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“What does this one mean, then?”
There was a cool breeze, startling the blossoms and sending them withering back. One of those days that was akin to summer in proximity alone, but it was clear autumn had started to take its hold. Days like this were meant for staying outside, going on walks, exploring the city and hanging out with friends. Legoshi was spending his kneeling by a certain rabbit who quirked a brow at the question.
“Do you really care?” Haru asked, glancing towards the flower he had indicated regardless. A white carnation, standing tall and true against the sky. She had helped nurse some back to health recently after a fight had broken out amongst the students and they had been trampled near beyond repair. Not that she minded helping the poor things, but she couldn’t help but feel bad. They were small, vulnerable beings, always on the verge of death if you weren’t careful—just like her. “I must be boring you by now. You don’t really seem like the gardening type, no offense.”
“No,” Legoshi admitted after a moment of hesitance. He said most things hesitantly, like he was searching for just the right words. Haru could never decide whether it was inconvenient or endearing. “I’m not. But I find it soothing when you talk about it. You make it seem more interesting than botany class ever did.”
Haru felt a glimmer of pride rise up that she quickly squashed. Instead, she carefully snuck her front two fingers under the flower’s base, tugging it towards them gently. “Flattery will get you nowhere, my dangerous friend. As it so happens, however, I enjoy talking about it too, so I suppose there’s no harm in indulging. This one’s a pure white carnation. Put simply, it means innocence, or innocent love, depending on your interpretation. Not necessarily romantic, though that’s usually what it’s used for.”
“Pure white, huh?”
Haru stiffened as Legoshi’s hand found hers under the flower, her heart rate rising despite herself. She knew he could tell, but to his credit, he didn’t mention it. “Just like you.”
“What?”
“You’re like the white carnation of animals.”
Haru blinked, taken aback, before a burst of laughter escaped her. Legoshi stared down at her, his confusion evident. “What? What did I say?”
Haru shook her head, still grinning as she pulled her hand away. “Nothing. You’re just a really strange guy, Legoshi.”
“I’m… sorry?”
“Don’t be. I like that about you. It’s honest, and that’s not something I get with many guys. Although I don’t know how accurate you are.” The grin dipped slightly, and Haru twisted back towards the flowers so he didn’t notice. “I’m not exactly the picture of innocence. I may be pure white on the outside, but inside I’m covered in stains.”
Haru could practically feel Legoshi’s eyes boring into her, burning a hole into her shoulder. She knew if she looked back she’d be faced with those worried puppy dog eyes, brows downcast in an empathetic misery he couldn’t help. She really hadn’t meant to make him sad. Melancholy was in her nature and she forgot sometimes how her ‘reflections’ might have an effect on others. It was better to solve this now before she’d endure the shower of praise Legoshi was sure to rain down on her.
Louis was better for these kinds of things. He was skilled in the art of silent pain himself, so he could understand the need to hurt without wanting meaningless assurances. Between him and Legoshi, it was the perfect balance, comfort and understanding.
For now, however, it was best to nip the oncoming speech from Legoshi in the bud.
“Hey, cheer up will you!” She smiled, a genuine one to let him know she was okay. She whirled behind him suddenly and wrapped her arms around his neck. He startled, arms raising as if to tear her off, but they quickly came back down once his body realized she wasn’t a threat. “Today we’re supposed to be happy—it’s the last day of summer break after all. I’m afraid there’s no frowning allowed on the premises.”
“I’m not sure that’s an actual policy—”
“It is as of now,” Haru determined solemnly. She drew one hand back to scratch under his chin gently, something she had seen other canine couples in school do on occasion. It was supposed to be relaxing, maybe even feel good, and while Haru did have to quickly sidestep due to Legoshi’s tail starting up on cue, she was met with a different reaction.
A sound that was half-growl, half-giggle slipped out as Legoshi jerked his head down in protection. “A-Ah, wait, Haru! What are you—hnn, n-not there!”
Haru paused where her hand has migrated closer to his ears. Laughter. That was a new sound from him. She wasn’t sure she had heard that yet, at least not in this genuine way.
“Oh. You’re ticklish.”
She could practically feel the embarrassment radiating off of the wolf at the question, his shoulders creeping up in defense. “A little. But I mean, isn’t everyone? It’s not that unusual.”
“Yes, but I just never assumed it would apply to big scary wolves too.”
Legoshi scoffed, rolling his eyes, though it was clear the gesture was forced out of nervousness. “I’d hardly call myself scary. Big, maybe. But I don’t think I’m any more frightening than any other predator.”
“You know what, I think you’re right.” Haru hummed happily as she once again started up with the gentle scratching, being extra light on purpose this time. “You’re not scary at all right now!”
And there it was again. That laughter, utterly unexpected from someone as brooding as him. Deep chuckles that shook his body as he gripped his knees, doing his level best not to shove her off. Even now, helpless, he was trying to protect her.
Well. That simply wouldn’t do.
She spidered her fingers back towards his ears, or specifically, the spot right underneath them that had started this whole mess. She was met with a high-pitched whimper followed by a stream of giggles as he gently shook his head, trying to shake her off.
His arms trembled with the effort of holding back, and despite his earlier protesting he was silent now, seemingly content to laugh and squirm under the light tickling. If he was trying to get her to stop, he was doing a miserable job of it.
“It’s funny,” Haru mused, half to herself. Another scribble, another bark of laughter. “It would be so easy to push me off—it’s hardly as if I’m overpowering you. And yet you’ve barely lifted a finger this whole time. One could be convinced that you actually like getting tickled like this.”
A soft, involuntary whine slipped out as Legoshi’s laughter transformed into something silly and embarrassed, giggles tripping over each other. Interesting. That seemed to have hit the nail right on its head. “I-I’d huhurt you,” he insisted, and though she could tell a part of him was genuine, it was clear his reluctance was for much different reasons.
“Please. You and I both know you’re capable of being gentle when you want to.” She paused, and, on the off-chance that he was telling the truth, amended, “I’ll stop if you ask, you know. If you really don’t like it.” She stopped while she waited for his response, and he almost seemed to follow her hands as she pulled them back—maybe she had imagined it.
He was silent, but he was usually silent. She had quickly learned that his awkward, loner attitude wasn’t just for show. Haru allowed him a couple minutes, pressing her face into the fur on the back of his neck while she waited. He was so soft and warm that she often found herself forgetting what a terrifying predator he could be.
“I guess I don’t mind it.”
“Oh?” She curled her hands into the fur on his shoulders and he tensed instinctually, waiting for an attack that wasn’t coming. “So I was right then?”
“I guess it’s kind of relaxing.” He had his musing voice on, and Haru was sure his mind was a million miles away. “It feels good to laugh. I usually don’t have a reason to, so it’s almost a relief to have it forced out of me.”
“You know, that sounds kind of sad.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“What did I say about apologizing?”
“I—”
“Don’t say it again!”
There was a pause as Legoshi swallowed the apology and continued.
“It feels nice too. Kind of like a massage, but tickly at the same time. In a good way? I don’t know if that make sense. Like my body’s telling me to get away, but at the same time all I want to do is let you keep going.”
“Huh.” Haru walked her fingers up his shoulders and over the back of his neck. She could feel him cringe underneath her, see the hint of a smile already struggling at his face once more. It was funny; the glint of his teeth when he grinned used to make her nervous. She couldn’t imagine being scared of that expression now. “I thought this was supposed to be a familiar gesture for canines—a form of snuggling or something like that.”
“It is,” Legoshi allowed, his hands tightening around his leg as her fingers kept on walking, around his neck, sliding down to his collarbone, his chin ducking right along with them. “For most canines anyway. But most of them aren’t so…”
“Sensitive?”
A blush as his gaze flicked away. “Yeah. That.”
They were silent after that, time seeming to stretch on for an eternity as her fingers’ stroll continued. It wasn’t an awkward silence though. There was something comforting about the moment; sitting and listening to the occasional huff of breath that almost became a laugh; Legoshi never still, always squirming or twitching or jerking forward, like there were bugs crawling around his shirt. And of course, his tail, her failsafe indicator that it was possible he liked this even more than he had just admitted.
“This still okay?”
Her touch had strayed from his neck, tracing gently down his back, nails pressing lightly against his shirt.
“M-Mmhm.”
“And now?”
Grazing his sides, quick, spidery movements that darted back just as quick as they came. Legoshi choked on a strangled sound, trying to regain his composure—a mission that was failing miserably. The squirming had ramped up quite a bit, and if she concentrated, she could hear a light growl of protest emanating subconsciously from his chest. Haru grinned, a sense of triumph settling over her. Legoshi was always so quick to push things down and try to hide his true feelings, all in the guise of protecting her. Anytime she could prompt a real reaction from him was a success in her eyes.
“Legoshi?”
“What? O-Oh yeheah, still—” he broke off, scrunching his face up in concentration. “Still gohood."
He was trying so hard to stay still, and while it was incredibly endearing, Haru couldn’t help but push it.
“And here?”
She crawled her fingers quickly around his sides and onto his stomach, wiggling and digging into his shirt, slipping one hand under the fabric to get at the skin underneath. The last of his resolve came crumbling down as he burst into a stream of giggles, the sound going breathless at times as he fought to withstand the pleasant, but ultimately unbearable sensation.
“H-Hahaharu!” His legs trembled from the effort to stay crouched, his position swaying ever once in a while. He looked like he wanted to push her off, but in the end he grabbed the back of his neck instead, elbows darting inwards. “Hohohold ohohon!”
“And just why would I do that, hmm?” She could feel his stomach muscles twitching underneath her hands, striving to get away. Useless, but cute nonetheless. “Clearly you like this, you said so yourself, so I see no reason to stop.”
“Buhuhut ihihihit—” he cut himself off with a yelp when her hands darted lower, brushing over his lower stomach. He almost grabbed her hand, his own shooting down off instinct, but he managed to pull it up at the last second. Haru was almost impressed by his resolve. Had their positions been reversed, Haru would have given in the moment the tickling had begun.
She tweaked his sides, arching a brow. “But?”
He flushed, the muscles in his arms cording tighter as he held them stubbornly in place.
“Tickles? Is that what you were going to say? It tickles too much for the strong, dangerous wolf?”
Another growl, but he swallowed it down almost as quick as it came. “N-Nohohope, tohOHOTALLY—aha, eh, totally fihine.”
“I see,” Haru said musingly, pressing her lips together to try to prevent the dopey smile that was making an effort to take over her features. “So you wouldn’t mind if we kept this up for the next… what would that be? An hour? Louis isn’t expecting us till then, so we should be fine. I mean, if it’s really not bothering you.”
Legoshi shot her a betrayed look, but a sudden pinch to his hip ruined any concentration he might have had before he could answer. He yelped, his legs finally giving way as he stumbled backside first into the ground. And unfortunately for Haru who was behind him, that meant she was coming down too.
The result was a pile of two giggly highschoolers, each for very different reasons. Haru didn’t even try to get out from underneath him, too content to lay there in the moment.
“You know, you’re a lot more ticklish than I’d thought you’d be.”
A sigh, not offended, simply resigned to the fact. “That’s what Louis said too.”
“Louis knows?”
“Yes, and I’ve gotten him back for it every time. Maybe I don’t mind it, but he definitely overuses that privilege. Which reminds me…”
Before Haru could even begin to consider the implications of Louis being ticklish—she had never attempted to figure that particular bit of information out before, assuming it was off limits, like most things about Louis—Legoshi righted himself in one quick flash. He flipped over so that he was towering over her, one hand braced on either side of her head and a rare Legoshi smirk glittering across his face.
“Hey,” she said, a distraction from the way her heart was pounding.
“Hey,” he said back, not falling for it. He shifted his weight to one hand, bringing the other down to her side. Just resting, waiting, a promise and a request all at once. “You know, I think I deserve some revenge.”
“Oh?” Her voice was too pleasant due to nerves. She couldn’t tell if she was excited or anxious about this new turn of events—probably both. “Don’t you think that’s a bit unfair? Considering the strength disadvantage and all?”
“Hmm.” Legoshi considered it, tapping his fingers against her sides. Long nails adorned those fingers, nails that could rip somebody to shreds but now promised to be a ticklish threat she hadn’t yet considered. “I suppose. How about this. You tell me to stop, I stop. That seem fair?”
She knew she could say no. She hadn’t been tickled in quite a while, and from what she remembered of it, it was utterly unbearable and she could hardly stand it for the couple seconds it had taken then. Still. This was Legoshi. And he had looked cute like that, all giggly and smiley in a way Legoshi never was. Perhaps this could even be fun.
“You promise to stop if I ask?”
“The very second.”
She paused, a brief hesitance, before nodding her assent.
As it turned out, she was still ticklish, and it was unbearable, and exhilarating, and incredibly hard to sit still for; she had much greater respect for Legoshi now.
His hands were fanned out over her sides, brushing against the soft fur.
Pure white.
The innocence of first love.
Maybe Haru wasn’t a carnation, but they were. The two of them, in this moment.
A carnation of their very own.