Memere13



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    Bood: And what would this person need to get Roz to settle down?
    Roz: must be most beautiful person you have ever seen
    Roz: very funny but does not know they are funny
    Roz: and suck dick like their life depends on it

    Or: The Centaurs know that Roz is sad, and probably a little lonely. So they do their best to set him up with someone who matches his specific list of requirements. What they don't know is that their captain has already found that person.

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    24 Apr 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    She’d never say anything, of course, because she could be wrong. In fact, most days Yuna was certain she was wrong. Shane had only ever dated girls, and had never shown any outright signs of liking… anything else. But that didn’t stop her from wondering, occasionally, whether her son was entirely straight.
    But the last hour or so had certainly put paid to that suspicion. Because Shane was receiving a frankly alarming number of texts from someone named ‘Lily’.

    Or: Yuna and David meet Ilya Rozanov at the hospital after Shane’s injury.

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    23 Apr 2026

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    “What are we doing?” Shane asks and Ilya holds out the other pair of skates he’d grabbed.

    “Put these on,” Ilya says, and Shane takes them from him with a skepitcal look.

    “Will these even fit me? And again, what are we doing? Are we even supposed to be here? I don’t think–”

    “Shane,” Ilya interrupts, taking Shane’s face into his hands and squeezing just enough to make Shane’s lips pucker out. “You are going crazy at home. You love to skate. You love hockey. So let’s go skate. And play hockey. Just you and me, okay?”

    Oh

    There’s so many things he wants to say. Like how much he loves Ilya. Or how glad he is that they’d taken the plunge off that scary, crazy cliff when they were teenagers. Or how even in the midst of the craziness and anxiety and unknown, Shane is so fucking excited for the life they’re going to have.

    But it all gets caught in his throat as emotion takes hold, and all he can do is nod and say, “Okay.”

    ____

    Or, five times Ilya helps Shane when he's overwhelmed and one time Shane returns the favor.

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    17 Apr 2026

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    [Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander sit on stools in the Centaurs’ locker room. They are wearing each other’s jerseys, and Ilya has a large pink heart painted on his left cheek. Shane has a smattering of silver sparkly heart freckles across his nose.]

    Harris: (off camera) Okay, boys. As the Centaurs’ resident power couple, we’re going to ask you twenty couples questions in honor of our Valentine’s Day game coming up!

    Ilya: Oh, good. Shane loves questions. He has a million for every possible situation. Are you sure you don’t want him to lead the interview? 

    Shane: Fuck you, Rozanov.

    Harris: Glad we got that out of the way early.

     

     

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    17 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    [An image of this year’s NHL East All-Star team, including Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander, Wyatt Hayes, Troy Barrett, Carter Vaughn, and Scott Hunter, all smiling after winning this year’s NHL All-Star Game in Las Vegas]

     

    @NHLInsider There’s rumor going around that Page Six has evidence from last weekend’s All-Star Game that two NHL players are romantically linked. Checking my sources to see what I can find out. Will update later. This could have huge implications if true. 

     

    Posted on February 12 2:30 pm

    ***

    @ssmith20 wut?

    @rozanoff no way fuck boy rozanov is involved in this. my money’s on barrett and hollander.

    @luverofhockey holy shit. if this is true, it’s going to be insane

    @hattrickzzzz @luverofhockey would it really be all that surprising? Hockey is one of the most homoerotic sports in existence. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if they had whole team orgies after every game.

    @shanehollanderswife there’s no way that reddit post about Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov being a couple is correct, right? ….right? 

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    17 Apr 2026