Work Text:
“Your total is twenty-one forty-two, cash or credit?” Akaashi asked, molars pressing together behind her pasted smile. The customer answered, paid, and Akaashi managed to keep from making any visible sign of relief when a coworker came to relieve her for lunch.
With robotic strides, Akaashi left the register and headed to collect her bag in the storage closet this place called a ‘break room.’ The small vabo-chan charm on her handle clicked against the zipper, a remnant of a bygone age that made Bokuto utilize the puppy-dog eyes if Akaashi ever so much as thought of removing it. Akaashi tucked the bag under her arm and marched out of the room, face flat even as goosebumps broke out against her skin.
The fresh air outside the store helped her clammy skin somewhat, but she quickened her step anyway as she headed into the hardware store next door. Ignoring whatever embarrassing thing anyone who caught her going in here--wearing the uniform of a nearby place with its own bathroom--would be sure to think, she pulled open the single-person bathroom door, preferable to the stalls of her place of work, and locked it securely behind her. Before she had even finished, her other hand found the front of her pants--the already unbuttoned top hidden under the fold of her tucked shirt--and pulled down the zipper to alleviate even more pressure. Her breath hitched, and she took a few deep breaths even as her eyes began to sting.
Pulling her pants out and down a bit, she confirmed that her underwear was still fine--minor spotting, no big deal-- before she swung her bag out in front of her so she could search through it.
From the inside front pocket, she dug out a small noisy bottle, the familiar yellow lettering going from a saving grace to absolute hell as she realized there was still technically another hour to go before she should take another tablet.
The blunt feel of her teeth against her lip didn’t much dissuade her from ignoring that realization. She unscrewed the top of the bottle with shaking hands, shook a pill onto her palm, and swallowed it down with some water from the bottle also in her bag. That done, she shuffled over to the toilet, pressing her hand hard against the slight pouch under her navel.
Her knees all but gave out as she dropped onto the toilet seat lid. Leaning back allowed the top of the tank to dig into her back, but she couldn’t bring herself to sit up properly either. Instead, she curled her hand into a fist and pressed it even tighter into her womb, beginning to feel the beating pulse of her heartbeat reverberating through her skin. The pressure she provided alleviated some of the churning pain, but she knew it was a temporary solution. As soon as she let go again, blood would rush through and return the pain doubled. It was worth it, though; anything was worth it to feel just a short moment of relief from the feeling of her body tearing itself apart with a biological meat grinder.
“Ah!” She made a small sound as the ever blunt sort of pain went sharp for an instant, ending with Akaashi curled forward over her stomach, still pressing the bulge of her womb in as tightly as she could. Her breathing, not altogether even, echoed around the small room, skin erupting again with goosebumps and clammy sweat. For a moment, she considered taking another pill. She didn’t know if it was even possible to overdose on Aleve, of all things, but at this point, she didn’t think she would much care if she did. Anything would be better than this drum beating against her uterus, pain blunt enough that it should, in practice, be dull, but that in reality felt worse than any technically sharper pain she had ever experienced.
Slowly uncoiling, Akaashi leaned back again, still not sure which position was best, but at least finding the switch offered some measure of relief. She closed her eyes tight against the white halogen lighting, wishing more than anything that she was in her bathroom at home, heat pad tucked under the waistband of her loosest pair of sweatpants--or, even better, a pair of Bokuto’s.
The pain started to crest again, so Akaashi took even breaths as she released some of the pressure on her womb in small doses until her clenched fist rested gently on her abdomen. With each release of pressure, her heartbeat pushed against her stomach like it wanted to escape.
Akaashi’s nose scrunched up as she tried to stay collected, calm, not to feel… feel…
The first tear slid down the side of her face and past the lobe of her ear. It left an easy trail for the next few to follow as they were forced out by the pressure building up in her gut. She sniffled, hating the sound even as her head fell into a haze.
It just… it hurt. There was no other way to describe it except that it hurt so much, and she wanted it to stop and would do anything to make it stop. Her joints hurt, and her heart hummed against her chest, and she had to be back on shift in less than ten minutes when all she wanted to do was curl up and maybe carve out her womb with a spoon.
Okay, ten minutes, just try not to think about getting up, and allow yourself ten minutes. Maybe grab some crackers from your bag Akaashi told herself. She went back to pressing down to try and alleviate the feel of brillo pad-cotton being overstuffed into her uterus like it was filling a balloon.
Someone knocked on the door. Akaashi froze. The knob rattled, followed by another knock.
“Hello, someone in there?”
Akaashi curled her toes against her sneakers, and tried to stop crying.
“Y-yes, one minute.” Ignoring her shaking voice, she forced herself back onto her feet, joints aching hot, and zipped up her pants as far as she could tolerate before moving over to the sink.
By the time Akaashi was walking back into work, she’d wiped away her tears and pasted back on her tight smile. There was nothing she could do about the sallow and cold appearance of her skin, lips drained of color, but she funneled too much attention to staying upright and focusing on the numbers in front of her to care.
…:::*:::...
“I’m home,” Akaashi mumbled into the apartment she and Bokuto had recently started sharing. They’d lost touch for a bit after high school but reconnected a little less than a year ago, and started dating not too long after that. In many ways, Bokuto hadn’t changed at all since Akaashi first met the excitable proud Amazon of a girl who unwittingly helped sort out the confusing knot of Akaashi’s developing sexuality. Some days it felt like a dream. Other days… other days were more difficult.
“Keiiiishiii!” Bokuto called from behind the door to their room.
Akaashi considered answering, but couldn’t bring herself to do so as she shuffled into the kitchen, opening the cabinet under the microwave and pulling out her prescription-strength ibuprofen. She’d been idiotic not to take it to work with her, but the pain hadn’t snuck up on her until a few hours into her shift. The heating pad should have been there as well, but she instead found it next to the microwave. Grabbing it, she put it in the machine. The sharp beeps of her fingers against the buttons mashed together with the sound of the lid she popped off with the other hand. It took a moment of clarity to keep her from pouring the bottle into her mouth, but she managed to convince herself to shake out only one tablet.
“Keishi?” Bokuto called again, accompanied by the sound of the door sliding along the wooden floor. Akaash hummed as she watched the inside of the microwave spin. Her rings clicked against the countertop as she drummed her fingers on its edge, back hunched forward. “Are you okay? Did something happen at work?”
A hand landed on her back, firm and grounding. Akaashi turned her head enough to see Bokuto standing there with a concerned frown, bottle-blonde hair in a wavy frizz around her ears. Her black roots were eye-catching against the lighter majority, and the Association would probably ask her to touch up or change the color soon. It was relieving that Bokuto had gotten over not being allowed to dye her hair white if she wanted to be on the national team, even if that meant she was now experimenting with a new ‘natural’ color every month. Her big eyes traveled over to the microwave, and she made a little squawk of understanding.
“Oh no.” She looked up at the calendar propped up on the corner of the counter. “It’s early!” The microwave beeped as Akaashi nodded, reaching for the handle. Bokuto beat her to it. “Don’t worry about it, baby. Just go to bed, and I’ll take care of it.”
“Thank you, Kotoro,” Akaashi said, scrunching up her nose as stinging started up behind her eyes.
“No problem.” Bokuto’s hand on Akaashi’s back slid down onto Akaashi’s hip, and the other left the microwave to hold the other side of her body, both of Bokuto’s warm hands holding her. Akaashi allowed them to turn her to face her girlfriend. She was rewarded with a kiss on her nose, and Bokuto’s forehead tilting to rest against hers. With her head still bowed, Akaashi found herself looking at the defined lines of Bokuto’s abdomen, and she realized for the first time that Bokuto was wearing nothing but a gray sports bra and red lace boy shorts. She had probably been working out, judging by that and the thin sheen of sweat on her skin. “I love you,” Bokuto whispered. Akaashi reached out to Bokuto’s shoulders for balance, because there was always something so viscerally powerful about hearing always-loud Bokuto say something quietly as if it could never be meant for anyone but Akaashi.
“I love you, too,” Akaashi answered. Bokuto gave her a quick peck on the lips in response, and Akaashi wished more than anything that the pain would go away so she could just enjoy this soft moment that, as a girl, she never allowed herself to believe she would have with anyone. Girl Akaashi could have never predicted the best moments in the life of twenty-two-year-old woman Akaashi.
… she very much could have predicted the worst, another cramp reminded Akaashi as it drove her to curl inwards on herself.
“Aaaah! It’s okay, go to bed. Here, give me that!” Bokuto said, their quiet moment broken. Akaashi nodded, passing Bokuto her bag. Bokuto swung it onto her shoulder and bent down, hooking her arm behind Akaashi’s knees and lifting her off the ground without a single indication of effort.
“I can walk three meters,” Akaashi said, though she smiled for a moment against Bokuto’s neck.
“And I can carry you three meters!” Bokuto said, walking around the couch to their room.
The microwave beeped.
“Please get that instead,” Akaashi said, motioning to be put down at the door. “I have to change my tampon, first,” she explained.
“Okay...” Bokuto placed her down slowly, arms hovering like she thought Akaashi would fall. Akaashi patted Bokuto’s cheek and turned to the bathroom while Bokuto went back to the kitchen.
Inside, Akaashi’s body relaxed at least a little with the relief of being in her own bathroom instead of an old washed-out public restroom. She shuffled the tight work khakis off her legs with a relief that sent goosebumps down the sides of her hips.
In front of the mirror, she removed all her rings and reached under the sink for a box of overnight pads, finding them knocked to the side in favor of Bokuto’s menstrual cup’s case. After she pulled out her tampon and lined her underwear, she skipped out on putting her pants back on, going straight to her and Bokuto’s room. She dropped herself onto their bed with no more care than she used to drop her rings into the bowl on the side table, curling up into a ball without bothering to move the blankets.
After a few minutes, Bokuto entered the room.
“Keisssshhhhi,” Bokuto admonished. Something clinked onto the side table while something else thudded onto the bed. “You can’t sleep like that. Sit up.” Akaashi groaned but, with Bokuto’s generous help, managed to maneuver her torso up and legs over the side of the bed. Bokuto’s face scrunched up with much more concentration than necessary as she worked on the buttons of Akaashi’s work polo. When it was loose enough, she lifted it over Akaashi’s head, leaving Akaashi in a nude bra. Bokuto disappeared for a second before reappearing with her old sweatpants and a t-shirt. She covered Akaashi with them, knowing Akaashi wasn’t as comfortable with casual partial nudity as Bokuto was.
“Thank you,” Akaashi managed.
“Of course, and I’ve still got the best part! Look!” Bokuto picked up what she had dropped on the bed and waved it in front of Akaashi. It looked like an owl plushie: white, gray, and blue with big golden beads for eyes. It managed to make Akaashi smile for a moment, but she still tried to look past Bokuto for her heating pad.
“That’s cute. Where--”
“Ahh, wait, you haven’t seen it yet!” Bokuto lifted Akaashi’s shirt and moved Akaashi’s hand from below her navel, to replace it with the stuffed animal. Heat radiated out of it and melted into Akaashi’s skin, uncomfortable for only a second before Akaashi’s muscles accustomed themselves, and the burn reached its target of her misbehaving womb. Akaashi brought her hand back up to squeeze the toy to her body. “It’s a new heating pad!” Bokuto explained. “I saw it at a store when you asked me to pick up those throw pillows, so I bought it!” Bokuto looked down with a bit of a frown. “...I hope that’s okay.” She was undoubtedly referring to the fact that Akaashi had asked Bokuto to stop making so many unnecessary purchases.
“It’s more than okay. Thank you, Kotoro,” Akaashi said, so moved that her eyes began to sting for an entirely different reason.
“No problem, you know I’m always thinking about you!” Bokuto said with characteristic ease as she turned and picked up a mug from the table. “And here’s your tea! Sit back, and I’ll give it to you.”
Once Akaashi had shuffled back to recline against the headboard, Bokuto did just that, serving Akaashi a cup of ginseng just the way Akaashi liked it prepared.
“Do you want crackers?” She tilted her head towards the pack on the table. Akaashi shook her head no, and blew on her tea. “How are you feeling? Do you think we’ll need to go to the hospital? Have you been taking your birth control and iron supplements?” Bokuto asked once Akaashi had taken a few sips.
The questions weren’t a symptom of Bokuto’s usual dramatics, but practical concerns born of experience. Akaashi had been hospitalized twice due to period-related issues, one of those times being in high school when she collapsed with the whole team, including Bokuto, as witnesses.
“...I think I’m fine. I’m not lightheaded. Although, I wouldn’t say no to some hospital level painkillers right now,”
“Kay-sshhhiii,” Bokuto said, pretending not to enjoy the wry humor.
“I’m serious. Yes, I’ve been taking my pills regularly.” Bokuto smiled, and Akaashi managed a grin back even as her cramp worsened.
“Perfect! Do you want to cuddle?” Akaashi nodded, but put a hand out in a ‘stop’ motion when Bokuto eagerly put a knee onto the bed. “Take a shower, first,” she ordered.
“Awww.” Bokuto pouted, but turned and left the room to do as told. Eyes following her, Akaashi noticed the yoga mat and empty food wrappers--hamburgers, fries, things certainly not on Bokuto’s nutrition list--on the floor near the door. With the pain numbed by the heat, puzzle pieces began to form.
After Akaashi had finished her drink and put the mug back on the table, Bokuto returned, clearly braless under a baggy cut off shirt and a new pair of--non-sheer this time--boy shorts.
“Can you heat this back up, and the other one too?” Akaashi asked, holding out her new owl.
“The other one? Do you not like this one?” Bokuto asked, shoulders drooping.
“No, I love it, I promise, I’d just like both,” Akaashi promised. Bokuto perked up and agreed, going back into the kitchen. The beeping of the microwave and sound of the fridge announced her movements before she came back with both heating pads, and a couple of water bottles. As soon as she did, Akaashi patted the bed next to her, and Bokuto didn’t even pause to put things down as she crawled on, parking herself pressed into Akaashi’s side while holding everything out.
Akaashi laughed as she took and dropped the water bottles to the side, and lifted both heating pads. She put the owl one over her own lower stomach, and then tucked the other into the waistband of Bokuto’s underwear.
“Akaashi?” Akaashi gave Bokuto a knowing look, and Bokuto drooped. “How did you know?” she asked while bringing her hand up to hold the heating pad in place.
“Hmmm, I have my ways. Also, the heating pad wasn’t in the drawer and your period cup was blocking the pads,”
“Oh. I didn’t want you to know I was on my period, too. It’s not as bad as yours, and when you came home hurting so much, I just wanted to take care of you,”
“And you did.” Akaashi reached up and used her fingertips to turn Bokuto’s head to face her. “Thank you, Kotoro,” she said as she looked into gorgeous golden eyes. “I love you so much,”
“I love you so much too, Keishi. You’re the most important person in the world,” Bokuto said just as Keishi leaned in and met her lips in a quick kiss. She knew neither of them had the energy or will for more right now, but she was already looking forward to being in a similar, much less painful, position in a few days. For now, she shifted closer, resting a hand on Bokuto’s firm bicep, and her head on Bokuto’s softer chest.
One Month Later
Akaashi walked into their bedroom to find her girlfriend doing crunches while surrounded by fast-food wrappers. The details quickly formed a familiar picture in Akaashi’s head, even before Bokuto saw her and went completely limp, spreading eagle against their wooden floor except for the hand she pressed bellow her navel.
“Khayshhhhhi, it hurts!” Bokuto said before shifting so her heels dug into the yoga mat down near her feet with excess force.
Akaashi gave a soft smile as she put her purse down.
“Go to bed. I’ll make you some tea.”