Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Author Note: If any warnings apply to any chapter this is where they’ll be so you can see them before reading on! :)

Chapter 1

Your POV

Why was this happening? What was going on and how in the entire universe did you end up here? Scrambling to your feet and fumbling along the corridors, almost as if you had drunk several crates of beer on an empty stomach, you tried to figure out where you was and whether or not you was alone. After all there was only so much time before this was bound to happen again. 

"Alright?" A voice boomed as a picture appeared on a screen near you.

"Christ!" You jumped back, almost falling to your feet again.

"Sorry didn't mean to scare ya" The voice apologized "I'm Holly!" 

"Where am I?" You stuttered, feeling the flickering approaching. 

"JMC Mining ship Red Dwarf" Holly confirmed your suspicions.

"Is there anyone on this ship?" You asked, the flickering become more constant and harder to fight against.

"They're in..." Before Holly could finish everything went black.

What felt like an eternity but was only a few seconds in reality you reappeared from your light bee with an almighty thud as you hit the metal wall of the ship.

"Did you guys hear that?" One voice exclaimed

"Probably another part of the ship falling apart ignore it" Another completely fed up voice grumbled as the door you had landed near opened.

"Sirs you might want to come and take a look" That was definitely a mechanoid. 

"What is it Krytes?" A scouse voice asked.

"Ma'am are you ok?" The mechanoid asked as I finally opened my eyes.

"Oh great another human and it's a female" The grumpy voice from earlier groaned.

"Alright Rimmer, keep your 'h' on" The scouser replied.

"Shut up Lister!" Rimmer growled.

"Mr Rimmer sir..." The mechanoid stuttered.

"What is it Kryten?" Rimmer rolled his eyes. 

"I'm not human" You mumbled as you rubbed your eyes, the flickering feeling returning a little "Do you a medical bay on board?"

"Of course ma'am" Kryten looked over you concerned as you tried to stand up.

"I need to get there ASAP" You grumbled as you rubbed your eyes once more knocking your hair from your face and revealing what you truly were.

"You're a hologram?" Rimmer stood stunned as you began to flicker in and out again. 

"I need to go now!" You exclaimed as Lister and the remaining unnamed crew mate helped you to the medi-bay. 

Hooked up to the red dwarf holo system, Kryten set up a scan to find out what was causing you to flicker out.

"You're a hologram?" Rimmer repeated himself.

"Am I? I wondered why there was a big 'h' on my head?" You teased but it went straight over him. 

"It appears your light bee has a crack ma'am, which is causing you to flicker in and out and glitch" Kryten eyed over the scan results as he explained the issue. 

"Is it fixable?" You asked.

"Sure is ma'am" Kryten gave you a reassuring smile. 

"And please call me Y/N" You smiled back.

"Hang on can't the ship only maintain one hologram?" The unnamed crew mate pointed out. 

"Shut it Cat!" Lister shushed him. 

"A couple updates and a few adjustments and the ships system should maintain several holograms" You smiled "How long will it take to fix the crack?"

It was then that you noticed Rimmer had left the medi-bay,  clearly not pleased about sharing the ship with another hologram. It didn't take Kryten long to fix the crack and before long you were helping him update the hologram program to maintain both you and Rimmer.

"Well if you would excuse me ma'am I've got a load of Mr Listers laundry to catch up on" Kryten nodded in your direction "You'll find the crew down the corridor on the left" 

"Thanks Kryten" You smiled as you parted ways with Kryten to find the others "Hi, hope I'm not disturbing anything?"

Upon seeing you, Rimmer jumped up from his seat and took himself and the book he was reading to his bunk without a word. 

"Of course not, sit down and help yourself to a beer" Lister grinned "Did Kryten fix you up?"

"He did and the hologram program has been updated to maintain both me and Rimmer" You replied earning a not so subtle scoff from the hologram throwing a strop. 

"Ignore the smeghead over there" Lister rolled his eyes towards Rimmer. 

Rimmer was a mystery, he avoided you at all costs for the 3 weeks you had been stuck on Red Dwarf. Even though in those 3 weeks you had become good friends with the rest of the crew. It was all about to turn upside down as Kryten had bad news to deliver.

"Are you coming?" You spoke towards Rimmer but you dared to look at him.

"Y/N, Rimmer we need to get to starbug NOW!" Lister burst in, Krytens bad news had to wait.

While Lister run ahead it left you and Rimmer walking to spacebug alone in complete silence. Lister had filled you in on Rimmer, on why he is the way he is and why he seemed to hate you with every inch of his hologramatic being. He didn't trust anyone and perceived everyone as a threat due to his crappy upbringing and constantly being shot down. It was clear the man had issues but it would be wrong of you to treat him differently because of them and it didn't help that the rest of his crew liked to play on his insecurities. If anything  you just wanted to be acquaintances if friends wasn't possible. 

After all piling into Starbugs cockpit Kryten filled everyone in, an abandoned ship was slowly flying by Red Dwarf and it was up to this crew to check it over for remaining crew or supplies that could be useful on ship.

"Rimmer are you still sulking?" Lister decided to spark a conversation, apparently at the expense of Rimmer. 

"I'm not sulking, I just don't see why we need to check this ship, we've already got an extra crew mate on board ...we don't need anymore" Rimmer kept his eyes on the console in front of him as he spoke however you couldn't take your mind of the fact he referred to you as a crew mate. Maybe he's finally warming up to you.

"Maybe we'll bump into Ace?" The Cat decided to join in, Lister has briefly mentioned Rimmer's alter ego Ace and from what you could gather everyone but Rimmer liked him. 

"Ah I love that man" Lister joined in as Rimmer let out a groan "The only version of Rimmer that can be considered a man"

"Alright guys give it a rest, how would you like it we were teasing you?" You shut them down, noticing Rimmer turning from his screen to look at you for a split second from the corner of your eye.

"Did you just stand up for Rimmer?" Lister turned to face you as did Kryten and The Cat. 

"Is that so wrong?" You raised your eyebrow.

"Yes!" Lister, Kryten and the Cat said in unison.

"Well you're all a bunch of smeg heads" You grumbled.

"Ooh Y/N cares about Rimmer" Lister teased as Rimmer let out a tut.

"Have we reached the ship yet?" Rimmer growled as the ship came to a sudden stop with a jolt.

"Erm ...maybe" The Cat smiled awkwardly, clearly too interested in the drama in the cockpit than the spaceship we were hurtling towards. 

"Here's the plan, Y/N, Lister and the Cat look for any remaining crew members, Kryten and I will look for supplies" Rimmer ordered, he may not officially be an officer but 3 million years into deep space with the last human, a robot and a half cat wasn't going to stop him pretending to be and it wasn't until he looked up from getting ready that he noticed Lister, Kryten and Cat already down the corridor of the abandoned ship. 

"Have fun you two!" Lister shouted down the corridor.

"Smeg!" Rimmer grumbled "Come on"

Of course Rimmer wasn't pleased to be left alone with you and as much as you wanted to get to know Rimmer better you knew it was not going to be easy. 

"Just to set the record straight I had nothing to do with this" You put it out there as Rimmer kept his focus on searching for supplies. 

"Uh huh" Was the only response he was willing to give. 

"Fine" You muttered under your breath as you too looked for supplies to take back. 

"Nothing in here, onto the next room" You let Rimmer boss you about, after all standing your ground against him would just end in a fight. 

"Yes sir!" You replied sarcastically, earning a frown before he walked off. 

After a few more rooms it was clear there wasn't much to salvage besides a few crates of lager, medical supplies and a bunch of stationary that only Rimmer would've spotted. 

You and Rimmer sat in Starbug in silence as you waited for the others to return, Rimmer completely blocking out his surroundings as he went through his new haul of pens and notebooks. You knew Rimmer wasn't like the others, as much as he hated to admit it he was shy and very awkward, his interests were on the opposite end of the scale to Lister and the Cat and he had clearly built up some very high walls in need to protect himself. Watching the way his face lit up over his new stationary made you smile, a smile you were completely unaware of until Rimmer looked up. 

"Shouldn't the others be back soon?" You immediately tried to change the subject as Rimmer tried to put his focus back on his notebooks but unbeknown why, he was struggling.

"Listy? Can you hear me?" Rimmer poked a button next to his monitor.

"Having fun Arnie?" Lister teased once more through the reciever. 

"Have you found anyone?" You jumped in, you wasn't in the mood to hear him taunt Rimmer more.

"Nah we're heading back to Starbug now! What about supplies?" Lister replied.

"Found a few crates of lager and some medical supplies but that's about it" You explained, leaving out Rimmer's stationary supplies to save him from the teasing. 

"Nice, we're a few minutes away, see you guys soon" And with that the cockpit went silent. 

Even though Rimmer acted as though he was ignoring everything it was obvious he had picked up on you leaving out his haul to spare him as his foot suddenly started tapping the floor beneath it not sure how to deal with the emotions he was currently feeling.

Rimmer was proving to be a tough nut to crack, either only talking to the boys, remaining silent or even leaving the room in some cases. He did talk to you but only when it was absolutely necessary and it became an extremely regular thing for the rest of the crew to run off and leave you alone together. 

Another day ...or night ...it was a guessing game half the time and even if it did turn out to be midnight it didn't stop You and Lister chowing down on a hefty bowl of cereal.

"Thanks Krytes" You smiled as Kryten placed a bowl of your favourite cereal and juice on the table in front of you as you remained focused on the book you was reading.

"You're welcome ma'am!" Kryten smiled before scuttling off, after all there was always bound to be a basket of Listers socks and underwear in desperate need of cleaning.

"Hmm that's good" You happily munched away on your breakfast, noticing Lister hanging over the side of his bunk from the corner of your eye "Don't even think about touching that guitar" 

"Yes please don't" Rimmer walked in, eyes down on the papers in his hand.

"Alright jesus" Lister whined as he threw himself back in his bunk.

"Good morning Arnold" You called him by his first name in an attempt to get a reaction from him.

"Morning" Rimmer mumbled looking up from his notebook for a short second before looking back down, he definitely noticed.

"What are you up to?" You asked trying to spark up a conversation with the hologram sat opposite you.

"Probably studying to fail his Astro-navs again" Lister teased. 

"Oi!" You shot Lister a look.

"Do you ever stop talking?" Rimmer snapped at Lister.

"Ooh someone woke up on the wrong side of the ship this morning?" Lister set off on his mission to piss off Rimmer. 

"Shut up" Rimmer growled.

"Just ignore him" You spoke only loud enough for Rimmer to hear as he looked up and spotted the book you were reading. 

"You're reading the space corp directives?" Rimmer raised an eyebrow at the book.

"Yeah why not?" You smiled as you flicked the page, Rimmer's eyes shot back down to the paperwork in front of him. 

"I wouldn't bother, we ignore practically all of them" Lister chimed in.

"Correction Listy ...you ignore all of them" Rimmer looked over at Lister sprawled out in his bunk.

"They are rules and rules are for goodie goodies" Lister huffed.

"Rules exist for a reason" Rimmer replied sternly. 

"Rules are made to be broken Rimmer" Lister grinned "Not that you'd have the balls to do that"

"Alright that's enough Lister" You shot Lister a look that shut him up instantly "Every conversation doesn't have to end in you belittling Arnold"

And it was with that last sentence that Rimmer had up and left. This is how most days panned out, you'd finally get a conversation going then Lister or The Cat would butt in and insult or berate Rimmer. Being 3 million years into deep space you could understand that there wasn't much to do and boredom would ensue but it wasn't an excuse to treat Rimmer the way they did, especially knowing what they know about him. 

"So are you staying on Red Dwarf then?" Lister asked, eyes fixated on the screen in front of him as he played his video game. 

"I don't know" You sighed, trying desperately to focus on the book you were reading and not on the nonsense in your head.

After a month or so of space exploration with the boys from the Dwarf you had obtained a substantial book collection ...a collection you knew was sparking the interest of Rimmer although he'd rather die again than admit it. 

"What do you mean you don't know?" Lister paused his game to look at you.

"I love Red Dwarf I really do but I know someone doesn't like me being here" You mumbled.

"Ahh don't worry about that smeghead" Lister grinned.

"That's quite hard when you lot keep leaving me alone with him" You grumbled, there was sounds of movement outside the doorway of the crews living quarters to which you assumed was Kryten "I've tried my best Dave and he still ignores me"

"You know what he's like, he's Rimmer" Lister tried to comfort you but it wasn't helping, Rimmer being Rimmer was the problem, his personality was so much different to the others which made him all that more interesting but trying to get through those walls was like breaking them down with a plastic spoon, long and tiring. 

"How do I get through to him Lister?" You grumbled once more "I'm not a bad person"

"Talk to him" Lister turned back to his game.

"You know he just ignores me" You sighed, maybe there something more than even you were aware of going on "I just want him to feel comfortable around me, I try and start up conversation, I'm nothing but nice to him and I stand up for him when you lot are being smegheads"

"Awh come on winding Rimmer up is fun" Lister smiled.

"Maybe you should take his feelings into consideration every once in a while" You scolded Dave as you left the crew quarters, seeing a faint blur of blue dash down the corridor. It wasn't Kryten walking past earlier after all, it was in fact Rimmer, the one who you had just been talking about to Lister and he had clearly heard everything as he scarpered away to avoid being seen. 

You spent hours traipsing the floors of the dwarf trying to find Rimmer but if there was one thing he was definitely good at it was a hiding. 

"Rimmer please come out from where you're hiding? I just want to talk" You called out with no response until a few moments later there was a loud bang and an 'oh smeg!" coming from Starbug "Arnold I know you're in there?"

After a few seconds of silence and no answer you opened the door to let yourself in. 

"Can we talk?" You asked as Rimmer sat with his elbows resting on the console and his hands resting at the back of his neck. 

"I heard everything by the way" Rimmer mumbled.

"I know that's why I'm here" You smiled as Rimmer kept his focus away from you "Why do you hate me so much?"

"Hate you? I don't hate you" Rimmer stuttered, a look of guilt crawling over his face, he kept his walls high to protect himself from getting hurt but he clearly never considered how they might hurt someone else.

"Then why do you never talk to me? Why do you leave when I enter the room?" You asked, still waiting for Rimmer to look you in the eye.

"You're either going to put me down or leave just like everyone else does" Rimmer span in his chair so he had his back towards you.

"Well yeah if you keep treating me the way you have been" You sighed "It has never been my intention to hurt you, you know that right?"

"I guess" He mumbled as he shrugged.

"Look Lister filled me in on everything not long after I ended up here, I know it's not been easy for you and I know the boys aren't always nice" You spoke softly "I understand if me looking out for you makes you feel a little uncomfortable, it's not something you're used too and me being female probably doesn't help" 

"You don't like me" Rimmer muttered "Nobody does, I'm a good for nothing smeghead"

"And what makes you think that?" You tried your best to keep calm, after all Arnold was finally talking to you and exploding in frustration would put the two of you right back to the start "I do like you Arnie, sure you're the grumpiest hologram I've ever met but that's not a reason for me to not like you ...you can talk to me whenever you want about whatever you want"

"Why are you so nice to me?" It was clear Rimmer was struggling to accept you being nice to him, that you actually wanted to be his friend.

"Not everyone is out to hurt you Arnold ...so what do you say? Friends?" You asked as you perched on the edge next to his console, holding out your hand for him to shake and more than half expecting him to refuse it.

"Friends!" A small smile appeared on Rimmer's face and to your surprise his hand met yours, it may have been a quick and clammy shake  but it was a step in the right direction.

"Oh by the way you're welcome to take a nosy at my book collection" You stood up to leave. 

"Really?" It really was going to take a lot of work for Rimmer to accept kindness.

"I have noticed you take interest in what I'm reading" You gently placed your hand on his shoulder with a soft laugh and for the first time Rimmer seemed relaxed.

"Thank you for giving me a chance" Rimmer spoke quietly, this was the most open he had been since you ended up here and seemed your hard work and persistence was slowly start to pay off.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2 

It was no surprise that your new found friendship with Rimmer lead to teasing and wind ups from the rest of the crew but you being you, you took it on the chin. Something Rimmer admired you for. 

"So let me get this straight? You're friends with Rimmer now?" Lister asked, mischief in his voice.

"Is that a problem?" You replied, your eyes not leaving the book in front of you. 

"No no..." Lister paused for a second "It's just a bit weird" 

"Well I am weird Listy!" You looked up with a smile. 

"Ain't that the truth" Lister laughed as you stood up  "Where is his royal smegness anyway?" 

"Working which is more than I can say for you Lister!" You smirked before flicking Listers nose and leaving the room.

"Ow you smegger!" You heard him shout after you. 

You knew without putting too much thought into it where Rimmer would be, after all someone had to make sure Red Dwarf was running smoothly and headed in the right direction ...although he may not have been the best choice. 

"Good Afternoon" You smiled as you walked into the Dwarfs navigation room, Rimmer quietly making his way through the book he was borrowing from you "Enjoying the book?"

"Well I was until they brought in a love storyline" Rimmer screwed up his nose "What's wrong with a having a good story without love?"

"Is love really that bad?" You laughed a little as Rimmer's eyes met you with a dead stare "Anyway..."

"What brings you here?" Rimmer asked putting the book down, maintaining friendships was always a challenge.

"Here, the dumb snack dispenser chucked out two bars when I only paid for one" You smiled as you placed the extra chocolate bar down next to the book followed by some almost inaudible jabbering from the snack machine just outside the door "Now it's giving me back chat"

You're little escapade with the snack dispenser brought a small smile to Rimmer's lips as he let out a soft laugh while the snack machine outside continue to lose it.

"Hey buddy, you chucked out two snacks instead of one not me" You shouted out of the door at the machine.

"You didn't have to take the second one" The snack machine was clearly up for a fight. 

"Shut it or I will unplug you!" You threatened the machine as Rimmer laughed behind you "Am I really about to throw punches with a snack machine?" 

"Apparently so" Rimmer smiled, still tickled by your snack fight. 

"Well if it keeps you smiling" You shrugged with a smile "So what's the plan for today?"

"I ...erm ...no plan yet" Rimmer stuttered, it would honestly be a miracle for him to accept your kindness without almost having a full blown panic attack.

"Ok well give me a shout if anything changes, there's a few things Kryten wants me to take a look at" You smiled as you went to leave. 

"Erm I've been meaning to ask ...what exactly is it that you do?" Rimmer was generally curious as you had never confirmed exactly what your position on your old ship was but you also couldn't help but feel that Rimmer also didn't want you to leave just yet. 

"I'm an engineer" You smiled leaning against the door frame. 

"What kind of engineer? Snack machines? Drink machines?" Before Rimmer wouldn't even look at you and now here he is trying to hold a full conversation. 

"An engineer engineer, I'm trained to fix anything that's broken" 

"C-can I help?" Rimmer asked innocently. 

"I'm sure there's a chicken soup dispenser that needs fixing somewhere" You smiled with a wink "Come on"

Rimmer didn't know whether to groan and glare or smile and laugh at your dig, settling with a playful glare and a soft 'you little smeg' as you made your way to Kryten. 

"So where do you need me to start Krytes?" You asked the mechanoid enjoying mopping the floors of the ship far more than anyone ever should. 

"Oh of course, this way ma'am" It was only then when Kryten looked up from the floor he was cleaning that he realized that you wasn't alone "Excuse me ma'am but are you aware Mr Rimmer is standing behind you?"

"Yes Kryten, he's going to help me" You laughed as Kryten pulled a face of worry "Don't worry it'll be fine Krytes"

"Yes of course, this way" Kryten walked on a head. 

"Bloody gimboid!" Rimmer muttered.

"Lister corrupted him, you know he can't help it" You smiled as Rimmer's shoulders relaxed and all tension left his body, you clearly had a stronger affect on him than you thought. 

"Don't you need tools?" Rimmer asked, noting your lack of a tool box or trolley. 

"Who needs tools when we've got Kryten" You smiled as you patted the droid on the shoulder "He is basically a walking multi-tool ...no offense Krytes"

"None taken ma'am ...you are technically correct" Kryten gave you a smile only a droid can give. 

"Let's get fixing shall we?" And with that you took off to fix the many, many issues on Red Dwarf. 

A few hours later and you were joined, in Rimmer's eyes, by an unwanted visitor. Despite working away behind a soup dispenser you knew exactly who it is was without looking.

"What's going on here then?" You could tell Lister was grinning, making a clear point about you and Rimmer working together "See we don't even need to set it up anymore"

"Set what up?" Rimmer asked completely blind to what the boys had really been up to the moment you glitched to the ship. 

"Just ignore him" You grumbled from behind the dispenser, rattling a pipe "Hey Arnie? Could you move the dispenser nozzle over for me please?"

"Ok" Rimmer replied quick and short as he did as you asked, apart from Kryten as soon as you were joined by either of the remaining crew Rimmer would instantly withdraw, almost too scared to even speak incase Lister would pick him apart or even worse he'd upset you., after all the filter between his brain and his mouth was faulty and he was much more aware of it with you around.

"Perfect!" You smiled at Rimmer from behind the machine as you triggered the machines cleaning system, a projectile wave of old chicken soup chunks covering Lister "Well that might explain why it wasn't working?"

"YOU BLOODY SMEGHEADS!" Lister stormed off in a huff, presumably to the nearest shower.

"Have fun!" You called down the corridor after him as Rimmer broke into laughter "Two can play that game Listy!" 

"Was that actually the problem with it?" Rimmer asked referring to the machine.

"Oh no, as soon as he opened his mouth I thought you know what would make him look better? Old chicken soup chunks!" You laughed as Rimmer looked at you almost in awe.

"You're perfect" Rimmer let slip as he laughed, catching himself almost instantly attempting to covering it up.

"Arnold?" You replied surprised, for Rimmer that was the last thing you were expecting to escape his mouth. 

"The prank!" He stuttered "I meant the prank was perfect"

"Come on, Kryten will almost be ready with dinner" You smiled, sparing Rimmer from more embarrassment than he was already feeling as his cheeks flushed a light shade of pink "I'm starving"

"Erm you're a hologram, holograms don't eat?" Rimmer pointed out, his smile slowly returning. 

"Doesn't mean I can't feel hunger, let's go!" You smiled as you walked off ahead, a soft chuckle from Rimmer travelled down the corridor. 

Arriving back at the crews quarters The Cat and Lister were already digging into their dinner, the usual vindaloo. 

"Your dinner ma'am" Kryten smiled as he placed the pasta dish down in front of you.

"Thanks Krytes, it looks great" You grinned at your plate. 

"See Listy, I told you other food existed besides vindaloo curry" Rimmer grinned as he sat down at the table continuing on with his book from earlier earning a not so subtle groan from Lister.

"Hey pretty lady" Cat scooted his chair over to you, fluttering his eyelashes.

"Don't even think about it" The Cat had made it his mission since you got here to try and 'win you over' but no matter how many times you turned him down he was reluctant to give up.

"Oh come on" Cat tried again, you noticed Rimmer watching you from the side of his vision from behind his book.

"You need to back off before all 9 of your lives flash before your eyes" You said sternly enough that he eventually moved back.

"Obviously you're not interested in the Cat or Kryten ...so what about me?" Lister looked up from his plate with the devil in his eyes. 

"Why has my love life suddenly became topic of discussion?" You sighed as you tried to continue eating, Rimmer had completely stopped reading as he hid behind his book. 

"Well would you?" Lister pushed a little more.

"I wouldn't no" You replied bluntly as a grin formed on Listers face.

"What about Rimmer?" You choked on your pasta as the words left Listers mouth, Rimmer completely frozen behind his book. 

"Just because there is a woman on your ship doesn't mean one of you has to sleep with her?" You shouted as you dropped your fork, a loud clang radiating through the room as the metal hit the plate.

"It's just hypothetical, you don't have to date any of us" Lister pointed out.

"Lister shut up!" Rimmer growled, sensing your anger.

"Damn right I don't" You stood up in a huff "Why do men never think with their brain?"

And with that you stormed out, leaving your dinner unfinished and you not quite sure where you were storming off too. 

Realizing the only place you could really escape without being bothered was your room. Asking Holly to lock the door before throwing yourself in your bunk. It's times like this that made you glad you chose to have your own quarters. Who knows what kind of hell would ensue if you hadn't? You knew in their minds the boys probably didn't mean it to be harmless but you weren't standing for it ...and for that matter neither was Rimmer, it wasn't much but he did try and get Lister to stop. 

After losing yourself in a book for a couple hours you decided to go hunt down a snack machine, after all you had abandoned your dinner earlier. It would be your luck though that you didn't have enough money on you, your foul mood insisting you take a hit on the snack machine but before you could an arm in a blue sleeve appeared over your shoulder to place a coin into the slot.

"Here" Rimmer said softly but still managing to scare the life out of you ...well metaphorically.

"Bloody hell" You grumbled as you held your chest, you maybe a hologram but holograms could still have heart attacks.

"Sorry I didn't meant to..." Rimmer panicked.

"It's fine and thank you, you didn't have to do that" You managed a smile as your snack hit the bottom of the machine.

"Sorry about earlier" Rimmer's eyes shot to the floor.

"It wasn't your fault Arnie?" You looked at him a little sad, he didn't do anything wrong and yet he was still taking the blame "Please don't blame yourself"

"If you want I can get Kryten to make you another dinner..." Rimmer started to blabber "It's not a problem"

"Arnie it's fine" You smiled, placing your hand on his shoulder and feeling him instantly relax.

"The boys are having a game night, if you want to join?" Rimmer asked 

"Erm I think I'll pass this time" You spoke softly "I'm not really in the mood"

"Yeah me neither ...I best get going though" Rimmer turned to leave.

"You know you don't have to go to game night..." You hesitated to see if he'd pick up on where you were going.

"What?" Rimmer froze, as far as he was concerned he was dreaming and he'd wake up any moment.

"You're more than welcome to keep me company for the evening... if you want?" You smiled as Rimmer mulled over your offer "Come on"

You couldn't help but smile at the sound of the footsteps behind you, pleased that Rimmer had chose the option that would make him happy and instead of going with what everyone else was doing so he didn't feel left out. Rimmer had only seen your quarters from the door as you swapped over books for him, this time he was actually inside, looking around and taking in all of his surroundings. 

"Excuse me while I change" You said calmly.

"Wait what?" Rimmer panicked, completely forgetting in that moment that you were a hologram and only focusing on the 'change' part of your sentence.

"Comfies please Hol!" You asked the computer as your blue uniform changed to leggings and an oversized jumper "Ah much better ...maybe you should try changing into something comfier?"

"I don't think I have anything like that?" Rimmer spoke quietly, you were clearly distracting him.

"Holly, find some comfy clothes for Rimmer please?" You asked Holly again.

"Don't look!" Rimmer exclaimed.

"What?" You laughed.

"I'm know I'm a hologram but don't look while I change" Rimmer chuckled.

"Alright fine I won't look" You laughed as you covered your eyes "Go on Holly!"

"Oh god this feels weird" Rimmer looked over his new clothes, black jogging bottoms and a blue jumper and even you couldn't deny how soft and sweet he looked as he stood in front of you confused.

"Good weird?" You smiled as you sat down on your bunk.

"Too soon to say" Rimmer was completely occupied by what he was wearing to notice you had sat down.

"Hey Holly, is there anything new to watch?" You asked as Rimmer stood next to your bunk "Well sit down then"

"Are you sure?" It was clear he was nervous, it had been a really long time since he'd had any interaction with the opposite sex and even when he was alive it wasn't something he was particularly experienced with.

"Yes" You laughed softly as you patted the spot next to you gently "Please sit down"

"You know if the others find us they'll rinse us?" Rimmer sat down next you cautiously, as far he was concerned this was all some sort of elaborate joke and you were going to walk away or tell him to leave. 

"Oh I have a plan don't worry" You smiled as you looked over at the screen "Holly?"

"Yes Y/N?" Holly replied.

"Could you make the door is locked please? ...oh and see you can get one of the scutters to bring up some snacks too please?" You made your demand, a sweet but nervous smile lighting up Rimmer's face. 

"Bob should be up in a few minutes, shall I tell him to leave your delivery outside the door?" Holly asked.

"You know the drill Hol!" You grinned.

"Something tells me you've done this before?" Rimmer raised his eyebrow, his hands resting in his lap.

"Well I need an escape from the rest of you sometimes you know" You teased "Well the other 3 anyway"

"You chose me other them?" Rimmer looked at you confused as the scutter tapped the door outside.

"I suppose I did" You smiled as you went to retrieve the delivery, turning back round to see a smug and rather pleased smile on Rimmer's face "Hey no need to be a smug git ...or I might have to start calling you Ace?"

"Oi?" Rimmer shot you a glare as you sat back down.

"I'm joking" You laughed a little, picking up the chocolate bar Rimmer had got you earlier, breaking it in half and offering it to him "Here..."

"Erm thanks" Rimmer smiled as he took the offer.

"You're welcome ...Holly start the film!" You asked the computer and that was it. 

From that moment on movie night with Rimmer became a regular thing, you had both agreed not to speak a word to anyone else. After all you didn't want everyone invading your space and for Rimmer, although he would never admit, he didn't want to share you with anyone else. Arnold Rimmer was starting to feel something he'd really felt before.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

Neither of you could deny that you enjoyed sneaking around behind the rest of the crew but it would only be so long before the others got curious. 

"Have I told you about my winning RISK strategy?" At this point Rimmer was completely and utterly comfortable around you ...and there was absolutely no shutting him up but you didn't mind.

"Surprisingly no" You smiled as Rimmer smirked.

"Well get comfy, it's going to take awhile" Rimmer chuckled as you rolled your eyes.

"HEY Y/N HAVE YOU SEEN RIMMER?" Lister shouted down the corridor.

"Oh smegging hell!" Rimmer groaned, it was only a matter of seconds before Lister would reach the door.

"You're gonna have to hide" You spoke quietly.

"What? Where?" Rimmer furrowed his brows before an idea hit "Hang on ...disengage!"

Before you could even process the idea there was Rimmer's light bee next to you on the bunk.

"I'm impressed" Even for Rimmer that was very quick thinking and you were almost annoyed that you hadn't come up with it yourself.

"Y/N? Can we come in?" Lister was right outside, quickly hiding Rimmer's light bee under the pillow on your bunk before allowing Holly to open the door. 

"What's up guys?" You smiled, Lister wasn't alone as him, Cat and Kryten piled through the door to look around. 

"See I could have sworn I heard him in here" Lister pondered as you swiftly took the light bee from under the pillow, hiding it behind your back as you walked slowly over to the door while the others were distracted.

"Nope he's not here" You remained calm as you reached the doorway, gently rolling the light bee down the corridor before signaling Holly to bring Rimmer back and walking back to your bunk "Is there a problem?"

"Any ideas where he could be ma'am?" Kryten asked as you heard footsteps just outside.

"Where who could be Kryten?" Rimmer smirked, pleased with how well his plan had worked and how oblivious the others were. 

"Mr Rimmer Sir?" Kryten was utterly confused.

"What's the problem Kryten?" Rimmer was getting impatient.

"It was Mr Listers idea sir!" Kryten began to panic, his guilt chip kicking in.

"What was Listers idea?" You asked, glancing over at Rimmer trying not to make too much obvious eye contact. 

"We're trying to prove there's something fishy going on between you two" The Cat stuck his nose up in the air. 

"Cat?" Lister scolded the Cat.

"Look there is nothing going on ok? Rimmer wasn't in here" You spoke sternly.

"Fine" Lister looked you dead in the eye as he spoke, arms crossed against his chest.

"And even if he was, even if there was something going on ...which there isn't ...what makes it any of your business?" You voice was stern and low as Cat and Lister tried to keep from squirming while Rimmer tried to hide how much he was enjoying it.

"It's just weird that someone would willingly want to spent time alone with Rimmer" Lister suddenly spoke up, Rimmer's nostrils flaring at his remark.

"You just had to make a comment didn't you?" You were starting to snap, the Rimmer you had come to know was so much different to the Rimmer everyone else knew.

"I think you should all leave" Rimmer looked at the others as he spoke, he didn't like tension and confrontation at the best of times but he hated it a lot more when it involved you "Give Y/N some space?"

"We will figure you out you know?" Lister smirked.

"LEAVE!" Rimmer shouted, 

"Fine" Lister mumbled as he walked out shortly followed by Kryten.

"Since when did you get a backbone?" The cat spat at Rimmer as he walked past him.

"Sorry about them" Rimmer sighed, his eyes on the floor

"Arnie you know what I'm about to say don't you?" You smiled as he looked up at you.

"You know I can't help it" He spoke quietly "Will you be ok?"

"I'll be fine, I'll probably read for a bit then head to sleep" You smiled as he let go of the breath he had been holding in.

Just as you said, you read for a couple hours before passing out ...that was however crashed by loud voices radiating through the ship. 

"I swear to god" You grumbled as you stood up, wrapping your blanket around your shoulders before going to investigate.

"LISTER WILL YOU SHUT UP!" You heard Rimmer shout as you got closer to the boys sleeping quarters, a faint sound of footsteps as a certain someone scarpered away.

"It's 3am lads, what's with all the shouting?" You walked in with a grumble, immediately noticing the empty bottom bunk "Lister what did you say?"

"Nothing?" Lister replied with a smirk, clearly he had said something.

"Don't lie to me Lister, where is he?" You sighed, not only were you annoyed that you were woken up but also that nobody but you would give Rimmer a break. 

"Observation dome probably, that's where he usually goes to sulk" Lister shrugged before turning over to go to sleep. 

As much as you wanted to go back to bed you couldn't leave him, you couldn't leave him alone up there especially if he wasn't feeling ok. 

"Lister if that's you smeg off!" Rimmer grumbled as you crouched down behind him, gently placing your hands on his shoulders "What are you doing up?"

"I heard the shouting" You smiled as you sat down next to him "Are you ok?"

"Ah it doesn't matter" Rimmer mumbled as he looked away from you "Just Lister being a git as usual"

"It's not though is it?" You spoke softly.

"What do you mean?" 

"Arnie you only come up here when you're upset about something" You pointed out.

"Lister told you that didn't he?" Rimmer sighed.

"Whether he did or not, you know I would've still looked for you?" You smiled, taking the blanket from around your shoulders and placing it round Rimmer "I know you're a hologram and you don't feel the cold but it's more for the comfort"

"Why are you so nice to me?" There was a clear drop in Rimmer's voice as he spoke.

"Why wouldn't I be nice to you?" You laughed a little as Rimmer pulled your blanket tighter around him.

"You know what I mean?" Rimmer's eyes finally met yours "You're the only one who willingly spends time with me, the only one who doesn't spend their time teasing me and winding me up"

"Arnie?" You sighed.

"Nobody calls me Arnie or Arnold unless it's to piss me off, nobody takes the time to get to know me. Everyone sees me as a neurotic cowardly mess" Rimmer turned to look at you "Everyone except you!"

"Well the crew is predominantly male?" You laughed softly "And what can I say? I care about you Arnold"

"But why? I'm a mess?" There really was no getting through to him.

"I think you might be missing the point" 

"You know, you're the only reason I haven't had myself switched off" Rimmer looked down.

"Arnie?" You didn't know what to say, you definitely weren't expecting him to say something like that. You also wasn't expecting him to respond to you placing your hand gently on top of his,  blown away as his thumb grazed over the top of your fingers.

"You make me feel things I never thought I'd feel" Even though he was hard light, no touch compared to how your hand felt in his, he almost felt human.

"And to think when I first glitched on the dwarf you refused to talk to me ...now look at you"  You smiled as you moved in a little closer to him.

"You know when I look in the mirror and see this on my head" He pointed at the hologram symbol on his head as he spoke "It always meant hopeless or horrendous"

"Hey" You voice was soft and gentle as you squeezed Rimmer's hand.

"But now when I see the letter 'h' on you it means hopeful and happiness" Rimmer smiled sweetly as he brought your hand to his lips to place a gentle kiss "You make me feel human"

"I could say the same about you" You replied as Rimmer froze a little.

"Really?" Rimmer being Rimmer he was reluctant to believe that you liked him let alone felt the same way about him that he felt about you.

"Do I really need to run around naked with a big flashing sign?" You laughed softly as he raised an eye brow at you.

"I'm not sure I understand" Rimmer looked at you confused as you let go of his hand to move your hand to his face "What are you doing?"

"I like you smeghead" You smiled as you allowed your lips to meet his "Actually I like you a lot"

 "Erm this probably isn't much of a surprise but I don't have much experience with girls or relationships" Rimmer swallowed as he tried his best to keep eye contact with you "I mean I've only ever been with on..."

"Hey it's ok, you don't need to explain yourself" You spoke softly as his arm gently snuck across the bottom of your back behind you, the blanket you had placed round him earlier now covering both of you "Anyway I wouldn't have known"

"Well I must be dreaming then" Rimmer chuckled as you shook your head "Can I kiss you again?"

"You don't have to ask Arnie" You laughed as he took the lead, holding your cheek in his palm as he leant into kiss you "See you're a natural"

"You make it easy" Rimmer smiled sweetly.

"Since when did you learn how to flirt?" You teased as he chuckled.

"Would you mind not telling anyone about this?" Rimmer asked with puppy eyes "About us I mean ...not yet anyway"

"Arnie, take as long or as little as you need, whatever you're comfortable with!" You smiled before placing a gentle kiss on Rimmer's forehead, on the part of him that he hated but you loved most, the part of him that thanks to you he was slowly starting to accept. For the first time in his hologramatic existence the 'h' on his forehead didn't feel like a burden.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

Even after a month or so dating, sneaking around to spend time alone, Rimmer still couldn't quite accept that you had chosen him. As much as you didn't want to hide it, you couldn't deny how much you enjoyed teasing him and winding him up. The colour of his cheeks when you'd catch him staring at you, the feeling of him trying not to react when you place your hands on his shoulders  or your favourite, watching him get flustered when you lean over him to reach the other side of the dashboard. The teasing and winds up however weren't always one sided, Rimmer slowly started to play you at your own game, every now and then letting his hand graze yours as he walked past or randomly shooting you a sweet smile that he quickly began to realise you couldn't resist. 

After a tiring trip to what was thought to be a abandoned derelict but turned out to home a couple of rogue Gelfs, the crew were finally on their way back to Red Dwarf with Lister and Cat slightly ahead in blue midget. The trip was never meant to be a whole crew outing but when Lister and Cat didn't return when they said they would you made the decision to go and find them with Rimmer and Kryten in starbug. 

"I've switched to autopilot" You heard Rimmer speak as he walked into starbugs stern where you were working on Kryten, followed by a clang as your head hit the metal droid above you as you shot up without thinking.

"Ow!" You winced as you rolled out from under the work bench Kryten was laying on.

"Oh god are you ok? I didn't mean to scare you?" Rimmer panicked as he crouched down next to you.

"It's fine, I somehow forgot I was working on a solid metal Android for a moment there" You laughed as you rubbed your head, you might be hard light and practically indestructible but you could still feel pain ...something you always thought of as a disadvantage. 

"What are you doing anyway?" Rimmer asked curiously as he helped you up.

"Krytes took a bit of a hit in the bazookoid fire with the Gelfs and said some of his wires might have come loose so I said I'd take a look" You explained "He kept stuttering and switching to Spanish mid sentence"

"Is he ok now?" 

"Yeah I was just closing him up and about to reboot him" You smiled as a smirk started to appear on Rimmer's face "What are you thinking of?"

"He's on downtime right?" Rimmer smiled, his cheeks blushing at the thought of what he was about to suggest.

"Where is this going Arnie?" You raised your eyebrow at him, you liked this side of Rimmer.

"Well we don't have to boot him up just yet?" Rimmer's eyes darted to the side as he walked back towards starbugs cockpit. 

"Well what do you want to do?" You asked as Rimmer sat down at the dashboard.

"I just want to spend time with you" Rimmer smiled sweetly.

"You know that cute and innocent act doesn't work on me anymore, what were you thinking of?" You smiled leaning against the side of Rimmer's chair. 

"I feel awkward now" Rimmer chuckled quietly "Don't worry about it"

"I'll go reboot Kryten then?" Before you could even think about moving Rimmer's hands were on your waist and pulling you down onto his lap "Well I definitely wasn't expecting that"

"So what do we do now? This is kind of as far as I got?" Rimmer mumbled a little, still feeling awkward. 

"Well we could make out?" You shrugged as Rimmer's cheeks flushed red once more.

"But this is Listers seat? We can't do that in his seat he'll go mad?" Rimmer rambled.

"What Lister doesn't know won't hurt him?!" You laughed quietly as you let your arms rest gently round his shoulders. 

"And what about Space Corp directive..." And with a small shake of your head and no further hesitation you collided your lips with his, his arms not having quite found their rightful place.

"Rules are made to be broken Arnie!" You spoke quietly as you kept your eyes focused on his. 

"Well normally I'd disagree but I'd break every rule for you"Rimmer smiled as he leant in to kiss you.

"Since when did you become such a sop?" You spoke softly as you returned the kiss, you would never have put Rimmer down as the soppy lovesick kind but after all for him this was the first time he had ever truly been in love.

"You're asking me?" Rimmer chuckled as he took every second of this moment with you, his arms resting gently at the bottom of your waist, finally finding where they belong.

"How long till we're back to Red Dwarf?" You asked gently brushing back a curl that had come loose from his face as he smiled softly leaning into your hand. 

"Annoyingly not long" Rimmer sighed as a light a on the dashboard started blinking.

"Rimmer, Y/N, Krytes, you there?" Listers voice boomed through the speaker.

"Listy? Are you ok?" You asked as Rimmer froze in the seat beneath you.

"Y/N are Rimmer and Krytes with you?" Lister asked.

"What do you want Lister?" Rimmer grumbled, his grip tightening on the arm of the chair.

"Hello to you to Rimmer" Lister taunted "Cat and I just wondered if you three wanted to join us in  a couple card games when we get back?"

"What kind of card games?" You asked curiously, making sure you didn't get accidentally roped into a game of strip poker.

"I'm gonna teach Cat how to play Fish!" Lister chuckled.

"Yo bud did you say fish?" Cats voice mumbled in the background. 

"Yeah count me in, what about you Arnie?" You gave Rimmer a smile you knew he couldn't resist.

"Fine count me in too" Rimmer gave you a playful glare.

"Where's Kryten? He hasn't said anything?" Lister addressed the elephant in the room as you and Rimmer looked at each other in panic.

"Erm..." Rimmer stuttered as you quickly thought out an answer.

"Krytes is on downtime, I've just finished fixing him up" You spluttered fast enough to not invite speculation of what was really going on.

"Fixing him?" Lister replied confused.

"Yeah he took some damage in the gunfire but he's fine now" You quickly explained as Rimmer became fidgety and anxious beneath you as you cupped his face gently in your hands before placing a gentle kiss to his forehead to calm him down.

"Brutal! ...well we'll see you back on Red Dwarf" Lister bought and accepted your story that was some what true but not the whole truth.

"Good god" Rimmer let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Right I better get our mech friend back up and running" You smiled as Rimmer pouted "Hey don't look at me like that"

"Damn I thought that would work" Rimmer chuckled as you stood up "Go on then, go boot up the bog bot!" 

"Before I do..." You smirked as Rimmer raised his eyebrow at you confused, leaning in closer to him as your lips met his in the middle.

"Just as I planned" Rimmer laughed quietly as you walked slowly back to Kryten.

"Yeah yeah" You teased before leaving the cockpit. 

Before long you were back on Red Dwarf, with Kryten fixed and rebooted and back with Lister and Cat.  With freshening up and a meal out of the way the four of you sat round the table in the boys sleeping quarters ready to begin game night with Kryten enjoying making his way through a big pile of ironing.

"So Cat do you get the rules of the game now?" Lister stared Cat down from the opposite of the table. 

"Yeah let's play" Cat replied as Lister shuffled the cards before dealing them out. 

"Right Y/N you can go first!" Lister smiled as you lifted your eyes from your cards to Rimmer who sat opposite you.

"Aright then ...Rimsy!" You smirked as Rimmer raised his eyebrow, caught completely off guard by the change in name "Got any 3's"

"Go fish smeghead!" Rimmer lips too turned into a smirk as he spoke, meanwhile you pretended to strop as you took the card from the top of pile in the middle. 

"Cat your turn!" You smiled as Cat too looked at Rimmer.

"Goalpost head!" Cat stared Rimmer down.

"Is this whole game just going to be you lot picking on me?" Rimmer asked with a small smile, all the while you were winding him up too he didn't mind.

"Got any fish?" Cat asked, having not understand any of the rules of the game as Lister shook his head.

"You're supposed to ask for a number Cat?" Lister explained again.

"Why would I want wheel-arch nostrils number?" Cat screwed up his nose.

"He meant a number card Cat" You explained softly.

"Anyway where's the fish?" Cat furrowed his brows as everyone shook their head with a sigh "You can't ask a cat to play this game and not give him a fish?"

"It's the name of the game you doink!" Lister finally broke "There's not actual fish involved"

"No fish?" Cat looked at Lister almost offended "I don't know why I bother?" 

Just as Cat went to storm out a faint noise could be heard just outside the ship.

"Can you hear that noise?" Rimmer screwed his nose up as he tried to listen.

"Yeah it's you smeghead" Lister teased as Rimmer sighed.

"No I can hear it too" You said curiously as you walked over to the window.

"It appears to be the Gelf ship we saved Mr Cat and Mr Lister from" Kryten chimed in as Rimmer and Lister joined you by the window.

"I think we should head down to starbug now!" Rimmer's voice was stern as he spoke, while on paper he was only second tech as far as he was concerned he was in charge. 

"Wait a minute ...what's that?" You pointed towards the distant red splodge flying over the Gelf ship.

"That's another ship ma'am" Kryten finally joined you over at the window.

"Gelf?" You asked as Rimmer's hand found your wrist, his grip tightening as the Gelf ship got closer and his concern for you grew bigger.

"Whatever it is we need to move!" Rimmer reminded everyone of his previous idea but before anyone could consider moving the Gelf ship went up in pieces, the blast radiating through the Dwarf and sending everyone and everything flying.

Without a second of hesitation, Rimmer arms were wrapped around you as you both fell to the floor. Not wanting you to get hurt he used his own body, wrapping himself around you to cushion your fall.

"Are you alright?" Rimmer asked trying to catch his breath as he helped you up.

"Yeah thanks to you" You smiled sweetly, for the first time Rimmer had been brave and heroic rather than the coward everyone knew him to be as your well-being and safety weighed far more than his own.

Rimmer had completely let down the high walls he'd spend his whole life building for you and only you. All Rimmer had ever wanted was to love and to be loved and with you he had everything. He was completely and hopelessly in love with you and for the first time in his entire existence he was happy. 

"Hey look it's that other ship!" Cat pointed out as the ship got closer to the dwarf. 

"Oh god no" Rimmer grumbled as he realized who it was.

"It's Ace!" Lister exclaimed as everyone except you and Rimmer scuttled off to the landing bay. 

"No no nooo" Rimmer sulked as he sat on his bunk, his self esteem going from 100 to 0 in a matter of seconds.

Chapter Text

"I know you're not particularly fond of him but we should say hello?" You spoke softly as Rimmer slowly looked up at you.

"That's one way of putting it" Rimmer groaned, refusing to move.

"Come on, the quicker we go, the quicker it's over with" You smiled sweetly as you held out your hands for him, gently pulling him up as he held them in his.

"Why are you making me do this?" Rimmer asked as you reached the lift.

"Because it's the polite thing to do!" You smiled as you hit the buttons on the inside before saying where you were going "Landing bay please!"

"You know who you're talking to right?" A small smirk appeared on Rimmers face as he spoke.

"Oh I know, the smegger that is Arnold Judas Rimmer! ...but lucky for him I love him!" You replied as you turned to face him.

"You love me?" Rimmer looked at you stunned, despite the sneaking around and kissing each other at every given opportunity he'd never actually heard you say those words, he'd never heard anyone say those words to him ...not even his parents.

"Well I thought it was obvious" You laughed softly, gently cupping his face in your hands.

"No one has ever told me they love me" Rimmer's eyes dropped to the floor.

"I love you Arnie" You smiled sweetly, standing on your tiptoes to place a gentle kiss to his lips feeling him smile beneath.

You didn't expect him to respond, you definitely didn't expect him to say the words back, not yet anyway but you knew eventually when he was ready he would. As he stood in front you fidgeting and unable to stay still you knew he was worrying about it.

"Hey, you don't have to say it back if you're not ready too" You spoke softly, placing one last kiss to his lips as the lift doors opened "Lets get this over with"

As you walked down the corridor towards the landing bay you couldn't help but notice Rimmer's hand brushing against yours, his fingers subtly trying to entwine with yours, making your heart flutter as you surrendered hopelessly to the smile forming on your face. Rimmer knew that even if he couldn't say the words, there were other ways he could show you until then, just like when he protected you earlier when the dwarf was under attack.

Just as you reached the last turn for the landing bay you felt Rimmer's hand slowly yet reluctantly fall from yours, running his thumb across the back of your hand before letting go. Upon entering the landing bay you were almost blinded by the glare bouncing off the shiny spacesuit that was being worn by the one and only Ace Rimmer.

"There he is, how you doing Arn?" Ace grinned as Rimmer practically shut down next you.

"I've been better" Rimmer groaned as you nudged him gently.

"Cheer up" You whispered as Rimmer's lips started to curl slightly.

"And who's the lovely lady?" Ace picked up your hand as he spoke, leaning down to place a kiss but changing his mind as Rimmer scowled at him "What's your name?"

"Y/N! I've heard a lot about you" You smiled, trying to be polite to Ace and keep Rimmer calm at the same time was going to be a struggle.

"Well depending on who you heard it from, all good I hope" Ace chuckled as you heard a low grumble from Rimmer who was purposely trying to keep Ace away from you.

"Rimmer, you ok man?" Lister asked.

"I'm fine" Rimmer mumbled, he was far from fine and his mind was in overdrive.

"So Arnie, been up to anything?" Ace asked, trying to fill the awkward silence that was starting to brew.

"Of course not" Rimmer refused to look at Ace:

"Hey you saved Cat and Lister from that Gelf ship?" You smiled giving him another nudge.

"No he didn't" Lister sniggered.

"Lister shut up!" You spoke sternly.

"Alright I'm sorry" Lister threw his hands up.

"You've kept this rust bucket going somehow" You smiled at Rimmer who's eyes were glued to floor and who's mind was on another planet.

"Yeah after he fried the crew" Lister mumbled.

"LISTER!" You shouted as Rimmer walked out.

"I think that's enough skipper" Ace looked at Lister as he spoke before turning to you "Shall we go for a walk?"

"Erm sure" You replied confused as you made your way back down the corridor you had just walked down hand in hand with Rimmer.

Once you had got far enough away from the others Ace looked back behind him before talking to you.

"I see Arnie finally got a break" Ace smirked as you raised an eyebrow at him.

"What do you mean?" You didn't not like Ace but you could understand why Rimmer wasn't fond of him.

"You and Arn have something going on" Ace spoke quietly incase of any eavesdroppers.

"How did you know?" You stared at him in panic.

"I could tell as soon as you walked in and what with the way Arnie was almost standing between us" Ace explained "I'm surprised the others haven't figured it out"

"Well Kryten's a mech and I don't think his Mech Dev has covered that yet and as for Lister and Cat, they share a brain cell between them" You laughed a little "Well a brain cell they probably borrowed from Krytes"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that" Ace chuckled.

"I better go find Rimmer and make sure he's ok" You sighed.

"You really do care about him" Ace grinned as your cheeks blushed and your eyes fell to the floor "He's lucky!"

"I think I'm the lucky one Ace" You smiled as Ace gave you a 'don't be daft' look.

Assuming Rimmer would be at his normal spot on the observation dome, you were completely startled as you walked past your quarters hearing rustling from inside.

"Holly can you open the door please?" You asked as the door opened swiftly "Hey what are you doing in here?"

There he was, sitting in your bunk reading one of your books and you couldn't help but smile.

"Sorry I just wanted to go somewhere quiet where I wouldn't be bothered" Rimmer panicked slightly.

"Arnie it's fine, don't worry" You smiled as you walked in with Ace following behind you.

"What do you want?" And with that Rimmer's sour mood had returned.

"He just wanted to make sure you're ok" You explained as you sat down next to Rimmer "Ace knows by the way"

"Knows about what?" Rimmer's nostrils flared as he spoke.

"About us" You tried to remain calm but you could feel the tension radiating from him sitting next to you.

"You told Ace?" Rimmer almost looked heartbroken as if you had broken a promise.

"Hey don't take your anger out on Y/N? It's me you've got a problem with" Ace replied firmly and calmly, not that it was in Rimmer's nature to fist fight.

"He figured it out" You sighed "and he's not going to tell anyone ...right Ace?"

"If that's what you want?" Ace kept his distance "Y/N do you mind if I have word alone with Arnie?"

"Sure" You smiled as you got up to leave, a look of worry in Rimmer's eyes as he thought about the prospect of being left alone with Ace.

"So how did you figure it out?" Rimmer groaned as he put the book his was reading down.

"Arnie?" Ace could tell Rimmer was trying to start an argument.

"You're probably going to sweep her away anyway" Rimmer spat as Ace shook his head, technically they were the same person just from different universes but they couldn't have been anymore different from each other, almost two completely different beings.

"Why would I do that?" Ace leaned against the wall beside the bunks.

"You always do, you have a way with people" Rimmer screwed up his nose, sitting on the edge of your bunk with his elbows on his knees and his face in his palms.

"Well Arn, I don't think you have much to worry about" Ace smiled as he looked down at Rimmer.

"It'll happen it always does" Rimmer grumbled, adamant that you were going to be stolen away from him by Ace, the 'superior' version of himself.

"The only person Y/N is interested in is you" Ace spoke softly.

"Why do you even care?" Rimmer looked up at Ace with a scowl.

"Because you've got something good, something that I've never had" Ace kept his focus across the room as he spoke.

"What?" Rimmer asked almost speechless.

"I know in your eyes I'm the one that got all the breaks, all the good things but you've got love" Ace explained "But I guess thats what happens when you devote all your time to your career"

"You're telling me?" Rimmer muttered.

"You've got something great there Arnie, don't mess it up!" Ace's voice dropped lower.

"She told me she loved me earlier and I froze up" Rimmer confessed, in disbelief that he was actually about to ask his alter ego for relationship advice "I couldn't even say it back"

"You don't have to Arnie, she already knows" Ace smiled "I saw the way she looked at you earlier and the way you watched her as she left"

"Really?" Rimmer was struggling to believe anything Ace was saying.

"As they say actions speak louder than words" Ace grinned before looking at his watch "At 1900 I'll take the boys out for a trip ...give you two some time alone"

"Why are you being nice to me?" Rimmer scoffed.

"Take her on a date, show Y/N how much she means to you?" Ace completely ignored Rimmer's reaction.

"And how do you suppose I do that?" Rimmer rolled his eyes "This rust bucket isn't exactly the ideal date scene"

"You'll think of something, she'll love it regardless" Ace replied, clearly only you could really get through to Rimmer.

"Why am I taking relationship advice from you?" Rimmer sighed.

"What have you got to lose Arn?" Aces voice was low as he spoke.

Ace's last sentence rang riot in Rimmer's ears. What did he really have to lose? Ace was right, that no matter what Rimmer did you'd love him and therefore was nothing, he had nothing to lose.

Chapter Text

1900 rolled round and Ace had rallied up Lister, Kryten and Cat for the 'trip' unbeknownst to you as you read quietly in your bunk. It was then that you realized you hadn't heard from Rimmer for a few hours but before you could think about where he could be you felt a slight rumble through your room. Looking out of the window in instinct you weren't expecting to see Starbug flying away from the dwarf. Who just left and why didn't they let you know?

"RIMMER? LISTER?" You shouted as you walked round the eerily quiet ship "KRYTES?"

Just as you reached the next floor you bumped into one of the scutters.

"Hey Bob where is everyone?" You asked the little robot in front of you as he made some sort of gesture that you soon realized was to follow him "Where are you taking me?"

After walking across another floor and a long trip in the lift you finally reached the officers club, confused and a little tired you called out for an answer.

"Hello? Anyone up here?" You asked as the doors to the club opened "One of the scutters directed me up here, does anyone know what's going..."

As the door fully opened you were greeted by a table fully set up for a meal, subtle piano music playing in the background courtesy of Holly and Rimmer looking very prim and proper in a suit, his cheeks flushing red as his hands fumbled behind his back.

"Arnie?" You couldn't help but smile.

"Erm would you care to join me?" Rimmer stuttered a little.

"Is this a date?" You smirked a little as Rimmer continued to blush.

"Maybe ...will you join me?" Rimmer asked again as you let out a quiet laugh.

"Wait I need to change" You smiled as you stepped back out of the officers club along the corridor to change.

"Y/N?" Rimmer called after you, his breath catching in his throat as you reappeared "Wow!"

"It seemed only right that I dress up too" You replied with a twirl, showing off your dress.

"You look stunning" Rimmer smiled sweetly as he took a step over to you, taking his hands in yours before placing a gentle kiss to your cheek "Shall we?"

Far too interested in what was going on around you as Rimmer took you over to the table to sit down you didn't think to ask where everyone else was. Once the meal was fully underway you finally got to ask some questions.

"How's the food so far?" Rimmer asked taking a sip of his wine as you nodded.

"Delicious!" You smiled "What made you do all this?"

"I just wanted to do something nice for you" Rimmer spoke quietly.

"And how did you manage to pull this off without the others becoming suspicious?" You raised your eyebrow, making Rimmer cough a little on the mouthful of food he had just eaten.

"I had a little help" Rimmer kept his eyes down on his plate.

"Help?" You asked "Where is everyone else anyway?"

"Ace offered to take them on a 'boys trip' without me and they jumped at it" Rimmer started to smile a little "His exact words were 'to give you two some alone time'"

"You took advice from Ace?" You smirked as Rimmer's cheeks turned a familiar shade of pink.

"Alright make your jokes" Rimmer chuckled.

"I didn't say it was a bad thing" You smiled "So who's idea was all of this?"

"Well erm ...that was mine" Rimmer's eyes darted to the side "I know I could've probably taken you on a more exciting first date, like somewhere on the VR system or the botanical gardens..."

"Arnie this is perfect" You reached out for Rimmer's hand across the table, holding it gently in his hand and bringing it to his lips like he did the night you first kissed.

"I'm glad you like it, I was a little worried you'd think it was stupid" Rimmer mumbled.

"Why would you think that?" You smiled at him sweetly before standing from your seat and walking over to Rimmer, holding your hands out for him "Take my hands"

"What are you doing?" Rimmer asked cautiously and nervously.

"Just take my hands, it's ok" You let out a soft laugh as he did as you asked, now standing in front of you still baffled by what you were doing.

"Why are we standing?" He asked again as you turned to the screen next to you.

"Hol, could you put a slow song on for us please?" You asked as panic set on Rimmer's face.

"Please don't make me dance, I can't dance, I've basically got two left feet" Rimmer rambled in panic as you cupped his face in your hands.

"Hey, breathe, there's nothing to worry about" You spoke softly as Rimmer took a deep breath and the music started playing.

"But I don't know what I'm doing" Rimmer mumbled as you moved one of his hands to your waist while you entwined your fingers with the other, letting your free hand rest gently on his shoulder.

"Just follow me" You smiled reassuringly as you both began to sway gently to the music.

Despite everything the two of you had done over the past month or so of dating, this was a different level of intimacy that Rimmer had never experienced, his touch light almost as if he was scared of breaking or hurting you but it was then that Ace's words from earlier ran through his mind again, he had nothing to lose but everything to gain. As you let go of his hand to rest it on his shoulder his fell to your waist without a second thought, his touch much more present as he pulled you closer, your bodies against one another and so close both of you could've sworn you felt warmth from one another.

"You're doing great" You reassured him as you caught him looking down at floor.

"I'm sorry for how I treated you when we first met" Rimmer mumbled.

"Hey, it's fine" You smiled as you moved your hand to his cheek, gently running your thumb back and forth "It's all in the past, you don't need to worry about it anymore"

"I think I was just scared of what I was feeling, I've never felt like this before" Rimmer smiled, melting into the touch of your hand "Not to this extent"

"I get that, you know it's ok to be scared sometimes?" You replied "And anyway look where we are now?"

"I'm still convinced this a dream" Rimmer chuckled as you realized you had stopped moving and were both enjoying the moment you were in.

"Well would your dream include that?" You smiled, pointing to the screen to see Holly dancing and swaying.

"Definitely not" Rimmer chuckled, his arms still firmly wrapped around you.

"Hol what are you doing?" You asked.

"What does it look I'm doing? I'm dancing" Holly replied with a straight face.

"With who?" Rimmer laughed.

"Myself obviously" Holly furrowed his brows.

"Holly?" You smiled.

"What?" The senile computer was starting to throw a strop.

"You're a goit!" You smirked as Rimmer let out another laugh.

"I love you!" Rimmer chuckled as he held you tighter against him, resting your head against his chest, the sound of his light bee gently humming away inside him was almost more comforting than a heartbeat.

"Arnie?" You spoke softly as you looked up at him.

"Yes?" Rimmer looked at you concerned.

"Do you know what you just told me?" You smiled sweetly as he realized "You just told me you love me!"

"It felt right" Rimmer smiled as he leant into kiss you, your stomach full of butterflies as Rimmer took control "I do love you, more than anything"

"I love you too Arnie" You smiled before bringing him into another kiss.

"Alright get a room" Holly grumbled as you and Rimmer laughed.

"Holly shut up!" Rimmer smiled as you remained in his embrace.

"Rude!" Holly stuck his tongue as you laughed.

A drink or two more as well as dessert and you were more than ready for your bed.

"What are you thinking about?" You asked Rimmer as he continued to smile at you, the same way he had done the entire evening.

"Nothing why?" Rimmer replied as you raised your eyebrow.

"I've never seen you smile so much" It was true, you hadn't seen him smile as much as he had in the last couple of hours with you.

"You make me happy, is that not ok?" Rimmer started to panic again.

"It's just nice to see you this happy that's all" You smiled reassuringly, you knew this was always something you were going to have to do with Rimmer but it didn't bother you in the slightest, it just made you love him more.

"Would you mind if I walked you back to your quarters?" Rimmer blushed a little as he asked.

"Such a gentleman" You smirked a little "You know you don't need to ask"

"My lady?" Rimmer teased as he held out his hand.

"Ok now you're taking the smeg" You laughed as the two of started your walk back towards your quarters.

Making the most of the empty ship, you walked hand in hand, talking and enjoying the alone time you had been given. After the evenings events you couldn't help but wonder why no one else was willing to give Rimmer a chance.

"I know I've said this before but thank you for giving me a chance" Rimmer had read your mind as you came to stop just before your quarters "I don't normally get a second look"

"Well every girl that has turned you down doesn't know what they're missing out on" You smiled sweetly  "Are you coming in?"

"I guess I could stay for a little while" Rimmer replied quietly as if it was the first time he had been in your quarters.

"When will Ace bring the others back?" You asked as walked over to your bunk.

"I'm not sure why?" Rimmer replied as he nervously sat down next to you.

"Just curious that's all ...hey why don't we finish our evening with a movie night?" You suggested, gently placing your hand on the thigh of the hologram sitting next to you.

"Oh go on then" Rimmer gave in almost instantly, not that it would've taken a lot to break him down.

"Well let's get ready then" You smiled as you both stood up snapping your fingers as both you and Rimmer changed into comfier clothing. Not long after you started dating Rimmer you patched in a modification in the holo suite to change clothes with a click of your fingers instead of having to ask Holly.

"Hang on, these aren't my normal comfies" Rimmer looked down at himself in just a t-shirt and his underwear.

"Just trying something different" You gave him a wink as you went back to your bunk and pulled back the blanket "Come on"

"Will we both fit in your bunk?" Rimmer raised an eyebrow not quite getting the hint and being somewhat distracted by the cami top and shorts you were now wearing.

"Just sit your butt down already" You laughed softly as he finally joined you "You know you can stay the night if you really want too?"

"What if the others come back and find us?" Rimmer spoke quietly as you held his cheek in your hand slowly bringing him into a kiss.

"You know we're going to have to tell them someday" You smiled between kisses, earning a slight grumble from Rimmer.

"I guess" Rimmer sighed, his eyes locked in yours, taking every detail of your face as his hands found your waist, tugging you closer as he brought you into the most passionate kiss he had ever given you, slowly laying you down as he now hovered over you "What happened to the movie?"

"I don't know you tell me" You smiled, Rimmer chuckled his eyes still fixated on you.

"You're a bad influence you know that?" Rimmer teased, he hadn't had anywhere near enough alcohol to be even remotely drunk but he was completely and totally love drunk, grinning from ear to ear as he leant into kiss you again as you reached up to wrap your arms around his shoulders.

"What's happening dudes?" Holly appeared on the screen at the foot of your bunk making the pair of jump.

"HOLLY!" You squeaked as Rimmer fell down beside you "What did we say about talking to us on this screen?"

One afternoon you and Kryten embarked on fitting a small screen at the end of your bunk, unbeknown to the droid, to make your movie nights with Rimmer easier and you had made a deal with Holly that he was to only appear on the other screen in the room or use his voice only to avoid awkward interruptions ...just like the one he just made.

"Haha this is awkward" Holly gave you both an awkward grin.

"Well bog off then!" You tried to shoo him but you knew it was a wasted effort as he faded out "Where were we?"

"I think I remember" Rimmer spoke quietly as he smiled sweetly, leaning in to kiss you once more only to be interrupted once again by Holly.

"I feel like a loose end now" Holly complained.

"Haven't you got something you could read?" Rimmer asked, starting to get a little ticked off.

"I've read them all" Holly sighed.

"Again?" Rimmer grumbled.

"Alright fine, Holly could pick a movie for us please?" You sighed as you gave the senile computer a task.

"Sure can dudes" Holly smiled as the movie started to play.

Knowing that you were likely to get interrupted by Holly again you decided instead to settle down, scooting as close to Rimmer as you possibly could in the tiny bunk as he lay next to you a little befuddled. With your head resting gently on his chest and your arm draped across his middle, Rimmer finally followed suit, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and holding your hand with the other. The soft sound of his light bee humming in your ear, the calmest and most tranquil it had probably ever been in his entire holo existence, slowly and gently lulled you to sleep as he delicately played with your hair, taking in every bit of you as you slept peacefully beside him.

Chapter Text

Your eyes slowly fluttered open as morning gradually rolled round, caught off guard as your hand grazed the computer generated body next to you. In almost disbelief that it was real, that Rimmer was actually still lying next to you in your bunk. The soft sound of his breathing as he slept peacefully beside you, stirring slightly as you moved.

"You stayed?" You smiled sweetly as you gently brushed back the loose brown curls from Rimmer's face as he slowly opened his eyes.

"Good morning" He mumbled, his light brown eyes like warm cinnamon as they caught what little light remained in the dimly lit room.

"I can't believe you actually stayed" You repeated as you let your hand softly rest on his cheek.

"You looked so peaceful I didn't want to disturb you" Rimmer replied with a yawn.

"Were you not worried about the others coming back and finding us?" You smiled as you snuggled into him. 

"Ace was right" Rimmer smiled too as he laid face to face with you "What do I have to lose?" 

"Absolutely nothing" You grinned "Are you and Ace best buds now?"

"Oi you!" Rimmer chuckled.

"I'm joking" You smiled as Rimmer leant in to kiss you, your hand gently pushing against his chest to stop him "oh I wouldn't, I haven't brushed my teeth yet"

"We're holograms remember" Rimmer chuckled as it dawned on you that holograms aren't inflicted with morning breath. 

"I forget about that sometimes" You let out a small giggle as you hid your face in the pillow.

"And anyway nothing would keep me from kissing you" Rimmer spoke quietly, leaning in once more but being interrupted by a loud rumble through the ship.

"Except that" You teased as Rimmer sat up.

"I swear if that smug git has scuffed up Starbug I'll kill him" Rimmer grumbled as he got up and walked across your quarters.

"Definitely not best buds then" You smirked as he shot you a 'don't make me come back over there' look which you were more than tempted to act on.

"Come on we should probably head down to the landing bay" Rimmer suggested as you sat on the edge of the bunk.

"I thought you didn't care about them knowing anymore?" You raised your eyebrow.

"I don't ...but I'd rather tell them properly than get caught in the act" Rimmer gave you a smirk.

"Are you sure about that?" You tried to see if he'd crack anyway.

"Yes I'm sure" He chuckled and with a click of his fingers he changed into his uniform with his puffy blue jacket.

"Well you can't say I didn't try" You smiled as you stood up, clicking your fingers to change too "Let's go" 

As Rimmer watched you leave your quarters he couldn't help but wonder if there would ever be a day he wasn't taken back by you. His hand appearing on the bottom of your back as he caught up to you, making you jump a little before sliding his fingers between yours. 

"Let's tell them" Rimmer smiled down at you.

"What now?" You asked, surprised at how fast Rimmer was suddenly progressing things.

"Why not?" Rimmer replied gently giving your hand a squeeze.

"Ok ...let's do it" You grinned as you continued making your way to the landing bay.

"Nice trip lads?" You asked as the boys clambered out of Starbug.

"Yeah not bad actually" Lister replied more focused on the luggage he was trying to get down the steps.

"It's always fun when goal post head isn't around" Cat teased, earning a low grumble from Rimmer as his nostrils flared, it was then that Cat spotted something "Hey so it is true?"

"What's true?" Rimmer scowled as you ran your thumb across the back of his hand and feeling him almost instantly relax.

"Isn't there something you wanted to tell them Arnie?" You smiled up at him.

"We already know" Lister smirked as you felt Rimmers hand tense up again in yours.

"You told them?" Rimmer's eyes shot straight to Ace who immediately threw his hands up.

"Woah Arn, it's not what you think?" Ace tried to explain but before he could get a chance Rimmer had already let go of your hand and walked away.

"If Ace didn't tell you how did you know?" You asked as you walked right up to Lister, a little smegged of yourself and you knew very well why Rimmer was so upset. 

"We kind of just figured it out" Lister just about managed to squeak out that sentence, you were small but you were definitely mighty, just enough to make any man shake in their space boots.

"Yeah especially when you showed no interest in Ace!" Cat smiled "It only made sense that you had it going on with alphabet head"

"I'd keep a very close eye on that wardrobe of yours if I were you" You growled as you walked up to Cat, so close your noses were almost touching.

"Maybe you ought to find Arnie, see if he's ok?" Ace tried to diffuse the conversation he somehow ended up becoming the center of. 

"Yeah well nobody else will" You muttered under your breath as you stormed out, you were somewhat pissed that they had found out before you could tell them but ultimately you more pissed that they stole Rimmer's thunder. He finally had something, or rather someone, that he could and most definitely wanted to show off and brag about. He had finally got a break after so long of nothing and he had the glory ripped away from him.

"I thought I might find you here" You spoke softly with a smile as you found Rimmer in his usual spot at the observation dome.

"Why can I never have anything good?" Rimmer sighed, leaning on the railing staring out into deep space.

"Hey, you got me didn't you?" You smiled, resting your chin on his shoulder as your hand rubbed the top of his arm. 

"That's true" A small smile took over his lips "Sorry if that offended you"

"Of course it didn't" You laughed a little, you weren't in the least bit offended.

"Well I guess everyone knows now" Rimmer mumbled, something was still bothering him.

"Anything else you're worried about?" You asked as he took a deep breath. 

"It's nothing" Rimmer tried to smile but you could see straight through it.

"It wouldn't have anything to do with Ace trying to take me away from you would it?" You knew you had hit nerve when his arm tensed up beneath your palm. 

"Well he is a better version of me, I wouldn't blame you for choosing him" Rimmer looked away.

"Now why would I want to do that?" You raised your eyebrow at Rimmer who still refused to look at you.

"Just look at him" Rimmer grumbled.

"He's a pompous git who needs a haircut" You heard a soft chuckle from Rimmer "I like the Rimmer standing next me"

"You're the only one that does" Rimmer finally turned to face you.

"Hey stop putting yourself down" You reached up to cup his face in your hands "If it makes you feel any better I've got a few ideas on how to wind Lister and Cat up now they know about us" 

"God you're perfect!" A grin took over Rimmer's face, he not only got to love and be loved but he also got to wind up his crew mates with you and it wasn't long before the two of you got to work. 

A normal ordinary afternoon on the dwarf with not a lot to be done and not a lot to do, you and Rimmer enjoying each other's company in his bunk to change things up ...much to Listers annoyance.

"Arnie why do you have your swimming certificates framed on the wall?" You giggled, your head resting on his shoulder as you looked up at the frames on the wall above you.

"Why not?" Rimmer chuckled "And before you say it I know it's not cool"

"No no, I'm just wondering why you only got your bronze and silver?" You smiled.

"It took him so long to get those two, he was too old for the swimming club" Lister teased from the bunk above you.

"Lister shut up!" Rimmer snapped back as you tried to hold back your laugh "Oi you!"

"I didn't do anything?" You giggled.

"You laughed!" Rimmer raised his eyebrow with a smile, he could never be mad at you.

"And what are you gonna do about it?" You smirked as Rimmer chuckled.

"I know what you're doing!" Rimmer tried to keep quiet as he pulled you closer.

"Don't even think about it!" Lister growled from the top bunk.

"We haven't done anything?" Rimmer replied, his eyes glued to yours as you both tried to hide your laughter.

"Oh don't give me that" Lister clearly wasn't happy.

"Oh you mean this?" Rimmer grinned at you before leaning into kiss you, making as much noise as he possibly could to piss Lister off even more.

"FOR SMEGSAKE!" Lister covered his ears with his pillow "Why are you still here?"

"It's my bunk Listy?" Rimmer was enjoying the wind up far too much.

"Not you ...her!" Lister spat.

"Look I get you're pissed but don't take it out on her" It felt weird having Rimmer stand up for you and protect you, it was almost always the other way round.

"Maybe I should go" You sighed as you tried to get up, stopped by Rimmer's arm across your waist.

"Hang on, why should you leave just because he's jealous that we're happy" Rimmer looked at you a little upset that you were about to leave.

"You know Cat won't come in the room if he knows you two are in here?" Lister grumbled.

"Oh please he very rarely entered a room if I was in there anyway" Rimmer wasn't about to let this go.

"Come on let's go to my quarters, let Lister calm down" You smiled as you got up.

"It's not fair you know, just because you're miserable and thinking about Kochanski again doesn't mean we should have to suffer" Rimmer growled at Lister as he too got up.

"Arnie let's go" You tugged at his hand.

"Arnie let's go" Lister mimicked you in a full blown strop. 

"I don't care what you do or say to me but leave Y/N alone" Rimmer's dropped as he scolded Lister.

"Or what? You're a coward Rimmer, you won't do anything?" The tables had turned and now Lister was trying to piss off Rimmer ...and he was succeeding. 

"I'm hard light, don't think I won't use it Listy!" Rimmer warned him as you tugged his hand again.

Once you were far enough down the corridor that you couldn't be hard you started to talk. 

"Arnie promise me you won't do anything stupid and get yourself hurt" You looked up at him with concern in your eyes.

"Are you really suggesting I just let him get away with being an ass to you?" Rimmer was clearly riled up and you had never seen him like this.

"Hey I can protect myself ok!" You held his face in your hand as you stood on your tiptoes to place a gentle kiss to his lips before continuing to walk on.

"Yeah alright Mighty Mouse" Rimmer smiled as he followed, a little confused when you turned in the opposite direction of your quarters "Erm you're quarters are that way?"

"We're not going to my quarters" You gave him a sly smile.

"Then where are we going?" Rimmer raised his eyebrow as you pulled a small black switchblade from inside your boot.

"We're going to find Kochanski's holo disc" You smiled as you flicked up the blade.

"Ok that's not worrying at all" Rimmer chuckled at you with the knife.

Chapter Text

Even though Rimmer was always changing its hiding place you knew where the holo disc was after all you did know him better than anyone else.

"How did you know where I hid it?" Rimmer was stunned as you started unscrewing the cover of the air vent he'd hidden the disc in.

"I know you too well Arnie" You smiled as you pulled off the cover to reveal an empty vent "It's not there?"

"What? It has to be? That's where I put it?" Rimmer crouched down beside you to look in the vent "...Kryten!!"

"What about him?" You asked as you started putting the vent cover back.

"That bloody bogbot must've cleaned the vents" Rimmer shook his head.

"But don't the vents self clean?" You asked.

"This is Kryten we're talking about" Rimmer smiled.

"Touché" You replied as you stood up "Let's go find him see if he knows" 

After traipsing round the ship for what felt like hours, not surprising given it's the size of a city, you finally found the mechanoid, happily humming away while mopping the medi bay floor. 

"Hey Krytes you wouldn't happen to know the whereabouts of a certain holo disc would?" You asked sitting down on the bed as Rimmer followed.

"Surely one Mr Rimmer is enough ma'am?" Kryten asked earning a grumble from the hologram next you. 

"She means Kochanski's disc" Rimmer groaned glaring at the mechanoid who hadn't even thought about stopping what he was doing.

"I haven't seen it sir, why?" Kryten asked finally coming to a stop.

"Yeah why?" Rimmer looked at you, realizing he never actually asked why you wanted the disc.

"Well Lister is quite obviously depressed and missing Kochanski" You explained.

"Well that's nothing new" Rimmer scoffed.

"That might be true but I don't think him seeing us together is helping" You replied as Kryten nodded in agreement.

"It's true, you too are like a couple of lovesick teenagers, always giggling and kissing each other" Kryten complained, he may not have grasped all the human emotions but even he was getting fed up with you and Rimmer ...not that that was going to stop either of you.

"Hey I can't help it, he's just so loveable!" You grinned, gently placing your hand under Rimmer's chin and placing a kiss to his cheek as he smiled. 

"Ma'am please" Kryten shuddered, his neck disappearing into his suit like a turtle hiding in its shell.

"So if it's not in the vent and Kryten hasn't seen where is it?" You asked, looking at Rimmer. In a matter of minutes every scutter on the dwarf was now lined up in-front of you, Rimmer and Kryten in the medi bay, Rimmer almost buzzing through the roof at leading his own little robot army. 

"Right you lot!" He commanded as he paced back and forth "We've got a task for you! For some reason Y/N wants Lister to be happy! ...Ow!"

Rimmer jumped as you pinched him while Kryten tried not to let the laugh he was holding back escape. 

"As I was saying before Y/N so rudely pinched me..." Rimmer shot a playful glare at you."Don't make me do it again!" You warned him with a smile.

 "We want you to search the entire ship for Miss Kristine Kochanski's holo disc ...apparently Lister's happiness matters now ...Ow! Alright I'll stop" Rimmer chuckled as you pinched him again as the scutters set off on their mission.

"Good one ma'am" Kryten commended you with a nod.

"Thanks Krytes" You smirked at Rimmer as he pretended to sulk. 

"Y'know ma'am I could see if Miss Kochanski updated her personality file before the radiation leak happened?" Kryten suggested "Just in case we can't find the holo disc?"

"Kryten you're a genius! ...personality files, why didn't I think of that?" You smiled as you sat with Kryten at the computer monitor. 

"Hey?" Rimmer made himself known as yours and Krytens eyes shot up from the screen.

"Everything ok?" You looked at him as he pouted "Tell you what, why don't Arnold and I go check the holosuite?"

"Good idea ma'am" Kryten agreed knowing full well Rimmer just wanted your attention.

"Arnold?" Rimmer looked at you with an eyebrow raised, you very rarely called him anything but Arnie.

"Come on you!" You laughed as you pulled on Rimmer's hand to take him out of the room "You're a smeghead you know that?" 

"Oh I know!" Rimmer chuckled in your ear as he wrapped his arms around your waist as you tried to walk.

"Now which way was the holo suite?" You pondered.

"We're not really going there are we?" Rimmer groaned as you reached the lift at the end of the corridor.

"Do I really need to answer that?" You smiled as you gently pushed him into the lift "Let's go!"

"Oooohhh" Rimmer sulked as you told the lift where you needed to go. 

Finally reaching the hologram projection suite it had occurred to you that you had never actually been inside it, this was the room that was essentially keeping you and Rimmer 'alive'. Flashing lights and monitors everywhere alongside a huge metal cabinet which you could only assume contained the Red Dwarf crew holo discs. 

"Annnnd it's locked ...let's go" Rimmer was almost estatic that the cabinet was locked.

"Well is there a key?" You asked.

"I've never seen one and I would've thought Kryten would have mentioned it before we left the medi bay" Rimmer replied "Let's go?"

"Ah ah not so fast!" You smiled as you pulled a hair pin from your pocket and a paper clip from a file on the desk.

"What are you doing?" Rimmer looked at you confused as you straightened out the pin and the clip "Are you going to try and pick the lock?" 

"Not just try honey!" You grinned as the lock came undone and dropped to the floor "I would've thought someone like you would be a lot more prepared"

"Well this is normally Kryten or Listers area of expertise" Rimmer shrugged "My god it's a mess!"

"Well let's get started then" You smiled handing Rimmer as stack of discs.

An hour or so later and every surface of the holo suite was covered in discs, in stacks that were organized alphabetically by Rimmer.

"See I knew you find interest somewhere" You looked over at Rimmer who had sat down with his feet up on the table and his arms crossed across his chest.

"What do you mean?" Rimmer asked as you started putting the discs back in the cabinet in their new order. 

"I have noticed the alphabetical order Arnie" You smiled "No Kochanski though?"

"You know if the scutters do find this disc and we give it to Lister, Cat will start complaining?" Rimmer mumbled.

"Yeah I know but there was only one other option and you'd lose your mind" You spoke calmly.

"And that is?" Rimmer sat up properly.

"Well I could let Lister take me on a date" Rimmer's  face started to turn red "One date!"

"No, absolutely not, no way" Rimmer snapped "I'm not letting him borrow my girlfriend"

"Ah so I am your girlfriend then?" You grinned as you walked over to him. 

"Well I thought it was kind of obvious" Rimmer's lips started to curl as you stood behind him.

"I know but I've never actually heard you say it, what's going on with you anyway?" You spoke softly as you wrapped your arms around him "Is someone sulking because they're not getting my attention?"

"A little bit yeah" Rimmer tried to keep a straight face as he looked up at you but with you stood behind him talking ever so sweetly in his ear he found it difficult.

"I also know you're not too happy about helping Lister out when he stole your chance to tell everyone about us?" You continued to speak softly in his ear before placing a kiss to his cheek "May I remind you that even though it didn't go the way you had hoped they're still jealous ...isn't that kind of what you wanted?"

"I guess yeah" Rimmer smiled as you walked round to stand in front of him.

"Anything I can do to cheer you up?" You asked as a devilish grin took over his face "Except that ...not here anyway"

"Ah damn" Rimmer had the devil in his eyes as you sat down on his lap, his arms instantly wrapped round you. In one swift action he could've had every disc and file off the desk and on the floor and have his way but he knew you'd tell him off.

"Maybe later though" You whispered in his ear as he chuckled leaning into kiss you as someone else cleared their throat.

"Gross!" It was Cat! Leaving as soon as he appeared. 

"Hey look we're three for three now" You smiled as Rimmer laughed burying his face into the crook of your neck.

"Come on let's get this cleared up" Rimmer looked over at the endless piles of discs. 

"I hope the scutters do find the disc" You sighed as you stood up.

"Why? Why are you so interested in Listers happiness anyway?" Rimmer grumbled, his good mood abruptly coming to its end.

"He's my friend?" You replied trying not to take Rimmers tone of voice personally.

"He's a goit!" Rimmer spat, his eyes locked on the discs he was placing back in the cabinet.

"Look I understand your still upset but I'm not going to put up with this every time my attention is focused on someone else" You were starting to get a little annoyed, you knew Rimmer was complex, that he needed reassurance and that this was always going to be a problem but it didn't mean it didn't upset you. 

"You won't find that disc!" Rimmers voice dropped so much it could barely be heard.

"What?" You looked at him as he looked at the floor.

"You wont find that disc!" He spoke up still refusing to look at you as the guilt took over.

"What do you mean? Arnie what have you done with it?" You stood with your hands on your hips, your patience wearing thin "Why won't I find it?"

"Because I flushed it out of an airlock months ago" Rimmer finally confessed "And I hid the case in the air vent to make everyone think it was still on board"

"You have got to be kidding me?" You sighed "You let me do all this knowing full well I'd never find it? Why can't you deal with Lister being happy?"

"Look I flushed that disc way before you glitched here, it had nothing to do with you!" Rimmer tried to explain himself "That disc would've just made him more miserable, she split up with him for someone else before the radiation leak happened, she wasn't interested in him, I was protecting him"

"Protecting him? Or were you really protecting yourself  so your esteem didn't crushed again?" You snarled, you didn't want to be mean but you were pissed and not about to let it go.

"Why are you pissed with me?" Rimmer couldn't understand why his mistake affected you.

"You know I love you more than anything but sometimes you are an insufferable prick Arnold!" You sighed as you went to leave.

"Please don't leave me!" Rimmer panicked.

"I'm not going to leave you ...but you do need to sort this jealousy of yours out" You replied before walking away.You knew Rimmer meant no harm to you, after all he flushed it before you arrived on the dwarf but you knew all the while Rimmer's jealousy ran rampant in his head it would drive a wedge between the two of you. He's rationality knew you were only trying to help out Lister as a friend and nothing more but the raging green monster could only assume the worst and it was slowly taking over.

Chapter Text

"What do you want me to do?" Rimmer shouted after you as he chased you down the corridor. 

"Well for a start you need to tell Lister what you've done with Kochanski's disc?" You stood with your arms crossed.

"I can't tell him, he'll flush me out of an airlock" Rimmer  was full of panic about possibly losing you "What about you?"

"Don't worry about me, I understand why you did it but you need to tell him!" You spoke sternly as you walked off, turning back after a few steps "and until you do ...I'm off limits"

Despite telling him not to worry about you he quite clearly was, it also wasn't long before the others picked up on the tension between you two,  hoping that distancing yourself from him would make him act quicker. 

"Morning!" You smiled as you walked into Starbug's cockpit, standing next to Rimmer's chair as he looked at you a little upset that you weren't being your usual self, leaning against his chair.

"Krytes found a derelict on the scanner, thought we'd check it out before we head home" Lister smiled, clearly Rimmer hadn't told him yet.

"Sleep well?" Rimmer tried to spark conversation.

"Yeah fine thanks" You didn't even look at him as you sat down in Cat's seat, the feline must've already been on his second nap of the day, after all he has prepare for his main snooze.

"Is everyting ok ma'am?" Kryten asked as you turned to smile at him.

"Ooh trouble in paradise?" Lister smirked as Rimmer squirmed in his seat.

"No we're fine aren't we Arnie?" You smiled at Rimmer who was completely confused by your behaviour.

"Sure" He gave you a half hearted smile.

"Right bring her in Listy, I'll go wake up Cat" You patted Lister on the shoulder.

"Good luck!" Lister laughed.

"I don't need luck Listy!" You smirked as you left.

Before long you were all on the derelict, creeping quietly through the ship as the scanner in your hands lit up. 

"Hmm theres life signs" You grumbled, Kryten peering over your shoulder to look at the scanner.

"Suggest we split into two groups" Kryten suggested "We're more of a target together"

"Kryten lets go!" Rimmer turned to leave as you shot your arm out in front of him.

"Krytes take Cat and Lister ...goalpost head is with me" You replied straight faced as the others walked off.

"I don't think the name calling was necessary?" Rimmer grumbled as you walked on.

It didn't take long for Rimmer to get frustrated with the silent treatment as you continued to walk round quietly, consistently monitoring the scanner in your hand. 

"I know you're angry that I lied about Kochanski's disc and that you're off limits but you could at least talk to me" Rimmer finally broke the tension.

"You still haven't told him have you?" You asked not taking your eyes away from the scanner. 

"I will tell him, but I want you to stop ignoring me" Rimmer replied as you stopped him at the end of the corridor buzzed.

"Can we talk about this later?" You whispered.

"Why can't we talk about it now?" He asked.

"Shh" You shushed him as you brought your finger to your lips.

"Y/N?" With a swift swing of your arm your hand was plastered over Rimmer's mouth.

"Take this and keep that" You whispered as pointed to his mouth and handed him the scanner "quiet!"

Your hand over his mouth was the only touch he had received from you since he confessed about the holo disc and while it wasn't exactly what he wanted ...it was still something and if it weren't for you holding a loaded bazookoid he would've had you against the wall with his lips firmly against yours. Those thoughts were knocked straight out of his mind by the sound of you firing the bazookoid although he was shocked to see the life form you had been tracking frozen in its tracks instead dead in a heap on the floor.

"How did you...? The bazookoids can't..." Rimmer couldn't quite finish a full sentence.

"I'm an engineer and we're 3 million years into deep space ...I get bored alright" You grumbled as you went over to the frozen creature "Niiice"

"I only asked" Rimmer muttered  "What is it?"

"Some sort of transforming mutant" You pondered over it, resisting the urge to poke and prod it. For all you knew it could be poisonous or toxic.

"Polymorph?" Rimmer asked.

"A polymorph transforms into to different objects to blend with its surroundings" You looked at the mutant curiously "This simply turns itself invisible"

"Well what does it do?" Rimmer was growing impatient. 

"I think I know" You smiled "But I'll need to Kryten to confirm"

"Meanwhile we're going to stay here with this thing ...how long will it stay frozen for?" Rimmer was starting to panic at the thought of hanging around an unknown mutant. 

"Hey Krytes we've found the life form, we're at the end of B deck" You spoke into your watch.

"On our way ma'am" Kryten's voice replied through the watch.

With the derelict not even being a quarter of the size of the dwarf it didn't take long for the other 3 to find you. Rimmer was sat on the floor, leaning against a wall with his legs stretched out sulking while you were completely fascinated by the creature you had frozen. 

"Is that it?" Lister asked as he spotted that it was frozen "Have you been modifying things again?"

"So what if i have? shoot me" You smiled as Lister chuckled "What do you think Kryten?

Before Kryten could answer the frozen mutant broke free, transforming into a huge green skinny monster, spitting as it hissed at you all. 

"It's a psy-mutant" Kryten could just about be heard over the screeching.

"What the hell is a psy-mutant?"  Lister shouted.

"Much like a psy-moon, a psy-mutant feeds of a persons pysche and transforms into their strongest negative emotion" Kryten explained.

"So who's it feeding of?" Rimmer asked as everyone locked and loaded their bazookoids.

"You  sir!" Kryten answered as everyone sighed and rolled their eyes ...of course it was.

"Arnie ...thats your jealousy!" You looked at Rimmer and you could've sworn that had he been alive and had a heart you would've seen it drop to the floor, he never meant for this, he knew his jealousy was a problem but he never meant for it to become everyone else's problem.

"What have you got to be jealous about?" Lister growled as Rimmer became paralysed by the fear and guilt of being confronted by his jealousy.

"Should we shoot?" Cat asked.

"The bazookoids won't touch it" You sighed "The only way to defeat this thing is if you let it out"

"Let it out?" Rimmer looked at you a little confused but mostly terrified.

"If you keep this all bottled up, that thing will keep munching on it and we wont stand a chance but if you just say whats on your mind, let everything out thats causing your jealousy it wont have anything to feed on and we can kill it" You explained "I know its difficult Arnie but its the only way"

"I c..can't" Rimmer stuttered, the both of you knew it wasn't just his jealousy it was feeding on, it was slurping up his guilt too.

"Rimmer you need to tell him now" You looked at him, your eyes glistening over as you knew that what was about to happen was going to torture him "You'll feel so much better Arnie I promise"

"I'm so sorry" Rimmer looked at you with so much guilt and sorrow in his eyes as tears fell down his cheek.

"Don't worry about me, its Lister you need to talk to" You had almost forgot about the others watching you "Tell him Arnie"

"Tell me what?" Lister grew concerned.

"I..I ...I flushed Kochanski's disc out of an airlock" Rimmer stuttered as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat, the jealousy monster letting out a loud screech as it took a hit.

"Ah ...this is awkward" Lister looked at the floor. 

"What do you mean?" You asked as you anticipated his answer, he already knew and had already plotted his revenge unbeknown to anyone else.

"I already knew about that ...and in retaliation  ...I might have flushed your revision time tables" Lister replied as a small smile formed on Rimmer's face.

"I suppose thats fair" Rimmer sighed.

"Ok I'm glad thats all sorted but that green gooey thing is still here" Cat reminded them.

"I said everything why is it still here?" Rimmer asked.

"Because thats not everything is it Arnie?" You spoke softly "Maybe it would be easier if you three gave us a moment" 

"Are you sure?" Lister asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't worry I'll kick its arse if I need too" You smiled as he nodded and lead the others away "Arnie you can do this"

"I don't want to think about it" Rimmer scrunched his eyes closed.

"Arnie you can do this" You spoke softly and calmly.

"No I can't" He shook his head as he fought back the tears.

"Yes you can" You smiled as you turned him away from the creature,  cupping his face in your hands "I know you can"

"Why are you with me?" Rimmer started to break down.

"Because I love you" You could feel the tears fighting to escape your own eyes. 

"I'm out of my mind, I'm a jealous good for nothing waste of space" Rimmer sniffed as you let his forehead rest against yours "If I didn't have such a problem with getting the breaks, if I didn't get jealous every time someone else was happy, if I just shut myself away from the world maybe this wouldn't have happened, I'm not supposed to be happy, things aren't meant to go my way. I don't deserve anything"

"You know thats not true" You sobbed as you heart ached listening to Rimmer completely breakdown.

"Even my own parents didn't like me or my brothers" Rimmer kept his eyes shut tight.

"None of the way you're feeling right now is your fault Arnie" You kept your voice quiet so only he could hear you "It's not your fault you were treated so poorly, you do deserve to be happy ...more than anyone"

"Then why does everyone treat me so badly?" Rimmer sobbed, it felt strangely relieving for him to be so open and vulnerable and not be shot down further, his legs began to give way underneath him as he fell to the floor. Dropping down beside him and wrapping him up in your arms, gently rocking him back and forth as he cried. He hadn't even noticed the mutant had gone.

"Unfortunately some people are just awful" You spoke softly in his ear before placing a much awaited kiss next to the 'h' on his forehead "and those people don't deserve you in their lives"

"Please never leave me" Rimmer looked up at you, his eyes glossy and his cheeks puffy and red.

"That never even crossed my mind Arnie" You smiled as Rimmer's lips started to curl.

"I love you" Rimmer sniffed as his hand found its way to your cheek.

"I love you too Arnie" You smiled as you helped him up off the floor "Lets get you back to Starbug"

"The mutant's gone?" It was only now that Rimmer remembered why they were there.

"You defeated it!" You grinned as he chuckled "Come on lets get out of here"

Once back on Starbug with the others Rimmer opted to go to bed, he was exhausted physically and mentally.

"I'll wake you up when we're back on the dwarf alright" You smiled sweetly as you leant down to kiss him on the cheek before turning off the lights and going back to the rest of crew.  

Thankfully you weren't that far away so it wasn't long before you were back home. You assumed Rimmer had gone to his bunk to go back to sleep as you curled up in yours to read, so when he suddenly appeared in your door way at 3am you were a little surprised.

"I thought you were sleeping" You smiled as he stood in the doorway  with his hands behind his back.

"I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep" Rimmer spoke quietly. 

"Lister not up? It's not his bedtime yet?" You asked "Are you coming in?"

"He's happily munching on a curry I brought up for him" Rimmer looked down at the floor "And I didn't want to over step boundaries"

"Are you ok?" You looked at him a little concerned " Come in I won't bite ...not this time"

"Its nothing, just feeling a little bad about what happened and I know he flushed my timetables but I wanted to do something to say sorry" Rimmer blushed as he walked into your quarters "I mean he is my friend after all"

"Are you sure you're ok?" You laughed as Rimmer chuckled "Don't worry I won't tell him you called him your friend"

"Thanks" Rimmer smiled, revealing the beautiful bouquet of flowers he was hiding behind his back "These are for you" 

"Where on io did you get these from?" You grinned as he handed them to you "They're gorgeous!" 

"Kryten has been working in the botanical gardens, he let me take some flowers to make you a bouquet ...I should show you some time you'll love it" Rimmer was babbling, pleased to see you smiling. 

"Thank you Arnie!" You smiled at him as you filled an empty red plastic cup with water to put the flowers in.

"Thank you for putting up with me" Rimmer mumbled.

"What are you muttering about?" You laughed a little as you raised your eyebrow at him. 

"After what I put you through over the last couple of weeks, you're still here" Rimmer had gone back to the nervous, innocent person when you first started dating. 

"You don't give up on someone you love" You gently took his hand in yours.

"Even if they're as messed up as me?" Rimmer's eyes finally met yours.

"I love you no matter what, you know that" You smiled as you stared into the chocolate brown eyes staring back at you.

"I really don't deserve you" Rimmer eyes lit up as he smiled.

"Hey no more putting yourself down ok?" You gently squeezed his hand "Promise?"

"Promise!" Rimmer chuckled.

"Now are you going to kiss me or not?" You smirked as Rimmer took off his jacket and threw it to the side of the room, after a little over two weeks of not being able to touch, hold or kiss you he was definitely a little touch starved. 

"I thought you'd never ask" Rimmer grinned as he held your face in his hands, feeling his body press against yours as he brought you into the most passionate kiss he had ever given you or anyone for that matter, his arms dropping to your waist, sitting perfectly at the bottom of your back as you let your hands rest on his chest, feeling each other smile between kisses "Can I stay with you tonight?"

"I already assumed you would" You laughed as you brought him into another kiss.

"I love you" Rimmer replied softly as he took your hand in his and walked you over to the bed as you both sat down.

"I love you too Arnold Judas Rimmer" You smiled sweetly, his face lighting up like a child on christmas as you said the words. Delicately tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear with his fingertips he leant in to kiss you again, his arm around your waist as you both slowly fell down onto your bunk.

Chapter Text

"You have no idea how much I missed this" Rimmer smiled as he let his fingertips slowly graze your cheek, propped up on his elbow as he hovered over you slightly.

"Hey it was only two weeks?" You spoke softly, placing your hand on his bare chest. 

"Two weeks too long" He chuckled.

"Well we can always make up for lost time" You smiled as you placed your finger under his chin, bringing his face closer to yours.

"Don't have to ask me twice" Rimmer grinned as he leant into kiss you, interupted by the sound of the door to your quarters sliding open. 

"Kryten wants everyone in the medi-bay" Lister mumbled as he stood in the doorway focused on the handheld game console he had found somewhere on the ship.

"Erm Listy, kinda busy!" Rimmer chuckled still hovering over you as the two of you kept your eyes on each other and not on the intruder. 

"Huh? ...OH SMEG!" Lister cringed as he realized what he had walked into, turning away and covering his eyes "Why didn't you lock the smegging door?" 

"They did invent the knock for a reason Lister?" You smiled as Rimmer fell down beside you laughing.

"Whatever, just put some clothes on and get to the medi-bay" Lister shuddered as he walked off, sending both you and Rimmer into a full fit of giggles.

"Now where were we?" Rimmer had a cheeky grin on his face as he resumed his position over you. 

"We should probably get to the medi-bay" You spoke softly, placing your hand on his chest to stop him.

"But?" Rimmer looked at you with puppy eyes hoping you'd give in.

"We'll come back to this later" You placed a kiss to his lips before getting up, caught off guard by Rimmer sneezing "... erm bless you?"

"Thank you" Rimmer replied noticing the weird look you were giving him "...what?"

"Holograms don't sneeze" You raised your eyebrow.

"Ah it's probably a glitch or something, I'm sure it's fine" Rimmer waved you off as he too got up. Holograms aren't able to get sick so why was Rimmer sneezing? He could be right about a glitch though, lightbees are notorious for it.

As the two of you reached the medi-bay you were greeted with silence ...had Lister told them what happened? After all he couldn't even look at the two of you now.

"What's going on Krytes?" You asked, the tension in the room so thick you could probably touch it.

"Ah yes, well I was experimenting with the viruses we found a while ago on an abandoned medical ship and when I connected the test tubes up to the system this happened..." Kryten pointed to the test tubes.

"I'm not sure what I'm looking at here Krytes?" You smiled, he obviously forgot that you weren't around then. 

"Hey they've changed colour?" Lister pointed out.

"Exactly!" Kryten picked up one of the test tubes, almost dropping it as Rimmer sneezed again "Sir? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, have you spoken to Holly yet?" Rimmer batted him off as Lister switched on the nearest monitor.

"See you two sorted things out?" Cat scoffed, looking at your hand in Rimmer's.

"We couldn't be better" You smiled at Rimmer. 

"You can say that again" Lister grumbled under his breathe.

"What was that bud?" Cat asked curiously as Rimmer looked away with a smirk.

"Lister might have walked in on us" You replied with a small smile.

"...and we might have been a little preoccupied" Rimmer chuckled as Cats face contorted in disgust.

"Oh disgusting" Cat grimaced as Lister scrunched up his face.

"Thanks for reminding me" Lister shuddered again as Holly finally appeared on the screen looking a little worse for wear "Hol are you alright?"

"No Dave, I'm not alright" Hollys voice wobbled as he spoke, his eyes were red, puffy and watering, he sounded congested and a little down ...almost as if he had a cold.

"Sir are you sick?" Kryten asked in disbelief.

"But how? He's a computer?" Rimmer asked as Kryten started tapping away on the keyboard at a different monitor. 

"Sir I think I know why you're sneezing" The mechanoid looked straight at the terrified hologram beside you. 

"What's going on?" Lister asked a little lost.

"The ships computer system has picked up a virus" Kryten began to explain.

"As in a computer virus?" Lister was asking all the questions.

"So, what does it mean? What's happening?" You asked getting impatient as your concern for Rimmer grew.

"It explains why the test tubes changed colour" Kryten went off on a tangent. 

"Kryten!" Rimmer stopped him.

"Yes sir?"

"Get to the point!"

"Right, the computer virus is slowly infecting the entire ship, it started with Holly and I'm afraid you too sir" Kryten looked worried as Rimmer let out a sigh.

"Always one thing after another round here" Rimmer grumbled.

"How did we pick it up?" Cat asked trying his best to follow the conversation "...and where did we pick it up?"

"It could've been from anywhere sir, a passing ship, over radio waves with a ship we've communicated with ...even a crew mate on another ship that didn't know they were infected" Kryten exclaimed.

"So the virus manifested itself as a human cold or the flu in Holly and Rimmer?" You asked, you knew the answer but wanted to check anyway "Wait does that mean?" 

"Do we need to put goalpost head in quarantine?" Cat grinned as Rimmer let out a low snarl.

"What about you Krytes?" Lister asked the mech in panic.

"He'll be fine as long as he doesn't go on downtime and plug into the system" You sighed.

"What about you?" Rimmer looked at you worried, he knew the outcome of that question.

"Well if it's like a normal cold or flu chances are I've already been infected" You smirked at Rimmer a little. 

"Argh will you two stop it?" Lister groaned.

"Just for the record we weren't actually doing what you think we were doing" You clarified with a smile.

"We would've been had Lister not walked in" Rimmer raised his eyebrow with a grin as you nudged him in the side "Oh god please don't do that"

"So what's the plan then? What do we do?" Lister asked trying to take the conversation away from yours and Rimmer's sex life. 

"Arnie and I will isolate in my quarters" You managed to speak as your vision started to get blurry "Kryten do not plug yourself in to the system to charge or for anything else"

"Yes ma'am" Kryten nodded.

"Cat, Lister you're gonna have to take over for Kryten until we can get this gone" Suddenly the room was starting to spin, everything swirling into a pool of colour "Oh god"

"Are you ok?" Rimmer asked as he felt your grip tighten on his hand.

"Y/N?" Lister called out but you couldn't speak as the virus hit you in one big wave, some of your pixels flickering as your light bee struggled to fight back.

"We need to get her back to her quarters" You just about heard Rimmer mumble as everything gradually faded to black and your hard light body dropped to the floor. 

Despite not being well himself, he wasn't about to let someone else carry you as he used all his strength to pick you up off the floor. Normally these would be a breeze he thought, if it weren't for that smegging virus in his system.

"Right if you need anything use Y/N's watch, Cat and I will take turns between watching the drive room and looking after your guys" Lister explained although Rimmer was more focused on you as you lay out cold next to him on the makeshift bed Lister had put together "Rest up yeah?"

"Thanks Lister" Rimmer replied not taking his eyes off of you as Lister left, not long after you started to stir "Hey?"

"What happened?" You mumbled as your eyes fluttered open before instantly shutting them again feeling the burn of the lights in the room "Turn them off!"

"The virus quite literally knocked you out" Rimmer spoke softly "lights off!"

The room was now dimly lit, much better for your eyes, no longer feeling like someone had stabbed a hot poker in both of them simultaneously. 

"Where did this come from?" You hands felt around the unfamiliar bed beneath you "This isn't my bunk?"

"Lister helped find a bigger bed from another sleeping quarters ...I figured with us both unwell it would be comfier?" Rimmer spoke quietly as to not aggravate your headache further. 

"You're too sweet!" You smiled as you tried to sit up, feeling your computer generated stomach flip "Ahh"

"Lay back down you're sick" Rimmer tried to take care of you despite not feeling great himself as you wrapped your arms around your stomach as Rimmer watched what little colour you had left drain from your face.

"Oh god, gonna barf gonna barf gonna barf" You shot up from the bed, almost tripping over your legs as they struggled with the speed you thought they were going as you made it over to the sink.

"Oh god not in here" Rimmer grimaced as you wretched into the sink.

"What do you want me to do? Hold it in?" You groaned as you breathed heavily "Haven't done that in awhile ...certainly didn't miss it"

"I'm sorry, feel a little better?" You noticed Rimmer wrap the blanket he was under tighter around him as he spoke.

"I feel like absolute smeg, what about you?" You sighed after splashing your face and rinsing your mouth with water.

"Ditto!" He grumbled as he shivered.

"Are you alright?" You asked as you climbed back into bed next to him.

"I feel really cold" His teeth chattered as he spoke, you were both experiencing things that should be physically impossible for a hologram "This virus feels weird and I don't like it"

"Me neither Arnie" You whispered as you snuggled up behind him, draping your arm over his waist. 

"I hope the others can get rid of it soon" Rimmer mumbled as he started to drift of to sleep as you followed not far behind. The virus knocking the metaphorical life out of both you, like Lister or Cat with the flu ....well man flu.

The peaceful silence of your quarters was slightly ruined by a high pitched squeal and the sound the of rattling wheels.

"Owwww how are you feeling bud? ...and non-bud?" Cat grinned as you stirred a little, Rimmer not budging a smidge as you let him rest.

"Cat what are you wearing? Is that your spacesuit?" You let out a soft laugh as you rubbed your eyes "Unless you've been eating Listers robot goldfish again you can't catch it"

"I know but I ain't taking the risk" Cat grinned, faultless logic as always ...well maybe more thoughtless than anything "Novelty condom head made you both some soup ...don't ask about the rolls"

"Caaaaat?" You were thankfully for the amusement Cat had brought along with him, you didn't care about the missing food "You ate them on your way up didn't you?"

"I'm a cat ...we have to eat regularly or we get grouchy" Cat was still grinning "Anyway enjoy buds!" 

"Thanks Cat" You smiled as he left, Rimmer beginning to stir next to you "Hey Krytes made us soup, Cat just brought it up?"

Expecting a mumble or a moan you weren't expecting the almost deafening groan from Rimmer as he curled up tightly in a ball.

"Arnie?" You tried to gently move his to face you but he instantly snapped back into the same position, his hands holding his head "What's wrong?"

"Make it stop!" He screeched, holding onto his head as he writhed around in pain "HELP!"

"Hey, breathe" You tried rubbing his back to soothe him but he continued to scream, squeezing his head tighter as his projection started to faded between hard and soft light.

"It burns" Rimmer cried burying his face into the pillow, his projection getting fainter by the second as the panic set in. 

"I'm sorry Arnie" You couldn't hold the tears back any longer, hissing as they hit Rimmer's soft light body before it flickered back to hard light "I'm going to have to pull your light bee"

"Please just do it" Rimmer's was barely audible as he cried, his projection stuck in a faint and fuzzy soft light as you pulled his light bee. The heat it was producing would've definitely burned straight through your hand if you weren't a hologram yourself, weeping as you held the small device in your hand. 

"I heard screaming is everything ok?" Lister ran in out of breath.

"The anti-virus software is running and..." Kryten wasn't far behind as he spotted Rimmer's light bee that you were cradling in your hands "Oh ma'am"

Chapter Text

Within in an hour of Kryten initiating the antivirus software the virus was gone but it was too late, the damage was done as you sat in the medi-bay staring at his light bee, still hooked up to the system even though it had been over a week since the virus was wiped as the mechanoid insisted you be monitored. 

"Krytes isn't there something else you could put his bee in?" You grumbled, your eyes glued to the table.

"Ma'am that is a high end piece of light bee tech?" Kryten exclaimed as you scrunched up your nose, you were pretty sure it was just an eggcup he'd gotten from the kitchen.

"Kryten it's an eggcup!" You groaned as you heard a faint grumble from the mech working away behind you "Why isn't he back yet?"

"I know you're upset but I did say it could take a couple of weeks ...maybe even months?" Kryten replied as he tried to take your vital observations while you were swatting him away.

"MONTHS?!" That was a little louder than you intended but you were pissed, clearly some higher force had it out for your relationship with Rimmer ...or maybe it was just Lister and Cat.

"Miss Y/N you've not left the medi bay, why don't you go and spend some time with the others, take your mind off things?" Kryten suggested innocently.

"Take my mind off things? Kryten I'm not leaving here until Arnold leaves here" You scolded the mechanoid as he quickly scurried out of the medi bay to avoid your rath "Bog bot!"

You never thought it possible but you were lost without him, starting to understand how he felt when you distanced yourself from him for two weeks after the holo disc incident. 

"Arnie please come back soon, I can't deal with these smegheads without you" Your lips curled into a slight smile as you sat with your elbow on the desk in front of you with your face in your palm, your other hand reaching out to delicately run your fingertips over Rimmer's light bee. It was almost cold to touch compared to when he first burnt out. 

The week eventually turned into two before reaching almost a month without no sign of Rimmer's return. You knew it would take time, after all his light bee had to be completely drained of power before another antivirus software could be run and now you were just waiting on his light bee to hold enough power to project his hard light body again, a body you were desperate to touch and hold although at this point all you really wanted was to hear his voice. 

After much encouragement from the others you finally allowed yourself to leave the medi bay, on the one condition that you could ask to see the live camera whenever you needed. By this point you had fixed almost every possible fault in the ship, even resulting to modifying some things far more than they needed to be just to keep yourself occupied. You had never noticed how Rimmer had become a kind of censor when it came to your own mental health. With him you were always distracted, always more concerned about his well being than your own and thus almost forgetting your own traumas.

"Arnie I know you like to take your time, but your taking the smeg" You laughed a little as you watched the lights on his bee flicker "I'm losing my mind without you, I miss you"

You got used to the silence when you spoke to his light bee but you almost jumped out of your chair when it rattled and buzzed in it's stand. 

"What the?" You furrowed your brows, holding your hand on your chest as you tried to catch your breath ...so to speak  "Whoever invented these light bees needs a slap!"

Again Rimmer's light bee buzzed on the desk, almost like he was laughing at your dig. 

"Wait a minute..." You pondered as you picked up the light bee from the table "Can you hear me?" 

You watched as the light bee danced in your hands, your eyes tearing up as a smile spread across your face. 

"Hey" You spoke quietly, Rimmer's light bee giving a short buzz in response "Ok I'm gonna put you back before I drop and break you" 

It was nice to know you could have something that resembled a conversation with him, making you feel a little less alone as you spent the next few hours talking to him, trying to decipher what the buzzes meant, making you completely unaware of Lister walking in. 

"Are you talking to his light bee again?" Lister spoke up making you jump almost as much as Rimmer's light bee did earlier. 

"So what if I am?" You smiled at the light bee.

"No wonder you two ended up together" Lister groaned as Rimmer's light bee gave out a loud sharp buzz, almost falling off the table "Can he hear me?"

"Alright you, calm down before your bee explodes" You laughed as you spoke to Rimmer's bee on the table, you could only assume the loud buzz was Rimmer calling Lister a smeghead or dog food face.

"Weeeird" Lister furrowed his brows as he tried to comprehend the situation "Anyway are you joining me and Cat for poker?"

"I'll pass tonight, I want to be here when Arnie's bee starts working again" You smiled as Lister gave a small tut followed by a 'suit yourself' as he walked away. 

The fact Rimmer could hear you meant that his light bee was slowly coming back to life and it would only be a matter of time before it could project his hard light form again. Grabbing the pillow from the medi bed and fluffing it up before placing it on the chair in front of you, you made sure everything was prepared for when he did come back. Before putting his light bee on the pillow you brought it up to your lips, placing a delicate kiss to the top of it as it buzzed softly in your hands.

"Please don't keep me waiting" You smiled sweetly before resting it on the pillow "Hol?"

"Yes Y/N?" Holly replied as he appeared on the monitor next to you. 

"Can I have Rimmer's jumper please?" You asked as a banana materialized in front of you "Erm Hol?"

"Yes?" 

"Thats a banana?" You couldn't help but laugh a little at Hollys blunder.

"Is it? Sorry there must still be a bug in my word recognition unit" Holly replied as the banana disappeared and Rimmer's jumper fell into your hands. 

"Thanks Hol!" You smiled as you put the jumper on, drowned in the soft snug material that he usually wore on your movie nights, wearing it was the closest thing to hugging him. 

Curling up in a ball in your chair, watching a film on the monitor while keeping a close eye on Rimmer's bee as the lights on it flickered in the chair next to you. Eventually giving up the fight to stay awake as your eye lids became heavy as you slowly drifted of to sleep. You hadn't slept or done much of anything since his light bee burnt out and it seemed you wasn't going to get much now either. Rimmer's light bee let out a sequence of loud buzzes, almost as if someone was in the corner of the room using an old photocopier. Struggling to open your eyes from your slumber, you were suddenly shaken from it as Rimmer's hard light form began to materialize in front of you.

"My light bee burns out and you steal my clothes?" Rimmer smiled as you sat in your chair speechless, happy tears falling down your face "Hey!"

"You're back!" You exclaimed jumping out of your chair as you threw yourself into his arms, almost sending both of you flying "I've missed you"

"I've missed you too" Rimmer replied, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off your feet, concerned as you wobbled when he put you back down "Are you alright?"

"I'm perfect" You smiled sweetly but you knew what he was getting at.

"You haven't been looking after yourself have you?" Rimmer raised his eye brow as his fingertips tugged at your waist.

"I was worried sick about you" You looked down at the floor, it was normally the other way round.

"Well it's my turn to look after you now" He spoke softly as he pulled you against him, placing a kiss to your forehead "Come on"

"What about the others?" You asked as you walked out of the medi bay towards your quarters "Don't you think they should know you're back"

"They can wait till the morning, I just want to spend one night alone with you" Rimmer smiled, he seemed a lot more confident than before "If that's ok?" ...there's the Rimmer you know and love. 

"Fine by me" You smirked as you reached your quarters, Rimmer stopping you before you could open the door, his hands cupping your face as his lips collided with yours "Couldn't wait till we were inside huh?"

"I haven't heard, seen or touched you for a month" Rimmer chuckled, his fingers locking with yours as his forehead rest against yours.

"Tell me about it" You spoke quietly as the door to your quarters opened behind you, revealing an almost completely different room to when Rimmer last saw it "What do you think?"

"Wow" Rimmer took a moment to take in his surroundings, what was once your bunk converted into a double bed, the empty bunk above it was now a book shelf, holding every book either of you owned "Was I really out that long?"

"Arnie you were out for a little over a month, I've pretty much fixed every problem on the ship, even starbug runs a lot smoother" You laughed as Rimmer's hands found your waist again.

"Your quarters looks amazing" He smiled as you let your hands rest on his shoulders.

"You know it could be our quarters?" You suggested, you know he had only just come back from his light bee burning out after a month but ultimately what the heck! 

"Hmm I like the sound of that" Rimmer held you tightly against him, you knew that wasn't a solid answer but you were just happy to have him back in your arms again "You look exhausted"

"I'm fine" You smiled as you both allowed yourselves to enjoy the moment.

"Darling, you need to sleep" Rimmer's voice was soft and sweet, the new nickname making your cheeks blush, up until this point he had always called you by your name.

"I'm just glad you're back" You mumbled as you wrapped your arms around his middle as tightly as you could, his arms around you like a protective barrier as he tried to hold as much of you as he possibly could, his chin resting on the top of your head. 

"Me too" The sound of his voice, the feel of his light bee humming against you, the touch of his arms around you made the weeks without proper sleep or nutrition seem like a distant memory, as if his presence was all the ammunition you needed to function "If you're not going to sleep there is something else we could do" 

You lifted you head up to look at him as his eyes darted over to the bed and back to you with a smirk. 

"Arnold Judas Rimmer!" You replied pretending to be shocked, knowing what he was hinting at you deciding to play him at his own game "What if I declined your suggestion?"

"Well..." His voice low as he spoke, his eyes not budging from yours as you both slowly walked over to the foot of the bed "I'll have to put you on report..."

"For what?" You laughed softly as he grinned down at you.

"For refusing to follow my command" Rimmer chuckled, feeling his arms tighten around you.

"May I remind you that I do in fact rank over you?" You smirked as you held his face in your hands, normally when someone pointed out their rank over him he'd throw what could only be described as a full on strop but with you he didn't care, you had always treated him as equal and therefore rank never mattered ...well almost.

"While that may be true, our ranks in the Space Corp are irrelevant in between these 4 walls" Rimmer chuckled as he leant into kiss you, carefully pushing his body against yours till you both hit the bed.

"Did you somehow get Kryten to give you a confidence boost?" You raised you eyebrow with a smile, your arms happily wrapped round Rimmer's shoulders as he hovered over you "Or have you officially gone insane?"

His behaviour was out of character but you couldn't deny you liked it, the more confident and more dominant side of him ...even if he was after something.

"Well love..." Rimmer propped himself up on his elbow and with a click of his fingers you were both in your 'nightwear' "can make you do crazy things!"

"You jammy goit!" You grinned as you reached for his face, slowly bringing it down to meet yours as your lips met in the middle. 

The others would probably tell you you're spending too much time with him, that you're slowly turning into him but you didn't care in the slightest as far as either of you were concerned they were just jealous ...except Kryten maybe. It made you sad to think of all the people that had let Rimmer down, treated him badly or straight up rejected him, while he was a complex being to understand, if you dug down far enough, got past the skyscraper like walls he had built to protect himself you'd find amongst the neuroses and past trauma there was someone sweet and sensitive, someone who much like everyone else just wanted to be loved and cared about ...someone who once they knew they could trust you would give you the universe just to see you smile.

Chapter Text

You were suddenly back in the medi bay only it was much darker this time as everything rattled around you, the ship shaking from an extortionately loud clap of thunder ...a little odd given you were in the middle of deep space miles away from any kind of asteroid or planet. You could feel the same searing heat in your hands that Rimmer's burnt out bee gave you before only to look down and see his light bee in shattered pieces in your hands. You tried to scream, speak ...anything but all that came was silence, you could feel your throat closing, almost as if someone was behind you with their hands around your neck, what felt like your heartbeat rang through your ears as it threatened to jump out of your chest ...wholly impossible being a hologram. Gripped by the terror and sheer panic you tried once more to scream or make some kind of noise to alert the others but once again nothing, your body completely paralyzed as you tried desperately to move, a faint whisper in the back of your mind telling you he was gone and there was nothing you could do about it as you finally let out a loud cry.

It was then your eyes shot open, gasping for air as you managed to get your body under control. Thank god it was a nightmare you thought as you turned to see Rimmer peacefully sleeping beside you, he was ok, he was as alive as can be. You gently brushed back his hair from his forehead before placing a kiss. It took every ounce of your hard light not to throw yourself on top of him and blubber like a baby. As you turned over to try and go back to sleep his arm slowly snuck round you, pulling you into him.

"You had a nightmare" Rimmer mumbled in your ear "You're alright"

He was barely awake as he tried to calm you down, you jolting awake must've have stirred him a little.

"Your light bee was shattered, you were gone" You sniffed, trying not to cry as you told him what happened. 

"I'm fine" He smiled as he gently turned you to lay on your back so you could see him "Absolutely fine"

"But your light bee" You mumbled as you reached out to hold his face in your hands.

"I'm fine" He said again, placing a soft kiss to the palm of your hand.

"But..." You stared up at him as he placed a finger to your lips.

"I'm tickety boo ...peachy even" He chuckled as you cracked a soft quiet laugh at what everyone would call a 'rimmerism', after all he was the only one to use the phrase  'ticketyboo and peachy' in the entire universe. 

"You're weird you know that?" You smirked as you brushed his hair back out of his face.

"Well you must be even weirder if you're with me?" Rimmer grinned.

"Well played!" You let your thumb softly graze his cheek as he leant in to kiss you ...the moment abruptly ruined by an alarm blaring from your watch on the side, the two of you looking at each other for what to do next.

"Every bloody time!" Rimmer grumbled "Do we need to go? I'm sure they can handle it?"

"Are you sure you want leave whatever is going on in their hands?" You raised your eyebrow at him, you knew the other three were more than capable of dealing with whatever it was but Rimmer felt otherwise. 

"God fine" Rimmer pretended to sulk as he got up.

With a quick snap of the fingers and a somewhat short journey to Starbug you were eventually reunited with the others.

"Hey lads whats going on?" You asked "Look who's back?"

It was then you noticed that Cat looked as if he was about to lose his breakfast as he and the two others refused to make eye contact.

"Oh we know he's back" Lister smirked, eyes glued to the console in front of him.

"What do you mean?" You asked as you and Rimmer looked at each other.

"Maybe Mr Cat would like to explain?" Kryten looked over at the feline who looked like he was going to barf any second.

"I'm good thanks" Cat groaned.

"Well someone needs to explain?" You demanded as Rimmer looked at you, his eyes widened as it dawned on him.

"Cat could smell that he was back" Lister explained, sarcasm in his voice.

"What do you... oh crap" You couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Remind me to get him a couple of corks for Christmas" Rimmer grumbled, you had both forgotten Cats super sonic sense of smell, the sense of smell that had caught whiff of the pheromones created by the previous night you and Rimmer had shared together. 

"Well that and the noise" Lister cleared his throat still refusing to look at either of you.

"Yeah well you can blame..." before you could finish that sentence Rimmer's hand was over your mouth.

"Ignore her!" Rimmer blushed as you licked the palm of his hand to get him to remove it from your face, wiping it on his trouser leg with a grumble "argh"

"Oh bite me ...we've done worse than that" You smirked at Rimmer as the other three shuddered awkwardly in their seats, Rimmer mimicking you as he sat down, the two of you behaving like kids on a playground.

"Alright you can stop now" Lister grumbled, tutting and sighing as you sat on Rimmer's lap, with the pure intention to piss everyone off that little bit more "I swear to god, you better not get up to any funny business in here when it's your watch ...and it definitely better not be in my seat"

"Ha uh oh" You sniggered as Rimmer buried his face in your shoulder "We may already be guilty there Dave"

"ARGH GOD" Lister shouted, bolting out of his chair.

"Calm down we only kissed" You were enjoying winding Lister up far too much.

"Not to worry sir, I'll disinfect your chair in just a moment" Kryten turned to look at you "Ma'am could I have a word?"

"Look Krytes we were just messing around, we didn't mean any harm" You rambled as you walked out of the cockpit assuming Kryten was going to tell you off until you noticed him walk over to the table in the middle of Starbugs stern and pick up something "Krytes?"

"Remember Miss Kochanski's missing holo disc?" Kryten replied.

"Of course, my gimboid of a boyfriend flushed it into deep space?" You smiled as Kryten sighed "Sorry, go on"

"Well I checked the personality files like I said and I managed to create a new disc" Kryten held out the box in his hands. 

"Kryten you rubber headed angel!" You exclaimed as you grabbed his face, pulling him down to kiss the top of his head, had it been possible he would have definitely been blushing "Would you keep it safe for me? Definitely don't tell Arnold!"

"Of course ma'am" Kryten cracked a smile "Now if you don't mind I have a chair to disinfect" 

Things were returning to normal, Rimmer was back and winding the others up with your help while the boys were bickering like usual. The balance of the ship had been restored ...well almost. 

After spending the morning checking out a derelict you had all finally returned to the dwarf, the mornings escapade had been forgotten as you and Lister stood in the boys quarters throwing a pair of balled up socks to each other across the room, socks that belonged to Rimmer as you refused to even be in the same vicinity as Listers. 

"Sorry about this morning" You smiled as you threw the socks over to Lister "I know we can be quite irritating" 

"Well he can be yeah" Lister smiled as he caught them and prepared to throw them back "but it's alright I'm used to it at this point"

"I'll give you that one" You replied catching them and quickly throwing them back again.

"Anyway annoying as you two can be, I've never seen him as happy as he is with you" Lister looked down at the floor "I nor anyone else is going to take that away from either of you ...no matter how annoying"

It was nice to have a deep and meaningful conversation with Lister, it was also nice to hear him talk so kindly about Arnold considering most times he wanted to punch him in the face. 

"And anyway how is he supposed to keep me sane without you around to keep him sane" Lister grinned throwing the socks back over.

"I guess that's one way of looking at it" You laughed a little.

"After everything he's been through, he deserves someone like you in his life" Lister stopped what he was doing "I don't know anyone else who would've sat with his light bee for a month and waited till he came back"

"Yeah ...yeah me neither" You felt an overwhelming sense of dread roll over you, tightness in your throat much like in your nightmare only this was real and you were awake.

"Y/N? You alright?" You could only just hear Lister as everything in the room blurred together as your breathing became quick and short "RIMMER?"

At first it seemed the mention of Rimmer's light bee was the trigger but as Listers face began to transform into your worst nightmare, it was clear the whole incident with Rimmer's bee had awoken something you had buried deep down a long long time ago back when you were still human.

"RIMMER!!" Lister shouted again as your hands turned to fists, your legs slowly taking steps towards him almost as if you had no control over your body.

"What's going on?" You could hear Rimmer behind you trying to catch his breath from pelting across the corridor.

"YOU ARSEHOLE!" You shouted towards Lister with a cry.

"Ok what did you do?" Rimmer glared at Lister as he threw his hands up.

"Nothing I swear, we were just talking" Lister was starting to panic as you edged closer.

"You mentioned my light bee didn't you?" Rimmer looked at Lister with seriousness.

"You had no right to treat me the way you did" You growled you fist tightening.

"Wait hang on?" Rimmer looked at you confused, coming to the conclusion that it wasn't Lister you were yelling at.

"Y/N?" Lister called out as your fist began to raise.

"SHUT UP!" You shouted, your fist now level with Listers face and itching to make contact.

"Y/N you're having a panic attack, you're hallucinating!" Rimmer tried to talk to you but ultimately failed.

"If you do this you'll regret it" Lister tried to stay calm in hopes you'd back down.

"Try me!" Your voice shaky as you went to swing, stopped by Rimmer snapping your arm down and wrapping his arms around you in an attempt to restrain you "Let me go!"

"Lister go get Kryten!" Rimmer commanded as Lister dashed out of the room while you were still thrashing around in Rimmer's arms.

"LET GO OF ME!" You cried, Rimmer's grip around you ultimately tightening as you tried harder to escape, the force of both of you fighting against each other knocking you to the floor, his arms still firmly around you as you finally gave in, your vision slowly returning to normal as you looked up at Rimmer before sobbing into his chest. 

"You're alright, it's over" Rimmer spoke softly in your ear as he rocked you gently in his arms while you continued to sob.

"Is everything ok? Mr Lister said..." Kryten stopped in the doorway with Lister not far behind as he saw the two of you in a heap on the floor as Rimmer tried to soothe you.

"Panic attack!" Rimmer mouthed to the droid as he nodded "How are you feeling?"

"Awful" Your voice almost non existent as you cried, your breathing suddenly speeding again as you sat up properly "Oh god"

"Deep breaths" Rimmer spoke calmly as he gently rubbed soothing circles on your back, despite sounding calm he was desperately trying to hold back his own panic from seeing you in so much distress "Kryten?"

"Yes sir" Kryten nodded as he walked over to the two of you, Rimmer softly moving your hair from your neck as Kryten injected you "Just a little something to help you calm down Miss Y/N"

"Hey what's wrong lady bud?" Cat appeared, genuinely concerned as he walked in on the events.

"Come on Cat, let's give Y/N some space yeah?" Lister suggested as he tried to walk him away.

"Is Y/N gonna be ok?" It shocked everyone that Cat was actually worried about someone besides himself "What happened?"

"She'll be fine Cat, go with Lister, he'll explain" Rimmer smiled despite his own anxiety bubbling away inside him.

"Suggest you get Miss Y/N to her quarters, let her rest for a bit?" Kryten spoke softly as to not alarm you as you remained nestled against Rimmer. 

"Thank you Kryten" Rimmer replied as he stood up, Kryten holding your shoulders so you didn't fall.

"Let's get you up ma'am" Kryten smiled sweetly as both he and Rimmer helped you up.

"Can you walk?" Rimmer looked at you, his eyes glassy as if he had been trying not to cry the entire time, holding your arms as you swayed a little before falling into him as he caught you "You know what I'll carry you instead"

"I'm sorry" You mumbled as you began to cry again, this time more out of confusion as your body fought against the sedative Kryten had given you.

"Darling you don't need to apologize " Rimmer smiled sweetly, suddenly feeling your feet leave the floor as he picked you up "Let's get you to bed" 

As Rimmer put you down gently on the bed, startled by the cold sheets beneath you, you gave up the fight against the sedative in your system slowly letting it take you, your body almost feeling like it belonged to someone else entirely. 

"Get some rest!" Rimmer spoke quietly as he leant down to place a kiss to your forehead, smiling as you were already out like a light and at peace. Gently throwing a blanket over you as you snuggled yourself up in it before he sat down to read, keeping a close eye on you "Holly?"

"Yes Arnold?" Hollys voice replied.

"Did you ever do any background checks on Y/N?" Rimmer kept his voice low as to not disturb you even though Lister playing his guitar wouldn't have woke you up in that moment.

Chapter Text

"Sorry Arn, everything I've found is filed as confidential, I can't access anything" Holly finally got back to Rimmer a couple hours later.

"Damn ...thank you anyway Hol!" Rimmer sighed as he looked over at you wrapped up fast asleep, making him smile. 

The early hours of the next morning rolled round, the sedation finally starting to wear off as your eyes slowly opened with a groan.

"Look who's finally woken up?" Rimmer kept his voice quiet as not to make you jump as he span round in the chair he had been sat in since he put you to bed.

"Arnie it's 4am what are you doing?" You asked, your memory not quite kicking in yet, swinging your legs over the side of the bed as you sat up "Did I drink last night?"

"No, you didn't actually see last night" Rimmer smiled as you stretched yourself out before standing up "How are you feeling?"

"Groggy, what did happen?" You shuffled over to the table Rimmer was sat at with the blanket from the bed wrapped round your shoulders.

"You don't remember?" Rimmer raised his eyebrow as you plonked yourself on the table next to the pile of papers and books Rimmer had laid out "You had a..."

"Ah a panic attack, I remember Kryten injecting me with something" You mumbled as you itched your face with the blanket still trying to wake yourself up.

"Yeah a sedative, I asked him too, you had just gone into a second one" Rimmer replied "Do you remember anything else?"

"Not really why?" You yawned.

"Well you nearly twatted Lister for one" Rimmer smirked, had you not been in a highly panicked hallucinative state he probably would've let you do it just for a bit of fun.

"Thank god I didn't, why did I almost do that?" You asked as Rimmer shrugged.

"I was hoping you'd know the answer to that" Rimmer smiled, sliding a small plastic cup across the table with his finger "Here!"

"What are these?" You marveled at the two tiny white pills that sat in the cup. 

"Kryten wants to start you on a treatment plan ...so you don't attempt to knock anymore of the crew out" Rimmer chuckled, trying to keep the mood light as you grumbled before throwing the pills back and chugging what was left of the drink Rimmer had beside him "So you really don't remember anything?"

"Nothing, I mean I remember throwing a balled up pair of your socks around your quarters with lister, we started talking and then the next thing I remember is Kryten injecting me with the sedative ...and then I woke up here" You wrapped the blanket around your shoulders tighter "Anyway what are you up to? Have you even slept?"

"No I've been keeping myself busy while watching over you" Rimmer smiled sweetly as you shook your head.

"Arnie? You need to sleep" You replied as he placed his hand on your thigh.

"One night without sleep won't hurt me" Rimmer spoke softly being careful with his words as you placed your hand on top of his "Anyway the worry would've kept me awake"

"You don't have to worry about me, I'm fine" You smiled as he raised his eyebrow at you with a grin "Ok minus almost knocking Lister out"

"It's just one night" Rimmer reminded you as you looked properly at the papers on the table.

"Astro Nav questions?" You flicked through the papers "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I told you I was just keeping busy" Rimmer tried to bat you off.

"Hey I'm not judging you" You threw your hands up "But you would tell me if you've been thinking too much though right?"

"What do you mean?" You were the only person Rimmer would ever have this kind of deep personal conversation with, you were the only person he'd ever trust "I'm fine?"

"Arnie?" You raised your eyebrow at him.

"Oh alright you got me" Rimmer sighed.

"You know you don't have to prove anything to anyone, I love you the way you are and the boys certainly aren't bothered about you being an officer, believe it or not they do accept you for who you are" You smiled as you held his hand in yours, a small smile crawling across his face. 

"You've just woken up from being sedated for over 10 hours and here you are worrying about me" Rimmer chuckled.

"Oh believe me I feel like I've just woken up from a month long coma but my top priority will always be you" You laughed as Rimmer shook his head "Arnie, if you're going to put yourself through this again then the only person you need to do it for is yourself, not your parents, not your brothers ...they don't matter ...do it because it makes you happy"

"I'm supposed to be taking care of you y'know?" Rimmer smiled, he knew everything you said was right. 

"And if it really is something you want to do, I'm more than happy to help you" 

"I don't know" 

"Arnie it's ok to accept help, you don't have to do this alone ...I'm certain your brothers didn't do it alone" 

"I'm pretty sure they did" 

"The point I'm trying to make is that if you take the exam and pass with a little extra help and support it won't make you any less of an officer" You smiled as you moved yourself from the table to his lap "I'll be proud of you regardless" 

"I suppose, I mean I don't even know if it's what I want" Rimmer sighed as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

"I know it's more of your parents dream but I think deep down you do want it, I think above all you want to prove it to yourself more than anyone else" You spoke softly, gently playing with the curls at the bottom of his neck "So would you like my help or not?"

"You know I'm not going to say no to you" Rimmer smiled, his arms sitting comfortably at the bottom of the back "Can I continue taking care of you now?"

"Yes but first..." You smiled, holding his face in your hands as you brought him closer to let your lips meet in the middle "I love you Arnie, don't ever forget that"

"Believe me I won't" Rimmer spoke softly, kissing you back "I love you too darling!" 

"I'm looking forward to calling you officer!" You grinned as Rimmer let out a chuckle.

"You're adamant that I'll pass this exam aren't you?" Rimmer raised his eyebrow "Don't get your hopes up"

"Darling I know you'll pass that exam!" You smiled, despite being computer generated you could've sworn you heard your nonexistent stomach growl  "I need to eat!"

"Need to or want to?" Rimmer smiled as you shot a playful glare at him "Alright come on" 

Upon entering the kitchen you couldn't help but feel out of place, like this wasn't your territory after all you very rarely stepped foot in there as Kryten would normally take care of the cooking and food preparation. 

"Where does that bog bot keep the cereal?" You mumbled to yourself as you went through the cupboards. 

"Over here" Rimmer smiled as he shook the box.

"Well thank god you're here" You smiled too as you jumped up to sit on the kitchen counter before taking the cereal box from Rimmer's hand.

"You're not are you?" Rimmer questioned as you emptied some of the cereal straight into your mouth from the box "Maybe you ought to be with Lister!"

"Are you calling me a bum?" You raised your eyebrow as Rimmer began opening cupboards and draws. 

"I was joking!" Rimmer replied as he held up a bowl and a spoon "These exist for a reason"

"Yeah yeah" You batted him off, about to empty more cereal in your mouth as he took the box "Hey! ...you better not put milk on my cereal?"

"Why not?" Rimmer stopped a clear foot from the fridge "Do you really not have milk on your cereal?"

"Why does that surprise you?" You smiled as he shrugged.

"Fine no milk then" He smiled sweetly as he walked back over, sliding the bowl over to you "Enjoy ...weirdo!"

"Rude!" You scrunched your nose up at him. 

As you happily sat on the counter with your bowl of dry cereal Rimmer decided to make himself a coffee, even though the caffeine would have no effect on him being a hologram but thanks to his hard light body he was still able to enjoy the taste and smell of it. While Rimmer had his back turned you lined up cereal pieces along the edge of the counter like soldiers getting ready for battle waiting till he least expected it to flick and pelt them at him. 

"Hey!" Rimmer turned to look at you as a piece of cereal hit the back of his neck "What are you doing?" 

"Trying to wind you up!" You smiled as you flicked another piece, hitting him square on the nose "Is it working?"

"Did being sedated turn you into a kid again?" Rimmer chuckled as you continued to flick cereal at him, one landing in his freshly made coffee "Ok now it's working!"

"Oops..." You hesitated before going to flick another one.

"I wouldn't if I were you!" Rimmer smirked as you raised your eyebrow.

"And what are you going to do about it?" You smiled as you flicked the last piece.

"Don't say I didn't warn you!" Rimmer's voice was low as he almost charged over, throwing the bowl in your lap to the side and pulling at your hips to bring you closer to him, your legs round his waist as he looked down at you.

"Maybe I should wind you up more often?" You laughed a little as he started to smirk again. 

"Now I could put you on report..." Rimmer spoke quietly.

"...or?" You raised your eyebrow.

"You could kiss me?" Rimmer grinned as you looked at him shocked.

"Well well, when did you become so confident?" You smiled, edging as close to him as you possibly could.

"Just kiss me!" Rimmer demanded with a smile. 

"Yes sir!" You teased as you let your lips collide with his.

"You'll pay for that missy" Rimmer smiled between kisses.

"Oh I'm sure I will" You laughed as the two of you continued your little make out session, you knew Kryten wouldn't be pleased about it being in the kitchen but you couldn't care less. Both of you completely oblivious to your surroundings neither of you noticed the footsteps in the room.

"You know you have a sleeping quarters for this right" It was Lister. 

"Lister what are you doing up?" You asked.

"He probably hasn't been to bed yet" Rimmer mumbled.

"Mini fridge is out of lagers" Lister sighed.

"How comes you're so calm? Normally when you catch us you throw a fit?" Rimmer asked.

"To be honest, at this point I don't really care" Lister shrugged as he stood on a piece of the cereal on the floor "Erm why is the floor covered in cereal?"

"I was flicking it at Rimmer!" You grinned.

"Nice!" Lister replied walking over to give you a high five.

"Hey?" Rimmer exclaimed a little miffed. 

"Why are you complaining? Had I not wound you up by pelting chocolate covered cereal balls at you, you wouldn't have initiated the make out session we were just having?" You grinned.

"Hang on why are you two up?" Lister asked.

"I woke up from the sedation ...he was watching me ...in a sweet loving kind of way" You clarified before Lister had chance to call Rimmer names. 

"Of course how are you feeling?" Lister asked, even thought you nearly knocked him out. 

"Better, sorry for nearly twatting ya" You apologized as Lister chuckled.

"Ah it's fine, you couldn't help it" Lister smiled "Anyway I'll be off" 

"G'night Listy" You shouted after him as he left.

"Now where were we?" Rimmer grinned.

"Maybe we should take this to my quarters" You smiled as Rimmer suddenly picked you up from the counter as you squeaked before carrying you back to your quarters.

Chapter Text

"Hey I thought you were going to help me revise for my Astro-Navs?" Rimmer suddenly appeared next you, your focus glued to the screen in front of you "What are you watching?"

"The cctv footage of my panic attack" You mumbled "I was hoping it would jog my memory but I've got nothing"

"I could get Kryten to do some digging, I did ask Holly but he said all your files were marked confidential so he couldn't access them" Rimmer sat down in the seat next to you "But Kryten might be able to hack into them?"

"I just want to know who it was that I was shouting at?" You sighed "What if it happens again? What if I do end up hurting someone?"

"I won't let it come to that" Rimmer smiled taking your hands in his. 

"I'm scared" You looked down at the floor.

"Hey I'm supposed to be the scared one in this relationship?" Rimmer gently ran his thumbs across the back of your hands "Take that away from me and what else have I got?"

You managed to stifle a little laugh as Rimmer tried to make you feel better but the thoughts and feelings in your head were almost too heavy. You felt so confused, lost, scared basically any negative emotion you could think of. Who treated you so badly for you to react the way you did? And why can't you remember anything?

"Well you are a wuss!" You started to crack a smile as you teased Rimmer.

"As you're not feeling too good I'll let that one slide" Rimmer chuckled "And you are helping me pass this exam"

"Hmm maybe asking you Astro-Nav questions will take my mind off it" You smirked.

"And watching me fail spectacularly" Rimmer grinned as you stood up. 

"I'm sure you won't fail" You replied as you slipped your fingers between Rimmer's as you started walking towards your quarters.

"Oh come on I've got the memory of a goldfish" 

"Oh so that's why you wrote 'I'm a fish' over and over on the exam that one time?" You smiled properly for the first time that day.

"So Lister told you about that did he?" Rimmer raised he eyebrow at you with a smile.

"Oh you don't wanna know what he's told me about you" You smirked as Rimmer looked at you in panic "Don't worry, nothing too bad!"

"Oh good" Rimmer exhaled.

"Oh he did tell me about the mushrooms and you turning up to a parade naked" You laughed as Rimmer let out a groan.

"God nothing's sacred with him" Rimmer rolled his eyes as you reached the door to your quarters.

"Hey I would've found out eventually" You smiled as you walked over to the desk Rimmer had occupied for his studying. Taking your normal seat on top of it next to his study materials. 

"So what are we doing today teacher?" Rimmer grinned as you sighed a little.

"I'm not a teacher ...and calculations" You smirked as Rimmer groaned.

"Why?" Rimmer pretended to cry, his head down on the desk in front of him.

"Because you have the memory of a goldfish remember?" 

"Well obviously I don't" Rimmer sat back up.

"Oh ha ha" You smiled, Rimmer had clearly censored all the negativity from earlier, completely distracting you by being an absolute goon ...but most importantly being himself.

You had been helping Rimmer revise for his Astro Navigation exam for weeks now and it was becoming clear that it wasn't Rimmer's ability to remember the material or carry out the calculations but his overwhelming exam anxiety that was stopping him from passing the exam.

"You know I think you might be ready?" You smiled after a round of quick fire questions as he looked at you in complete panic.

"It's only been a few weeks I don't know..." You stopped him with a finger to his lips.

"You know you answered every question I asked you just now correctly right?" 

"Yeah but I won't have you on the desk in front of me to ask me the questions in the exam?" Rimmer smiled as you laughed.

"I don't think you not remembering the material has ever been an issue, it's your anxiety going into that exam room with the pressure of your parents and brothers weighing on your shoulders" You took his hands in yours "You can do this"

"How? You know I'll walk in that room and freak out" Rimmer looked down at his hands in yours.

"Pretend I'm sat on the desk or read the questions in my voice, I don't know" You smiled "but you can do it" 

"Hmm I don't know whether that will be more distracting than helpful" Rimmer smirked "So how should we spend the rest of our day?"

"Arnie what if I hurt you?" Rimmer looked confused at your sudden change of conversation. 

"Erm that wasn't quite the answer I thought you were going to say" Rimmer joked much to the unamused and terrified look on your face.

"I'm serious! What if I have another attack and I hurt you?" 

"I'm hard light remember?" Rimmer voice became soft as his hands sat on your thighs, the weight of them against your skin brought you a little comfort. 

"All it takes is one hit in the right place and I could disable your light bee and you'll be gone" You started to splutter as your breathing became erratic.

"Deep breaths, it's ok" Rimmer drew gentle circles with his thumbs as you tried to control your breathing "I won't let anything like that happen"

"But what if it does happen?" You kept yours eyes tightly shut desperately trying to keep any tears from falling, your hands gripping the desk so hard your knuckles turned white as Rimmer ran his tongue across his lips as he tried to figure out what to do. 

"Take my hands" Rimmer smiled sweetly as he held his hands out for you. 

"What are you thinking of doing?" You raised your eyebrow, hesitant to take his hands.

"It's ok trust me!" Rimmer replied as he helped you up from the desk, looking into your tear filled eyes as they finally escaped "Oh darling!"

"I'm so scared" You cried as he cupped your face in his hands, catching the tears with his thumbs.

"I know you are but we're gonna figure this all out" Rimmer's voice was soft and quiet "Together!"

"Sorry" You sniffed as Rimmer wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug and rocking you gently in his arms.

"No need to apologize" Rimmer spoke quietly in your ear before placing a kiss to the top of your head "Come on" 

Upon releasing you from his embrace, Rimmer walked over to the end of the bed, sitting down and making sure there was enough room for you as he patted the space in front of him.

"Sit in front of me" Rimmer smiled sweetly as you followed his orders.

"What are you up to?" You mumbled as his softly placed his hands on your shoulders.

"I want you to close your eyes and focus on your breathing ...can you do that?" Rimmer continued to speak soft and sweet in your ear.

"Seriously what are you... oh!" Your sentence stopped as soon as Rimmer applied pressure to your shoulders, moving his thumbs in circles as he worked on the tension in your muscles. 

"Pressure ok?" Rimmer's voice remained soft and soothing as he continued to massage your shoulders.

"Mhmm" Was about all you could muster, far too distracted by Rimmer's hands working away the knots and the anxiety. 

"Just relax and let me take care of you" Rimmer spoke softly in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. 

After 20 minutes or so of massaging your shoulders his hands slowly came to a stop.

"How are you feeling?" He mumbled while he gently placed kisses along your shoulder and up your neck.

"Better!" You smiled as he buried his nose into the crook of your neck, taking in your scent as he held you delicately in his arms.

"Good" He smiled "I'm glad' 

"I don't know what I'd do without you" You let out a soft laugh as you placed your arms on top of his "It does feel a little weird"

"What does?" Rimmer asked.

"Well I'm supposed to be the confident ball busting one and look at me?" You sighed.

"Hey we all have our dark sides, it's ok not to be confident and happy all the time" Rimmer was back at it with his pearls of wisdom ...even if he did ignore them himself.

"I know" 

"I promise you I'll keep you safe" Rimmer smiled "I'll be here to help you through thick and thin, rain or shine"

"You're too sweet" You looked up at him as he smiled down at you.

"Anything to see you smile darling" He spoke softly as he gently kissed your cheek "I love you" 

"I love you too Arnie, always"  

If Rimmer couldn't completely fix the problem he would never stop trying to make you feel better, the suggestion of snuggling up together and watching tv brought a small smile to your face as he offered to go and get the snacks. 

"You know you can Bob to deliver them?" You smiled, sitting cross legged on the bed. 

"I know, I want to go get them" Rimmer replied, palm either side of you on the bed as he leant into kiss you "Why don't you change and get comfy and I'll be right back!" 

"You're not an officer yet buddy!" You smirked as Rimmer chuckled, he was happy to see you perking up but he knew you were nowhere near 100%.

"Not long though" Rimmer winked before leaving your quarters, the sound of someone else's footsteps shortly appearing outside your door.

"Hey Lady Bud how's it going?" It was Cat, standing in your doorway dressed to the nines as always with his Cheshire Cat grin.

"Hey Cat, I've been better" You sighed, smiling half-heartedly as Cat walked over to sit next to you on the bed. 

"Still haven't figure things out huh?" Cat replied as you shook your head "You know you're not alone right?" 

"I've just had all this from Arnold" You couldn't help but laugh a little. 

"I don't say this very often but he's right" Cat almost grimaced at the idea of saying Rimmer was right about something "You're a part of this crew, part of the boys from the dwarf!"

"I guess" You smiled, amused by Cat calling a boy from the dwarf when you were quietly clearly a girl. 

"You know what I mean, it's a figure of speech, you are one of us" You couldn't quite believe the words coming from Cats mouth "and as monkey always says one in all in" 

"I'm starting to think you might be a polymorph or something" You teased. 

"I know I'm not the brightest bulb but there is a couple of brain cells knocking around up there" Cat smiled as you laughed.

"Thanks Cat" 

"We need you ok, you keep alphabet head grounded and out of our hair" Cat pretended to straighten out his hair "and I do have great hair"

"There he is!" You smiled as you both laughed. 

"I should shoot before Rimmer comes back" Cat replied "Just remember we're all here for you, me, Kryten, dreadlock Dave and wheel arch nostrils"

"Oi less of that please" Rimmer scolded Cat as he stood in the door way. 

"And on that note I'll be off" Cat smiled as he walked over to the doorway. 

"Thanks Cat!" You smiled too "I really appreciate you checking in on me"

"Hey don't worry about it and if you ever wanna see any of my shiny things you know where to find me! Owwwww" Cat squealed and shuffled off down the corridor as you laughed while Rimmer grumbled. 

"Leave him, he's just trying to help" You smiled at Rimmer as he walked over to where you were sitting. 

"What did that stupid moggy want anyway?" Rimmer asked as he placed a box down on the bed. 

"He was just checking to see if I was alright, don't let that green bug out" You replied as you looked over the contents of the box "How much did you bring up?"

"I got Kryten to put it together" Rimmer smiled as he sat down beside you "He's also going to look into your files and see if he can hack into them" 

"What would I do without you guys?" You grinned as Rimmer switched the screen on. 

"Let's get comfy and watching tv then" Rimmer spoke softly as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders bringing you into his side. Just as you were about to rest your head on his chest, his free hand gently caressed your cheek bringing you into a sweet but passionate kiss.

"I think you should take the exam tomorrrow" You spoke softly, getting lost his eyes as he smiled.

"Alright you're on" He spoke quietly back as he leant into kiss you again, both of you completely ignoring the film that was were supposed to be watching and opting for each other's love instead.

Chapter Text

It was finally exam time and Rimmer was bouncing on his feet faster than Tigger on drugs.

"Oh I can't do this" Rimmer grumbled as he paced up and down nervously.

"Why did you agree to it then?" You smiled as he came to a stop.

"You were kissing me!" Rimmer rambled "Do honestly expect me to process anything being said to me when we're kissing?"

"Yeah I guess not" You giggled as Rimmer continued pacing again. 

"Why did you suggest this?" Rimmer mumbled "I'm gonna fail, I know I am" 

"Arnie, stop pacing!" You kept your voice calm as he came to a stop in front of you "Once you get over this hurdle of anxiety you'll smash it"

"How?" Rimmer looked terrified, he'd done the exam so many times and failed, he had next to no hope left in himself.

"You'll be fine, take a few deep breaths and just focus on answering the questions, don't worry about anyone else. The boys don't know you're taking it again and I won't love you any less, ok?" You managed to gently move his arms from across his chest as he took a deep exhale "Darling you can do this!" 

"Arnold it's time for your exam" Holly reminded him as the door to the exam room opened.

"Oh god, wish me luck" Rimmer looked at the room.

"Arnie you don't need luck, you'll be fine" You stood on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek "Go get 'em!"

Rimmer gave you a worried smile before walking into the exam room, you waited until the doors were fully closed before leaving. Making your way down to the hanger to meet Kryten and Lister in Blue Midget. 

"Ayeee there she is!" Lister exclaimed.

"Sorry boys had to take care of something" You smiled as you joined them at the dashboard.

"No problem ma'am" Kryten smiled.

"Shall we get this baby going then?" Lister grinned as he and Kryten started the start up procedure. 

"How long will this take?" You asked curiously, wanting to make sure you were back before Rimmer finished the exam. 

"About an hour or so" Lister replied "No boyfriend?"

"He's busy" You replied bluntly. 

"Busy? Doing what?" You could tell he was still grinning.

"Just busy ok" You were far more concerned about how well Rimmer was doing, hoping he hadn't just walked in the exam room and fainted or was just writing 'I'm a fish' over and over. 

"Alright sorry I said anythin'" Lister turned to look at Kryten. 

"Look can we just focus on getting to this planetoid?" 

"Erm yes ma'am" You could tell Krytens panic mode was kicking in. 

Luckily you and the boys really weren't too far from the planetoid so as long as you could get the other two to move quickly you could be back in time to meet Rimmer. 

"Mr Lister, sir, this planetoid doesn't have a breathable atmosphere" Kryten turned to Lister.

"Well I guess I'm staying here then?" Lister replied sarcastically.

"Come on Krytes, let's get this over with" You sighed, with you and Kryten not needing oxygen you decided to go and explore.

Hopping off Blue Midget you were greeted with a barren wasteland. Some kind of sand covered the surface for miles. 

"Well this is a bust?" You grumbled. 

"See anything?" Listers voice bellowed through the speaker in your watch. 

"Nope!" You replied, putting extra emphasis on the n and the p.

"Suggest we walk around ma'am" Kryten suggested as you started walking.

"There's nothing here Krytes?" You really weren't in the mood.

The two of you had walked for what felt like almost 5 miles and still there was nothing. 

"Krytes can we call it?" You groaned.

"Wait!" Kryten stopped, looking at the scanner. 

"Kryten there is nothing here!" You almost shouted, your temper threatening to bubble over. 

"But ma'am, the scanner?" Kryten replied.

"The scanners are over 3 million years old" You sighed.

"It says there's a life sign?" You took the scanner from Kryten's rubber hand.

"That life sign..." You grumbled as you gave the scanner a good whack "Is Lister in Blue Midget!"

"Ah" Kryten replied sheepishly.

"Remind me later and I'll see what I can do to update them, can we go now?" 

"Erm of course and yes ma'am" Kryten looked at you a little embarrassed. 

As you trudged back to Blue Midget, it was getting more and more likely that you were not going to make it back in time. 

"So it was completely empty then?" Lister asked.

"Can't this thing go any faster?" You groaned impatiently.

"We're going as fast as we can man" Lister replied, a little taken back by your attitude. 

"This is Blue Midgets top speed ma'am" Kryten chimed in as you took yourself off to the storage room.

As soon as Blue Midget hit the floor of the landing bay you were out the door in a heartbeat, pelting along the corridors and cursing the lifts for not going fast enough.

"My god I really am turning into Arnold" You chuckled to yourself as the lift reached your floor before pelting down one last corridor. 

"There you are!" Rimmer gave you a tense smile while you were doubled over trying to catch your breath, some of your pixels flickering from running so fast. 

"Sorry I'm late" You tried to take a deep breath "Lister and Krytes wanted me to go check out a planetoid with them" 

"It's alright, it was only a couple of minutes" Rimmer replied.

"How did it go?" You asked as he shrugged.

"Can we talk about something else while we wait for the results?" Rimmer asked as you took a seat on the floor with your back against the wall. 

"I really need to exercise more" You laughed through deep breaths as Rimmer sat down beside you.

"Or you could just walk along the corridors like a normal person?" Rimmer smiled, placing his hand on your thigh. 

"You should know by now that I'm not normal" You tilted your head back against the wall as you looked at him.

"It's what I like most about you" Rimmer chuckled "That and..."

"Yes alright" You laughed as you stopped him "How long does this usually take?"

"A few minutes ...the longest few minutes of your existence" Rimmer continued to make jokes to distract himself from the overwhelming anxiety that was threatening to surface. 

"Wake me up when they're ready" You smiled as you let your head rest on his shoulder. 

"Oi don't fall asleep on me" Rimmer teased as he gently nudged you in the side before resting his head against yours. 

"I'll try not too" You giggled as you put your arm underneath his as your fingers entwined. 

"Did you have fun with the others today?" Rimmer tried to keep the conversation going.

"Not really" You sighed.

"Really why?" Rimmer looked at you a little sad.

"Well the planetoid was empty for one, just miles and miles of sand" You replied "and I was too worried about you in that exam"

"Hey you don't need to worry about me?" Rimmer smiled as you raised your eyebrow at him "You know what I mean"

"I just want you to be happy that's all" You gently caressed the back of his hand with your thumb.

"I am happy, I've got you haven't I?" Rimmer spoke softly as the machine in the wall in front you started making noises before chucking out an envelope "Here we go!"

Rimmer stood up first, offering you his hands to help you up and gesturing for you to take the envelope.

"Sure you want me to open it?" You asked, the envelope shaking a little in your hand. 

"Positive" Rimmer took a deep breath out "Oh god"

"Remember..." You smiled opening it "No matter what this says I still love you" 

"Just tell me" Rimmer was starting to get impatient, clear in his mind that he had failed "I've failed haven't I? Why do I keep doing this to myself? I know I'm never going to pass the damn thing so what's the point? ...what?"

A small smile started to spread across your face as Rimmer looked at you confused.

"So... when should I start calling you officer?" You grinned as his mouth dropped open.

"Are you..." Rimmer was completely speechless "You're messing with me right?"

"Darling you did it, you passed the exam!" You tried to get a reaction out of him.

"Can I see it?" He asked for the paper, taking it from your hand and pausing to look at it "I ...I actually passed?"

"I told you you'd smash it!" You smiled sweetly as a grin slowly took over Rimmer's face as he lifted you off your feet and span you round "Congratulations officer!"

"I can't believe I actually passed it" Rimmer grinned as he put you down, his eyes meeting yours "and I couldn't have done it without you"

"Hey this is your accomplishment" You spoke softly "Want to go tell the others?"

"They'll just find a way to ruin it" Rimmer sighed.

"Not if they want an ass kicking from me!" You laughed as Rimmer smiled "Come on let's go!"

You tugged his hand but he didn't move as he pulled you back towards him.

"Wait" Rimmer held your hands in his as he leant into kiss you, resting his forehead against yours "Thank you!"

"You don't need to thank me" You replied.

"But I want too, I couldn't have passed that exam without your help and support" Rimmer spoke softly, his hands moving to your waist as he pulled you in for one last kiss.

"You're welcome, officer!" You smiled, it was going to take some time for both of you to get used to Rimmer's new rank. 

"Let's go tell the others" Rimmer replied, taking your hand in his as you started walking. 

Thankfully the others were all in Rimmer and Listers sleeping quarters when you walked in.

"Oh you alright Y/N, Rimmer?" Lister mumbled not taking his eyes away from the tv screen.

"That's Officer Rimmer to you Listy!" Rimmer smirked as you gave his hand a squeeze. 

"Oh get out of town Rimmer" Lister shot him down. 

"He's bluffin'" Cat grumbled. 

"You didn't take the exam again did you sir?" Kryten looked worried.

"I knew this would happen, they don't believe me?" Rimmer looked at you for help. 

"Right smegheads, at the table!" You commanded as the other three dropped what they were doing and immediately scurried to the table, earning a slight chuckle from Rimmer beside you. 

"How are you going to get us to believe he passed the exam?" Cat furrowed his brows as you gave Rimmer a nod as he stepped forward to place the exam results on the table "No way!"

"He did it? He smegging did it!" Lister exclaimed.

"Oh congratulations sir ...or should I say officer!" Kryten smiled.

"Thank you Kryten" Rimmer replied.

"How on Io did you pass that exam?" Lister still couldn't believe it. 

"Did you use a mind patch again?" Cat stuck up his nose. 

"Ahem!" You loudly cleared your throat to suggest they shut up before you gave them a whooping. 

"I passed because I had a little help" Rimmer smiled sweetly at you, his arm appearing round your waist as he pulled you into his side to kiss the top of your head. 

"Oh for crying out loud" Lister moaned "How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Ah Listy, Y/N already ranked over you and now I'm an officer we can do whatever we want and there's nothing any of you three can do about it" Rimmer had a smug grin on his face. 

"Yeah I know" Lister sighed "but honestly man congratulations"

"Thanks Listy" Rimmer gave him a nod.

"Yeah congrats" Cat was hesitant to say it but he knew you'd never let him forget it if he didn't. 

"Hey why don't we have a party?" Lister grinned.

"What?" Rimmer looked a little confused, he couldn't possibly be being nice.

"To celebrate you passing the exam and becoming an officer, we know how much you've wanted it and you deserve a proper celebration" Lister smiled, you were starting to wonder whether you were actually dreaming, Lister being nice to Rimmer was a very rare occurrence. 

"I don't know" Rimmer mumbled.

"Hey you got a break, make the most of it!" You smiled.

"Alright then" Rimmer looked over at Lister.

"Brutal, Krytes you're on food and drink, Cat you're with me let's go! Party starts at 8" Lister threw out orders before him Cat and Kryten all left the room. 

"Well that was a bit rocky to begin with but hey now they're throwing you a party" You smiled as Rimmer walked you over to his bunk.

"Ah it's just an excuse for them to get drunk, they don't really care" Rimmer sighed as he sat down beside you.

"They do care, in their own little ways" You turned to face him "And anyway doesn't mean we can't celebrate?"

"I suppose you're right" Rimmer smiled.

"So what's your first order as an officer?" 

"Oh I think you know" Rimmer started to smirk.

"Good lord, you just cannot keep it in your pants can you?" You laughed as Rimmer chuckled.

"Well..." He shrugged with a grin.

"Well I don't technically have to follow your order" You spoke softly as you cupped his face with your hand and brought him into a kiss "But this time I'll oblige"

"My god you're perfect" Rimmer's voice was low as he spoke.

"Come on, let's go to my quarters!" You smiled as you stood up, shortly followed by Rimmer before heading off to your quarters for some alone time.

Chapter Text

A/N: I think I got a bit brave with this chapter ...erm :')

With Lister, Kryten and Cat running round to get things ready for an impromptu celebration party, it allowed you and Rimmer to spend some time alone with no interruptions ...well apart from the odd scutter running into the door by accident. 

"I still can't believe I passed that exam" Rimmer mumbled between kisses as he laid gently over you. 

"Well you better believe it officer!" You smiled as your fingertips gently caressed the hair at the back of his neck. 

"I honestly don't know what I'd do without you" Rimmer's eyes met yours as he leant into kiss you again.

"Hey all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy" You replied as you wrapped your arms round his shoulders. 

"And I will be as long I'm with you" Rimmer spoke softly as he fell to your side "Becoming an officer is bonus and I'm grateful ...but all I've ever really needed is you" 

"Ok who are you? And what have you done with my Arnold?" You teased as he chuckled.

"I am your Arnold!" Rimmer smiled as he draped his arm across your waist, his eyes taking in every detail of you as you laid beside him. 

"Oh darling I know" You turned to face him, your noses almost touching "We should probably think about getting ready?"

"But this is a much better way to celebrate!" Rimmer's voice was soft and sweet as he placed his finger under your chin, leaning in to kiss you "Don't you think?"

"You know I'd love to stay here" You smiled, your hand on his chest "But we need to get ready" 

You grabbed your dressing gown as you got up, aware of Rimmer's eyes on you as you put it on.

"Enjoying the show?" You smirked as you turned to face him, tying the string around your middle.

"Maybe..." Rimmer smiled sweetly "I can't help it"

"Do I have to pull you out of that bed?" You raised your eyebrow as he chuckled. 

"Alright I'm getting up" Rimmer replied as he clicked his fingers, immediately changing into his uniform "I'm ready"

"You're not really going in your uniform are you?" You smiled. 

"What are you wearing?" Rimmer's asked.

"Ah you'll see but first" You smirked "Hol, can you give Rimmer his smart clothes please?"

Within seconds of asking, Rimmer was standing in front of you in his suit, the same suit he wore on your first proper date. 

"Do I have to wear this?" Rimmer grumbled. 

"Hold on ...take off the jacket" You spoke softly as he did as you asked.

"What are you doing?"

"You'll see" You smiled as you began rolling the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows "There you go, I made it a bit more smart casual" 

Rimmer looked himself up and down, not totally sure what you had done he walked over to the bed to sit down, with his back to you as he sorted out his shoes. Just as you clicked your fingers to change yourself he tried to turn round and sneak a peek.

"Don't look yet!" You smiled as he grumbled.

"Ooh why not?" He pretended to sulk. 

"I'm not ready yet!" You replied, sorting out your hair. 

"But all you had to do was click your fingers?" Rimmer was getting impatient.

"It's not just the outfit you know?" You laughed as he tutted with a shake of his head. 

"Can I look yet?" Rimmer asked once more. 

"Hold on" You replied as you applied a coat of red to your lips with a pop "Ok now you can look!"

"Finally" Rimmer teased as he turned round, breath catching in his throat as he saw you "You never fail to take my breath away"

"Well you're a hologram, you don't..." You came to a stop as Rimmer tugged at your hips.

"You know what I mean" Rimmer spoke quietly, you could tell he was already trying to undress you with his eyes "You look beautiful"

"And you look handsome" You smiled "I know what your eyes are doing!"

"Damn" He chuckled "Was it that obvious?"

"Well as it is you, I'll let you off" You spoke softly.

"Are you sure we can't stay here?" Rimmer smirked as you shook your head with a laugh.

"You need to get your hormones sorted!" You replied resting your hands on his chest.

"Are you saying you wouldn't want to go again?" Rimmer bit his lip as he smiled. 

"Something tells me I'm gonna have a lot of fun at this party" You spoke quietly as Rimmer tried to understand what you were hinting at.

"I'm not sure I understand" Rimmer replied as you slowly lowered your hands, stopping at the waist of his trousers "You little tease!"

"Well let's just say you're not ruining my lipstick just yet" You gave him a wink before walking to the door.

"That's not fair?" Rimmer called after you.

"Life's not fair darling!" You smiled as you walked ahead of him down the corridor "And stop looking at my bum!"

Rimmer laughed as he followed on after you along the corridor, he knew he shouldn't stare but he honestly couldn't help it, for as long as he existed he'd never stop watching as you left a room and admiring every single part of you ...no matter how flustered and frustrated in a certain way you might make him. With you, for the first time in his entire existence, he was living.

"Ta-dah" Lister stood with his arms open wide as he presented the officers club that he and Cat had spent the afternoon decking out. 

"Hey nice job lads!" You complimented them as they grinned while Rimmer stood beside you dumbstruck trying to take it all in ...that this was for him ...that everyone was being nice to him ...even if it was extremely challenging for some crew members.

"Only the best for our new officer" Lister grinned. 

"Hey Lady bud scrubs up good" Cat smiled, sliding over to you as you heard a low grumble from Rimmer. 

"Tongues in mouths please, tonight is about Arnie not me" You looked at both Cat and Lister.

"Can we start drinking now?" Cat grumbled, clearly for him it was an excuse for a piss up. 

"Hol! Start the music" Lister commanded as music flowed through the room. 

"I see Holly dressed up for the occasion too" Rimmer pointed out the floating head on the screen with a bow tie.

"What? And miss out on a good time?" Holly questioned as he started dancing.

"Yes Hol!" Lister cheered him on as he grabbed a can of lager from the table.

"Where's Krytes?" You noticed the rubber head shaped hole in the room. 

"He'll be here soon" Lister chugged his drink "Come on let's have fun!"

An hour or so into the party and Rimmer had already resided to a chair as he watched the rest of the crew gradually get more drunk and more dumb ...which for some was impressive. 

"Hey what are you doing over here?" You smiled placing your hands on his shoulders. 

"I'm just not really a party person" Rimmer smiled back.

"Come on, dance with me?" You asked but you knew the answer "The boys are ...as Lister would say ...nicely drunk ...they won't make fun of you"

"I'd rather they were absolutely twatted"  Rimmer chuckled as you sat on his lap, wrapping your arms gently round his shoulders "How much have you had to drink?"

"Believe it or not, nothing!" You laughed as Rimmer's arms rest comfortably at the bottom of your back "You've danced with me before?"

"I know but that was just the two of us" Rimmer smiled as you leant in to kiss him "Hello!"

"Hey!" You lingered close as you both looked at each other.

"I thought I wasn't allowed to ruin your lipstick?" Rimmer kept his voice low enough just for you to hear it.

"Ah that got your interest?" You spoke quietly as Rimmer smiled, looking down at what little space there was left between you.

 "You know if you carry on we'll have to leave?" 

"Well we wouldn't want that now would we?" You replied as you both giggled through kisses.

"Oi Oi, what's this funny business?" Lister stumbled over bringing the two of you to a halt.

"We'll continue this later" You whispered in Rimmer's ear, making sure to cover your mouth with your hand so Lister couldn't attempt to lip read.

"Whatever it is, you can say it in front of me?" Lister slurred as Rimmer's cheeks and ears turned pink.

"Where is that bog bot?" Rimmer asked as Kryten came in, trolley rolling in front of him as if he was serving Lister his dinner "What are you doing?"

"I would've been here sooner but I was getting this cleaned up for you sir" Kryten rambled as he handed Rimmer a cloth wrapped gift. 

"Cleaned up?" Rimmer looked at the cloth bundle in his hand.

"Well open it then?" You smiled sweetly as you stood up from his lap to give him space. 

It was then that Rimmer had noticed the music had stopped and that everyone had gathered round him. Slightly overwhelmed he opened the cloth to reveal his new insignia. 

"To Rimmer!" Lister raised his glass as everyone grabbed their drinks and followed.

"To Rimmer!" Everyone echoed as Rimmer's cheeks turned red, he wasn't used to the attention. 

"We might not get on most of the time but we wouldn't change ya" Lister smiled at Rimmer "Congratulations man!"

"Thanks Listy" Rimmer replied.

"Hey bud, we don't get on and we probably never will but you've already proved me wrong once" Cat grinned, insincere as always "Congrats bud!"

"Thank you ...I think" Rimmer chuckled as everyone laughed, sincere emotional moments like this very rarely happened on the dwarf and nobody really knew how to deal with them. 

"Arnie, I'm gonna keep this short and sweet and save the soppy one for later, so Cat and Lister don't hit me" You smiled as you sat back down on Rimmer's lap but before you could continue speaking Lister spoke up.

"Let's get the party rolling again shall we?" Lister cheered as him and Cat went back to drinking themselves goofy.

"Nevermind then" You sighed as Rimmer looked at you a little sad. 

"Here Kryten can you look after this for me?" Rimmer handed his new insignia back over to Kryten. 

"Of course sir" Kryten replied before scurrying off to put it in a safe place. 

"Where were we?" Rimmer smiled at you sweetly as he wrapped his arms around you. 

"Congratulations darling!" You spoke softly as you leant in to kiss him "I'm so proud of you!"

"Thank you but you know I couldn't have done it without you" Rimmer tilted his head slightly to look at you as you caressed his cheek. 

"Oh come on, this is the one time everything is about you and you won't accept it?" You smiled as Rimmer shrugged.

"I'm a changed man?" He chuckled as you laughed.

"No you're not, the arrogant self centered person was an act, you've always been sweet and considerate really" You delicately brushed back his curls.

"Only for you darling!" Rimmer smiled sweetly "I never thought in all my years as a human and 3 million into deep space as a hologram that I would have a beautiful girlfriend or be an officer and here I am with both thanks to you" 

"They say the best things are worth waiting for and I think you've waited long enough" You replied as he took your hand in his "You deserve it all Arnie, you deserve to be happy"

"As long as I have you I will be" He brought your hand to his lips to place a gentle kiss "I love you darling" 

"I love you too" You spoke softly as you leant into his ear "Shall we go?"

Rimmer's reaction was enough of an answer as he lifted you from his lap before standing up himself, his hands on your waist as he leant down to kiss you. 

"Let's go!" He smiled as you took his hand in yours and walked him out of the room, looking round to make sure nobody saw you. 

Giggling and messing around like lovesick teenagers as you made your way down the corridor towards the lift. 

"Well get in then!" You smiled as Rimmer raised his eyebrow.

"Ladies first!" He gestured to the lift sarcastically as you gave him a tut and a shake of your head "What?"

"Come on" You smirked as you held his tie in your hand before using it to pull him in the lift with you.

As soon as the doors to the lift shut his hands were on you, tugging at your hips to bring you as close to him as possible, placing your hands on his chest as you kissed. The kisses were soft but passionate as he held you against him, the closer the two of you got to the floor of your quarters the heavier the atmosphere got. 

"You could at least try and wait till we get to my quarters?" You teased.

"You know I'm hopeless around you!" Rimmer laughed softly as you reached the door, his hands still glued to your waist as he gently pushed you in, kisses growing more passionate as you reached the bed, feeling the mattress tap the back of your legs as you fell down "I think I might've got too carried away"

"What do you mean?" You looked up at him as he looked down at you, his eyes focused on your mouth as he ran his thumb across your bottom lip. 

"Your lip is bleeding a little" Rimmer looked at you worried.

"Hey it's ok, it's worth it" You smiled as Rimmer laughed before leaning back down and continuing from where you left off.

Chapter Text

A/N: All fluff over here!

The next morning rolled round and it was safe to say some crew members were feeling a little worse for wear ...including Rimmer who hadn't had enough alcohol to be the slightest bit drunk. You slipped out from under his arm that was delicately wrapped round you without stirring him, smiling as he continued to sleep peacefully. With a click to get changed into something comfy, you trudged down the corridor to find Kryten in the kitchen.

"Good morning Miss Y/N!" Kryten smiled.

"Morning Krytes" You replied as you stretched yourself out a little.

"Can I get you anything ma'am?" Kryten asked catching the look you were giving him "Cereal with no milk and a juice coming right up ma'am!"

"Thanks Kryten" You smiled as you sat down on a stool at the worktop. 

"I still cannot believe Mr Rimmer passed that exam and became an officer" Kryten pondered as you dug into your cereal. 

"Well he did and I couldn't be more proud of him!" You smiled as two arms hidden in blue sleeves snuck round your waist, the body of the person they belonged to pressing against your back as they buried their face into your shoulder "Good morning"

"Good Morning Mr Rimmer, Sir ...I mean officer Rimmer" Kryten corrected himself as you heard a muffled 'morning' from Rimmer against your shoulder. 

At this point Rimmer couldn't care less about Kryten seeing him be so soft and clingy, he was a legitimate officer now and nobody could refuse his orders anymore or tell him what to do.

"Are you ok?" You spoke quietly to Rimmer who replied with a muffled noise. 

"Maybe a coffee will help with your hangover sir?" Kryten suggested as he walked over to the coffee machine. 

"He didn't drink last night Kryten" You replied, trying to hide the smirk that was trying to crawl across your face. 

"Then what's wrong sir?" Kryten asked worried as you cleared your throat. 

"I guess you could say it's a different kind of hangover Krytes" You laughed softly as you felt Rimmer giggle behind you. 

"I'm not sure I understand ma'am" You raised your eyebrow at the mechanoid as it slowly hit him "Oh ma'am please"

"You asked not me?" You smiled as Rimmer tightened his grip around you slightly, his face still firmly planted on your shoulder, the lights still too bright to bare. 

"Here's your coffee sir?" Kryten grumbled as he placed the mug down beside your breakfast "May I ask, what are you wearing sir?"

"There his..." Rimmer cut you off with a loud groan as he finally looked up from your shoulder.

"What is this 20 questions?" Rimmer grimaced from the light, the smell of the coffee hitting his nostrils calming him a little. 

"Sorry Sir I was just curious?" Kryten replied defensively. 

"They're his comfy clothes Krytes" You smiled.

"Ah of course, I ...erm ...I better prepare for Mr Lister and Mr Cat's hangovers when they wake up" Kryten nodded in your direction before scuttling off down the corridor. 

"What's his problem?" Rimmer grumbled as he moved one arm from around your waist to grab his coffee "He does make a good coffee though!"

"How are you feeling this morning?" You asked with a giggle.

"Do I really need to answer that?" He peered at you over the top of his cup with a grin "How is your lip?"

"It's fine" You smiled as he placed his coffee back down on the worktop, placing a finger under your chin and using his thumb to move your lip so he could inspect it.

"I really am sorry" He smiled sweetly as he leant into place a soft delicate kiss to your lips, a little scared he'd hurt you. 

"Hey don't worry about it" You replied "You didn't mean to do it"

"I know it's just I'm still not used to being hard light and I forget my own strength" Rimmer looked down at the floor.

"You're not the only one remember" You spoke softly as you lifted his head back up with your finger "And anyway I thought it was quite impressive"

"Impressive?" He smiled as he took another sip of his coffee.

"All I'm saying is that you must've really been enjoying last night for you to draw blood from another hard light hologram" You winked at him as he chuckled.

"Well I guess you could say that" He laughed "Shall we go find Cat and Lister and wind them up, considering how hungover they're bound to be?" 

"Don't be mean" You gave him a playful glare "Don't you want to change first?"

"I was planning on staying in my comfies today" Rimmer smiled, all too happy to use a phrase he had picked up from you as he stood closer to you leaning in to your ear "That was an order by the way!"

"Hey who has the highest rank?" You smirked as he chuckled "Come on let's go" 

You found Cat and Lister in the boys sleeping quarters, Lister was sprawled out in the top bunk like normal while Cat was curled up in Rimmer's bunk. 

"Oi moggy out of that bunk!" Rimmer ordered as Cat groaned.

"Oh smeg off Rimmer" Lister grumbled as he turned his back to the two of you. 

"Don't make me put my Hammond organ music on Listy!" Rimmer taunted him as Lister continued to ignore him.

"Y/N do something will ya?" Lister asked you for help.

"Hey don't look at me!" You laughed.

"Good Morning Sirs!" Kryten sang as he walked in, flicking the lights on as both the hangover victims groaned loudly. 

"I thought I told you to smeg off Rimmer!" Lister groaned.

"Hey that wasn't me? That was bogbot over there!" Rimmer pointed at Kryten. 

"Breakfast sirs!" Kryten smiled as he removed the covers from the plates, allowing the food to waft through the room.

"Come on let's leave them to their moping" You smiled as you took Rimmer's hand as you walked him out of the room "So what's the plan for today officer?"

"Well the rest of the crew are in bed regretting their life choices so I'm all for lazing about, what about you?" Rimmer looked at you as you pretended to mull it over. 

"Hmmmmm ...yeah sounds good to me!" You spoke softly, about to head back to your quarters when another voice echoed down the corridor.

"Officer Rimmer sir, can I borrow you for a moment?" It was Kryten.

"You go on ahead, I won't be long" Rimmer leant into kiss you before you continued on to your quarters.

After half an hour of waiting for him in your quarters you decided to do something to entertain yourself until he came back. Upon realizing there wasn't much to do you remembered the broken vending machine at the end of the corridor thanks to Lister losing his temper when it had ran out of beer milkshakes. Why anyone let him create such a thing in the first place was mystery! Switch blade and multi tool in each boot, you took yourself and your trusty headphones and CD player down to the vending machine.

"Never catch me ordering a beer milkshake that's for sure" You mumbled as you placed the headphones over your ears and pressed play as you got to work. 

 After unjamming the buttons Lister had got stuck you decided you might as well carry out a full check over the machine. Completely lost in your own little world as you worked away on the back of the machine that you had pulled out, totally unaware of anyone else possibly appearing and completely oblivious to the fact you were singing along to your music. 

"I light up, I light up when I see you" You sang along to yourself, not noticing the footsteps coming up behind you. 

Luckily it was Rimmer who had caught you singing as he stopped to listen before letting you know he was there, a smile lighting up his face.

"Like stereo lights in the dark, we rise like sparks like stereo lights" You continued singing until the pressure of Rimmer's hands on your shoulders made you jump "Jesus Christ!"

"It's me, don't panic!" Rimmer chuckled as you took your headphones off.

"Try saying that to me when you haven't just given me a heart attack" You laughed as you held your chest.

"Sorry I took so long, it's hard to get that bogbot to shut up" Rimmer smiled as it dawned on you that he might've heard you.

"It's fine ...you ...you didn't hear me singing did you?" You asked as Rimmer's eyes darted to the side "Oh you did didn't you?"

"Why? Is that a bad thing?" Rimmer asked as he crouched down beside you. 

"I had my headphones on ok, I got lost in my bubble" You blushed as you looked down at the floor. 

"There's nothing wrong with that" Rimmer couldn't understand why you were so worried "Are you done with the machine?"

"Yeah I was just closing it up" You smiled as Rimmer stood up holding his hands out to help you "I hope no one else heard me, it was probably awful"

As you walked hand in hand back to your quarters Rimmer opted to wait a few seconds before responding to your last statement. 

"It wasn't actually" Rimmer smiled as you reached the door to your quarters. 

"Oh you're just saying that to be nice" You brushed him off as you walked over to the bed, kicking your boots off and throwing your switchblade and multi tool on the side.

"No I'm not" He smiled as he sat next to you "You actually sounded pretty good" 

"Oh hush" You blushed again as Rimmer took off his shoes.

"No really, you did" He replied as you cuddled up to one another on the bed "But I'm guessing asking you to sing for me is out of the question?" 

"Oh definitely" You laughed quietly as you laid your head on his chest as he played with your hair "Hang on, don't you have a dictaphone?"

"Well I did until Lister lost it on the ship somewhere!" Rimmer chuckled as you looked up at him.

"If I stumble across it I'm flushing it!" You screwed your nose up at him as he smiled.

"If you do find it, I can order you to give back" Rimmer played the Officer card.

"Yeah and I outrank you and I'm flushing it!"

"Fine you win!" Rimmer chuckled, his hand subtly moving from around your shoulder to the bottom of your back, drawing soft circles.

"Don't even think about it! I'm a hard light hologram and will not be held responsible for your injuries!" You warned with a hint of playfulness.

"I'm only winding you up" Rimmer kissed the top of your head "You know I wouldn't record you right?"

"Yeah I know!" You smiled up at him "You wouldn't bring yourself to piss off a superior!"

"I wouldn't speak so soon missy!" 

"I walked right into that didn't I?" You pretended to grumble. 

"Don't worry, I prefer to save all my wind ups for Lister anyway!" Rimmer spoke quietly in your ear.

"And that's the way it should be!" You laughed as the ship rumbled around you "What was that?"

"Oh probably Kryten using the broken airlock again, I've told him 5 times not to use it" Rimmer rambled, your eyes locked on the window.

"No that!" You pointed to the window, Rimmer's face dropping in pure panic.

"Oh smeg!"

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

You had been staring into the bottom of your mug for what felt like hours, only being brought out of your dissociative state by the hands resting gently on your shoulders. In reality about 10 minutes had past and Rimmer, having woken up when you left not much earlier, had come to look for you.

“Hey what are you doing up?” He spoke softly in your ear as he sat down in the chair next to you.

“Can’t sleep” You muttered, eyes still on the cup in your hands.

“I know that look, what’s going on?” Rimmer kept his voice soft and quiet.

“Ah don’t worry about it I’ll be fine” You tried to smile but you knew he’d see straight through it.

“What’s going on in that noggin’ of yours?” Rimmer smiled sweetly.

“I’ll be fine!” You sighed as Rimmer looked at you worried.

“Alright ok” Rimmer muttered “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You don’t have to worry about me Arnie I’ll be alright” You tried once more to shoo him off.

“Of course I have to worry about you darling” Rimmer looked at you a little sad “I love you don’t I?”

You let out a little laugh with a small smile, of course he was going to worry about you, you were faced with a bad event you knew absolutely nothing about, an event that had caused you multiple panic attacks and almost put another crew member at risk but most of all he loved you.

“Are you sure there’s nothing I can do?” Rimmer asked again, feeling lost and clueless not knowing how to help you “At least come back to bed?”

“I won’t be able to sleep, I can’t do anything while not knowing what’s going to happen on that ship tomorrow” You finally broke, your eyes tearing up.

“I knew I’d get it out of you eventually” Rimmer smiled as he stood up, holding your hands for you to follow “Come here”

“I’m scared” You mumbled against his chest as he held you tightly in his arms.

“I don’t blame, I would be ...infact I am” Rimmer replied, placing a kiss to the top of your head.

“You’re always scared” You teased with a sniff as you felt Rimmer chuckle against you.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that” Rimmer smiled “You’re not going through this alone, I’ll be right beside you every step of the way ...no matter how scared I get”

“I know you will” You let out a quiet laugh.

“And so will the boys, Lister, Kryten and even Cat” Rimmer reminded you  “Sure we might not be the best crew but there’s not a lot of options when you’re 3 million years into deep space”

“I wouldn’t change my crew for the world, especially you” You looked up at Rimmer with a smile, you eyes a little red and your cheeks tear stained.

“Come on let’s go back to bed” Rimmer smiled as you furrowed your brows.

“I told you I can’t sleep” You frowned.

“I didn’t say you had to go to sleep?” Rimmer looked down at you “I want you to at least rest”

You sighed with a smile as you let Rimmer take you back to bed, you were still absolutely terrified but knowing Rimmer will always be beside you made it that little bit easier and if Lister was to hear you say that you’d be sent straight to Kryten for a full medical to make sure you hadn’t gone completely insane. Rimmer still kept his walls high but you had knocked down a few layers and you were now warm and safe inside.

“So what do you think we’ll find on this ship then?” Rimmer asked as you snuggled into his side, his arm around you, his fingertips running up and down your spine “I hope it’s aliens”

“Oh here we go” You teased as you felt his fingers squeeze your side “You would hope for aliens!”

“Well there’s no excitement in hoping for something predictable?” Rimmer chuckled, not a single cafe in the world about you winding him up over his crazy hopes and dreams.

“Ok I’ll give you that” You smiled as you looked up at him “You should get some sleep?”

“I’ll be fine, I want to stay up with you” Rimmer replied as he gently placed kiss to your forehead, his thumb rubbing your shoulder “I don’t want you up all night on your own worrying”

“Awh aren’t you sweet?” You teased again as he chuckled.

“You’re the only one I’d ever do this for you know that right?” Rimmer smiled as you snuggled into him more.

“I know, thank you for letting me in” You mumbled as he went back to running his fingertips up and down your back.

“Anything for you darling” Rimmer spoke softly and sweetly in your ear as you smiled.

After a couple more hours spent talking the two of you fell asleep ...much to your disappointment of being woken up by Kryten doing his round.

“Morning sir, morning ma’am!” Kryten sang cheerfully.

“Kryten bog off” You grumbled earning a sleepy chuckle from Rimmer as you still lay in the same position you fell asleep in.

“Are you going to get Lister and Cat up? Or should I do it?” Rimmer yawned as he sat up.

“It’s up to you sir!” Kryten shrugged.

“I’ll do it then, it’ll be a laugh!” Rimmer got up to get ready as you sat up “Are you coming?”

“What? And miss it all? Of course I’m coming!” You smiled as you stretched.

Rimmer had briefly considered running into the room the boys were sleeping in screaming at the top of his lungs but he figured he’d be somewhat nice about waking them up. Still he went in shouting, reminding them that he was an officer and they couldn’t ignore him or his orders, even if they tried he wasn’t leaving.

“You’re such a smeghead Rimmer” Lister grumbled as he finally made it to the cockpit.

“Takes one to know one Listy!” Rimmer smirked as you shook your head with a laugh “What?”

“That comeback was awful, even for you!” You smiled as he screwed his nose up at you.

“Right everyone’s here, let’s go!” Rimmer ordered as the boys took Starbug out of the asteroid and to the time hole.

“Everyone armed and ready?” You asked as you flung your bazookoid gun over your shoulder.

“I think so” Lister looked everyone over.

“Are you ready?” Rimmer spoke quietly to you.

“As ready as I’ll ever be” You smiled before walking off ahead “Come on let’s go!”

You were being bold and brave now but you knew that could very quickly change, you didn’t know what lay ahead and you could never be ready to find out what terrible thing happened to you on this ship but you had Rimmer and the rest of the crew by your side and that gave you a little comfort.

“What is this ship Krytes?” Lister asked.

“The SS Pandora!” You grumbled a little.

“Pretty sure I asked Kryten?” Lister mumbled under his breath.

“Lister shut up!” Rimmer growled as you all walked slowly around the ship.

“It’s Miss Y/N’s old ship sir!” Kryten filled him in.

“Ah!” Lister looked over at you sheepishly.

“What are we looking for anyway?” Cat added his 2 cents to the conversation.

“We don’t know yet” You were more focused on the corridor in front of you than the chit chat going on between your crew mates “Maybe we should split up, Lister and Cat you take left, we’ll take right”

The SS Pandora was relatively small in comparison to the Dwarf and it didn’t take long for you all to find each other again. You had checked all the rooms on board except one that was locked from the inside.

“I’m gonna have to switch to soft light so I can walk through the door and open it” You sighed as you prepared yourself.

“Yes Ma’am” Kryten nodded as he held the small keypad that could switch both you and Rimmer between light modes.

“Wait, let me do it!” Rimmer looked at you, worry in his eyes.

“I’ll be fine Arnie” You smiled even though you knew he could see straight through it.

“We don’t know what’s on the other side of that door and you’re too much of a target!” Rimmer rambled in panic “Please let me do it!”

“Since when did you become brave?” Lister couldn’t help but make a comment.

“Alright fine” You smiled, Rimmer’s willingness to take a risk to keep you safe made your heart flutter.

“Right let’s do this!” Rimmer took a deep breath as Kryten gave him a nod before pressing the button, watching him as his uniform changed from blue to red with a wiggle before stepping through the door.

“Anything?” Lister shouted.

“Not really!” Rimmer replied as you felt the presence of another being behind you, your hard light body becoming tense and rigid.

Before you could scream for the others, a hand was slapped across your mouth as you were dragged alway.

“Y/N?” Lister shouted as he turned to notice you had gone.

“Well that was a bust” Rimmer grumbled as he opened the door “What?”

The other 3 stood and stared at the spot where you were standing as Rimmer noticed you were no longer with them.

“Are you telling not one of you thought to keep an eye on her?” Rimmer growled before storming off ahead.

“We searched the entire ship and didn’t find anyone, how can Y/N have been taken?” Lister tried to catch up with Rimmer.

“You were supposed to be watching her therefore your fault!” Rimmer grumbled, although he was holding the others responsible for you being taken he was really blaming himself, maybe if he had let you shift light and go through the door you’d still be with him, had he just been his usual cowardly self instead of being brave maybe you wouldn’t have been taken.

As the rest of your crew ran round the ship trying to find you, you found yourself in the engine room. The thing that had taken you was a simulant, an insane Android that you had no recollection of.

“He’ll be soon” The simulant looked down at you as you sat chained to a pipe.

As the simulant left you tried your hardest to pull the chain but it was hopeless, whoever ‘he’ was knew about holograms and hard light having made sure that the chain was unbreakable.

“Come ...on” You aggressively hit the chain against the pipe, in hope that by some sheer luck it might break “HELP!”

Your scream for help was only loud enough for Kryten to hear as his rubber ears pricked up.

“This way sirs!” The mechanoid directed them towards you.

With the sound of your screaming that only one of them could hear and no life sign showing on the scanner you expected it to be awhile before they found you.

“Y/N? CAN YOU HEAR ME?” You heard Rimmer shout out, they were much closer than you thought.

“IN HERE!” You shouted back as the boys finally found you.

“Y/N!” Rimmer exclaimed as he ran over to you, trying to break the chain that bound you to the ship.

“Arnie don’t bother, it’s pointless” You sighed almost in defeat.

“We need to do something?” You could see the absolute panic and terror in his eyes as he looked you, your arms desperate to hug him and tell him everything will be ok ...even if you were the one chained up.

“The chain is unbreakable”

“Unbreakable ma’am?” Kryten walked over with Lister and Cat not far behind.

“A simulant took me and locked me up and whoever ordered them to do it knows about holograms and hardlight” You explained as what felt like a sharp jolt of electricity ran through you as you screamed.

“What the hell was that?” Rimmer panicked.

“Step away from the hologram!” A much lower almost evil voice appeared.

“You!” You stared at the man as everything that had been a mystery slowly started to come back.

The man was a professor, Professor Ruin to be exact, he had spent years trying to kidnap you when you were on the Pandora and nobody believed you when you tried to report it. His plan was to kill you and resurrect you as a hologram purely for him to run experiments and torture you ...or what he would call ‘research’.

“Finally you have returned” Professor Ruin grinned, Rimmer taking a huge gulp.

“You cracked my light bee, you’re the reason I glitched out” As everything hit you, you couldn’t help but cry.

“STAY AWAY FROM HER!” Rimmer shouted as the professor went to take a step towards you.

“Oh another hologram ...excellent!” Ruin chuckled manically, the boys all cocking their bazookoids ready to shoot.

“If you want either of them you’ve got to get through us first!” Lister stepped forwarded followed by Kryten and reluctantly Cat as Rimmer stood by you.

“Arnie!” You whispered as you managed to kick your bazookoid to him, hitting the back of his feet.

“I don’t know how to use it?” He kept his voice as quiet as possible.

“Blue switch at the bottom, aim at the chain and shoot!” You whispered the instructions as Rimmer shakily picked up the gun, not quite comfortable with the power he had been given, after all he knew what kind of mods you had given to it.

“I can’t, what if it hits you?” Rimmer looked at you wide eyed at your suggestion.

“Either that or he hits me and I’m gone for good!” You looked at him, eyes glossy as they filled with tears, the thought of living without you bringing Rimmer to a decision.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

A few weeks after defeating Ruin and blowing up Pandora, Kryten still insisted on you having regular check ups. It turned out Rimmer wasn’t the only one who had become protective of you.

“So is everything good?” You asked the mech as Rimmer paced around the room “Will you stop it?”

“I can’t help it, I’m nervous” Rimmer chewed on the tip of his thumb “Anything?”

“There does appear to be a tiny crack starting to form in your light bee” Kryten looked at you to avoid the potential glare he might’ve gotten from Rimmer. 

“Can it be fixed?” Rimmer asked looking over at you laying on the medi bed.

“Well at this moment it’s still far too small for me to repair it sir” Kryten tried to keep a calm voice.

“So what we just wait for the crack to get bigger and hope Y/N doesn’t glitch off the ship in the meantime?” Rimmer was beginning to get flustered.

“Arnie calm down” You grabbed his hand stopping him from pacing.

“How can I calm down when there’s a risk I might lose you?” Rimmer looked upset.

“Sir I can assure you that won’t happen!” Kryten smiled, not that he reassured Rimmer all that much. 

“Arnie sit down” You spoke softly as you sat up so he could sit with you.

“I don’t understand how you’re so calm about this?” Rimmer rambled as you held his hands feeling him let go of the hypothetical breath he was holding in. 

“I’ve had a contingency plan in place since I first glitched here just in case it were to happen again” You kept your voice calm, gently running your thumbs across the back of his hands “I’ve patched in a barrier so if I were to glitch I won’t go off the ship and when the system detects whatever may happen first, whether it be a glitch or the crack getting too big it will automatically  shut off my projection until Kryten can fix me” 

“So you’ll be safe” Rimmer asked, eyes like a sad puppy. 

“At most I might be gone for a day or two but other than that you’re stuck with me I’m afraid” You smiled as he chuckled quietly.

“You know I don’t have problem with that” Rimmer smiled sweetly as he leant into kiss  you being interrupted by Kryten clearing his throat. 

“Sorry must have something stuck in my vocal unit” Kryten’s bright blue eyes darted around the room “I think there’s a room in need of a tidy” 

You and Rimmer hadn’t broken eye contact the entire time as Kryten scurried away. Laughing as Rimmer leant into kiss you as intended.

“Hey guys the scanner has picked something up?" You exclaimed having joined Cat and Lister in the drive room. 

"I thought you were meant to be resting?" Lister raised his eyebrow with a smile.

"Yeah Arnie tried to keep me on bedrest but theres only so many hours you can spend staring at the ceiling before you go insane!" You sighed, your eyes more focused on the screen in front of you.

"Well you're sleeping with Rimmer, I'd say you're already insane!" Lister sniggered.

"Shut it Lister!" Rimmer growled from the seat behind you.

"Now now boys!" You teased as you smiled at Rimmer.

"So what is it?" Cat asked, curious about what the scanner had located.

"Appears to be a derelict, I guess we're going supply shopping!" You grinned as Lister and Cat left to get ready, Rimmer stopping you as you tried to follow.

"Where do you think you're going missy?" Rimmer smiled putting his arm out in front of you.

"Please don't make me stay here, I'm going crazy as it is" You grumbled.

"You're still recovering from what happened and I'm not letting you get into any situation that might make that crack worse" You knew Rimmer was just worried and looking out for you but you were still miffed.

"Well in that case you know what else can make the crack worse?" You smirked as you crossed your arms.

"I'm not sure I... wait really?" Rimmer groaned "That can make the crack worse?"

"Any kind of strenuous physical activity ...which means I'm off limits!" You teased as you watched Rimmer's face become flustered.

"Alright fine, you can come along but you're staying in Starbug!" Rimmer ordered "I can still kiss you though right?"

"Yes Arnie..." You stood on your tiptoes to place a kiss to his lips "You can still kiss me" 

Rimmer took a sigh of relief as he followed you out of the drive room to make your way to Starbug.

"Woah what are you doing here?" Lister grinned as you walked into the stern "I thought you were grounded"

"Oh I am, I'll be staying here while you lot explore the derelict" You smiled as you walked over to one of the storage cupboards pulling out what was left of an old bazookoid "In the meantime I'm gonna work on this spare bazookoid"

"Yeah well we did lose one in the..." Cat stopped talking as soon as he saw Rimmer glaring at him "Well you know"

"Yeah ...I know" You sighed, feeling your mood deflate a little, you know Cat didn't mean any harm and he was just pointing out the obvious but you still hadn't processed what happened with Ruin and the whole venture was a sore subject. 

"What did I say?" Rimmer laid into Cat.

"Sorry it slipped, I didn't think" Cat shrugged.

"Nothing new there then" Lister smirked as he walked into the cockpit.

"HEY!" Cat shouted after him, frown on his face as he followed him even though he probably didn't fully understand what Lister said.

"Will you be ok?" Rimmer spoke softly to you.

"I'll be fine, don't worry" You smiled "I've got a little project to work on"

"Do you need any help ma'am?" Kryten asked, trying to avoid having to be in the cockpit with Lister and Cat bickering. 

"Nah I've got it Krytes" You replied as he shuffled off to the cockpit "Man I've missed this green machine"

"If being away from Red Dwarf helps you feel better, who I am to deny it?" Rimmer smiled as you pulled out your trusty switchblade and prised open the bazookoid shell "Right I better make sure those gimboids get Starbug out safely, once we've switched to auto pilot I'll join you" 

"Try not to scream at anyone" You smiled as he kissed you on the cheek.

"Can't promise anything" He chuckled as you furrowed your brows "Whats wrong?"

"Did you hear that?" You looked around to see if you could pin point where the noise came from.

"No ...it was probably just a space weevil" Rimmer smiled "As you to continued look round.

"Yeah space weevil" You shrugged it off.

Having realised there were missing parts to your project, you decided to go on a hunt leaving the others back in the cockpit. You were mumbling to yourself as you went through a store cupboard going through different old pieces of tech to see what you could salvage.

"Hey, we're almost there" Rimmer spoke softly to not make you jump "What are you doing?"

"Trying to find parts to fix the bazookoid" You muttered "Sod it this will have to do"

Taking your finds back to the stern, the boys were getting ready to explore the derelict. 

"Sure I can't go with you?" You tried to get Rimmer to change his mind even though you knew full well he wouldn't.

"You're staying here where its safe" Rimmer chuckled as he tugged at your hips "We won't be long"

"You better not be or I might have to come look for you" You teased with a raise of your eyebrow.

"No you won't!" Rimmer smirked.

"Will you two hurry up?" Lister moaned as you realised everyone was waiting on Rimmer.

"Sorry, go on" You gave Rimmer a quick kiss on the cheek "Keep me updated if you find anything"

Once everyone else had gone off to explore you returned to fixing up the bazookoid. The table in the stern was covered in pieces and parts as you figured out what could be fixed and what had to be replaced. Completely lost in your little bubble you were startled by the same rustling noise you had heard earlier.

"Damn space weevils" You grumbled "One day I'm gonna go round and smoosh them all"

If it weren't for the fact you were alone and dealing with trauma you probably wouldn't have cared all that much. You heard the rustling again, it sounding closer than before but looking around you saw nothing. Just as you were putting the last of the bazookoid together you heard the rustling again and with what you could've sworn was talking. With the bazookoid fixed and loaded you went to investigate, creeping slowly around the stern as you tried to figure out where the noise was coming from. Eventually you found whatever it was, was in the store cupboard Lister would usually keep his guitar in on long haul trips. 

Walking over to the kitchenette so you could grab one of Kryten's mops and open the door to the storage cupboard from a distance, slowly creeping back over with the bazookoid ready. Holding the bazookoid on your shoulder, finger ready to shoot, you reached out the pole of mop, hooking it under the door handle as you counted down from five before opening it. 

"Please don't shoot!" The stowaway squeaked.

"Who are you and why are you on this ship?" You kept the bazookoid aimed forward. 

"I'm not a bad person I swear" The stowaway held her hands up, it was then you noticed the two sharp fangs as she spoke.

"A felis sapien!" You mumbled.

"You're Y/N right?" The felis sapien asked.

"Where did you come from and how do you know my name?" You asked a little panicked, you definitely didn't recognise them and the only felis sapien you had ever known was Cat.

"I was on Pandora!" The stowaway slowly gave up the information you asked for.

"Oh god!" You felt the area where you heart would be tighten.

"I'm not a bad person, please put the gun down" The stowaway seemed frightened.

"Not until you tell me who you are and why you're here?" You demanded.

"My name is Ophelia" Ophelia sighed "Can you please put the gun down now?"

"Why are you here?" You asked again, slowly placing the bazookoid down on the floor in front of you "And how did you know my name?"

"You were a test subject of Professor Ruins right?" Ophelia asked innocently as you felt a numbing tingle down your spine, hoping and praying Rimmer and the boys would come through the door any second.

"What of it?" You glared.

"I'm a test subject too" Ophelia looked down at the floor, you wasn't sure whether to believe her or not, for all you know she was a stowaway on Pandora too and overhead what happened to you, using it as a way to get you to feel sorry for her "He kept me locked up in the old cargo bay, I heard voices in the engine room and over heard your plan to freeze Shade and blow up the ship, my only way out was to hide on your ship"

"Well ...erm ...he's gone now ...gone for good" You tried to sound reassuring but it was hard to give someone else sympathy for something you were reeling from. 

"I promise I didn't mean to scare you and I have no intentions of hurting anyone, I just needed to get off of Pandora" Ophelia spluttered in panic.

"Its fine, just sit down and don't touch anything" You sighed as you walked over to the cockpit "I'll be back in a second"

You walked into the cockpit, closing the door behind you and making sure it was locked. Sitting in Rimmer's seat, you pressed the comms switch on his console.

"Darling, can you hear me?" You spoke quietly through the microphone only getting static in return.

"I can hear you, are you ok?" Rimmer asked, you could hear Cat and Lister bickering about something in the background.

"Are they still at it?" You asked as Rimmer groaned.

"They haven't stopped! Is everything ok?" 

"Yeah erm, how long are you going to be?" 

"We're just heading back now, why?"

"I'll tell you when you get back, let me know when you're outside" You asked as Rimmer grumbled, sounding suspicious of you hiding something. 

Not long after you had spoken to Rimmer, the rest of your crew were outside.

"We're outside" Rimmer's voice came through your watch as you walked over to the door, only opening it enough to poke your head through. 

"Arnie can I talk to you for a moment?" You looked at him a little panicked "Alone?"

"Oooooooohhhhhh" Lister and Cat smirked as Rimmer walked in.

"Oh shut up!" Rimmer groaned "You lot stay there!" 

Once the door had closed and you were certain they couldn't hear you, you began to explain.

"Whats up?" Rimmer asked, hanging up his bazookoid and putting down a bag of stuff he had picked up from the derelict.

"Right don't panic but there was stowaway in one of Starbug's store cupboards" You tried to keep calm as Rimmer's mouth fell open.

"What kind of stowaway? Are they still here? Did they hurt you?" Rimmer went off throwing out questions.

"Arnie turn around" You replied as you put your hands on his shoulders as he turned.

"Hey!" Ophelia smiled as Rimmer stood silently. 

"Her name is Ophelia" You told him as he looked at you "She's a felis sapien"

"Oh god, we've already got one cat" Rimmer sighed as Ophelia frowned.

"Arnie!" 

"Where did she come from?" 

"I was another test subject of Ruin's, I hid in here when I overhead Y/N's plan to blow up Pandora" Ophelia explained.

"Oh this is just brilliant" Rimmer laughed, tainted with sarcasm.

"Arnold! Sorry about him Ophelia!" You apologised as you opened the door to let the others in.

"Please call me Phee!" Ophelia smiled, ignoring Rimmer.

"Hey guys, we've got ourselves a stowaway, she's a felis sapien and her name is Ophelia ...please be nicer than Arnold was!" You gave the others a look to make sure they followed your orders "Arnie I think you owe Phee an apology"

"Sorry" Rimmer mumbled as if he was a little boy being told off by his mum. 

Cat and Lister made use of the trip back to Red Dwarf to get to know Ophelia. Of course once back on Red Dwarf Cat had to make her aware of what was his. 

"That's mine!" Cat smiled "...and that ...thats mine!"

Finally you had made it to the boys sleeping quarters, Lister immediately heading to the fridge for another lager.

"This is mine and Rimmer's quarters although he never sleeps in here because Y/N is his bird!" Lister smirked at Rimmer who growled.

"What he means by that is that Arnold and I are in a relationship" You clarified more sophisticated than Lister.

"Don't worry, I had a feeling" Ophelia smiled.

"Phee, theres beers and milk in the fridge over there, knock yourself out" Lister grinned.

"Thank you!" Ophelia replied, feeling a little shy.

"Oh and this is Holly, hey Hol?" Lister called out as the floating head appeared on the screen in front of everyone.

"Hang on who's this?" Holly asked.

"Ophelia, she was hiding on Starbug" Cat grinned.

While Ophelia made acquaintances with the ships computer, Cat then offered to show her round. Meanwhile Lister was miles away playing a video game while you and Rimmer laid together in his bunk. 

"So did you find anything interesting on the derelict?" You asked as Rimmer's fingertips gently massaged you head. 

"Medical supplies mostly, few stationary items ...but don't tell the others about those!" Rimmer chuckled.

"Darling, I wouldn't dream of it" You laughed softly.

"Nothing like what you found on Starbug ...or should I say who you found on Starbug!" Rimmer sighed.

"Yeah first time back in the Starbug since Ruin and this happens" You grumbled.

"I assume Phee will be staying?" Rimmer asked.

"Well its not like we don't have the room" You laughed as you turned to face him, propping yourself up on your elbow "Besides it will be nice to have a girl around here"

"Oh by the way!" Rimmer smiled as he moved to lean over the side of the bed, picking up a bag from the floor next to his bunk "I found some new books for our collection and as you couldn't come with us I thought I'd let you read them first"

"You really do know the way to my heart" You teased as Rimmer put the bag back down on the floor, leaning in closer to you as you both giggled between kisses, a cushion from the sofa suddenly thrown at you by Lister ultimately making you both laugh more as Rimmer threw the cushion back without looking, hitting Lister directly on the head.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text