Chapter Text
They appeared in the war room and the first thing she noticed was that her papers had been rifled. Who had been going through her work? Had it been Illidan who had made a mess of her plans? She had hoped not- for if it had he would have seen her failures strewn across the table-her lack of progress in planning their next strike, the letters from the other commanders across Argus she had been hiding, and, more to her embarrassment than anything else, her supreme lack of organization.
Turning back to him she noticed Illidan still had a snarl on his face and the look he pierced her with spoke absolute rage. His eyes blazed bright emerald and he still had not let go of his harsh grip on her wrist. The bruise she would have would take only moments to heal by any healer , but that fact did not make it any less painful in the moment.
“Explain yourself, Illidari!” his voice was low and lethal , and the sound of it made her take a single step back.
Her natural heightened elven instincts were internally screaming ‘danger! Threat!’ at her , sending her automatically on high alert and telling her retreat was safer. Yet, counter to that the demon inside her whispered for her to defend herself, to strike Illidan down, that she could be the leader of the Illidari if she did.
Larienel did her best to ignore her inner demon, mentally braced herself, and spoke to her Lord in a calm logical tone as if she were simply explaining tactics to one of her soldiers. She would not show him fear , though certainly he would be able to sense it if he were paying attention ; such was his connection with his Illidari.
“My lord, I know what I did was wrong but my reasons were justified. My actions have relieved two people from their torments. It is true that I did not ask your permission to leave , nor did I wait to be cleared for release, and I will accept whatever punishment you deem fit, but allow me to explain myself first: I did do this for Kisei, but—”
He interrupted her “The only reason the Tauren is still breathing is because he came to me to report your idiocy.”
She frowned at that but continued on “I did this for him , but it was not my only motivation, my Lord.”
Illidan's grip lightened a fraction and he tilted his head a skeptical brow raised, “Continue”
“I did this as repayment to him, yes, but, I also did two very important things for our cause- although the second did not present itself until I flew over Val’ Sharah. My first motivation was to diffuse the rising tension between Kisei and the Illidari. Since the relations you have with him are...strained... I sought to mend that. I had not forgotten that Kisei had threatened that if you kept angering him , he would ensure that no one would heal the Illidari. Think of what would become of your plans if your entire army could not be healed? I did do this favour to him out of gratitude , but it also ensured he will not present a problem for us in the future.
My second reason had to do with the demon- though as I said , I had not made that decision until I saw first hand the devastation and corruption he brought upon Val’ Sharah. Once the demon began talking , he revealed that I had a personal connection to him…”
Larienel paused. She considered how much to tell him about her past. And yet, she knew the time for hiding details was long past, only full disclosure would potentially mitigate his wrath.
“Before I joined the Illidari, I was a priestess of Elune , ” she paused when his face did not reflect surprise. She had been unaware of his presence during her fight, and did not know that he had already heard everything. She continued on , “My temple was destroyed by that demon, and I saw a chance to seize revenge as well as eliminate a potential threat. He was a powerful foe , and if Sargeras had called him here to fight us it would not have boded well for our success. He would have potentially organized the demons into a greater threat than they already posed. I chose to eliminate that threat.”
She thought if she could rationalize her actions to him that he may see how strong her conviction in what she did was, and he would acknowledge that fact. She was wrong.
Though his face did not show it, he was surprised. He had no idea that her motivations ran deeper than just repaying a debt. Perhaps he should have had more faith in his Lieutenant. Though she had left without permission , she had still followed her primary mission at all times-to serve the cause of the Illidari. Still, she needed to be rebuked. She did not see the damage she could have caused.
“Do you believe that I should accept your apology simply because you had good intentions? You will not get off that easily, Lieutenant . Your actions were not only irresponsible but they could have been dangerous-not only for you but for us all. If you had been slain, where would that leave us? Yes, your spirit would eventually reunite with your body and you would live again, but I have already sacrificed enough time against the Legion because of your actions on this ship and I will sacrifice no more!”
Despite his anger , she still attempted a defense of her actions “My mission only took two days, master...the set back to our cause was not that great.”
“Your mission ? You have no missions other than the ones I give to you. You sacrificed a life of freedom when you came to me at the Black Temple. This was not something you were unaware of. And you, Lieutenant, specifically have less freedom than most. You are my strategist: you are privy to all my plans, my numbers, the names of individuals of power in my army. Did you not think of that when you took your excursion?”
She frowned. She had been frightened of him at first, and in truth she still was, but now she was beginning to get agitated. She was part of his army but she was not his property.
Unfortunately she had no moral high ground here-he was in the right-everything he had said about her responsibilities and the military intelligence she held were true ; she could not fight him on that. However, she would not allow him to speak to her as if she were a pet that had misbehaved.
Her tone when she responded was not as submissive as it should have been , given the circumstances. It was irritated and offended, “What you say is true , but I am not your property. I chose to seek you out in Outland. That was my choice. You may be my Lord , but I am not an ignorant minion that you can simply frighten into submission.”
He was truly furious at her absolute arrogance , “You may not be my personal retainer, Illidari, but you are serving in my army and you will obey me. You will be loyal to me. Was this ever unclear to you? Do you need a reminder?” His grip on her wrist tightened once more and she flinched in pain, but to his irritation and rage , she continued to look him in the eye.
The look in her eyes as she met his was so fierce and intense that he could practically feel the tension between them.
“A servant in your army I may be,’ she immediately bit back “but I am not your slave, and I will not be treated as such Illidan Stormrage.”
She waited for the hammer to fall, for him to make good on his threat to give her that reminder he had just threatened. Elune help her she had used her lord’s given name. She had never dared to speak to him without some form of deference. Not only had she just openly disrespected him, but she had done it while he was already berating her for her lack of obedience. Surely he would be furious .
Instead of fury though what she saw was...an amused smirk? She didn’t know if that look would bode well for her or not, but before she had a chance to retract what she had said his lips were on hers.
His kiss was forceful. He had let her wrist drop , and his hands were on either side of her face. She was too stunned to think as Illidan continued kissing her. So stunned was she that she attempted to step backwards out of the embrace, but he stepped with her. This continued until her back was against the wall-it seemed he had no intention of letting her go. And yet, as shocked as she was, it still felt...right.She had felt trapped and afraid just moments ago but now she felt warm. She let the tension in her body go and returned his kiss.
He was not expecting her to kiss him back. He was not expecting, well, anything. Did this mean that she had felt the same pull that he was feeling right now?
She felt him tense for just a moment, as if he were surprised, but then his hands were in her hair and the kiss deepened. It was if neither one of them could stop. When one would move away, the other moved in. And yet, as the adage goes, the brightest flames burn the quickest. Abruptly, Illidan broke the embrace, and wordlessly left her alone slamming the door upon his exit. She slid to the floor, her back against the cold steel wall. What in the Goddess' name had just happened?
***************************************************************************************************
Damn her, he thought as he stormed out of the room. Damn her, and damn himself for being so weak, but Elune she was a firebrand; his Lieutenant. She hadn’t even given a second thought to her own safety as she had fought with him. For he could have effortlessly destroyed her with a gesture of his hand and the utterance of a few words of magic- surely she had known this, yet she didn’t care-she cared only for what she believed was right.
Still, he admired the fact that she had had the humility to acknowledge her mistake despite her foolish defense; and she had willingly come back to face her punishment. Though she had left without permission , she had never forgotten her purpose as an Illidari , and she had done him a service that even he had not thought of. She was indeed worthy of her position as his Lieutenant, and it seemed she was becoming quite a worthy verbal opponent too , he noted with a bit of humour.
By the Goddess , she was at her most beautiful when she was defending her ideals. Her face had been flushed with anger, strands of her long black hair fell into her face, and her defiant stance when she spoke his given name. Mother Moon he had needed to kiss her right then . What was it about her? Had it been anyone else, the punishment they would have suffered for such an affront would have been brutal, but she fascinated him. She was dangerous.
If her allure had been only physical , he could have easily brushed it off just as he had done many times before in the past, but something about her called to him. She rarely left his mind. It was infuriating .
He had resisted many temptations throughout his long life, but she was the only one that sang to him the way that both power and the arcane had done. He had utterly failed at resisting either of those and he had now failed at resisting her. Though he was disappointed at his own lack of will he was not as upset at that as he thought he likely should be.
*************************************************************************************************
Larienel stood up and walked over to the war table and let herself fall into a seat. What on Azeroth had happened? Had they not just been arguing? She had been yelling at him about how he treated her and then he had kissed her? What was going on? She had wanted to punch his arrogant face when they were arguing, but instead she had...kissed him back?
The kiss had been rough at first. By the suddenness of it , she had the impression that his action may have even surprised himself, but he had not backed down or pulled away , so she could only assume that he did not regret it.
It had felt good to be pressed against him like that, and by the Goddess he was good at what he was doing. Had they just been caught up in a moment of passion? To the void with it, let it be a mistake it was a very nice one.
She shook her head and concentrated on the papers in front of her. It had been so long since she had seen these papers, her papers. She took in a breath of air and let it back out to focus herself. She was going to push the kiss out of her mind and concentrate on the work she had been forced to neglect during her recovery. When next she saw him, she would have her plans completed and ready for his approval.
**************************************************************************************************
Illidan entered his quarters. He needed to think. He did not regret the kiss , he only regretted the foolish way he had gone about it. Since his infatuation with her had began , he had never fully made up his mind whether he was going to act on his emotions towards her or not, and yet today it seemed his body had made that decision for him. Traitor.
The damage had been done, but there were options. He could easily pretend as if it had never happened, but a coward he was not. If he could survive multiple encounters with Kil’Jaeden , he could certainly handle having a discussion about a kiss. The second option would be for him to simply explain to her what had happened-he had been consumed by the moment and he had kissed her. That was, after all, the truth. It just wasn’t the entire truth. There was also the obvious option tell her the complete truth, but that option held the possibility of rejection.
Rejection was something that had followed him his entire life. Here he was at the end of everything he had ever worked for, his every thought and every decision he had made in his life had lead him here, to Argus, on this ship making preparations for his final battle against Sargeras. If she turned him away how would that affect his performance here when he was finally at the finish line? He remembered the devastation and pain he had felt when Tyrande had rejected him so many millennia ago.
He paused. What if she did not reject him? What if she confessed she had similar feelings? How would that affect his performance if he then had her safety and her feelings to worry about as well? Was it fair to her for him to pursue a romantic entanglement just for him to have to leave her in the end? For he was certain he would not survive the final encounter with the Titan. Perhaps not, but was it fair for the Goddess to present him with the possibility of love this close to the end? He was going to save Azeroth, he was going to free them all from the demons, and yet the Goddess still mocked him, still tested him. For what purpose? Was he truly doomed to suffer until his final breath? Was he honestly not meant to have this small bit of happiness?
He stopped his pacing in the middle of his room and flung the door open with a defiant laugh-his mind was made up. It did not matter what he was ‘meant’ or ‘destined’ to have. His life was his own to control , Goddess be damned, and, if Larienel wanted him in return, he would make her his.
********************************************************************
She stared at the papers in front of her, but all she could focus on was how it had felt to be held against his chest. Even if it had been simply a moment of passion and nothing more , that didn’t discount the fact that he had to be attracted to her for him to have wanted to kiss her like that with such intensity. She had been defiant towards him much too often lately and yet somehow he was attracted to her? How? When?
Was she attracted to him though? On a physical level, just like many women, she, admittedly, did find him attractive- for Illidan had never had any shortage of willing blood and night elven women had he ever been inclined, but was her attraction to him more than just physical? Was it also emotional ? She had never given it much, if any, thought before. She had no choice but to ponder it now though. She reminisced on her recent interactions with him.
She remembered how excited she had been when she discovered she would be personally training with Illidan, but why? She had fought next to him before on the battlefield so it wasn’t that. She supposed that subconsciously it was something to do with the intimacy of a closed training session- the two of them together alone- all of his attention focused on her. She mentally waved that one away; he was her master. Of course she would be excited to train with him.
What about when he had come to visit her multiple times during her recovery? When he had... wait . Oh. Oh. That moment...that moment when he had given her the glaives, and he had spoken to her softly, had touched her face, had pledged to help find her a cure. That must have been it- when he had caressed her cheek so tenderly and had spoken to her about allegiances. That moment, it seemed had changed everything between them. She remembered how she had leaned into his hand, eyes closed, returning his affections without a second thought.
Since that moment she had wanted him and she hadn’t even acknowledged it-at least consciously. This would explain why every time she had heard hooves on metal in the infirmary , her heart had skipped a beat and excitement would well up in her, it would explain why she had felt such disappointment when he had only sent a note of thanks to Kisei instead of coming to see her personally when she was healed. It would also explain why she had so willingly gone back with him when he came for her in Val’ Sharah despite knowing that she would be in for a severe dressing down. Though her coming back had never been in question-she had always fully intended to face her punishment head on it was simply the eagerness in which she seemed to want to return that gave it away.
She let out a frustrated sigh. Now that she had discovered her own feelings what did that mean ? She was unsure how he felt other than an obvious physical attraction. Her rank put her in an impossible situation-she was integral in her masters success, and thus could not let her emotions affect her duties. She could let nothing show. She would not confess her feelings. At least not now. If she chose to go through with this she would wait until their mission on Argus was complete and the Legion had been defeated. Shaking her head of such thoughts she looked back down at her papers. There were more important matters to attend to.
*********************************************************************************************************
Heading back towards the war room Illidan already had a plan in mind, for, he was never without a plan. He would be honest about his attraction to her, and then she would either accept him or reject him. Of course he would be disappointed if she rejected him-though if she did dismiss him this would be nothing new. It would just be confirmation that Elune wanted him nowhere near her daughters.
He frowned at the similarities between his Lieutenant and Tyrande. They were both daughters of the Goddess, they were both opinionated, both were formidable foes on the battlefield, and they were both stubborn as an Ox.
Illidan stopped in his tracks. There were too many similarities, and he had no desire to treat Larienel as a replacement for the woman he could not have. Had he been unconsciously attracted to her this entire time simply because she shares several qualities with Tyrande?
He continued forward towards the war room dispelling such thoughts from his head. He had more depth to him than that. The things that drew him to Larienel did have similarities to what had drawn him to Tyrande, but, he realised, those similarities were simply what he found attractive in a potential mate-independence, complete dedication to a set of ideals, intelligence, and powerful. It was those traits that were attractive to him. Tyrande did not have a monopoly on personality-she was not the only woman on Azeroth to have those traits. His Lieutenant was proof that she was her own elf ; she was not Tyrande.
He had no idea how many restless hours he had been pacing in his quarters, replaying the kiss in his mind trying to decide their fate, but standing in front of the door to the war room it ended now one way or another.
Opening the door to the room he saw her there at the table, a grin on her face. He knew that look well-it seemed she'd had a breakthrough in his absence.
“Lieutenant-” he called to get her attention but as she turned, the look on her face silenced him.
She stood up from the table upon hearing his voice , and turned toward him. His determined look stopped her in her tracks before she could say a word, yet she still approached him, and as she stepped into his personal space , it was if time stopped.
Their gazes met and they both knew at that moment the others thoughts. They wanted each other. No words were needed as she took one final step between them and his arms were around her. The embrace was silent but it was tender.
There had been no need for words. It was clear she had felt the pull just as he had and now it was confirmed. For once he didn’t bother to stop the smile as it slowly formed on his face. For once he didn’t have to. He pressed an affectionate kiss to the top of his Lieutenants head and was a bit startled to hear a giggle emanate from beneath him.
She twisted in his embrace so that she could see his face and her huge grin was back. “Lord Illidan, I have finished my tactical analysis! Allow me to debrief you,” she said in a rush of excited words walking over to the table eager to show off her completed plans.
He allowed himself a laugh at his Lieutenant’s enthusiasm. He had been foolish to believe a relationship with her would disrupt anything. She was equally as dedicated to this cause as he was.
Their feelings out in the open and dealt with it was back to business , and he wouldn’t have her any other way he mused with a gentle hand on her back while she explained her tactics to him at top speed such was her excitement.
He nodded approvingly as she finished detailing her strike to him “The demons will not expect this. Your plan will deal a great blow to their forces. Assemble the troops for debriefing and we will strike tonight.”
He stood and she stopped him a serious look crossing her features. “Lord Illidan, the matter of my transgression still exists.”
He nodded with a slight smile on his face “It does indeed, Lieutenant.”
“I want this new...development between us to change nothing. I still ask for my punishment, my Lord.”
Illidan grinned wide, amusement clear on his features “You presume that I would have granted you leniency?”
Larienel paused. It seemed he already had a plan in mind.
“No I suppose not…” she responded with some trepidation, and the smirk that was still on his face told her that she was right that he did indeed have a plan and that she was correct to be wary of it.