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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Upon asking Holly if there's any way to improve Rimmer's existence as a hologram, Lister learns about hard-light technology that Red Dwarf's senior staff kept secret. The drawback? It poses a major risk to Holly’s processors thanks to no ship maintenance for 3 million years, and thus the upgrade is off the cards.

    With Rimmer defeated, wallowing in self-pity and generally moping about, however, Lister becomes determined to learn how to complete Red Dwarf’s full maintenance in order to upgrade Rimmer to hard-light. When he puts his mind to something, he does it, slobbiness be damned.

    Set a few weeks after "The End" (series 1) and weaving Legion's tech into earlier Dwarf lore.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,468
    Chapters:
    3/5
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    37
    Hits:
    241
  2. Tags
    Summary

    "You’ll know nothing about the situation you’re arriving in before you get there.”

    Ace whistled. “So I could drop in on people on the khazi? Or doing the horizontal mambo?”

     

    Ace Rimmer visits various universes using a quantum skipper. Unsurprisingly, he meets a lot of AU Rimmers and Listers.

    A companion piece to my previous fic "Skipping".

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,338
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    26
  3. Tags
    Summary

    I first did this rewrite back in 2016, and I have only just totally redone this.

    I love this Episode so I decided to rewrite the Episode with my OC in the storyline.

    **Spoilers If no one has seen the Episode **

    I will be updating new Chapter every 2 days

     

    The Red Dwarf crew encounter Ace Rimmer, a parallel-universe version of their own Arnold Rimmer who is brave, popular, and heroic. Ace pilots a dimension-jumping prototype craft and arrives on Red Dwarf by accident after the two ships collide. While Lister and Cat easily befriend Ace along with his instant liking for Luna.

    Rimmer develops a strong dislike for him, viewing him as a smug, perfect version of himself that represents all the opportunities and qualities he lacks along with a strong feeling of total jealous towards him with Ace flirting with Luna.

     

    Hope you enjoy. Feel free to comment.

    Yet again no Nasty, no cheeky or bitchy comments, only nice and positive

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,201
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Hits:
    32
  4. Tags
    Summary

    In which tea is drunk, the speed of light is broken, and the last two human beings left in the universe somehow manage not to kill each other.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,370
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    484
  5. Tags
    Summary

    When navigation goes very wrong, the Enterprise meets a planet of Rimmers, Ten Forward gets a hostile Smeg fridge, and one very determined cat saves civilisation. A crossover crack-fic full of smugness, sequins, and diplomatic chaos.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,735
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Hits:
    14
  6. Tags
    Summary

    It had been a long day of menial duties, unclogging chicken soup machines, emptying trash bins, restocking vending machines, and all Lister wanted to do was take a shower, get a drink, and crash out. As he entered the showers, thankfully empty, with a towel slung over his shoulder, he heard a loud sob from the nearby bathroom stalls.

    Lister stopped in his tracks, glancing towards the unsuspecting row of stalls. There was one set of boots beneath the door to the leftmost stall, the standard black army boots that almost everyone on the ship wore. Another loud sob came from within, and Lister took a step closer.

    “You okay in there?” He called out. Lister wasn’t a nosy guy by nature, but it didn’t feel right to take a shower while in the same room as someone breaking down in a bathroom stall. The least he could do was lend an ear.

    “Smeg off!” Came the watery, nasally reply… in that all too familiar voice.

    “Rimmer?”

    Lister finds his bunkmate crying in the bathroom and gets a whole new perspective on Arnold Rimmer.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,675
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    20
    Hits:
    76
  7. Tags
    Summary

    The crew are on a mission, to find a new place for Jackie'z and to collect decorations for John and Frenchie's party.

    They end up in some very unexpected locations...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,418
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    141
  8. Tags
    Summary

    On the surface, Rimmer masks his self-loathing with pomp, protocol, and petty superiority. But beneath the bravado, he can’t stand himself. So when he meets a woman who seems to hate everyone, he’s baffled to discover that, once they get to know each other, she hates him the least.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,176
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    638
  9. Tags
    Summary

    It was meant to be a quick eight-month hop to the edge of the Solar System, where Ursula Hurse, Lieutenant, Engineering Officer First Class, was bound for better and brighter things.

    Fate has other ideas.

    For starters, for some godforsaken reason, it has decreed that she should get stuck on a ship three million years into the future with the neurotic ghost of the boy she used to paint model aeroplanes and play war games with.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,465
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    766
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Maybe it's the intrigue — of the man, of the night, of the fact that Listers considering this at all. He eyes the shoes, the beige hem of pants sticking out the bottom of the coat, the way the guy stands like he's chained in front of a firing squad. The fake moustache that is absolutely going to fall off his face if it doesn't just slowly inch its way down to his neck like a live caterpillar first.

    Lister idly nods. "What's your name?"

    The man thinks for a moment.

    "Todhunter. Christopher Todhunter. Superior officer."

    Lister nods again, not believing it for one smegging second.

    "Not cheap," He says, rocking slightly on his heels, "Half now, half later."

     

    OR, Lister gets mistaken for a mysterious man of the night and might just take someone up on it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,694
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    22
    Hits:
    152
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Lister was.. different, Rimmer noted, noticing how he was almost childlike in his current attitude. Well then, if Lister would act like a child, Rimmer would treat him like one. Not in the cruel, tough-love, condescending way, but in the way you’d speak to an excitable and jumpy animal that you were trying your hardest not to scare away, because if you spoke too harsh or too loud, moved too quickly or too suddenly, it would flee and cower.

     

    OR: Lister has a not so nice time cooped up with Rimmer for a week straight during Marooned, but Rimmer is much more understanding than he ever expected the hologram to be.
    OR OR: i cant stop writing ts, please help me.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,188
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    79
  12. Tags
    Summary

    It's Bridgerton on Red Dwarf!

    Everyone is looking for love, and a mysterious unknown gossip columnist dictates crew members' desirability. Rimmer has just besmirched his reputation with a certain soup incident. Kochanski has just broken up with Lister. And a tall, dark, and mysterious Todhunter has just arrived onboard. How ever will they all find what they seek in this fickle social scene?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,915
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    19
    Hits:
    325
  13. Tags
    Summary

    I first did this rewrite back in 2012, and I have only just totally redone this.

    I love this Episode so I decided to rewrite the Episode with my OC in the storyline.

    **Spoilers If no one has seen the Episode **

    I will be updating new Chapter every 2 days

    A post pod carrying a 3 million year old bag of mail arrives and Rimmer becomes depressed when he learns his father is dead. The crew play an artificial game called "Better than life" which makes the players' wishes come true, but Rimmer's brain begins to rebel.

     

    Hope you enjoy. Feel free to comment.

    Yet again no Nasty, no cheeky or bitchy comments, only nice and positive

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,661
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    53
  14. Tags
    Summary

    31 one-shots! one for each day of Smegtober (Credits to @strange-and-off-putting and @a-literal-toaster-wtf on Tumblr for the list and ideas)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    555
    Chapters:
    1/31
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    37
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Rimmers always been a good boy. Tried to be. Lister knew this and knew it well.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,696
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    141
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Rimmer’s carefree tenure as Ace is interrupted when he discovers a communication device with Lister on its other end. While Lister prods in their relationship, Rimmer’s curiosity about the device’s creation leads him to discover what it really means to surrender his life to being an interdimensional hero.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,236
    Chapters:
    6/7
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    570
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Cloned Governor KA3-5555555 of the Blue-hat Cat colony ‘Curiosity’ is in trouble. The crops are struggling, the population is stagnant, and communication with home is at an all-time low on account of the nearby galactic GELF civil war nearing its conclusion ‘any day now’ and a government that seems more interested in self-congratulation than actually helping those posted in the outskirts of their glorious empire.

    Still, short of Cloister himself showing up uninvited; he might just about turn this dustbowl around.

    ----

    Still recovering from their time impression in floor 13, the crew take a small break from their attempts to use Wildfire’s jump drive to get Kochanski home to check out a nearby terraformed planet populated by a small settlement of Cats.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,570
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    91
  18. Tags
    Summary

    This is was one little one shot song fit I wrote for a cute little scene in the Episode "Thanks the Memory"

    I was listening to a cover version of Ed Sheeran's perfect and I just had to rewrite this little moment using my OC Luna and Rimmer.

    So this little moment a redone and I hope you all like it.

    Feel free to comment and remember no Nasty or bitchy comments, Only Nice and positive ones.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    866
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    10
  19. Tags
    Summary

    I wrote this little Song style Fic back in 2012. I knew this song just fitted Luna and Rimmer and I just had to use it.

    Post Waiting for God: Luna Astrid the newest member of the Red Dwarf Crew is getting use to her new life on board the ship, one day she goes exploring around the place.
    She comes across an old karaoke machine and decides to have some fun.

    What the smeg could go wrong?

    Hope you all like and leave your comments down below and remember no nasty or bitchy comments. only Nice and positive ones

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,127
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    8
  20. Tags
    Summary

    This was my very first Red Dwarf Story I wrote back in 2012.

    Recently I have completely rewritten it.

    This is based off the ending to the season1 Episode "Waiting for God" I was looking for away to write my OC in to Red Dwarf.
    So instead of Rimmer finding the Garbage Pod, he finds an Cryo Pod from the 21st century which contents Luna (My OC)

    I hope you enjoy reading it and leave nice and positive comments no nasty or bitchy comments.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    607
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    11

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