Chapter 1: Song for Someone
Chapter Text
So, here’s the deal- Amy and I grew apart. That’s it. We went to separate colleges and met different people and the distance and the workload and the history well, it just became too much. I’ll always love her, she was my best friend but sometimes people just outgrow each other, you know?
Karma stood staring at herself in the mirror, forcing herself to believe the lies that had just tumbled out of her mouth. Sure, they weren’t all lies. She and Amy had grown apart, she knew that. Amy had gone to UCLA on a scholarship for film and Karma had gone to Houston to study music, mainly to be closer to her parents after her dad’s health scare during high school. She was terrified of going any further than that. Amy was so busy all the time wrapped up in her new LA lifestyle, and Karma was playing any gig she could find. The Facetimes became shorter, the texts less frequent. Eventually, like always, a torrent of miscommunication and old jealousy crept in and severed the bond already hanging by a thread. So yeah, it wasn’t all lies, but it wasn’t the whole truth either.
Over time, contact increased, but only a short ‘happy birthday’ or a polite like of an Instagram post. Karma realised eventually that she didn’t really know Amy at all anymore. She didn’t know what her favourite donut place was in LA, or whether she still carved a giant hole in tubs of cake frosting like she was excavating along with the archaeologists in documentaries. Karma had lost count of how many lists she’d made of TV shows Amy might like, or how many songs she’d almost sent to Amy at 3am.
Parts of Amy were everywhere for Karma. No matter how mad she had been, how damaged her heart felt, she couldn’t let go. Scrapped letters to Amy were stuffed into her desk drawers, pictures of them together secretly stuck on the wall behind her bed, Amy’s clothes that Karma passed off as her own she’d had them shoved in her closet that long.
No, Karma definitely couldn’t let go. In fact, Let Go was the first song she’d ever written that she felt truly proud of. It had gotten 5,000 streams on Spotify when she managed to independently release it with some gig money, and it had gotten her enough fans to play some bigger shows. It’s still growing. Nobody knows it's about Amy…definitely not Amy herself.
It doesn’t matter now, Karma thought to herself. Amy was going to hear the song today, along with almost everyone else from high school.
Penelope had had the idea for a reunion so soon, claiming we were her favourite year group from Hester despite all the drama. As far as Karma was aware, Liam, Lauren, Shane, Wade, Felix, even Lisbeth and Leila were all coming. And Amy. Karma’s head started spinning at just the thought of Amy being there. Karma still knew Amy at least a little because it turns out Amy hadn’t wanted to go at all.
According to Lauren, Amy had called this little reunion stupid at least 100 times but had agreed to go because she owed Lauren a favour for something. Lauren still disliked Karma, so Karma assumed this heads up was more to make Amy’s night as drama free as possible. Makes sense, Karma thought. I’ve caused enough drama already.
So here Karma was, practising a speech just like back in high school, expecting Vashti to whip out her phone and utter ‘on the record?’ with her eyebrows raised.
“This is so fucking stupid”, Karma said out loud. What was she thinking? Nobody was going to care that much. They were old news. Her classmates had kids, partners, dogs, careers. Nobody gave a shit about high school drama and people growing apart, everyone had. The only people who had stayed permanent friends were Shane and Liam, which no one could say they surprised about. There was no need to take sides anymore. Liam and Karma had been over for years, so had Karma and Amy’s ‘thing’. Shane was obviously closer to Amy than Karma, but it still stung knowing that Shane knew more about her now than she did.
She’d lost count of how many times he’d tried to get her to reach out to Amy, or Amy to her; but they were both as stubborn as ever, and afraid. Afraid of actually realising they had become strangers, at most acquaintances. But the time for fear was gone. Amy was going to be there, in that room, an hour from now.
Chapter 2: Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of
Chapter Text
Amy’s POV
Amy sat staring at the dirty brown table, the kind which had been fallen into so many times that the legs were all wobbly. She kept gripping onto her Jack Daniels for dear life, until Shane gently prised her hands away.
“If you hold on to that glass any tighter, you’ll smash it quicker than if Jackson here belted some high notes.” Shane chuckled.
“I can’t help it,” Amy replied glumly. “I’m not a fan of people or reminiscing.”
“Come on, we both know that’s not the reason. She’s not going to bite you know. Not unless you want her to,” Shane winked before resting his head on Jackson’s shoulder.
“Hey now! Leave Amy and my singing alone Shane, you know you love it when I belt some Ariana.” Jackson smiled sympathetically at Amy.
Amy returned a weak smile. She really was grateful that Jackson was here. He kept Shane in line, he made her laugh, and he had the largest collection of Converse Amy had ever seen. What wasn’t to like? He was perfect for Shane in every way, down to them taking the same degree in fashion. Amy’s mind wandered, thinking about how Karma had once been perfect for her in every way too. She quickly pushed the thoughts from her mind. Fuck no, she thought. I can’t go back there again; this isn’t high school. This stupid fucking reunion.
Amy downed her Jack Daniels, spun her glass in a 360 and grabbed a handful of leftover ice, throwing it at Shane.
“You’re an ass, Shane. You’re lucky I still love you.” Amy smirked.
“HEY! This is brand new Gucci, you don’t fuck with Gucci!”
Amy laughed and got up, stretching out her cramped hands above her head. “I’m gonna get another drink, you guys want anything?”
“Nah I’m good, I’ve got that stupid speech to do before I can get fucked up. Guess there was a downside to being the most popular guy in high school.” Shane said.
“I’m good too thanks,” Jackson replied. “Got to keep pretty boy’s ego here in check for a while.”
Amy laughed and made her way over to the bar, anxious to avoid everyone as much as possible. She hated small talk and she’d hated high school for the most part. If Lauren hadn’t done her that favour, she could be in bed lounging in sweats watching the new David Attenborough documentary on Netflix. She sighed looking at the queue and slid into one of the available seats by the bar, checking any social media she could to avoid socialising. She was about to retweet a nature documentary meme when she heard the sound she’d been both craving and anxious to avoid all day.
“Two shots of tequila, and two whiskeys please. Yeah just over here, thank you so much.”
Amy had to force her eyes to stay glued to her phone. She’d heard that voice thousands of times but this time each word seemed to pierce her heart like a knife. A lump appeared in her throat. She’d missed that voice. Karma’s voice alone filled a tiny part of the hole she’d felt in her ever since she left Austin. Amy was sure without even looking up that Karma was here with somebody, a boyfriend or even a fiancé. So Amy nearly dropped her phone when a whiskey and a tequila were placed in front of her. She fought the urge to look up until she saw something green flash in the corner of her eye.
“Thought you might need this.” Karma laughed nervously. Amy still couldn’t bring herself to look up, even though everything else in the room seemed to have disappeared.
“Here,” Karma said softly. “Gotta knock it back right, right?” Karma breezily laughed while holding out a salt-shaker and a piece of lime.
Amy looked up and straight into Karma’s eyes and instantly looked away. That split second had felt like looking into her past, every memory flashing by like a slideshow. “Thanks,” she muttered, grabbing the salt and lime as quickly as she could.
“Cheers,” Karma said. “Cheers,” Amy replied, feeling the welcome burn seeping down her throat. Karma was right, she was going to need this. Amy kept staring at the bottles behind the bar.
“Amy…look at me, please.” Karma said quietly, in little more than a whisper. Amy’s heart ached at that noise, and she couldn’t resist. She looked up quickly, tracing the outline of her face and the curls of her auburn hair before finally meeting her eyes. God, she’s so beautiful, Amy thought before she could stop herself.
“Hi,” Karma said, smiling a sweet shy smile. Amy’s heart leapt into her throat. Taking a deep breath and swallowing hard, Amy finally replied.
“Hi,” she said, unable to keep the shy grin from her lips. Karma grinned back. “Some party huh?”
“Tell me about it.” Amy replied, averting her gaze again. What was it with this girl? She sent Amy’s heart in somersaults just by looking at her. It was too much and not enough.
“Hey, excuse me, can I get another two tequilas for us? Thanks, I think we’re gonna need them.”
PariahNonGrata on Chapter 2 Mon 28 Jun 2021 03:30AM UTC
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kwiku on Chapter 2 Wed 26 Oct 2022 05:18AM UTC
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