Chapter Text
Luke was startled awake from whatever he was dreaming about by the crushing weight of his best friend lying on top of him. Luke groaned and, without opening his eyes, attempted to shove the unwanted weight off of him.
“Wake up, Birthday Boy!” Calum exclaimed loudly in Luke's ear.
Luke rolled his head to the side and tried to sink down into his pillow as much as Calum would let him.
“You know what I want for my birthday, Cal?” Luke grumbled, eyes still shut tight.
“What?” Calum answered with so much enthusiasm that Luke almost felt bad for being rude.
“I want to sleep in,” Luke yawned and tried to roll himself over onto his stomach, but Calum's weight continued to pin him down.
“You always sleep in,” Calum complained. “I thought we could do something different today, seeing as it is your birthday, after all.”
“What’s the point?” Luke asked, finally opening his eyes, but not making eye contact with Calum.
Luke appreciated the sentiment, he really did, but Calum was trying too hard to fix something that he didn't break. While today is in fact Luke's birthday, it is also the two year anniversary since Luke's parents kicked him out of their house. Luke was only sixteen at the time and he had only recently begun developing feelings for other boys. When Luke originally voiced those thoughts, his parents told him that it was just “a phase” and that he should ignore any feelings he has for people of the same sex. He did as his parents told him to do for as long as he could. But eventually, Luke met a boy with eyes even bluer than his own and he couldn't stop himself from falling in love.
-
It was on his sixteenth birthday that Luke introduced his boyfriend, Jacob, to his family. Luke was nervous about his parents' reaction, but he didn't expect them to become so irrationally angry. Luke tries to block the memory of that day from his mind, but every once in a while he will hear echoes of his mother screaming and feel the phantom punches where his father hit him. He will see the scared, watery blue eyes of his boyfriend being chased out of Luke's house, never to be seen again. He remembers the stillness that came after the beating, after his father tried to “beat the gay” out of him. He can feel the way the rug burned his arms as he dragged himself across the carpet, up to his room, and then eventually out of his house. The place that was once a sanctuary to him became the place that he feared to be the most. If Luke listens hard enough, he can still hear the venom in his mother’s words when she told him to “never come back here again, you faggot!” He swears he can remember how hard the house shook when she slammed the door behind him.
Luke was sixteen years old and he was alone. His parents had disowned him for just being himself. He had only one friend in the world at the time and decided that his best option would be to go to Calum and see if he could help him. Luke didn't expect the older boy to take him in and care for him the way that he did, the way that he still does, and Luke is more than eternally grateful.
-
Luke remembered being extremely nervous when he showed up at Calum's apartment that night. He was bruised and bloody and there was a sheen of sweat covering his entire body that caused his hair to lay flat, plastered against his forehead. He had never felt so vulnerable and worthless in his life, but Calum welcomed him into his home with open arms nevertheless. Luke refused to speak for the first hour that he was there and he appreciated the fact that Calum never tried to pry the truth from him. Luke did nothing but cry since he left his home. He showed up to Calum's apartment with tears streaming down his face. The blond hair at the back of his head was matted with blood and there were bruises visible on his face and chest. His bottom lip was swollen and bleeding and a black and blue mark framed Luke's right eye. He sat on Calum's couch after taking a shower and let the sobs violently shake his shoulders and cause his stomach to heave. When he was finally able to calm himself down after what his parents had done to him, the tears began to fall again at the thought of what Calum would do if he found out the truth.
It wasn't until three in the morning and Luke had been in Calum's apartment for almost five hours when the truth came pouring out of his mouth. His first reaction was to cover his face to lessen the blow, but the blow never came. He took a chance and peeked out from behind his arms to see Calum staring at him. His expression was both soft and hard at the same time and Luke wondered which one was directed towards him. Calum moved towards him then and Luke flinched away. He pressed his palms against his eyes and waited for something, anything, to happen. But Luke should have known that Calum was not anything like his parents, so when he heard the older boy begin to cry, it really shouldn't have surprised him the way that it did.
“I'm so sorry, Luke,” Calum cried and Luke didn't know what he was apologizing for. “I promise you that you're welcome here,” Calum continued. “You can stay for as long as you want. Hell, you can stay forever if you want to. I don't mind. I just, I love you and I'm sorry.”
Luke was at a loss for words. Everything he wanted to say to Calum got stuck in the lump in his throat. Eventually, he managed to croak out a “thank you” and the two boys spent the rest of the night attempting to fall asleep on an old mattress that was really only meant for one person to sleep on.
-
Calum's weight shifted on top of Luke and the blue-eyed boy was pulled away from his memories. Calum looked down at him with a knowing and pained expression etched across his face.
“It's okay, Lukey. We don't have to do anything special for your birthday,” Calum whispered.
Luke wanted to thank him for understanding and then drift off back to sleep, but he couldn't do that to Calum. Calum was the one person in the entire world who had always been there for Luke. Luke knew that, in his own way, Calum was trying to make up for what his parents had done. The older boy continues to try his hardest with righting every wrong Luke's parents had done by him. There isn't a person in the universe that Luke loves more than Calum, so Luke decides to play along.
“No, you're right, Cal. We should do something different,” Luke says, shifting the positions of his arms so he can wrap them around the older boy's waist and pull him in for a hug. Calum let his head drop into Luke's neck and he let out a sigh of relief.
“Good,” he breathed, “cause I already made your birthday breakfast.”
Luke huffed out a laugh and ran his fingers through the soft, short hair at the base of Calum's neck. The two boys stayed like that for a while, just content with being in each other's company. There was an innocent air to the silence that followed and it reminded Luke of when he was younger, when his biggest problem was whether he wanted chocolate or vanilla ice cream for dessert. For a moment, Luke felt like he was eight years old again. He was light-hearted and happy and it was all because of Calum. Calum was the one who sacrificed the most for Luke. He was the one who provided for him and loved him when his parents failed to.
“Lukey?” Calum asked softly against the skin of Luke's neck.
“Yeah, Cal?”
“Happy birthday.”
-
“So,” Calum began over his third plate of pancakes. “I have an idea.”
Luke groaned. As much as loves and appreciates Calum, the blond has known him long enough to run in the other direction whenever Calum has “an idea.”
“What is it this time?” Luke asked, his mouth full of the breakfast that Calum made.
“You know how you always wanted to go to college?” Calum asked. Luke's eyes widened at the question.
“Relax. I’m not paying for your education or anything.” Calum shot Luke an apologetic look. Luke couldn't tell if it was for getting his hopes up or because of the fact that they're dirt poor and can't afford to pay college tuition. Either way, Luke motioned for Calum to continue.
“Right, so I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. We have a pretty good university only a few blocks away from here and I think you should visit sometime.” Calum explained.
“What's the point of taking a college tour if I can't go to the college?”
“No, you wouldn't be taking a tour. You would go to the school and pretend you were a student there.” Calum said.
“I'm pretty sure that's illegal.” Luke replied.
“Not if you don't go inside the classrooms.” Calum shot back.
“So what am I supposed to do? Just sit outside while classes are going on?” Luke asked.
“Exactly!” Calum said as if it was obvious. “Just sit outside and listen to the lectures. We don't have nearly enough money for you to go to college, but my idea gives you an opportunity to still listen and learn. Plus, you're young enough that people wouldn't even question whether or not you were actually a student there.”
Luke pulled his lip ring between his teeth nervously, mulling over everything Calum had said. It wasn't the most horrible idea his friend had ever had. It was definitely better than when Calum had the bright idea to put Red Bull into his coffee maker instead of water so he could stay awake longer. That stunt almost landed him in the emergency room and they obviously didn't have the money to pay for something like that.
But this idea was actually a good one. If Luke could pull it off and not be so awkward and obvious about it, he could get a quality education for free. He debated with himself for all of thirty seconds about whether or not this was an ethical thing to do, but the more selfish side of Luke decided that he had enough taken away from him in the past. He needed a win and maybe this was it.
“Okay,” Luke said after an extended silence. “I'm in.”
-
The walk to the college was a short one, seeing as they only lived a few blocks away, but Calum insisted on walking with Luke anyway.
“You're like my child, Lukey, and I want to see you off to school.”
Luke just grumbled in response. When he agreed to Calum's suggestion, he didn't think that the dark-haired boy would immediately jump up from his seat at the breakfast table only to quickly leave and re-enter the kitchen with a stack of books in his hands.
“Let’s get a move on then!” was all Calum said before he scampered off to the bathroom to wash up.
Now, Calum and Luke were walking side by side towards their destination. Luke was carrying the books Calum practically threw at him (two notebooks, a folder, and a paperback copy of To Kill a Mockingbird – Calum insisted it would make him look more “college-y”) and with every step they took closer to the university, the more panicked Luke became. Luke shrunk in on himself, something he did a lot whenever he was nervous, and Calum noticed that something was wrong. Out of the corner of his eye, he realized that Luke was suddenly eye-level with him, which isn't usually the case, seeing as Luke is a long-legged giant who normally towers several inches above Calum. But Luke was afraid and he felt the fear settling in his bones, weighing him down. He unconsciously curled in on himself, trying to make himself smaller so he didn't seem like such a large target. Calum noticed his friends hunched over posture and pulled him to the side.
“Lukey,” Calum murmured softly. “There's no reason to be nervous.”
Luke refused to make eye contact with Calum, but the older boy could tell by the way Luke was rapidly blinking that he was trying to fight back tears.
“What if they don't like me?” Luke asked in a small voice. “What if they find out and do what my parents did?” Luke choked on the word “parents.”
“No one is going to hurt you. I promise. I'm right here to protect you, okay? If you have any problems, just call me or come straight home and we'll figure it out together.”
Luke nodded his head. He felt ridiculous. He was clearly overreacting, but this felt so big and new, so scary. Luke could never prepare himself for something this big. But, he had to remind himself, this was something he had always wanted. Granted, he might not be doing things in a perfectly legal and civilized manner, but who was he to turn down an opportunity like this? He would take whatever he could get.
“Okay,” he sniffed. “I can do this.”
“Are you sure?” Calum asked. “Because if you're not, we can go home and come back some other time.”
“No. I'm ready.” Luke knew that it was now or never. If he didn't go through with this now, then his nerves would end up getting the better of him and he would never go back at all. It had to be now.
Calum nodded silently and began walking again, leading the way for Luke until they were on campus and standing right in front of a large stone building that read “Blackburn Science Building” carved into the stone entryway.
“So,” Luke started, rocking back and forth on his heels. “I guess today is “science day.”
Calum gave him a small smile and patted his shoulder. Luke gave him a nervous smile in return and walked into the building.
-
The moment Luke walked into the science building – no, the moment he stepped away from Calum’s side – was the same moment that Luke almost turned around and ran home. He couldn't do this. He definitely was not prepared enough to be doing something so huge, but when he went to turn around and make a beeline back to Calum, he was almost knocked over by a horde of college students. Then, Luke remembered that he was supposed to be one of those college students and with the way that he was acting right now, like a giant, blond baby on the verge of tears, he stuck out like a sore thumb. So he began following the group in the direction of their next class. Luke felt surprisingly better knowing that he blended into the crowd so easily. Even though that kind of anonymity wasn't unfortunately hard to come by for some people, Luke thought of it as a gift.
Out of the group of a dozen students that were all walking together, Luke chose a boy and a girl (they seemed to have the friendliest faces) to follow to class. The couple led Luke up one flight of stairs before they turned down the hall and into the second room on the right. Luke didn't go into the classroom, but he was still able to see the word “microbiology” scrawled across an ancient and clearly over-used blackboard. Luke rolled his eyes. Of course this was the very first class he chose to listen in on. He sank down to the floor and opened one of the notebooks Calum had given him and drew a lopsided and uneven chart on the first page. He made a column for each day of the week and under the “Tuesday” column, he wrote “microbiology, Blackburn Science Building room 205, 12:30-1:20.” He sighed when he heard the professor begin talking and flipped to the next page of his notebook. He couldn't help himself from thinking “this is it.”
-
After sitting through almost an hour-long lecture on microbiology, Luke was sure his brain resembled something similar to rice pudding. Instead of finding another lecture to listen to, Luke decided to explore the campus. He walked past a building that had a strange, metallic statue in front of it and he stopped and stared at it for a few seconds, trying to decipher what it was. In the end, he gave up and focused his attention on the blooming cherry tree that was growing against the side of the building. While the building didn't have any fancy stone inscription like the science building did, something about it told Luke that it was the art building and he vowed to listen to a class in there.
After wandering around campus for about ten minutes, Luke apparently stumbled across the cafeteria, if the smell of French fries and cheeseburgers was anything to go by. He knew without looking in his wallet that he didn't have enough money to buy food there, so he continued to walk along before the smell of frying food could change his mind and put him in debt.
Admittedly, Luke was still feeling slightly overwhelmed and he decided that the best thing to do was to sit in a quiet place and collect his thoughts. As luck would have it, he stumbled across another large building only a moment later. This building was more modern looking than the science building and was clearly made of a much more expensive stone. From the outside, it looked cold and desolate and served as a stark contrast to the bustling campus that surrounded it. Luke decided that was exactly the type of place he wanted to be at the moment. He made his way up the sandstone steps, stopping only briefly to read the sign hanging over the doorway that indicated the building's name.
“Clifford Library.”