Syd_Laurence



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    So, the first thing that happens is Castiel comes back.

    ~~~

    "Right," Dean says eventually, gruffly. He looks down at his shoes. "I'm not gonna tell you how to live your life, man. It's—you know, yours. Do your thing, love who you love, whatever. I can't really stop you from loving me, if that's what you've decided to do, but I don't—I can't—"

    "I know," Castiel murmurs, still just smiling a little, not looking heartbroken at all. "Don't worry about it, Dean, that's all I ask."

    "So we're—" Dean risks a glance up, swallowing thickly. "We're good?"

    Castiel hums. "We're good."

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    26 Jul 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Cas dies and Dean starts referring to himself as a widower. This is somewhat confusing for everyone involved.

    (Inspired by *that* tumblr post; linked in notes)

    (Canon MCD not tagged because it's temporary)

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    25 Jul 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Dean keeps going back.

    When he arrives, it's always to blooming flowers and a windmill in the background, not too far from a brook, the sun painting the plains.

    He likes it there. He likes to stand in front of the makeshift urn and check that it's still where he put it, switching out the flowers when they wilt. He likes to listen to the sound of birds chirping, insects singing, the faint sound of water trickling in the distance. He likes to turn his face up and feel the sun on his skin, wondering if Cas would do the same if he were here, somehow knowing that he would.

    He likes to talk.

    There's never a response, but Dean feels the breeze rustle through his hair and watches the flowers bob when bees come to them and stares as the windmill keeps turning, turning, turning. And he imagines that Cas is replying—the windmill is the tilted head, the bobbing flowers are a gentle smile, the breeze is whatever words Dean wants to hear at the time.

    Sometimes, it's almost like he's there.

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    25 Jul 2025

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    Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.

    ~~~

    "You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"

    Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.

    Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.

    "What?" Dean grits out.

    "I love you, too."

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    24 Jul 2025

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    During a storm in September of 1987, Dean and Sam hear something hit their roof. When they brave the backyard to investigate, they find a fledgling angel.

    A story about best friendship, spoiled plans, and love, in four parts.

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    06 May 2025