Chapter Text
Ranboo considered himself to be a good enough sort of person. He wasn’t great. He wasn’t perfect or terrible. He was just good enough by most definitions, and that was good enough for him.
He had a happy family, a happy home in a great big mansion in a snowy town by the sea. He had a loving platonic husband and an absolutely precious adopted son. He had an adorable best friend who he was going to make into his second lifemate, so help him Ender. And to top it all off, he finally had a father figure that wasn’t either A: a hypocritical, two-faced, son murdering terrorist whose best buddy(and Ranboo’s former mentor) murdered his husband and then beat his first beloved bloody, or B: just really far away, back home in Nightreach with the rest of the family.
All in all, it was okay. It wasn’t perfect, but nothing in life ever was, not completely, anyway. But it was perfect enough for Ranboo, and that was good enough for him.
But it wasn’t always so perfect, was it?
—
His earliest memories were of home. His earliest memories of home were of the living room. And his earliest memories of the living room were of sitting on the carpet with his nestmates as they played beneath their parents’ watching, loving gazes.
Mama was his favorite. He knew it wasn’t very nice to pick a favorite when it came to parents, but that was just the truth of the matter.
Mama was great. Mama had pretty eyes that were a pale periwinkle blue that matched her soft, fuzzy sweaters. Mama liked to sing and dance around the ballroom while he chased after her long, curly tail that was covered with little white spots that reached all the way to the fuzzy tip. She wore round, purplish glasses and let him play with them sometimes when he was bored and had to sit still for a real, real long time.
Mama let him do all sorts of things, and that’s why she was Ranboo’s favorite.
Mama was the one who helped him pick out his first memory book. He couldn’t remember exactly what she said about it, but he remembered him saying something along the lines of it “helping him remember all the important bits by keeping them safe and all in one place”. Ranboo liked the way that sounded, so that’s the first thing he ever wrote down in his first ever memory book.
Mom helped him with that book a lot when he was small. Mom was taller than Mama, and her eyes were a shiny green that matched all the pretty, sparkly jewelry she wore on her long, curly horns. Mom had a deep voice and a stern face, but she was always nice and fair when it came to playtime with the rest of his nestmates. She was firm yet fair, and she was the one who told the best bedtime stories whenever it was time for a nap around the fireplace.
Once, when everybody else was asleep, Mom let Ranboo cuddle with her on the couch. He liked her soft, silky dress. Mom had lots of pretty, silky dresses like it. This one was purple and had puffy sleeves that he thought were a bit silly.
He didn’t say that, though. That would be rude. Ranboo didn't like to be rude. Mom wouldn’t be upset if he did say it, though, but he still didn’t. Because that would be rude.
She told him a few stories that night. Stories about the snow, about the caves and lands beyond the mountains that surrounded their northern home. She told him about places he’d never seen before. Like deserts where it never snowed, or jungles where the rain never stopped. That sort of place sounded awful. Mom confirmed as such with a sagely nod and a sour frown.
She told him that they were descended from dragons, and that a long, long, long time ago, they all lived in a place called “The End”. She said they used to rule over The End and had a big, fancy kingdom that spread over a thousand floating islands in an inky sea of endless void. These islands were made of a yellowish stone and were covered with weird plants that grew and grew until they touched the starless sky, and there were ships that could fly through the air to collect their special fruit.
She said that one day, the queen dragon made everybody in the kingdom leave. Nobody knew why the queen dragon did this. And nobody ever tried to go back inside after the portals closed behind them. But they still kept the portals safe, just in case the queen ever let them go back home.
Ranboo asked about whether the queen dragon ever thought about being a king dragon, instead. Mom said she didn’t know, but that it was perfectly alright for a queen to wish to be a king, if that’s what would make them happy.
Mom asked if being a king would make Ranboo happy. Ranboo said yes. Mom nodded and said she’d bring that up to Mama and Dad when they woke up. Ranboo said “thank you” before he fell asleep.
Dad was cool. No, scratch that, Dad was awesome . Ranboo put him right next to Mama on his favorites list(don’t tell Mom), and for good reason, too. He was a gentleman who wore fancy suits, kept his ebony hair slick and well kept, and whose amber eyes gazed out at the world through sockets surrounded by a matching pair of white, diamond shaped markings.
He was also the one that helped Ranboo pick his name.
“ Ranboo .” The older enderian rolled the name off his tongue in a heavy strum. “Ranboo. Ran-boo. Ranboo. That’s a fine name right there, a fine name in- deed . Sounds like a gentleman’s name. Perfect for you, hm?”
A black talon came down and pinched his pale, snow white cheek. Ranboo giggled as he shoved it away.
“Daaaad. Noooo!” He whined and continued giggling brightly as his father pulled away. The adult ender hybrid smiled down at the younger and turned back towards the cluttered trunk behind him, which was overflowing with loose fabrics and sheets of smooth, shiny silk. He leaned down and began rummaging about inside.
“Ah, yer no fun.” He tsked in fake offense. Ranboo stuck his tongue out and earned himself an eyeroll. His father chuckled and returned to the task at hand while Ranboo kicked his feet out and waited on a nearby table. A few moments passed before the elder spoke again.
“Y’know, your Mama actually knew you were gonna be a boy, way before you hatched.”
Ranboo’s ears perked up. “Oh? Really? How? I didn’t even know until a bit ago!”
His father laughed and nodded. “I know! But she did. Before you hatched, she pointed at your egg and said all matter-of-fact like ‘this one is gonna be a boy!’. And of course, me being me, I asked her how she knew that without any sort of magic or whatever the doctors use for that sort of thing. ‘Mother’s intuition. An enderian mother always knows’ she said while doin’ that little head shake she does. You know the one.” He moved his head side to side, mimicking the quirk that Mama so often exhibited.
Ranboo giggled a bit as his father continued. “And after the doctors showed up and said you were gonna be a girl, your Mama was not happy . Not happy one bit . She kept making them double check to make sure they weren’t trying to trick her. Those poor lads. Your Mom had to pry her off of one of them when he tried tellin’ her that she needed to medicate to ‘sort out those post-ovum hormones’ of hers. Not a fan of that guy. Never was. Too nosy, too loud in the hatchery and a bit too handsy with the eggs. Needless to say, that guy did not get a cent out of me. His friends were alright, though. Very sweet.”
“Was she sad when I came out and looked like a girl?” Ranboo tilted his head slightly as his father pulled a long, thin strip of measuring tape from the depths of the trunk.
Dad smiled and shook his head. “No, sweetheart, she wasn’t. She was just happy you were here. She just didn’t get that you needed a bit of help with the whole boy thing. Her intuition was right, though, wasn’t it? How’s your head?”
As his father came over to join him, Ranboo tapped a hand against his head. A sharp, bright sting shot out through his skull where he touched the soft skin hidden beneath his colorless curls. He winced and felt a burning sensation in the corners of his eyes. His father rushed to get a handkerchief.
“⊑⎍⍀⏁⌇.” He whimpered in a weak, childish warble. He sniffled and flinched as the tears poured down his cheeks and stung his sensitive, undeveloped scales.
“⟟⏁'⌇ ⍜☍⏃⊬. ⎅⏃⎅⏃'⌇ ⊑⟒⍀⟒. ⏚⏃⏚⊬'⌇ ⌇⏃⎎⟒.” His father answered in a soothing voice that was filled with a couple deep, distorted chirps. He pressed the silk cloth against the boy’s cheeks and cupped a hand around his tiny, slender frame.
Something twitched behind him. Ranboo clenched his jaw as his tail instinctively moved to wrap around his waist. The movement only made him cry more.
He didn’t want a tail. He didn’t want horns, so he got them taken off. Horns made him look like a girl. He wasn’t a girl, so he didn’t want them.
His tail was still there, though. His stupid, awful tail. He didn’t want a tail. Only girls had tails, but Mama said he couldn’t get his off until he was a bit bigger. That wasn’t good. That wasn’t okay.
“ Stuck. ” He whispered while curling in on himself. “Stuck. Stuck. Can’t do it, can’t do it, can’t can’t can’t.”
Stuck.
Stuck in a body he didn’t want.
Stuck in a suit that didn’t fit.
Stuck in his head with no way out.
Stuck.
Stuck.
Trapped.
He let out a sob and heard his scales hiss. Pain rang out across his body as two large, black claws wrapped around his torso and lifted him into the air.
“It’s okay.” His father whispered softly while scooping him into his arms. He snuggled close to the older’s chest and clung on for dear life. “It’s okay, you’re okay. Just breathe, Ranboo. Just breathe. We’ll get it figured out, sweetheart.”
Ranboo could only cry and nod as he was carried off to bed.
—
As the years went on, his memory was flaky. It wasn’t good, it wasn’t bad. But it was enough to get him through the day and life, and it was enough to hold on to the stuff that really mattered.
Sometimes it wasn’ enough, and that was okay, too. Stressful, sure. Terrifying, certainly. Anxiety-inducing to the point of getting himself sick to the stomach when he forgot that his scales were changing and got freaked out thinking he was going to die, which meant Venebrea and Dolon had to hold his hair back and keep his head up so he didn’t face plant into the toilet as his panic attack-induced vomiting ran its course, which in turn meant that he needed to lay down for several hours and deal with his elder nestmates fusing over him while Fillie kept offering him some tea. Yup. That happened. Not his best moment, that’s for sure.
But it was fine. He was fine. His memory wasn’t always the best, but as long as he had his book and his loved ones to remind him of stuff, he would be fine.
So fine, in fact, that one day, around his seventh birthday, he decided he felt fine enough to leave home and go out into the world. And after much fretting, fussing and begging, his family granted his wish.
“Be sure to write, okay?” Mama asked as she handed him his suitcase.
“Be safe. Don’t forget your book.” Mom added with a cool yet tender hand that brushed against the ebony scales that now covered over a half of his body. She clickered something to Dad and beckoned him to join.
“Or to write.” Mama added with a flick of her tail.
Dad’s eyes were glassy with sorrow as he hugged him. Ranboo hugged him back and tried to ignore the stinging pain welling in the corners of his eyes.
“Never forget just how much we love you.” His father whispered with nothing less than pure, infinite love and endless, bottomless pride.
Ranboo nodded into his shoulder and squeezed him tight. “I won’t. I promise.”
Funny thing about promises. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to keep them, the world ends up breaking them for you.
Sometimes you end up a bit broken, too.
—
Tommy.
Tommyinnit.
Tommy. Danger. Careful. Kraken. Innit.
That was the name that filled Ranboo’s head every moment that came after his meeting with the boy it belonged to. And Ranboo wouldn’t have it any other way, because that there was a name he could never forget.
He knew he certainly wouldn’t forget how they met anytime soon. Kinda hard to forget the time you tapped a guy’s shoulder because you were trying to say hi, and instead ended up giving him a full on out of body experience with how spooked he looked at the tiny, gentle touch. Ranboo could hardly comprehend what the shorter boy was saying as he whirled around to yell at him. All he could tell was that he messed up, and the first thing he thought of to fix that was to give the boy a flower. More specifically, an allium that he’d mindlessly plucked while he wandered around the SMP when he first arrived and was chatting with(and fleeing from, because for some reason the guy wanted to freaking kill him the second he showed up, like seriously, what the hell ) the server’s admin.
Dream.
Cool guy. Kinda a creep, though, and not a big fan of personal space. Ranboo was happy when he finally decided to leave him alone. He did not want to deal with anymore of his “manhunts”.
He still remembered Tommy’s face when he offered the oversized purple puff. How could he ever possibly forget those beautiful diamond eyes going wide as his voice fell silent? How could he forget his scarred, sun-kissed skin and messy, dirty curls that shone in the Nether’s oppressive lighting? How could he forget the way he reached for the flower and took it, or the way he looked it over in his shaky yet delicate hands?
How could he forget that voice? That loud, brash yet undeniably gentle, caring voice, which held so much love and joy in every word, even when it was nothing more than a low, playful mumble.
All that love. All that care. All that gentle, tender kindness, wrapped up into a single, simple question that came with a simple, cheeky grin.
“You like flowers or something, Ranboo?”
Oh.
Oh .
Oh fuck .
Ranboo liked flowers, alright. Flowers, bees, butterflies and all the beauty of the natural world. He loved it with all his heart and soul. Always had.
But he also loved something else. Some one else. Someone small, someone loud and soft, harsh and meek all in one. Someone that wore red and white t-shirts that barely fit on his lanky frame, someone with a green bandana around his neck and a few colorful bracelets dangling from his slender wrists. Ranboo didn’t know where he got those bracelets, but he wouldn’t mind adding to the boy’s collection with a few glittery, shiny trinkets of his own design. If he’d let him, that is.
Ranboo was in love. Platonically. Ranboo was platonically in love. The distinction wasn’t important in his mind at the moment, because Ranboo “Beloved” Valiki was in love .
And oh, what a great love it was.
That’s all there was to it. He loved this treasure, this sweet and golden boy who shone like a brilliant star in the depths of this hellish cavern. He wanted to hold him. He wanted to hold him near and dear and care for his every need. That would be lovely, wouldn’t it? It sounded lovely. It sounded like heaven.
My little allium. His mind whispered with a sing-song tenderness.
My treasure. His instincts growled with a fierce yet gentle protectiveness.
A shiver ran down his spine as those two wonderful thoughts. He had to struggle not to purr as he confirmed for the boy that yeah, he did like flowers as they continued their conversation. But in the back of his mind, Ranboo was already reeling from the mere thought of having Tommy as his own, as his near and dear beloved.
My beloved.
What a lovely thought. What a beautiful, wonderful thought.
He knew for certain that it was one he could never, ever forget.
—
Bad.
Very bad.
Completely and utterly bad, the very definition of bad.
Bad things happening. Exile. The Butcher Army. Dream .
Bad things all the time, and there was nothing he could do about it. Ranboo just had to sit there and deal with all the bad, because if not, he’d be found out.
He was a traitor. He was a liar. He was bad, and everybody would hate him if they found out what he’d done. And the worst part of that was that for one reason or another, Ranboo could hardly figure out what he’d done, too .
But it was bad. Really really bad.
Tubbo wasn’t bad, though.
Tubbo was good. Tubbo was kind, gentle and patient with his memory issues. He had curly hair and soft fur the color of roasted chestnuts, his face was round and covered with odd looking scars that Ranboo was too kind to pry into. His eyes were pools of cerulean sheen, like wondrous tide pools that stared out at the world with an unyielding sense of curiosity and intrigue.
He was kind. He was funny. He was terrifying in a way that ranged from mildly mischievous to completely unhinged, but luckily for the two of them, Ranboo was into that.
Tubbo had to exile Tommy. Tubbo didn’t visit him once throughout. Ranboo didn’t get that, but he still managed to make time for both the horned brunette and his dull-eyed best friend throughout those bad, terrible few months.
He should’ve done more. He should’ve visited Tommy more often and done more to keep him safe from Dream. Dream was hurting Tommy. Dream was killing Tommy, bit by bit with each passing day. Ranboo was going to rip his gods damned throat out whenever he got the chance, but for now, he’d have to settle for holding his poor treasure as he let him spill his heart out onto his fancy suit and sensitive skin.
It burned. It hurt, but it was fine. A bit of scarring was nothing when it came to keeping Tommy safe. Well, as safe as he could be on that accursed island.
He should’ve told Tubbo. He should’ve told him everything, every single thing that was happening to Tommy. He should’ve described in visceral detail what he’d seen and what he’d heard, from the bloodied bruises to the poisonous words Dream spewed with every other breath. Maybe it wouldn’t have fixed anything. Maybe it would. Maybe nothing he or Tubbo could’ve done would’ve helped Tommy.
But he should’ve at least tried. He should’ve done more for his sweet, golden beloved.
Tubbo was his second beloved. There wasn’t an exact “ oh ” moment like there was with Tommy. He just loved Tubbo, and Tubbo loved him just the same. It was actually really common for enderians to have multiple partners(especially of the platonic variety), so it tracked that he’d find love in more than one person.
Now, if only his head would stop making it so hard to enjoy it.
If only that voice would shut up and leave him alone .
If only…
If only…
—
“Traitor.”
“You burned down the community house.”
“You stole the disc.”
“You betrayed L’manburg.”
“You betrayed the cabinet.”
“You betrayed the whole server. Tubbo, Tommy, Techno, Phil.”
“You betrayed everyone.”
“It’s your fault this happened.”
“It’s all your fault.”
“All…your…fault…”
:)
Ranboo screamed.
Ranboo cried.
Ranboo screamed and cried until he couldn’t anymore. He curled up, made himself good and small with his head tucked into his knees, and gasped for air as he trembled on the cold, hard floor. The air inside the panic room was heavy with the scent of salt and moisture. Drops of water fell from the cracked, obsidian ceiling and fell onto his head. He heard his scales hiss, but with all the tears streaming down his face, it wasn’t of much importance. It was dark. He was alone. He wanted to be held and comforted by somebody who would make the monster in his head go away, so he cried and screamed for anybody who could come and save him.
But nobody came.
He felt sick.
“Please…” He whispered to the empty air and wooden signs that bore down on him from all sides. His claws threatened to pierce through his skull as another heavy sob wracked his pitiful form. “Please…please stop…please go away…I got rid of you! I made you go! Why are you back, why are you doing this to me? Why ?”
The voice laughed. It laughed and it laughed as sneered and jeered from inside his pounding skull.
“Because you’re fun , Ranboo.” It answered with wicked delight. “You’re so fun to play with, and so easy to push around. I didn’t even have to do much when you first showed up, y’know? You didn’t even bother fighting back when I jabbed that needle into this screwed up little head of yours. You just laid there and cried out for your Mama the whole time like a fucking baby ! You were basically asking for it!”
Mama.
Ranboo’s eyes snapped open. As the voice broke out into another fit of manic cackling, he reached out and grabbed the worn, brown book laying on the floor beside him. He cracked it open and began desperately flicking through its yellowed(and now slightly dampened) pages.
The voice moaned .
“ Ooooooh , boo- hoooo . Poor little Ranboo needs his wittle memory book to remember his Mama’s faaace . Poor, poor little guy. Can’t remember jackshit on his own and needs everyone to baby him just to make it through the day. That’s why they let you go, you know. Your parents were desperate to be rid of you. They’re probably out in the courtyard having a picnic right now, under the stars. They’re probably laughing and eating all those chorus fruit tarts you used to make with Dada when you were all teeny tiny, and a stupid, ugly little girl . You’re still all those things. You’re just a really, really good liar, aren’t you?”
His hands shook. Flipping to one of the earlier pages, he stopped to stare at the small photograph tapped inside.
His breath hitched.
“W-who…” He swallowed thickly the taste of bile on his tongue as he squinted at the photo. It was a picture of his family. All his siblings, nieces, nephews, and cousins. Aunts, uncles and in-laws. All happy and smiling in their suits and gowns as they looked into the camera.
He didn’t recognize any of them.
He didn’t know these people.
He didn’t know their names or faces, just that he loved them and that they were his family.
His family .
“W-who…who’s…whose Mama?” He asked in a feeble whisper. “W-which one? Which one is Mama? M-mama, I-” He hiccuped.
“I…I forgot…”
The voice screamed with laughter as he shrieked and threw the book down. It began babbling at him in a maddening cacophony of taunts and jeers, but the music blaring in his brain swallowed it whole.
Music. There was music. Loud, deafening music that came from the walls and floor. It screamed and it whispered as he curled back up and begged for it to be over.
A green smile stared at him from across the tiny room. It disappeared when he blinked.
He screamed.
The song continued to play…
—
It was over.
Dream was gone.
Ranboo was free .
Well, kind of. He was still an over emotional, anxious, spacey and forgetful mess. He still couldn’t remember anything from before he joined the server, save for a few brief flashes of a luxurious manor and a pair of muddy brown eyes. But he was free enough to relax a bit and finally enjoy his life with Tubbo.
They had a platonic marriage now. Ranboo spent weeks working on the rings. Tubbo’s was gold so it went well with his sparkly blue eyes and chestnut fur. Ranboo’s was silver because silver was one of his favorite colors.
They had a mansion. Foolish built it across the sea from the new town Tubbo built so there was room for more houses and farms, and also to perverse the spruce forest that took up the majority of the small, snowy island. Tubbo wasn’t too happy about it at first, but after a bit of arguing and hugging, they came to a compromise and followed through with it together.
The new town was called Snowchester. It was home. It reminded Ranboo of home, of a home he could hardly remember but still loved with all he had.
They had a son. His name was Michael. He was perfect. What more was there to say?
Oh.
And Ranboo joined the Syndicate…and had also kinda maybe sorta moved in with Philza and Technoblade after they destroyed L’manburg. After he watched them destroy L’manburg.
He still didn’t know why the heck he did that. It was stupid, really, jumping ship and allying himself with the two men that chose mindless revenge and horrific violence. The two men that chose Dream .
But…they were good, weren’t they?
Philza and Techno were good to him. They took him in after the dust had settled and the unfinished symphony was left to rot. They gave him a place to stay, warm food and good company.
Techno took him under his wing and made him into his apprentice! They did sparring matches and all sorts of cool, neat, sometimes incredibly painful and awfully frightening stuff! Sometimes Techno got a bit carried away and didn’t listen when he called for a timeout. Sometimes he’d smile as he wacked him with the flat end of his netherrite axe. The same axe that Tommy gave him. The same one that Tommy said he “couldn’t stand looking at” anymore. The same axe Ranboo gifted to Technoblade as a thank you present for taking him in. Then he’d laugh that hearty laugh of his as he helped him up, shoved him on the shoulder and told him to clean himself up for that day’s meeting.
Sometimes Ranboo would have to limp his way back to his little cave next door, where he’d pass out on the bed and lay until the agony of his possibly broken ribcage ebbed into a bearable ache.
Sometimes Ranboo was scared that Techno wouldn’t act so jolly next time.
Sometimes he wondered if that look on his face, the one that was cruel, bestial and hungry was the real Technoblade or just the voices that he claimed spoke to him throughout the day taking control.
Sometimes he was scared.
Sometimes Technoblade scared him.
Sometimes he wanted to leave.
But the Blood God did not care for betrayal, did he?
Ranboo did not want to think about that. That made him feel bad. That made him feel sick .
Techno was okay. Techno was fine. Ranboo was just overreacting and letting his emotions get the better of him like he always did. Yeah. That’s all.
Philza was okay, too. He was nice. He helped Ranboo calm down when he couldn’t remember stuff, and after that they had tea and watched the snow fall outside of the cozy cabin. Philza would join in on his and Techno’s sparring sessions once in a while. That was always fun, and much less painful, too.
He dimly recalled a memory of Phil visiting him one gray, misty morning. It was early. He had come over to deliver some tea and a few loaves of bread. Ranboo greeted him kindly while he worked on picking out what earrings he wanted to wear that day as he looked into a nearby mirror.
Philza found that oddly intriguing, for whatever reason.
“You wear an awful lot of jewelry, don’t you?” He asked with raised brow and crossed arms. “For a guy, I mean. Most fellas I know leave the sparkly bits to their girls. But not you…”
There was something about the way he said it that made Ranboo freeze. It sounded… bad ? Untrusting. An accusation, maybe?
You don’t like that about me, do you?
He looked at him through the mirror and tilted his head slightly. “Yeah…? Is…is that a…a problem, Phil?”
Philza waved him off while shaking his head. Despite how earnest he seemed, Ranboo felt something sickly stirring in his gut as the crow avian dismissed his worrisome inquiry with a small, sly grin.
“No. No, not at all mate. Not at all…” He trailed off as his eyes wandered over to the book sitting on the desk by Ranboo’s bed. It wasn’t a very comfortable bed. Too small, not enough room for his legs.
Too cold.
Too empty.
Phil cleared his throat and gestured towards the journal. “Ya been writin’ your stuff down? Need any reminding or whatever? I’m not too busy today. If ya want, I can brew a few cups and have a sit with you to see if we can boggle yer head a bit.”
Ranboo shook his head, now mildly uncomfortable with the thought of letting Phil stay in his house, let alone his personal space any longer. He kept a friendly smile as he looked at the aged warrior.
“Oh, n-no, it’s fine! I’m just gonna go out and do a bit of mining in the Nether. I’m good.”
“Need any company?” Phil was now leaning against the doorframe with a slight scowl creasing his wrinkle brow. His nordic blue eyes held a darkness that made Ranboo’s scales feel a bit too tight.
Stuck. Trapped. Too much.
He shook his head again and forced his smile to stretch a bit more. “No, I’m okay! Thank you for offering, though, really.”
Phil hummed in the back of his throat. Ranboo turned back to the mirror and tried to focus on whether or not he wanted the amethyst stars or ruby-studded hoops, but the black winged shadow lingering behind him continued to overstay his welcome. Phil spoke after several long, tense moments of awkward, deafening silence.
“I like you, Ranboo.” He said without an ounce of emotion.
Ranboo glanced at him and batted his lashes. “O-oh…? Uh. Thank…you?”
The corners of Phil’s mouth wrinkled as he hummed and frowned. He nodded his head lazily as he straightened up and began to turn away, much to Ranboo’s delight.
He had one last thing to say before he took his leave. Something that would forever puzzle the seventeenth prince of House Valiki until the day he died.
“You’re quiet. The world needs more quiet kids.”
And with that he was gone.
Ranboo sometimes wondered what he meant by that. But something told him it was best not to ponder too much the nonsensical ramblings of a bitter, smarmy, nasty old crow.
He decided to go with the hoops. Today felt like a hoop kind of day.
—
“Careful Ranboo, dear. Remember your posture. Bend your knees, and move with your hips when you swing for the best control and momentum.”
Ranboo panted as he took in XD’s advice. The god stood across from him on the opposite side of the training yard located in the mansion’s backyard. They wore only a plain white blouse and black trousers, and in their hands they wielded an enormous greatsword made of a greenish-blue metal that glowed with an ethereal light.
He let out a huff and smiled at them. “Alright!” He called as he readied his own weapon.
Ever since he started writing to his family back in Nightreach, his parents started sending him gifts whenever they possibly could. One such gift included a netherrite axe that had been in his great grandmother’s private armory for a few decades at this point, but that she suddenly decided to hand down to him for no apparent reason. He was confused of course, but grateful for the heartfelt note that came with the Axe of the End.
“For Ranboo, my darling enderstar.”
He still needed to get around to writing her a proper thank you letter. And maybe a gift to go with it. Cookies would be nice, or maybe a nice ender pearl necklace like the ones she let him wear when he was small and spending time with her in the palace’s courtyard.
He raised the axe up and readied himself. The large green eye embedded into its hilt gleamed in the icy sunlight. “I’m ready when you are!”
XD gave a nod of affirmation. In a flash of turquoise, their greatsword transformed into one that was small enough to be held in one hand. Its blade left a luminous trail as they slashed at the open air and brought it to their side.
With one last moment of confirmation, they lunged at full speed.
Ranboo’s shield was up in an instant. He tensed as XD’s sword collided with its reinforced hull, the force of the impact forcing him to dig in his heels and bend his knees just to avoid being knocked down. XD used this brief moment to their advantage, and in a whirl of white feathers they jumped back and raised their sword up high.
But Ranboo was ready. “Nope!”
A metallic clang rang out as the axe collided with the god’s sword. XD barked out a jolly laugh as they were forced to adapt, and Ranboo followed their previous example and rushed to step away as their sword began to change.
“ Very good , sweetheart!” XD chimed with genuine admiration. The blade of their sword stretched and twisted into a narrow point, and its hilt became a long, silver pole as it transformed into a divine spear. “Now, remember your footing. Just like we practiced. Left foot, right foot, pace with the beat. Watch my arms.”
Ranboo nodded and was already several steps away by the time XD began their offense. Their attacks started slow at first, giving him ample time to warm up for their more vicious jabs. They continued to advise him as he darted to their side.
Left foot, right foot, left, right, left, right. His feet tapped against the ground like raindrops on a metal roof, going tiptaptiptap with each fleeting step. Maybe he wasn’t able to dance in the rain, but he sure as hell could dance like it.
“Watch your step!” XD warned cheekily as they swiped at his feet.
Ranboo yelped and jumped away just in time. He shot XD a glare and frowned while keeping up the pace.
“Hey, that’s cheating!” He said with a small whine.
XD tutted while shaking their head. “All’s fair on the field of conflict, my dear. Parry!”
Ranboo chuckled as he deflected another blow. Sometimes, in moments like these, he was finally able to understand just why exactly Tommy often found himself so annoyed by his godly father.
But that didn’t make him appreciate XD any less. Quite the opposite.
He lowered his axe and shield slightly. XD raised their once again transformed greatsword up to attack, but stopped when they noticed he’d ceased his previous tempo. They tilted their head in confusion.
“Ranboo? Are you alright? Do you want to go in and take a break?”
Ranboo kept a soft smile on his face as he met the universe’s eyes. There was a deep concern covering XD’s face, one that made him feel just a teeny bit guilty for what he was about to do.
He shook his head. “Nope. I’m okay. Just wanted to tell you how much I love and appreciate you, XD. You’re really great and I don’t think I tell you that enough.”
XD melted . In a blink of an eye their weapon was gone, and in another they were right in front of him with their arms open and wings wide. They leaned down to hug him as they let out a high-pitched coo.
“ Oooooh Ran- booooo , honey! Thank you, that’s so very sweet and kind of you to say -”
A croak escaped their throat as Ranboo jammed the axe into their belly. It did not hurt them. They didn’t bleed, scream or otherwise do any of the typical behaviors one would expect from somebody who had an axe stabbed into their stomach. The axe itself simply phased through their body, its purple blade sticking part way out along with the dark hilt while the rest was buried inside.
XD froze then blinked. Ranboo struggled to stifle his laughter as their eyes slowly wandered down to the weapon embedded in their body, and a few bubbly giggles escaped as their still smiling mouth hung open while they moved to remove it. They pulled it out effortlessly and held it.
“You…you are…wow.” They looked at the axe and back at Ranboo a few times. He continued to struggle as their eyelids fluttered like a pair of confused butterflies that couldn’t decide whether to stay or take flight. “You really went and did that, huh? Like wow. Legit, I am… wow .”
Ranboo snickered. He struggled to get the words out between the bits of shaky, breathy laughter that managed to squeeze their way out from his tightly clenched chest.
“W-well, you did say all’s fair on the f-f-field of conflict , right?” He snorted and cupped a hand over his mouth. “I’m just… following your advice, XD! That’s all!”
As Ranboo finally gave in to his hysteria, XD let out a sigh. They stared and shook their head at him as he doubled over and cackled uncontrollably. Ranboo could barely breathe while the god set the axe down. He managed to look up in time to see them kneel down in front of him, and he was finally able to get some air as they smiled softly and finally got a proper, non-trickery based hug.
XD gave good hugs. Ranboo sometimes forgot how much he missed being hugged by someone who was taller than him. He forgot how warm it was, how soft and safe and small it made him feel to be wrapped up and held in another person’s arms. Considering the fact that he was one of the tallest people around these parts, he rarely got the chance to indulge in such a simple yet special form of affection. XD changed that, and now Ranboo could get all the hugs all of the time from the towering deity.
And it…was… awesome . He loved it and did not feel even a bit embarrassed about letting himself go wild with the snuggles and cuddles he received from the universe. And the universe spared no expense in giving him the tender care he so desperately craved.
A happy chitter escaped his throat.
“⎅⏃⎅⏃.”
XD answered with a low “woo- whoop ” sound that had a similar hum to that of their golden, glowing halo.
“⏚⏃⏚⊬.”
Sighing, Ranboo felt his body grow heavy as a yawn broke through his lips. XD stood up and offered him their hand, which he took while rubbing a claw over his ruby red eye.
“Let’s call it even for now, hm?” They waited for him to slide off his shield before they began guiding him back towards the mansion. Through one of the grand structure’s windows came a sharp squawk followed by a fit of childish laughter, which was in turn followed by the low, timber noise of Tubbo’s voice. Tommy snapped back with a retort to whatever was said. Tubbo answered it with a groan that was accompanied by the sound of a closing door. Laughter could be heard through the window shortly after.
Ranboo smiled, then nodded. “Yeah, that’s fair. Sorry for uh, stabbing you. That was rude.”
XD waved him off with a flick of their wings. “Oh, it’s fine, dear. No harm done. Do you want some tea? Maybe some vanilla cinnamon or spearmint?”
“Hmmm…mint.” Ranboo’s ear went limp as he yawned again. XD nodded.
Off in the far distance, a crow let out a husky caw before taking flight. Ranboo hummed as he leaned into XD’s side and basked in the angelic softness of their white, dove-like wings. XD gave his hand a squeeze and chuckled as they carried along up the stairs leading to the mansion door.
“Oh, sweet thing…”
—
“Love ya, Boo.”
“Love you too, Bee.”
He was never going to get tired of that. Just saying those simple words, that tiny, easy little phase would never fail to set his soul alight. Call it cliché, but telling the people that he cared for that he loved them really was the highlight of Ranboo’s day.
Highlight of his life, really.
Love. He loved so many people. He loved Tubbo, Michael, Tommy, XD. He loved Puffy and appreciated all she’d done for both him and his partner, with either babysitting Michael or giving them some much, much needed therapy. Tubbo still owed him a few emeralds for that bet they placed when Ranboo finally managed to drag his fluffy butt into the office for the first time. He knew that he was never going to get a single nugget out of that little gold digger of his, but a guy could hope, couldn’t he.
He loved his family. Both of them, both the one here in Snowchester and the one far up in the distant north. It was an indescribable relief when he could finally remember them again. Thank the gods that that green bastard’s potion or whatever wore off a few weeks after Tommy got out of the prison. Thank the gods that now, when it was dark and quiet, the only voice in Ranboo’s head was a faded, blurry shell.
A stain. Just a small one. It would fade one day, and one day he would be completely and utterly free of the green smile that haunted him. Maybe not completely , but mostly.
And mostly was good enough for Ranboo.
There was something missing, though. Some one missing from this idyllic, love-filled life he’d found for himself here among the snow and pines. Someone with diamond eyes, golden hair and a warm, torn, gentle heart.
One day, sweet treasure. One day you’ll be mine. Mine and Bo’s, for now until forever. Just gotta wait until the perfect moment to bring you into our hearts, and then I can keep you close like I’ve always wanted.
Oh. And Tubbo will be there, too. Obviously. That…that goes without saying.
Yeah…
Speaking of treasure, they had finally arrived at their destination.
Before the pair stood a large greenhouse that was located a little ways away from Snowchester. To the west of where he stood, Ranboo could plainly see a cobblestone pillar rising up into the cold midmorning sky. A few lazy seagulls circled its flat peak and squawked as they danced on the wind.
The greenhouse itself wasn’t much upon a first glance. It was decent sized, around twenty feet tall and twice as long with a strong foundation of stone bricks. Its glass walls shone brightly beneath the sun, like sheets of purified crystal that curved into a smooth, rounded arc near the top. Bands of thick, sturdy iron held the whole structure in place, ensuring that it wouldn’t go toppling over at the slightest strong breeze.
A wooden sign hung above its rectangular door. It was a simple sign that had wobbly, messy writing on its flat, unpolished surface. Whoever wrote it put more time and effort into the delicate looking flowers that surrounded the words than the words themselves. Ranboo found that to be a rather endearing thought.
The sign read as follows: Big Man Tommyinnit’s Greenhouse! We have flowers and similar stuff! Please don’t come in if I don’t know you, it makes me uncomfortable, and if you have to come in and I don’t know you, knock first! Pog!
Below the final word was a childish depiction of a smiling face with big, angry eyebrows. Ranboo chuckled as its beady eyes stared into his soul.
He smiled. “He’s adorable, isn’t he?”
Looking down beside him, Ranboo was met with his husband’s bright eyes and smiling face. The goat hybrid nodded in agreement as they both looked back at the door.
“Yeah.” Tubbo said softly while rubbing his hands together in an attempt to warm them slightly. Goat hybrids were as cold-resistant as ender hybrids, but that thick wool coat was more than enough to keep Tubbo nice and toasty most days. Sometimes Ranboo would see him snuggling with it when he took a nap on the living room floor, because for some reason Tubbo really liked taking naps on the living room floor.
He also liked to bury his nose in the little patch Tommy had sewn onto the coat’s sleeves ages ago. Ranboo still needed to get around to asking for some Big Man quality needlework himself. Couldn’t let Tubbo get too far ahead of him in their oh so epic battle of fierce and potentially(but not really) deadly platonic seduction now, could he?
Tubbo let out a sigh that produced a large cloud of mist. “He is. Do you think we need to knock first, or?”
Ranboo shrugged. “Eh, probably not? It says knock if he doesn’t know you, and last I checked he definitely knows us. So I think it’s fine.”
They both nodded in agreement as Ranboo reached to open up the door. Its handle was smooth and made of a silvery metal that was adorned with black engraving. As he touched it, he felt an odd sensation rush through his body, starting in his hand and ending at the tips of his ears. It was a light buzz, sort of like a quick flash of pins and needles that went through him in an instant before ebbing into a barely noticeable hum that wormed its way into the spaces between his black and white scales, where it sat and waited to see what he’d do next.
It was not bad, nor did it hurt. It tingled, lingered for a brief second, then left as he pulled the door open.
A wave of thick, humid warmth washed over him. With it came the strong, heavy scent of moisture and damp earth, which was mixed with the fragrant aroma of freshly bloomed flowers. A soft yellow light poured out through the opened door, and once Ranboo’s eyes had finished adjusting to it, he was able to see what lay beyond those crystal walls and iron frames.
XD was a god. That was common knowledge among the handful of people that knew the deity personally. XD was a god, a divine and magical entity with the power to shape reality to their will with a single thought. Normally this manifested itself in them summoning basic items whenever the trio requested them, and normally they only summoned a bit of food or some fresh blankets alongside whatever else was asked of them.
Another example of their divine influence was the closet door in their bedroom, which was also an area brimming with magical energy and beautiful, star speckled walls. The closet door was supposed to lead right back out into the upstairs hallway. That’s what doors were supposed to do. They led you one way, then back to the one you came. But not that door. And not this door, either.
This door led to a garden. To Tommy’s garden, a special place that was made just for him by the universe itself.
And it was beautiful. There weren't many other words in the English language that Ranboo could use to describe the sight laid out before him. Tubbo seemed equally taken if that gasp he made just now was anything to go off of, a gasp that Ranboo mimicked as he took in the scene with wide, curious eyes.
First was the size. The size of this garden was, by all means, impossible. It was huge , huge enough that it couldn’t possibly fit into such a relatively small greenhouse.
But it did. This garden, which was ovaluar in shape and surrounded by high, stone walls that were in turn covered in thick vines and flowering ivy, fit perfectly within its glass walls in a way that was undeniably magical in nature. Reality itself seemed to give way to a fantastical form of artistry within, allowing the sky inside this pocket dimension(or whatever it was) to reach to near unfathomable heights. The sky was a bright, cerulean dome that covered the garden completely, even going so far as to stretch to whatever lay beyond those high stone walls, and in it was a large lightsource that stood in place of the typical sun. Fluffy white wisps stretched across the horizon, soft and curled like freshly made cotton candy left to drift across the windows. Some of them had a slight tint around the edge that was pink, peach or lilac in hue. A few lucky ones had a periwinkle tinge.
Then there was the garden itself. Ranboo had seen many gardens in his time, either ones that his family owned or ones he was left in while his parents and older siblings attended to official business. He’d many fond memories of such gardens, but knew they paled in comparison to the one laid out before him.
Quaint paths made of smooth, rounded cobbles. Neat beds of colorful flowers that reached up from rows of grayish bricks and sheets of peat moss that spread out beneath the trees. These trees were tall, with rich brown bark and big, shiny green leaves that left a cozy shade on the twisty paths below, which were lined with all manner of delicately colored blooms and soft, round shrubs. A dozen or so lotus flowers floated peacefully on the surface of a pond that took up the east side of the garden. Their pale petals sat nestled atop glossy green lily pads, which bobbed in the lazy breeze that sent the leaves and brushes rustling as it blew throughout the garden.
There were lattice arches and stone benches, ceramic pots and glazed urns, wooden boxes that were home to newly planted starters and a handful of butterflies. One section of the garden appeared to be dedicated entirely to sunflowers, all of which stood proud and tall as they turned their giant, yellow heads towards the sky.
Each and every one was well tended and well loved. Tommy always took such good care of his gardens.
A fountain stood in the middle of it all, a simplistic yet undeniably artful centerpiece. It was made of polished marble and had a singular spout on top of its three circular levels. Water flowed from it in a curtain of silver that ended in a misty fog. Ranboo made a mental note not to get too close so he could avoid any irritation from the vapors.
“Holy shit…” Tubbo breathed with awe.
“Yeah.” Ranboo nodded as he took it all in and moved to step inside. “What you just said. C’mon, let’s go find him.”
Tubbo hurried after and shut the door behind him. It was built into the stone wall, now a part of the whimsical little world they’d found themselves in. Ranboo dimly wondered what those gemstones embedded into its frame were for. Decoration, maybe?
He shrugged it off.
They both made their way along the winding path, slowly but surely taking in the sights, smells and sounds as they went. Ranboo could hear all manner of insects buzzing along with the twittering from some nearby birds. He saw a few flutter by overhead, their feathers catching the light as they hopped between their various branches and perches.
A few butterflies found their way over to him. He chuckled as their yellow wings brushed against his ears and tickled his nose. He gave them a few harmless swipes, but one particularly courageous soul decided to find its way into his monochrome curls, which it sat nestled among the black and white locks with its wings still and antennas perked.
Tubbo got himself stuck with a few fluttery friends of his own, as well. A singular bee planted itself firmly on his forehead, its only response to the boy’s protests being to buzz and glare at him with its compound eyes.
Tubbo sighed. “Motherfucker…”
“I thought you liked bees?” Ranboo asked teasingly.
Tubbo shot him a glare. One of his ears startled the azure butterfly resting on it by flicking with annoyance.
“Fuck you.” He growled harmlessly.
“Love you too, baby.” Ranboo offered in a sickly sweet chime.
They both laughed.
Singing could be heard as they neared the garden’s center. Beautiful, wonderful singing that went along with the soothing, almost melancholic music that was being played from some manner of radio. The voice was light and a bit raspy around the edges, which Ranboo guessed was either from tiredness or lack of hydration. His claws trapped against the water bottle he’d tucked into his pockets before leaving.
It was a nice song. Familiar, in a way, though he couldn’t quite recall why.
Eh. Whatever. He didn’t want to worry about that right now. Right now, in this moment, in this garden away from the world, he just wanted to relax and listen to his treasure sing.
“ Let’s go in the garden. You’ll find something waiting.”
“Right there where you left it, lying upside down.”
“When you finally find it, you’ll see how it’s faded.”
“The underside is lighter, when you turn it around.”
“Everything stays right where you left it. Everything stays, but it still changes.”
“Ever so slightly…daily and nightly. In little ways.”
“When everything stays.”
Ranboo hummed along as he and Tubbo rounded the last bend. Standing there, by the fountain, in front of some half filled pots surrounded by bags of dirt and tiny sprouts, was Tommy. He wore a pair of torn up jeans and a baggy, button up flannel shirt, on top of which he had a green apron that reached down to his strap-on sandals. A wide-brimmed sun hat sat atop his head, its base covered in buttercups and daisies that were woven into a thin, blue ribbon. His hair was tied up into a messy ponytail that was already coming undone, and his arms and face were covered in a thick layer of dirt, sweet, and a few stray petals that clung to his cheeks.
He continued to sing in that same sweet, lovely little voice of his. It wasn’t really little. Tommy’s voice was usually quite big and loud, a bit too much so depending on who you asked. But people who said Tommy was too loud didn’t realize just how precious a treasure the boy really was.
They didn’t know the real Tommy. They didn’t know the sweet, gentle child that sang to the flowers as he tucked them into the earth. They didn’t know how kind he was, how fundamentally good of a soul they had in their midst. No, they just knew that Tommy was loud and talked back too much, and to them, that was bad. Tommy wasn’t quiet. Tommy didn’t listen. Tommy wasn’t a mindless, obedient little servant that did anything and everything he was told without question, and for that, he was a menace to people that thrived off of being obeyed and feared .
Ranboo thought people like that were a bunch of idiots that needed to shut the hell up before he gave them what for. But maybe that was just his instincts getting the better of him again. That was happening a lot more than usual lately, weirdly enough.
“Go down to the ocean. The crystal tide is raising. Water’s gotten higher as the shore washes out.”
“Keep your eyes wide open, even when the sun is blazing.”
“The moon controls the tides, it could cause you to drown.”
“Everything stays right where you left it.”
“Everything stays, but it still changes.”
Ever so slightly, daily and nightly.”
“In little ways, when everything stays.”
He finished with a soft sigh. Ranboo opened his mouth to say something, but Tubbo was already ahead of him. He greeted the avian with a loving smile.
“Hey, Toms!”
Tommy blinked and looked up. A smile broke out onto his face as soon as he registered who it was, and Ranboo just about melted on the spot when he heard the boy speak.
“Bo, Boo! Hi!” Tommy scrambled to his feet and rushed to meet them. Ranboo laughed as the blonde threw himself into his arms, and he continued to do so as Tubbo let out an offended scoff and began to pout. Tommy made a tiny chirp and quickly gave the brunette a hug as well, snuggling his way into the shorter teen’s arms and babbling out a soft apology. Tubbo rolled his eyes but visibly eased into the embrace.
“Hey, Tommy. Are you doing alright?” Ranboo offered the shorter teen a drink as he and Tubbo both giggled and pulled apart. Tommy’s eyes lit up. He accepted it eagerly and thanked Ranboo before he began chugging.
He sighed once he was done, wiped a dirty sleeve over his already muddied face, and beamed as he answered with a nod. “Yup! Doin’ mighty poggers, I must say. My garden’s doing great.”
“I see that!” Ranboo glanced at a nearby urn that was practically bursting with marigolds. Tommy swelled up with pride while Tubbo walked over to the radio that was still playing the song from earlier on loop. “Do you wanna take a little break?”
Tommy tilted his head in confusion. Tubbo pressed a few buttons and changed the station. An acoustic guitar could now be heard through the speakers, its warm strum causing Tommy’s eyes to widen as Ranboo offered his hand.
The enderian cracked a charming grin. “Maybe I have this dance, little treasure?”
Tommy said nothing, but simply nodded as he took the older’s offer and let Ranboo do the rest. Behind them, Tubbo took a seat and pulled out his phone so he could film the two dancing. Ranboo could tell he was not happy about having to wait for his turn, but he could also tell that Tubbo was more concerned with Tommy’s personal happiness. They both were. And that’s all that mattered.
Ranboo sang as he carefully moved Tommy along to the beat. The boy stumbled a little bit at the start, but Ranboo was quick to catch him and to wrap a protective arm around the small of his back. Tommy let out a tiny squeak of embarrassment. Ranboo just smiled and pressed a kiss against his forehead.
“Hold me close and hold me fast. The magic spell you cast. This is la vie en rose.”
“When you kiss me heaven sighs, and though I close my eyes. This is la vie en rose.”
“When you press me to your heart, I’m in a world apart, where roses bloom.”
“And when you speak angels sing from above. Everyday words seem to turn into love songs.”
“Give your heart and soul to me, and life will always be la vie en rose.”
Ranboo sang. They danced. The song continued to play, peaceful and content.
Content. That’s what this was. That’s how he felt, right now at this very moment. Right now, he wasn’t worried. He wasn’t scared, stressed or frightened by his own shadow. He wasn’t worn down and burdened by the weight of the world, by people’s judgement or opinions of him.
He was not a traitor.
He was not a liar.
He was not a puppet on a string being pulled apart by a depraved, twisted master. Nor was he a trophy on display, a doll meant to sit and be silent so those who used him to further their own destructive means could avoid their overdue criticism.
He wasn’t quiet. Not anymore.
Now, he was free. Free to love and be loved. Free to love his beloveds and to love himself. Free to love the universe, and to seek comfort that did not come at the price of his freewill.
He was free to dance.
He was free to sing.
He was free to pick all the flowers his heart desired, and he was free to share them with the ones he loved whenever he wished.
Ranboo was free, and Ranboo was loved.