Chapter Text
It all started when my mom finally allowed me to walk on my own, with the rule that I had to be holding hands with at least one of my sisters. As if I’d be safer ‘round them. Leaving me to my sisters is like leaving a baby in the wild to be tended to by wild animals – actually, Tarzan was tended to by wild animals, and Mononoke-hime was too, and I still think that I’ve got it worse, so maybe the comparison isn’t accurate enough.
Anyway, that thing happened Christmastime, on the first Christmas that I spent not being carried around.
There was nothing to it, really. The point was that – the point was that, that there was no other point. That was all.
We were walking around with Mom, my sisters window-shopping and bickering over what they should ask for presents from dad when he got home from his business trip abroad. I was unusually quiet, probably ‘cuz Mom had told me something along the lines of ‘no sweets before lunchtime!’, I guess, because I kinda remembered thinking that my sisters had candies in their pockets and I didn’t and it was unfair.
Somewhere along the way Mom and us exchange his and hellos with a family we happen to see. Dad, mom, two brothers – the younger brother was a baby, younger than me in any case, still using a stroller. The dad and his sons were quiet, and the mom was the only one talking with our mom.
“My, you have such good-looking children,” the other mom had said, smiling cheerfully as she looked at all four of us before looking back at my mom. “If you don’t mind me asking, where’s their father?”
“He’s on an overseas convention. ‘S too bad he had to be gone during Christmas season, but…work will be work, I guess.” Mom said in reply, fiddling with her wedding band like she usually did when she missed Dad. “Your boys look so handsome, as well. How old is your youngest?”
The mom in front of us swept a soft hand across her baby’s sideswept bangs, to keep them off his little face. “He just turned two yesterday. He’s growing up so fast, I can’t believe it!” she said, laughing softly. “He’ll catch up to his big brother in no time, at this rate.”
“My youngest just turned two a few months ago, as well,” Mom said, as she looked at me with a proud look that made my cheeks flush pink. “Started walking a few days after. Kids really grow up fast these days.”
As the two moms talked about stuff that flew absolutely over my little head, I decided to tune them out, and found myself looking at the little baby in the stroller right in front of me.
Really looking.
The baby did have the exact same color of his mom’s hair – a nice dark blue that reminded me very much of night-time – chubby cheeks, bright eyes, cute little lips that had been pursed up in some kind of baby-frown. His eyes were bright and purple, and even then little two-year-old me thought that they seemed to look intelligent, somehow, and when those pretty eyes somehow locked onto my own I felt something stir in my chest, and my mouth flew open.
“Nagi-chan, Nagi-chan,” Izumi had said, squeezing my hand, “You look ready to go catch flies!”
I don’t remember what I might’ve thought back then, but it might’ve been some child-friendly version of Shut up, Izumi-neechan.
I don’t remember saying anything in response to my sister’s teasing, though, because what I do remember is what my mouth somehow said without my brain’s involvement: “That baby is really cute!”
And just as everyone ‘round us fell silent at that, for some reason, I somehow think that it’d be a good idea to press my lips to the little baby’s ones, like I used to see Mom and Dad do before, when they’re really happy. I don’t know why I wanted to do that; only that I did, so that’s what I did.
The baby didn’t do anything more than blink those large purple eyes twice, thrice, before his brother scooped him up from the stroller and kept giving me angry looks, but just like that, my heart thump-thump-thumped in my chest anyway. Still did, even when the family bid us goodbye and when we all got home from the mall.
I was two years old back then, and I am sixteen now, so of course this memory is a bit rough ‘round the edges, that is when I even remember it at all. But Mom tells me the story, really frequently. It’s important, she says, so I have to remember.
When I first met Rei, dark blue hair, purple eyes, I didn’t notice it at first. But as time went on – as we spent more and more time together, practicing, studying, camping, doing everything else in between – I began noticing stuff like that. Like his long limbs and big hands and how warm he feels when his hands reach for me to stop me from doing silly things. And all these feelings, all this thinking, somewhere along the way, it made me realize something.
It made me realize that right now, I wish, more than anything else, that Rei was the one.
So that’s why, one day, I ask him.
“Ne, Rei-chan, have you ever had your first kiss?”