stargrl_iv
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Neil swallows back blood. “Andrew.”
“Abram,” Andrew returns.
“I’m losing my mind. I think I’m losing my mind.”
“You aren’t,” Andrew says, so easy, so certain. “You’re tired. You’re scared. That’s it.”
Neil grits his teeth. “I’m,” he exhales shakily. “I’m – seeing things,” he admits.
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In which Andrew gets into a car accident one week into the off-season, and everything is fine right up until he starts dying every night in Neil’s dreams. Things get worse, and then they get better.
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Or, how trauma and triggers persist even after decades of safety, and how Andrew and Neil navigate them and take care of each other throughout it all.
Bookmarked by stargrl_iv
18 Dec 2025
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“Have you considered the possibility that Neil has chosen you, but believes you have not chosen him?” Renee says. "Have you ever explicitly told him what you want?”
“Neil knows what I want,” Andrew snaps. This is not Andrew’s fault.
“How do you know?”
Because Neil always knows. He is as fluent in Andrew’s micro-expressions as he is in German and French. He knows which head tilts mean “go on” and which ones mean “shut up.” Without ever asking, he learned what it meant to see Andrew wearing double layers of long sleeves, or taking multiple showers in a day, and learned to hand Andrew the car keys.
That has always been the most terrifying thing about Neil — his patience to wait, watch, listen, learn. The prospect that if Neil were given enough time, there would be no part of Andrew that was just Andrew’s anymore.
“He has to know,” Andrew says.
“Does he?” Renee says. “Have you ever known Neil to assume that he is wanted?”
Five times Neil tells someone that he and Andrew aren’t dating, and one time Andrew uses his words to set the record straight.
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Bookmarked by stargrl_iv
14 Dec 2025
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If You Need a Tourniquet or if You Wanna Turn and Quit by P234age
Fandoms: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
23 Nov 2025
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What if Neil's father caught up to him in Millport? What if Agent Browning had seen more of Nathaniel in Neil after Baltimore, and figured the FBI could use the help?
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Neil works for the FBI to hunt down the criminals they can’t catch, in return for staying out of jail after Baltimore. Agent Browning isn't all that good at his job, Matt just wants to be friends with his squirelly roommate, and Andrew is the first person Neil doesn't want to lie to.
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- English
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Bookmarked by stargrl_iv
26 Nov 2025
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Neil was a museum of everything he’d ever done, of things that he so desperately wanted to erase. A gun propped high on a mantlepiece, the crowd gathered round to see his fingerprints and blood smears. The animals he’d disembowelled, gruesome and unmade; the broken fingers he’d received, the handcuffs, the lighter, the axe. Bodies stacked high in a room so vast his footsteps echoed off the walls.
He was glass. They could see right through him.
“Relax, rabbit.”
Or
a boy found in the state he was lost in
Bookmarked by stargrl_iv
27 Oct 2025
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Nathaniel is out of the nest, but at what cost?
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“You can only put him back together and hope for it to heal. That is all we can do.” Jean said, meeting Abby’s tearful eyes.Abby nodded, picking up her own thread and following Jean’s lead.
Andrew dragged a chair from the corner of the room up to where Abram’s head was resting and tried not to watch. He didn’t succeed, but he could at least say he tried. As they threaded stitch after stitch through Abram’s skin, Andrew sat with his hands folded in his lap and followed Jean’s advice to breathe. Then, he began to plan.
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ORNeil is a Fox, Andrew is learning to let him in, and the Foxes have a Championship season to play.
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Sequel to Stranger to Stay. You MUST read STS before reading this!Series
- Part 2 of What It Means To Stand Still
Bookmarked by stargrl_iv
21 Oct 2025