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English
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The Gang Goes To Town!
Stats:
Published:
2015-06-29
Updated:
2015-07-03
Words:
1,277
Chapters:
2/?
Comments:
9
Kudos:
119
Bookmarks:
6
Hits:
841

Illumi Goes To Staples

Summary:

all of the tagged characters work at staples except illumi, who is instead a regular customer.

Notes:

i work at staples. my friend told me to write this at like 12:30 in the morning the other day.

the only staples term i used that u need to know is that the csat is the survey that prints at the bottom of the receipt that customers take to rate the store and when they leave comments the manager reads all of them. the roles i decided on were that killua works easy tech bc gon roped him into working @ staples w/ him and hates the job a lot but does it for gon and also is very good at selling? leorio works office supplies but is very bad at knowing where things are. hisoka works copy and print and consistently makes very minor errors to peoples orders on purpose to piss them off. gon is the cashier and is the best cashier in the entire company. kurapika is the manager who hates all of his employees and his job in itself and desperately wants to switch stores, but stays because gon gets phenomenal scores on the csat.

Chapter 1: Illumi Goes To Staples

Chapter Text

illumi walks into the store. "where are the notebooks?" he asks
"uhhhh" leorio doesnt know, he never does. he pulls out his headset. "does anyone know where the notebooks are?"
"leorio, you work in office supplies and youve been there for 6 months you should know theyre in aisle 13" killua replies in the headset. "why am i doing both of our jobs?"
leorio and killua begin to argue over the headset about how leorio has a shit memory. illumi regrets coming into this store.
"hey, i asked for 70 copies! why are there only 69?" a man yells from the copy and print center. hisoka laughs. illumi really hates himself now.

illumi gives up and finds the notebooks on his own. he buys a few, no one knows why. he goes to the register to buy them.
"hi illumi! did you find everything you were looking for?" gon says, cheery as always. illumi doesnt reply, he just sighs. gon asks if he has a rewards card. of course illumi has a rewards card because he fucking loves staples. he uses hisokas card though so he can get 10% off of his notebooks. he also makes sure hisoka gets a digital receipt of the purchase because he knows hisoka hates those little shits spamming his inbox, everyone does. he pays for his notebooks and gets the hell out of there. "have a good day!!" gon says, smiling obnoxiously. kurapika sits in his office, crying at how much he hates everyone except gon.

illumi goes home and gives the store a 5/5 on the csat survey. the comments section reads "everyone working at this establishment is an idiot. cashier was nice though."

the end