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What is and What could Never be

Chapter 12: Hold.

Summary:

Robin tries to do a little gardening, but she and Franky's relationship needs a little more tending to.

Notes:

Oh this one turned out a bit longer than I initially planned but I just couldn't stop.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Hold.

The ascent had gone… As smoothly as any part of the Straw Hats' journey ever could. They made it.

They arrived in the New World.

It was, exactly as the name suggested, an entirely new world that met the little crew and it met them with such vigor they were all in awe. The weather would be enough to sink most ships, but not every ship had Nami on board. After a bit of adjusting, they were finally set on a course.

The bizarre weather patterns made time on the deck unpredictable. Robin found it difficult to read outside, which she often preferred. Tomes she would rather not get soaked by sudden downpours kept her in the library, often sharing the space with the navigator. It took some adjusting, having to find time when Olive was settled or preoccupied enough to let the two women focus. Robin was used to the little one's presence, but she was acutely aware that Nami was not. Though she would never say it, and likely never even thought about it, the last thing Robin wanted was for Nami to grow frustrated with either one of them being there.

Olive was particularly fussy after a decent lunch, so Robin decided to steer clear of the library and found something for them to do on deck while the weather held clear. It had been a while since she had been able to tend to her garden, so she figured they could start there.

Thankfully, the fresh air seemed to do the trick, and Robin was able to let her wander about the upper deck- keeping a close eye or two, or three, or four… She was well supervised, to say the least.

In spite of the weather, it had been a peaceful few days since they had arrived in the New World. Everyone had time to fulfill their duties and time for leisure, and more importantly, time to catch up. Robin could tell not every detail was shared describing everyone's two years, but she wasn't one to pry unless someone was looking for questions to answer. What she gathered, though, is that everyone seemed to be sent right where they needed to be, and to her relief, no one was too terribly hurt save for Zoro's missing eye. He gave no details about that, and he wasn't the storytelling type. She only shared with the rest that she had aided the Revolutionary Army, but omitted details she had given Nami. Not everyone needed to know, and she was content with that. Luffy was also cagey about his experiences, and the crew respected his desire not to talk about his brother. Overall, she found herself thankful that they were all safe, and proud of how everyone had performed in combat so deftly. They really had come so far for one another.

She wasn't necessarily avoiding Franky, but she had noticed she had built a small wall between them and was unsure how to demolish it. It was surely not intentional, and she theorized it was some sort of defense mechanism. One that she had honed for over two decades. She spent two years yearning for his comfort, only to return to his open arms and find a way to feel like she didn't deserve it for one reason or another. It didn't exactly feel fair to him - to either one of them.

Robin toiled away in her flower bed, pulling out the decaying roots of the plants that had not been so lucky in the two years. By some miracle, a few flowers held on, though they were looking a little worse for wear. It was hard to tell what they even were since none of them were in bloom, so she took a few clippings of the foliage to cross reference with her old journals later. She was so focused on splitting her attention between Olive and tending the soil, she almost didn't notice the footsteps that joined them.

"Fanky!" Olive greeted the cyborg for her. The little girl took off as quickly as she could, Robin crossing her arms quickly in case she needed to be caught, but Franky was there first to scoop her up.

"Yow! Well if it isn't my two favorite ladies," he called out with his signature smirk. Oh how she enjoyed seeing that face. "Mind if I join you?"

Robin could feel her cheeks flush. If she tried, she couldn't begin to explain why that was, but the more she thought about it the more embarrassed she became. Willing herself to stay steady, she uncrossed her arms and nodded. "Of course, you don't need to ask," she replied, though she appreciated the gesture.

Franky sat down on the deck nearby so that they would be in Robin's field of vision. "Super," he said, still holding Olive in the palm of his rather large hand. It seemed to Robin that she rather enjoyed being carried like that and she was sure to make a mental note. "Oi, Olive. I need help with my hair today," he started, lifting her close to his face and removing his sunglasses and carefully putting them on the bridge of her little nose, "can you press my nose and hold it for a sec? As long as you like, then let go!"

It was hard to want to tend to the withered flower bed when Robin's whole heart was interested in watching the two interact. Olive was giggling, and when Franky pointed at the metal protrusion on his face, she reached up to do what was asked. Just in case, Franky's other tiny hand assisted in holding down the button if it offered too much resistance. She didn't even flinch when a plume of blue hair popped out and worked itself into multiple different forms. Her little hand pulled away to clap, and Franky relinquished his nose. Robin couldn't begin to stifle a giggle at what it stopped on. Both girls were clearly thrilled with the result, which seemed to involuntarily fluster the cyborg. He laughed with them.

A wave of possibly naive contentment threatened to knock Robin over at the scene, but still she stayed steady. "Suuuper job! I bet you picked a cool style," he beamed, to which Robin laughed again.

"Very cool," Robin teased, resuming her task quietly.

Olive grabbed the air above her head a few times, "teddy!" She then mimicked having little claws, "teddy, grrr!"

Franky seemed to recognize which hair style it had stopped on with a belly laugh. "I guess the little lady wants me to be a teddy bear for the day," he remarked, "if I got anything to say about it, you can always get what you want. Grrr," he playfully growled back. It didn't scare Olive like part of him worried it might have. She almost seemed to have no fear of any of the crew.

Robin listened as the two seemed to communicate through grunts, growls and giggles. She wouldn't lose the smile on her face if she tried. Gardening could wait. "Franky," she said quietly, interrupting their very sophisticated conversation.

"Yes ma'am?" He asked, raising a brow. Olive also spun around to face her mother, Franky's sunglasses sitting on her nose a little crooked.

Humming her own laugh, she wondered if she should even say anything, but she wanted the wall of her own creation down, "you're very good with her - a natural even," she commented, "it's nice."

Franky seemed to be searching her gaze, and he shot her back a charmed smile, "ain't the first kid I've encountered," he said, Robin recalled old tales of his time with the Franky Family, where he helped bring together those he saw society had discarded much like he viewed himself. "Plus," he added with a somber note that was especially poignant coming from him, "I had a lot of time to prepare… And wait, and hope… and worry."

Robin could see that there was a lot of feeling behind his words, and found herself empathizing. "I'm sorry," she said, "I haven't checked in much like I should." Hands appeared and traced the fresh scars along his chest, "it must have been difficult for you. Especially not knowing."

He tried to dismiss it with the wave of his hand, but the real tears that welled at the bottom of his eyes. "No no, it's fine," he tried to lie, though it was obvious through his teeth, "I got to work in a lab with plans I couldn't even dream of! It wasn't like what you-"

"Franky," she stopped him sternly. He was quick to listen. "You needn't lie," she said simply, "there's no sense in comparing or saying such things. I understand if you don't wish to speak about it, but you don't lie." She fixed him with a serious stare. He pouted a little.

"You're right, you're right," he pointed with a sniff at Olive as if to turn it into a teachable moment, "lying is bad. I should know better." He grinned again. "It was difficult, and I would like to talk about it," he conceded, "I'd love to talk - I just want to make sure you're alright."

Robin could hear thunder rumbling, but for the moment she ignored it. "I appreciate it," she said with a nod of her head, "but you don't always have to be so considerate. Your feelings and experiences matter to everyone too." Her voice softened, a crack in the wall, "they matter to me."

Franky sniveled a little, and was about to speak when Nami's voice came over the intercom system warning of an incoming storm cel. As if on cue, a downpour began before the three could take shelter. Heavy rain drops pelted the Sunny. Franky was quick to cover Olive, gently holding her between his hands like a delicate moth. Robin abandoned her clippings, noting she would have to come back and retrieve anything that was left at a later time. It felt like a waste, but she tried not to dwell on it as she followed the cyborg.

The mist created from the rain meeting the ocean wildly made Robin feel woozy, a familiar feeling of coming into contact with sea water. She didn't even think about it, but she grabbed the back of Franky's now-sodden shirt.

Drenched, they made it through to the lower deck and into Franky's workshop. It was a nostalgic feeling, being back in his workshop. It was different. Bigger. It needed to accommodate his new body, Robin extrapolated. There was a bed that seemed to be able to fold into the wall for even more space. Tools still littered the walls, though they were not all over the floor as she had recalled. He had cleaned up a bit.

Once they were all safely inside, all that was left was a matter of getting comfortable. A difficult thing to do with an 18 month old child's worth of emotional baggage and years of separation split between the two adults. There was only love between them, but it was a heavy weight nonetheless. Franky grabbed some towels and rummaged around in his clean laundry, finding a shirt that used to fit his old form, and a small shirt Robin must have left behind at some point or another that he'd held onto.

Robin accepted both graciously, removing her rain soaked clothes without warning to wrap herself in a towel to tend to Olive. Olive was hiccuping with a few quiet sobs, likely growing anxious from the commotion and a growing need for a nap. Thankfully, the sounds from within the great ship at sea were incredibly soothing - Robin had always thought so. She retrieved her daughter from Franky's hands as quickly as she could, holding her close and cradling her against the crook of her neck. "It's alright," she soothed, kissing the top of her head as she paced around the room slowly, "you're safe. You're with me. You're with us." Her gaze met Franky's again, repeating his words that had meant so much to her back then under a new context, she hoped he understood just how much they had meant to her - how much they still did.

Olive thankfully settled quickly, her tired eyelids already drooping shut. Robin rubbed her back rhythmically even after she could feel that she had fallen asleep.

Franky sat at his desk watching them with round eyes. Robin got Olive changed gently, her old shirt functioning like a big night dress for the toddler. She set her on the bed, but partially wrapped her in an embrace of disembodied arms. It was times like these that Robin was ever so grateful for her abilities. She could hold Olive, and Olive could be held, regardless of what she was doing. She only did it so she could put Franky's old shirt on before she scooped her back up. It eased her nerves to hold her.

"Thank you for the dry clothes," Robin murmured.

"No problem," he grinned, "you can keep the shirt. It doesn't fit anymore. Plus it looks super on you," he winked, leaning back on his desk, looking a bit dumbstruck, "you both are just so amazing. She's everything I dreamed of and more and ya - sorry," he blinked as words started to spill out, "I just mean - you're both just! You're just… Nico Robin, I… I miss you."

How could a wall withstand an attack like that? Why would she want it to? She hesitated, a million responses fighting for her mouth to move where only one would do. Of course she missed him, and of course he missed her. They had said as much before. Something about the way he said it felt so genuine, reflecting the way she yearned for him as if he were holding up a mirror. To be held. To hold. She didn't deserve him, right? What did that matter? It wasn't even true, she knew it wasn't. That didn't stop her from thinking about it. He missed her. She missed him. His tear-filled gaze snapped her back to reality, not noticing the wetness on her cheeks despite drying herself off. Words wouldn't do. How could they?

Slowly, Robin's legs carried her without her realizing. They were now a breath apart. Less than. She folded into him, pressing her forehead against his collarbone, almost collapsing onto his lap with whatever was left of the wall. It was his turn to hesitate, but not for long. His shoulders began to shake.

"I'm here now," she whispered, "we're here now."

His big hands were so gentle as he wrapped them both in an embrace. His new form engulfed her and their daughter, and every inch of her body felt warm - and safe. She even felt a little silly for waiting so long, but it didn't matter anymore.

Franky risked a soft kiss to the top of her head. She did not protest. Olive was sound asleep between them. Robin was grateful she was being held up, because the sheer relief she felt made her melt, unable to stand on her own.

"I remember," Franky started to speak, his voice wavering with emotion, "I remember bein' so worried that ya hadn't eaten breakfast that mornin' - you were feelin' pretty nauseous. When we all got flung away I mean." He squeezed her a little tighter, "I worried you'd been hurt. I worried that you…"

"That I'd lost her?" Robin finished his question, resting her head beneath his chin with her face in Olive's hair, "yes, I worried about that too."

"But you didn't," he squeezed her shoulder, pressing his thumb between her shoulder blades. "I counted the days. I was sure you were too. I wanted to do what I needed to for Luffy, but every day I selfishly wished I could'a just said 'screw it' and find ya… I just wanted to be there for ya either way it went, even though ya didn't need me. I wanted… This."

Robin's breath hitched, listening to his earnest confessions quietly. "I did need you," she admitted, "don't think that I didn't. When I knew she was okay I knew that I carried part of you with me. When I met her and saw your eyes, your hair, oh Franky," Robin murmured, "I talked about you every day. I showed her your picture - I tried to draw you. We needed you, but we knew we would have you. Every night I just wished you could hold me still… I'm so sorry that the circumstances left you in the dark, and I'm so sorry that I didn't come to you like this immediately. I don't-"

"Ya needed time, I've told ya about apologizin'," he said, his voice sounded hoarse from his own torrent of feelings, "you're here now. I'm here now. We're here now. I'll hold ya both for as long as ya like, and for as long as you'll let me. I'm not goin' anywhere."

"Franky," Robin breathed out his name.

"Yeah?" He queried.

"I think I love you."

Notes:

Of course she loves him, but can you IMAGINE the weight of those words for someone who lived life the way she had to? There will be many more I Love Yous in their futures. I care them and I hope you do too. More to come :> I really want to write some Brook soon too.