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How it started…
Living with Steve was something unlike Robin’s wildest dreams. Their apartment was a good size for the two of them: two bedrooms, one bathroom, a full kitchen, and a sitting room. They hadn’t fought over bedrooms when they were choosing them. They hadn’t argued over decorations, either. Neither of them really cared what the apartment looked like as long as it was clean, and they couldn’t exactly afford much in the way of knicknacks.
Steve had tried to fight with Joyce and Hopper when they showed up to the apartment on the second day with used furniture and a small television. He hadn’t won that argument, but Robin had gotten amusement out of watching him try while Joyce lectured him and Hopper just kind of glared over her shoulder at the both of them. (She’d realized pretty quickly that glaring was Hop’s default expression, and he specifically glared at Steve when he was feeling fond of him.)
Robin’s parents bought each of them a twin-sized bed and a small dresser for clothes. Steve hadn’t won that argument, either. (Robin was delighted to know that her parents still liked Steve, even though they had “broken up”.)
Claudia and Dustin Henderson had stopped by on the third day with enough food to feed a small army. It filled their small fridge and most of their yet-to-be-stocked cupboards. Claudia spent a little bit of time fussing over Steve while he gritted his teeth and very carefully didn’t argue with her. (There was a story there, but Robin hadn’t figured it out yet.) As soon as she’d shifted her focus to organizing their kitchen for them, Steve gave Dustin a tour of their apartment. Robin happily retreated to her own room to avoid a lecture of her very own from Claudia. That was Steve’s weird extended family, not hers. She liked Dustin just fine, but it wasn’t like they hung out without Steve around.
She heard the exact moment that Dustin realized her room was not, in fact, a guest room. She didn’t know what reason Steve had given to his kids for why they were no longer “dating”, but she did know that he hadn’t told any of them about Eddie, yet.
(“I know they won’t be mad,” he’d told her. “Actually, Henderson will be thrilled. He already calls us ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’.”
“Wait, who’s the mom?” Robin had cackled.
“Not the point, Rob,” Steve had snapped. She raised her hands in surrender. Apparently, he hadn’t reached the point that he could joke about it just yet. She could respect that. “I know they won’t react badly, but… it’s still so new. All of it is new to me. How can I share a part of myself that I barely know?”
And damn it, but Robin could understand that. She’d felt the same way for the longest time. She wished she could explain to Steve what a huge weight off of her shoulders it had been to share that part of herself with someone it was… but he wasn’t in the right mindset to understand it yet. And he wasn’t alone- he’d told Robin, and he was dating Eddie. He would figure it out for himself.)
They must have stopped right outside of her door for how loudly she could suddenly hear the kid’s voice. “Wait, you’re not… Steve. How badly did you mess up that Robin won’t sleep in the same room as you?” Dustin demanded.
Robin could practically hear Steve’s exasperated eyeroll. It was possible that she knew him too well. “Dude, let it go. I didn’t do anything. Robin and I are just better off as friends.”
“Bullshit!” Dustin shot back. Robin almost snorted out loud; the kid had no hesitation in calling Steve out. Even if he didn’t deserve it this time. “You guys were the perfect couple, and you both looked so happy! And then out of nowhere you tell us that you guys broke up, you refuse to explain it, and she always looks so sad! What did you do?”
Okay… ouch. Robin wasn’t aware that she looked sad. Wistful, maybe. She was beyond happy for Steve, but she did wish that she could find love of her very own. That didn’t mean she was sad!
“Drop it,” Steve said after a few seconds. It was weak, and Robin knew it wasn’t going to work for him. Henderson was nosy, and he’d clearly realized that this was a weak point for Steve. If he kept pushing, Steve would break.
Here’s the thing: Steve was one of Robin’s favorite people in the entire world. He had saved her from Russian torture, he had purposefully gotten her to safety with his kid before going back to fight the giant monster from the Upside Down, and he had accepted her even after she told him her biggest, darkest secret. He had pretended to date her to save her from being hated by her parents. He had saved her from his former “friends” when they set their sights on her. He had offered her freedom with this apartment- a place where she could fearlessly be herself. He trusted her.
Robin had been watching Steve since his first day at Scoops Ahoy!. She had seen the way his face lit up when one or more of the kids came in. She heard the way they all teased each other. She knew that Dustin looked up to Steve more than anyone in the entire world, and that Steve took that responsibility very seriously. Not answering the kid wasn’t an option for Steve, even if he wasn’t ready for the conversation.
Robin made her decision very, very quickly. She trusted Steve, Steve trusted this kid… so Robin would trust him, too. She didn’t give herself time to panic or second guess her decision. She crossed the room in two big steps, opened the door, yanked Henderson inside, and slammed the door closed on Steve’s shocked face.
Of course, once Dustin was actually inside of her the room with her, her courage faltered. The only two people she’d ever told were Steve (when she was so high that there was no fear), and Eddie (only after she was sure that he was like her). Dustin didn’t stay shocked into silence for very long, which… helped a little bit.
“Look, whatever Steve did, he’s sorry,” the kid said, giving her a wide-eyed look that didn’t fool her for a second. She was never having kids. “It can’t be so bad that it can’t be fixed! Did he… he didn’t cheat on you, right? Because he and Nancy are just friends! So even if it looked like-”
“Dustin!” she said loudly. His mouth snapped shut with an audible click. This was it. There was no backing out. This was for Steve, who had sacrificed so much for her. She could do this for him. “None of this was Steve’s fault, okay? This was all on me.”
There was a tentative knock on the door that they both ignored. Robin knew what it was; Steve was giving her a way out. She didn’t want it.
Dustin’s eyes had narrowed dangerously, and it made her want to flinch away. “Did you cheat on him?”
“We would have had to be dating for cheating to occur,” Robin replied. She had to fight back hysterical laughter at the absurdity of the situation. “Steve and I never really were.”
“... What?” the anger had faded to confusion. “But you said-”
“Steve is the best friend I’ve ever had, and I absolutely love him,” Robin interrupted. “But I could never be in love with him.”
“Why not?” Dustin demanded, crossing his arms. “Steve is the best guy in Hawkins, even when he’s an asshole. He definitely loves you! What could be holding you back? I’m sure if you-”
“Kid!” she cut him off again, smiling slightly. “It’s cute that you’re so… protective of Steve. He’s lucky that you’ve got his back. Steve and I are never going to be a thing, though.”
Dustin opened his mouth to argue more, but she held up a hand to stop him. “Steve is an amazing guy. He agreed to tell everyone that we were together to protect me, because if my parents ever found out… that I like girls…”
The kid’s mouth dropped open in surprise, but there was no disgust on his face. She felt some of her tension bleeding away. He was silent for a while, and she let him think it all through.
“So… nobody cheated on anybody?” Dustin asked, looking more uncertain than she had ever seen him. The question made her laugh, and it wasn’t hysterical at all.
“No,” she confirmed. “No cheating has occurred. Just me being a lesbian.”
That was the first time she’d ever said the word out loud, and she was surprised by how easily it had left her mouth. She was even more surprised when Dustin lunged forward to give her a tight hug. It took her a second to return it, and she had to blink away tears. They both pretended that she wasn’t crying when he pulled back to grin up at her.
Maybe kids weren’t so bad after all.
Steve cornered her as soon as the Hendersons left. She wasn’t really sure what he thought of her coming out to Dustin, because she hadn’t come out of her room when she’d sent him out to go bother Steve again. She couldn’t read the expression on his face when she let him into her room.
She wasn’t left guessing for long. Instead of walking past her into the room, he stopped in front of her and wrapped her into his arms. She relaxed into the embrace easily. Not for the first time, she acknowledged in the privacy of her mind that life would be easier for both of them if they could just be in love, like all of the kids seemed to want.
“Thank you,” he whispered, resting his cheek on her shoulder. She squeezed him just a little bit tighter. “I swore Dustin to secrecy. He won’t tell anyone, not even the other kids. You can trust him.”
“I trust you,” she said quietly, closing her eyes and giving in to the urge to smile. “I can trust your kid, too.”
“I’d protest, but he calls me ‘Mom’ all the fucking time, so what’s the point?” Steve sighed. He was trying his best to sound annoyed, but Robin saw right through him.
“Mama Steve has a nice ring to it,” she teased, pinching his side lightly just to see him flail. It almost earned her an elbow to the face, but it was worth it to see the deeply annoyed expression on his face. She was still laughing at him when he shoved her pillow over her face in a (fake) attempt to smother her.
The second time…
Steve didn’t usually invite Robin when he went to have dinner with the Byers family. That was his thing (and she very carefully never teased him about all of his “extended family” or how he’d managed to charm all of these kids’ parents so absolutely), and she was happy to let him have it all to himself. However, since she’d outed herself to prevent him from having to out himself , he’d been dragging her around more with his kids. (And Eddie, of course. She never minded seeing Eddie.)
He got off of his shift, stopped by the apartment to find her, and forced her into his car to go to dinner with the people who had all but adopted him. It wasn’t intimidating at all. Thankfully, he informed her on the drive over that Hopper and El wouldn’t be in attendance that night. He was working a late shift and had promised El homemade waffles for her patience with him. It was sweet.
Jonathan’s car was in the driveway, but it was the only one there when Steve pulled in. She heard him muttering under his breath about Joyce working late, but she was pretty sure she wasn’t meant to be listening, so she didn’t say anything. The door was already opening by the time they made it to the porch, and she was surprised to see that it was Jonathan waiting to greet them, not Will. He clapped Steve on the shoulder with a big smile, then turned the smile to Robin and offered her a hand.
This was one of those moments that she had to make a choice before she really had time to think it through. This was the closest thing to an actual family that Steve had. Jonathan was, for all intents and purposes, basically Steve’s brother. She could be normal and shake his hand, offer the usual standard greetings, and have an awkward dinner with these people that she barely knew. Or…
Robin ignored his hand completely, going in for a hug instead. She wasn’t very good at showing physical affection like this- it was something that she’d been working on since she’d moved in with Steve. She was pretty comfortable with being tactile with Steve by now, and she was working on getting there with Eddie and Dustin. The adult was more appreciative than the teen. Robin didn’t know much about Jonathan, but she knew that he was pretty big on being a loner, other than Steve and Nancy. He knew about Steve, she was pretty sure of that. (And okay, maybe that was entirely her fault. She’d apologize and grovel if that ever came out, but she’d also be pointing out that they’d never have gotten together in the first place if she hadn’t done what she’d done.)
The look on Jonathan’s face when she pulled away was a pretty impressive mix of shock and confusion, but he didn’t shove her away or anything. Steve was grinning brightly over his shoulder at the both of them, and Robin was glad that she’d done it. She knew Steve had been nervous about tonight, but she still hadn’t figured out exactly why.
“Have you started cooking yet, or were you waiting for me?” Steve asked, ruffling Will’s hair on his way by the couch towards the kitchen. Will glared at him playfully, reaching up to fix his hair immediately, but he didn’t yell the way that Robin would have.
“The house isn’t burnt to a crisp, so…” Jonathan replied, giving her a small smile as he shoved the door closed. “Mom should be home within the next forty minutes. There was some emergency with the Wheelers, I guess.”
“What?” Will asked, perking up in interest. Robin took note of it with a small smile. She’d been keeping track of Will’s reactions for a while now. She had pretty good gaydar, if she said so herself, and she was pretty sure Will was… something. She just wouldn’t come right out and ask him.
“I don’t have details,” Jonathan said quickly, holding his hands up. Steve rolled his eyes fondly, then turned his attention back to pulling things out of cupboards to make… Robin wasn’t really sure.
“What good are you?” Steve asked, sending a wink over to Will. Robin couldn’t hide her fond grin as she settled against the counter to watch.
“I had more information than you did,” Jonathan pointed out, crossing his arms. “I think that means I’m more good than you are.”
“I don’t think that’s how that goes,” Robin pointed out. Jonathan gave her a playful glare while his brother laughed out loud.
“She got you there,” Steve informed him, pointing with a wooden spoon and a smirk. “Besides, I happen to know what the crisis is.”
“Oh?” Will asked, trying (and failing) to sound casual about it. It was cute, really. Robin really, really hoped that she’d never been as obvious when she was a baby gay. Neither Steve nor Jonathan seemed to notice, though, so it was okay.
“Mhm,” Steve confirmed. “Nancy called earlier looking for Robin while she was at work, and she told me all about it.”
“Wait, Nancy called for me?” Robin asked, raising her eyebrows. “And you’re just now telling me? What the hell, Steve?”
“... Yes,” Steve replied, giving her an innocent smile. “Sorry, I got caught up at the station pretty much immediately afterward, and I forgot to call over to Family Video to tell you. And we’re out of paper, so… no note.”
“It’s fine,” she sighed. She’d call her best friend when they got home later that night. It must not have been anything important if Nancy hadn’t called or stopped by Family Video when she didn’t get ahold of her. “But what was this big emergency?”
“Yeah!” Jonathan jumped in. Robin was pretty sure he was holding back a grin. “What was so important that Nancy told you and not me?”
“She wanted to tell Robin,” Steve pointed out quickly. “I’m just apparently a good substitute.”
“I don’t think she told you anything,” Jonathan teased.
“For your information,” Steve started. He paused for a second, and then seemed to deflate. She watched the fight bleed out of him as quickly as it had come, and she had to bite back her concern. “Holly got her hands on scissors this morning and cut off a big chunk of her own hair. Then when Mike tried to take the scissors away, she managed to get some of his hair, too.”
“... I’m sorry, what?” Will asked. His eyes were wide, and she could see the start of a giant smile spreading across his face. “Holly cut Mike’s hair?”
“Yeah, man,” Steve answered, smiling slightly. “Which of course made him freak out, which freaked Holly out. Mrs. Wheeler couldn’t get her to calm down, and Mike won’t come out of his room. So I imagine your mom went over to do some damage control, since she’s best friends with Mrs. Wheeler. Right?”
“I wouldn’t say best friends,” Will replied, still looking too amused for his own good. “But yeah, that would make sense. Holly calls her ‘Aunt Joyce’, I’ve heard it.”
“Anyways, that’s what’s happening. And I’m pretty sure that Nance just wanted to laugh with you about it, Rob,” Steve replied. “I couldn’t get her to stop laughing the whole time we were on the phone. It was kind of ridiculous.”
There was quiet in the kitchen for a while, and it was peaceful. Steve moved around like he owned the place, and Robin was more than content to just watch him work. Jonathan had disappeared into his room, but Will had pulled out a chair at the table and was silently watching the both of them. Every once in a while, Steve would make a soft sound and point at something, and Robin would jump in to help. She knew without having to ask when he needed her to chop up the tomatoes (because she couldn’t run for shit, but she was decent with a knife), and when he needed a second pan or another spoon. This was familiar for both of them; Robin couldn’t cook at all, but she was good at helping with the prep work, and she was good at reading Steve. Sometimes she knew when he needed something before he did.
That translated into more than just cooking. She always knew when he’d had a hard day at work just from the set of his shoulders when he walked into their apartment, or when he had one of his headaches (a side effect of three concussions in as many years, though she only knew that because her father had pulled her aside to warn her about it). She knew when he’d spent the day with his kids without being told, because he was always lighter in the evenings after that. She knew when he liked a movie they were watching by the way his eyes would dance across the screen. She knew the difference between every single one of his smiles, fake and real.
On the other hand, he knew just as much about her. He always knew when she was dreading something, even though she would never burden him by complaining about it. He knew when she’d gone to see her parents, and he always had hot chocolate waiting for her when she came back out of her room (changing out of the clothes that she wouldn’t wear under ordinary circumstances- her armor, as it were). He knew when Keith was on her last nerve, and he’d show up at the end of her shift to take her for burgers and milkshakes and make her laugh until her lungs ached. There was nobody in the entire world that knew her better than he did.
She didn’t know what Will saw when he looked at them, but she could guess. Every time she glanced in his direction, his face was open and his expression was… broken. He looked so sad, and she thought she might know why. Because as certain as she was that Will was gay, she was equally certain that Mike was… not. And the way Will’s face lit up whenever the younger Wheeler’s name was so much as mentioned gave him away every time- if anyone knew to watch for it. And Robin did.
It wasn’t really a surprise to her when Will finally worked up the courage to ask whatever it was he’d been thinking the whole time they’d been cooking. Robin had just finished laying out plates and silverware when he opened his mouth, and she steeled herself for what she was pretty sure was coming.
“Why did the two of you break up?” he asked quietly. His eyes were on Steve, but he directed the question to the both of them. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Jonathan retreat back into his room quickly instead of joining them as he’d been about to. Coward.
“What?” Steve asked, looking a little bit alarmed. She didn’t know how he hadn’t seen that coming. It had been so obvious to her. But Steve was pretty oblivious.
“You’re so good together,” Will pressed on determinedly. “I just… don’t get it. None of us do. Look at you! You know each other so well. You had whole conversations without ever opening your mouth. If I had that… if I knew there was someone who loved me the way you so obviously… I’d never let them go. So how could you?”
It sounded like an accusation, and in a way, it was. It made Robin’s heart ache for him. She knew how it felt to love someone so completely and know that it could never be. That was her whole life. Someday, she’d share that with him. She’d show him that he wasn’t alone.
“We’re not… we don’t love each other like that,” Steve replied awkwardly, turning the heat off on the stove so that it wouldn’t burn the food. “Robin and I are perfectly happy just being friends.”
“No, you’re not,” Will laughed, but it wasn’t a happy sound. It sounded bitter. “I know- Look, you don’t have to talk to me about it, it’s fine. I’m just a kid, I get it. But you should talk to each other about it, because you don’t have to be… you don’t have to be miserable. You could be happy together.”
“Oh god,” Robin whispered. She was torn between highly amused at being so misunderstood and horrified that the kid was laying himself bare and Steve wasn’t understanding what he was really saying at all.
“I’m sorry, I know I should mind my own business,” Will said, hanging his head. He was deflating the same way that Steve had earlier. She could see Steve struggling with himself as he realized he didn’t know how to fix this. Well… Robin did.
“Nah, it’s fine,” she told him, forcing a smile to seem much more relaxed than she really felt. “You’ve been thinking about this for a long time, haven’t you?”
“Yeah,” Will said after a few seconds of hesitation. “Ever since Steve told us that the two of you were going back to being just friends. He won’t say why. I don’t know what you guys told Dustin, but he’s letting it go, and… I just want you to be happy! At least one of us deserves to be.”
“Are you not happy?” Steve asked, stepping closer. He looked like he was going to reach out for the kid, but Robin gave a subtle shake of her head and Steve let his hand drop back to his side. Will didn’t seem to notice the aborted movement at all.
“I’m… I’m fine. Happy,” Will replied a beat too late. It wasn’t convincing at all. Steve looked like he was seconds away from saying something he’d regret later, so Robin decided to save him from himself- again.
This time it was easier to bare her soul to a kid she barely knew. She’d never been more certain in her life that someone was… like her. Maybe that’s what made it so easy to pull the chair beside him out from the table and settle herself into it. “Do you want to know why Steve and I will never be more than friends?”
“Yes,” Will said without hesitation. Her smile shifted to something more genuine, and she leaned forward to put her elbows on the table. Jonathan was listening in, she was sure, but she’d deal with him (and inevitably Nancy) later.
“Rob,” Steve said quickly, looking alarmed. She had one brief moment of being offended that he thought she’d out him before she realized that his alarm was for her and not because of her. She shook her head at him, still smiling gently.
“It’s fine,” she told him. “You trust him, so I trust him. Right?”
“... Right,” he said, letting out a small smile of his own. “Just know that you don’t have to, okay? I’m not asking you to.”
“You never have, and you never will,” she nodded. “It’s not who you are, and I love who you are. I’m doing this because I want to, not because I feel like I have to. That’s all it will ever be, every time.”
“Okay,” he replied, as if it was as simple as that. And it was.
“What is going on right now?” Will asked, looking hopelessly confused.
“I’m explaining to you why Steve and I are just friends and only ever will be just friends,” Robin replied. Steve backed away to finish the food, giving them the space to have this conversation without pressure. “Steve and I are… the same as you and Jonathan, okay? He’s the one person in this world who knows me better than I know myself. He’s my favorite person, and a part of my family. I love him with my whole heart, but I’ll never be in love with him.”
The conversation was achingly familiar, giving her a huge sense of deja vu. Will looked just as frustrated and confused as Dustin did when he replied. “But why not? ”
“Because I’m gay,” she replied. Her heart tripped over itself as she said the words, and she could feel her hands getting clammy. It might never get easier to say it out loud, even if she knows she’s in a safe place, with people who would never hurt her.
Will’s face was going through a complicated series of emotions, and she recognized every single one of them. Shock, awe, fear, apprehension, and then hope. She watched him track Steve as he crossed the kitchen to kiss Robin’s shoulder and settle a comforting hand on her shoulder, like he knew how hard it was for her to say it out loud. (He did know. She’d told him how it had felt when she’d said it out loud to Dustin.)
“You… you’re…” the words came out slowly, and his voice was so soft that she could barely hear him. She was a little concerned that he might pass out from how hard he was freaking out. She’d be worried more if she thought for one second that it was a bad freak out. She recognized it for what it was, though. Steve… did not.
“Is there a problem with that?” he asked, squeezing Robin’s shoulder a little tighter. She winced, but didn’t try to shake him off. It was cute and heartwarming that Steve was willing to defend her to one of the kids he adored. It made her feel better about her apparent decision to use herself as a decoy any time he might feel pressured into coming out before he was ready.
“NO! No, no!” Will said quickly, holding up his hands. His cheeks had turned a dark red in embarrassment and horror that his reaction had been taken in the wrong way. “No, of course not! I just… I didn’t think… I-”
“Breathe, kid,” she said gently. Her look was probably more knowing than she’d like, and he was regarding her with wariness and that same hopeful expression he’d been wearing when she’d said the words out loud. “It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry,” he said after a few deep breaths. “I’m… you surprised me. I never would have guessed.”
“That’s kinda the point,” she said lightly, grinning. “That’s why Steve and I told everyone we were dating. He’s the best friend I could ever ask for. I don’t know what I did to deserve him.”
“Oh, please,” Steve snorted, finally releasing her. “As if you’re the one who doesn’t deserve me.”
“Shut up,” she laughed, nudging him in the side. “Come on, Joyce will be home any minute. Finish the food, Dingus.”
“So bossy,” Steve muttered under his breath. He did immediately move back to the stove, though, so she didn’t take it as an insult.
Robin didn’t miss the thoughtful looks that Will gave Steve through their entire dinner, and she was pretty sure Steve would be having a private conversation with the youngest Byers at a later date that would be very familiar to him. Hopefully that one wouldn’t take place on a bathroom floor, though. She didn’t really think anything else of it until they were on their way out of the door. She’d already said goodbye to the Byers family, and she was nearly to the car before she heard someone calling her name from the porch.
By the time she’d turned around, Will had already made it across the lawn to her. For the second time that week, she found herself trapped in an embrace with one of Steve’s kids. Also for the second time, she felt herself melt into it. She held him just as tightly as he was holding her, because she could tell that he needed it. She wasn’t sure how long they stood there like that before Will worked up his courage enough to say the words that she knew were always on the tip of his tongue.
“Me too,” he whispered before he pulled away. “I’m gay, too.”
She didn’t get a chance to reply before he was running back across the lawn and into the house without another word, but she didn’t really need to say anything at all. She was so, so proud of him.
The third time…
She was alone at Family Video, rewinding tapes at the counter and going over the conversation she’d just had with her mom on the phone. Her mom had been trying to get her and Steve to come over for dinner since they’d moved in together, and Robin was pretty sure she was planning to use said dinner to get them to admit that they were “still in love”. She wasn’t subtle about it, so Robin wasn’t being subtle when she made excuses not to. She was slightly relieved when the bell on the door jingled, and even more relieved when she looked up to see Steve and Max making their way to the counter.
“Ahoy! Are you ready to set sail on this sea of flavor with me?” she asked, grinning wickedly. She dissolved into giggles when Steve threw a movie case at her head.
“Will you ever let that go?” he grumbled, much to her amusement. She shook her head, wiping a stray tear off the corner of her eye. He gave an aggravated sigh. “Of course not.”
“You two are lame,” Max noted, crossing her arms. Robin wasn’t fooled; the corners of her mouth were tugging upwards too much for her to really mean it.
“Go pick out your movie,” Steve shot back, shoving her shoulder gently. It wasn’t enough to move her, but she rolled her eyes at him anyway. The kid had an attitude, and it was amusing to watch.
“Fine, Mom,” she replied, smirking. Then she stomped off in a random direction. Robin wasn’t really paying much attention to her, if she was being honest. The door had opened again, and the same blonde cheerleader who had come in for the last three days stepped into the store. She was smiling, but it faded a little when she saw Steve standing at the counter with Robin. Robin watched the girl square her shoulders and head into the horror section, but she knew that no movies were going to be rented. They never were. She didn’t even know the girl’s name, yet.
Steve snapped his fingers in front of Robin’s face and she flinched backwards. She turned her glare to Steve, who was smirking at her in amusement. “Why don’t you, I don’t know, go ask her if she needs help?” he said quietly, leaning in so that only she could hear him. She rolled her eyes.
“She doesn’t want my help,” she shrugged. She was pretty certain of that. Cheerleaders would never be interested in band geeks, it was a fact of life. And that they were both girls… Steve was dreaming. ( Robin was dreaming, but she’d never admit to it out loud.)
“Chrissy’s pretty cool, from what I remember,” Steve informed her. ( Chrissy… what a cute name.) “She might surprise you. At the very least, she’d be a good friend.”
“Sure, Steve,” Robin sighed. He’d been on a kick lately of trying to get her to talk to every single girl she glanced at twice. It was sweet that he wanted her to be happy, but it wasn’t realistic. And it would be dangerous if anyone else heard him say things like that. “Maybe next time, okay?”
“Sure,” Steve agreed easily. He seemed to believe that he’d won the argument, and she shook her head in amusement. That amusement only grew when Max dumped an armful of movies onto the counter between them.
“There, pick the one you want. Those are the ones I’m interested in,” she said. She sounded bored, but she was watching both of them read the titles with a satisfied smirk on her face.
Sixteen Candles, Dirty Dancing, The Princess Bride, Say Anything, Grease… Robin was completely certain that none of those were the kind of movie that Max would actually enjoy. They all had a similar theme: rocky romance with a happy ending. It was glaringly obvious what the kid was going for, and it made Robin groan.
“Really? You too?” she asked, trying to keep her voice as even as possible. She was frustrated, but she didn’t want to take it out on Max. It wasn’t her fault that they hadn’t been very good at explaining themselves. It wasn’t like the explanation was an easy one.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she replied innocently. “Is there something wrong with my movie choices?”
“There’s no way you’ve watched a single one of these in your life,” Robin countered, crossing her arms. “This isn’t your type of movie and we both know it.”
“For your information, I’ve watched Grease,” Max shot back. She looked pretty impressed with herself. “Lucas likes it.”
“Great,” Robin snorted, shaking her head. “I see what you’re doing here, and it’s not going to work for you. Let it go, kiddo.”
“I’m not a kid,” Max informed her angrily. “And this is the best plan I could come up with on short notice, okay? Will’s got Mike and Lucas convinced that you guys are perfectly happy as you are, but I have eyes. I can see how Robin is struggling, okay? So I don’t know what Steve did to fuck up-”
“Language,” Steve protested automatically, but he was completely ignored. Robin was too shocked to laugh like she normally would.
“- But I know that you guys can get through anything if you try. So why aren’t you trying?” she finished loudly.
On the one hand, Robin is both touched and amused that the kids had collectively decided that their breakup was Steve’s fault and not hers. It was beyond funny that they all thought she was the one capable of making things work, when the exact opposite was the case. At least Steve had the possibility of being attracted to her- and he had been, for five whole minutes of their lives.
On the other hand… “You know, I’m offended that all of you are convinced that I’m miserable,” she complained. “Is it just because I’m single, or do I radiate sadness? What is it?”
“You just…” Max considered her answer, frowning in thought. “It’s this look you get whenever you see Steve smiling or laughing. Like you’re wishing for something.”
“Because I am,” she said automatically. “But it’s not Steve. I don’t want anything beyond friendship from him.”
“Bullshit,” Max rolled her eyes. “You wouldn’t look at him like that unless you wanted him.”
“Max,” Steve sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m so sorry, Rob. I should have seen this coming.”
“It’s not your fault, Dingus,” she told him gently. “Are you actually going to rent those movies? Because I’m making you put them away if you’re not.”
“I’m on it,” he replied, giving her a little smile as he gathered the movies into his arms and went to reshelve them for her. She was only mildly surprised that he was doing it without complaint. She figured he was giving her time to talk to the obviously upset child still standing in front of her with crossed arms and an annoyed expression.
“So?” Max asked. Robin was pretty sure she was tapping her foot impatiently, but she couldn’t see it over the desk. “What did that asshole do?”
“Jesus,” Robin grinned. “All of you are so certain it was his fault. It’s really funny, but it’s not true. He’s an idiot, but he’s not the reason we’re not together.”
“Then…” Max trailed off, clearly expecting her to fill in the blanks. Steve still wasn’t back, and Robin was completely certain he was done putting the movies away. She’d tease him for being a coward later.
Maybe it was because the first two kids had reacted so well, or maybe it was just because Robin was tired of hiding who she was… she found it much easier to say the words out loud this time. Max was staring at her expectantly, and she was going to take great pleasure in the shocked look that was about to cross the kid’s face.
“I adore Steve, but he’s not my type,” Robin shrugged. Max looked ready to argue with her, so she went in for the kill. “I like women.”
Three things happened at the exact same moment, leaving Robin reeling.
Steve skidded around the corner, knocking over an entire endcap of movies in his apparent panic as he flailed his arms at her. “Robin!” His voice sounded choked, and she wasn’t sure what was wrong until she realized that the loud thud had come from before he’d knocked over several movies.
Chrissy Cunningham was standing, just barely visible from the counter, at the end of the horror section. The loud thud had come from her dropping the stack of three movies she’d been heading to the counter with. She had very clearly heard what Robin had just said, judging by the shocked expression on her face.
Max, meanwhile, had gone from angry, to shocked, to horrified as she took in the entire scene. “Holy- SHIT,” she swore quietly, glancing between the three older teens in alarm. She didn’t seem to be upset by Robin’s admission, but she was definitely upset- or worried- about the fact that someone else had heard it.
Robin didn’t get a chance to think of what to say. Chrissy’s face stayed shocked, but her cheeks turned a dark shade of pink and she hurried out of Family Video like there was someone chasing her. All three of them stared after her for a while, until Steve seemed to shake himself out of it and hurried over to the counter. He hopped over it and pulled Robin into his arms, letting her have her freak-out with her face buried in his chest.
“It’s going to be fine,” he told her softly. “It’s… I don’t think she’s going to tell anyone. Chrissy mostly keeps to herself these days. You’re safe, okay? You’re safe. I’m so proud of you.”
Robin let out a shaky laugh, trying not to cry at how gentle he was being with her. She’d seen him do this for Will before, and once for Max when she’d scraped up her knee and needed stitches. It’s the only way he knew how to offer comfort, and she was aware of that. She let him hold her and whisper comforting things, struggling to calm her down as she panicked. They both knew that it very likely was not okay, but neither of them were going to mention that. She knew better than anyone that worrying about her secret getting out would do no good at all. It either would or it wouldn’t.
After so many years of being afraid of what people would say, or being afraid of losing everyone she cared about, she could finally say that she wasn’t really afraid anymore. She hadn’t been sure, before that very moment. It would still hurt more than anything else if her parents found out and disowned her… but she had a bigger family, now. She had Steve, who she knew would never turn his back on her. She had Eddie, who was a kindred spirit and completely taken with Steve. She had Jonathan and Nancy, who had already offered their support after the disaster before dinner with Will. She had the kids, too, and she was sure of that now. They weren’t her kids, but they were there for her.
And for the first time in her life, she liked who she was. She wasn’t ashamed to be herself anymore, thanks to the support she’d been receiving from her friends. She wasn’t looking forward to what people would say when they found out, but she knew that she’d be able to hold her head high until she could get out of Hawkins as long as she had Steve and the others. It was with that in mind that she wiped her tears away, squared her shoulders, and stepped back from Steve’s embrace.
“It’s okay,” she told him. A quick glance at Max showed that she was wiping away a tear of her own. That wasn’t what she wanted at all. “Really, it’s okay. Everything is going to be just fine, guys.”
“How can you say that?” Max asked, her voice small for the first time that Robin had ever heard it. “I’m so… I’m sorry. I should never have pushed you.”
“You just wanted us to be happy,” Robin reminded her gently. “It’s not your fault that I forgot we weren’t alone. I’m not upset with you at all, and neither is Steve. I promise.”
“Of course not,” Steve agreed easily. He hadn’t crossed back over the counter yet, and Robin was ridiculously grateful that he was keeping so close. Still, she had a shift to finish.
“You should get Max back home before it gets much later,” she told him softly. “Do me a favor and pick me up after my shift? I know my bike fits in the back of your car.”
“Yeah, of course,” he agreed. Still, it took him a few extra seconds to walk back around the counter and toss an arm across Max’s shoulders. She wrinkled her nose but didn’t shrug him off. Robin was impressed by how well he seemed to know the kid. She’d needed the comfort, but she wouldn’t have accepted it if he’d been obvious about it. Robin had been trying to decide what to say to get her to relax, but it no longer seemed necessary. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours. Just… call me if you need me, okay? I’m probably going to be at Eddie’s trailer.”
“Sure,” she agreed. She wouldn’t be calling him early and they both knew it, but it was nice to be told that it was an option all the same. Robin laughed a little hysterically when she heard Max commenting about how much time Steve spent at Eddie’s these days, and “you know that getting high so often isn’t actually healthy, Steve” sent her into hysterics.
Keith showed up for his shift twenty minutes early and in a bad mood, so Robin left ten minutes before her shift was supposed to be over. Steve wasn’t there yet, so she went over to unchain her bike and get it ready for transport to keep her mind distracted. There was a small note pinned to the seat of her bike, and it made her hands shake when she read it.
I won’t tell. You aren’t alone. -C
And then…
It had been a mistake to accept her mother’s invitation to dinner. Robin knew that. Steve had said that multiple times since he’d stupidly agreed to it himself when she’d cornered him at the store when he’d been picking up chocolate and pads for Robin. And yet, there they were, getting ready to go into her parents’ house together for the first time since she’d told them that they were no longer dating.
Her mother was giving Steve a big hug while her father led her into the dining room, chatting about something that had happened at the hospital over the weekend that reminded him of her. Everything was fine until they were sitting down to eat. Her mother made sure they were sitting beside each other, and she kept glancing between them with a bright smile that was making them both uncomfortable.
“This is great, Mrs. Buckley!” Steve told her as he scooped up his second bite of lasagna.
“I’m so glad that you like it,” her mother replied. Her smile grew a bit wider. “You know, it’s an excellent meal for a date, too. Enzo’s makes a much better lasagna than I do. Maybe the two of you should give it a try.”
“Mom,” Robin said sharply, frowning.
“I’m just saying,” she replied, holding up her hands innocently. “Your father and I have been to Enzo’s a few times after big arguments. Their breadsticks are heavenly. They can make you forget ever being angry.”
“Melissa,” her father said quietly, without looking up from his plate. Robin was a little relieved that he seemed to be on her side.
“What?” her mother asked, still trying to sound innocent. “I’m merely having a conversation. What’s so wrong with that?”
“Mom, Steve and I are just friends, okay? That’s all we’re going to be,” Robin told her gently. She felt like she was walking on eggshells every time she had this conversation with her mother. She didn’t know how to make her understand without outing herself, and that… wasn’t an option.
“I really think you could make it work, dear,” Mrs. Buckley informed her. She had the little wrinkle between her eyebrows that meant she was starting to get annoyed. “You barely got the chance to try. I don’t know what happened, of course, but there’s nothing in this world that can’t be fixed by talking about it.”
“That’s not really true,” Steve said cautiously. “Some things just… aren’t meant to be.”
“Alright, I’ll let it go,” Mrs. Buckley said. Robin had just started to relax when she spoke again. “On the condition that you take my daughter on one last date, to give it a final try.”
Robin had had enough. She wasn’t going to let her mother try to coerce Steve into taking her on a date after they had both told her it wasn’t going to work out. As much as she didn’t want to come out to her parents, she couldn’t stand to listen to this for the rest of her life. She could see how it would play out:
They would shrug off the conversation tonight, agreeing to go on the date if it would get her to let it go. They’d tell her that they tried, but they just don’t work as a couple. Every single time Robin spoke with her, for the rest of her life, she would bring up Steve and refer to him as “the one who got away”. She’d already called him that once in a phone conversation, and she knew that it had been said to other people, too.
She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t listen to it for one more minute, much less the rest of her life. She was going to tell them.
Oh god, she was going to tell them…
“I think my boyfriend might have a problem with that,” Steve told Mrs. Buckley calmly.
It was silent for a long time, as all three Buckleys gaped at Steve in shock. Robin couldn’t believe that he’d really said that. After weeks of making sure he wouldn’t have to out himself, here he was… outing himself to protect her. She wanted to laugh, to cry, or maybe to throw up. She definitely wanted to punch him. Of course he was protecting her again.
“Steve,” she whispered, tears in her eyes. This was huge, and they both knew it. He reached out to squeeze her knee, giving her a reassuring smile. He didn’t say anything, though.
“Your…” Mrs. Buckley tried, but the word seemed to be caught in her throat. “How… How long?”
“A few months,” Steve told her carefully. “After Robin and I called it quits, but before we moved in together. I told her as soon as I was sure about myself.”
“Robin,” her mother said, turning her wide eyes to her daughter. Robin wasn’t really sure what to say or do. She couldn’t tell what either of her parents were thinking. Her father had carefully wiped all emotion off of his face like he did when something surprised him at work, and her mother had tears in her eyes. She just wasn’t sure if it was because she was worried about Robin’s reaction to the news, or if she was upset that Robin had willingly moved in with a boy who had a boyfriend.
“It’s okay, Mom,” she said after a second. “Steve and I are still best friends. I’ve met his boyfriend. They’re… they’re really good together.”
“Oh,” Mrs. Buckley said quietly, looking back down at her plate. “Well then.”
Dinner was quiet, after that. Her parents didn’t kick them out, but they didn’t seem to have much more to say to either of them. Robin wasn’t sure if they just needed time to wrap their heads around it, or if they were pushing them away permanently. Even though they didn’t know about Robin, they knew that she had known about Steve. Would that make them hate her? She didn’t know.
Before they could leave, Mrs. Buckley pushed two large containers of leftovers into Steve’s arms. She didn’t hug him, but she didn’t avoid him. Mr. Buckley had retreated to his room after a quiet goodbye to Robin. She couldn’t help but wonder if it was a final goodbye. At the very least, her mother didn’t seem to be cutting all ties.
She pulled Robin into a hug at the door, holding her tightly for a few extra seconds. “Be safe,” she whispered to her before she pulled away. She gave Robin a tiny smile, then closed the door behind them.
“Well… that could have gone worse,” Steve said lightly. Robin shoved his shoulder, snorting with unamused laughter.
“You’re an asshole,” she informed him. “I was going to tell them.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t have to,” Steve shrugged. “I didn’t mind taking that bullet for you. They can hate me all they want. I’m not their kid.”
“I never asked you to out yourself,” she pointed out, frowning.
“Of course you didn’t,” he agreed, serious for once. Then his face split into a grin. “It’s not who you are, and I love who you are. I’m doing this because I want to, not because I feel like I have to. That’s all it will ever be, every time.”
“... Asshole,” she repeated. She had to wipe away a tear as he gave her own words back to her. Then she pulled him into a tight hug, ignoring the way the containers dug into her stomach. “I love you, Dingus.”
“Love you too, Rob,” he told her softly. “Always and forever.”