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Dream felt the heave and burn of his lungs the faster he ran but he didn’t dare to stop. He knew what would happen to him if he stopped before he got to where he knew he’d be safe. He wasn’t foolish enough to give in to the pain in his body. Wasn’t dull enough to crumble to his knees and weep for everything that he’d lost in the hell that was Pandora’s vault. He couldn’t stop to breathe. Couldn’t stop to rest his shaking body. Couldn’t stop to think.
Not until he saw the glimmer of quartz from church prime in the distance did he feel something in his chest loosen. He pushed himself faster. Ran as fast as his trembling legs could carry him. He didn’t stop until he pushed himself through its doors and breathed in its clean air. So much different from the prison. Cool and clear instead of filled with lava heat and the choking scent of his own blood.
He missed this place.
Everyone forgot that he was a faithful man. They forgot that he helped build this church from the ground up. That he laid the rules of the holy land that regardless of what was happening on the outside anyone on its grounds would be safe from harm. They forgot that he was the one that designed the images in the church’s stained glass. He was the one that came here the most. He was the one that blessed the water that fell from the ceiling to the floor. He was the one that prayed in the light silence of the church. The one place that called peace on a server of nothing but bloody wars.
Reaching it now was like reaching heaven itself.
With the doors locked and his peace confirmed he felt tears well in his eyes. He dragged himself forward. Dipped his bloody hands into the holy water and the rest of him followed soon after. It felt clean. It felt pure. It felt like the tension in his body melted away and he could finally touch the peace that had been stripped of him so long ago.
His mind began to wonder. It started to escape him and leave to a happier time. A time where he wasn’t alone. A time where he wouldn’t be doing this in a church because he’d have other safe places to go. Memories of grassy fields, of laughter and love and camaraderie. But those memories were just that. They were memories. Memories that he could no longer touch outside his mind. There were no more safe places for him anymore. He’d followed his instructions. He’d done as he was bid. And he’d lost what most would call everything.
Dream simply just knew better than the rest of them. He knew where real value was.
When the ache in his lungs turned to a burn starving for air he pushed himself from the stream of water. He’d known what would happen after the prison. He’d known the church would become his safe haven. He’d prepared for it. So he stripped himself of his soaked and blood stained prison uniform until he was left in just his underwear. It was fine. Just as long as he didn’t look at his wounds he would be completely fine. It would be alright. He didn’t have to think about it. Not the infected wounds, not the scars that ruined his body. The bones that he could see far too clearly. The injury that the prison had made of him. Even though the coolness of the church slighted the fever he felt coursing through his blood he still wanted to be clothed. He needed the security. He scanned the floor until he saw the little mark he’d placed for himself to remember where the hatch was. Reaching out a weak hand he opened the hatch that he’d placed clothes and supplies in before the finale events. He felt his stomach drop when he found it was empty.
His emotions threatened to choke him but he pushed them back. He didn’t have time for this. The ache between his shoulder blades reminded him of it with every passing second. He wasn’t an emotional person. He was here for his wisdom. He was alive because of his intelligence and strength. He was alive because he worked for it. Because he had made it so.
He was alive.
He was alive because of himself. He had his goals and strength because he’d made a choice. Because for one single thing. One single time. His emotions and logic had wanted and begged for the same thing. The same person.
A cool hand touched the back of his neck and immediately he had to suppress a flinch. He’d locked the door. He was alone in the church. Alone except for him and his God.
“You flinched from me.”
Dream felt his heart beat faster. Felt his skin flood with heat as he leaned into the hand resting by the base of his skull.
“HD.”
The name came breathy from his lips. The knowledge that HD had come for him so quickly after his escape made him feel light headed. After everything he’d still been right. The hand radiating cold through his heated skin made him dizzy. He wanted more. And then he heard the edge in HD’s voice.
“You’re bleeding. You’re injured.”
Dream tried to speak. Tried to assure his God that he could still be of service. Tried to beg his God not to throw him away. But HD continued. His hand resting cool and Dream couldn’t get enough. His hand felt like heaven against heated flesh as his fingers corded through wet blonde hair. Dream couldn’t focus like this. Maybe it was just him realizing how bad his fever was. But he couldn’t concentrate. The only thoughts in his mind were of HD. Only on how to please him.
“You’re in pain, Dream. I can feel it.”
The slight echo of HD’s voice sent waves of comfort through Dream’s body. The cool hand trailing down his spine and pressing lightly between his shoulder blades. He nearly moaned at the feeling. His eyes closed fast and his body tensed from the pressure against the sensitive area. His breathing hitched. HD’s other hand came to rest around the column of his throat. Without a thought he tilted his head back to give his God more access. The hand on his back pressed in harder. HD’s voice coming out in a whisper and sending Dream into a spiral.
“Let them out. You’re safe. Show me the gifts I gave you.”
Dream obeyed immediately. The soft touches overriding anything in him that warned him not to show his God the damage of the prison. Dream complied. Turned to nothing but a moldable wax in the presence of the only one that still wanted him. He felt like he was in a fog. The only thing he could focus on was the touch he was receiving. The gentle, light touches that guided and shaped him into something more. The presence that felt like it quieted everything else. Everything that was perfect. Everything that to Dream just meant it was HD’s.
Once upon a time Dream had been praying here. On his knees like he is now but fully clothed and covered in armor. He’d prayed for guidance then. Prayed for answers and security. When he’d been greeted by HD he’d gained what he asked for. He gained what he wanted. Just as HD had gained his new favorite worshiper. As their time together grew the bond between them did too. Two separate beings that found themselves together in a way few could ever replicate. Two hearts that beat in sync after one single wish.
“Please,” Dream had asked. Nearly breathless as HD locked their eyes and felt his heart race. As he’d seen his favorite human offer every part of himself at his God’s feet. “Let me be your angel. Let me be with you.”
The light from Dream had always been addicting to HD. He had always been different from the other humans. He was a creator and a destroyer. He was thoughtful and acted with the force and light of a supernova. So he accepted the wish. He granted him the full affection of a God. Blessed him with two white wings to fly to the sun he so closely resembled.
Both HD and Dream had loved his wings. Large and white and reflective of light like fresh glimmering snow the morning after it fell. Maybe there was something to say about that. Maybe there was a part of HD that loved Dream for another reason. A piece of knowledge that every mortal had forgotten.
A pit in the ground that was meant to be containing Dreamons and accidentally caught a God. A table with chains and golden restraints that pinned HD’s one person and ripped him apart. A table that HD had found two halves of his person. One god and one mortal. Where he had watched the mortal portion struggle to comprehend and succeed. Where he had watched over him and made the decision that he would get his love back one way or another.
Dream had wings that reflected the light he held in his heart. They were strong. They were pure. Pure in intentions and powerful logic that most humans seemed to lack. They were a restoration that HD had loved to give him. And if he enjoyed the way Dream had clung to him as they grew, that was his own knowledge. If he had felt his own heart beat faster at the sounds of pleads and prayers that spilled from his favorites lips then no one would know but the confessional of the void. Dream had carried his blessings proudly. Showing them every time he was with HD and hiding them from the rest of the mortals. Keeping his God safe from them and showing his own possessive streak. Not that HD minded. Dream prayed more than enough to give HD everything he wanted. He already had Dream after all. Dream’s wings were part of him. Part of him that both of them had cherished and loved. Part of him that symbolized all he was and stood for.
But now?
Now as HD pressed his palm against a spine he was distubed he could feel the bumps of. As Dream knelt nearly naked and oh so damaged on the floor of a church. As HD whispered to him and Dream relaxed to the touch of his God. Two wings unfurled and fell limp to the ground. Dulled white feathers caked in filth and blood. Weak without use and singed from lava. Scarred and broken wings that fell weakly on HD’s lap.
A breath left Dream as the tension melted fully from his body once again. His eyes stayed closed until he felt the hand at his throat tighten. It was nothing of a grip. Nothing of a threat. Just a tense and flex in reaction. Immediately Dream tried to turn. Tried to look at his God for the first time in ages but HD stopped him.
“HD-”
“Your wings.”
His voice came out dangerously. Dark with a storm of implications. Dream tried to assure him but he could already feel his own panic rising. He didn’t want to upset HD. He needed him to know. He needed him to know that he’d tried to keep his blessings safe. That he’d never wanted this.
“I knew prison would be hard. I-..I knew it would be difficult. But the injuries- the torture- my wounds were infected.” They still are. “I tried. I tried to hide them. But they hit the point and I couldn’t-”
He didn’t notice his breathing had picked up. Didn’t notice the hands leaving his body. Didn’t notice the presence shifting from behind him to in front of him. Not until hands were cupping his face and HD’s voice ran directly through his mind.
“Breathe. Dream. I’m here. You’re safe.”
He hadn’t realized he’d begun a prayer in his panic. Hadn’t realized he’d flooded his fear to his God. Hadn’t even realized his eyes had closed until he was opening them to meet concern in HD’s own dark eyes. HD was never one that showed emotion much. He cared for Dream because Dream matched him. Calculative. Strong. Powerful. But both of them were showing what they seldom ever did. Fear.
“I’m not mad at you, Starlight. You’re hurting. I’m worried.”
HD’s voice soothed him. Despite the fact that the cloth that covered his lower face never moved and his voice was only in Dream’s mind it eased him.
“I damaged your gift. I became weak.”
“No.”
The answer was firm. Simple. No room for any kind of hesitation.
“You’ve suffered. That’s all. You’re still standing. Still thinking, still planning. You are more wise than any human I’ve met. More firefilled than your blazeborne friend. You are the sun of this world. The prison has merely made it night. You’ll rise again.
Dream stayed quiet. Leaning again into HD’s touch and wishing for more. HD hummed. His voice lowered into something that resembled a dark secret that only the two of them could ever know.
“Tell me what you want.”
He could see the shine in Dream’s eyes at his words. See the glimmer and spark in emerald green that infatuated him with their otherworldly color. The color that Dream hid from everyone but him. He knew what he was doing. Knew the feelings he gave to his angel. But neither of them minded. Both of them wanted it. Dream wanted the peace. HD wanted dominance. He moved his hand to cover over Dream’s eyes. Knowing his angel would take the hint and close them. He remembered Dream apologizing for closing his eyes. For hiding because HD looked similar to someone he knew. HD understood. He looked at Dream and he saw what he used to be. He understood. But it broke his heart to see his angel apologize for something so understandable. He made sure he let Dream know he could close them whenever he wanted. Whenever he couldn’t look. HD would show him things in another way. He removed his hands from him after that. Leaving Dream unanchored with his eyes closed as he sat on the floor in front of him and took in everything in Dream’s posture.
The way the water was still drying from his skin and hair. The frailty in his skin and body. The way his breathing hitched once again when he lost HD’s touch. He watched as he trembled and shook on the ground. And it left him wanting more. He loved his human. But he was also thrilled to hear the desperate tone in Dream’s voice.
“Touch me?”
HD smiled at the plea. He knew it would come but he wanted to hear it. Hear Dream’s voice ask for him. Hear his prayer beg for his affection. He ran his hands over Dream’s wings. Fixed his feathers and let his magic begin working to heal whatever he touched.
“What else?”
He could hear Dream fighting to keep himself silent. Heard the way his breaths came stuttered and how he forced his body to remain still.
“I-”
He stuttered again. His voice shaking over his trembling breaths. Struggling with the race of his heart because his God was touching him after so long without anything and it was both too much and too little all at once.
“I want-”
HD grinned under his mask. Dream looked good like this. Needing and wanting. He looked good when he prayed. He wanted to tease him more. Wanted to override the last of his human’s control and restraint. He wanted Dream to be honest. To let go of what he was holding back. And the only way for him to do that would be to make him forget himself. He let his voice ring through his angel’s head again. Let it pull the rest of his restraint away and loosen the last of his control.
“Tell me.”
“Make me feel safe.” He breathed. “Touch me. Heal me. Make me feel whole again. Stay with me. Tell me I’m alive. Tell me it was worth it.”
The words came pouring from his mouth. Rushing and rambling but still so pure and innocent and it made HD nearly overload on joy. He ran his hands over everything he could reach of Dream. Doubling his magic and watching the wounds heal over his body. He frowned when a thought struck him. Tracing his hands higher over Dream’s chest until he was cupping his face and letting his human lean into the touch like his existence depended on it.
“Starlight, do you want the scars?”
He could see Dream begin to tense. He was remembering. So HD took action. Pushing back waves of calm and ease through his mortal’s mind he watched the tension leak out again. Dream was too high strung to allow himself to be in this position. Even if it was for his God. HD holding him like this was the only reason he hadn’t panicked and let his mind take over. Too long with only logic would break a heart. And HD couldn’t risk losing the one heart that beat for him.
He could see Dream twitch. Watched him reach out blindly and HD understood. He guided his hand so Dream could clutch to the front of his robes. Let him feel him and know that he was there. The effect was immediate. Dream nearly went limp into him. Letting HD’s hands guide his body and heal him.
“Make it go away…Make me yours..”
The words were soft. Pleading in a way that was impossible for the strong leader to do on his own. HD nodded despite knowing his angel wouldn’t see it. He ran his hands over the wounds again. Let his magic return the damaged skin back to how it was before the prison. Dream had gone there on his orders. It was the least he could do to heal his human’s wounds. The wish was a testament to the sufferings in the obsidian walls.
Dream had always enjoyed his scars. He said they were reminders of the times that his life tried to break him and failed. He said they were stories written in his skin that told him he was strong when he had doubts. That they were a map of everything he had survived rather than suffered. For him to want the scars of the prison gone it must have truly broken something in him. Something that HD was determined to fix.
“Keep telling me Starlight. Tell me what you want.”
Dream shook his head. Tried to squirm where he was kneeling to get closer so HD pressed between his shoulders where he knew a large portion of nerves connected from his wings. He heard the gasp that stole from his lungs. Felt the way Dream’s fist tightened at his chest. Felt the rush of want and need through Dream’s mind even as he kept it wrapped it fog. HD was enjoying this too much.
“Speak. You need to tell me, Starlight.”
“Please you…I want to please you.”
Ordinarily if he’d heard his angel gasp out those words he would have thought something that would certainly not belong in a church. But as it was there was a note in his voice that made him pause. Dream didn’t sound right. He sounded scared. Fearful. Like he was worried he’d done something to hurt HD.
It wasn’t hard with their bond open like this for him to check. For him to reach for Dream’s mind and raise his question. With how Dream was clinging to every fraction from him he was receiving, the response was immediate. Immediate and making HD fill with fury.
Dream’s mind had supplied him with images of the prison. Images that he was too far tucked in the fog to stop himself from giving. Images of what it was like. Of the type of treatment he was given while locked in that cell. Of the prayers he’d tried to give only to be cut off. Of how he’d hung to the thoughts of HD and stayed strong for him. And yet he still thought he’d failed him.
He thought being injured and hurt made him fail. He thought he’d upset him because he had suffered.
This was what HD meant when he tucked Dream into his mind. When he let him run on his emotions alone for a while and gave his weary mind a break. Too much of only logic would break someone. It would tear them down so far they believed their own pain was nothing but a weakness. They would think their God would leave them for being hurt trying to serve. They would believe their God would be angry because they were bleeding.
HD was going to fix this. He was going to fix it.
Slowly so that he wouldn’t startle him he began to pull the layers of fog from Dream’s mind. He began to let him surface again. He could tell right away Dream was confused. Cupping his face gently he spoke out loud. Leaving his voice to ring in Dream’s mind but also speaking it so he could hear him both ways.
“You’ve done so well. My sweet angel, you’ve done so well.”
He saw Dream shake his head again. Saw his brows scrunch up and how his body began to shake again as his wings lifted.
“Should’ve..should’ve been stronger..”
He was struggling through the fog in his mind but HD didn’t want to lift it the rest of the way. He needed Dream to stay pliant to him. Needed him to stay calm if he wanted his magic to finish healing everything wrong. Restoration of muscle and strength after so long with malnutrition and care would be extremely painful if HD wasn’t holding it back for him. Even while it gave his angel a soft fuzzy feeling and made him seem like he was about to fall into a drunken sleep it was worth it. HD would take care of him.
“You are stronger than anyone in this world, Starlight. You are smarter than all of them together. Stronger than any combination. You have outlasted something none of them would have ever survived a week of. You did so well.”
Dream’s hand relaxed in his robe but HD hardly paid it mind. He was far too interested in watching the expressions flitter across Dream’s face. Watching him remember and forget himself in the span of seconds. He leaned forward until his face was less than an inch from Dream’s. Waited like that until Dream noticed and tried to move. He brought a hand from his cheek around the back of his head. Tangling his fingers through his hair and keeping him in place.
“You are a God in mortal’s clothing. You learn more than any mortal. You learned my name. You learned my heart. You learned how to breathe my prayers and race your heart to let me feel.”
Dream nodded numbly in his grip. His breathing picked up to match the impossible speeds of his heart and HD knew his time with Dream like this was limited unless he wanted to give him a heart attack.
“He who learns must suffer. And you, my Apollo, have always learned the most.”
He pressed their foreheads together. Let his magic run freely through Dream and give him the image of them together bathed in sunlight. Let him relish in the fogged rays of the imaginary sun until Dream was a shuddering mess in his arms. HD pulled him close. So close their bodies went flush together and Dream was practically sitting on his lap.
“H-..HD?..”
His voice was hardly there at all in the question. Just a formed exhale that happened to make sense.
“Yes?”
He could feel Dream running out of energy. He could feel him surrendering to the fog in his mind. He could feel how his human tried to hold on for him even though HD was the one putting him under.
“I want to dream with you.”
The request made him pause. HD was responsible for dreams. His old counterpart had been responsible for nightmares. He’d thought that part had only split away into the God half. But looking at Dream like this. Crumpled in his arms and compliant as clay in his hands he knew it wasn’t true. Dream wanted him. In each and every way. And it made their hearts race in time together with the flood of mutual feeling.
“How do you feel now?”
Dream’s lips quirked up. His eyes still closed lightly with complete trust and surrender. HD thought he was beautiful. Even as he took away the shreds of wisdom he praised him for and left him a compliant racing heart.
“Floaty, warm, safe.”
“What do you want to feel?”
“Like yours.”
HD hummed low. For his favorite human. For his angel, his sun, his Apollo. A simple wish in a prayer was easy to give.