Chapter Text
We have babies. Actual babies. Two of them.
First off, Padmé is a literal goddess. I will fight anyone who says differently. Seriously. Fight.
And secondly, I was there for it (both ends of it and some of the middle) and I still don’t know how they’re possible. Two living beings and I helped do that. This right here is my greatest achievement. Winning the Boonta Eve Classic doesn’t even come close. But don’t misunderstand: Padmé did all the work. (Again, goddess. Fight.)
If these tiny little beings had the ability of speech and asked me to walk into lava I would do it right now. I told Padmé this and she said she knew what I meant and that she would too.
And then.
Then they connected to me. Right through the Force. Without planning or focusing or anything, it was just there. I have a bond with my children and it's the most humbling thing I've ever felt in my entire life. Two bright connections to Luke and Leia Skywalker.
(We decided on my last name because Padmé has all sorts of issues with her names. “Amidala” is what has defined her entire career, but she says that deep in her heart she sometimes feels like Amidala is more of an image than is truly her. She hasn’t gone by “Naberrie” since she was thirteen years old, and it seemed silly to have our kids with a different last name than both of us.
Honestly I would have been fine with whatever she wanted. I’m just happy to be here.)
Obi-Wan turned up all smiles at the medcenter after I commed and told him the news. "Congratulations! How are you feeling?"
"Sort of bloated."
"I wasn't talking to you, Anakin."
I introduced Obi-Wan to the twins. I currently had Luke and Padmé had Leia. The med droids gave us bins to put them in (Padmé said they’re not bins even though they kind of are), but I really had no desire to not be holding a baby anytime soon.
"Beautiful. They obviously take after their mother."
"I'm in much too good a mood for that to irk me."
"Oh. Erm." Obi-Wan took a step back, looking somewhat confused and slightly embarrassed. "I believe they've established a bond with me? This is odd. I'll just..."
I could tell the moment he started to gently disconnect it, because the upset that I felt from two tiny beings was more than I could handle. They started whimpering and it was utterly heartbreaking.
"STOP." I tried to rock Luke very gently, while Padmé shifted Leia onto her shoulder.
Obi-Wan looked panicked. “I’ve stopped!”
“Just...don’t do that!”
“I won’t try that again, I swear!”
Obi-Wan was frantically shielding his anxiety and I was quickly trying to shield my own before we could all spiral out of control. After a fair bit of shielding and projecting calm, the twins started to settle down.
I studied Obi-Wan with some concern. This might be a permanent thing. “Do you mind that you have a bond?"
"Do you mind?"
It was obvious Padmé didn’t know exactly what was going on, but some tension left her body at the same time that the twins had quieted. “What just happened?”
Obi-Wan was still looking slightly mystified. "They established a very low-level bond with me. It’s extremely mild. A fraction of the bond Anakin and I share, really.”
"Do Force sensitive babies normally do this?" Padmé asked curiously as she rubbed Leia’s back.
"Not in my experience, although I've not had much experience with Force sensitive infants. This was completely unexpected. But when I mean mild, it really is. It's the equivalent of smiling at someone through the Force."
Padmé’s expression grew soft. "It sounds very sweet. And not something you would need to break? I really hope you don't mind."
"I'm more concerned if you mind--"
"Let's not play another round of Who Minds." I quickly interrupted.
Obi-Wan thinks that they might have connected to him because he and I have an existing bond. They just followed it from me to him. My children are completely brilliant. I can't wait for them to meet Ahsoka. I should probably warn her though.
⁂
The fact that you can leave a medcenter with babies without having proven any competency for taking care of said babies is deeply concerning. There should at least be a written test.
⁂
One of the droids wished us well and to "come back soon." Padmé stared at it and, without blinking, commed for a renewed supply of suppressants.
⁂
My mom and Padmé’s family came and stayed for a bit, which was nice and helped out a lot. But soon it was just back to the four of us, and when two of those people aren’t really into things like sleeping through the night and want everyone to be aware of that fact, it’s rough.
I walked into a table twice and Obi-Wan was straight-up giggling at me, which is so undignified for someone with facial hair.
"Why are you even here?" I asked, flopping down on the sofa.
"I came because you asked me to, remember? But I'm staying for the entertainment."
"Entertain this."
"Are you meant to be doing something right now?"
Apparently not.
Padmé melted down next to me, Luke in her arms. She's still the most beautiful being in the entire galaxy, but the most beautiful being who has been run over by a metaphorical speeder. I'm sure I'm the only one who can tell though, due to me knowing her so well.
"Caraya's soul, Padmé, you look like death," the silver-tongued dipshit spouted.
Padmé threw her head back and laughed. I deliberately ignored the unhinged edge to it. Look, we're all a little unhinged these days.
Unfortunately Luke did less ignoring and sounded like he was gearing up for a really good cry. I thought about joining him. But then Obi-Wan leaned over all casual, held out his hands, and did something . The air shifted and so did Luke.
Obi-Wan is a Baby God.
"What did you do?” I gaped at him.
“We haven't been able to do anything when they get like this,” Padmé added.
"On a particularly long mission Qui-Gon and I were forced to board with a woman who had a baby about two months into our stay. He taught me this little trick out of necessity. Where he learned it from, who can say?”
“But a mind trick doesn’t work,” I insisted. Trust me, I tried.
“You can't suggest in the normal way because babies aren't weak minded per se, but rather they lack the capacity for higher thought at this point in their life."
It took all of a second for the light of my life to reply, "Obi-Wan, I say this with all respect, but I am kidnapping you." Even sleep deprived she is so brilliant.
Obi-Wan laughed as if she was telling a good joke. Apparently he forgot exactly who he was talking to.
⁂
Obi-Wan has been staying with us for three days now, but refuses to call it being “kidnapped.” Padmé conceded it was only light kidnapping so he’s really more of a forced guest. Obi-Wan insisted that he could definitely leave whenever he wanted to, but Padmé just smiled and handed him Leia.
Sometimes I wonder at the amount of kidnapping that goes on in this galaxy.
⁂
"And then your father landed flat on his face even though I warned him. Yes, I did. I warned him and he didn't listen."
"Hey hey hey! None of that!" I exclaimed, steering myself into the living room while holding Leia.
Obi-Wan gave me a look like blue butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth before turning back to Luke. “He didn’t, did he?”
I sighed and sat down across from the two of them.
“You know, Anakin, I’m surprised you don’t have anyone helping you.”
I stared pointedly at the baby in his arms.
“I mean other than completely willing houseguests,” he quickly added.
My eyes wandered towards the bedroom where Padmé was getting some sleep. “Padmé didn’t want to take advantage of her Senatorial staff.”
“I would have thought at least one of her handmaidens would have offered. Hmm. Are they even called handmaidens now that she’s no longer a queen?”
“No one knows. And she said she has issues in using subordinates who did not sign up for something like this, so she put her foot down and that’s why none of the És are here except for friendly visits.”
That wasn’t really a big hardship for me. Whenever the És are around I feel like I’m being managed.
“A nanny then?”
“A stranger coming in with us? Absolutely not. And before you suggest a droid, the only droids I would trust with my kids are ones I’ve either built myself or I’ve been in a dogfight with. We’re already using Artoo and Threepio for things but it’s not like either of them can hold a baby. Very well, at least.”
A practice attempt had been made using a rolled up towel. It was not successful. There were flames.
“It’s just with two of them it seems like a lot.”
“So I don’t get sleep for, what, eighteen years? I can do that.”
Obi-Wan gave me a wry smile. “I’m sure you can.”
I looked into Leia’s eyes that were shaping up to be as dark as Padmé’s. Leia smiled at me, which she’d just recently started doing, and that could definitely power me for eighteen years. Her little hand was grasping around my finger, and I played along our bond, tugging it gently and getting soft touches back. Suddenly a stray thought hit me.
"I think the galaxy could benefit from my memoirs."
Obi-Wan bounced Luke in his arms and made a noncommittal noise that showed an appalling lack of interest. Honestly.
"I feel it's very important that no one ever gets any wrong ideas about me and builds their entire life around trying to finish my work."
It was critical that Obi-Wan know this. I could sense it deep in my soul.
"Your work currently involves changing nappies, and presumably there will be no need to continue it after you're gone. In fact you probably should warn your children against anyone who would try something like that. That would be alarming."
I thought about that one holovid I stumbled onto that one time.
Obi-Wan shot me a startled look.
⁂
Sometime during Obi-Wan’s captivity Ahsoka turned up and attached herself to the twins.
“And then your dad stepped in something he shouldn’t have stepped in even though Master Obi-Wan and I had just told him to watch out. Yes, he did.”
“Hey hey HEY! Everyone needs to stop trying to make me look uncool to my kids!”
“Master, you made very adorable and very smart little blobs. They’re going to figure it out.”
“Just for that you no longer get a say in the color of the third bedroom. It stays beige.”
In spite of Ahsoka trying to turn my children against me, it has been good to have our Padawan around without having to worry about a battle or an assignment. It’s given us time to give her advice about the Trials, which she should be ready for soon.
I told her all about my shaak-based experiences and only got very flat stares. (Which I have to say were deeply offensive.)
“Anakin, it’s not helpful to Ahsoka to joke about this,” Obi-Wan reproached.
“I’m not! You wouldn’t even know! You didn’t have a preplanned Trial!”
Ahsoka’s nose was wrinkled. “Master, you have to admit that’s sort of...deeply weird.”
“The Order is deeply weird!”
Obi-Wan sighed. “Ahsoka, just trust in yourself. We believe in you and I know you do too. Rely on that, and the rest will come.”
“And don’t let the shaaks paddle your ass.”
⁂
Obi-Wan has finally departed and taken Ahsoka with him, claiming a mission. Fortunately before he left he bestowed upon me his Baby God ways. It doesn’t work all the time since many times babies actually need something when they cry, but it has reduced the number of meltdowns. Both infant and adult.
⁂
We have managed to survive to the point where the twins are mobile. But now that they’re crawling, they are so devious. When Padmé is around, they’re little angels, relatively speaking. When it’s just me they become Master Escape Artists. One minute they’re where they should be and the next minute they’re just GONE. I spend most of my time chasing them throughout the apartment. It no longer matters that Padmé is five years older than me because at this point I’ve aged about ten.
Luke has taken to flopping about dramatically, which is fine if he’s just sitting on the floor. It’s even a bit adorable. But it’s very much not fine if he’s SITTING ON TOP OF A TABLE AND HOW DID HE GET UP THERE?
“LUKE, COME TO DADDY,” I yelled, sprinting across the room.
Luke just stared at me and promptly flopped backwards over the edge. Thank every being in existence that I caught him with the Force!
Meanwhile Leia is using that baby brain of hers to plan heists. Never let anything you value near her because it will disappear.
“Now’s not the time for games, sweetie. Show Daddy where you put the datastick.”
Leia just giggled at me, while across the room Artoo beeped suspiciously.
⁂
Obi-Wan took me to the Créche Master and we had a chat about Force sensitive infants. Not that the Order typically takes them in quite that young, but sometimes there are situations involving rescues, sometimes there are orphans, and so on.
The Créche Master was overjoyed to learn about Obi-Wan’s Baby God knowledge, and they gave some useful tips in return. Some of it sounded like it should help, but basically it boils down to simply having to deal with highly Force sensitive beings unless we wanted to give care of them over to the créche.
I’m sure you’re not surprised to hear that there is no way in any of the nine Corellian hells or all twenty-seven of the Sith hells that that will ever happen.
⁂
“Anakin, pacing will not help,” Obi-Wan said as if he hadn’t been doing some shuffling of his own.
“What if she doesn’t pass? I mean, she definitely will, but what if she doesn’t?!”
“She will.”
“Is this what you felt like when I was going through my Trials?”
“At the time I was just happy we were still in the Order.”
“Wait, we ?”
“I meant you, naturally. Your whole marriage bombshell with its raining debris. All that.”
Before I could dig a little deeper into that suspicious slip of the tongue, Ahsoka emerged from the testing chamber with a far-off look in her eyes.
“Well?”
“I passed,” she said, still in a daze. Then shaking herself a bit, Ahsoka strode up to me and said, “I understand about the shaaks now. I’ll never doubt you again.”
I put my hands on her shoulders. “And that is the greatest lesson I can ever teach you.”
Obi-Wan made a noise of complete bewilderment.
⁂
In short order Ahsoka was knighted, I was officially promoted to Master (after a heated week-long debate), and Obi-Wan was promoted to High Master, a title that had never before existed but one the Council was looking excessively smug about.
But now that Ahsoka’s an actual Knight, that means she gets solo missions. She was practically bouncing off the walls when she left, and I am happy for her, but it also means she’s not here.
It helps a bit that she didn’t seem interested in dissolving our bond. After all, many Padawans do decide to dissolve it when they’re knighted. (Obi-Wan brought up the possibility of dissolving our bond exactly once in an awkward conversation that involved several moments of panic, and I’m pretty sure the panic wasn’t only on my end.)
I would absolutely respect Ahsoka’s decision if she’d wanted to, but thank kriff, is all I have to say.
⁂
It was about a week after Ahsoka went on her way that I walked into the bedroom to find Padmé dumping clothes into her suitcase.
“Why are you packing?”
“You’ve been moping since Ahsoka left.”
“So you’re taking off on me too?” That didn’t sound right, but in my current mood I was feeling peevish.
Padmé shot me a look. “Of course not. Pack your things for at least a week. This is official Senate and Jedi business.”
“What about the twins?”
“Coming with us.”
“Uh. Really? Padmé, this may come as a shock, but I don’t have the best safety record on missions.” Before the twins I don’t think I would have admitted that, but now it’s something I think about a lot.
Padmé stopped packing and came over to smooth down my tabards before stilling her hands on my chest. “Trust me?”
I’ve learned that Padmé is always right. Always. All I need to do is whatever she says, and things will work out. (I mean obviously I don't need to do what she says. I do have free will and all and we are both against fascism, but it's like having cheat codes to the galaxy.)
“When do we leave?”
“As soon as we can pack up and pick up Obi-Wan. I’m not leaving your equally mopey counterpart behind.”
“Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
⁂
On seeing clones staffing the spaceport where we landed, Obi-Wan looked like Boonta Eve had come early. We’d arrived at Imvur: the planet given to the troopers as part of a retirement package. Padmé had come out of family leave a few months after the twins had been born specifically to get it passed in the Senate, so we were all invested.
The five of us organized ourselves in a speeder, which involved Padmé giving kisses to the twins (they were delighted), and then settling herself at the controls (Obi-Wan was delighted). We took a mini tour, seeing construction projects mixed in with temporary structures. There were even a few finished buildings already. Never stand between a clone and completing a mission.
“Are you two sure you don’t want to come with me?” Padmé asked as if she didn’t have meetings lined up for days to advise on forming a new government. “It should be fascinating!”
It’s like she’s never met us. Seriously.
We stopped in to say hello to Commander Cody who’s been put in charge of the whole thing. They haven’t exactly settled on a new title for him yet though, or anyone else in “command.”
“Senator. Generals. I’d prefer it if you just called me Cody.”
“Then you’re required to call me Padmé,” she said with a smile.
“Anakin,” I said. “I’m not a General anymore.”
“And Obi-Wan, please,” Obi-Wan added.
“Uh, it might take some time to get used to that, Sirs.”
“That’s fine, King Cody,” Obi-Wan said with a quirk to his lips. “Yes, I quite think that rolls off the tongue.”
“Sure does,” I agreed.
Cody stared at Obi-Wan. “That’s going to stick until I start using your name, isn’t it?”
“Possibly.”
Padmé then started talking about things like constitutions and elections while she was outside of the safe confines of a scheduled meeting, which resulted in Obi-Wan quickly pushing the hoverpram with the twins in the opposite direction of all politics. I gave Padmé a kiss and then scurried after him.
⁂
“HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?” I yelled while in the middle of hurtling myself into the trash compactor.
Obi-Wan called down the chute to me. “Anakin, for the last fourteen years I’ve been more surprised when things like this don’t happen.”
“Luke, get that out of your mouth! Yucky!” I grabbed some sort of tube out of his hands and he gave me a dressing down in a word or two of Basic and lots of nonsensical noises.
Obi-Wan landed with a whump. “Where’s Leia?”
“Oh, you mean Queen of Trash Mountain over there?”
“At least this is the recyclables. It could have been far worse.”
“It’s bad enough. I looked away for literally a second!”
“They slipped past my notice as well,” Obi-Wan admitted as he scaled Leia’s domain. “Hello there, your Majesty.”
Leia babbled at him, punctuated with a “no!”, and grabbed his nose.
“Yes, I quite agree,” he replied, scooping her up.
Muffled shouting could be heard beyond the lower hatch, and hands began to pry the door open. A frantic Kix jumped in as soon as there was space enough to squeeze through, followed by Fives.
“Anyone hurt in here?” Kix demanded.
“No one’s in any pain, just a little dirty,” I reassured him (and myself.) “Isn’t that right, stinky boy?” I asked Luke.
“The cadets are okay!” Fives yelled and there were cheers from the other side of the hatch. “Blast, we’re going to have to push safety regs to the top of the list.”
I opened my mouth to tell him that it wasn’t like your average former trooper would go jumping into a trash compactor, but Obi-Wan spoke first:
“Might I assume there’s a pressing need to babyproof the planet?” he asked with a knowing smile.
I’m an idiot. Of course some of the clones would start having children. Naturally, adoption, other means, it didn’t matter. I’d even registered the fact there were some non-clone sentients around, but hadn’t really thought too much about it. The clones had non-military lives now, even if they were still clinging to military structure.
“The first baby born on Imvur is expected in about three months.” Fives grinned with a bigger grin than I had ever seen on him.
With over a million uncles, that should be the best cared-for infant in the galaxy, trash compactors and all.
Everyone was thoroughly cleaned and put into fresh clothes, and the twins were looked over by Kix with an almost literal microscope. I did have to derail two “Anakin Skwaylker is very uncool” stories being told to Leia and Luke, but Kix praised them saying they were far more cooperative than Obi-Wan and I ever were, which is probably true. When he finally let us go, the twins were still extremely excited about their adventure and the fact that they were on a new planet and that there were so many new friends.
Obi-Wan suggested we try some of the meditation exercises we learned when we visited the créche, which had to be better than the high-pitched shrieking currently coming from the Overstimulated Ones.
We found a purple-ish tree to sit under and Obi-Wan sat Luke in his lap while I situated Leia in mine. We learned that with kids this young the idea is to float along in the Force next to the baby’s Force signature so that you sync up and become like two gentle streams.
Leia and I were not streams. Oh, we may have started out as somewhat large-ish streams, but we quickly became fast-moving rivers after a snow melt with hordes of gooberfish jumping between us. I tried to keep Leia sitting down, but I was having squirming issues of my own.
Obi-Wan cracked an eye open to look at me. “Hmm.”
I stopped trying to be a stream and said, “I’m starting to think the Créche Master was completely lying about not having any suppression collars.”
Obi-Wan lifted up Luke and set him down in front of me. Then he pulled Leia from my lap and onto his own. “Let’s try it this way.”
I shrugged, pulled Luke onto my lap, and tried to stream again.
It was different.
Not only was I able to slow Luke down, he slowed me down as well. I took a minute to relax into the moment, feeling Luke softly touching the clasps on my glove. He then started slowly petting it, while his mind stayed calm and relaxed. To me everything seemed a bit clearer and sharper, while at the same time soft and warm. I had an epiphany that this is what meditation should actually feel like. I could get into this.
But even with this success, I couldn’t help worrying about Leia. What if she couldn’t calm down? Did that mean she was out of control? What if she’d never be able to meditate at all, even when she was older? And if not, what did that mean?
Obviously I didn’t need to worry too much because when I looked over, Leia had face-planted onto Obi-Wan’s leg, completely out.
“Did you do your Baby God thing?”
Obi-Wan chuckled. “No. We were streams together.”
“Showoff.”
⁂
We’d all been invited to dinner with about twenty of our former troopers. In a room that looked like it was normally some kind of meeting room, we sat around a large table that was clearly newly constructed. Situating Luke in Padmé’s lap and Leia in mine, we waited for dinner. Talk around the room was relaxed, with the twins babbling to each other at an actual normal volume. Before long, plates were brought out which caused a general hush to the conversations.
In front of us were ration bars.
Was their infrastructure so bad that they needed to be eating ration bars? That was troubling. Or worse yet, maybe the clones actually preferred ration bars? In which case maybe we should bring in some mind healers?
Luke grabbed a bar in front of him and shoved it in his mouth. Then with the look of someone who has been deeply betrayed, shouted, “Yucky!” and threw it where it landed in the middle of the table with a wet plop.
“Oh so that you take out of your mouth,” I said to him.
Laughter erupted and multiple voices broke out.
“I said it would become a projectile!”
“You said General Skywalker would throw a ration bar. Cadet Skywalker doesn’t count.”
“It counts!”
“I knew General Kenobi would be too polite to say anything.”
“Damn, I thought sure we’d get a sarcastic quip first!”
Obi-Wan chuckled and said to me, “I think we’ve been pranked.”
“At least they didn’t try to serve us updog.”
He gave me a flat stare.
⁂
After a dinner of actual food, we let the twins roam free who proceeded to charm everyone in their radius.
I got into a discussion with Appo and Fives, and volunteered to lend a hand with their support equipment and droids. There would be enough to work on that I could probably stay busy the entire time I was here, if I wanted.
Off in another corner Obi-Wan seemed to be making plans for projects of his own, so at least he wouldn’t be getting into too much trouble. Probably.
A little later Padmé grabbed my attention, telling me that some of the men wanted to babysit the twins as “practice.” That was fine with me as long as she or Obi-Wan or I would be nearby. Then I wished the troopers “luck” with a smirk.
The room fairly hummed with positive energy, and it was easy to see that Padmé had been right again. This had been exactly what I needed.
Padmé put her arm around my waist. “What are you thinking about?”
Jessie was giving Luke a ronto-back ride while Kix was making sure Luke actually stayed on his steed. Rex was trying to teach Leia how to salute, but she seemed more interested in babbling gibberish commands at him which were punctuated with pats to his knee. And Obi-Wan’s actual laughter rang out as Waxer told a story to him and Cody.
I put my arm around her and kissed her forehead. “I’m thinking about thank-you notes.”