Chapter Text
Ever since he can remember, Kyan Reki has known the feeling of abandonment like the back of his own hand.
He easily recognizes when he’s not wanted, and it’s a notion he knows all too well. After experiencing it so often, Reki eventually learns how to mask it well. It was a little hard at first, yeah, but he just told himself to get over it right? It wasn’t a big deal, he always found new people.
(However long they would even last in the first place was always a mystery.)
His earliest memory of these certain revelations would probably be of his own father. Reki faintly remembers the man, barely recalls what he looked like. There was almost no trace of him once he had fled his home of his only wife and son.
He does remember his mother as she took down each and every photo his father was in that hung on their walls or were displayed in frames on several surfaces- or more specifically the expression on her once thin face. Completely torn, betrayed.
He remembers the almost completely barren walls after his mother had finished the job. His father had been in so many of the photos.
He remembers his mother’s health declining from the unexpected departure of the man as she struggled to support herself and her son. On more than one occasion Reki can recall finding the woman letting her own tired but smiling face fall even for just a few minutes as the weight of everything came crashing down again. Reki had been four years old.
Sometime later, Reki learned a new word in his daycare class. He realized he had been abandoned for the first time in his life.
Once things had picked back up after Reki’s mother met his current step-father, they welcomed a new member to their somewhat broken little family- Koyomi. Reki’s brand new little sister. One that would not be played with like he and his mother had been, he would make sure of it.
And he had nothing to worry about in the first place- Haru Kyan was a better father than Reki could have ever imagined. Nurturing, caring, and far more present than his own father ever was.
(It almost made him jealous.)
Though the man had come early on in Reki’s life, there was still an obvious divide between him and the rest of his new family. Reki could see how hard Haru tried, and he appreciated it to no end.
But it was just different.
That was when Reki had been six years old.
Some more time passed, and eventually Reki and his family got more used to their new, happy life. Or, as happy as Reki could get. He was still waiting for an explanation on his dad’s sudden absence.
(It takes a couple more years to realize he’ll never get one.)
Reki remembers being in the middle of a math test in his third year of elementary school when he’s called to the front office. He’s being sent home.
Haru says nothing the whole ride home. Doesn’t really acknowledge much other than giving him a sad sort of smile when he walks into the office. Reki is beyond confused. He was going home early, what was there to be sad about?
Masae, his mom, greets him at the front door when he arrives home. Her eyes are red and Reki knows she’s been crying. He’s about to ask why when she speaks first.
Grandpa passed, baby. I’m so sorry.
At first, Reki is even more confused. He doesn’t register the fact of death yet, but instead thinks he left too?
Masae begins to cry again which in turn makes Reki cry too. He cries and cries, while his mother cradles him like he’s four years old again and his father has just left them, surrounded by the naked, white walls. Except it’s not dad this time, it’s grandpa . Why, why does Reki keep getting abandoned? He hopes he one day knows the answer.
Four more years later, and Reki is thirteen. He had picked up the new hobby of skateboarding because his mom thought he needed to get outside more. The boy quickly fell in love with the sport, though he wasn’t much good at it yet.
Reki began making the boards as well- he found he was really good at that, despite the actual skating part. The hobby stuck and Reki had never been so passionate about something in his life. He’d never been so happy.
Just when he thought it couldn’t get better, Reki met Mitsue.
He was the first person his age Reki met that liked to skateboard as much as he did. Reki had always gotten attached to things easily once he decided he truly liked them, one of his fatal flaws. Especially considering his unfortunate past.
He always found it kind of funny in a sort of depressing way.
So that’s who they became, Reki and Mitsue, basically attached at the hip. Skating from dusk till dawn when they could.
When Reki was about to let himself believe it was finally getting better for him, the possible worst happens. Of course.
They’re sixteen. Mitsue is in a coma, badly injured. And Reki is sitting at his bedside, watching him.
Reki is guilty .
This was all his fault.
It’s all his fault his best friend, only friend, is bound to a hospital bed for who knows how long. The doctors say he’ll never walk normally again. He’ll never skate again.
All because Reki just wanted to try a new trick, one he can’t bring himself to remember what it was even called.
So, his best friend is gone, moved off to some other part of Japan and Reki never heard from him again. Mitsue probably never even wants to think of Reki again, for what he’s done. And Reki doesn’t blame him, it was all his fault.
All his fault.
(And Reki is left alone, yet again. Abandoned, like he should be, like he always has been.)
And so, Reki continues on with his life because he has to. Because he can, unlike Mitsue. It’s the greatest burden he’s ever had to carry, it should have been me.
Skating is the only thing that keeps him smiling, ironically enough. It feels like he shouldn’t, but he can’t help it- he just gets attached . He keeps his bright and cheery personality, becoming more of a facade by the day. It’s getting hard. He doesn’t know how much longer he can keep it up.
Reki is seventeen now. He’s at a new low, though no one can tell. No one cares to tell. He doesn’t know how to fix it, this wasn’t like one of his skateboards.
But then.
Then there was Langa.