TheyShouldHaveBeenCanon



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    Red Hood's men are… a bit unusual. They're still clearly the henchmen of the new and upcoming Crime Lord who openly and aggressively hates Batman but for some reason… they're dead set on helping Robin.

    They're even fairly good at helping out. Though, when Robin gets hit with a modified version of Poison Ivy's pollen, their solution is to call his 'older brother' who apparently they think is Red Hood himself.

    (Not Batcest)

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    11 Jan 2026

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    10/10. HOLY SHIIIIIII BRO WHY TF R UR WORKS ALWAYS SO FUCKINGGG GOOD< BRO?!?!?!
    I, AGAIN, laughed so fucking hard but ESPECIALLY at the one scene where Bruce goes "Jason?" like the classic "Jason?" used in every godamn fic and I couldnt stop laughing my ass off this timr cuz YES bro thats your dead- except- apparently NOT- dead,- supposed to be dead- maybe zombie-son, why would THAT be weird, at like, all. chat?

    { bossman’s number one rule. Most important, numero uno, the gold above golden. No one on his turf hurts kids.”

    Robin stared at the hardened criminal for a long moment. “Red Hood… protects kids?”

    “I thought you bats were supposed to be smart . Yeah, he protects kids.”

    “And… I’m one of those kids.”

    “Obviously, shrimpy. You should hear his rants about it. He fucking hates Batman because he’s endangering you.”

    Robin curled his nose. “Yeah… I don’t really believe that. Red Hood was the one who nearly shot me last week.”

    The man scoffed. “No he didn’t.”

    Robin plucked up his cape, showing off the neatly mended hole in the nearly bullet proof material. “Uh yeah, he did.”

    The goon stared at it for a moment, then shook his head. “Nah. He wasn’t aiming at you.”

    “There’s a bullet hole in my cape! ”

    “Exactly!” Robin bared his teeth while the goon radiated smug satisfaction. “Kid, the bossman doesn’t miss. If he was aiming at you, he woulda hit you. He didn’t. He was aiming at your cape.”

    Robin scoffed. “Right… to what, scare me off?”

    “Probably. Anyway, I gotta go. Can’t be late for the next meetup.”

    “Hey, hey!” Robin batted away the hand ruffling his hair, too distracted by the audacity to actually catch the man before he waltzed right out of range.} Im aorry but what was even going ON here, I was just laughing, bro. Like that guy DID NOT CARE.

     

    ALSO { “What the fuck was so important! It sounded like the fucking building was burning down or being raided. Don’t give me that bullshit about ‘my brother’ needs me. I don’t have a god damned brother!”} Is hilarous hes lit like trying to tell everyone for the last time, HES AN ONLY CHILD, and everyones like NOT WITH THAT ATTUTIUDE. and its making me shit myself laughing.

    These arent even the funniest moments. PLEASE RE-read future me.

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    Tim figured that since he was banned from basically everything Robin due to the new menace known as Red Hood, that heading to Titan's Tower and indulging some old photography habits would at least keep him entertained. He certainly wasn't expecting someone to break into Titan's Tower. He most definitely wasn't expecting that someone to be Red Hood and maybe the most surprising of all... he was not expecting Red Hood to apparently know him. Well... to know the night time bird photography Alvin Draper anyway but all things considered, he was willing to roll with it.

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    11 Jan 2026

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    10/10, laughed my fucking ass off. I was snickering and giggling like crazy, CUZ HOLY SHIT, I FUCKING LOVED THIS SHIT SO MUCH, ITS NOW ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVS?!

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    Jason Todd is too young to be the father of a 12 year old boy.

    But life has a way of blowing shit up when you least expected it.

    OR;

    Jason Todd busts a human trafficking ring and somehow gets a kid out of it. This 'fathering' shit has to be easy, right?

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    04 Jan 2026

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    9/10, BROO I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH, MAN?!?!

    I WAS LMAO SO MUCH DURING THIS I LOVED IT A LOT!!! This was from Jasons POV but still heavily focused on Tim, or more so, Tim and his relationship.
    Like

    (“Who is here with you?” He questioned, eyes flickering up to Jason. Jason’s eye twitched in annoyance before he managed to force a small smile.

    “That’s my dad!” Tim beamed. Jason nearly choked on his own tongue. Tim hadn’t called him dad yet, at least not to Jason’s knowledge. He had never wanted to push, not wanting to make Tim uncomfortable. Even if Tim’s parents had been absent, he wasn’t trying to replace them. Damian, for his part, also looked like he’d been punched. His face contorted into every emotion possible before he managed to reply.

    “Your father, I see. Well-” he paused.)

    that scene made me laugh so hard, and

    { “So… Let’s talk,” Jason said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

    “I already know how sex works-” Tim spat out quickly. The two of them looked at each other before Jason’s brain caught up with his words.

    “Fuck! I’m not giving you the sex talk, oh my god!” Jason choked out. Tim had flushed red, nodding a bit.}

    I was DYINGGGGG.

    this was overall, pretty good, though I do wish we got to see Tim and the rest of the bats interact, also wheres Duke and Cass?
    I also have other questions like, does Tims age affect YJ age too? Are the others younger as well? (not that it would even matter to much with this story considering there not part of it)

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    Static buzzed in Tim’s ears as the ceremony began. A pale woman with a slender frame and short ebony hair slinked towards the stage, waving happily to the audience.

    “Welcome! Welcome! To the 74th Annual Hunger Games!” The capitol woman chuckled merrily. “This is gonna be such fun! I look forward to another entertaining year!”

     

    SLOW UPDATES, BUT I DO PLAN ON FINISHING THIS!🫡

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    03 Jan 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    8/10, I LOVEE IT, its not done though. Im on ch 20, the last updated one.

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    “I talked to Kolivan, like you said,” Keith whispers. “Uh, turns out we were both wrong. Apparently I’m going through Galra puberty, and presenting as a —“ he makes a face — “as an alpha.”

    Lance blinks. “An alpha? Like a… wolf?”

    “Kind of?” Keith huffs miserably. “It’s sign of sexual maturity, I guess. A secondary gender. Some present as alphas, some as betas, and some as omegas.”

    “Okay…” Lance says slowly, “so you’ve presented. How does being an alpha equate to you acting all bonkers?”

    Keith winces. Lord above, he wants to do anything but have this horrible conversation. “The whole point of the secondary genders is to mate, basically. Um.”

    Lance starts to grin, very clearly taking a good amount of pleasure in Keith’s misery, because he is the king of schadenfreude.

    “Oh, I see.”
    ---
    Galra puberty has some...unexpected side effects. Keith and Lance figure it out, though. That's what they do. (Even if Lance is a shit about it.)

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    03 Jan 2026

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    8/10, wish it was longer, BUT HOLY SHITTTTTTT, I LAUGHED MY ASSSS OFF AT THE AUTHORS COMMENTS CUZ WHATTTTTT?! THIS WAS FOR AN ASSIGMENT?! HOOLY SHITTTT, (come back and take a screenshot of the pic the author ineserted as proof)