Parrot_Assbutt
Fandoms
Recent works
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Tags
Summary
Scenes from the mind of Sammy Lawrence, in debatable order. Disjointed and nonsensical as the song of radio static.
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Day 3 of Writing Stupid Ideas Until Insurance Approves My Medication And I Am Allowed To Focus On Longer Works Once Again by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandoms: The Owl House (Cartoon)
06 Nov 2022
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Summary
What if "Thanks to Them" had ended differently?
What if Hunter had dealt with the Belos threat more directly?Alternate title: Gus is Right, We Should Microwave the Belos Slime
Series
- Part 5 of Crack In A Bag
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Day 2 of Catboying Perfectly Good Men Until My ADHD Gets Back to Manageable Levels by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandoms: Bendy and the Ink Machine
07 Oct 2022
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Summary
It's Halloween at the studio.
Series
- Part 4 of Crack In A Bag
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Day 1 Of Writing Crack Fics Until The Emperor (Me) Gets His Groove Back by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandoms: Bendy and the Ink Machine
24 Sep 2022
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Summary
Sammy's ink hallucinations are recognized and treated much earlier on than in canon. He's still kind of an asshole though.
Series
- Part 3 of Crack In A Bag
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Summary
Sammy was a simple man, with simple needs.
Prequel to "Joey Gets It", written on impulse several years after the fact.Series
- Part 1 of Crack In A Bag
Recent series
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Crack In A Bag by Parrot_Assbutt
Fandom: Bendy and the Ink Machine, The Owl House (Cartoon)
06 Nov 2022
Summary
Assorted Crack fics, some connected, others standalone.
- Words:
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- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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- Words:
- 2,021
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- Words:
- 999
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- Words:
- 1,821
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- Bookmarks:
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Recent bookmarks
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Reining in the Reigning King by LemmingDancer
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game)
14 Mar 2022
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Summary
“Hand me Roach's reigns,” Jaskier ordered.
“Reins,” Geralt corrected. “There’s no silent ‘g’ in it.”
“What? How do you know I’m putting a silent ‘g’ in it?”
“Can smell it.”
In which the bard and the witcher trade places: Jaskier is injured and Geralt is a wordsmith keen on exploring linguistic subtleties.
Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
29 Dec 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Sending this to my friend immediately
"Bullshit, you can't smell grammar." -
The House at 13 Elm Street by LemmingDancer for tsttoain
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game)
03 Jun 2022
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Summary
Julian has never felt at home in his small, midwestern hometown, not until a series of strange encounters with stranger men. And while he’s always dreamed of wild adventures in the wider world, he never expected opportunity to come knocking via his teenage paper route.
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The Last Soulmates by Galateasfire, LemmingDancer
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game)
30 Sep 2023
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Summary
In a world where soulmates are hunted for their healing power, Jaskier lives a lonely but privileged life in thriving Lettenhove. His curiosity drags him a little too far into the underbelly of his family's keep, where he discovers the cruel, corrupted secret powering their prosperity. The knowledge haunts his nights and dogs his days, but righting the old wrong at the core of his world is no easy task.
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On Dhampirs, Mothers, And Storybook Endings by thecheeseburgercat
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
18 Dec 2025
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Summary
Blade and Dagger, adventuring through the frontiers, writing the next chapter of their story together. But it has a couple of twists that even Volo couldn't pen if he tried...something to do with long-lost parents and dhampirs.
Or, the story in which Astarion both finds his mum and finds a surprise within.
~*~
"Of course not," Adhara laughs. "For me it was mince pies. Used to love a good mince, and then all of a sudden I couldn't bear to be in the same house as one. No, but I had a lot of the common symptoms when I learned I was expecting you—and it's quite normal for us elves to sleep heavily while we're pregnant."
"What did you just say?" Astarion croaks, his face sheet-white.
Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
26 Dec 2025
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Summary
Julian works at an adult bookshop in Philadelphia.
Geralt owns Four Seasons Total Landscaping.
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I'd say I'm sorry but honestly? I'm not.
Bookmarked by Parrot_Assbutt
21 Dec 2025