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The white, bland walls blurred around the edge of his vision. So familiar with them he'd become over the past year, that he memorized every tile of the ceiling, every flower in the ugly boarder along the wall, and every speck of black in the design on the floor. He knew this room better than their old trailer, back on the island where they first met, so many and yet not enough years ago.
He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Thinking about the island was always a bad idea. The trailer was long gone. The raptors were long dead. Their lives there were just distant memories. Though those years had been some of the best of his life. He opened his eyes again and looked at the man on the bed across the room.
So small, so frail and feeble. Zach had never seen him like this. Never thought he ever would. He'd always been older. Zach knew this. Of course he did. The man was twice his age when they met. But... it just never registered in his head, that he would outlive Owen. His precious Owen. His light, his air, his whole world. How could fate be so cruel? Deliver Owen to him, just to take him away so soon? "This can't be it!" He whispered. "This can't be the end..."
Owen's eyes fluttered for a brief moment.
Zach stepped forward quickly and knelt down beside the bed. "Hey." He said softly, fighting back tears.
Owen's eyes opened slowly, just a squint. "Hey." He answered, breathing out loudly. He opened his eyes fully and blinked. For a moment, looking into those eyes, Zach could forget the sickness that ravaged his soul mate's body. For just a moment, those bright green eyes twinkled and Zach could get lost in them. Owen reached up, his arm moving slowly. He touched Zach's cheek and Zach leaned into it. Then his hand drug upward and he ran his fingers through Zach's hair. Zach's hair had started to pepper over the last year, probably more due to the stress than age. But then Owen grimaced in pain and pulled his hand away. He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath.
"Owen!" Zach leaned closer and grabbed Owen's retreating hand.
The man breathed in for a moment and then out. He opened his eyes again. "I take it... by your grave face..." He smiled at his choice of words, still ever the clown. "That it failed."
Zach blinked, tears in his eyes. "We'll try again, Owen. As many times as it takes!"
Owen smiled sadly and reached up again. He touched Zach's face and the younger man once again leaned into the touch. "We knew this was the last shot, Zach. There's nothing left."
Zach shook his head, tears sliding down his cheeks. "No! No, Owen! You can't give up!"
"It's not giving up." Owen said softly, breathing out. "It's... accepting... the inevitable."
Zach bowed his head as a full blown sob wracked him. He leaned his head on the edge of the hospital bed.
"Shhh." Owen crooned, lifting his hand to touch Zach's head. He gently ran his fingers through his short hair. "You're still young." Owen said softly. "You'll find someone else."
Zach lifted his head sharply, his eyes wide. "Someone else?" He snapped. "Owen, there will never be anyone else for me!" He leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. "You're it! You're my life! I will die without you!"
Owen smiled and shook his head. "Stop being so dramatic. You'll be fine without me."
Zach looked away and shook his head. "What about Ryan?"
Owen breathed out and waved his arm. "Ryan doesn't need me anymore."
Zach laughed sharply and shook his head. "We both need you!"
Owen shook his head again. "No you don't."
"Yes!" Zach wailed loudly, turning to look at him. "We need you! I need you! I will die!"
Owen rolled his eyes and sighed. "People can go their whole lives without meeting their soul mates." He said in an even voice. "Or they get divorced or break up and get with someone else. Or their soul mate is really an asshole and they run away."
"Not funny." Zach shook his head. "Don't care about other people." He mumbled. "I can't exist without you."
Owen shook his head. "Stop saying that."
"It's true!"
"People don't die when their soul mates do!" Owen snapped.
"Well..." Zach paused for a moment and crossed his arms defiantly. "I will!"
"No you won't!"
Zach looked away, his eyes narrowing into a glare. He knew it wasn't physically possible. He knew people didn't simply drop dead the moment their soul mates passed on. He just knew what he felt. He felt like he was going to die without Owen. He wasn't being dramatic. That was just what his heart was telling him. "I just... I just feel..." He sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair.
"Zach..." Owen said his name softly. "Look at me."
Zach lifted his eyes to meet Owen's.
Owen breathed in and out. "I love you so much..."
"So much it hurts..." Zach interrupted softly.
Owen smiled and nodded. "Since the day I met you... I knew you were special. I knew there was something about you..."
Zach sniffed and looked down at the bed. "Took you five years to admit it."
Owen rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I'm trying to be sentimental, here."
The corner of Zach's mouth twitched up in the tiniest of smiles. "Sorry."
Owen was silent for a moment before he continued. "My life started that day." He said with a smile. "And I haven't regretted a single moment. Not a single one! You hear me?"
Zach closed his eyes and nodded. "Me neither." He said softly.
"Well..." Owen paused and looked away for a moment. "Maybe one..."
Zach opened his eyes and frowned.
"I wish... you'd been older... and we coulda met when I was younger. Coulda had more time."
Zach sniffed again and nodded. "Wasn't enough. I need more."
Owen reached for him again. He tried to pull Zach down with him, but he was too weak. Zach pushed up for a moment. Then he laid down on the edge of the bed. He tucked his head against Owen's chest and closed his eyes. Owen breathed in deeply and wrapped his arms around Zach. Owen held him tightly and sighed. "We're always gonna want more time."