Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

From where you were perched on the bed, you could just make out Kryton and Camille’s forms as the made their way down the corridor. Camille moving swiftly and Kryton with his strange walk. Your mind felt fuzzy after that confrontation, but then again, you weren’t alone.

“Unbelievable,” You heard cat say above your head.

“Wha’?” Lister asked tiredly, next to you on the bottom bunk.

“He’s still going on that date…with that. He’s safer taking a piece of broccoli out, at least the broccoli won’t break his heart,” The cat sighed, swinging down and dusting his zebra striped suit.

“She won’t break his heart, Cat,” You sigh, rolling back on the bed, Cat simply scoffed, “Didn’t realise you knew what broccoli was,” You muttered under your breath, loud enough to see a glimpse of a smile on Lister’s face.

“Sure she will,” He said before turning up the collar of his jacket, “It’s Kryton were talking about here.” Cat spun on his heels and continued to swagger off down the corridor. You watched him go, yowling and dancing like a mad-man.

“She won’t break his heart, right?” You turn to Lister, who appeared to be in deep thought.

“Well, she already has, hasn’t she? By not being a…you know…female Kryton. I don’t think she can break his heart twice, epically since he doesn’t technically have one,” He answered, standing up and taking a beer out of the fridge. Following him with your eyes your caught sight of Rimmer, standing by the table and absent-mindedly shuffling the papers on top and re-shuffling them, again and again.

“What do you think smeg-head?” You asked, a trace of a smirk on your lips as you looked up at him, catching his attention. He abruptly stopped shuffling and turned around, looking high in the air.

“If Kryton wants to take an amorphous green blob for a discreet tetas tentacle,” He paused, staring straight at him, “I say good luck to him,” He said shaking off the subject and completly ignoring your insult.

“Me too,” Lister piped up, “I mean we all reacted differently didn’t we. I guess if we were Kryton we’d be doing the same thing,” He sat back down on the bed, slurping at his beer.

“Not me,” You piped up with a smirk, “I didn’t see a thing until Camille turned into…well…a green blob,”

“What really?” Rimmer raised an eyebrow at you.

“Yeah, I mean, for the entire time she was here. I was down fixing B-deck after the attack last week. But when you guys called me up here I didn’t see anyone at all,” You shrugged, getting a beer yourself, being the only qualified engineer on board has its ups and downs.

“So, you saw…nothing?” Rimmer once again raised an eyebrow, speaking in the same voice he always got when he was confused.

“No,” You answered popping open the can and ignoring the foam the spat out onto you. “But, now I know what all your desirables are,” You smirked leaning back into the fridge.

“How could you possibly know that? You didn’t see her,” Rimmer commented.

“I still know what they are. For you Listy, you had a girl, like yourself really. But to be honest you’d take anything at this stag. Rimmer, you had a hologram that takes a deep interest in telegraph poles, just like you, god knows why though. Cat…well…he had himself and Kryton had a 4000 series GTI,” You smirked, “You know, it’s quite pathetic how easy all of you are bought,”

“Easy?” Rimmer smirked, “It takes much more than being a female hologram to get my motors running,”

“Rimmer,” You said, trying to cover the small smile now playing on your lips, “It’s been three million years since you last made love to a woman. Hell, it’s been three million years since you’ve touched one. Do you seriously expect me to believe, that to be your number one desirable, you need more than a working pair of ovaries,” You state with a grin, moving past Rimmer to go sit down on the bed.

“What? Jealous?” Rimmer followed close behind as you went.

“Jealous, you’ve got to be joking you, git,” You snorted.

“Ah, don’t try and hide it Y/N, you’re jealous aren’t you,” Rimmer smirked again walking away from you. “It’s perfectly normal for someone like you to become…starstruck by the likings of…well…someone like me,”

“Rimmer, what would she be jealous of? The fact that she is not the most desirable of a gutless, spineless, gormless, directionless, neurotic, underachieving, snivelling, cowardly pile of smeg?” Lister asked, before taking a swig of his beer. Looking up at Rimmer, you noticed that he was wearing that small smile he always gets when he’s being insulted.

“He’s right you know,” You added, “There is nothing to be jealous of,” You roll your eyes.

“Fine,” He said smugly, “Whatever you say,” He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.

“No, really, there’s nothing,” You persisted.

“Sure Y/N, sure,” He smirked again. That smug git.

“Yeah,” You said curtly before leaning over and pointing a finger right in his face, “I just hope we get a male blob so I can find out who my most desirable is. And let me tell you this…he will be the most buff, intelligent, handsome, clever, smart, funny, beautiful man that ever lived…and then we’ll see who’s actually jealous.

You were heading back down to B-deck, your tool box nosily rattling by your side, you had decided to spend the rest of your night finishing your work, at least it would get it out of the way. With the combined noise of your banging tool box and your tinkling tool belt, you almost missed the thumping of footsteps running towards you. Turning around you found Lister sprinting down the corridor arms flailing at his sides, a frantic look on his face.

“Come on, male blob, Camille’s husband, let’s go,” He gasped, pausing briefly by your side to grab your wrist and start dragging you in the opposite direction. The two of you lurched through the endless corridors of Red Dwarf, making your way up and up until you skidding to a halt in one of the landing bays where Cat, Kryton, the female blob and Rimmer were stood waiting.

“So, what’s this about a male blob?” You asked, trying to regain some breath in your body. Looking at them they appeared just as excited as you were.

“Well,” Cat began turning to his left where Camille and Rimmer were stood, “What do you see?” He said, his voice in question.

“I don’t see anyone,” You said to Cat, confused, the blob wasn’t here yet.

“Why Miss Y/N, what could you mean, he’s standing right here,” Kryton said gesturing, blindly to where Rimmer and Camille were standing. It took a few seconds of confused staring in akward silence before you picked up on something. Rimmer’s H…Rimmer’s H was gone. But how could that be? In the short space of time you left to pick up a coffee and your tool box, had Rimmer come back to life? Unless…unless if that…if that wasn’t Rimmer after all.

“Oh!” You said, staring at the…alive Rimmer.

“Well, what do you see?” Lister asked excitedly, it was just then that the real Rimmer, H as clear as a moon on his forehead, walked in.

“I heard all the fuss, what’s going on,” He asked as he stepped into the room, standing right next to the fake Rimmer.

“We’re just asking what Y/N see’s when she looks at a male blob,” Lister said excitedly. Rimmer stared at Lister for a moment, confusion laced within his features before looking around the room, even though he knew that he wouldn’t be able to see this male blob. Eventually you met his gaze, and you couldn’t help but notice the touch of sadness in his eyes, or was that always there?

“Well, what do you see?” You hurriedly glanced between the two, shocked at your own feelings, annoyed that you weren’t able to win one back against Rimmer. What were you going to say? What could you possibly say? You can’t tell the truth, not now with everyone, maybe…not ever. That’s it then, you’re going to have to lie.

“Like I said earlier. Super hot. Super sexy. Super everything really,” You said coolly, meanwhile, the inners of your mind felt as if they were going to burst, “But, what I don’t understand is, how this is Camille’s husband?”

After that you were filled in on her story and even stayed to watch as Camille and her husband, Hector, left Red Dwarf and disappeared into the endless sight of space. Then you and the crew slowly retired back to Rimmer and Lister’s room, after all, it had been a particularly long and confusing day.

“Well that was an interesting day,” Kryton summed up as you all sat together, beer’s in hand.

“You can say that again,” Lister sighed staring up, “For a second there I actually thought that there was another human in the world, another alive human, who was a beautiful girl and was everything I could dream of…I should have probably realised it was too good to be true,” He sighed, emptying half his can.

“Oh, cheer-up Listy,” You smiled, “Remember, one day, you’re going to marry Kochanski and have two twin boys, and how amazing will that be,” You said happily, feeling a lot better after a few beers in your system, you were now trying to forget the whole situation with blob and Rimmer, just for now.

The five of you stayed up late that night. All of you (except Kryton and Rimmer, who couldn’t) drinking, and all of you telling jokes and stories. It was one of those nights, where everything appeared to be blissfully good, where the happiness was like a deep stillness within you.

Eventually, people began dropping off around the 1 am mark, Listy was first, then Cat, then Kryton got up and attached himself to his charging plug leaving you and Rimmer, by which point, you were so beyond pissed you couldn’t even get up to make your way back to your own sleeping quaters. As the night wore on, it became harder and harder to push the image of an alive Rimmer out of your mind. You were sitting so close to him, so close that you could feel the pulsing of his light, you were so aware of everything that he was doing, even though he probably didn’t recognise what was stirring within your chest, and he never would.

“Hey, hey, Rimsy,” You chuckled.

“What?” He asked, his smug, arrogant, bastard-like exterior worn down by the fun of the night.

“It really sucks that your dream desirable, is a hologram,” You sighed, wanting to lean your head on his shoulder, but being aware that there was nothing for you to lay your head on.

“It is?” He uttered, his brows furrowed in confusion. Oh Rimmer.

“Yes. Really, really sucks because…because guess what? My desirable is you,” The words flowed out of your mouth without thought like they do when your drunk. Silence crashed down abruptly on the night, leaving you and Rimmer sitting there, blanketed by your own awkwardness. You were torn between feeling shocked and mortified, but you were defiantly somewhere in that zone. Rimmer paused, visibly stiffing up, not insane considering that the majority of his life has been filled with sick jokes and vile pranks. “Oh god, Rimmer, I’m so sorry,” You said after the silence became too unbearable, you shouldn’t have said that, you really shouldn’t have said that. You began to stumble to your feet, trying to be quite as the others slept. Rimmer paused before scrambling up after you.

“What, no, why?” He began causing you to turn around in your tracks, he sounded…desperate.

“Because,” You breathed quietly folding your arms over your chest and not meeting his gaze. Then after a few moments, you raised your hand and slowly ran it through Rimmer’s hologram where he flicked but didn’t move. You watched as your hand simply travelled through him, not feeling anything more or less but a cool chill prickle across your skin. Eventually, you raised your gaze to his, he looked so sad, “Rimmer, I’m sorry but…”

“Would you really let that stop you?” He asked catching you off-guard.

“Rimmer…” You breathed. You’d thought about having this conversation before, sometimes it would catch you off guard, sometimes you’d dwell on the idea for days, running it over and over in your mind. And now, now you wanted nothing more than to clamber into your bed and dream it away.

“Would you?” He asked again, you paused staring at him, you’d never seen him like this before, “Because that’s a pretty unfair judgment,” He said simply.

“It’s not a judgment Rimmer,” You whispered stepping closer to him, “It’s being smart. The only way this would end is in heartbreak…it’s so easy for me to die and so easy for you to die-out,”

“It’s still unfair,” He continued.

“On who?”

“Me.”

“How?”

“You haven’t given me a chance,” He said softly. It was weird seeing him like this.

“Rimmer…” You were struggling for words. It was like being the thirstiest you’d ever been in your life and trying to turn away a tall glass of water.

“Give me a chance,” He stated, “I promise…I promise I won’t let you down,”

“And, chances of heartbreak and death and separation…what about those,” You asked stepping so close so you could once again feel the slight thrum of his light.

“Risks worth taking,” He smiled. A genuine smile on his cute little face. You smiled giddily, unable to describe the immense happiness you felt, like a storm of contentment.

Chapter Text

To say that Y/N was rather respected in her field of work would be a massive understatement. Y/N had been working ever since she was twelve years old to achieve her dream job, she had spent her teenage years focused almost too much during school hours knowing that the grades she would achieve would take her one step closer to the looming doors of Jurassic World.

She graduated from school with honours and immediately enrolled in a research programme in Oxford, England where her name found its way into the mouths of some of the most respected biologists of this generation. She’d fall asleep under a thousand stars each night simply knowing and accepting that one day she would be able to work in the oversized theme park, even if it was as a cleaner.

After a few rollercoaster-like years of research that caused her to fall even more in love with the concept of dinosaurs, Y/N shuffled into her small apartment and collapsed in front of a pile of emails to find one bearing an emblem that was engraved in her mind, a far too familiar name staring at her through the screen. With an almost surreal feeling growing in her chest, she moved her mouse with quivering fingers to open it, revealing a one-way ticket to her dream job. A biologist working on the newest and latest addition to the park.

I think it’s safe to say that by the time that the sun rose the next day, almost every person that Y/N had ever found to be a friend, knew of the news, and Y/N had two dark circles under her eyes to prove it. So, a few weeks later, Y/N had her bags packed, her apartment sold, and her ticket paid for by Jurassic company itself. And then she was sitting in first class, a glass of champagne in hand, watching as the world drifted by her window thinking that she really could get used to this.

“I like your accent Y/N,” Owen smiled cheekily at you, God this boy was all pearly whites and soft dimples, “Where are you from?” He was now swinging a metal bucket over the edge, hooking it onto a peg that appeared to be worn down slightly.

“Y/H/T,” Y/N said nonchalantly as she peeked down her papers, trying to sound as relaxed as Owen was acting.

“Y/H/T,” Owen said, his brows furrowed slightly as a smile splashed on his face, “I’ve never been there,”

“I’m not surprised,” Y/N smiled up at him, not thinking for a second that her statement could be misjudged.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He laughed slightly as he walked along the metal ledge, Y/N following.

“Just, that…well, I don’t imagine you would get along very well with the people from my place…they’re not really football fans,” Y/N brushed it off, peering down the raptors and noting something down that wasn’t really that important.

“Football?” Owen almost choked as he sipped some water, “You think I like football?”

“What?” Y/N asked innocently, “You mean to tell me that you’re not the type of person to order a pizza, and drink a cold one with the boys whilst watching the game?” She found herself grinning.

“Oh, come on!” Owen laughed out loud as he threw another metal bucket over the side.

“So, you mean to tell me that’s not true?”

“Not…true, per-say,”

“How do you mean?”

“Well…” Owen trailed off, he now leaned casually against the metal barrier, a cloth in hand as he methodically rubbed away some dirt, “I do order far too much pizza, you got me there, but there’s only one boy and we drink high-class wine whilst watching tasteful movies,” The way Owen said the last part caused Y/N to lift an eyebrow ever so slightly, squinting her eyes as she did so. “Okay fine!” Owen sighed throwing his hands, and the cloth, in the air, “We don’t drink wine, we drink beer and lots of it, and we normally watch old episodes of friends…satisfied?” The words came out playfully as a smile curved at his lips, he was now rubbing a dark substance of his hands with a fresh cloth.

“Is there even a friend?” Y/N couldn’t help but ask, rolling along with the friendly vibes Owen was giving off.

“Yeah, Barry,” Owen said, short and sweet.

“Who’s Barry?” Y/N asked, her cheeks were beginning to hurt from smiling.

“Barry’s the one with the open shirt…see,” Owen said, walking over to her side of the ledge and leaning in close as he pointed down to the ground where a man stood with a baby blue shirt fluttering in the wind. He stared hands on hips, at something in the corner of the raptor’s cage. Y/N focused harshly on the rather beautiful man, her fingers wrapping tightly around her clipboard, focus on your job, ignore how close he is, take down notes.

“Why only him?” Y/N found herself asking, her throat now dry.

“Ah well,” Owen said, moving back slightly. Y/N both thanked the Gods and gave them the middle finger, “He’s the only person around here that isn’t all uptight about the dino’s, everyone else here sees them as numbers on a sheet I guess the biologist dicks find it easy to forget that they’re animals as they look like massive dollar signs with teeth.” Owen sighed, he was now leading Y/N down a set of stairs, giving her the perfect opportunity to marvel at the broadness of his shoulders. God woman, you’ve been gaping at dinosaurs since you were 7, not their trainers. “So, what are you doing here?” Owen’s snapped her back to reality.

“I guess I’m working as one of those biologist dicks,” She found herself saying swiftly, and made a mental note to pat herself on the back later for her cool and calm exterior.

“Oh,” Owen said, it wasn’t disappointed, but it wasn’t excited either.

“Yeah…I guess it would be a lot cooler if I said I was here to teach them how to tap dance,” Oh my God, what was she saying. Owen didn’t respond for a second that seemed to drag out into a minute, but then his laughter was filling the air and Y/N’s heart swelled just a little.

“Maybe hold off from that, tap dancing raptors would only get the jerks high up and even bigger boner,” He was smiling at her through the sun’s glare, his baby blues crinkled at the lines in his cheeks deepened into the grin.

Y/N followed Owen into a little office which appeared to almost be drowning in piles and piles of paper, she tried not to say anything, but I guess Owen could read her mind.

“Yeah, it’s a bit of a mess,” He sighed, scratching the back of his head, giving Y/N a perfect view of his toned arms.

“It’s fine,” She smiled picking her way over a few piles before collapsing in a wooden chair. Peering around her she spotted old photographs grouped together on his desk, surprisingly well looked after plants soaking up the scorching sun by the windows, old sketches of raptors on yellowing paper taped to the wall. It was messy, but it was clearly organised, piles of forms, piles of lists, piles of permission slips, dotted all around the room. However, one thing that did remain consistent through it all, was the overwhelming feeling of love. Love for the dinosaurs, found in the old picture books and mini figures, love for his family, sourced in the old photos and letters kept safe under a silver locket, love for living. I guess that’s the way you would describe Owen, he had a love for living.

“Really?” His voice cut through Y/N’s busy thoughts as she clawed to take in everything around her, but her eyes soon found their way back to his form. He stood tall and still, his white shirt almost blurring into the papery mess behind him, his hands perched on the bones of his hips, his browning arms almost glowing with sunlight they received on a daily basis. Again, like his office, there was something almost untidy about him, yet whole and worthy. He smiled softly at her once more, blue eyes melting into the tan skin, rosy lips poking through his soft beard.

“Yeah,” She smiled softly, “It’s perfect,”

Chapter Text

• A relationship with Emmett would be one of those ones where you simply end up melting into each other. You’re not quite sure how it started, maybe a conversation in class, a similar taste in subjects or a mutual friend, but before you know it you’re falling asleep in each other’s beds every other night, your collection of music and cd’s has blurred and soon you can’t remember what’s his and what’s yours, and quoting from the most recent movie you went to go see.
• Emmett would be a guy who is always touching you, not sexually though. You could be studying on your bed and every so often his hands would flicker over the small of your back, maybe his fingers would brush your hair out of your face or he would just trace the pattern of your shirt. It was just comforting to know that you were right there, under his fingertips.
• I don’t think?? Emmett would be one to get jealous??? I think he would have complete trust and faith in you, he would watch you laugh with your guys friends without a trace of envy his stare, he truly was happy if you were happy, even if that meant leaving you or letting you go with someone else.
• Continuing with the idea of you being happy. Emmett would go out of his way to make sure you’d have a good day, always through the smallest of things. He’d pick you up from school without asking, maybe buy you a coffee, by the time you got to lunch he’s already got what you wanted (using Edward to find out what you’re in the mood for).
• Emmett would somehow end up falling in love with all the things you love. Your favourite book? He’s already read it, 5 times. That album you always come back to? He’s got a copy of it next to his stereo. You have a hobby? Now you can do it together.
• I can imagine that something about being near each other is somehow comforting to the two of you. You could be reading in silence, but as long as you can see each other, life is good.
• Emmett is playful. You could be in PE and of course he’s out there laying waste to everyone else but if you’re watching, he’s flexing his muscles goofily, every so often throwing a ball at you to try and catch you out or even feigning an injury so he can sit on a bench near you and shout out cheesy cheers.
• Emmett is someone who doesn’t really get hung up on the whole vampire thing, no matter how bad he’s struggling, how much pain he’s in, he’s determined to push it to the side, so you can be together. But when it comes to new moon, and Edward is leaving Bella, he’s forced to come to terms with what you are and what he isn’t, he’s forced to be serious.
• PDA – Emmett has two PDA moods, 1 – to the freaking max, hands on your waste, fingers coiled in your hair, cool breath against your collar bones. I mean, damn, this boy cannot put you down (but will if you ask), this is the Emmett who is thinking to hard about anything, who is not craving blood that badly, Emmett who can focus on the positive. 2 – gentle Emmett, the soft brushes of fingertips on hips bones, intertwined hands, deep breaths of your hair. The Emmett who’s thinking of his future, who’s thinking of you and your wants/needs, the Emmett who’s in a little bit more pain than yesterday. But this is the Emmett that also comes out when it’s just the two of you, because no matter what anyone else sees or thinks, this is often the Emmett that is most vulnerable (though he would never say that).

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You potter around the small New York flat. The tug of the same routine you’ve been rehearsing for the last few months itching at your fingers. Study, eat, sleep. No time to think, no time to wonder, stay busy, stay together.

It had been what felt like years since the earth’s mightiest heroes had fought Thanos, years since half of the people at your school disappeared during 5^th period, years since Tony Stark himself had knocked on your door. But the day that you found out that your other half, your best friend, your lover had turned to dust just like the rest of them, was as fresh of a wound as any.

You hadn’t seen Mr Stark since, you hadn’t opened a newspaper and you hadn’t addressed the box of stuff that sat in the corner of your room, a box full of stuff which reminded you of him, a trigger. You spend one week exactly not knowing day from night, feeling the breathless mourning sit like a small bag of dry rice in your chest, finding yourself collapsed on the kitchen floor because you couldn’t make it back to your bed. And then, nothing.

You felt nothing, you did nothing, you wanted nothing. You stopped even thinking of his name, you threw yourself into your education and you never let yourself be alone, not if it could be helped. You told yourself that this was getting better, that this abundance of emotion was progress and you wished you could believe it.

The people around you, those closest, worried for you, but you wished they wouldn’t; you wished that like you, they would act like nothing had happened, like you had never even met him. They sat and watched as you moved like a ghost through your own home, folding blankets that had already been folded, making cups of tea and coffee for those who didn’t ask, organizing and re-organizing the contents of your fridge, over and over and over again. You stayed busy and you stayed broken.

Today was just another cross on the calendar. No one had come to visit you today, no daily check-up from your friends, no side-eye glances and pushed grins. You had already done all your homework and you had no exams coming up, so you spend the day in front of the TV watching as the flashing images and bright colours merged and mingled to bring life to the screen. Every so often, you’d mute it, just so you could focus on show after show, with your mind somewhere barren until eventually, your alarm went off, a reminder to eat dinner, and that’s when the doorbell went.

You had paused for a moment, feeling the weight of your arm as you went to turn the TV off, but soon, you were up and heading for the door, swinging it open with little caution.

And of course, there he was. His hair was the same length as before, the length at which he would always be complaining that he needed it cut. He was wearing a dark soft jumper, the collar of a checked shirt poking out of the top. Black pants. Brown shoes. Smiling. An idea of question laced within his features and yet, he was so him.

“Can I come in?” His mouth was moving out of time from the words, and you became aware of how far away his voice was mixed with the faint ringing in your ear. Your skin felt hot, too hot. His arm moved slightly towards you causing you to snap away from him like a broken bone, instinct. His face recoiled in pain as his arm pulled back slightly. No, no, no.

“Look, I-I know this might be a bit of a shock,” He was holding his hands out now, as if he was surrendering. No, please. “But please, I can explain, I promise,”

“No,” The word was but a breath, so of course you were surprised when he heard it.

“No?” His voice, his beautiful voice, rolling from his tongue like stuttering silk. In that moment a million memories roared in your brain.

“I’m sorry…” You were shaking now, your eyes snapping to everywhere but him, “I’m sorry, I can’t- I can’t…” I don’t want you to see me cry, you were never supposed to see me cry. He was shaking his head, his mouth open, ready to speak, ready to explain. “Please…” You hummed, clutching onto the door to stay upright.

“Go away,”

And then the door was closed, and you were left with the image of Peter Parker staring at you with desperate eyes, begging you to let him come in and explain, so you could understand. But the thing is, you already did. One way or another, earth’s mightiest heroes had brought you back Peter, and yet how can you look at him ever again without seeing the tears fought back in Tony’s eyes, the bittersweet perfect grades on your report, or how about yourself in that first week that he was pronounced dead, crumpled on the kitchen floor.

Will he ever find out what losing him had done to you? Maybe not, and if that was true, it fair to be in a relationship where you were always wondering when your last moments were? But then again, you made the decision to stay with Peter when you found out he was Spiderman, because he was worth it, and in many ways, he still was.

So many questions, so much to think about. But for now, all you could do was sink to the floor, the buried pain from the last few months of repression finally taking over the ghost of your body.