wanted the next time you saw me to be good. I wanted you to be proud of me.”
Dally yanks Evan close, Evan’s head thudding against Dally’s chest as Dally wraps his arms around him.
“D-Dally!” Evan panics, arms frozen in the air, “What–”
“I’m so proud of you, Ev.” Dally hums, nuzzling his lips against the top of Evan’s head, unafraid to bury himself in Evan’s hair, “I knew you could do it.”
Slowly, Evan manages to hug Dally back.
He really hopes no one’s looking at them.
“What are you two lovebirds talking about?” A grating, nasally voice asks.
Shit.
Of all people it’s–
“Wart.” Evan greets with narrowed eyelids, pulling away from Dally completely.
“Van.” Stuart retorts, a hand on his expensively clothed hip.
God damn it. It’s Evan’s worst nightmare.
This fucker weasled his way into a good life.
“You’ve … grown.” Evan observes, giving Stuart a once-over.
Stuart smirks, “You can say I got fat.”
What? “I meant you got taller.”
Stuart guffaws like some rich weirdo in a poorly-rated sitcom, “Gah-ha-ha! I was blessed with one final growth spurt before 21. I see you weren’t. What are you, 5’1?”
Evan averts his gaze, “5’4.”
Stuart tauntingly clicks his teeth, “Tut-tut-tut. Be honest.”
“….5’3 and a half.”
“GUAH-HA-HA! How insufficient. I feel sorry for your wife, old boy.”
“Why the fuck are you talking like that?!” Evan glowers.
“Huh? Speak up. I can’t hear you.”
Yes the fuck he can!
If Dally’s been able to make out what Evan’s nervously saying over the sound of the busy venue, he knows Stuart’s big ass ears can.
He’s never had much trouble talking to Stuart. Maybe because Stuart makes him so mad.
Dally finally chimes in… but it’s only to speak to Evan, “You don’t have a wife, Ev. Right?”
Evan blushes.
Does Dally really care about that?
“N-no. No I don’t. I’m single, actually.”
Dally doesn’t respond.
Stuart, assumedly bored by his former underlings’ sidebar, adjusts the cuff of his lime green suit jacket, “Okay, I’m off to find the rest. We should all get together again like old times. I’d offer up my place like when we were children, but… the wife wouldn’t want you all musting up the gare-aj.”
“The fucking what?” Evan retorts.
“Toodle loo!”
They both watch as Stuart disappears into the crowd.
“Stuart has completely lost it.” Evan grumbles.
“Did he ever have it?”
Evan shrugs.
Their arms are touching. Dally is suddenly really close.
…Is that aftershave?
“Can you grow a beard now?” Evan asks.
“What?”
“Like… Do you have to shave every day?”
Dally rubs his chin. “Yeah. It grows pretty fast. Do you?”
“...No. I don’t.”
Dally somehow shifts even closer, hand on Evan’s lower back. “You’re still the same, Evan. You’ve barely changed at all.”
Evan clears his throat, gaze snapping to the wall opposite them. He can hardly recognize the classmates standing by the food bar. “That’s not a good thing.”
“It is, Ev.” Dally says far too affectionately, “I’ve always liked you as you are.”
Evan scrapes his shoe against the floor, “Except when I drink.” A pause, “…Drank.”
“Duh. Because you’re an asshole when you drink. That’s not my Evan.”
My Evan.
Who’d’ve thought Dally would ever call him that again?
Does that mean Dally’s officially done being pissed…?
Evan has to ask, “How come you never texted?”
That seems to startle Dally. He takes his hand off Evan’s back, a step away, “....I, uh–”
Just as he starts to answer, Stuart gets on the small gymnasium stage. Mario’s next to him, all smiles and drunken cheers.
It’s hard to imagine they were ever friends with the way their worlds seem so far apart.
Suddenly, Dally shifts closer again. So close that his lips graze Evan’s ear.
Evan holds his breath.
“Wanna get out of here?” Dally asks.
It’s weighty.
Wanting.
It sends shivers up Evan’s spine. He’s too nervous to say yes.
Instead, he whirls around to face Dally, regretting it as those dark eyes bore into his own… way too close for comfort.
“I-I-I still haven’t seen Rex.” Evan breathes, a hard swallow.
Dally’s smug expression drops, straightening his back as he takes Evan by the arm, ushering him closer to the exit (away from prying ears). “....You haven’t heard?”
“No?”
Dally sighs. “Rex is in prison, dude.”
Oh, fuck.
“For what?”
“Some real dark shit. Better you don’t know.”
“...Jesus.”
Rex left the group in senior year and disappeared off the face of the earth, it seemed.
Evan hadn’t expected him to…
Well…
“Come on.” Dally says, taking Evan’s hand in his and dragging him away from the reunion.
They’re walking somewhere now. Dally won’t say where.
Even with his hoodie on, Evan finds it kinda cold.
Who the hell hosts a reunion in November?
“What do you do for work?”
“Tech shit.” Dally hums.
“Like?”
“Fixing computers.”
“I didn’t know you’re a tech guy. In highschool–”
“I got good at it. I’m dumb as bricks but for some reason it makes sense to me.”
“You’re not dumb, Dally.”
“Yeah? Is that why I almost flunked senior year?”
“It wasn’t because you’re dumb. It was ‘cause you stopped giving a shit after…”
“After you broke my heart?”
“Ha ha.”
Dally snorts, shaking his head, “Nah. I, um…” He pulls at his bottom lip, “Fuck, I forgot what I wanted to say.”
…That’s probably for the best. Evan changes the subject. “Y-you’re…. uh….” He glances at Dally, finding a topic of discussion, “pretty damn toned these days.”
That gets a smirk out of Dally. “Really? Looking at my body? Shameless, Ev.”
Evan clears his throat, their arms bumping together again, “Hard not to. Your shirt is way too small for you.”
Dally chuckles. Though it’s not like his usual chuckle. If Evan was crazy – which he’s not – he’d say it sounded flirty.
But that’s fucking gay.
“My eyes are up here, bro.” Dally scolds. He gently shoves Evan with his bodyweight.
Regretfully, Evan blushes.
“I, uh… W-well–” he stammers out, kicking himself as he does.
“Since we’re talking about bodies… Have you been eating well? All your baby fat is gone.”
“B-baby fat?!”
“I’m gonna have to start feeding you again. Five years without me making you dinner and this is what happens.”
“I’m… I’m not a fucking dog, Dally. I can feed myself.” Evan huffs, the heat beneath his skin rising.
“Doesn’t look like it.”
One time, Evan wouldn’t eat. His dad had been guilting him about it for weeks, saying he was being selfish by eating when his mom was too weak to eat at all. So Dally held Evan by the chin and fed Evan himself, every last bite, constant words of warm encouragement as Evan grew calmer and calmer. By the end, Dally dragged the subdued Evan to the couch, pulling him onto his lap as he then forced Evan to watch the worst movie of the 20th century.
“By the way, what do you do?” Dally asks, pulling Evan out of the memory. “For work.”
“...Guess.”
“Hm….” Dally walks backwards, eyeing Evan, “Are you… a nurse?”
“What the fuck?” Evan scoffs, folding his arms, “How’d you know?”
It’s not like Evan has a social media account to post about it on.
Dally laughs victoriously, “I saw you once. I was at the hospital for my mom–”
“Shit, is she okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. Gallbladder stones.”
“Damn.”
“But I saw you in your little uniform. Your ass looks so good in scrubs.”
Evan’s blush is surely visible by now. His entire body is hot. “Dude. Shut the fuck up.”
“I’m serious.”
…Fuck.
Evan stops walking.
After a moment, Dally does, too.
This feels too normal. Too natural.
The elephant in the room is eating away at Evan.
Along with all this unsettling heat.
“...How come you didn’t say anything back then?”
Dally raises a brow. “About your tight ass?”
“N-no.” He coughs, “How come you didn’t say hey when you saw me at the hospital?”
Dally glances away. “Figured you were busy. Didn’t wanna bother you.”
“Bullshit. You’re never worried about bothering me.”
Dally shrugs, “You don’t know me anymore. I’m different these days.”
“Fuck off.”
“I am. I’m a gentleman now.”
“Yeah fucking right.”
“Don’t believe me? I’ll– I’ll fucking show you, dude. Let me take you out.”
“W-what?!” Evan splutters.
What?!
“Let me show you how good I am now, Ev.”
Evan feels something weird stir in his gut.
It reminds him of back then.
When they….
“G-good at what?” he whispers.
Dally smirks, real big this time. He walks forward until Evan’s so squeamish that he starts to step back, Dally grabbing him by the waist and pulling him in close.
Evan sucks in a sharp breath before roughly shoving Dally away. “S-say no homo, jackass!”
He feels weird.
Really weird.
He hasn’t been touched this much in years. It’s screwing with him, making him horny or some shit.
It’s not ‘cause of Dally. Evan’s just… touch starved.
God, he needs to get laid.
Dally just smiles. “Hungry?”
Evan’s brows knit themselves into a harsh ‘V’. “Yeah. I could eat.”
Dally’s magical idea for food is a nearby hotel.
It isn’t until Evan notices Dally’s old suitcase in the corner that he realizes this is where Dally’s staying.
“Do you not live in town?” he asks, gesturing to the suitcase.
Dally looks over at it too, wiping his mouth with his napkin, “Nah. Not right now. Moved away about a year ago to see the world, I guess.”
“Really? To where?”
“Wanted some obscure shit, so I went to Maine.”
Evan snorts. “Dude. No one lives in Maine.”
“I do.” Dally grins. “You should visit.”
“What’s there?”
“...Stuff. Good food. Oh, I got some tattoos.”
“Fucking finally.”
“I know, I know. Here, look.”
Dally stands up and puts his food down on the nightstand before turning around to face Evan. He lifts his shirt up to his chest, Evan’s breath catching in his throat as Dally unbuckles his belt.
What the fuck?
God.
Since when is Dally’s stomach hot?
It’s not.
Definitely not.
Evan feels drunk.
Dally pulls his waistband down, exposing the clean shaven skin of his pelvis, the defined V trailing down to his dick that Evan’s definitely seen before.
…Like he’d ever forget what it looks like.
God.
Jesus.
Just a little more agonizingly heat-inducing tugging and Dally’s showing Evan his tattoos, rambling on about the meaning or why he got them or some shit but all Evan sees is black shrouding his vision.
That’s the sluttiest tattoo placement Evan’s ever seen. In fact – He’s almost sure he mentioned to Dally when they were teenagers how weak he gets for hidden tattoos like this, how much it turns him on when girls get them down there.
It feels like Dally got them there just to make Evan fucking drool.
And for some godforsaken reason it’s working.
…Asshole.
“They’re cool.” Evan says flatly, trying not to stare, but his eyes are glued there, to the exposed skin right in front of his face, heartbeat shifting up to his eardrums, “G-got any more…?”
Dally is definitely staring into Evan’s distracted eyes.
He knows Evan can’t look away.
“Nah, but I’ve got a, uh, piercing down there.”
“On your dick?”
“Maybe.”
“You’re so fucked.”
“I’ve heard it’s fun to suck on.”
…
Evan goes silent.
Dally, the whore he is, finally stops teasing Evan, tugging down the hem of his shirt and buckling his belt.
“Anyway.”
“Yeah,” Evan scoffs, “Fucking anyway.”
His dick is hard.
“I left ‘cause this town is too small. Started feeling kinda trapped, I guess.”
“Not small enough.” Evan grumbles, “I never saw you after highschool. Not even once.”
“Like you leave your apartment.”
“I do.”
“To go to work?”
Evan leans over the now-seated Dally’s lap and sets his food down on the nightstand. The food was shit (go figure), so neither of them ate very much. “Maybe.”
Dally throws his arms behind his head and lays down on the bed. Evan tries not to stare as the hem of his shirt rides up, exposing just a sliver of his way too hot stomach.
Something’s seriously fucked up with Evan tonight.
A few moments of silence pass before Dally asks, “How’s your sister?”
“...Fine. Almost old enough to move in with me.”
“Damn, you’re taking her in? You’re such a good guy, Ev. Seriously.”
“Anyone would do it.”
“Not anyone.”
Again, Evan blushes.
Jesus.
“Well, she–”
Dally’s phone buzzes in his pocket. He reaches to grab it, lifting it up to his face and smiling as he sees something. He starts typing, a sinking feeling in Evan’s stomach.
With all the excitement, Evan forgot to consider if Dally has a girlfriend – worse – a wife.
Fuck, what if he has kids?
Evan suddenly feels sick. And that makes him even more unnerved.
Dally puts his phone away, Evan’s hands wringing together nervously.
He’d always been able to speak more freely with Dally – loudly, even. But when he’s nervous, that all slips away.
“D-Dally, uh… Do you have a–”
Dally sits up, looks at Evan. He can definitely tell Evan’s nervous, because–
“A-are you with anyone?” Evan spits out.
Dally’s just staring at him, Evan’s heart pounding out of his ribcage.
“Like… dating anyone?” Dally confirms.
Evan nods, averting his gaze.
“Uh….. Yeah, Ev. Married, actually.”
Evan can’t help it. His entire demeanor sours and he stands, “I’m gonna leave.”
Dally stands, too, grabs Evan’s wrist, “Evan, wait–”
Evan yanks his hand away, looks around for his things, “I-I’m sorry. I’m happy for you, I just–”
“Evan. Calm down.”
Evan tries to get away but Dally grabs him by the waist and pulls him close again, this rush of emotion bursting through Evan that makes him feel sick and sad and confused and guilty and every fucking bad thing in this world.
It’s stupid. It’s fucking stupid. One sentence and Evan’s world’s crashing down around him.
Dally’s body’s fucking warm and his arms feel good and Evan’s eyes are blurry and he’s fucking mad that he feels this way because Dally’s married.
Dally fell for someone. Asked them to marry him. Had a wedding. Probably had fucking kids with them.
And he never said a fucking word to Evan.
At the very fucking least Evan should have been his best man. At the very least.
Addiction is a bitch but it doesn’t mean abandon Evan. If Dally really loved Evan he would have… he would have reached out for at least that!
How mad could Dally have been?
“Let go of me.” Evan whispers. He hates that he’s whispering with Dally.
“No, Evan–”
“No?”
“I didn’t– I lied. I was lying.”
“Lying?”
“That was fucked of me. I’m sorry. I just wanted to see how you’d react.”
“Fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“Evan…. You still haven't figured it out?”
“Figured what out?”
Dally sighs. And then he leans down, and Evan’s heartbeat breaks the sound barrier.
“D-Dally–”
“Quiet.”
Dally walks Evan backward, Evan practically tripping over his own feet, just clinging to Dally as Dally pins him against the wall. Their lips are locked, Evan’s head filled with nothing and everything as Dally kisses him like he means it. Has been dreaming of this.
His lips are soft, his kiss rough. He’s holding Evan so tightly and Evan can’t tell if he’s remembering to breathe or not. Dally forces his tongue in Evan’s mouth, earns a moan out of Evan as Evan melts in his grasp.
There’s this weird ass hunger building in Evan’s gut and it’s answered as Dally pulls away from their kiss, starts licking and nibbling the crook of Evan’s neck. He slowly sinks to his knees as Evan starts to pant and then he’s lifting Evan’s hoodie, nosing under his shirt and kissing the bare skin, Evan’s entire body erupting with heat.
“F-fuck, Dally…!” he gasps out, squirming now, “What are you–”
Dally unbuttons Evan’s jeans, still kissing his stomach and he fishes Evan’s way-too-hard cock out of the hole in his boxers.
Ordinarily, Evan would object. But his entire brain is jelly, and he just tilts his head back, moans way louder than he wants to as Dally sucks Evan’s cock into his mouth, takes him to the base and palms Evan’s ass.
It feels so fucking good. Like – insanely good. Dally’s using his tongue and sucking Evan so good that all Evan wants to do is card fingers through his buzzcut and ride it out.
The problem is it’s fucking Dally doing this, a man, and… And Evan’s so fucking desperate that he’s already close.
“Mmgh… D-Dally… This isn’t funny… I’m gonna–” He’s whimpering now, pushing at Dally’s forehead, “Seriously, dude, I’m gonna–!” He inhales, squirms, pushes, tries to get away, but no matter how much he fights it, he cums….. right inside Dally’s mouth.
Dally pulls away, licking his lips clean as he stares up at the red-faced Evan. “Damn, you taste good.”
Evan’s still coming down from it, and only one thing is ringing in his mind on loop, the adrenaline forcing him to say, “F-fuck you, Dally! That– That’s not what– what men do. I–I don’t…. What the hell?!”
“You just did it.” Dally says, still on his goddamn knees.
“Like hell I did!” Evan objects, his voice loud and clear now, “I’m not gay. Neither are you. You’re not fucking gay, Dally.”
Dally crosses his arms, sitting back on his heels, “So what if I was?”
Evan clicks his teeth. “You’re not. My bestfriend can’t be gay .”
“First off –” Dally asserts, wiping off his mouth, “I haven’t been your bestfriend since graduation. And second off, how are you still in denial?”
“In denial?!” Evan snaps, “Are you fucking serious? The only one of us who might have been gay was Ib, and he–”
“Is. And we live together.”
That earns a scowl from Evan, “What, you two suck each other’s dicks or something?”
“I just sucked yours. And you liked it.”
“Wh– No. I didn’t. Why would I like that?”
“Because you like me, bro.”
Evan’s trying so hard to be angry. But deep down he’s just…. sad.
“Fuck off. I’m not gay.”
Dally stands up. “I thought you’d have been more honest with yourself by now. I used to question this – us – a lot. But I’m man enough to call it what it is, now, Ev. So why can’t you?”
“Because–”
Dally doesn’t give Evan a chance to answer. This time he yanks Evan close, licks his lips open and slips his tongue into Evan’s mouth. Evan bites back his groan as Dally grips his waist, unwavering in his intensity.
“Then what do you call this?” Dally asks between kisses, breathy and wanting, “What do you think this is, Evan?”
“S-shut up…”
“Do you want to stop?”
“N-no…”
“It’s gay. You know it is.”
Evan whimpers, a firm hand on Dally’s chest, “D-don’t tell anyone. Dally, I swear to god.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“You know what.” Evan huffs, shoving Dally away, “It was always you. I… I know it was, Dally, but–”
“But?”
“There’s enough fucking wrong with my life, dude. I don’t need this. I could never be like Ib. Or fucking you, apparently. I couldn’t walk around okay with this shit. It disgusts me.”
“I disgust you?”
Evan’s voice trembles, “Maybe.”
“Because I like you? No – Hell, I love you, Evan. I’m in love with you. Tonight confirmed it. I can’t spend another year away from you.”
Heat perserveers beneath Evan’s skin, an unfavorable lump forming in his throat. His eyes burn, his fingers trembling. Dally doesn’t know what he’s saying, and Evan, “Can’t. I can’t, Dally.”
“Why not?”
Evan shoves Dally again, sucking in deep breaths. The room is spinning, “I wish… I wish you were a girl. Or I was. But we’re not. That’s just the way it is. I accepted that. You should, too. Don’t be an ass about this.”
“That’s not how love works.”
Love.
It’s everything Evan could ever hope to hear Dally say, but…
Evan shoves him again, harder this time. “I figured it out. When we were kids. I knew, Dally. It was so fucking obvious. Even my dad knew. I was so excited when I told him and he–”
“Fuck–”
“–He beat it out of me, Dally. All the fucking time. Said I was going to hell. That he wasn’t going to allow my sick mother to die thinking she had a ‘sissy’ for a son. She had enough suffering without me taking it up the ass. That’s why you couldn’t come over.”
“I’m sorry, Ev–”
“I didn’t even know what he meant yet. I didn’t fucking know it was wrong. I was–” Evan chokes on his words, “I was seven, Dally.”
They sit in it for a moment. It’s clear Dally has no idea what to say. He opens his mouth, but Evan’s not done.
“So no, I didn’t become more honest with myself. Even with the guys, I… I knew they’d give us shit. And it’s not like I can’t take it, but…. I can’t think of anyone in my life who would stick around if this–” He gestures between the two of them, “happened. Not my coworkers, not my friends, my dead, religious mother…. my mute sister…”
“I would.”
“And what if you broke up with me? Because we both know you get sick of my shit. What if I gave up everything – everyone – and you left me again? Fuck that, Dally–”
“You left me.”
“No. You left me no choice.”
“Evan–”
“I was going to get better. I wanted to. It was real that time.”
Evan doesn’t know why he’s arguing. His eyes burn.
These words have been bottled up for years.
“You never would have gotten better if I hadn’t left you for real, Evan. I mean, you… You were getting started on some serious shit, dude. It wasn’t just alcohol anymore. I don't even know where you got the cash for it.”
Evan swallows hard. “Yeah. I know. I just… I needed you. I wanted you. I missed you.”
Dally’s shoulders seem to melt down to his chest. “I’m here now.”
“What fucking took you so long? Five years sober, Dally, I– I’ve been so fucking good for you.”
“I know, Ev. Come here.”
Dally holds Evan. Envelopes him in his warmth. Rocks him back and forth as Evan fights the urge to melt to the ground.
Five years he’s been waiting to see Dally. Five years without the best – no, only friend he's ever had.
Dally doesn't know just how special he really is to Evan.
Evan pulls away from their hug just enough to glance up at Dally. And then he stands on the tips of his toes, everything around them disappearing as their lips meet again.
This kiss is slow….. gentle… romantic.
Evan doesn’t want to linger on the past forever. If Dally means what he said – really means it – then just for tonight, Evan can pretend whatever this is makes sense.
There’s a desperation to the way Evan licks Dally’s lower lip, furthered by the way his hands slide beneath Dally’s tight shirt, a silent plea for more.
Dally sighs, lets Evan, his hips pushing forward as Evan’s hands descend.
“F-fuck… Are you sure?” Dally breathes, eyelids low as Evan heats up, trailing hesitant fingers along Dally’s bulge.
“Yeah.” Evan says, a yelp as Dally lifts him, carrying him to the bed and throwing him down onto the mattress.
He climbs up above Evan, delicately brushing Evan’s hair out of his face. “Let me help you feel good,” he says softly. “As an apology.”
Evan wants to say that he already has… but he just blushes and nods, a gentle hand on the back of Dally’s head.
“S-sorry for all that shit I just said.” Evan whispers, embarrassed by the harsh words replaying in his mind. “You’re not disgusting. I’m just… fucked, I guess. I know you’re right.”
“It’s cool, dude. I wasn’t the nicest to myself when I realized why leaving you hurt me so much. I was gutted without you, Ev. I want you to know I–”
“I know. But you made the right choice. I was fucked. Really fucked. It was bad.”
“Yeah.”
“It was just ‘cause my mom died, y’know, and I… Well… I was stupid and sad. The best thing you ever did was show me you weren’t sticking around for that shit. Hell of a wakeup call.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
They stay like that for a moment, Dally hovering over Evan, Evan staring up at him with ever increasing affection.
…Dally still loves Evan.
Just how lucky can Evan be?
Evan licks his lips, “So… what do you want to do to me?”
Dally exhales harshly, blush deepening, “A-actually, uh… I was kinda wondering if I could fuck you.”
…
“W-what?!” Evan splutters, thighs snapping shut, “Like… put your dick up my ass?!”
“Y-yeah…”
“That’s mega gay, dude!”
“I’d be gentle with you, Ev. Promise.”
Evan thought he was hot before. But now his entire body is molten lava.
And the worst part is…. his dick is rock hard again.
“Fine.” he grumbles, “Whatever. But if it doesn’t fit, take it out.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll work you open nice and slow so it doesn’t hurt.”
Evan’s cheeks sting. He just shrugs (because speaking is way too hard right now), and signals for Dally to do whatever the fuck he wants.
“Are you sure?”
“I-I’m not a girl, Dally. You don’t have to keep being all polite and shit. Just fuck me.”
Dally smirks, “God, you’re gonna feel so good, Ev. Fuck, dude.”
“S-shut up.” Evan flusters, butterflies in his stomach.
Evan’s covered in their cum and blushing out of his mind when Dally has the audacity to notice Evan’s prevailing boner and ask, “Want more?”
“N-no!” Evan barks, standing up and covering up his chest and crotch with his arms, “Fuck you! I’ll just go shower.” a pause, “Idiot.”
Dally laughs, his big fucking dick laying atop his stomach, “You’re so cute. It’s okay to say you want more.”
“I don’t!” Evan blurts out, turning around and covering his ass now, “Fucker.”
He rushes to the bathroom, turning on the shower and taking a deep breath.
Jesus Christ.
Dally fucked the shit out of him.
He opened Evan up with his fingers, lost his mind and tongued Evan’s ass. Then he asked if Evan had ever had his prostate stimulated and when Evan said ‘Hell no’ Dally milked it until Evan was crying out Dally’s name, cumming all over the fucking place.
And that was before Dally even got his dick inside him.
Evan’s so fucking horny. He can’t believe it. Getting fucked felt so damn good. His hands on his dick and he’s blinded by lust, mindlessly jerking himself off against the wall.
At this point, hiding how good it felt is worthless. Dally’s smug ass knows exactly what he did to Evan, riding on the high like all his years of patience have finally paid off.
Evan refuses to let him have the satisfaction.
…The problem is his ass is begging for more. Screaming for it. He wants Dally inside him so fucking badly. He can’t even make it to the shower without contemplating Dally coming with him, fucking him against the shower wall.
God, how is he already addicted?
He melted into the mattress. Dally fucked him so good that Evan was drooling, ass raised, just gripping he sheets as Dally had his way with him. It was so loud. Skin on skin, this quick, reckless ‘slap slap slap’ sound that surely could be heard by the neighboring tenants.
Honestly, he thought it would hurt. He thought he’d spend the whole time shoving Dally away and telling him it was too much. After all, this was Evan’s virginity. He’d never done anything like it before.
But maybe Evan’s made for this shit. ‘Cause by the time Dally came all over his back, all Evan could think was that he wasn’t done yet. They could do so much more.
His head’s swimming. He slips two fingers behind himself, inside his entrance, whimpers as he thinks of the man mere steps away.
If he stops fighting his urges, he can have exactly what he wants right here right now.
But admitting to Dally how good that was would be like…
Like admitting he was gay all along. Never fucked a girl ‘cause it was Dally he really wanted.
Fuck it.
Who cares?
He opens the bathroom door, steam pouring out as Dally glances over at him.
“Do you wanna…” Evan trails off, and Dally couldn’t stand up any faster, closes the distance and kisses Evan all the way into the shower.
“Am I your new addiction?” Dally asks once he’s inside Evan again, Evan’s legs wrapped around his waist. He holds Evan like he’s weightless, fucks him slow. Slow enough that they can talk.
“New? No, uh… no this isn’t new, Dally.”
“Really?”
Evan remembers when it really started. When the ache that resurfaced tonight was first born. “One time when your parents were gone you were fucking with me. Kept licking and biting my neck. Fuck, I was so horny I went and jerked off in your bathroom, saw myself in the mirror before I came back out. I was so paranoid you could hear me that I tried to leave but then you pinned me on the couch and kept teasing me and I swore I was going to hell for not pushing you away.”
Dally closes his eyes, thrusts faster, moans softly, “Y-yeah… I remember doing that. Definitely wasn’t fucking innocent.” he sighs out, “I wanted you.”
“I know that now. But at the time…”
“Yeah. I never thought you’d want this either.”
“You should have just kissed me. God, I wish you would’ve kissed me.”
“...I wanted to.”
He holds Evan so delicately that it drives Evan crazy, grips his wet skin like it’s made of glass, so fragile, so precious.
Evan hates how slow he’s going so he moves his hips, rides Dally desperately and laughs out a groan as Dally listens and picks up the pace.
“How many times are we gonna do this tonight?” Evan asks.
He feels like such a girl when Dally holds him. Wants to fight it but he can’t.
“I don’t know. We missed out on a lot of time, Ev.” Dally hums. His balls are slapping against Evan’s ass. He runs his thumb over Evan’s nipple and gauges his reaction.
“…Yeah.”
“Are you still gonna be here when I wake up in the morning?”
“Where else would I go?”
Dally wraps his arms around Evan, hugging him tight as his thrusts slow again, “I dunno. I just don’t want this to be a dream.”
“It isn’t.”
“I’ll believe it when you kiss me goodmorning.”
Evan laughs, “I’m not giving you a good morning kiss.”
“Why not? I love you, Evan.”
Evan’s laugh grinds to a halt.
…Oh yeah.
“I, um…”
“I know you love me, too.”
“Yeah.”
The sun bleeding through the blinds is what wakes Evan. He feels hungover, groaning out the ache in his lower back as he senses the warmth of another against him.
It takes a moment of blinking away the morning fog before he remembers who it is.
Fucking Dally?!
Instantly, he’s burning hot, gulping down the dryness of his throat as it all comes rushing back.
Holy shit.
They fucked like four more times after the shower. By the end, Dally was shooting pathetic fucking blanks so he asked if Evan could fuck him. And Evan said yes!
What the hell was Evan thinking?!
His dick springs awake at the memory, Dally’s firm, sleeping grip around his waist like thorned tendrils.
Dally shifts and Evan squeaks as he gets pulled in even closer.
Oh god.
His fucking leg is intertwined with Dally’s.
That’s it!
Evan’s had enough.
“Wake up, Erendall.” Evan demands.
Dally stirs.
“Seriously, wake up, dude. I’m overheating.”
Dally finally pops an eye open, the dopiest grin spreading across his face as they lock eyes. “Whoa. You’re real.”
“Duh.”
They (mostly Evan) untangle their limbs, Dally sleepily blinking at him before chuckling, “Your hair is so fucked right now, dude.”
“You have yourself to blame.”
“It’s cute.” A pause, “You’re cute.”
Of course, Evan blushes. “Shut up.”
“Can I take you out to breakfast?”
“I’m not a fucking girl.”
Dally gently nudges him. “Stop saying that.”
“Stop making me want to say it.”
Dally rolls over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “I never had a girlfriend after highschool, y’know. I tried a couple times but it never felt right. It’s not that I’m gay or anything.”
“I thought you said last night was gay.”
“It was. But I’m bi, dude. I’d like you if you were a guy or a girl. I just like you. I think I’ve had a crush on you our whole lives.”
“Dude, shut up.”
“You always say that when I make you too happy.”
“And?”
“And I think you should let yourself be happy. No objections.”
Evan frowns, “I think you should shut the fuck up.”
“Or what?”
“Or I’ll fuck you again. Was kinda funny hearing you beg for my dick.”
Dally groans, hand on his lower stomach. “Okay, now you shut up.”
“Oh yeah? Or what?”
“Or we’ll be stuck in here all day. I’m hungry.”
“Mmph…”
Evan’s dick is so awake.
“Come cook me something at my place, then. I don’t wanna go out.” Evan says, placing his hand up Dally’s bicep. He’s built so much muscle over the last few years. It’s so goddamn hot.
“Scared of being seen together?”
“No. I don’t go out a lot.”
“I know. That’s why I took you here last night instead of a restaurant.”
“...Thanks for that.”
“So you just wanna stay inside all day?”
Evan nods, slowly crawling onto Dally’s lap, sliding his hands up Dally’s stomach.
Dally twitches beneath him, “E-Evan… I really am hungry.”
“Me too.” Evan sighs, shifting his hips ever so slightly, “So hungry.”
Dally moans, grabbing Evan by the hip and holding him still. “Fine. Five minutes. Then we’re fucking leaving, okay?”
“Only five…?”
“Ten. N-no… Fifteen. Then I’m taking you home. What do you even have in your fridge?”
Oh, uh… “Eggs…?”
Dally grins, drawing Evan in for a kiss. “Whatever. Good enough.”