Chapter Text
Morning couldn’t have come quicker for Izuku. Although, for Katsuki, he would come to beg for more time when the sunlight had forced his eyes open.
The alpha had gotten about an hour of sleep thanks to his rampant thoughts while the omega was comfortable as he could be.
Endless thoughts about what Katsuki had admitted swirled around, mixing in with the advice he’d gotten from Yagi and what his friends had told him. As much as the older alpha tried to help, Izuku really didn’t find any closure from what he had said. More confusion than results ended up giving him headaches throughout the week. His friends, while they meant well, didn’t help. If they weren’t feeling worried for him, then they were complaining about Katsuki and aggressively urging him to move one. It was tempting, more often than not. However, Izuku didn’t feel like giving up would really bring him any sense of peace. After all, he had loved the blonde omega for so long that just stopping seemed...well...not impossible, but not possible at the same time. His feelings wouldn’t just vanish, no matter how upset he was with Katsuki at the moment.
The frustration that he felt temporarily overpowered the relief that he and the other were finally on the same page. What he could understand going forward was pretty simple: Katsuki (by some miracle) did return his feelings and decided that doing something that involved more actions than words on his part would be the wiser move. If Izuku was being honest, perhaps Katsuki wasn’t exactly making a wrong call by trying that route. The fact that he had decided to trust Mina with movie logic just seemed to unlike him. Even if he didn’t have any idea on what to do, surely, applying movie logic to reality seemed fishy?
“Why are we like this?” Izuku patted Katsuki’s head. “Maybe I should look into some more therapy as well for the future. Talking to each other shouldn’t be this hard...right?” The greenette shook his head at the thought and turned to look at his alarm clock. It was Friday, so they did have to be up by breakfast. It wouldn’t do well (especially for them) to try going to class on an empty stomach. Plus, if they waited for too long, then there would be plenty of witnesses to Katsuki exiting his room. While Izuku himself didn’t mind that too much, he knew how much drama that had the chance to start from their last interaction. In the interest of not starting up any arguments in the morning - after the night he already had - the alpha gently shook the omega squeezing his midsection.
For the first few moments, it earned him some half-hearted growls before Katsuki was turning. Though, instead of moving away from the source of the shaking, he seemed to lean into it. More specifically, Katsuki moved however he needed to if it meant that he would continue to be touched. It was adorable, but...but…
Be strong, Izuku! You need to be the responsible one here since you’re the one awake first!
“Kacchan.” Izuku adjusted himself so that he was sitting up more. It freed his arms a bit and he was able to wrap them around Katsuki’s form easily. Lifting the omega like he had done last night, he easily carried the two of them out of his room and towards the bathroom. Not only did he need to pee, but he didn’t want to leave Katsuki alone in his room. As frustrated as he was with the new information he had been given, it would be unnecessarily cruel to just abandon Katsuki when it was clear that he needed some sort of grounding. When they arrived, Izuku set Katsuki down on his feet and urged him to splash some water on his face to better wake up.
“Nooooooo.” Katsuki was normally not this protestant against waking up. Izuku may not have known about the nightmares in detail, but even an idiot could tell that this new attitude towards the morning could be blamed on the fact that he hadn’t been sleeping well. He fussed and twisted in Izuku’s hold, trying to hug the alpha and bury his face in that clothed chest while he was being pulled at.
“Kacchan.” Izuku tried to be firm, but it ended up as more of a whine when his bladder began calling to him more. “I really need to pee and I don’t think taking you in the stall with me is a good idea.” He pushed Katsuki towards the sink where he knew that omega’s toothbrush was. They all had cups that held about three toothbrushes each, so he just needed to find the right section. It kinda went without saying that specific people went for specific sinks in accordance with where their toothbrushes ended up. “You brush your teeth and I’ll come back out, alright?”
Katsuki grumbled more, but at Izuku’s continued insistence about urinating he reluctantly let the alpha go. He followed Izuku’s recommendation and began to brush his teeth as the sound of peeing played in the background - never had Izuku felt more awkward than he was peeing where someone else was there to hear. When he finished, he made quick work of washing his hands so that he could begin brushing his teeth as well. Katsuki didn’t look anymore awake compared to when e was first brought in, so it was almost as if he wasn’t using any brainpower as he brushed. Given how many times a human should brush their teeth, it made sense that such a thing might become muscle memory though, so it hardly concerned Izuku.
“I talked to Aizawa, ya know?”
That, on the other hand, concerned Izuku greatly.
Turning his head slowly, Izuku raised a brow when it appeared that Katsuki was still half-asleep. Appearances could be deceiving, and this had to be one of those cases since Katsuki sounded so...solid...when he said that. There was no way that he’d just reveal something like that when he wasn’t even awake.
“I...I know I’m not…” The omega sighed, spitting out his toothpaste and rinsing his mouth out. “I’m not the easiest person to get along with, let alone love.”
That’s not entirely true. Izuku had certainly met people who were a lot worse. The blonde didn’t give himself enough credit for when he did encourage someone or show them that he cared. It was certainly not always in a traditional sense, but those who knew Katsuki could tell.
“I know I’ve made mistakes.” A dry chuckle followed that, the tapping of Katsuki’s toothbrush handle echoing through the still bathroom. “With you...honestly...it’s a wonder that you haven’t hated me since the first year.”
I couldn’t hate you. Izuku’s alpha cried out in agony at the thought. I don’t think I could hate anyone…
“I...what happened...look.” Katsuki turned around, not at all bothered by the fact that Izuku was still brushing his teeth. He gazed at the alpha’s emerald eyes, amazed that even if they had been dulled a bit in his expression of sadness, they still flickered occasionally. “I was...I was upset. It..it always felt...fuck...it felt like everything I was trying wasn’t working. I was...I was angrier at myself, but it...like always...it came out at you.”
Fuck, that feels so strange to ay…
But Katsuki needed to keep talking. If he let himself back out now, he would never get another chance like this. He’d clamp up and ruin his progress so far.
“You didn’t do anything wrong in this case. You...actually...I don’t think you have.” Katsuki tried to think back to see if this was more of a two-sided thing, but it really wasn’t. The only thing he could imagine was that Izuku never really left his side and force him to consider what it would be like without him, but that wasn’t supposed to b his responsibility. If he left, then he was leaving because he wanted to and not to teach Katsuki a lesson. “I...the truth is...I do love you like that. I have for a long time…”
Katsuki could never imagine that it was as long as Izuku waited for him and it made him feel like shit.
“I made a lot of bad decisions around that but...but I promise you, I’m trying.” He gave Izuku a pleading look, flinching away when the alpha narrowed his eyes in question. The brushing had started back up and, before long, Izuku was spitting into the sink and rinsing his mouth. Now available, he could respond.
But...he didn’t.
Izuku remained silent, arms crossing over his broad chest as he stared at Katsuki.
It was a silent request for Katsuki to continue.
“I know I probably don’t deserve it.” Katsuki hugged himself, unconsciously making himself look smaller. It went against everything he’d normally be comfortable doing, but he couldn’t care less. As long as Izuku was staring at him with those suspicious eyes, it was hard to feel 100% confident in anything. This was the best he could do. “But...I...De-Izuku, can we…” Katsuki cleared his throat. “Can we talk about this more? Our...our f-feelings and sh-stuff?”
The amount of effort that Katsuki put into not swearing was impressive. He wanted to let his words run freely, but he also had no interest in breaking the calmer atmosphere they had finally managed.
“I do want you as my alpha.” A small smile graced his lips. “Not Shi-Kirishima, not anyone else. And...and I know we h-haven’t been the best at talking….but….that can change. I...I’ll try. I want to try for you - for us. So...please…?”
Katsuki held out his hand, keeping his head down so that he wouldn’t have to watch Izuku’s reaction. He doubted that the alpha would simply smack his hand away or say something degrading, but he was still afraid. Afraid that Izuku would eye it with more distrust or disgust, rejection clear in those beautiful eyes that Katsuki just wanted to stare into all day. He would be brave by not backing down, but that’s as far as he could go.
For now, at least.
Only for now…
“We’ll talk about it.” Izuku only took a few moments to answer, a gentle smile playing at his lips when he felt Katsuki tense under his grip. There would be a lot of things to work through and it would take time (and a lot of explanations) for Izuku to forgive the omega for saying what he said in the common room that day. But, for now, looking at the past seemed too trivial when their future was still hopeful. Yagi’s advice to find peace seemed to make more sense now.
“Maybe...we both still have the chance to be happy.”