sam deserves better than these assholes
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Listing Series
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tag ur porn by lazulisong for rageprufrock
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
08 Aug 2014
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Summary
The screen blipped and the person reappeared, now clutching a large Ragdoll cat who was purring even as the human muffled another scream in it's fur. "Omigod. Omigod. I'm calm. I'm calm. GUYS. So you remember how I said I hoped you'd send in reaction vids to the hairstyle tutorials? I think Captain America just sent me one, oh my fucking God." They squeezed the cat tightly enough that it let out a mildly protesting squeak. "OH GOD, Roadkill, I'm so sorry, Mommy's so excited right now." They let go of the cat and it sort of flowed into a puddle between them and the camera. "Okay. Okay. Roll video."
Sam paused the video long enough to break out the ginger ale and vodka.
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- Part 11 of It was late, and Meg was very tired
- Part 17 of HAIRBALLER
- Part 1 of sam deserves better than these assholes
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maybe you'd better ask CAPTAIN ROGERS why I'm not talking to him by lazulisong for coinin
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
22 Aug 2014
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Bucky's face hadn't changed, but Steve's jaw was sticking out at a angle best described as 'mulish'.
"Okay," said Sam, taking a fortifying drink of his coffee. "You guys gonna use words any time soon, or do I tattle to Nat?"
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- Part 2 of sam deserves better than these assholes
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sugarpie honeybunch by lazulisong
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
30 Aug 2014
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Summary
Sam's sister is the worst. He can't just drop everything and babysit his niece. What if something happens?
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- Part 3 of sam deserves better than these assholes
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hang on little tomato by lazulisong
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
21 Sep 2014
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Summary
It's that day of the year again and it never gets easier for Sam.
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- Part 4 of sam deserves better than these assholes
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old people love bingo by lazulisong
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
29 Sep 2014
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Summary
Steve held up a hand. "Where were you during this?" he said, like he was a little afraid of the answer.
"Crawling my god damn way across a floor that hadn't seen a mop since before the smoking ban, trying not to knock over walkers or oxygen tanks, hoping to fuck I could borrow someone's illegal concealed carry firearm, and imagining what the officer was gonna say about the black guy with the gun in a room full of veterans," said Sam.
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- Part 5 of sam deserves better than these assholes
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Summary
Bucky takes baby steps out into the world. Sam's pretty proud of him.
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- Part 7 of sam deserves better than these assholes
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Summary
A scrap I had started of Bucky vs modern Halloween, which I don't think I'm going to finish but does feature Steve's Horrible Childhood Reminisces that I thought were pretty funny anyway. Also, Jodi! Very briefly.
Series
- Part 8 of sam deserves better than these assholes
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for what we are given we give thanks by lazulisong for lysapadin
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies)
27 Nov 2014
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Summary
lysapadin asked:
What are Sam and his two pet assholes up to on Turkey Day?
I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, BRO.
Series
- Part 9 of sam deserves better than these assholes
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the hap-happiest season of all by lazulisong
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics)
26 Dec 2014
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Summary
When he took the pile of Tupperware into the kitchen, he almost stumbled over Barton's dog, who was lying in the middle of the kitchen with the expression of a martyr and the fart-aura of a minor nuclear weapon. He looked up at Sam and rolled over to expose his half-bald, stinky stomach, and Sam said, "What the hell."
Series
- Part 10 of sam deserves better than these assholes
- Part 1 of 12 Days 2014
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don't sit under the apple tree by lazulisong for verity
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Agent Carter (TV)
16 Jan 2015
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Summary
bucky and peggy's first meeting in seventy odd years goes approximately as well as you might expect.
Series
- Part 11 of sam deserves better than these assholes
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short scenes from a life of chaos and fluffy blankets by lazulisong
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
09 Mar 2015
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Summary
Super short scenes and drabbles from the Sam Doesn't Deserve These Assholes series. Mostly things that don't quite work with the larger stories but are more-or-less complete as they stand. Some scenes may show up in later stories! WE JUST DON'T KNOW.
Series
- Part 12 of sam deserves better than these assholes
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Summary
By that Sam actually meant Steve was a super-perfectionist asshole who was very upset that he couldn't bake for shit and had once been defeated by "anybody can make these -- Clint can make these" cookies and spent a week sulking about it.
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- Part 13 of sam deserves better than these assholes
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your cheatin' heart by lazulisong
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
08 Apr 2015
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Summary
steve rogers: captain america. dirty rotten cheating cheater that cheats like a cheater.
tony stark: iron man. biggest whiny baby at losing at prime/not prime.
together, they drive sam wilson crazier.
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- Part 14 of sam deserves better than these assholes
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Sam thought he got free of this shit when he retired. Bucky could have told him better.
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- Part 15 of sam deserves better than these assholes
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Bucky loves cats, which, on mature consideration, Sam's not surprised by at all.
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- Part 16 of sam deserves better than these assholes