Archive of Our Own ^beta

It had felt like the right time.

They’d just dropped Christopher off at school, they had a couple free hours before their shift, and Buck’s smile was sleepy and sweet. Eddie thought it felt like the right time.

For years it hadn’t been. It never was, no matter how often everyone in his life told him otherwise. The timing was never perfect, there was always something else going on, something in the way. But today felt different.

Buck was sidestepping Eddie to put away one of the numerous gift shop teddy bears they’d accumulated during their past hospital stays and Eddie just went and fucking said it.

“I love you.”

Eddie watched with an inhale caught in his throat as Buck blinked over at him, patented half-smile already growing in amusement.

“I love you, too, silly! Now come on, we have errands to run before work!”

Eddie frowned, automatically reaching for Buck’s arm when he started turning away.

“No, I mea-” Eddie stopped, dread clicking into place as he went very still.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Eddie hadn’t really allowed himself to set any concrete expectations, but after building it all up in his head for so long and going through every possible outcome so many times, he’d been convinced that he’d landed on a sure thing.

He’d been convinced that Buck loved him too.

Eddie let go of Buck’s sleeve and took a step back, embarrassment seeping in under his skin as reality crashed in along with it.

“Wait- Eddie?”

“Errands? We need to go buy more craft paper, right?” Eddie asked, swallowing past whatever heavy cloying mass was growing acidic in his sternum.

“I... Eddie, what did you mean?”

Eddie bowed his head as he shook it, taking another step backwards. He knew he should play it off, cover everything up and force things back to normal until he could piece himself together in private where Buck couldn’t see the impact all over him.

“Oh, Eddie. I didn’t- I didn’t know.”

“There’s nothing to know, really! I just wanted to be sentimental for a bit and make sure you know you’re loved by a lot of people, myself included.”

Eddie could barely recognize his own voice, the words shaky and transparent. This hadn’t been in his predictions, his outlook was cynical when it came to everything else, but not this, not him and Buck. He’d foolishly stopped feeling hopeless about them a long time ago.

“Eddie,” Buck breathed out, fingers tugging at Eddie’s shirt to keep him from escaping. “You didn’t mean it like that, did you?”

“Please, we don’t need to do this, yeah? We can just... go buy some craft paper.” He dared to glance up and seeing Buck’s stricken face almost made him break then and there.

Buck looked so fucking guilty, earnest sadness obvious in the curve of his mouth, even his damn eyebrows, like he wouldn’t ever be able to forgive himself for not returning Eddie’s feelings. Like this was just as painful for him as it was for Eddie.

“Eddie, I’m so sorry. I wish- god, I wish I felt the same way. You’re amazing, I-”

“Don’t, Buck,” Eddie started, closing his eyes against the sting. “Seriously, it’s fine. I’m sorry, too, I hope this doesn’t-”

Buck must have rushed forward because suddenly Eddie was being crushed in a hug. Buck was shaking and Eddie didn’t hesitate before wrapping his arms around him, his own sorrow tightening his embrace.

“I’m so sorry.” He heard Buck whisper, mouth pressed against Eddie’s jaw.

“You have nothing to apologize for. ‘S not your fault you’re so loveable. Just promise me this won’t change anything between us?”

It was a naive thing for Eddie to ask for, almost cruel, because he knew that this would alter everything they’d built together on what was once solid ground. Eddie had just driven a wedge in their very foundation and he was terrified that they wouldn’t be able to fix it.

But still, because Buck was Buck, of course he just shook his head vehemently and held Eddie closer. Eddie wasn’t crying but he could feel that Buck was about to start, so Eddie pulled back to try and mitigate the situation so he wouldn’t fall apart too.

“We’re okay, it’s okay.”

Buck shook his head with a sad smile, lashes wet from up close as he pressed their foreheads together. “Of course we’re okay, nothing will ever change that. I just, fuck. We’d be perfect together. I would give anything to feel the same way.”

“There’s no need, I like my best friend just the way he is, no modifications necessary.” Eddie meant it, but that didn’t dull out the burn of loss dripping between his ribs. He felt unsteady on his feet.

“I just never even considered that you-” Buck’s words cut off with a quiet gasp when the world around them really did start shaking.

At first Eddie thought it had just been his mind being dramatic about getting his heart kindly broken, but the noise of rattling cups on the dishrack and shit falling down all over the house registered pretty quickly before he was being yanked down and pulled under the dining table.

“Do you also have magical earth-moving powers?” Buck asked with a strained laugh, bending his head down to lock his fingers over his nape. Eddie had done the same instinctively, an arm looped around a table leg.

“If I did, causing an earthquake would be the last thing I’d want to do.”

“Still not a fan, huh? Surely you’ve got your loyalty card by now.”

Eddie snorted, grateful that all they could really do was look down and protect their heads. The heavy talk hadn’t been fun, but this was so much worse. “I still don’t understand how these houses stay standing. I’ve seen papier-maché creations with more structural integrity.”

“To be fair, your son really went overboard with how sturdy he made his bridge. It might have been stronger than the one it was based on.”

Something fell and broke in the kitchen and Buck’s hand automatically reached for the back of Eddie’s neck, like he was checking that Eddie hadn’t been injured despite the noise coming from a good few feet away.

“He takes architecture and civil engineering very seriously, unlike this city.”

Buck laughed, unwisely keeping his hand on Eddie instead of protecting his own head. When the quake amped up, Eddie reached out to cover Buck’s nape to compensate. Buck glanced up at him, his laugh fading out, eyes wide and searching.

Eddie bowed down again, chest going tight, because it almost looked like Buck was seeing him in a new light, one too bright, one Eddie regretted stepping into. The shadows had been miserable, but they’d never hurt quite this much before he’d gone and changed everything. Changed them.

Finally, after what sounded like Eddie’s entire wardrobe collapsing in his bedroom, the shaking slowed to a stop.

They waited for a few beats in silence for any aftershocks before lifting their heads again.

Buck huffed out a relieved breath and did a full roll out from under the table. Completely unnecessary, but Eddie had to admit it looked cool. What wasn’t cool was Buck reaching back down to haul Eddie up, almost lifting him off the ground in the process.

Eddie wavered once he was back on his feet, taking in Buck’s sheepish grin and the new worrying curiosity in his eyes.

“Guess we’re going to work early,” Eddie mumbled, turning away to find his phone that had once been on the kitchen counter and was now half under the fridge.

Christopher’s school had already sent out an alert that the building they were in was the safest place they could possibly be and that the kids who wanted to stay could resume classes. Eddie had half a mind to go pick Christopher up, but he knew his son too well, and Christopher would be disappointed about missing school.

Given the inevitable state of the phone lines, making a call was out of the question, but Eddie still sent Christopher a text, telling him he’d come get him up the second he was needed and that he loved him. Adding on a ‘Buck loves you too’ when Buck requested it, already knowing what Eddie was doing. The words were kind of painful to type out considering... everything.

Buck must have realized that too, letting out a tiny sad noise but thankfully not addressing it. Potentially because Eddie didn’t give him the chance to, already power-walking into his bedroom to assess the damage and pull himself together. His wardrobe was somehow unharmed. He ignored everything else.

Eddie forced all of his focus into each post-earthquake task, refusing to acknowledge the fact that Buck couldn’t seem to stop looking his way. Eddie didn’t think he could handle seeing Buck work through what Eddie had just ruined between them.

They made quick work of going around the house checking over the gas and water pipes before making sure none of the fuses had blown. By the time they’d gone through the same process with every neighbor in the vicinity, phone services were starting to come back online.

As predicted, Christopher had asked to stay in school with a tacked on ‘pretty please!’ and a selfie of him grinning that he knew Eddie would be weak to. Eddie sucked in a fortifying breath and agreed to come pick him up at the end of the day unless Christopher changed his mind. Eddie knew he wouldn’t, but he felt the need to say it anyway.

Bobby had sent out instructions for everyone, dispatching them to nearby high priority calls and reminding them to be safe because backup wouldn’t be on its way for a while. Buck and Eddie had been assigned to a bank three blocks away that had half-collapsed.

Grabbing as much gear as they could from around the house they had to leave in disarray, they drove there, stopping along the way to help in any way they could, finding injured people rides with civilians to nearby hospitals.

The bank had already mostly been cleared out, but they could hear people calling out for those still inside as they approached. They were able to find the bank’s manager who had done as best a headcount as she could, reporting at least ten employees she hadn’t found yet.

There wasn’t time for a structural integrity check beyond what the 911 operators could gather about the building, sending them blueprints and floor plans. The bank’s front door was impossible to get through so they found a way in around the side where enough of the wall had collapsed.

Eddie sent Buck a quick glance, finding his worried eyes already on him, before they climbed up through the rubble, calling out for anyone who could hear them. They were already covered in dust by the time they found three of the employees huddled inside a room between two shattered walls that were just about movable using the three car jacks Eddie had somehow accumulated.

They’d just gotten the employees out when they heard shouting coming from the bank’s entrance. Trailing a hand down Eddie’s arm and giving his wrist a comforting squeeze, Buck went ahead to find the source of the noise while Eddie stayed behind to convince the panicking employees to stay outside, to leave finding their coworkers to them.

Eddie was crawling under a fallen filing cabinet when he heard a gunshot, the noise resonating all the way through him.

White-hot fear crashing into him, Eddie followed the echo of the shot and the accompanying screaming. He was desperately trying to pick up Buck’s voice over the yelling as he shakily sent out an alert and an urgent request for backup.

Eddie knew he had to stay hidden, he knew he couldn’t just run in on whatever was happening, but fuck if he didn’t want to, knowing that Buck could be in danger.

As he got closer to the noise, he stayed low to the ground, working his way across the wreckage until he could see the entrance.

There were three armed men, two of them standing by the front desk with their guns aimed at a pissed off woman while she tried to unlock the registers, being ignored when she tried to tell them she couldn’t access the money during an emergency. Like a natural disaster, or an impromptu robbery during a natural disaster.

Buck was sitting on the floor among the debris and four other employees. The third gunman had his weapon trained on him.

Eddie swallowed down the bile building up in his throat, fingers clumsy as he typed out an update for Bobby, knowing he would pass the information along. Three agitated men with different handguns, no masks, no coordination, like they were looters who got in over their heads. That made them desperate, dangerous.

From where Eddie was hiding, he could see that Buck’s nose was bleeding next to a growing bruise on his cheek. The guy aiming the gun at Buck was yelling but Eddie couldn’t hear any of it past the roil of nausea. There was a bullet hole on the ground in front of Buck.

Eddie hit himself in the face from how quickly he slapped his hand over his mouth to stay quiet when Buck ignored the fucking gun on him and went back to pressing what looked like a piece of carpet against a sobbing employee’s head wound.

“-eed to let me do my job.” Buck’s words finally reached Eddie’s ears. His voice sounded deceptively calm, but Eddie knew just how terrified he was from the tense line of his shoulders to the careful way his hands were moving.

Eddie held his breath when Buck surreptitiously glanced in his direction and their eyes met. Buck deflated with what seemed like relief and, despite surely knowing that he needed to stop looking Eddie’s way lest he reveal his position, it was like Buck couldn’t keep himself from seeking Eddie out.

The gunmen berating the pissed off bank teller were finally understanding that they wouldn’t get any money from the front, ordering her to take them to the safe deposit boxes vault instead.

Eddie immediately looked at Buck again, already knowing he was going to find a plan forming in the determined clench of his jaw. For the first time that day, Buck didn’t meet his gaze, probably knowing exactly what he would find all over Eddie’s face, too. Worry, fear, as well as the reluctance that came with knowing he was about to be needed for whatever stunt Buck had in mind.

When Buck did glance over, Eddie just hoped that Buck could also see how desperately he needed him to be careful, to stay safe. Buck’s mouth opened like he was about to say something, like he’d forgotten there was a robbery happening between them, before it snapped shut. Eddie looked away, stomach twisting when he could still feel Buck’s eyes on him and the intensity behind them.

Precisely five minutes after the other gunmen left through the rubble and out of earshot, Buck lunged at the remaining one, knocking him down and landing an elbow right on his wrist to make him lose his grip on the gun. Eddie vaulted over the fallen bookshelf he’d been hiding behind and sprinted over to kick the gun away, giving the hostages an urgent nod to make them run towards the opening they’d found.

The guy had managed to knee Buck in the ribs and roll them so Eddie body-slammed him off, sending them crashing into a desk. Eddie had just managed to get his bearings when the guy pulled out a knife.

“Eddie!” Buck’s voice cracked on the warning.

Eddie grabbed onto the guy’s arm right as it swung at him, pure adrenaline the only thing allowing Eddie the strength to force the guy back and off of him. But clearly he wasn’t the only determined one, barely getting to catch his breath and sit up before he was being knocked down again.

The knife was inches from him when Buck threw himself at the guy again. There was no finesse in it, just brute force that came with fear, and Eddie’s panic ramped up when the guy hit the side of Buck’s head with his forearm and got the upper hand again.

“Put it down!” One of the hostages, the crying bank employee with the head wound, had picked up the gun and pointed it at them. “Put the knife down!”

Buck rolled off once the knife was thrown under the desk and used the guy’s own jacket as makeshift handcuffs, making him grunt from how tightly Buck bound his hands together.

Buck wavered when he tried to get up so Eddie rushed forward to help him stand, grateful when Buck automatically hugged him close, bending down to press his face against Eddie’s throat, shaking in his arms.

When he pulled back, Buck froze as he stared at Eddie before his eyes dropped down, probably checking Eddie for injuries. He must have a cut on his chin or something.

“You okay?” Eddie asked, gently wiping away the drying blood under Buck’s nose with his shirt. It wasn’t broken but Buck still let out a little gasp, presumably from the pain.

“Yeah, um, just a bit winded,” Buck whispered before clearing his throat. “We need to get Jed and the bank teller out of here.”

“Jed’s the guy holding the gun wrong?”

Smiling, Buck nodded, tilting to the side like it made him dizzy before Eddie stabilized him.

“You sure you’re alright?”

“Adrenaline crash, you know how it is. What’s the plan?”

“You need to get Jed to the exit, I’ll find a way to get the teller-”

Buck slapped his hand over Eddie’s chest. “Absolutely not. I’m not leaving you.”

“Buc-”

“No. That’s non-negotiable. I’m not letting you go anywhere without me again.”

Eddie pursed his lips before sighing, feeling Buck’s grip on his shirt loosen “Come on, Jed, you’re coming with us.”

“What about Marj?” Jed asked, wild eyes never leaving the guy on the ground.

“We’ll come back in for her once we know you’re out and safe, okay? We’re coming back for her.”

Jed, who really did look like a total Jed, nodded slowly, still not turning away from the gunman even as he followed them.

More of the path had been cleared the closer they got to the outside. They found a couple EMTs and passed Jed off to them as they were promised that every other employee had made it out safely and that Marj was the only one left inside.

Once they got confirmation that the cops wouldn’t be there any time soon, they headed back in.

They’d almost reached Eddie’s hiding spot when they heard the telltale sounds of more debris falling and taking some structural integrity with it. Buck heaved himself forward from between two desks and dragged Eddie out right as a wall collapsed next to them, blocking them in.

“Guess we’ll have to find another way through,” Eddie mumbled, keeping his hand on Buck’s lower back to guide them away just in case.

Buck stumbled on some rubble and made a hurt noise, only staying upright because Eddie was there to catch him.

“Hey, come on, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just feel a little woozy.”

Eddie frowned and pulled them to a stop so he could check Buck over, starting with his head for any hidden wounds.

“Eddie, ‘m fine,” Buck breathed, looking a bit dazed as he stared at Eddie with the same intensity as before.

“You’re an unreliable source.”

Buck tutted but he diligently let Eddie fuss over him, gaze never leaving Eddie’s face.

Eddie gasped when his hand ran down Buck’s side under his jacket and felt something wet right as Buck hissed.

“Buck,” Eddie choked out, his fingers red when he pulled them back.

“Oh. Well that’s not good.”

Eddie carefully helped him out of the jacket, finding his shirt stained with blood and, below it, a shallow stab wound right above his hip.

“Buck,” Eddie whispered again, nausea spiking through him as he met Buck’s wide eyes.

Eddie gently nudged at Buck to get him to lie down, pressing the jacket over the wound while he checked his pulse. Too slow, too sluggish.

“Adrenaline really is a powerful thing, huh? I didn’t feel it, I barely feel it now. I just feel tired.”

Eddie’s hands felt numb as he pushed Buck’s shirt out of the way so he could see how bad the damage was. The knife hadn’t nicked any organs, the wound wasn’t too deep, but he’d already lost a worrying amount of blood.

“How could I not- I should have noticed, I-”

Buck batted at his arm in reprimand. “I didn’t notice either and it’s my own stomach. Side stomach? Bottom right abdomen quadrant?”

Eddie pressed the jacket back over the bleeding with one hand to get his phone out with the other. His fingers were too wet to unlock it, the touchscreen unresponsive. Out of everything, that was the thing that almost made him break down crying.

“Let me, I got it.” Buck took the phone out of Eddie’s shaky grasp, already putting in his passcode. “I’m assuming I’m asking for an emergency evacuation?”

“Yeah, um, yes.” Eddie couldn’t hear his own voice, eyes stinging as he kept his attention on putting pressure on the wound, the reality that he couldn’t do anything else heavy in his throat.

“Sent. But you and I both know that help isn’t going to come for a while. I might have a nap now.” The phone slipped out of Buck’s hand.

Eddie shook his head, tearing his eyes away from Buck’s stomach. “Hey, hey, come on. No sleeping. We’re gonna get you out of here, okay?”

“Eddie,” Buck breathed, weakly pulling at the collar of Eddie’s shirt, smearing red fingerprints into the fabric that Eddie could swear he felt branding themselves onto his heart.

Eddie’s vision was blurry as he took in the color that had drained from Buck’s bruised cheeks.

“Who gets stabbed during a robbery during an earthquake?” Buck joked, eyes closing and seemingly struggling to open again.

“No, no, no, keep your eyes on me, yeah?”

Buck did so with a sweet smile. “It’s hard not to.”

Eddie frowned, catching Buck’s hand when its grip on Eddie’s collar loosened. He was about to check Buck’s pulse again when Buck leaned up and kissed him with a small whimper.

For a single second, Eddie forgot about the world, about Buck’s blood on his hands, about Buck not loving him back. Just a single second, before everything came crashing back in and he pulled away with a sharp inhale.

“Don’t,” Eddie started, shaking his head. “Don’t you dare, this is not a wound you die from, so don’t- You don’t get to do the final act thing, especially not for my sake. We’re getting you out here.”

“What if I did it for me?”

A sob bubbled out of Eddie before he could stop it. “Please don’t do this. Not now.”

“Okay. Okay, I can wait. Took me this long to realize I’m in love with you, I can wait a little longer.”

“Buck...”

“I’m sorry I didn’t figure it out before. I just never thought-”

“I can’t- We’ll see how you really feel when you’re all fixed up and not running on fumes and shock, yeah?” Eddie wiped his nose with the back of his wrist, leaving the acrid smell of blood behind.

“I’ll feel the same way. I just needed to pay attention because I’m pretty sure I’ve always- Oh, I think I’m about to pass out. Sorry,” Buck slurred before he did just that.

“Buck, no, hey, wake up!” Eddie cupped Buck’s pale cheek, thumb finding his pulse. Faint, but there. “Buck!”

Eddie’s chest tightened painfully as panic flooded through him but he forced it down enough to look around frantically. There was no way out on the first floor anymore but they weren’t too far away from a staircase that was still mostly standing. It was worth a fucking shot.

He was worried his legs wouldn’t be able to hold him up let alone the both of them but he couldn’t allow that, he didn’t have a choice. Eddie pulled Buck up and over his shoulder, grunting as he managed to get up, stomach dropping at the familiar reversal.

Getting up the stairs was a horribly slow process but they weren’t stable enough to risk anything else. Reaching the second floor, Eddie nearly cried in relief when he found a broken window that had enough debris under it to make it down to the street. He vaguely wondered if that was how the robbers had gotten in.

He carefully put Buck down against a desk just long enough to knock away more of the glass. His knees almost gave out when he picked Buck back up but it was surprisingly easy to push through it.

Eddie could distantly hear people climbing up the rubble to get to them but he refused to let anyone else take Buck as he made his way down. He couldn’t see any ambulances but there were gurneys set out so he laid Buck on the closest one. EMTs had crowded around and Eddie reluctantly stepped away to let them load Buck into a nearby civilian van.

Someone caught Eddie when he half collapsed. It was Jed.

“Marj, I’m sorry, we couldn-”

“She’s okay, she escaped, she nut-punched her way out.”

“Oh, good,” Eddie mumbled, vision going kind of spotty.

“I’m assuming you’re coming with us?” one of the EMTs asked, holding the door open for Eddie to climb in after Buck.

Eddie immediately gave them his credentials and demanded that they let him help since they had some medical supplies. Someone had to put gloves on him when his hands were trembling too much to do it himself, but they still handed him disinfectant and gauze, looking a little worried about what he might do if they didn’t.

The wound had started bleeding again from all the movement, but it wasn’t as bad as before, allowing them to clean and dress it properly.

They didn’t have what they needed for a blood transfusion and Buck would need surgery, but Eddie let himself believe the EMTs when they told him Buck would be fine until then. That didn’t stop him from insisting on going faster even though he knew the guy driving was doing the best he could in the mess of LA traffic, during an earthquake no less.

One of the EMTs tried to check him over but he shrugged them off, saying something about being fine but accepting their cleaning wipes anyway. He used them on Buck, running one over his face, down his neck, wiping away Eddie’s own bloody fingerprints around his pulse point.

Eddie was crying again, but he refused to take his hands off Buck to clean his own face.

Fear built up in him again when the van stopped but the driver reassured him that they’d arrived.

Time got a bit blurry after that as Buck was rushed away into surgery, two nurses holding Eddie back like they weren’t sure if he wouldn’t try to fight his way in, which he absolutely considered doing for a brief moment.

He couldn’t hear anything, he wouldn’t let anyone lead him to a bathroom to change, he wouldn’t sit down.

Not until Bobby found him. Eddie blinked at him before everything came back, all his senses clicking back on at once as he fell into Bobby’s arms and just fucking sobbed.

“I got you, you’re okay, he’s going to be okay,” Bobby whispered against his temple, hand coming up to rest on the back of Eddie’s head to hold him close. “You’re both going to be alright.”

Eddie clung onto Bobby’s shirt, desperately fighting to get his breathing under control when he couldn’t inhale anymore.

He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the calming technique that worked for him that Frank had helped him find. He sent his mind back to when Christopher was first learning how to count, hearing his own voice slowly list the numbers and Christopher repeating them back until he could do it without Eddie, his grin giddy and as proud as Eddie had felt.

Once he was able to get in enough air, he let Bobby pull him into a bathroom and sit him down on a counter. Bobby talked him through everything he was doing, starting with pulling Eddie’s gloves off and cleaning his hands, then his arms, then his face, touch gentle and words even softer.

It took a little coaxing, but Eddie allowed Bobby to change him out of his ruined clothes and into new ones. A shirt that was once Bobby’s that smelled like Buck’s detergent and a pair of Chimney’s sweatpants that said ‘meat’ across the ass.

Then Bobby hugged him again, accepting Eddie’s weight when the fight drained out of him.

Eddie couldn’t really remember what happened after that. The next thing he knew, he was in the waiting room, leaning against Hen’s shoulder while Bobby ran his fingers through his matted hair.

Eddie almost passed out from how quickly he stood up when a doctor came over to them.

“Mister Buckley is going to be fine, you got him to us with plenty of time to spare. The surgery went well and he’s going to make a full recovery. He’s being set up in a room right now, so you’ll be able to see him shortly. We usually wouldn’t allow that so soon but I have a feeling you won’t give us the choice.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Bobby said from next to Eddie, which was how he noticed that he was barely standing up on his own, supported by Bobby and Hen at his other side.

The twenty minutes it took before they were told where they could find Buck were excruciating. They’d been warned that Buck was under sedation, but Eddie just needed to see him, to see that he was fine for himself.

Buck was pale, and he was hooked up to the usual machines, and he was asleep, but his hand was warm when Eddie held it between his, thumb never straying too far away from his pulse.

Eddie knew that there were always other people in the room, their friends and more nurses coming in and out, but nothing reached him. At some point Maddie was there, she let him keep holding Buck’s hand as they sat in silence while she leaned against Eddie.

Eventually, Eddie fell asleep with his head resting next to Buck’s shoulder.

“Hey, guess what?”

Eddie startled awake with a hell of a neck crick, looking up to find Buck smiling at him. It was weak, his lips wan, but it was there, and Eddie finally felt like he could breathe again.

“What’s up?” he asked, voice croaky and rougher than Buck’s.

“I love you,” Buck said, like it was the easiest thing to do in the world. “Near-death experience or not, that didn’t go away. I’ve been in love with you for years, I just didn’t let myself notice because I never thought a reality existed where I could feel that way, where I’d be allowed to, but it’s always been there. I love you.”

Eddie let out a broken noise that turned into a small laugh when Buck grinned, squeezing his hand.

“Should we, like, leave?” Chimney asked from a chair on Buck’s other side.

Eddie jumped, only just noticing that Ravi and Chimney were there, eating Buck’s jello and both smiling so happily it made Eddie snort.

“Actually, yeah,” Buck started, not looking away from Eddie. “We need a first kiss re-do.”

Chimney rolled his eyes but he let Ravi drag him out of the room and they heard him do a half-jog down the hallway, probably off to go tell everyone in sight what he’d just witnessed.

“Can you say it again?” Eddie asked with a whisper.

“I love you. Romantically, emotionally, sexually, entirerly, the whole thing. It actually explains so much, I have no idea how on earth I didn’t realize it befo-”

Eddie had leaned in but it was Buck who interrupted himself and pulled him into a kiss. Buck made a tiny pained noise when Eddie’s nose bumped his bruised one but he didn’t seem to care, chasing Eddie’s mouth with a petulant whine when he went to pull away to adjust with a laugh.

Kissing Buck, even across a hospital bed, felt like everything they’d been through was always going to lead them to this. To Buck nudging Eddie’s lips apart to taste his gasp. To Buck’s fingers curling into Eddie’s hair and bringing him in closer. To Buck giggling when Eddie let out a helpless sound.

“No fucking on the hospital bed!” They heard Hen call out through the door followed by a cackle when Bobby groaned.

Eddie grinned, delighted to see Buck’s cheeks go pink in contrast to how pale they’d been mere hours ago. He couldn’t help but lean in to kiss each one, being especially careful around the hell of a shiner that had already stained into the skin.

Buck yanked at his collar to meet his kisses with a quiet whimper, mouth demanding in a way that made heat leak molten down Eddie’s spine.

“We’re not fucking on the hospital bed, remember?” Eddie mumbled, barely pulling away or heeding his own words as he kissed Buck again. And again. “Also, you’ve been stabbed.”

Eddie groaned when Buck just bit at his bottom lip.

“See if I care,” Buck answered with a pout but he still let Eddie soften the kisses as they breathed together. “I can’t believe we could have been doing this all along.”

Eddie hummed, smiling into Buck’s next kiss before pulling back when Buck tried to deepen it again.

“I’m gonna be cheesy for a sec, but we have a lifetime to catch up.”

Buck scrunched his nose up just like Eddie did before bursting out laughing. “Such a romantic.”

“You love it. You love me.”

“I do, and I do. I really wish we could fuck on the hospital bed, though.”

Snorting, Eddie leaned out of his reach in case Buck tried to grant said wish. Eddie didn’t go very far - he wouldn’t have even if Buck wasn’t gripping his collar - staying close enough that he could run his fingers over Buck’s face, tracing the lines of his smile, the bruising under his eye, around his nose.

He kept his touch gentle, avoiding Buck’s mouth when he kept trying to either bite or suck his fingers, and he watched in wonder as Buck nuzzled into his palm and let Eddie’s thumb soothe across his laugh lines, the curve of his cheek when he smiled.

“Years of yearning and you just want to feel up my face?” Buck asked softly after Eddie had followed the contour of Buck’s jaw for the third time.

“Yeah, actually. Just checking that this is really happening.” He could hear reverence in his own voice and see its impact in the tiny hitch of Buck’s breath.

“It’s real, it’s so real. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I know I’ve only had a few hours to process, but once I paid attention, it was all there. This feels so easy, and so fucking right, like it was always meant to happen.”

Eddie smiled, the echo of his own thoughts sounding perfect coming from Buck, especially from this close, close enough that Eddie could kiss the tip of Buck’s nose and kiss back when Buck tilted up into it.

“Think two grown men can sleep on this bed we’re not allowed to fuck on?”

Eddie laughed, shaking his head fondly as he got up and lightly nudged at Buck to scoot over. He tried to be careful but Buck wouldn’t stand for it, yanking him down and grunting when that inevitably pulled at his stitches. Eddie tutted and slowed down until he was curved along Buck’s uninjured side, one hand resting over his chest.

It was Buck’s turn to cup Eddie’s face, fingers light as they ran over the small cuts Eddie had accrued without him noticing. Buck kissed the ones across Eddie’s knuckles and then just pressed his lips there and breathed like he was also taking a moment to let it all sink in.

Eddie fell asleep again, smile tucked against Buck’s throat so he could feel the steady cadence of his heartbeat.

If the pain in his lower back was any indication, hours had passed before Eddie woke up to Christopher tugging at his shirt. Eddie grinned, uncurling away from a gently snoring Buck so Christopher could take his place. He helped him onto the bed and brought the chair closer on Buck’s other side so he could keep a hand on both of them.

Christopher sighed after he got settled, turning his wide eyes to Eddie.

“Is Buck okay?”

Eddie grabbed Christopher’s hand, resting them together over Buck’s heart. “Yeah, bud, he’s okay. He saved me.”

“You repaid the favor immediately,” Buck said, smacking his lips before smiling as he peeked over at Christopher. “Your father’s very proactive that way.”

“You always save each other, that’s how you work,” Christopher whispered, bumping his forehead against Buck’s chin.

“Christopher’s right, you know,” Eddie started, squeezing both their hands when Buck’s joined the pile. “You’ve saved me in more ways than you could ever imagine. You both have.”

Christopher grinned happily, doing a pleased little wiggle. Buck on the other hand had tears in his eyes that probably matched the ones in Eddie’s.

“I’m so lucky to have you guys in my life,” Buck said with a stuffy laugh when Christopher reached up to wipe his eyes with his sleeve.

“I’m so lucky to have two amazing dads.”

Now that really made Buck cry, hugging Christopher closer and probably hurting himself a bit in the process.

Eddie carded his fingers through Christopher’s hair and smiled, cheeks twinging from how much he’d been doing that.

“Does that mean you’re finally together? Because usually when I say things like that you both get all weird.”

Buck snorted, looking over at Eddie to meet his giddy grin.

“Yeah, buddy, and I’m assuming you’re alright with that.”

Christopher nodded emphatically before saying “Glad you two finally got your shit together.”

“Christopher!” Buck spluttered while Eddie gasped out a laughing “language!”.

Christopher just giggled. “I heard auntie Maddie say that to Carla outside. They thought I didn’t hear them, but I did.”

“So you already knew?” Eddie asked with an amused huff, feeling warm inside at the casual mention of Maddie being his aunt. He knew Buck was feeling the same thing if his dopey smile was anything to go by.

“Yep, I just wanted to let you tell me first, but you were being too slow about it.”

Buck started giggling too, hiding it against Christopher’s hair. Eddie rolled his eyes, not bothering to hide his own grin, especially when it made Christopher laugh like he was having the time of his life.

They got three new hospital gift shop teddy bears for their collection, one smaller than the other two with homemade foil glasses, all of them holding hearts.

Athena kept them updated on the stages of the judicial system the three gunmen had reached. Chimney brought them more jello that he still ended up stealing. Carla pinched their ears for being so silly about getting together, but she cried happily as she hugged them close. Hen read out the silver lining post-earthquake headlines from an actual newspaper. Bobby slept on Buck’s other side three of the four nights they were there.

After cleaning up the house with Albert’s help, Eddie moved Buck in before bringing him home. They both pretended it was temporary but Christopher clearly knew better, already sticking a crayon ‘Buckley’ to their mailbox.

Jed and Marj sent over flowers and a card signed by everyone at the bank with the demand to be invited to their inevitable wedding.

Some healing and a lot of pleading from Buck later, Eddie did find out what it was like to fuck Buck in a bed, and all over Buck’s loft, and, on one memorable occasion, in the back of the ambulance after a particularly intense call. They found out that Eddie could come untouched just from Buck fucking him slow and deep, and that Buck cried easily when he felt overwhelmingly good, which happened often, especially after a first orgasm.

Eddie found out that Buck slept with his socks on, that he only snored when he was on his back, so never, and only drooled when he was curled around Eddie, so always.

Eddie found out that Buck was really good at making all the groceries fit in the fridge, and getting Eddie to enjoy cooking, and that Buck absolutely loved doing the laundry for some reason.

Eddie found out he could somehow fall in love with Buck a little more each and every day, long past the point he ever thought was possible. He learned that being loved by Buck made Eddie’s world infinitely brighter, made him a better person, one who really did feel worthy of Buck’s unwavering faith and kindness.

They both also found out that Christopher brought the hospital bear family to school for show-and-tell and talked about how they had finally gotten their shit together. They got a call from the principal for that one.